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82795 No. 82795
The story so far.

After Beating his record for masturbating. Commodore Perry sets off to search for the OOOOO and to defeat the aliens. After causing a chemical explosion in a hidden biological weapons facility, Commodore Perry rides a small girl to the sky where he meets his first ally, The Brocloud. He Brofisted said cloud with the force of ASCII and lands in some water by making a crater on the surface. He forded the river, Losing ten oxen and a SurfGirl. He engages in a one sided battle against a busty boat woman, stacked against him. But with the might of the now deceased Brocloud and his ASCII power, he wins and sets off in her boat.

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You wake up on a boat, What the fuck are you going to do now?

[]

>> No. 82796
File 123883328160.jpg - (576.56KB , 1110x1000 , Konngara.jpg ) [iqdb]
82796
[x] Ride that boat into the very bowels of hell.
>> No. 82797
[X] Fashion an ASCII boat motor to drive the boat, and ride to where the sun sets. There you will find a village. Pillage, plunder, and burn all that you find.
>> No. 82798
[X] Fashion an ASCII boat motor to drive the boat, and ride to where the sun sets. There you will find a village. Pillage, plunder, and burn all that you find.
>> No. 82799
[X] Fashion an ASCII boat motor to drive the boat, and ride to where the sun sets. There you will find a village. Pillage, plunder, and burn all that you find.

pillage, plunder, burn, i like this style
>> No. 82800
You stand up. What were you thinking! Falling asleep like that. You got a job to do!

Looking around, you spot the sun on the horizon and if the sun is on the horizon, It must be landing somewhere! You adjust your course ad head west.

You soon get tired of paddling so you decide to create an engine out of ASCII and put it on the back of your boat. You speed forwards using many litres of brown coloured ellipses. Hold on, Since when could you effect the colour? It needs not asking for now.

You eventually arrive at a small port. You ready your fist to open the port but only to find it already open. What! You are the only port opener here! You race forward to find the culprit and close his port for good.

You look around the town. The Port opening Bastard must be here somewhere. You turn to the local brothel and punch it with an ASCII fist. It falls over in an incredibly manly fashion and a bunch of young girls flutter away from it.

Another bottle of port rolls out from the wreckage. You take a swig from it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6jqaA_jeZ8

You look around. The place is on fire by your own hand. Your boat is full of trading goods and other pillaged items. There are a few lone survivors cowering in the streets, They are all female with oddly coloured and shaped hair.

[]

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To those saying that this is too crazy. I only write as people vote.
>> No. 82801
[x] Raep... er.. Open the port of that green-haired lady with a frog and snake ornament on her head.
[x] Shoot ASCII all over the place and proceed to open any and all ports, male and female.
[x] Build an ASCII memorial in honor of Brocloud.
>> No. 82802
[x] Raep... er.. Open the port of that green-haired lady with a frog and snake ornament on her head.
[x] Shoot ASCII all over the place and proceed to open any and all ports, male and female.
[x] Build an ASCII memorial in honor of Brocloud.
>> No. 82803
[x] Rape... er.. Open the port of that green-haired lady with a frog and snake ornament on her head.
[x] Shoot ASCII semen all over the place and proceed to open any and all ports, male and female.
[x] Build an ASCII memorial in honor of Brocloud.
>> No. 82809
Guys, I hope you realize:

Sooner or later, we have to have a fiery apocalyptic clash with Yukari in order open all the boundaries of the world.

ALL OF THEM.
>> No. 82834
[x] Raep... er.. Open the port of that green-haired lady with a frog and snake ornament on her head.
[x] Shoot ASCII all over the place and proceed to open any and all ports, male and female.
[x] Build an ASCII memorial in honor of Brocloud.
>> No. 82859
Suddenly, A lump of scrolling text Appears in front of you. It reads

"[x] Raep... er.. Open the port of that green-haired lady with a frog and snake ornament on her head.
[x] Shoot ASCII all over the place and proceed to open any and all ports, male and female.
[x] Build an ASCII memorial in honor of Brocloud."

You stare briefly at it in awe. This must be a Divine message from the OOOOO! You decide to follow it to the letter.

You start off on the first order. Hmmm.... What does raep mean? Beside it says to open the ports of that blue dressed green haired Frog fetishist. Well you opened the ports of that previous woman, so it must mean reap! You prepare to kill the woman.

You shout out to her to get her attention, No response, you try again. Nothing. You shoot an ASCII 0 at her. She jumps in fright, tears dropping to the ground. You have her attention
now.

The stopwatch in your pocket gives off a chime. That means IT'S ASSKICKING PERRRRRRRY TIME!

"S-S-Stop this destruction... Please" She says, NO ONE TELLS THE MOTHERFUCKING COMMODORE WHAT TO DO WOMAN.

You leap at her, Only to fall short about five metres or so. You leap again and catchup to her before she even had the time to flinch.

What this woman needs is some beatings, You Summon up many miniature ASCII Fists and begin Punching her in rapid concession. A thought arises in your mind.

"Hmm.. Well, This Port looks pretty normal to me, I wonder what all the fuss is abou-

HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING OPEN.

OH MY GOD I'M LIKE THE MOTHER FIST OF THE NORTH STAR JESUS CHRIST.

FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST CLOUD EVER!"

By the time you finish, the girl is covered in bruises and standing around, dazed. You stop punching. A tear falls from her eye.

"W-Why..."

Why? You assume she asks why you stopped hitting her, For that you don't have an honest answer, So you decide to quote a classic line instead.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

You charge up your none drill fist, ASCII radiates off of it. You let it fly at the womans jaw in a uppercut which knocks her 50ft in the air. You ready a kick as she comes down.

"COMMODORE KICK!"

She is sent flying at the force of your manuver. Higher and higher until you can't see her anymore.

You look around to see if there are more people for you to open. But they all fled whilst you were being awesome. Never matter you can still continue with your plan,

You fashion a large bomb out of ASCII And set the timer for five minutes. You rush away outside the village as the bomb goes off.

The blast converts everything into ASCII, Which quickly rearranges itself to become a manly statue of the mighty BroCloud. You salute the statue, and turn around to set off in search of the OOOOO.

You look at your feet, a hairpin belonging to the girl from earlier is at your feet. You pick it up. this is surely a Piece of the OOOOO! You pocket it.


[]

Inventory:
One Drill arm
ASCII Power minus one e
A full bottle of port.
Two pieces of the OOOOO (Coin and Pin)

>>82809
For this ending, you must have all of Gensokyo hating you as well as every piece of the OOOOO assembled.
>> No. 82860
[X] Rumba the hell out of there in a completely arbitrary direction.
>> No. 83145
[X] Rumba the hell out of there in a completely arbitrary direction.
>> No. 83157
[X] Rumba the hell out of there in a completely arbitrary direction.
>> No. 83158
[X] Rumba the hell out of there in a completely arbitrary direction.

Whoever it was that wrote the first reply with the whole "commodore perry" thing-
FUCKING GOOD JOB!
>> No. 83160
[X] Rumba the hell out of there in a completely arbitrary direction.
>> No. 83173
Your mission accomplished, You decide to get out of here as stylish as possible. And what better way to leave than rumba-ing yourself out? You get into a beat and leave the town behind, Heading in a random direction dictated by the beat~...

You stop at the gate of a large mansion. There is a chinese looking woman sleeping here.

[]

------------------
Meanwhile. Back at the village.

As the commotion outside dies down. Kiene Kamishirasawa opens the door of the shelter underneath a hill near the village. There the entire population of the village resides throughout disasters.

She gasps as she looks out to the wasteland that was once the village as well as the statue of the BroCloud.

"Where is our home mama?" Says one of the younger villagers.
"Those darn youkai burnt down the village!" Says an older one.
"You would have thought that they'd take longer ransacking the village before burning it down, they only had it for around 3 hours."


Back at the gate Commodore perry was contemplating how it only took him 15 minutes to arrive and leave the village.

Kiene turned to the crowd behind her.
"No!" She cries "This wasn't the work of those darn youkai. They were driven out!"
"Someone burnt down our village? Why?"
"Obviously it was an accident whilst they were being driven out. There is someone protecting the village! And I think it is that statue made out of lettering of that cloud over there!"

She rushes over to the statue.
"BroCloud..."She begins "IS OUR SAVIOR!"

The village people Cheer With the exception of one person. She falls to the ground crying.

"I-I-I couldn't save Tommy..." Her husband comforts her.
"Don't worry dear, I'm sure he's in a better place."
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Meanwhile, Kourin has a new pinball game set up in his store, Isn't that exciting?
________


Note: Some allies can prove your only hope against some enemies.
>> No. 83175
>>ASCII Power minus one e

WHAT.
This is unacceptable.

[e] Find your goddamn vowel alrea- Oh look, there it is! In that checkbox over there!
>> No. 83178
>>83173
lol the hell?
>> No. 83181
Our BroCloud is getting THE GODDAMN RESPECT HE DESERVES!
[X] Tie down the woman while she sleeps
[X] Wake her up after she's tied and inquiry her.
>> No. 83183
Changed my mind

[X] Good morning forehead crusher
>> No. 83192
[X] Enlist the woman's help, whether she wants to or not! Even for the great Commodore Perry, allies and subordinates are necessary!
[X] Then open the gates the gates the only way you know how!
>> No. 83201
[x] Wake the woman up.
[x] "Hi, Commodore Perry here with some fine leather jackets. Have you ever wanted to look like a biker? How about an 80's era punk? Do you just look good in leather? For a limited time, I am offering up for sale several fine leather jackets. Easy to wear and guaranteed to fit any torso or your money back. If you call now, we will throw in three complimentary ShamWow's, perfect for cleaning up nasty liquid spills in the home or garage. You'll be saying Wow every time. I guarantee it."
[x] Open the gate.
>> No. 83206
>>[x] Open the gate.

WOW.
How the hell did we forget about this?
That wasn't in our character at all!

[x] Open the gate. NOW.
>> No. 83241
[x] Screech like a monkey until she wakes up.
[x] Headbash her until her skull looks like a pancake, then pocket her eyeballs.
[x] That mansion, it must be stormed upon.
>> No. 91514
You will not stand being forgotten!

[X] Good morning forehead crusher