Your expression towards Rin has not changed. It's still just as painful and miserable as it was before. You feel so...stupid for ever having believed in her.
"I guess I'm not the only one who 'doesn't get it' apparently. You keep whining about Satori this and Satori that...I knew her too, you know. How do you think I felt when I heard it? And then you go back and do something like this to me..." Rin tries to retaliate but it more or less just feels like a scared animal trying to wriggle it's way out of the corner it's predator had just backed it into.
"N-No! It's not, n-not like that, I swear, I...I..."
You on the other hand, don't feel like giving her the time of day right now. She's rightfully earned this. All that love and attention you felt like giving her. She's completely thrown it away, along with that Cute Bow.
"No, I'm afraid it IS like that! You know we never had gotten along very well, I was just as unhappy as you were when you came to my door! You saw it with your own eyes." Your look of rage and anger starts mellowing out as you reminisce about what went on the past few days. "But...but you know what? To think I actually stopped and paid attention to you, looked at you, and saw you for who you really were, presented you to myself as more then just a friend's cat, more then just a pet...for the first time, I treated you like someone I actually knew. My surprise couldn't be any greater when I realized...I actually liked you, Rin." Rin's eyes once again look at you with that astonishment you saw earlier, but this time, they seem more confused, and even more shocked.
"W-Wait...what? What do you-" You huff, you're not done yet.
"That's right! You heard me! I liked you, Rin! And I actually wanted to make you happy!" At this point, it's sounding more like a broken confession, but after what you two have been through, it may as well be. "That was I really wanted to do for you while you were here, was to make sure you were happy, if not for our sake then for Satori's at the very least...but as I kept going, I thought...I thought...maybe if I continued...to make you happy...maybe that the girl that I felt was so obnoxious, disturbing and generally unpleasent to be with, could have a cute, charming and...human side to her." You're starting to feel a tearing at your heart at this point. You're slowly coming to realize more and more about not just Rin, but yourself too. Seems like you were holding back more then you thought. You can't even bear to look at Rin right now, but she tries grabbing your attention either way.
"S-Satoshi, heheh, th-this is some kind of cruel joke isn't it? P-Please, this isn't really funny you know, I know you like to haggle me b-" You look up at Rin and shout at her, instantly causing her emotion to go from nervously laughing to scared stiff. You can tell both of your hearts are on the seat's edge right now.
"SHUT UP!!! You and your fucking jokes!! I could never tell if you were joking or not! All the times you threatened me with death, hell and various things like that! You don't realize how scared I was! A youkai like you could easily rip my throat in half! But I guess you don't have to do that, now do you?" You have to ball up your fists and keep yourself from punching a nearby wall. You're practically shaking in anger, but your pain is reminding you of your real direction. "No, of course you don't, you already ripped my heart in half, there's no more need to do any more damage..." Rin looks back at you with a deep guilt on her face.
"B-But, I...the bow...I mean...it's just a stupid bow! B-Besides, the-"
Rin stops very suddenly, due to the fact that...you couldn't hold back anymore. The only reason why the wall directly to the right of you doesn't have a hole through it right this moment is because the house was built rather sturdily. Otherwise, your fist would've just went flying past it.
The only sound right now is just your panting. But in your head, so many things are whizzing by. Your head feels like a loose bag of marbles. The pain coming from your hand is apparent. And your heart...is in pieces.
"...I thought you...could be sweet Rin...I thought you could be nice...I even thought...that you were cute. Possibly...even pretty. When I gave you that bow, I was so happy. A life as simple as mine doesn't get the kind of luxury you get...always being pampered by your master, always playing with your friend...I only get to just have chats with Marisa and Alice...occasionally Satori and others once every few days...otherwise...I never get to feel what it's like being around other, actually interesting people like the way we did. The way we spent time together...made me wonder why we had our fights, why we did our feuds, it all felt so...stupid. Now I'm brutally reminded why...why I couldn't trust you, Rin..."
You're feeling more and more calmed down as you work your way through your speech, eventually able to just give it a sigh and pull your hair back, trying to ease the headache you earned yourself. Upon looking over at Rin, she appears rather hurt, confused and, most notably...accepting. The look on her face, first and foremost tells you that she's realized it's real, that you're not joking, and that it's all over.
"You know Rin...I kept thinking, kept hoping that you would feel the same way...see how stupid how fighting was, see how idiotic our ignorance had been, see that maybe we could actually get along...urgh." You can't take it anymore. You need to lay down. As you turn around though, you stop and give Rin the last bit on your mind. "God...I was such an idiot, I suppose you were right all along...only someone as retarded as me could chase false dreams like that..."
In the back of your mind, as you walk back, you can see Rin falling to her knees. You're not sure if this was actually the case or not. The rest of your head is too busy being a jumble of squiggles to tell.
A while passes. A long while. Your head still hurts, even after waking up from a long nap. But of course, it's not the only part of you in pain...
You get up and search the house, looking around. Empty. Silent. The air is stagnant. It looks like Rin flew the coop after all. Just like she always wanted. It's okay though, if she's happier this way, then it can only be a good thing. For the both of you. You sigh and make yourself dinner.
You hardly even finish your own food, afterwards. It tastes stale. Dry. Like no real thought was put into it. It's at this point you realize how deep of an impact this has had on you. You're left with very confused and mixed feelings with Rin now. You don't know what's going on. Being girls, yeah, you can't say you've had the occasional fantasy with Marisa, Alice and even Satori. Though you keep those thoughts away when you're around the latter, obviously. But you seriously can't say you've felt anything deep for them. It's so much different when you're actually living with a person, that you truly start to see them for who they are. It's both horrifying and blissful.
You're not sure what to do. All you feel like doing is sitting on your...love seat. Yeah...your love seat. You're suddenly starting to realize the meaning of it now, as you look to the other seat, and wish Rin was sitting beside you. Human or cat form, you had fun while she was here. Until she backstabbed you of course. There has to be some sort of explaination behind it all, but...you can't find any. The words can't find their purpose.
All that's left is you, and you alone.
You almost fail to recognize the knocking on your door, in your extreme state of depression. You're wondering who it could be. Probably Marisa to bug you for dinner, as per usual set up. She's always taking food from you.
You get up and drearily walk over to the door. Behold your surprise, as when you open the door, there stands Rin. Tightly clutching the Cute Bow you had given her long ago, deep where her heart is. She looks up at your surprised expression with a bit of pain and looks back down, bracing herself and then shoving the bow into your hands.
"Here. Take it. Just...take it. I'll see you later." Rin turns to walk away, but you aren't taking none of that shit. Not after the hell she put you through.
"Ohh no you don't. Get back here!" You briskly grab her arm and yet another struggle takes place. This time, Rin is clearly resisting.
"Hey! L-Let go! I don't want to be here!"
"No, you owe me an explaination. Right now!"
"Dammit, I said let go! I owe you nothing!"
"That's a pretty blatent lie you just spewed! Now get in here!" At this point Rin bears her claws and growls at you with intensity.
"I'm warning you! I'll cut you up!" Rin growls at you like this for a while, but her expression slowly turns to the of surprise when she sees that despite her fearsome approach, you have not budged. You did not faulter. You kept your tight grip on her, staring her right in the eye, making her quite aware that you were not afraid. Rin then looks away a bit, her previous guilt showing through again. "...f-fine."
The Cute Bow still looks like it's in decent shape. A little wrinkled, a little dirty, but nothing a gentle wash wouldn't fix. As you're studying the bow, you're having Rin, who's sitting on the love seat, explain things to you.
"When you gave me the bow, I was happy...I really was. I hadn't gotten a present like that from anyone but Satori-sama...not even Okuu gave me a present like that. You were the first other person to actually try and compliment my beauty...I was really embarrassed, but really...happy. but then I remembered...you're human. I remembered the reason why I kept fighting with you, the reason why I kept pushing you away, it wasn't because I thought you were obnoxious or anything, it's because...you were human."
"Wait, what does being human have to do with friendship? Marisa is friends with quite a lot of youkai. Hell, Alice herself is one."
"No, that's not the point. Not quite anyways...see, since you're human, you...won't live as long as we do. I'll be alive...tens...hundreds...maybe even thousands of years well after you die. I...you saw me, didn't you? I can't...stand losing people I care about. The thought of Satori-sama leaving me...I wanted to die, just to join her...when I felt that pain, I realized...I didn't want to get too close to you. I didn't want to...care too much about you. because I knew it would just hurt...hurt a lot, when your time came."
"But...it's unavoidable, right? You deal with death a lot, so I'd think you'd understand the most when..." Rin just shakes her head, sounds like you're missing the point, still.
"No...I know it's unavoidable, but the pain itself...I don't want to go through it. If I care about you too much...it's...just going to tear me apart when...I eventually do have to carry you down to the afterlife. I knew...that if I kept that bow...it'd just keep reminding me, even after your death...about how much I liked you being around." It feels like the whole thing was just a simple misunderstanding, but you know it to be true that it's so much more then that. There's a ton of other feelings involved that made what happened to be. "I...gave the bow to Okuu. I couldn't do it myself. I'd feel too guilty. I told her to destroy it. So I'd never have to be reminded of it again. I never wanted you to know, but...in the end, I guess I couldn't lie to you..." By this time, Rin is looking away, the guilt on her face has become more and more apparent but that's not what's bothering her the most, you feel. "After our fight earlier, I decided I'd just stay over at Reimu's, to make your life easier...but Okuu told me she couldn't destroy the bow, she couldn't find the heart to. It was something of mine and she didn't want to harm it. So...I felt it would be best if I took it back here and gave it back to you."
"...I see...I guess it all makes much more sense to me now. But...still...I..." You sigh, feeling frustrated with yourself. Why is it so hard to say? You had no problems earlier. "Why can't we be friends, Rin? The fighting is stupid, you agree, right?"
"No! I mean...if...I don't want to break down and cry when you die, I just told you that."
"But? Don't you feel the same way, Satoshi? How would you feel if someone you really cared for died, and you had to live on for ages without them? Humans and youkai can't coexist like that. Never will."
"....." You're deep in thought about this. It doesn't just effect your relationship with Rin, but with almost everyone you know in Gensokyo...the only humans you know are Marisa and Reimu. This has really gotten you thinking.
"Well, Satoshi? How do you feel about that, then? Don't you feel the same way...?"
You don't know. You have to give it some thought. How do you feel about this, anyways?