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File 124571680271.jpg - (640.62KB , 1000x1000 , afterglow satori.jpg ) [iqdb]
88950 No. 88950
You nod. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, I really appreciate it."
"Glad I can help." She positively beams at you, the afterglow still making her seem flushed and giddy. You really hope she doesn't bump into her parents on the way. But if they're not real is that better, or worse? Satori's expression drops a little as she hears your thought.
"It's alright, they won't notice." She says. You nod, feeling a little reassured. You're going to have to work out how to deal with these non-people eventually, but after sex and before school is not the time.

"Back in a moment then!" Satori says as she slips out of the door, shutting it behind her again. Alone in her room, you plonk yourself back down on the bed to wait. Your pullover does need a wash, what with the blood it in. No, you don't want to think about those kind of things right now. Deal with that when you get home, or tonight. Right now is time to go to school. Maybe ravage Satori in a broom cupboard or something later.

Swinging your feet and twiddling your thumbs only occupies you for so long. Satori's room! This is as close as you'll ever get to being inside her head, so why not just look around? You resist the urge to actually look inside or behind anything, but you can just look, right? There's a short bookshelf, crammed nearly full to bursting with cheap paperbacks, fantasy novels and a few scattered classics. Crouching down to get a better look, you smile to yourself and start reading the titles of the books, trying to get a better feel for Satori's habits and tastes. At least she doesn't read trashy romance! You wouldn't mind borrowing a few of these, but you're not sure what you've read before and what you haven't. The mind wiping seems to have scrambled that part of your memories too.
Also not a good thing to think about right now. You sigh and look around for something that won't bring up horrible thoughts. What about Satori's chest of drawers? You suddenly wonder what other fantastic clothes she might have stashed away.

You grin and cross the room, a little disappointed at yourself. You shouldn't be doing this really, right? She can see inside your head and she'll know everything if you look somewhere you shouldn't.
Best to resist the urge completely. You sit back down.

Satori sure is taking a long time.

[ ] Just wait. Patience.
[ ] Is she okay? Go find her.

>> No. 88952
[X] Just wait. Patience.
>> No. 88953
[X] Is she okay? Go find her.
>> No. 88954
[X] Is she okay? Go find her.

Okay, scolding from fake parents, here we come!
>> No. 88955
[x] Just wait. Patience.
>> No. 88956
[x] Is she okay? Go find her.

:>
>> No. 88957
>Soltindir
>HAHAHAHA

[X] Is she okay? Go find her.
>> No. 88958
[x] Is she okay? Go find her.
>> No. 88961
[✗] Just wait. Patience.
>> No. 88963
[X] Is she okay? Go find her.

Did we just doom her with our last choice?
>> No. 88964
[x] Is she okay? Go find her.

Obviously a trap, but hey I'll bite.
>> No. 88965
[X] Just wait. Patience.

And then Satori's parents turn into sharks and smash through the door to eat us.
>> No. 88966
[♫] Just wait. Patience.
>> No. 88968
>>88965
That sounds awesome, I love punching sharks.
>> No. 88969
[x] Is she okay? Go find her.
>> No. 88970
[X] Is she okay? Go find her.

The faster we find Satori the faster we can get back to school and probe Suika for answers.
>> No. 88973
[ze] Is she okay? Go find her.

Shiki knows best.
>> No. 88974
>>The faster we find Satori the faster we can get back to school and probe Suika for answers.

First time I read that, I read it as:
>>get back to school and grope Suika for answers.
>> No. 88975
Am I the only one looking forward to more vidya with Kaguya~n after school?
>> No. 88976
I'm looking forward to meeting moe-moe flan-chan, personally.
>> No. 88977
>>88974
Funny, I read it as:
>get back to school and probe Suika
>> No. 88978
I for one am looking towards talking to suica~
>> No. 88982
Come now, have we all forgotten about Sanae already? We promised the girl that we would be back soon, but had our miko miko time hijacked by yesterday's havoc. We need to go back and keep our promise; not only is she a potentially valuable ally, but she's a very sweet young lady who deserves some of our time.
>> No. 88983
>>88974
>>88977

Well, we are Hibiki. Everyone good with probing/groping Suika when we get back to school? Good.
>> No. 88984
>>88978
>suica
whats a suica
>> No. 88985
Too many touhous, too little updating.
>> No. 88988
>>88984
A Japanese train smart card.
>> No. 88989
File 124578364515.jpg - (108.43KB , 800x600 , Suica.jpg ) [iqdb]
88989
>>88988

Ha ha oh wow! Hey, with one of these we might be able to get back to school faster :P
>> No. 88990
Lack of updating lately because of flu and emergency dental work. Apologies. More updates as soon as I can.
>> No. 88992
>>88975

You are not the only one.
>> No. 88997
Okay, so, something came along and grabbed me by the creative nuts, reminding me not only why I write for THP but why I write at all. I'd like to pick the speed up again on IPF, get myself back into shape, which I will attempt to do with all due haste. However! There's something else been missing around here lately: interaction with the readers, right here. Not sure how many people are left on these boards at all. So, hi. How's the story going? Enjoying it? What are you looking forward to? What would you like to see more of?
>> No. 88998
Enjoying it for sure. Looking forward to where the story goes once Suika gets involved more heavily with it.
>> No. 89000
Enjoying it, but I also enjoy the fairy story and it's harsh having one be neglected because of the other.
>> No. 89001
I stopped reading the story a when we first went to Satori's house. The relationship between Satori and Hibiki disgusts and horrifies me.
>> No. 89002
I, for one, want to see what the rest of the characterizations are going to be.

>>89001

humoredelfwoman.jpg
>> No. 89003
>>89002

Yeah I'm kinda fed up with Satori I'd like to interact with more characters.

And bring Sigma, the true bro back.
>> No. 89004
>>89001
Mmhmm, something is wrong here, I know. Go into more detail? Nobody shitstorm over this, the writefag needs to know what he is doing wrong.
>> No. 89006
Having real world factors in the story (like blood on shirt, blue balls, time limits) are great, but I can see it getting tedious very soon. Personally I really want to get to school and see the newer or unexplored things, such as the environment being different as a more awakened oni, suika, and especially Sanae. And while I loves me some Satori, hurrying up to school would be lovely.
>> No. 89007
It bugs me as well...
It feels like Satori is simply giving in too fast. Like she just wants to be Hibiki's sex toy more often than not, and that Hibiki is (Note, this is also the voter's fault) taking advantage of Satori's easily stimulated nature.
They've known each other for a little less than two whole days, yet want to jump in each other's pants already. I mean, this last update, she was about ready to take Hibiki inside herself. Mind-reader or no, I don't think anyone is that easily aroused.

I might revise this when I put more thought into it, but the whole thing between those two feels... I dunno, forced?
>> No. 89009
>>89004
>Personally I really want to get to school and see the newer or unexplored things
On this note, I'd like to reiterate my comment;
>It's been what, twenty threads since we were last in school?
Considering how you opened up this story saying it was "romancing Touhous to a light plot" or something along those lines, taking TWENTY threads to cover the events of one night is just ridiculous. How many threads were spent conversing with Sigma, which took a total in-world time of under 5 minutes?

Going on a bit of a tangent here, but you've always just seemed too willing to write. You present Anon with choices A, B, C, and D, and they choose ABDEF. And you write it. It was somewhat justified during the Sigma phases, since it took so little in-world time, but seriously; if you ask Anon which they would like to hear about, Yukari, Oni, your past, whatever, and allow them to pick and choose as many as they want, why WOULDN'T they pick ALL of them? So why bother asking? I do enjoy your works, but the pacing really suffers.
>> No. 89010
>>89007

Expand. Discuss. Please. I believe this is why I was having trouble writing the H scene and in fact the problem that I've been having with the story in general that has been slowing it down, mainly due to lack of planning. People, chip in.

Potential retcon incoming
>> No. 89011
>>89009

Mm, this too, thank you. The story seems to have become something a little different, is that okay with everybody?

But yes, I need to remember why I had Flandre crashing into the room pretending to be a dragon in SDM (and not just for the sheer cuteness of it either). I've not been 'prodding' the action forward enough, I think?
>> No. 89012
IMO, there's been way too much filler, not enough plot.

The last few threads have been mostly just Hibiki thinking about something sexual and Satori reacting to it. It's getting a bit boring really.
>> No. 89013
>>89004
>Like she just wants to be Hibiki's sex toy

This, combined with the fact that nobody, in-story out out, seems to disapprove of this in the slightest disgusts me.

"Forced" barely covers it. HY, this is probably one of the most hamfisted attempts at writing a romantic relationship I've seen on these boards.

You were trying to do what Patchwork does with the rampant sex, weren't you?

>Potential retcon incoming
I have no qualms whatsoever with this.
>> No. 89014
>>89013

Hrm. Partly. More because I haven't been paying a great deal of attention to what I've been Godammed well writing for about the last 6 weeks. There's no excuse really. I can pinpoint the moment the story started to go wrong and I think some ret-conning back to that point is just what it needs.

No wonder the H scene took days to write.
>> No. 89015
I don't find any problem with the pace of the story, nor Satori's relationship with Hibiki. Then again, I'm weird like that. I think the story's been going along great, basically.
>> No. 89016
>>89014
>I can pinpoint the moment the story started to go wrong
Do share, I'm curious as to how far back you think that is
>> No. 89017
>>89016
The scene in the room with Satori, when Orin turned up. A number of real-life problems started an awful lot of stress for me then, and are only just ending now. I've not been paying a lot of attention to my writing, to be honest.

Don't get me wrong, most of the stuff between then and now is fine, but some material needs heavily editing/cutting. I won't simply return the story to that point, I will re-write it first.
>> No. 89019
File 124581556947.jpg - (99.36KB , 481x688 , 0bb837741977807844aff3355bebe940.jpg ) [iqdb]
89019
Never considered a retcon before. Strange feeling coming over me ...
>> No. 89020
The sex scene didn't bother me much, mostly because I didn't assume that Hibiki and Satori were getting into a serious romantic relationship. I'll say this, HY: if you were attempting to write some sort of romantic relationship, you did it poorly. As a friends-with-benefits scenario, it's much more believable under the circumstances.

But then, some people complain about how I handled sex in my own story. What can I say? Different people view sex differently. You can't please everyone all of the time.

At any rate, we could probably give you more advice if we had a firm grasp on your intentions with the story so far. For that matter, I'd like to hear a more detailed explanation from you of what you felt you did badly - we can definitely give you some feedback on those bits, at least.
>> No. 89021
>>89001
I agree on this
>I'd like to interact with more characters.
>And bring Sigma back.
>>89006
>>89007
and
>>89012
summed it up pretty much. This needs more plot and a direction that it is going towards. More characters
>romancing Touhous to a light plot
i thought okay at first, hitting on Touhous and having fun, but then you created an interesting story with fighting and riddles etc.
Now i want to know more about it and have the romancing more in the background. Plus, we got too fast in the Satori only route locked in without a chance to get to know later coming characters more.
>> No. 89023
What bugs me the most is that people seem to think that the relationship with Satorin is actually serious. To me it seems more like a one night stand than anything.
>> No. 89024
Pretty much what I'm hearing is this:
1) Satori seemed a bit forced. This was a combination of writer bias, lack of difficulty, and voters going heads-over-heels for her then shallowly getting bored. Even if it is an open relationship, people are wanting to focus on other girls now.
2) Want to get back to the suspense-action feeling. The "oh god what is this, who are you, can I trust you?" stuff.
3) Want to get back to Sanae, Tewi, Mokou-Kaguya, and even Sigma.
4) Want to get back to Fightan Gamez.
5) Want to avoid these minor events which feel somewhat like mini games and are delaying the main story.

Suggestion: Retcon back to walking Satori home in the morning, but do not enter. Head back to house and change/shower.
>> No. 89028
WE'VE GONE TOO LONG WITHOUT PUNCHING SOMETHING! I'M GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWAL!
>> No. 89032
>>89019
Personally, HY, I think the best way to fix the story is to get rid of the drooling retards that comprise most of your fanbase.
>> No. 89039
>>89032

So delete Touhouproject.com?
>> No. 89040
>>89024

I think this would be the best method that doesn't involved retcon.

A little rewind. With the naughty writing still fresh in our minds as a bonus.
>> No. 89041
no, the pacing is fine.

I think the problem is with expectation management. what kind of story is Anon expecting?

If it's one-girl, one-route, one-playthrough, then yeah, it happened too fast. but then again, I hate Keyaids. I'm sure I'm not the only one that hates Keyaids. Also, note that in all likelihood, we won't get another playthrough. Or maybe we do get a second, but we almost certainly aren't getting a third. Think back to that SDM story.

As a light-hearted sex-romp-through-touhouworld sort of deal, the pacing is just fine. You can't invest too much screentime on each character because there are hard, real-world limits to how far you can stretch the story and still keep reader/writefag interest, and you don't want to get all top-heavy and go out with a whimper.

so the question is, which style are we going for here? Key Studio or, say, SQUEEZ?
>> No. 89042
>>89040

Works for me.
>> No. 89043
>>89040
I vote no. note that rewinding takes writefag manhours. Manhours better spent getting us to the next part of the story.
>> No. 89044
>>89041
samefag continuing.

there's a sliding scale here. do we want Key style heavy angsty romance with a missionary-position sex-scene right before the credits roll? or do we want light-hearted sex-romp and harem ending?

Before you decide, I would like to point out that my preferred end has a distinctly higher chance of threesomes.
>> No. 89047
>>89020
Thank you Patchwork. What do I feel I've done badly? Three things.

1: The handling of the relationship (whatever it is) between Satori and Hibiki. Which combines with 2: The handling of Satori's character in general. At first Satori was far more potentially creepier, her motives not generally known. Whatever she was doing was also sort of cute to watch, but it didn't need to imply sexual interest in Hibiki. Until the scene in the room in the hideout. At that point I simply got very lazy and started writing dere-dere Satori and seemed to relegate the mind-reading powers to a writing device that allowed Satori to pick up on Hibiki's dirty thoughts. Not good, no excuse, down to me.

So, I haven't been paying attention to the dynamic between Satori and Hibiki at all. I'm half-writing a Satori route, but also like many of the comments here I want to spend some time focusing on other characters because they're interesting. The two parts got confused and I think I wrote a 'romantically intended' scene in the place of something that should have been more clearly casual.

And that's the problem. IPF is not meant to be porn and because I wasn't paying attention to the pacing and plot, I was thinking in terms of "getting the H scene out of the way" so I could get back to the plot and general shenanigans. This is bad and I should feel bad. And it leads into-

3: Pacing. My pacing is all over the place and very bad. Again, mostly because of real-life getting in the way and me resorting to pumping out updates without paying a great deal of attention to where they're going. The entire Goddamn story from going to sleep in the hideout to school this morning should have been summed up in one update. More specifically:

This post. This entire update could (and should) be a single fucking line. "Satori's been gone a long time." There should not be all this filler. I need to get my writing style back into shape and actually hurry things along when they need to be.

>>89032
That's all fine and dandy but actually this is my fault, not that of the audience. I changed Satori because I was lazy and stressed and ended up losing sight of where the story was going. Please, do not start a shitstorm. I like being able to ask for genuine critique! However many problems this format might have, I still write here because I enjoy it. Unlike ADP, this story has quite a clear fix that I'm carrying out in one way or another.
>> No. 89048
>>89047

This is why you're my favorite writer here.
>> No. 89060
>>89047
I can agree with point 2, and by extension point 1, but I've never noticed any problems with pacing, at least on the scale of individual updates. Maybe you're saying that you should have skipped scenes entirely, which is your decision as the guy who knows where the story is going and therefore what details are important, but even rereading the past ten threads or so, there's never a point where I think "Why are we still talking to this person?", and I don't feel compelled to skim past descriptions of scenery or internal monologues. If you say there's a problem, I'll believe it, but be careful not to be too hard on yourself.
>> No. 89061
Well, I just read through this from thread 5, and it seems pretty great. Keep up the good work!

Also, this may be slightly off topic, but is it just me or do the links to threads 1-4 in the archives not work (hence the starting from thread 5)? I've kind of picked up on what happened, but it'd be nice to be able to read for myself.
>> No. 89063
>>89047

I agree on points 1 and 2.

On point 1, I have made my opinion known on that and due to others expanding on it, have little else to say on the matter.

Point 2:
Satori never struck me as creepy to begin with, even less so when she actually explained herself. Before you went into the downward spiral, I saw nothing wrong.

You passed the 'creepy yet cute' on to Koishi in a way. I don't have any particular problem with that. Due to the fact her mind is messed up and unreadable, I expect her to be a little off.

Now point 3:
Look at your earlier threads. See the pacing there? That wasn't bad at all.
In fact, your pacing was great right up till a little after you got to Satori's house.
There was a lot of stuff to cover, and you covered it.

Next, it is partially your fault, but it is also the voters fault as well.
You started down this path, but did anyone counter it with votes? No, they wanted the H-scene stuff, and voted that way instead of voting to try and help get you back on track.
>> No. 89066
See? This is why HY is good. When something goes bad, he analyze what's wrong and try to improve.
>> No. 89067
>>89066

Other writefags do that, but they don't get any praise for it.
>> No. 89068
>>89067
you sound just like YAF
>> No. 89069
>>89067
>>89068

YAF's improvements is becoming more stagnant.
Secondly AM I AN ARTIST YET?
Lastly, HY's writing ability is overrated but atleast he updates more frequently then the norm
>> No. 89070
>>89068

That doesn't make him wrong, you know.
>> No. 89071
>>89047

I'm not sure how much of a help I can be, but I'll try.

On points 1&2: I'm going to have to agree with the others that Satori was never particularly creepy. A little strange at first, perhaps, but never unsettling; she was always quite cute. Either way, I think it might help you get a firmer grasp on her character if you do something to ensure that she and Hibiki don't monopolize eachother's time; show the plans she makes with the other characters from time to time, and it will give you a chance to display other sides of her character, as well as explore the other characters involved.

Other than that, you seem to have sorted out what you feel is the central source of your problems, and that's always a good thing. If it comes down to attitude and focus, then it's all about getting yourself in the right state of mind; of course, that's easier said than done. If you have some time to cool off before writing, it helps a ton.

On point 3: Ouch. Pacing is always tough, and to be honest, this format of writing doesn't help. It isn't easy to tell whether or not you've mucked up pacing until after the fact, and unlike writing a novel, you don't have the luxury of finishing the whole story before going back and tearing it all apart to write the second draft. Something to remember is that you are not obligated to pump out token updates; if you're too stressed to think straight, take the time to sit down and chill out for a while, and it will help immensely. If you're unsure about the pacing of a particular scene, go back and read the last few updates before going ahead with the newest one.

It seems to me that the very nature of this story is going to force some pacing worries onto you. You had this setup at first as though it were a lighthearted story, with a deeper more involved plot that was mostly in the background; the problem is that it's going to be tough to balance each segment. The calmer daytime portions of the story will naturally be suited to faster movement than the plot-heavy night segments. At some point you may be forced to make a choice between them, either slowing down the plot progression at night by dividing events among more nights than before and running the risk of bad pacing there, or speeding up the progression of nights and running the risk of making the days seem trivial in comparison. You may have a solution to this, but you should bear it in mind all the same.

Looking at your own feelings on all this, I think the most important thing for you to remember is that writing shouldn't be a responsibility so much as it should be a release. If you're not enjoying writing because of stress, it's more important to let yourself unwind than it is to pound something forced out.
>> No. 89072
>>89068

But it's true. I hate to say it, but only HY would get praise for this, because of who he is. It's a sad fact.
>> No. 89074
>>89067

Where in my post did I say that only HY did that? I just said that about HY because this is HY's thread. If it were, say, YAF's Patchwork's thread, I would have said the same thing about Patchwork.

The motive I don't do this every time this happens is because I'm lazy.

Now, enough faggotry, let's not cause a shitstorm.
>> No. 89075
>>89072

More annoying is the fact that I'd felt the need to ask the Anons what they feel about how my owns stories are going, but felt that doing so would make it seem too much like I was asking for attention. Now I just feel like people would think I'd by trying to be like HY.
>> No. 89077
>>89074

>YAF's
>Now, enough faggotry, let's not cause a shitstorm.

Uh huh.
>> No. 89078
>>89075

Just ask. Attempts at self-improvement, provided they are done in a proper manner, should never be avoided because of the possibility of crying out for attention or copying someone.

Besides, anyone who would say that is a troll, and probably wouldn't really be worth listening to.

Not to mention I've asked for feedback in my own story, and no one's really called me out on it, so I doubt you would get any worse treatment.
>> No. 89081
>>89078

You give fair advice. Unfortunately, most aren't that willing to give criticism unless they are prompted or upset. Perhaps they think they'll just be branded as trolls?
>> No. 89082
>>89061
>threads 1-4 in the archives
Updated. Also the archives moved, check the sticky.

>>89075
Like he said, a lot of authors do that. The readers usually appreciate it, it shows you give a damn what they think of your story.
>> No. 89083
>>89082
Instead of having the sticky consist of two posts, wouldn't it be better to delete the current sticky and post again with the new URL?
>> No. 89084
Wow.
Authors who genuinly want advice would be considered crying out for attention or copying?
And voters who would want to help would be considered trolls?

I can't be the only one who thinks that's screwed up.
If anything, it should be encouraged as to avoid similar trainwrecks in the future, not curb stomped because someone had, pardon my language, a stick up their ass.
>> No. 89086
>>89084

It's just one or two anons stirring shit up and butting in when readers and writers are trying to help each other out.


As for IPF continuing, I suppose the writer will either continue on where the story left off, do what was suggested in >>89040 or retcon.

From easiest to hardest.
>> No. 89089
>>89084
>>89086

Hey, I was just suggesting a possible reason why people don't criticize much. I can't be the only one who remembers how sensitive people on /border/ were for a time (Understandable, though, given how much trolling went on there).
>> No. 89094
>>89089

Well, that was when "the best thing ever" was being insulted. It was a pretty sensitive time, and some people were really competitive about board dominance.
>> No. 89096
it's like this: it's the first time, so he get a free pass.

if this continues, especially if the pace of updates also slows, then after the third or fourth time shitstorms will be a-brewin'.
>> No. 89098
>>89096
This is a shitty attitude.
>> No. 89099
>>89098
my attitude has no impact on the truth value of my statement, which is distinctly positive.
>> No. 89101
Thanks for the input and the
>>89096
honesty. Yeah I know. Critique is important for any writing, but I don't want to let the story get too fucked up before noticing things. It's another reason I like this place, when I fuck up you people generally let me know.

Anyway, here's the deal. I'm going to go all EX-Keine on the story and see what I can fix. I also need a little break, because I am seriously exhausted. Real life kicking me in the balls for the last 6 weeks, etc. I'll be back with a re-write (rather than just a re-wind, not gonna make you replay all the same stuff) in about a week, take some time to put my feet up and sort my writing out.

tl;dr: Rumia is getting lessons from EX-Keine and will be back next week.
>> No. 89103
>>89101

You know, you could always start Pirates back up again. That was a good-natured romp with compelling characterizations.
>> No. 89104
>>89103
I might do just that!
>> No. 89106
>>89103
Stop giving him bad ideas.
>> No. 89107
>>89106
>bad ideas.

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
>> No. 89108
>>89104

hooray!
>> No. 89110
>>89104
Goddammit man. I want to like you here, but you've already got 2 CYOAs going and I've lost track of how many are on hiatus. A writefag divided cannot stand.
>> No. 89111
>>89104

Please don't. Pirates was good, but you seriously need to focus. That's your greates flaw HY, the only story you've ever finished is SDM LA and that's because it was the first one and the site was almost empty.

But now you've started too many now, far too many for you own good. IPF, ESD, ADPA, PiG, Yukkurism (Nope, I didn't forget), Demon Castle Remilia X...


Focus, damn it.
>> No. 89112
>>89111
This. This for fuck's sake. No new stories. Finish what you've started. Please. Bring either this, or one of the others to finish, possibly even by concentrating solely on it. I honestly don't care /which/ one of your stories you finish, as long as you don't do it.
>> No. 89113
Argle.

There will be no new stories until at least IPF, ADP and PoG are done. Part of what I was talking about in >>88997 was the realisation that I really need to finish these stories and do them justice. Chill. Give me a week to cool my heels and I'll focus.
>> No. 89114
>>89113
We will wait even 2 weeks if you come back as the old HY that we all love(not all, but 80% for sure)
>> No. 89115
>>89114
How old are we talking here? My writing is certainly different from the days of SDM, but I'm sure I can fix the pacing problems I've been having and make sure to focus. Not sure about Fist of the North Star update speed though, unless I'm making super-short updates.
>> No. 89117
>>89115

Hey as long as you keep writing quality, it's all chill bro.
>> No. 89120
I actually missed HY using his original name+tripcode.

>>89075
>More annoying is the fact that I'd felt the need to ask the Anons what they feel about how my owns stories are going, but felt that doing so would make it seem too much like I was asking for attention.

I can understand that, since some writers probably did that out of attention whoring.
>Now I just feel like people would think I'd by trying to be like HY.

And why the fuck is that a bad thing? You can be like him without being like him.

Also, update more EZMode. Vodka too, wherever he may be.
>> No. 89122
File 124598018767.gif - (479.41KB , 320x180 , Momi Wink.gif ) [iqdb]
89122
>>89120
>Vodka too, wherever he may be.

As much as I'd love that, dude's on hiatus. See >>87155.
>> No. 89124
>>89122

I know. It's just that it's been a long time already.
>> No. 89158
File 124614461899.jpg - (64.15KB , 272x800 , Teach your kitty to play gently.jpg ) [iqdb]
89158
When I stumbled across this image, I realized that it summed up this entire situation.
>> No. 89179
Experimental thoughts: this story became more plot than romance and so fourth. How would the readers feel about keeping the romance in (of course, it's a major part of the story) but not bothering with the H as a goal or having it at all and keeping the focus firmly on the plot?

Discuss, please.
>> No. 89182
I don't know... I kinda like the H, though to be fair there's only been one scene.

However, I'll still enjoy the story if there isn't.
>> No. 89183
>>89179
I'd honestly prefer it to have plenty of romancing, but no H.
>> No. 89184
Keep the romance, but make us have to work for the H.
>> No. 89185
I would keep the H. You could just give us an IOU when the scene comes along and then write it when you feel like it.
>> No. 89187
Less plot (keep it rolling on the background most of the time, not absent), more romancing, and some H every now and then is fine with me.
>> No. 89188
>>89179

I don't know...I thought things were fine the way they were, until all this shit happened.
>> No. 89189
I myself don't care about H. At all. Most of the time I just skip it when reading. Romance is important but H is not necessary.
>> No. 89190
>>89179

I'd personally prefer to keep the plot in the background, and focus on the romancing aspect. I won't complain as long as Hibiki gets some action, even if you gloss it over and it isn't given in H scenes proper. He's an oni damn it, and if he doesn't have a working harem and a ton of casual sex by the end of this story, then we have failed.

Maybe just save one big H scene for the end, after everything else is out of the way.
>> No. 89191
H if it comes. It's not necessary.
>> No. 89193
Romance is a nice aspect of the story, but don't litter H around like it's candy and today is halloween, one or two scenes is more than enough. Also, keep the plot moving, you have a very interesting start here.
>> No. 89198
As someone has already said before, Onis should be all about women and booze. reducing frequency of h-scenes would require further retconning, probably.

here's an alternative solution, if the h-scenes are slowing down the story: shorter h-scenes. if every scene has to be the culmination of fifty posts of effort, then you'd feel obliged to make it into a gigantic update that takes two weeks to write. if it's just Hibiki sliding his hand up Satori's skirt for five minutes while being bored in class, though, it's probably doable in two to three paragraphs, and you can, in fact, litter it around like it's candy and today is halloween.
>> No. 89200
>>89198
But... but... but sex is a vile, disgusting act that you're supposed to save for the one you truly love!
>> No. 89201
Personally, I also don't care for the H scenes. If you build up to them and all of that, then fine, but don't just litter the story with them. Doing so ruins the story for some of us.
>> No. 89202
>>89201
complete dearth of casual sex save for the consensual sex in missionary position at the end of a long and keyaids-filled route right before the credit roll ruins the story for some of us, too.
>> No. 89203
Arglebalrgjehrgkjehrge

Must Pirates, urge too strong. Sit tight.
>> No. 89212
>>89202

Way to overreact. I didn't say no H scenes, I just said that the current ones didn't work very well. If you just want H out of a story, then read something like Wanko to Kurasou.
>> No. 89213
File 124620980086.jpg - (86.54KB , 1200x813 , fuckyes.jpg ) [iqdb]
89213
>>89203

Awesome
>> No. 89216
>>89198
I agree with this.
>> No. 89253
>>89212
>one or two scenes is more than enough

>one h-scene is enough

>complete dearth of casual sex save for the consensual sex in missionary position at the end of a long and keyaids-filled route right before the credit roll

oh, I think my description is adequate.

also, Wanko sucked. Well, not sucked so much as several years out of date. I currently recommend the two 彼女×彼女×彼女 games by ωstar.

but hey, if you want VNs too close to True Art to do something as crass as flash nekkid boobies every three minutes, I heard Key has that market cornered.
>> No. 89254
>>89253
You are a tremendous cunt.

Hyperbole and overreacting don't make your arguments look logical, they make you look like an idiot.
>> No. 89255
>>89253

I didn't even say that, you fucking wet end. Check the post again before you complain.

Also, learn to use capitalization while on the boards. The current way you're typing is atrocious.
>> No. 89290
>>89254

>You are a tremendous cunt.

>Hyperbole and overreacting don't make your arguments look logical, they make you look like an idiot.

I was going to say something, but I believe you've already said it better than I possibly can. also lol uncapitalized sentence.
>> No. 89291
An idiot stirring up shit in one of HY's threads? Surely this is an unprecedented event.
>> No. 89313
>>89291
The trolls are fagging up the thread warmly.
>> No. 89375
>>89203
how about you forget about the bloody pirates and fix/finish this one first?
>> No. 89529
>>89375

Pirates came first. Pirates doesn't need retconning. Pirates didn't spawn this kind of faggotry, either.
>> No. 89583
>>89529

Even after YAF started posting...
Yeah, it was pretty un-shitstormy.
>> No. 89584
>>89529

Pirates also didn't spawn 25 theads. It just never had the chance for shit to happen.
>> No. 89739
IRC faggotry and real-life messes aside, expect something starting up by this time tomorrow.