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163582 No. 163582
Thread 20 >>156003
Thread 21 >>158673
Thread 22 >>160720


In which I actually fucking update holy shit.



[X] Yuyuko’s the expert. We should report what Youmu couldn’t and really run this to ground, now. And reunite with Cirno and the Celestial, as well.

Against the vaulting pillars of clouds the black Gates of the Netherworld stand starkly, their inky ebony hue easy to see from many miles distant. The gates loom higher as you draw near, drifting evanescent eddies of shadowstuff in the glossy black wood seeming to mirror the wisps of cloud swirling about it.

You and Keine stand motionless for long quiet seconds, staring up at the towering gates to the ghost realm.

"Sooo spooky~" you declare, wiggling your splayed fingers dramatically as you step forward. "The first time, I guess." Hands in pockets, you drift towards the Gates.

Their black bulk sweeps through the cloudwisps as they swell towards you.

You jerk back violently, somersaulting in midair and ending up on your back. Your usual panicked scuttle doesn't work while flying, but you manage to flail your way into a kind of spastic backstroke. Your head bumps against Keine's shins just as the Gates cease advancing - and widen. Swinging wide on silent hinges, the glossy black wood is so alike the shadowy veil within that you can only distinguish the doors when they swing out, silhouetted against the clouds. Instead of opening gates, it seems a titanic shadow spreading its wings.

The Gates open completely, and from within the shadowy veil a voice moans with sepulchral tone:

"YOOOOUU~ AAAREE~ EEEXPEEECTEEEED."

"Oooh... spooky!" Keine says brightly. You glower back at her grin as she helps you up.

A ghosty head pops through the veil. "Sorry about that. The veil messes with my voice."

Karma, always looping 'round to bite you before you ever see it coming, like a boomerang-shaped fae. The ghost (one of Yuyuko's assistants) escorts you through the brilliant light and brooding shadows of the Netherworld. Afore long you espy Hakugyokurou, its long wooden walls somber and solid against the surreal landscape. Your guide leads you straight through the estate, cutting across flowerbeds and through storage rooms as you and Keine hustle to keep pace.

You're nearly short of breath when the spirit ushers you into a sizable, barren room that contains Yuyuko Saigyouji, Yuyuko Saigyouji's dangerously flat expression and nothing else.

"Keine Kamishirasawa, teacher and historian, and her companion, the foreign Magician," the spirit states formally. He bows deeply to Yuyuko, snaps upright, and gets the hell out.

Yuyuko stands stock-still, her voluminous sleeves joined before her. Her lovely maroon eyes bore into you as you fidget uncomfortably.

"Hey," you say.

Yuyuko's eyelashes lower ever so slightly as her glare intensifies to skewering.

"Hoooow's the weather?" you attempt.

"Eternal and unchanging," Yuyuko says, clipping the words so crisply you can almost hear the little tocks! as they fall to the floor between you.

You evaluate her words, read the atmosphere, and turn to Keine. "I think she's pissed!" you inform her.

"He can think!?" Yuyuko says to Keine with airy suprise. "Well done. You should have taught him to speak before working on 'fetch,' however."

"You need a refresher course in playing dead, yourself," you snap back.

Ghosts are known to cause cold spots, but the sudden chill in the air is notable nonetheless. "You're like anpan in the oven," Yuyuko says, her voice thin. "When the heat's on, you get all puffed up - with hot air, mostly."

Keine discreetly trods on your foot before you can reply. "Lady Saigyouji, we don't have time for this," Keine pleads. "We're sorry our notice was abrupt, but-"

"Abrupt?" Yuyuko marvels. "Abrupt? You had warning my beloved servant and charge is fated to die, and you not only keep silent, but send your lackey to inform me when you deem I should know?"

"Hi!" you reply brightly. "I'm Nobody McForeigner and I want your help - oh, and I had a prophetic vision of somebody important to you, gee what are the odds? Where I come from, that's the one 'hello' that guarantees a 'goodbye' involving a chicken impersonation.”

Yuyuko's eyes blaze with eldritch incandescence as she replies, softly: "Any fool can see Gensokyo harbors the mystical and marvelous, and Magicians are no fools."

"Then why the hell would I trust you?" you reply flatly.

Yuyuko's tight-pressed lips part in surprise.

"Attacked by ghosts? You were my first suspect. If your goal was to bring me close – to trust you - what better way to send me scampering to a ghost expert then a ghost attack?" You cross your arms resolutely. "We sent that missive about five minutes after ruling you out as the culprit."

Yuyuko's eyes dim to their usual lovely hue. "I... understand," she says, her tight expression slipping. "But - a discreet hint, surely -”

"Yuyuko," Keine interjects gently. "The prophecy came to him in a dream. That's... personal. Intensely so. He didn't even tell me; I had to drag it out of him."

"When?" Yuyuko queries.

Keine stiffens slightly. “I-”

“Ah,” Yuyuko says, looking thoughtful. Your eyes meet, and you feel yourself falling into her limpid maroon gaze. “Keeping secrets is what friends do,” she says, her expression softening sadly. “Dragon knows... I’ve kept many.”

Her gaze drops from yours. “Well. What brings you here, so close on the heels of your messenger?”

“New discoveries,” Keine says. “We’re close to solving our mystery.”

“Excellent!” Yuyuko says, smiling brightly at you both. “Thinking is always easier on a full stomach – why don’t I set out something?”

Keine smiles back. “That’d be lovely. I’ll find everyone and meet you shortly.”

Yuyuko claps her hands. “Splendid! See you~” She slips out the door, looking positively bubbly.

Teatime?” you gripe. “From wraith-regent to hostess in no time flat? We’re this close to answers. I know 'urgency' is a foreign concept to all the longcat lifespans running around here, but god damn.

“... longcat!?” Keine repeats, giving you a strange look. “What possible idiom could-”

“Allusion,” you correct her. “Literally a species of incredibly long cat. Some nobles drape them around their necks like fancy purring scarves.”

Keine shakes her head. “The context your language developed in is bizarre.”

“Wait till you hear about flat-bears.”

Keine shakes her head, firmly closing that line of conversation. “So you really think Yuyuko is just hungry?”

You plot that question’s speed and heading. “Of course not.”

She gives you lidded-eye skepticism. “So why the tea?”

“.... because she’s thirsty?” you try gamely.

Keine crosses her arms, tilts her head, and gives you some max-power Exasperation. “She’s giving everyone time to calm after that confrontation. And to get our thoughts in order before we talk.”

You snort. “And now I feel stupid and you’re thinking about flat-bears. So much for that.”

“I am not,” Keine objects.

“Liar.”

Keine spins on her heel and stalks for the door. “We have people to find.”

You follow her long, purposeful strides through the hallways and byways of Hakugyokurou, peeking through doorways as you pass them. Keine doesn’t. “You seem to know your way around?” you ask.

“I’ve a very good memory,” she replies. “You said Youmu was shopping earlier, so I’m looking for the kitchen. Traditional-style mansions like this, that should be... ah.” She leads you into a huge kitchen, harboring several counters and two big wood-stoves. Muted conversation drifts through an open doorway across the room. “And that,” Keine says, “must be the pantry.” Tugging you along, she steals towards the door.

As you approach, Youmu’s voice becomes recognizable. “Thank you again. I hate balancing on that ladder.”

“It is my pleasure,” you hear Duke’s familiar deep tones. Peeking around the jamb, you find Duke stowing cans, three at a time, on the top shelf of a large walk-in pantry.

“I wish I was taller,” Youmu says sadly from her seat on a footstool. “My technique is improving, but my reach is so poor. Especially since youkai always carry those stupidly huge swords.”

“Like this one?” Duke asks, indicating his greatsword in his back-scabbard.

“Oh no!” Youmu says quickly. “They’re much bigger then that. You could toast a sub-sandwich on them. Yours looks much faster. Still too big for me, though.”

“This is a standard-weight blade, for a human,” Duke tells her.

“Eh? Really?” Youmu says, leaning forward to examine the blade. “But it’d be so slow!”

“Only swings,” Duke says. “Small, quick jabs with precise point control is the key to dueling with this weapon.”

Youmu props a chin in her hand, curious. “I’ve never heard of a style like that.”

“I could show you, if you want.”

You knock on the wall politely. “Hey.”

“Ah! You!” Duke says, pleased.

“Oh, you,” Youmu mutters.

“We got the ghost by the sheets,” you tell them. “We’re meeting Yu-”

Youmu shoots you a glare.

“Sorry. I mean Ghost-Geisha-” you snap your head back as a can ricochets off the doorjamb.

”LADY! LADY!” Youmu snarls.

Keine steps into the doorway. Another can snaps through the air with impressive velocity – and slaps into Keine’s palm.

“We’re meeting Lady Yuyuko for tea, to talk it over.” Keine says calmly, gently tossing the can back. “If you don’t mind.”

Youmu emerges, glowering at you.

“I’ll finish this, and be along shortly,” Duke says.

Thank you, Duke,” Youmu says warmly, giving you an icy glare.

“Uh, where’s Cirno?”

“Entertaining herself,” Youmu says crisply as she stomps away.

“Hold up!” you call, giving chase. Youmu exits the kitchen and barrels down the hall, ignoring you.

“Youmu-”

“Stuff it up your hat,” she snaps.

Oh no she did not. You snap your fingers at the floor before her and bark a sharp word of magic. Youmu’s next stompy footfall slams into the polished wood floor and shoots forward.

YIIPE!” she screams as executes a full backflip, landing on her back and sliding down the hallway a bit with a drawn-out squee-ee-ee-ek!

With a gentle push-off from the wall, you glide over to the prone gardener. You lean to look down at her. “Thank you for waiting.” You glance over your shoulder, and find no Keine in the hallway. Gods bless her. You dismiss your Grease spell with a wave, and offer your hand to Youmu. She grasps your palm firmly, hoists herself up and drives her knee towards your balls in almost one motion.

You’re already twisting your hips as she moves, taking the blow on your thigh. “Need to talk to you.”

She jerks her hand out of yours violently and crosses her arms, glowering at you. “What.

“Did Yuyuko tell you about Duke's message?”

Youmu's glare slips. “Why would she?”

“It involved you. And your safety.”

Youmu's face clouds, her deader half orbiting her slowly. “My mistress has her reasons, I suppose,” she says, and her face falls. “But I've given up trying to understand them.”

“You live with her,” you say, surprised. And venturing a guess at a 'half-ghosts' lifespan, for a long time, too; and Youmu's not stupid.

“That doesn't mean I know her,” Youmu replies. “Not deeply. Or anything else, for that matter. I don't know what's going on around me, even when I'm actively involved in it. I don't know why my Master left, with my training incomplete. I think its a final lesson, but am I succeeding, or failing?” Youmu's hands have found her sword-hilts, gripping and twisting on the woven leather. “I don't know why my lady neglects my education in things I ought to know, about my weapons, about myself. I'm... I'm not even sure where half-ghosts go when they die. Is there even a place for me?”

You stand stunned as your mental image of Miss NoFunAllowed implodicates and takes your brain with it. You've dealt with Women before - but there's no windows nearby, Teleport can't cross planar boundaries and there's nothing readily flammable at hand. Oh comfort zone, where art thou?

And quite suddenly, it clicks. You're outside it. You're an outsider, temporary, without significance, the one person she can confide in without fear. Your breast swells with sympathy as you rejoice in finally understanding a Woman well enough to help her.

“Youmu, who gives a shit?”

And theory gets mugged by application.

“Where I come from, heroes can't be arsed to stay dead; their friends bag'n'drag to a church and fork over shinies to a cleric, and he cranks their mortal coil with holy energy till it turns over. Bam, back in the saddle.”

Youmu's blinks as her ghosty-half freezes mid-orbit. “Then why doesn't everyone-”

“River Styx – Sanzu – same thing. Cross over, forget stuff. Except the strong-willed, the heroes, the fighters, they don't. Reincarnation spells can only call back souls wishing to go; and only souls strong-willed enough to remember can have desire at all.”

“...oh,” Youmu says, muted.

“Point is, your place is anywhere you damn well want to be,” you tell her.

“And if you don't know?”

“If only there was a place for people like that,” you say, stroking your chin. “Now where could it-” you glance left-right-left with faux surprise. “Oh, wait.”

Youmu doesn't quite smile, but Myon does cease his pensive laps. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Damn straight.”

Youmu does smile this time, her blue eyes brightening.

“And Youmu?”

“Yes?”

“Try not to leave the Netherworld, at least for a few days.”

She frowns. “Why?”

And this is why wizards have a reputation for being irritable jackasses who hate giving straight answers: because the straight answers typically involve “prophetic vision,” “dying in my arms” and other phrases of especial social misfortune for men who live in secluded towers, wear identity-concealing clothing, and collect bat guano.

“Because I thought it was a good idea,” Keine says pleasantly.

You and Youmu both twitch involuntarily and fall against the wall as your hearts find their tempo again. “Sumbitch, how did you do that?” you gasp, staring at the schoolteacher, who's standing right beside you.

“Lots of practice,” Keine says innocently.

“She does that in class,” Youmu murmurs. “She finds somebody writing a note or cheating on a test and she just looms over them till they notice the shadow.”

You glance warily at Keine, who smiles at you sweetly. “I give them a second to anticipate before I reprimand them.”

You imagine staring up at Keine in Teacher Modo, the split-second of horror before the headbutt falls-

“We're close to our culprit and he-” she pinches your cheek - “tends to catch himself in his own crossfire, so it'd be simpler and safer to limit the variables.” Keine's face becomes inscrutably neutral. “But if you think I'm wrong-”

“No! No!” Youmu says hurriedly.

“No questions?”

“We're late for tea!” Youmu cries, all but flying down the hall.

*****

Hakugyokurou's spacious dining room stretches before you, a large table loaded with Yuyuko's liberal interpretation of a 'snack.' The Ghost Princess is seated across from you, happily attacking a pudding while Youmu studies some tea to her right.

Keine nudges your elbow. “I knew you needed more breakfast.”

You inhale the second half of your jelly donut. “Just cleaning my plate,” you say primly. “Momma didn't raise no orc.”

“And enjoying it well,” Yuyuko says with real delight. “Food is the spice of afterlife. Or something like that.”

“My compliments to the cook,” you agree as you fall upon a hapless sweetbun.

“That'd be me,” Youmu says, looking up with quiet satisfaction.

“You did this on such short notice? I'm impressed,” Keine says.

“No, we always keep this on hand,” Youmu says. “For Yukari.”

“She likes to drop in, sometimes,” Yuyuko says.

“That's a word for it,” Youmu mutters darkly. “At least [i[he[/i] uses the front door,” she says, poking at you with her spoon, “even if he's kicking it in. Yukari manipulates boundaries and gaps, so she uses any one she pleases – the gap between my dresser and sock drawer, gaps in the noodle iron... gaps in the bathtub drain... while you're in it...” Youmu shudders, her shoulders hunched.

“Honestly,” Yuyuko chides her. “Yukari's been visiting like that your whole life. I'd think you used to it by now.” Holding a cookie in her mouth to free her hands, she raises her cup and feels for the teapot to her left.

“Ma'am,” Duke says politely, handing it to her.

Yuyuko emits a tiny squeak as she inhales her cookie.

“Oh dear,” Duke says as Yuyuko coughs and pounds her chest. “My apologies. I usually announce myself when I teleport.”

Youmu has vanished, and from somewhere beneath table-height comes the desperate wheezing of somebody giggling to death. Yuyuko catches her breath, face flushed. “Lets get down to business, then.” She bites her lip and studies the table as a fresh spate of helpless giggles erupts from below.

“We've ruled out the Secret Society,” you tell Yuyuko. “They've got some nifty toys and some magic books, but nothing necromantic to speak of.” You frown. “And from what I've seen, their supposed death toll is greatly exaggerated. They're not incompetent.”

“So no progress?”

“We've interrogated a ghost,” Keine says.

“Oh?” Yuyuko says, not seeming interested.

“Yes,” the schoolteacher replies. “Our only clue is the bewitchment upon the spirits, which lets them manifest, but without willpower to resist the magician's commands. But our magician cast used a bewitchment of his own, and we interviewed one of the enthralled ghosts.”

Yuyuko leans forward, hands clasped. “And?”

“We learned the ghosts are suicides... but from outside Gensokyo. And-” Keine pauses. “Yuyuko?”

Ghost-Geisha has stiffened, staring at Keine. “Oh. Oh, no.”

She looks up at you and Keine, face grave.

“It's Remilia.”

“... eh?” you say.

“It's because of Flan's diet,” Yuyuko continues.

“... you lost me.”

“Flan doesn't drink blood,” Yuyuko clarifies. “She... doesn't have the patience to feed like a vampire should-”

“You mean she's so bugfuck insane she can't slow down to drain someone before ripping them into confetti,” you clarify.

Yuyuko nods, looking a little green. “So they feed her disguised food... pies, cakes, tea... but made of human flesh.”

Keine abruptly drops her tea sandwich.

“Human flesh,” Duke muses between bites of fried meatballs. “And where do they collect that?”

“The balance in Gensokyo is delicate,” Yuyuko explains. “Devils or their minions running wild, hunting humans, would not be tolerated. Nor would grave-robbing from the Village. But suicidal folk, from the Outside world...”

“Sonofabitch,” you breathe. “I... Patchouli.”

“What?” Keine says, looking confused.

“She was fishing for information,” you relate. “That's why she jumped like a scalded ca-a-atipillar when I mentioned necromancy. That's why she traded books; that's why Remilia told her to give me a personal tour of the Voile library; Patchouli's her thrice-damned tutor!” You try to ignite a teacake with your glare.

Keine frowns, staring into space studiously. “Remilia can't just wander the forest picking up... carrion. Even I know vampires eat fresh-”

“The faeries,” you grumble. “Especially that horde of spritemares she's got. Little fuckers never shut up, so if one knows it, they all know it within five minutes - and forests are their natural haunts.”

Sakuya, pushing a wheelbarrow under the dangling body of some poor bastard, slicing his noose with a casual dagger-toss, carting it home-

You collapse on the table, squeezing your bowed head. “And you tolerated their corpse-stealing.”

Yuyuko blinks. You slowly raise your head to stare her down.

“You knew.”

Yuyuko captures a teacup in her hands and squeezes it, avoiding your eyes. “I don't like it any more then you do, but I'm Princess of the Netherworld. It's... outside of my jurisdiction.”

“So tell whoever can do something about it!” you snap.

“Wha...” Yuyuko stares at you, her lovely maroon eyes wide and wondering. “But they already know.”

“Buh?” you vocalize.

“They were suicidal. And Outsiders. They're of little significance – doubly so.”

“Little significance,” you repeat numbly.

“Nobody knows them,” Yuyuko says. “Or mourns them, and there was no murder, even.”

“So they are,” you say, voice creaking like a bowstring, “of little significance.”

Like those fairy chess-pieces Remilia was sniggering to Little Miss Impulse Control over, shoving them around, check-and-mate, watching them brawl as she watches, amused. Watching you, poking you with ghosts and laughing as you scramble like a kitten chasing a yarn ball, laughing it up in Manse Motherfucker, milking you like a cow while trying to drive wedges between you and Keine and getting pissy with Suwako because she doesn't want to share her new toy. And semi-god just wants to chat with Patchy because the cannibalism doesn't faze her, nor Kanako, because even though they know, deities know, they fucking know about human bodies being sliced-diced-lopped-chopped and pureed into tea cookies for that little psychobitch abomination but who gives a fuck they won't be missed, they won't complain, they won't drive away worshipers or even lower property values so to them they're of

- you shoot up from the table, jaw muscles aching teeth grinding head pounding

Your name, calling your name, Yuyuko-

You look at her.

“What are you going to do!?” she says with trepidation.

“I'm going to pound that bitch into a ball and bowl her through the employees,” you sizzle. “Then I'll break my foot off in her ass and use her as a mallet for whack-a-fae. “Then-”

Yuyuko's hands come down on the table, the sharp crack of splintering wood slicing through your rage. “You cannot! You've no chance contending with her servants, much less Remilia herself!”

Keine's mouth takes a hard set as she hunches over, head lowering, fists balling and arms tensing. “He made quick work of Marisa and Sanae,” Keine growls. “He's more then competen-”

“In a duel,” Yuyuko says quietly. “Not a battle. She's gathering an army of ghosts, grabbing for tremendous power.” Yuyuko steeples her hands before her, her little cloud of attendant spirits swirling about with agitation. “You think she intends to honor spellcard dueling rules, if she's doing that? Or her servants, for that matter? She might bring her full power against you – she might tamper with your very fate. Perhaps she already has.”

Remilia is one thing – Sakuya, Patchouli and Meiling slipping their debonair chains is quite another. “So what, then?”

“Report to the Yama,” Yuyuko says immediately. “She can authorize me to act, dispatch shinigami to help, and most importantly strip Remilia of her spirit minions.”

Duke's head shakes sad negatives as it sinks into his palm.

“Ffffuck your Celestial bureaucracy right up their nostrils,” you snap, illustrating the suggested thrust with your fist. “Fuck their sanctimonious bullshit, their precious rules and their pissweak excuses and above all, fuck their status quo right in its ugly lying face!

Yuyuko looks at Keine, silently pleading. The schoolteacher bites her lip, hard, visibly trembling. She catches you watching, and turns her face away as she flushes.

After a moment, she sighs, shoulders slumping – and grips your arm, shaking her head sadly at Yuyuko.

The Ghost Princess slumps dejectedly. “Please, just give me time,” she asks. “Just a day to petition before you make a mess of things-”

“Go ahead,” you glower. “Try to bend Heaven. I'm going to move Hell.”




[ ] DYNAMIC ENTRY

>Remilia has driven my friend and benefactor from her home, attacked, insulted and toyed with me and blatantly disrespected human life. Its time to fall upon her like an iron dragon swimming in lava at the speed of light.

[ ] IN UR BASE DRINKING UR TEA

>Teleport to Remilia's study, eat her cake, drink her tea and wait. There will be talking and gloating and counter-gloating. And then asskicking. You're still kicking her ass. Possibly with her own teacup.

[ ] DEWY DECIMATED

>Remilia's just a childvamp, but Patchouli's a hundred-year old Witch, a practitioner of the craft – she should damn well know better. It's her work, her magic and ultimately her fault for enabling Remilia's childish, dangerous schemes. If anyone needs punishment, it's her – and besides, dueling other spellcasters is something you're good at.

>> No. 163584
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

I like how I don't have to read the update to know what I want to vote for.
>> No. 163585
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY THIS YEAR

[☬] DYNAMIC ENTRY
>> No. 163586
[x] DEWY DECIMATED
Wizard duels tend to be the best duels
>> No. 163587
[ ] DEWY DECIMATED
Take out the support before going to the big boss. The LAST thing we need is Patchy counter-spelling us in the middle of a battle with Remi
>> No. 163588
HOLY SHIT IT UPDATED.

[x] DEWY DECIMATED

Best to work our way up. Shit is about to hit the fan, badly.
>> No. 163589
>>163582
Dynamic entry

We prepared the spells for just such a thing, it'd be a shame not to use them.
>> No. 163590
What spells do we have loaded again?
>> No. 163592
>>163590

Iron Dragon swimming in lava at the speed of light.

Literally.
>> No. 163593
Seems everyone's going for Dewey Decimated. Of course, our spell selection is primed for RIP AND TEAR, so we shouldn't get into a protracted wizard duel. Pop in, say hi, fuck you, and then RIP AND TEAR.

[x]Dewey Decimated

If you upated SWQ anytime soon, I'll have to write more Strikerless...
>> No. 163594
[X] DYNAMIC ENTRY
Time to fuck up some bitch.
>> No. 163595
[x] Dynamic Entry
I want to make a scene.
>> No. 163597
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

As said above, it does seem like a good idea to work our way up.
>> No. 163598
[X] DYNAMIC ENTRY

Hopefully, Flandre doesn't show up.

Fighting someone who can use 'Sphere of Annihilation' as a minor action will be a bitch to go against.
>> No. 163599
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

Shit is on.
>> No. 163600
[ ] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163601
This never updates.

Casuality has been broken.

[x] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163602
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

Wizard fights, best fights.
>> No. 163603
>longcat
Why must you do this?
>> No. 163604
[x] DEWY DECIMATED
Is this the 'sucks to be Tokiko today' option?
>> No. 163605
[X] DEWY DECIMATED

She has misused knowledge, and therefore lost the right to it. We should burn the library down.

Also wizards don't duel, they teleport in and magically shank their enemy before they realize what's happening.
>> No. 163606
[x] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163607
[x] Boom Shrooms first, then we act.

The mushrooms will give our spells the oomph we need to take them on. It'll also give The Ghost Princess time to at least TRY to go through the official channels, as unlikely as it is to work.
>> No. 163608
[X]SCRY AND DIE

First, we go after Sakuya when she's alone, hit her with a Save-or-Lose like Hold Person or Grease, have Duke incapacitate her, then steal her stopwatch.

Then, it's time to go to town on the rest of them from the safety of a Time Stop, until we run out of spells and retreat.
>> No. 163609
Holy shit an actual update.

[X] DYNAMIC ENTRY.
>> No. 163610
>>163608
Interesting, but this assumes she won't be able to activate her Time Stop before we manage to steal the watch. Just what SoLs do we have? Anything to stun her or similar?
>> No. 163612
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

This'd be the easiest way and after HOPEFULLY talking some sense into her, she might be able to help curb it.
>> No. 163613
>>163610
Immunity to Normal Missiles. Become immune to her daggers, so unless she runs away when time-stopped, we should get the drop on her.
>> No. 163614
[x] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163615
Am I the only one who isn't particularly fussed about Flandere eating the corpses of suicidal people?
>> No. 163616
This whole situation doesn't seem right. Things just don't add up.

First of all, If Remilia was making a power grab, wouldn't everyone join forces to steamroll her. At the very least, Reimu would see it as an incident and smack her down.

Next on the list is the issue of the souls. If the suicides are being harvested as food for Flandre, how was she getting fed beforehand? Has the system been in place since the Scarlets entered Gensokyo? That was at least eight years ago going by the official timeline. Reimu would at least care enough to get involved. And if large-scale deaths of outsiders are met with the powers that be giving no fucks about it, our attacking the mansion will be seen as unprovoked, which it technically is. We'll be beaten down for sure.

Third, where do Kanako and Suwako come in. Kanako has effectively no morals, but she always works things from a business angle. There are only a few possibilities on that front.
- Kanako and Remilia could have a military alliance. Unlikely, considering Youkai mountain is a much more formidable military force than any Remilia could muster. Both parties' pride is an even bigger deterrent.
- Suwako needs the Scarlets to back her in usurping Kanako. Blatantly clashes with her personality, both here and in canon.
- Kanako is trying to preemptively stop Remilia's plans of world domination. Plausible and [preserving of her self interests.
- Kanako is using Remilia as a distraction and scapegoat for her own plans. Most likely, as Kanako always has some harmful scheme running.

Fourth, how does Youmu fit in to all of this? If the Scarlets were to kill her, Yuyuko, Yukari, and eventually everyone else will erase them from living memory. They should have an easy enough time misdirecting the trail if Youmu is getting close. God knows, Youmu would fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

Taking all these factors together, I cannot help but believe that Yuyuko is lying. She's at least as cunning as Yukari is, and crafty enough to create this situation whole cloth. Her motives would probably be somewhere along the lines of boredom or just to see how things play out. The only thing I don't think she could be directly responsible for is the possible death of Youmu. Although, if she is the mastermind, there will inevitably be a conflict with the protagonist. Oh FUCK we might end up killing Youmu ourselves!
>> No. 163617
>Oh FUCK we might end up killing Youmu ourselves!

I just reread it. The dream prophecy doesn't preclude that possibility.

Good thing we took nonlethal substitution though, didn't w- Wait. We didn't.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
>> No. 163618
>>163613
But does it make us immune to being shanked by hand (as she has been shown to be able to somehow do while in Time Stop in Hisoutensoku)?

And do we even have that spell? I know we had a spell list some time back, but I can't remember where it was.
>> No. 163619
>>163617
Yes, we did. It's why were were able to duel Sanae without breaking Spell Card rules, remember?
>> No. 163620
>Using nonlethal substitution
>When fighting the servant of an enemy who is perfectly willing to manipulate us into a situation where we fight an entire army that uses lethal force
You're too soft, anon.
>> No. 163621
>>163616
I don't doubt that Remilia is using suicides as a source of food for Flandere.

I do believe however that Remilia is not the mastermind. The best lies are coated with truth and provides the mastermind with a perfect scapegoat.
>> No. 163623
[x] roll a nat 20 on WIS
[x] CALM THE FUCK DOWN. maybe the local immortal has a (small) point and just barging in is a bad idea, if only because it leaves Youmu unguarded while we change the power balance.
-[x] Prepare for an attack. Reassign spells slots for an invasion and vampire hunting, run intel on thier countermeasures, acquire boom-shrooms, make sure we aren't just forcing her to chop up living people instead, etc: etc:
--[x] Let Duke handle the Yama only if you can't think of anything else for him to do. Because screw the bureaucracy!
>> No. 163625
>>163616
the whole suicides to feed vampires thing was part of the vampire contract made in 1999 after the big vampire incident.

I imagine the natives have a different attitude than the wizard's (considering that said suicides would be dead no matter what and it's better than people being outright abducted from the village).

>>163621
Yeah that's too easy to do, but it seems the Wizard's big red buttons were pushed and I'm not sure if one could dissuade him from doing something. I have no idea if Yuyuko was aware of this effect or not

It's why I voted for the whole going after Patchouli thing as it's the least outright destructive route about this. At least I think it is compared basically raising a fight against a powerful vampire and her time stopping maid, with or without going through a bunch of things.

Dealing with Patchouli may end without too much of a fuss while going after Remilia will certainly be a messy affair. All a matter of how well the wizard delivers his verbal point and/or mild smacking around.

Personally I have my doubts about the SDM being the mastermind as making a Gabezbo come to life would be too much for the usually sick Patchouli. That and didn't the Wizard classify that as Cleric magic?

Honestly I think we're going to do something to the SDM only to find out they're not the masterminds. This sort of thing happens in wRPGs all the time.

Sure, not charging off is the choice of most common sense, but when have Demetrious' protagonists have common sense as anything other than a weak point?
>> No. 163627
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

This is a wizards' problem, and no uppity little vampire is going to get in the way between us and a sound lecturing target. Preferably accompanied by ridiculous amounts of offensive magic.
>> No. 163629
[X] DEWY DECIMATED
Beat Patchouli up, and drag her away from the mansion for some tort*ahem*thorough questioning.
Hopefully it'll provide some information.
>> No. 163630
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

Shapechange into a Solar+Iron Body=DEATH TO EVILDOERS STARTING WITH THE WITCH. TIME FOR GREATER DISPEL MAGIC AT WILL.
>> No. 163631
>>163619

According to >>149410, we don't have it yet.
>> No. 163632
Just an aside, but has anyone noticed how Duke manages to charm all the ladies?
>> No. 163633
>>163632
Big beefy guy with a dog head.

Dammit, the Touhous are furries.
>> No. 163634
>>163633
No shit. Consider Mystia. And Wriggle. And Momiji. And Okuu. And Orin. And Chen. And Ran. Etc etc etc.

Also:
[X] DEWEY DECIMATED
>> No. 163635
Good to see ya back, Demetrious.
[N] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163636
[X] DEWEY DECIMATED Via [X] DYNAMIC ENTRY!

Is this a thing? Because I really really want it to be a thing
>> No. 163637
File 135535970021.gif - (15.45KB , 225x230 , iamanerd.gif ) [iqdb]
163637
>>163582
>cannibalism
Eating human flesh is anthropophagy. Eating the flesh of your own species is cannibalism. Only one of those two things is going on, tovarisch.
>> No. 163639
File 135536580427.jpg - (6.85KB , 142x150 , GAHSHUNK.jpg ) [iqdb]
163639
[x]DYNAMIC ENTRY

LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING IRON SHARK KICKING DOWN APARTMENT DOORS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
>> No. 163642
[x] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163644
[ ] DEWY DECIMATED
>> No. 163645
[X] Get ye some boomshrooms. Maybe by the time you get back with ALL THE FIREPOWER, things will have blown over (haha yearight)
>> No. 163646
[X] DEWEY DECIMATED

>>163637
Yes. Point being, they are still filthy parasites upon the Human race.

Ah, and one thing you may wish to consider people. Remilia manipulates Fate. Who's to say that she doesn't, even if unconsciously, manipulate the Fate of all of those victims to lead them to suicide? After all, it's in her best interest to have a continuous supply, no?

Tenuous, I know, but to consider.

>>163634
Didn't seduce Keine, though.
>> No. 163650
Give Yuyuko 24 hours. In the meantime grab Marisa (Buy her help if needed), go through Alice plans and exchange your expertise for her help, contact Byakuren (Who knows, maybe she'll help) ask Keine to get Mokou (There's no kill like overkill). And then:
[x]MAKE A TEA PARTY IN VIOLES LIBRARY
>> No. 163653
>>163650
Marisa, Alice and Byakuren are presumably aware of this practice.

They don't care.
>> No. 163655
Agree with >>163616 that this whole business reeks of Things Are Not Adding Up as far as what we've been told.

The weirdest part, though, is that things aren't even adding up in terms of our own characters motivations either. What, exactly, is he so pissed about? I mean, all of a SUDDEN pissed about? He knows that Flan is, to use his own words, "so bugfuck insane she can't slow down to drain someone before ripping them into confetti", and yet she's obviously still alive, so he should know she's obviously been feeding somehow. What, exactly, did he THINK she was doing to survive before this? 'Cause the method of feeding described in this update is--if not altogether savory--still miles away more humane than just about any other method I can think of given those constraints, and they're certainly going more out of their way to be somewhat-decent about it than our Wizanon would really expect from vamps.

Desecrating corpses might not be very nice, but I seriously, seriously don't understand how him getting a sudden revelation of "they're desecrating corpses... INSTEAD of murdering folks" is met with sudden MURDERDEATHKILLRAGE instead of, you know, surprise that they're going so far out of their way to be (relatively speaking) more humane about it than he should have been expecting from them.

And then Yuyuko, right at the end, spins that into Remilla being the one to not only bring the bodies here, but ALSO to militarize the resulting ghosts in a power grab... which is a leap that doesn't really follow from the evidence as I see it, but by then she's wound our Wizard up too tightly to pay much attention to at this point. I can't help but concur with the idea that we're getting seriously played here.

All that said, and given our character and the way things are already progressing in the update before we got the choice, my vote would go to:

[x] DEWY DECIMATED
-[x] ...but please, let's at least lead with asking she explain herself, or something else that gives her the chance to give her side of the story, rather than saying "hi" with a Finger of Death or whatever. And LISTEN to what she says in reply.
>> No. 163656
Holy fuck, I missed this.
[X] IN UR BASE DRINKING UR TEA

This vote is lonely.
>> No. 163658
>>163646
Because he is our bro, and you don't mess with your bro's women. That's, like, Rule #1 of the Bro Code, and if Duke knows anything, he knows how to follow Codes. He is a living incarnation of Lawful Good, after all.
>> No. 163661
[X] DEWY DECIMATED
-[x] ...but please, let's at least lead with asking she explain
>> No. 163665
[x] IN UR BASE DRINKING UR TEA

Lonely vote is lonely, isn't it?

First and third options are direct assaults. This one gives the Wizard time to calm down and think things over more thoroughly. It could leave him open to other manipulations, yes, but if you think there's something deeper going on here, this one sounds like it's the way to go.
>> No. 163668
After a long and careful deliberation, I've concluded that we're swayed to and fro, like a puppet.
As people have pointed out, things aren't adding up. It's evident that there is a reason for it, and whatever we do, we'll end up playing straight into someone's hands.

As such, I suggest a different option.

[X] **** Gensokyo

It's evident that the local powers are all complicit in *something*, even if their particular skeleton-filled closets differ.

The solution is equally obvious - screw them, and bring in someone to sort them out.

That's right - we can't trust the local divinities, nor celestial authorities, since they are all clearly corrupt.

On the other hand, we can trust *ours* - even as disfunctional as they get, they're better than this.

Thus, I suggest we start bringing in OUR Celestials, and sorting things out with their help.
Even lantern archons will be an immense help, much less others.

I doubt that the Celestial Hosts would be opposed to it, especially if we give them a clear picture of the things happening on this side.

Hell, if need be, we can set up a full-blown permanent Gate and perform a hostile takeover, since it's clear that the local Heavens are remiss in their duties.

Damn the 'balance of power', and full speed ahead.
>> No. 163669
>>163655

[x] DEWY DECIMATED
-[x] ...but please, let's at least lead with asking she explain herself, or something else that gives her the chance to give her side of the story, rather than saying "hi" with a Finger of Death or whatever. And LISTEN to what she says in reply.

Agreed. Wizards should never storm a castle in anger. They storm it after planning, preparation and divination, only then sending an Astral Projection of themself to engage in a perfectly choreographed orgy of fantastic demolition.

Of course, as an alternative, we could always offer to use a Wish to either make Flandre sane, or to make her a not-vampire. Big XP cost, but there are ways to recoup that (one way being the reward XP, another being an XP ritual).
>> No. 163670
>>163669

The Wish to change species ritual is detailed in Savage Species, and a form of XP-transfer ritual/spell (for magic items) is here: http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/we/20060526a
>> No. 163671
>>163653
Why would you assume Byakuren knows, or even Alice?



>>163668
Are you fucking high? I don't remember our wizard at all having ANY sort of command in the celestial plane of his homeworld, neither do celestials just start showing up to places because PEOPLE ARE SCHEMEING A BLOO BLOO BLOO

tl;dr holy shit are you dumb
>> No. 163672
>>163671
Says the guy who clearly didnt read the guidelines. Dont namefag in someones elses thread, especially if you arent a writer on the site.
>> No. 163673
>>163672
Nice ad hominem, bro.
>> No. 163675
>>163672
Newfag detected.
Crix namefags. Stop getting butthurt about it.
>> No. 163677
>>163675
You're both cunts seriously. Bloke is correct, namefagging has always being disdained due to the origins of the site.

>>163671
Because it's common knowledge in Gensokyo so anyone who knows anything should know the feeding agreement the vampires have.

I personally still don't see the issue with eating corpses. Better eat the dead than the living after all.
>> No. 163679
>>163668
Thing is the wizard is assuming Shikieiki is no better than the judges of the dead in his world, though whoever is the mastermind is counting on this assumption as Shikieiki would likely come down hard on any sort of muckery wtih the dead.

>>163655
I agree with the intent as going full retard and blasting the SDM is what whoever wants to happen, either be it the grand mastermind or Yuyuko for her own agenda.

>>163677
honestly without the agreement, the balance would be affected in a negative fashion.
>> No. 163680
>>163675
He's like that tumor that we've given a name and have come to love, even though Crix is the cancer that's killing THP.

Cancer of my heaaaaaaaaart
>> No. 163682
>>163671
You don't need to have pull with celestials to call them.
I'm saying, summon backup rather than going in alone. Celestials are both awesome in combat and have *very* relevant special abilities - like being to perfectly tell when someone's lying to your face.

The escalation option's just that - if we don't manage to solve things before they unleash their army and whatever surprises they have in store, we don't have to fight alone with the few friends we have.

Because the afterlife - even in Gensokyo - is very much the business of even our Heavens. If it comes to it, having to solve things by force is better than not interfering and letting something clearly Evil take over.

The biggest limiting factor for divine intervention from our side - MAD with lower planes - doesn't apply since we have a monopoly on access to this place from our side.

It's, in my opinion, better than having to deal with local politics. We could, conceivably, convince others to back us once the mastermind reveals themselves. Before that, we don't know who to trust, who to aim them at, and how to prevent other powers from backing the other side in response. The last thing we need is to polarize everyone.

Besides, there's one option no one's mentioned?
What if there's more than one antagonist faction? It's more than possible that there are multiple plots tangled around us, just as dangerous, which we have missed in our focus.

And, before you bash the idea - there's a very simple way to determine whether it's viable.
We ask. There is a Celestial right next to us, explicitely tasked with evaluating things and informing the decision-makes back home.
If he says they won't interfere come the Apocalypse, they won't and we can go smash faces ourselves.
>> No. 163684
[x] DEWY DECIMATED

Doubt Remi's the mastermind, but she still done a bad thing. Take out her minions associates first, plot/difficulty progression isn't the only reason you don't start with the boss fight.

I have to wonder how he plans to stop this from happening, though. Kill Flan? Over Remi's dead body, and whoops you just murdered a major power player over dead Outsiders in a land of non-lethal dispute resolution where Outsiders are considered fair game. Sealing's probably out, too. Cure her of vampirism? That would be interesting.

Where's Cirno, anyway?

>>163668
It took me a second to figure out what the fuck that vote meant. Also, that would be lame. Even paladins don't just convince the gods to take out the BBEG themselves.
>> No. 163685
>>163665

It's true that the second Remilia option has some explicit talky time built in, but it still explicitly involves fighting Remilia as well. If we don't think fighting is necessarily a good idea here, then no matter WHICH of the latter two we pick we're still in the category of "picking an option hoping that what the option describes doesn't ACTUALLY happen".

On the other hand, if there's a PERSON who's more likely for the situation to avoid violence in the end, Patchy seems far and away the one who fits that bill. We haven't really ticked her off and been antagonistic to her, at least not to the same extent as Remilia. It's just that she only has ONE option for her, which is... kind of ambiguous as to exactly how, and in what order, it would all go down (as opposed to the distinct "talk first, then smite" and "Leeroy Jenkins" options we got for Remilia).

Hence why I tend to lean toward the more ambiguous option that's with the better PERSON to talk to, coupled with extra write-in text to try and indicate that I'm really hoping it's NOT the same kind of "smite first and ask questions later" approach as the first Remilia option clearly is.

'Cause really, Patchy is the one we want to confront just about any way you slice it. She has the near-perfect combination of being in a position to know enough about the magic involved, not being as personally antagonistic to us, and just generally being more reasonable and less prideful in temperament overall. Nor are we as inherently antagonistic toward her either, whereas our Wizanon has already established that he doesn't really like vampires to begin with.
>> No. 163687
>>163685
this. I might have said it earlier, but if we can talk to Patchy about this, we might be able to diffuse things without waging some bloody war on vampires.

Fighting against Remilia would be difficult and even in victory, odds are something greater would be loss. Outsiders are the perfect tool to upset a balance.
>> No. 163690
>“Youmu, who gives a shit?”
>...And theory gets mugged by application.

Do we need four more points in wisdom? Holy shit.
>> No. 163691
[ ] WE COME BEARING GIFTS

...Gifts of hamsters. Giant fire-breathing phase-shifting doppelganger hamsters.

They will be adorable as they are destructive.
>> No. 163695
LOL at the hypocrisy of Yuyuko calling a suicide "of little significance" when she herself committed suicide.
>> No. 163699
>>163695
But they were outsiders and nobody likes them so it's ok!
>> No. 163700
File 135551174889.jpg - (180.95KB , 1152x900 , sukhoi sukhoi.jpg ) [iqdb]
163700
>>163637
>this fucking post

Good catch... neeeeerd.

>>163690
BABY STEPS!

Calling the votes for DEWY DECIMATED. Which I've been informed should be spelled "Dewey" by someone who is also a nerd.

I missed writing this clueless fucker I really did
>> No. 163701
I still believe we should attempt to gather more help AND allow that information to leak to SDM. They are bound to send Sakuya (more possible) or maybe even Patchouli (not really) in attempt to eliminate or stall that plot. We'll be ready for this and for squeezing more information from them.
Even if it doesn't work we'll help Alice against forest giant. She already has planned to go against it. That'll throw a wrench into Kanako plans and without our interference (we'll only arm someone who will probably win on her own) so she won't be able to move against us. Even if we do this only for our own satisfaction.
I also don't have any issue with corpses (That part probably IS common knowledge) but playing with souls (which probably ISN'T) is something that shouldn't be tolerated. Komachi already kicked one ass for interfering with reincarnation circle so her help (And honest information. Probably only possible source of such aside from Keine) is practically guaranteed.
The most desperate option is wait for full moon so Keine can tell us everything (Do we have time for this?)
All things considered I'm firmly against Leroy Jenkins tactics. We have too few reliable informations to do this. If we have Vision spell in our spellbook that's probably good time to use it.
>> No. 163702
File 135551309068.jpg - (21.28KB , 400x279 , 1327951872016.jpg ) [iqdb]
163702
>>163701
>The most desperate option is wait for full moon so Keine can tell us everything (Do we have time for this?)

... oh, shit.

Even if Wizard hasn't realized this yet, his foes sure as hell have. When Keine goes EX, she'll not only have horrendous power, but she'll know exactly who's asses to stomp flat with it.

We're on a time limit!
>> No. 163703
>>163702

I'm very curious as to what EX-Keine will be like in this story. Is she reasonable? Vicious?

And how powerful is she in that state, anyway? I know she's an EX-midboss, but would that put her even with or ahead of Remilia, power-wise? (Assuming you equate stages with raw power. It's not always so clear cut.)
>> No. 163705
[X] DEWY DECIMATED

Get rid of the source, then combat the results.
>> No. 163706
File 135552307356.jpg - (965.71KB , 1024x1300 , c88b973fe8ed0c2b34bb58ffb7b8d142.jpg ) [iqdb]
163706
>>163703
>I'm very curious as to what EX-Keine will be like in this story. Is she reasonable? Vicious?

Horny
>> No. 163707
Votes already called, you can stop voting now.
>> No. 163708
>>163707
[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED[X]DEWEY DECIMATED
>> No. 163710
File 135554446861.jpg - (70.50KB , 215x300 , 1313010641369.jpg ) [iqdb]
163710
>>163708
I treasure you deeply.
>> No. 163712
File 135554588741.jpg - (82.30KB , 717x960 , 1355454028378.jpg ) [iqdb]
163712
>>163710
<3
>> No. 163713
"Duke's head shakes sad negatives as it sinks into his palm."

It seems Duke does not approve.
>> No. 163714
>>163668
Cue instant 17 Favored Soul levels and a promotion for our partner due to giving our God an entire subrealm.

Empowered Sunburst in yoru ass, Remilia.
>> No. 163715
>>163700
Got tired of writing the other oblivious fucker eh?
>> No. 163717
Oh hey, it's this story. I'd totally forgotten abou-

>>163700
>Calling the votes for DEWY DECIMATED.
Oh god damn it people, what have you done?
>> No. 163719
>>163717
What? You always kill the minions before the final boss. Can't leave anyone alive to stab us in the back.
>> No. 163721
>>163717
It's okay. So had the writer hoped to forget about it himself.
>> No. 163722
>>163717
The sensible thing and not for >>163719 's reasons. Do you honestly think that blasting Remilia without more information is really a good idea? Going after Patchy first would get that extra information, which might actually get more of a big picture of what's going down.

>>163715
>>163721
He hasn't forgotten about SWQ. That and the other guy isn't that dense considering what he and a redhead did in a closet.
>> No. 163736
>>163722
No, I don't, but blasting Patchy's no better.
>> No. 163746
>>163736
I get the impression with Patchy, blasting would be of the last resort while with Remilia, it'd be the first.
>> No. 163764
>>163669

Pointing out that this both solves the problem and does not destroy the fucking setting in the process.

Voting may be over, but it's worth noting for future bargaining.

I really get the impression that most of the posters here have no idea what the MC is capable of. Because it isn't just violence. He can cure insanity, hell, he can cure needing to drink the blood of innocents by making a regenerating blood/meatbag with a Wish (he could also do it with magic items and a half-dozen other methods).

Hell, if he knows any Binder lore - and he does, with his Knowledge: Arcane levels - then he'll probably be able to figure out how to teach someone to flat-out bind Naberius if Gensokyo Vampires inflict CON damage with their blood drain.

Likewise he can totally Gate in a Troll if they want meat. He can MAKE regenerating humanoids.

Also, as an aside - if we don't have Mindblank up, we need to put it up. Fate Manipulation is pretty definitively Divination, and Mindblank both protects against all Divination, but also prevents ANY information about you being gleaned by magic.

Which is ridiculous and mindbreaking to consider, but about par for the course in Gensokyo.

"The subject is protected from all devices and spells that detect, influence, or read emotions or thoughts. This spell protects against all mind-affecting spells and effects as well as information gathering by divination spells or effects. Mind blank even foils limited wish, miracle, and wish spells when they are used in such a way as to affect the subject’s mind or to gain information about it. In the case of scrying that scans an area the creature is in, such as arcane eye, the spell works but the creature simply isn’t detected. Scrying attempts that are targeted specifically at the subject do not work at all."
>> No. 163765
>>163764
But that comes at a cost and might fall under "unworthy uses of it". The Wizard in character, would never think of that for a mix of reasons.
>> No. 163768
>>163746
I certainly fucking hope so.
>> No. 163770
"as well as information gathering by divination spells or effects"

Even if fate manipulation is divination I don't think fate manipulation is information gathering, likewise she doesn't need to effect our mind with it to cause bad stuff to happen.
>> No. 163774
>>163770
She'd have to read his fate before she changes it... I guess?
>> No. 163781
>Keine abruptly drops her tea sandwich.

How the hell do you make a tea sandwich?
>> No. 163782
>>163781

Do not meddle into the affairs of wizards for we are swift to anger and in some cases not altogether subtle.

On an unrelated note, the hobbit was awesome even if they cut off at the good part to drag it out into another movie.
>> No. 163784
>>163781
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_sandwich

The more you know
>> No. 163791
>>163782
Come on man, Smaug and the war can be made into a war all by itself, and the longer the better. Or did you wanted a 'Harry Potter' adaptation?
>> No. 163794
>>163680
You know that, and I know that, but apparently not very many other people do.
>> No. 163799
I am very sad that this story is more about plot than Keine lately.
>> No. 163801
>>163799
I for one am happy that we're working towards solving the problem at hand. Romance can wait until the job is complete.
>> No. 163802
>>163801
Yeah, right. When the job is complete, the story is over.
>> No. 163804
>>163799
We do partially have ourselves to blame for that; I'm sure more romance stuff will come up near the end of the in-story day.
>> No. 163806
>>163799
I agree. Wiz/Keine hijinks were my favorite part.

Although there's a number of people who feel exactly the opposite, and we got in a fight about it so Deme finally decided to advance the plot and damn the torpedoes.
>> No. 163809
>>163806
I think the issue was there was too much general hijinks and not enough progression of either romance or plot.
>> No. 163823
>>163806
Well, that did end up working for the other quest. So yeah, smart of him.
>> No. 163825
>>163774

In part it comes down to how literally you read the text - because Mindblank could easily be an open-ended and headache inducing effect.

However if Fate Manipulation subtly influences people to act in a manner that leads towards the desired outcome, then it should definitely fail against Mindblank.

At the very least, Fate Manipulation falls under Divination as a magical effect (see: Unluck, p 227 SpC) and being Manipulation, should invoke the "no information gathering/no fiddling with or information about the mind/no scrying" clauses.

At least, assuming it is delicate "weaver of fate" style fate magic. The actual Unluck spell wouldn't care about Mindblank, for instance.

>>163765

Is it even possible to explain those reasons in a way that doesn't make the Wizard sound like an idiot?

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds and dead wizards - he knows better (Proof: Is Wizard, Is Alive → Not Idiot) than to try and solve everything in the exact same way, and should be damned well wary of an actual honest-to-god initiative roll against a vampire and a time-controller.

He should jump at the opportunity to one up the bullshit superpowers of Gensokyo in a way that absolutely no one would find fault with (except perhaps the Troll) and which would have a lasting and positive effect upon Gensokyo as well as earn him valuable goodwill.

Given that the situation is finally serious, it might be time to act more like a Wizard and less like a native. That Int bonus does more than just determine bonus spells/day y'know.

I agree that he's got a damned hot temper, but given any significant time at all to think things through, he would *at the very least* consider this.
>> No. 163833
>100 posts
>1 update
I am disappointed Demetrious. Get back to writing.
>> No. 163834
File 135605080557.jpg - (79.38KB , 858x579 , 127738375647.jpg ) [iqdb]
163834
>>163833
d20 inspired stories, just like the ones that involve high school, are popular. Which guarantees a progressively lower updates/thread ratio.
It can't be helped
>> No. 163836
>>163825
he hates vampires too much to actually consider helping one. If he hated them anymore he'd have a "favored enemy" feat with them.

>>163834
He's busy with life, not being inert.
>> No. 163840
>>163834

If I remember correctly, Deme works in retail.

And Christmas is definitely the shittiest time of the year for retail.
>> No. 163841
>>163840
I thought he worked a gas station?
>> No. 163858
shoot votings closed already! oh well. Glad to see we are taking action now. Magic immune dragon on a spellcaster yeah that is going to be awesome. We also need more keine, lots more keine!
>> No. 163864
File 135637081358.jpg - (75.12KB , 500x456 , FEEEEEL THE LIGHT.jpg ) [iqdb]
163864
>>163668
Time for what I believe is referred to as a Runaway Angelic Gate Cascade.
>> No. 163901
>>163836

>hates vampires

I'll grant you that he's not fond of them, but if he actually hated them he'd have done something about them already.

Or at least thought about it, or done some Divination.

I mean, it apparently took him this long to figure out that vampires eat people.
>> No. 163912
>>163901

out of sight out of mind. remember wiznon been dealing with ghost and secret conspiracy cults. now that he stopped to think we finally can release some whoopass on said vampires
>> No. 163962
>>163901
To be fair, typical D&D vampires don't have to kill when they feed, they just take enough blood to leave a person woozy for a few days. A vampire could easily keep itself hidden in a village and pass it off as some kind of illness going through.

This is probably the first time he's seen vampires actually eating bodies.
>> No. 164311
wow i forgot this existed and just spent a day reading what I missed. Since we are fighting a mage how about we save our heavy duty spells for the vamps and use disabling spells?
>> No. 164329
>>164311
You mean talking with one, it's too soon to assume a fight just yet.
>> No. 164336
>>164329
>oh_wait_you're_serious.gif
>> No. 164652
>>163655
... Is it possible for us to have had our mind manipulated without us or Duke noticing? Also, how does Mind Blank effect already-existing mental manipulation?
>> No. 165008
>>163668

I like the idea, but we should have a bunch of celestial bureaucracy to fight first. Otherwise it is a bit too much like cheating. Maybe we could fool someone into insulting the gods from our home dimension while they are listening, or something similar. I am unsure how much provocation is needed for them to start bashing heads, or if they will jump at the chance of grabbing a new plane/pocket dimension for themselves.
>> No. 165067
File 136064199334.jpg - (299.07KB , 628x900 , 1354995484272.jpg ) [iqdb]
165067
----

Nobody makes an entrance quite like a wizard, and no wizard makes an entrance quite like you. But you've overplayed your favorite method recently, and thus the element of surprise.

Which is fine. Variety is the spice of life, and you're a generalist. Which is why you and Keine materialize in the Voile Library, kneeling, behind the exact pile of books you'd been aiming for; the clown-porn ones. The Voile library is humming with magical interference, but with Greater Teleport, your arrival is successful and on-target to the inch.

And, like most magicians, Patchouli proves to be a creature of habit.

“-exact words were '-just sieves,',” you hear Meiling saying, her voice rather cool.

From the center of her little casual-reading nook, Patchouli responds. “He's no rat. If he shows up he'll be spoiling for a fight. Be sure to give him one. And bring him to me, when you're done. But above all do not let Remilia find him first. Understand?”

“Guard the grounds and go fetch,” Meling summarizes, her tone clipped. “What if he sneaks in?”

“I'll deal with him myself,” Patchouli replies.

“Sensible,” Meiling says. “You are the best cat in the Mansion, after all.”

A beat of strained silence.

“... He may be intelligent, but he's still a brawler,” Patchouli says with disdain. “Even you caught him when he tried to slip in. In the past few days he's crashed an airship on a dragon, kicked in Marisa's door, kicked in my door while surfing a greased tentacle monster and gone riding through the Human village on a magical chest – inebriated - with a fairy.”

Keine interrogates you with a truly intense glare. Your sink into your shoulders a bit and jerk your thumb towards the conversing women. Busy!

“In sum,” Patchouli says dryly, “he's not subtle enough to sneak up on you, much less me.”

Even across the width and breadth of the Comsic Planes, there's few things as beautiful as a straight line. You pick a gap between towering stacks of books and thrust your head through, cutting your eyes sideways at Patchouli.

“HEEEEEEERE'S WIZARD!

Patchouli produces a noise you estimate as E#, third-octave, her cat ears and (tail!?) stiff and bushy with fright. Meiling is staring at you in uncomprehending shock even as a heavy hardbound book leaves her hand, her body moving of its own accord.

You block instinctively with one arm, the tome bouncing off the invisible force-planes of your Bracers of Armor harmlessly. You burst through the piles of books like an Elemental of Wall-Breaching, erupting into the woman’s midst in a flurry of flying literature.

Patchouli's cat-ears twitch as she continues to stare at you, slack-jawed. Meiling's hands start wavering uncertainly as her conscious mind catches up with her kung-fu reflexes. She becomes a blur of motion as she flashes into a fighting stance – and freezes in it when you hear the click-clack of Keine's sensible bow-bedecked pumps on the floor behind you.

“You may be intelligent,” you say to Patchouli, “but you're still an arrogant, short-sighted bitch.

That snaps her out of it. She springs from her seat, hands balled into fists and eyes aflame with rage. “YOU!” she roars. “YOU are a violent thug who takes the Art and wields it like a barbarian's club! You invaded my private domain, blasted my library, physically assaulted me, insulted my morals and – and worst of all,” she snarls, her voice becoming throaty and feral, “YOU. MADE. ME. CUTE!” she bellows, gesturing at her new ears with both hands.

“And you have enabled the depredations of a beast you call 'friend', violated the privacy of my host, lied and manipulated me to steal my work and my Art and had the breathtaking arrogance to think me the amateur when you're the one literally taking pages from my books!”

“If you're no amateur,” Patchouli hisses, “then why are you still hiding behind the schoolteacher's skirts?”

Violence surges in your blood, Shapechange rising to your lips with the tide. Your vision blurs red as your pulse pounds in your ears. A similar wrath glows in Patchouli's eyes, her breath coming ragged and swift, the magic potency of the venerable Magician swelling out of her. She's eager for your attack, longing to smash you flat like a bug, like a brawler, like an amateur -

Something as ordained and cold as a winter night cools your blood. Any other challenge, from any other foe, and you'd have already struck – but for your entire life, the only thing you've had complete and utter confidence in is your magic.

It's the only thing you've ever been good for.

“I challenge you, under Spell-Card rules,” you say evenly. “To a duel.”

Patchouli's eyes smolder with open hostility. “How many cards?”

“Just as many as you want, sweetheart, I brought a bag of scrolls and a brace of wands.”

Patchouli's purple eyes glow with eldritch incandescence as the air around her begins glowing. “You are a fool,” Patchouli hisses. “Playing to your own weaknesses, attacking someone who's taken your measure – you've blundered so badly it's almost embarrassing.”

You thrust your palm at Patchouli and hiss your trigger words even as she unleashes her spell. A brief impression of energies coalescing on the Elemental Mage, glowing glyphs rising from her hands -

Water Sign 「Bury in Lake」

- bright cerulean flashes light the air before you as the air temperature plummets, brilliant blue-white beams searing the edges of your vision. You cross your arms just as an invisible wall slams into you, your boots squealing on the polished floorboards as more cerulean bolts jackhammer against your shield; a gigantic translucent hand of Force.

You catch a glimpse of Patchouli, now perched atop a bookshelf at the edge of her large rectangular 'workspace' amongst the stacks. She waves her hands, another mighty blast of elemental energy gathering around her body.

Keine said every spellcard must be named in combat with a 'meaningful and beautiful' title; and you're determined to win this one by-the-book.

“「TALK TO THE HAND」” you scream, as you and Bigby's Interposing Hand flip Patchouli the bird.

Eye(s) of the beholder and all that, right?

A blue-white glow suffuses Patchouli as she readies another burst of energy. You whip out your wand (as Wizards are wont to do) and blast a blisteringly-bright orange bead towards Patchouli, trailing flame.

Patchouli's own spell discharges, the blasts of water striking your incoming Fireball in mid-air. A huge sibilant WHUFF!fills the room as the remainder blows through the cloud of steam unabated. This time you actively dodge, twisting to and fro as the spiraling bolts hammer into the woodwork around you. Your Hand has to absorb a few more, though, and you can tell its integrity is failing rapidly.

“Once you know something's attributes, it's easily defeated,” Patchouli's bored voice intones. “And I read yours like a book.” Another blast of projectiles comes screaming in at you as the ice-rays pen you in neatly.

You quickdraw your other wand, discharging it just as the water-bolts start flying around you. The Lightning Bolt arcs through the almost-continuous stream of water, following the easiest path to ground – which ends at Patchouli. The air before you explodes with steam, and in the distance you hear Patchouli cry out as she's struck.

“I read yours like a billboard, bitch!” you scream. This rock-paper-scissors elemental bullshit was never your forte – you fight fire with fire... and water with water. As Patchouli is picking herself off the floor, you focus on her vicinity and intone quick words of magic. You follow it with a quick Ghost Sound, your disembodied voice seeming to boom from the air all around you:

Evocation Sign 「Ice Storm」

A gigantic hailstone smashes into the floor next to Patchy, showering her with icy shrapnel. She jerks forward as another one smashes up the floor right behind her. She makes to dash forward, only to halt just before another hailstone cracks her skull. Soon she's jerking and and twisting spasmodically, dodging as best she can, but several stones graze her, and one manages to crack her in the noggin. She goes down, hard. Just as you feel some hope, a translucent green orb springs into being around her, and you watch the magic hailstones bounce off harmlessly. Patchy's Water sigil has changed:

Water Sign 「Jellyfish Princess」

You thrust your other hand forward and let fly with your wand of Lightning Bolts, but Patchouli simply waves her hand dismissively and her shield sparks as the bolt hits it, the power flowing over its surface and into the ground, leaving Patchouli untouched. She begins to glow as she summons a second spell-card with the Wood symbol:

Water & Wood Sign 「Water Elf」

Gusts of air begin stirring as ambient magic in the air crackles and tingles over your skin. Elemental energy – freezing water and chunks of ice borne by streamers of cyclonic wind – burst from Patchouli and weave through the air towards you. Powerful winds buffet you as they fling the incoming slurry of water-jets and ice every which way.

She's realized your Interposing Hand only shields from one direction.

Patchouli's got another think coming. Wielding one of your Rods of Extend Spell, you wave your hands about you slowly, feeling the pent-up magic building on your palms as you recite the long trigger phrase, channeling the spell into the air around you. A shimmering sphere of violet energy appears about you as Patchouli's barrage of energies strikes you from all sides.

Splinters of pain stab your psyche as each bolt of elemental energy strikes your barrier, trying to power through. You attack each bolt as they strike, wielding your dweomer's power expertly to disrupt and dispel them. Sweat pours down your face as an incredible torrent of power hammers your shield from every direction, but nothing manages to bust through.

Through the shimmering violet haze of your defenses, and across the Voile Library, the expression on Patchouli's face is still priceless. With great difficulty, you manage to redirect the scattered energies of the dispelled bullets so their bright, sparking demises illuminate some simple Japanese symbols upon your shield:

Abjuration Sign 「Otiluke's Dispelling Screen」

“I can do this all day!” you snarl, leveling your wand at Patchouli. Another bead of Fireball whistles through the air, sending her flipping backwards through the air to alight behind a towering bookshelf as it detonates with a characteristic WUMPH! of rapidly displaced air.

“I doubt that!” Patchouli shouts back, rather hastily.

You grin with grim satisfaction as you tear apart the next salvo of incoming projectiles. Patchouli has redoubled her efforts; the bolts now requiring real effort to dispel. Your defenses saturated, two slip through – one splatters on your Force armor, but the other catches you high in the shoulder, knocking you down.

“I might have gone easy on you,” Patchouli says, a bit closer now. You espy her about thirty yards away, hovering in mid-air, looking down at you. “You are talented... but stupid and rude.”

Another hail of wind-whipped water-bolts hammers your veil. Wary now, you're ready when three higher-powered bolts strike amidst the flurry of weaker attacks. Sharp spikes of pain pierce your head as you weave your dweomer, successfully tearing them apart. You briefly wish you'd used Spell Turning, but you're saving that for the real showdown.

“Assaulting a powerful Magician in her own sanctum; specifying no spell-card limit against one with vastly more capacity, using elemental magics against an elementalist – just what kind of arrogant fool are you?”

Sulfurious!” you exclaim with a flourish.
Patchouli blinks – then narrows her eyes. “Oh, a smelly joke. Just dig that grave a little deeper, you-”

“Arming a bloodsucking beast with necromantic power,” you bellow, thrusting your finger at the Magician, “keeping her secrets, aiding and abetting her crimes and tolerating her corpse-stealing cannibalism! What kind of monster are you!?

Patchouli blinks, her hurricane assault hesitating, swirling around you warily. “What?”

“FLANDRE'S PIES ARE MADE OF PEEEEOPLE!” you roar, your rage overcoming you.

Patchouli frowns. “Eating your own species is cannibalism. Eating human flesh is called anthropophagy.”

“NEEEEEEERD!” you roar, punching a force-blast at her. Battering Ram hits her square in the chest, blasting her ass-over-teakettle through the air. Patchouli tumbles like a rag-doll, arcing right into the odious, green fogbank swirling through the library behind her. You politely make introductions at the top of your lungs:

Conjuration Sign 「Stinking Cloud」

She wants to play “exploit-the-weakness?” Then let's play.

The cyclonic danmaku storm ceases circling and blows towards Patchouli with such horrendous force it knocks you on your face, sliding you over the floorboards. The howling storm tears through the Stinking Cloud, tearing it to mere ribbons of mist.

Hacking and coughing, Patchouli pushes herself up against a bookshelf-end into a sitting position.

“Do you yield?” you call out.

She sneers. “Like – ahckhf – nobody's – tried that – before-” her Water sign vanishes, and on the opposite side of the Wood sign rises something new: Moon.

Moon & Wood Sign 「Satellite Sunflower」

“You have got to be shitting me,” you say wearily as you watch two quicksilver orbs dart towards the ceiling above you and begin circling. You're just devising a counter when a blast of air nails you in the chest, flinging you clear across the room – and away from your Dispelling Screen. You land on your back, rapping your skull against the floorboards painfully. Above, you see the orbs begin an outward spiral as they drop slow, dense-looking shards of orange energy.

Above you a boot hovers just over your face, then retreats. You see Koakuma standing above you, pushing her glasses up as she shifts attention from her clipboard to you. She looks up.

“... it's Monday already?” she sighs.

You've no doubt Patchouli selected this spell to overcome your skill at countermagic – slow, heavy bolts are a ponderous power attack, not a blitz of lower-level magic. As the spiral of falling magic tightens on you, you raise your hands and cast:

Conjuration Sign 「Wall of Stone」

A bright orange screen appears above you, arching slightly as the glow fades, leaving smooth, unblemished stone behind. You merge the stone with the graceful, fluted stone support columns that hold up the Library's roof, selecting two on either side, flanking the huge rectangular battle zone. Within moments you have a nine-hundred square yard rectangular roof of stone two and a half inches thick. You hear the cracks as Patchouli's spell hammers it, but the stone holds.

You roll on your side and push yourself up on one knee to find Patchouli swooping down at you, blue bolts of magic leaping from the book in her hand and homing on you. Your Ring of Evasion heats up as its magic takes effect, allowing you to flop sideways just in time to dodge the attack. You hear Patchouli wheezing as she circles around, weakened but still fighting.

The battle's on even terms now, but that's not enough – you need an opening to land a decisive blow. You need Patchouli on the defensive. “Behold!” you cry, naming your counter-attack:

Conjuration Sign 「Summon Swarm: BEEEEEEEEES」

With a muted pop! a swarming, angry cloud of bees appears all about Patchouli. She cries out in alarm, darting away, but the swarm follows, stinging and buzzing for all they're worth. It's impossible to focus on spellcasting while being assailed so, unless you're made of stern stuff – and Patchouli's no physical titan. You pocket your wands as you review your mental inventory – the natural-born Magician seems to shrug off elemental attacks. While Patchouli's busy with the bees you need to launch something super effective-
>> No. 165068
File 136064250551.jpg - (740.81KB , 1314x931 , silent selene.jpg ) [iqdb]
165068
But your chance never comes. Patchouli's feet touch the floor, and she sinks to her knees as she spins, concentric rings of lambent silver light appearing around her. Despite the angry cloud of singing bees clumping to her clothing, her expression is blank, her focus unshakable. The air about her begins to glow with pale light, and the bees drift away from her, tumbling, confused. Flickers of silver light dart down from the ceiling – or is it up? like bars of an invisible cage blinking in and out of sight.

The “Wood” sigil hovering over Patchouli's book vanishes, leaving only Moon:

Moon Sign 「Silent Selene」

Your pitiful swarm is vaporized as the silver rings surge with light, quicksilver bolts flashing through the air and into the ceiling, punching neat holes in your stone roof as if it wasn't there. Patchouli floats to her feet as the spellcard takes full effect, shielding her in a beautiful cylinder of raining moonbeams. Patchouli's eyes are closed, her face serene and peaceful. Her loose clothing floats away from her as her toes leave the floor, the hand not clutching her book drifting upwards easily as she guides her magic. Her long hair floating about her face in long strands and curls, the beautiful silver light seeming to linger on her pale features, she is truly beautiful.

You stare at her in mute wonder. You'd hoped exploiting her weak lungs would prevent any devastating two or three-element combinations, but Patchouli only needs one to blow you away. For one eternal moment you stand frozen, enraptured by the beauty, the purity of a true Magician in the throes of her Art.

And then you see your opening.

As you trace a glyph in the air with one hand and whisper the trigger words, you feel strength leave your arms and a slight breeze against your robes. Your footfalls come hard and heavy, their customary lightness gone. You break into a sprint, then a flat-out run, barreling towards Patchouli's mighty cylinder of defensive moonbeams -

- and into them -

- and through -

Shimmering quicksilver rain winks into nothingness around you as you plow right through Patchouli's spell. She opens her eyes just as you wind up and plow your knuckles right into her jaw.

Patchouli Knowledge, natural-born Magician and mighty elementalist, spins on one heel as her head snaps snaps sideways and hits the floor, down for the count.
>> No. 165069
File 136064335226.gif - (274.39KB , 320x320 , 1359844214429.gif ) [iqdb]
165069
Rest of update coming "soon."

blarf
>> No. 165070
Soon © Valve.

Stunning update, Demetrious. I can't wait for the rest.
>> No. 165071
File 136064494510.jpg - (132.61KB , 500x375 , 1316748386564.jpg ) [iqdb]
165071
>>165070

I actually know what happens, I just need to take a breath or to before I write it. Cranked this out hard and fast (durr hurr hurr)
>> No. 165074
File 136064939851.png - (356.59KB , 598x600 , patchouli.png ) [iqdb]
165074
Impressive update. I even laughed at the references (including one from this very thread) which I never really do. Well fucking done.
>> No. 165075
Well, I don't know what this solved, exactly, but I enjoyed it anyway.
>> No. 165076
>“NEEEEEEERD!”
Warmly waiting
>> No. 165077
...getting pretty fed up with Wizanon, not gonna lie.
>> No. 165078
I see Wizardanon has taken the bite, hook, line and sinker.
>> No. 165080
Oh how I missed this... again.
So when did we turn Patchouli into a cat? I guess it's easy to forget after a couple years.
>> No. 165081
>>165078
What bait? It's not about the ghosts anymore.

>Patchouli frowns. “Eating your own species is cannibalism. Eating human flesh is called anthropophagy.”
>> No. 165082
>>165068
Melee Sign 「TALK TO THE FIST」?
>> No. 165083
So, now that we know exactly what spells were required to take Patchy down, would it be implausible to give a reasonable estimate of her level?

I do not particularly into 3.X, but I think Lightning Bolt plus Ice Storm plus Battering Ram would have dealt something like 16d6 damage in total?
Stinking Cloud doesn't deal any damage, and it doesn't look like Summon Swarm did anything. But the unarmed attack would have dealt something like 1d3+1 damage if I recall correctly.

So, assuming no crits or similar - and that, caught off-guard, she had no way to mitigate the damage - she'd have approximately 59 HP or so. If I'm not terribly wrong, this would put her close to, or at, epic.

Now someone come and point out all the horrible, horrible mistakes I made.

>> No. 165088
>>165081
Personally, I see no need to justify his hatred of the act.

After all, Mind Flayers are also anthropophages instead of cannibals. Does that make them eating people's brains any less evil?

Furthermore, Vampires were once Human/Mortal, no matter how much they try/want to believe or delude themselves otherwise.

Really, burn the Vampires with Holy Fire. CALL DOWN PELOR, THE BURNING HATE.
>> No. 165089
Patchy does seem like the type to have a glass jaw.
>> No. 165091
>>165083
She probably has a Con score that's abysmal to the point of being a penalty.
But then there's feats like Toughness (and Improved Toughness) that bump you back up on the HP scale again, and most spellcasters tend to go for that since they have no use for combat feats. (And most metamagic are better as rods than actually taking up a real feat.)
So basically, going by ONLY someone's hit points leaves way too much margin of error.
Especially if we're going by the hardcore D&D rules of rolling your hit die every level but the first.

>>165089
He definitely did something before charging though her spell.
Judging on the fact that A. his footfalls became "hard and heavy", B. his punch was enough to send her spinning around even though Wizanon isn't exactly a physical powerhouse either, and C. he just walked straight into and THROUGH a Silent Selene, which is an extra stage spell card, and it had literally no effect on him:
I'm thinking that the spell he cast before lunging at her was some form of Shapechange/Polymorph. If my guess is correct that wasn't an Unarmed Attack for a piddly 1d3 (+Str Bonus) damage, but a Slam for a grand total of 2d10+13 damage. Lethal damage, no less.
>> No. 165092
Guessing at Patchy's stats seems rather pointless, since most Gensokyans appear to exist outside of D&D rules anyway.

As for our spell, I'm guessing either Iron Body or another similar transmutation spell, or some manner of antimagic spell.
>> No. 165093
Patchy's definitely epic. You don't make Philosopher's Stones on the fly at normal levels.
>> No. 165095
My personal guess is that we used an antimagic field. Shuts down the ring of evasion (we slow down), the strength-enhancing gauntlets (we feel weaker), and lets us plow right through Patchy's magic.

As for the punch... solid hit with metal gauntlets + physically frail Magician = KO.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Dunno.
>> No. 165096
Kinda disappointed we haven't seen our Iron Dragon swimming in magma at the speed of light yet.

I guess we're saving that to intimidate the fuck out of Remilia? Silly vampires think they're all high and might and suddenly they're staring into a cave, wait that's not a cave I need to back up to see it all oh-

oh fuck.

It'll be great.
>> No. 165097
>>165088
I think flying into such a rage only futhers whatever other plan is going on. I do not find it incidental that Yuyuko knew the right buttons to get him a'raging.

There's a big different between the hothead and the coolhead: the latter controls the former.
>> No. 165099
While "fuck bureaucracy" is a good thought and all, I hope Shikieiki comes to lay down the law. I can see it now: Remilia is standing triumphant over a beaten Wizanon, when the sky darkens and the mansion shakes as the ground splits apart, and...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R64JZ7pEZ4

GUILTY.
>> No. 165112
On a side note - someone give me a link to the neko-ification? I seem to have forgotten this...
>> No. 165114
quicksand
>> No. 165124
>>165080
>>165112
Back when we did the Alchemy thing, in thread 13: >>134494

>>165083
>>165091
Also, it's compellingly plausible that a "natural magician" has cold and/or electric resistance 10 (possibly due to active spells; see resist energy [3.5 SRD] or energy absorption [Complete Mage]). That would bring the pre-punch damage down to as little as 39 hp.

Also also, it's possible that a "Natural Magician" gets better than a d4 for their hit die. (Liches get d12, after all.)

Also also also, if she's at least level 24, she may have taken Epic Toughness (+30 hp), which is more than Toughness and Improved Toughness together would give. (There's no way she took anything but Epic Spellcasting at level 21.)

Of course, the correct analysis of her endurance is "Patchy had three spare lives, but got hit four times."

>>165095
That fits with all evidence presented, which is something that no core or Faerûnian transmutation spell does. (I went through most of them. Wish I'd thought of antimagic field beforehand.)
>> No. 165126
>>165099
thing is are you sure she'd come up guilty as it's very obvious Yuyuko set this up for some reason.
>> No. 165136
>>165126
Oh please, it's obviously a Moriya Shrine Conspiracy to keep the heavyweight newcomer out of things while they try and deal with a very angry Buzz Aldrin and his handheld M-30 DAVY FUCKING CROCKETT!
>> No. 165140
Despite decking Patchouli in the face, I still wish we had picked the "drinking ur tea" option, it was actually sensible of all things. It would allow us to calm down a bit, and we would have been able to talk to the person in charge before beating up everyone who we think needs it.
>> No. 165142
we are an angry wizard with ham in our blood and we got tired of people messing with us. I view wiznon like a magical Samuel L Jackson.
>> No. 165145
>>165140
I'll second that.
The strength of this story is not in it's fight scenes, especially when they get silly/stupid like this one.

Sage when I tell you to, damn it.
>> No. 165149
>>165140
let's hope then that by the time his rage fest ends, every bridge hasn't been burnt and the Half-Ghost survives
>> No. 165159
Definitely an 'Antimagic Field', but won't he get a penalty for not announcing his spell card?

That said, I suspect a lot of Wiznon's anger toward the eating corpses thing is due to calling those people "of no consequence". He is an adventurer/hero after all. If they'd just said "it's better than her going around eating living people" he'd probably have taken it better. Ah well.

Wonder what we'll get out of our new prisoner?
>> No. 165160
Unfortunately, the general public appears to prefer wizarding to politicking.

Which, uh, is exactly what the conspirators are expecting. So... well played, Demetrious?
>> No. 165165
>>165159
Well threaten her with "Polymorph any object" to make her even cuter if she won't cooperate.
>> No. 165166
>>165159
YMMV but, what would a Neutral Good character say if he's told that people are getting killed to feed a monster?
'Oh, okay, as long as he doesn't get around killing random people is fine if she eats selected people'?
>> No. 165167
>>165166
To be fair these are people who've killed themselves. Though they may have been manipulated into doing so. Slightly.
I don't think we'll get the whole picture unless we bug Eiki. Surely she'll be annoyed at the extra paperwork she's had to handle due to these people dying on her turf?
>> No. 165169
>>165167
Dunno I get the impression "vampire food" are people who wouldn't really be missed anyways such as the homeless or loners. Yuyuko never made that clear to Wizanon, quite intentionally I feel.

I'm just hoping that the balance of power in Gensokyo isn't royally fucked over due to this.
>> No. 165170
>>165169
Why would it be? It's nothing new.
>> No. 165171
>>165169
I sort of got the impression that the fact that they were loners and "wouldn't be missed" wouldn't really make our wizard less pissed... if anything, the implication seemed to make him even more enraged.

IIRC Wizanon is a bit of a loner himself, yeah? Maybe not as much as the NEETs offing themselves or whatever, but enough to be pissed off about the situation.
>> No. 165172
>>165169

That's the problem, though. These are people, who've just fallen through the cracks and fallen to depression. They're PEOPLE, and someone has up and said "Oh, they're not important. They don't matter."

Basically, Remilia is taking advantage of depressed, suicidal people, and enslaving their spirits to their whim. I, personally, find the notion infuriating. No one has the right to declare that someone else has no value.
>> No. 165173
>>165172

Agreed that if Remilia really is the one actually, actively enslaving the ghosts then she needs a smackdown. But I'm not entirely convinced yet that she is, as opposed to the idea that we're having our chain yanked into thinking she is; some of the details of the story we were given, as has been already mentioned, seem... suspect, at least.

If, on the other hand, all she's doing is snatching corpses of people who died without any interference on her part (and not actually killing them or binding their souls or anything) that doesn't seem (to me) to be on nearly the same level as the other stuff.

>>165140

I'm still holding out hope that, our altercation with Patchy aside, this was actually the least confrontational of approaches. Note that based on what we overheard, even Patchy herself felt it CRUCIAL that we meet with her BEFORE we encountered Remilia. I suspect that might not be without reason, and that we might be able to get info here that aids in pushing any subsequent interactions with Remilia down the right path.

Also, the one main point in our Wizard's favor through all this is that he DIDN'T just directly attack Patchy, he did it the "appropriate" way, through a Spell-Card Rules duel. If simply fighting a single Spell-Card duel irreparably burned bridges, then there'd be a lot more bridges burned around Gensokyo.
>> No. 165174
>>165172
They did that themselves by committing suicicde.

Vampires and youkai eat people. Better that they eat corpses of the already dead then go after living people in my opinion.

Is Wizardanon going to go after all the youkai in Gensokyo after this?
>> No. 165176
Yes, probably.

He seems to be that kind of person.

Of course, not all youkai eats people.
>> No. 165177
>>165174
>Is Wizardanon going to go after all the youkai in Gensokyo after this?
I hope not. I'm liking him less and less as the story goes on; that would be the final nail in the coffin.

And stop fucking bumping this, people. Sage if you're not voting; it's not hard.
>> No. 165179
>>165173
Right now he hasn't done anything that could royally fuck up the balance. Depends on how he deals with Remilia as if he goes too far the balance will be messed up and he'd make more enemies than he had in the first place.

>>165177
I suspect one way or another He'll get lesson on why he shouldn't have a hair trigger temper and what I'm hoping is that the price of said lesson isn't too high.
>> No. 165181
quicksand, copperheads, headcaps
>> No. 165183
>>165172
I agree.

>Is Wizardanon going to go after all the youkai in Gensokyo after this?

Yes, I seriously hope so. Who cares about the balance anyway?
>> No. 165190
>>165183
I'm less worried about balance and more worried about this story getting really, really stupid.
>> No. 165191
>>165190
Eh, this story already has a "stupid" protagonist from the start. If you want to go "stupid", you might as well go all the way out to "hilariously stupid".
>> No. 165194
>>165190
...This story? Stupid? Never! Look at all these incredibly serious excerpts from the story's very first post...
>One morning you abruptly appear in Gensokyo, 357 feet above the ground, along with half of a flaming airship, the better part of clocktower, three wyverns, four giant eagles and a gigantic red dragon.
>With what you will later describe as “consummate skill,” you steer what’s left of the flaming Gnome airship towards the dragon, who materialized below you, losing altitude fast. You’re also choking a wyvern to death with your other hand, but that’s hardly a priority at this point.
>“I’m taking the deposit out of your hoard, you fuck,” you declare angrily, and plunge the short blade of slaying home. Its magic discharges in an instant, and the fell beast expires.
>So passes the great red dragon Lofforanrwenryrrrwharrgrrr, or as you called him, “Loffo.”

Oh wait, yeah, this story is totally silly. I enjoy wizanon being the typical hot-blooded and clueless hero he is.
>> No. 165195
>>165194

At this point, I can only assume they are trolling rather than registering legitimate complaints. Who the heck would follow a story for 23 damn threads if they didn't like the protagonist? The guy hasn't changed since thread one.
>> No. 165196
>>165195
So, is this the famous 'tsundere reader' I've heard to much about?
>> No. 165200
>>165194
>>165191
That's not what I meant.

>>165195
He's a dick. Likable at first, but it wears on you.
And no, he has changed from time to time. But not lately, and he's still a dick.
>> No. 165222
>>165200
So the story hasn't changed, it's just that you don't like this sort of story anymore and now you want it to change to suit your current tastes? Why don't you find another story that suits them, since you're the one who's changed?
>> No. 165225
File 136130055397.jpg - (350.08KB , 1000x563 , 8b16059c08e5b2dbc081e820fb946eea.jpg ) [iqdb]
165225
ITT: Same whiner is posting that he dislikes this quest, over and over.

We aren't a Sorcerer. Charisma and Wisdom are not our forte, nor their related skills. We are not a face. We are a walking artillery piece. And we are doing our job well.
>> No. 165226
>>165225

Exactly. Besides, everyone knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Pretty much from the get-go, Wizanon was the equivalent of a tactical nuke aimed at Gensokyo's sociopolitical/power structure. What we always knew would happen has finally started to unfold.

Me? I'm just gonna strap in and enjoy the ride.
>> No. 165228
>>165226
Indeed.

In fact, I would be gravely disappointed if nothing comes out of this (meaning, at the end of the story, the status quo doesn't change)
>> No. 165231
Christ, people, I posted twice (thrice?) about not liking Wizard lately. That's all. Calm the fuck down.
You don't need to go leaping to the story's defense as soon as someone says they've got some issue with it.
>> No. 165232
>>165231
Eh, I was just stating my opinion, that's all. I meant no harm.
>> No. 165249
nothing to see here people move along until the next story post
>> No. 165254
>>165228
the issue isn't so much change itself but the fact that Wizard is obviously being a pawn in things.
>> No. 165256
>>165254
Then, this option.
>>163668
Let's just do a hostile takeover, shall we?
And laugh when it fails horrifically.
>> No. 165394
File 136246459192.png - (138.36KB , 400x400 , 1354134879393.png ) [iqdb]
165394
The sound of Patchouli's head hitting the smooth wooden floors echoes alone through the Library, the havoc of battle snuffed abruptly as candle-flame. You loom over her, looking down at your vanquished foe, labored breaths drowned out by the ringing echoes of battle still jangling in your head. Caught between the adrenaline surging in your blood, singing for action, movement, momentum, and your muscles screaming for rest, you can only stand in staggering, tenuous equilibrium.

Keine and Meiling approach cautiously, the seconds approaching the duelists. Meiling hefts Patchouli in a bride-carry and bears her away. You grin wearily at Keine as she approaches, adjusting your hat to its proper rakish tilt.

“How d'ya like me now?” you ask.

“You...” Keine trails off, her expression wondering. “That was...”

“Elementary,” you say, flicking some imaginary dust off your robe-sleeve.

“-savage,” Keine states. “No card limit, no first-blood tag-out...”

“Aren't half of them like that?”

“Between Oni, Keine says. “Not humans and weak-bodied magicians. And even when they do play rough, they let their puppets or their wards take the hits and cede when they go down.”

“She insulted my magic,” you bite. “For magicians, that makes it personal. Magic is ev-”

“-all you have.”
“-rything...” you falter.

You don't like that phrasing one damn bit, but it's too late to spin it better, after it's said.

Keine reaches for your face, but you halt her with a gentle gesture. “No healing, not yet.”

“What are you trying to prove?” she snaps coldly, jerking her hand back.

Yet,” you stress. “Come and see, okay?”

Not looking very mollified, Keine escorts you to Patchouli's little nest of stacked books, many of them now toppled from the whirlwinds of your duel. Meiling's crouched over her, examining the growing bruise on her jaw. She stands as you approach and gives you a big smile as you approach.

“Good job,” Meiling says with a smirk. “For a brawler, at any rate.”

You smirk back, sharing a moment of extreme satisfaction with the gate guard.

“She's hardly breathing,” Meiling says, sounding worried now. “Keine, could-” But the schoolteacher is already kneeling over the unconscious magician, hand upon her brow, eyes closed with concentration.

“Leave the bruise,” you and Meiling say in unison, and share another wicked grin. You hook your thumbs in your pockets casually as you size up the buxom redhead. “Now what about you and I?”

“What?” Meiling says, eyes wide as dinner plates for a second. “Oh. Oh, no,” she says, shaking her head. “Patchouli had that one coming for a while now... and you're already inside... and you're paying a social call, not stealing. I'm under no obligation to stop you.” She crosses her arms and glances aside. “And you're-”

Keine rises as Patchouli stirs and moans.

“-you,” Meiling stumbles, “...didn't tell on me before, when you got in so... I owe you one, anyway.”

Meiling kneels by Patchouli before you can reply, helping the muttering girl sit upright. The magician clutches at her bruised jaw tenderly, murmuring incoherently.

“Rise and shine, bitch,” you snap, towering over her, battered, but victorious. Her eyes widen as recollection strikes. She staggers upward with Meiling's help, pushing the gate guard away roughly as she gains her feet, glaring dirks and daggers at you.

“You didn't name your last spell-card,” she says, though the 'how the hell did you do that' is poorly hidden beneath her scowl.

“You probably didn't hear it over the sound of your chin hitting the floor,” you retort, making Patchouli turn an interesting shade of seething rage. “Abjuration. Anti-Magic field.”

Keine, Patchouli and Meiling all regard you with the shame shocked expression. Even the non-casters know what it means for a wizard to discard all his magical potential just to deliver a single, mundane punch.

“Reckless son-of-a-bitch,” Patchouli mutters.

“Now, Miss Knowledge, you're going to tell me everything. About Remilia, about the necromancy you've been working with her, what you hoped to gain by your spying, everything.

“Go to hell,” she snaps.

“Already been, bitch.”

“You... won,” she admits. “I can't stop you, and apperently Meiling won't try. Find Remilia, have your big showdown.”

“Like Reimu? Or Marisa? Playing danmaku duel?” you muse. “This isn't a game to me, bitch. You and Remilia attacked my friends, and you're going to answer for it. I just threw down with you and won, playing by your rules – to make a point. What's the point, Patchouli?”

“You're competent,” she grinds out between clenched teeth, her faced flushing an even deeper shade.

“No,” you reply, shaking your head slowly. “No, Patchouli, that's just a fact. The point is, if I can hold my own playing by the rules, imagine what I can do when I cheat.

Patchouli stiffens at that, eyes widening. “You can't. Even Remilia was brought to heel!”

“I know what I can do. If you don't start talking, I swear upon my life I will pull this Library down upon your head.”

Patchouli does a remarkable fish impression as she processes that.

“You – you wouldn't-

“You tested me once,” you say quietly. “Go ahead. Test me again.”

Patchouli weighs that for a moment.

“... Remilia's a better friend then student.... but clever enough to make headway regardless. Some time ago she asked about Necromancy.”

“Define 'some time',” Keine says.

Patchouli shrugs. “After that hermit with the pet zombie turned up. Caught her fancy.”

“So what did you teach her?” you query.

“Nec-ro-man-cy,” she says, enunciating each syllable slowly for maximum smartass factor. “There are extensive texts in the Library, but it takes a lifetime to master even one kind of magic. I'm an elementalist; couldn't teach her much. She was limited to minor enchantments.”

“... until you got your hands on my workbook,” you finish.

“And had you explain it,” she concludes rather smugly. “Your universal method. Much more accessible.”

You take a deep breath to cool your rising ire. “So why the ghost attack?”

“Remilia's doing,” Patchouli replies tersely. “She had me scry to see if you were there at all. She...” - Patchouli flicks her eyes at Keine warily - “was interested to know Keine lied to Sakuya to cover for you.”

“So why the damn ghost attack!?” you repeat.

Patchouli shrugs. “To test you – that's typical Remilia. She loves watching fights; just ask Meiling.”

“That can't be all. Someone like Remilia never acts so blatantly for such simple reasons,” you say, your prior experiences with vampires coming to mind. “They just want you to think that.”

Patchouli swallows nervously. “She... asked me what a magician faced with an unknown situation would do. I told her.”

“... study up,” you finish. Patchouli nods.

Let him in, Remilia's voice echoes in your head. In fact, give him a tour.

“She played me for a fool,” you hiss, biting down on your anger as you assemble the puzzle pieces. If every Scry was at Remilia's request, it reveals the information she needed, and what she acted on. Still, tipping her hand with the ghost attack was pointless for such a simple deception... unless...

“You stupid, egotistical son of a bitch,” you snarl.

“What now!?” Patchouli objects.

“Not you. Me,” you say. “I was right. We were sent on a wild ghost chase... but it was never about distracting me.”

“Yuyuko,” Keine says immediately. “Obvious answer – see a ghost about ghosts. And her eyes were on the Society. And I had prior friction with them-”

“No, Keine,” you interrupt. “You. She wanted to distract you.”

“... what?” Keine says, nonplussed.

“Patchouli alone is in my weight class,” you tell Keine. “Much less Sakuya... and especially Meiling.” It's hard to cast spells with a broken jaw and your arms tied in a pretzel; which is why you never discount martial specialists – especially if they have innate magic to boot, like Meiling. “Why didn't they just beat the shit out of me and steal my shit? Or just ask me nicely; a research trade, and wave goodbye as I plane-shifted home, with the beating as plan B?”

“Because I would have...” Keine replies instantly, her hands balling into fists. “I... oh.

“You said you'd get stronger as the full moon approached,” you say. “You didn't say exactly how much, though, but I've seen enough to guess. And my guess is, it's more then enough to stomp Remilia's asshole square, right?”

Patchouli snorts. “You don't have a clue, do... you...” her voice dies under the ferocity of Keine's glare.

“Why not wait?” Keine says. “I'll use my power to reveal the knowledge of the necromancer's identity come the full moon – why not wait till the day after, so she had more time to move?”

“You said it yourself,” you tell her. “You took one look at me and knew someone would exploit me. She wanted to be first. And probably why she was so pissed when Suwako came knocking, isn't that right, Patchouli?”

You didn't hear the griping afterward,” she mutters.

“She did play us for fools,” Keine seethes. “Did she – did she really think we wouldn't find out!? DID SHE!?” Patchouli flinches away from the normally-reserved schoolteacher, clearly more afraid of her then you. “She knows what I'm capable of. Is she really that reckless?”

“That's why she had me observing you.” Patchouli replies. “Just in case you actually caught on.”

Keine's expression darkens, her pretty blue eyes cold and hard. “And you didn't tell her yet, did you?”

Patchouli's expression is stalwart as stone, but Keine is unfazed. “Which is why you couldn't have Remilia 'find him first,' right?” Patchouli visibly flinches as Keine throws her own words back at her. “So the Mistress wouldn't know you'd made such a blunder, right?”

Patchouli simply scowls at the floor, hands balled into white-knuckled fists.

“I've known mages like you,” you tell Patchouli. “Locked away in their towers or retreats, utterly devoted to their art, ignoring the world outside...” You remember Patchouli's stacks of trashy paperbacks and clown-porn novels, her flustered, embarrassed caterwauling when you found them. Queasiness rises in your gut as you look at her now, cat ears slumped and tail twitching dejectedly.

“... but I've never met one so gods-damned cold as to live under the same roof as a man-eating beast and call her friend.

Patchouli slams her fists into her thighs in anger and frustration. “I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!” she screams. “I – I don't know anything about that! Remilia drinks blood, not bodies! And Remilia is her sister's keeper. I don't know about Flandre. Don't want to know. Some questions you don't ask. Don't you know that?”

You look up at Meiling, who's clutching her hands together nervously. It takes a moment for her to catch your silent query. “She's...” she shakes her head. “Sakuya sees to Flandre. I...” She shakes her head, looking troubled, uncertain and scared. “I don't dare cross the Mistress. Nobody does.”

Watching Meiling's bright exuberance evaporate into mouselike fear at the mere idea of crossing her master is the final straw. Your heart pounds in your ears as a familiar pressure swells in your skull, right behind your eyes. It always happens like this. They're just another bastard, just another tyrant, just another target. The same crimes, the same cruelties – wearisomely predictable and utterly unremarkable. Until you're minutes from the final fight, ready to dispense dispassionate justice – when you see it.

Helplessness.

Resignation.

Surrender.

Not defeat, or subjugation, but surrender, the utter surrender of people powerless to change a damn thing. Cruelties are cosmic law and their tyrants Gods, for all the chance they have. It's always there, if you look - in the eyes of thee slaves. Or servants. Or soldiers. Especially the soldiers, waves of them vaulting over the smoking corpses of their comrades, undeterred. Even as they're struck down down, as you strike them down, in their eyes, the fading light of their eyes, the certainty that their masters cannot be defied.

In large measure or small, it's always there. And it always pisses you off.

There's just one more thing you need to know...

… what is it?

[ ] “Where is that little bitch?” BATTLE STATIONS.
[ ] “Where's Sakuya?” Sakuya's surprisingly decent once you get past the icebitch act. Would she really chop people up into pies? Ask what nobody else will.
[ ] A question that's been staring me in the face this whole time, but I haven't thought to ask. Write-in chance. If you're screaming WIZARD YOU GIGANTIC MORON, now's your chance to stop buying vowels and solve the puzzle.
>> No. 165395
File 136246500057.jpg - (52.64KB , 500x647 , 1359958783670.jpg ) [iqdb]
165395
Last two weeks were shit pizzas with turd toppings, but finally, here, updates.

>>165231

You're entirely justified. Wizard is a good man... but that's not the same as nice.

Now off to bed for 3 hours of sleep before the morning shift WOOHOO just like old times yehaw
>> No. 165396
[x] First order of business Shapechange into a Planetar, cause Angel traits are boss and we are fighting a big scary evil thing so we need to stay competative.

Part the second, ask Patchouli about what Yuyuko said earlier about Remillia being able to change our very fate, and if that is why they are so certain of her victory. Also WHY IS REMILLIA MAKING GOAST ARMY? seriously Patchy didn't really get to that part, and I don't think FOR POWAH is the only answer.
>> No. 165397
[x] First order of business Shapechange into a Planetar, cause Angel traits are boss and we are fighting a big scary evil thing so we need to stay competative.

I like shapechanging.
>> No. 165398
>>165397
[x] “Where is that little bitch?” BATTLE STATIONS.
Adding to my previous vote.
>> No. 165399
Oh good, you're not dead.
[x] “Where's Sakuya?”
Maybe I'm just dumb but I haven't seen any hint of a puzzle aside from 'maybe the dragon is behind it all'.

OH AND BY THE WAY
>Remilia's a better friend then student
>then
goober
>> No. 165400
[X] Where's Sakuya?
>> No. 165401
[x] “Where's Sakuya?”

I'd like to have her take on this.

Does the Wizard know about basement girl's special ability?
>> No. 165402
File 136247604358.gif - (812.18KB , 322x278 , 1361523730691.gif ) [iqdb]
165402
>>165399

I am trying to give a fuck right now and whoops would you look at that
>> No. 165403
We should prove Remind that she should leave magic to magicians. Find her ghosts and use Control undead on them. Then send them after Remilia.
If we can't do that (for whatever reason [probably we don't have the spell prepared or on scroll]):
[x] Where's Sakuya?
If only because we dont't want her to suddenly pop up when we'll be kicking Remilia ass. We should ask Patchy to call her, less fuss with searching.
>> No. 165404
>>165403
I agree with this guy's plan.

Except the "Remind" part, of course.
>> No. 165406
[X] “Where's Sakuya?”
Deal with the maid now, and Remilia will be all alone for the final fight.
>> No. 165408
[X] “Where's Sakuya?”

I really want to see what she has to say. This should be interesting.
>> No. 165409
[x] First order of business Shapechange into a Planetar, cause Angel traits are boss and we are fighting a big scary evil thing so we need to stay competative.



Regeneration, Damage Reduction, Flight, Natural Weapons, High Strength, Immunity to Acid, Cold, and Petrification, SPELL RESISTANCE, and Tongues and decent Spell-Likes. Definitely supporting this.

Still we should probably go after Sakuya before we go after Remilia. Patchouli's down, but being timestopped and knife'd mid battle with a vampire is too great a risk to leave to chance.
>> No. 165410
sorry for the double post, but here are the stats for a planetar, for reference.

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/angel.htm#angelPlanetar
>> No. 165411
>>165396
This guy. Why a ghost army? A million ghosts wouldn't be enough to stomp Reimu, and it risks pissing off the same handful of stupidly powerful people that can turn Remilia over their knee.

Is this just another Incident business as usual? Or does Remilia think she'll need the help to counter someone else's play, or what? What're they GOOD for?
>> No. 165413
[x] “Where's Sakuya?”

I don't expect her to be friendly about this. Sakuya's loyalty is to the Scarlets first and foremost. But we need to get as much information as possible before confronting Remilia, even if it means pulling back briefly to regain our health.
>> No. 165414
>“So the Mistress wouldn't know you'd made such a blunder, right?”

I don't know what this is refering to



>>165410
It has greater restoration as a spell like ability

How interesting
>> No. 165415
wheres sakuya

we need to deal with time stop maid now less she decides to one hit ko us before we even strike the vamp
>> No. 165416
>> ...removes all forms of insanity

Very interesting...

[x] Ask Kienie what she knows about Flandre, It seems she is in some way the core of the reason of why their doing this, but if she too is a vampire why does she need meat.
>> No. 165417
File 136251591214.jpg - (43.69KB , 500x467 , 1353982800936.jpg ) [iqdb]
165417
>>165414
>“You can enchant little birds to spy on people, send magical constructs to observe from a distance, employ summoned or bound creatures – hell, Patchouli’s got more options than I do. She manipulates spiritual energies like an element, which I can’t. Not even Mystic Theurge’s can dip into Druid territory, like she can.”

>“And yet she scried upon you,” Keine says.

>“Just opened a direct conduit from her mirror to my location. A honking big magical tube with a flaming sign on it, ‘look at me I’m a magic sensor!’ Hell, anybody with enough brainymeats can notice that.

PATCHY DUN GOOF'D
>> No. 165418
[x] Ask what she knows of the whole 'outsider humans disheartening to feed vampires' (to both Patchy and Keine)
[x] Where's Sakuya.

I think asking into that bit is important and maybe might get the Wizard to get off his rageon as going after Remilia and possibly taking her out for good is EXACTLY what the plotters want.
>> No. 165419
[X] wheres sakuya?
[X] find out more about flandre and what power she may have.
get all the angles, find all the info, isolate the big bad from reinforcements. don't need to worry about trash and dragons mid-boss fight.
>> No. 165420
[X] “Where's Sakuya?”

Hopefully she's not so loyal to Remilia so as to support her actions.
>> No. 165421
>>165419
goddamn it, don't you realize that is what whoever is plotting things wants?

I'm hoping finding Sakuya helps set the situation straight before the Wizard does something very regrettable.

I suspect among the big plotters would be Seiga, I mean she's the one who gave Remilia the idea for Necromancy.
>> No. 165422
>>165421
She gave Remi the idea by showing up.
>> No. 165423
Stop ghost bumping this thread fucktard. The author is busy (doing stories elsewhere-no, wait, wrong story-) and update will be made whenever he feels like it.
>> No. 165425
>>165423
>busy

Ha. Hahahahahahaha. Ohhhhhhhh, hahahahahahaha.
>> No. 165426
>>165423
I think you're in the wrong thread, buddy.
>> No. 165427
File 136253020928.jpg - (2.52KB , 124x127 , 1359649483426.jpg ) [iqdb]
165427
>>165425
>> No. 165428
>>165422
I doubt that's all she did. This is the nearest to outright evil touhou character we're talking about. Thus if shit starts happening as a result of a visit from her, I doubt it's by accident.
>> No. 165429
>>165428
>outright evil touhou character
At least she doesn't hide man-eating youkai in her house.

I think.

Yoshika could be a man-eater, you know.
>> No. 165430
I'm still waiting on the whole magic immune dragon moving at the speed of light thing. Cause nothing says boned like dragon to the face
>> No. 165431
>>165428
But Patchy specifically stated that's exactly how Remi got the idea. She saw the zombie, thought 'Imma get me some of that', and then ZOMBAI GOASTS.
>> No. 165432
>>165431
She doesn't exactly come across as knowing everything thats going on
>> No. 165433
>>165429
Remilia isn't exactly hiding Flandre when Reimu and Marisa clearly know about her, along with Akyuu and a potentially large portion of the human population in Gensokyo.
Besides, evil is extremely difficult to define in this context when every 'villain' and troublemaker in Gensokyo caused their respective incidents out of boredom, selfishness, or self-preservation. If we condemn Remilia for hosting a man-eating vampire in her basement, then what about Yuyuko, who wanted to unseal a legendary soul-stealing Youkai tree which would almost certainly condemn countless numbers of people to a fate worse then death just for her curiosity?

From what I can tell, wizardanon is outraged because he doesn't accept the damnation of the helpless Outsiders to an ignominious death. However, I'm just trying to point out that in Gensokyo, there are a number of individuals who actively wanted to cause widespread chaos and death just for their own amusement and curiosity. Standing for the rights of the insignificant Outsiders is morally upright and all, but if he learns about the previous incidents which the other inhabitants of Gensokyo have caused, we'll be sure to learn more about his definition of 'evil' and 'justice' in regards to Gensokyo's inhabitants. I may be on a tangent here, but ultimately, wizardanon is launching a vendetta over an issue that is rather insignificant when compared to the other major incidents within Gensokyo.
>> No. 165434
>>165433
In conclusion...

Sage, goddamnit!
>> No. 165436
>>165429
She basically went and disturbed someone's peaceful rest just to have a servant. Higan sent a big name Kishin after her. In short she's pretty high up on Shikieiki's shit list.

She would be one to start some shit up for her own reasons if not part of some plot. Considering how she likes interesting humans, Wizanon might catch her interest.

>>165431
She knew the gist but I don't think she knew the details.

>>165433
It doesn't help that Yuyuko worded things a particular way as to incite his anger and play off his distrust of supernatural authority. I'm surprised that Keine didn't try to clarify things on the matter.
>> No. 165441
So, I just read the interpretation that Yukari's supplying humans from the Outside World to be eaten by the youkai in Gensokyo.

It would be hilarious to see it be true in this story, just to see how Wizanon would react.
>> No. 165445
Oh.

Oh I <i>think</i> I see...

This is a "Thanatos Gambit." Except not really, because Remilia has reason to believe (FATEHAX FATEHAX FATEHAX) that she'll come out on top.

But it doesn't <i>matter</i>, so long as she comes out alive. Because if you get Wizanon angry enough, he'll come in guns blazing.

And get slapped down. Because we are just not in Reimu's weight class. Not even close. Not when she's playing fair, and definitely not when she's cheating. And if Wizanon gets mad enough to cheat, so will she.

And we don't know what happens to youkai and powerful magicians who get slapped down by Reimu, but whatever it is... no one ever causes an Incident twice.

(Mima is in PC-98, shut up.)

That's what this is about. Balance of power. Wizanon is an outsider with no idea of how things work, blowing stuff up. This whole scenario is engineered to get Wizanon slapped down and brought into the tea-drinking club with the rest.
>> No. 165446
Sameanon. That's why Yuyuko is helping her, essentially - provoking the heck out of Wizanon by telling him about the pies. They don't even have to really exist (though they probably do); the goal is just to get Wizanon mad enough to break the spellcard rules.
>> No. 165447
>>165445
I seriously hope that will never happen. If it does, well, I'm out of here.

I like this story because Wizanon refuses to "play by the rules", so to speak. He doesn't bow down to Gensokyo's way of life. If it stands in the way to his goal, he won't be afraid to break it into two.

We lack OCs like this in Touhou stories, IMHO.
>> No. 165449
Personally, I'm here to see what he /can/ do. So long as it's /reasonable/.

I'm sorry, but there's nothing a nonepic wizard can do against the Reimu tier. Wizanon himself admits that he'd be dead meat against Meiling or Sakuya.

Also, note that nowhere did I say that Remilia would succeed. All we have to do to shake things up anyway is to not lose our temper. If we play inside the rules, we can /change/ the rules - the important ones, like "eating humans is allowed," not the ones that, yannow, keep people safe, like "spellcards /only/."
>> No. 165450
>>165449
Epic level is above 20, right? So, we're getting pretty close.

Also, I'm sure the /tg/ guys here will figure something out. They're masters at figuring out how to maximize Wizanon's potential.
>> No. 165451
>>165441
Most stories choose to gloss over this as it's a good way to make an issue out of thin air.


>>165445
I don't think it's anything that innocent as wizanon could wreak enough havoc that a mere tea party couldn't fix. There's the possibility that whoever's plotting might want a mutual destruction scenario as Wizanon when he gets the drop, could do surprising amounts of damage.

I have no idea what Yuyuko is up to, but the exact way she brought up the matter is very suspicious.


>>165449
The issue is that if "unmissed outsiders" (sucides and such) aren't included then they'll have to start taking them from the human population of Gensokyo.

Wizanon got pissed because Yuyuko worded it as such as normal people are yanked off the streets to do it.

And sage when making a non-vote post. This isn't /tg/.
>> No. 165453
>>165451
>Most stories choose to gloss over this as it's a good way to make an issue out of thin air.

Huh, what do you mean? I'm sure it can be an interesting issue for a story to talk about.

>Wizanon got pissed because Yuyuko worded it as such as normal people are yanked off the streets to do it.

Hmm, so you think he'll be okay with that if he knows they're merely "unmissed outsiders"?

If that happens, well, what a shame.
>> No. 165454
Wizanon can wreak havoc, yes. But Remilia is really, really hard to kill, even for Wizanon, because she regularly splits into bats and if she's as paranoid as she should be, she'll keep one in hiding. And that's all she needs to regenerate completely. Instagib spells generally fail on undead, and save-or-lose mind-affectors generally have will saves that a half-millenium-old vampire will probably pass.

Wizanon might be able to kill her anyway, but more likely he'll defeat her - take her down but not out. Which means that, by the rules, he can dictate terms to her without other people interfering - so there's the change he can make. If he does it outside the rules... eh, he'll still make that change - but he's also going to be slapped down, hard, and Remilia won't feel bound to keep to her word.

Possibly. Or I could be wild
>> No. 165455
-ly speculating.

Also, fail.
>> No. 165461
>>165416
It's also irrelevant because shapeshift doesn't give access to spells or spell-like abilities.
>> No. 165462
[X] “Where's Sakuya?”

If we are just being played somehow by Yuyuko or someone else, this is the right choice, since Sakuya knows the specifics about the Flandre situation that we're so up in arms about, specifics that Patchy admits she just plain doesn't know. Getting the info from her is going to be better than trying to worm speculation from Patchy.

If we're not being played, and Remilia is the "Big Bad" in this situation, then this is still the right choice because the wording in the spoiler text for this choice implies we might well be able to convince her to help, if Sakuya is in the same kind of "cowed by the vampire" situation as Patchy and Meiling.

And even if Remilia is the "Big Bad" AND Sakuya isn't persuadable, it's STILL the right choice because we really don't want to have to deal with timehax AND a vampire at the same time.

In short, such potent allies are good, so it behooves us to try and get as many on our side as we can and/or strip them from the people we may need to go up against.

>>165449

Wizanon admits that either of those two could have taken him out if they'd been sent after him to do so; that's not quite the same thing as him being "dead meat" in every situation regarding them.

I mean, if someone with flat-out unlimited timestop has the drop on you then yeah, there really isn't all that much you can do. But that's not to say it'd be an absolutely unwinnable fight if you had the drop on them instead.

Really, it's just another example of the "rocket tag" principle that applies to so much of high level D&D stuff, and even more so here.
>> No. 165464
>>165453
well it'd be better than letting them prey upon Gensokyo's population and I'd imagine if someone else was talking, she'd say "what do they do with the sucides/etc in your world?"

>>165462
Yep it comes down to who has the drop on who.
>> No. 165471
>>165464
And it'll be much better if they don't eat anyone at all, which should be our Wizanon's goal.
>> No. 165472
>>165471
that's like expecting people not to eat meat or animals not to eat each other.
>> No. 165473
>>165471
Except Youkai eat humans. It's just what they do.

I think our protagonist is being overly idealistic and optimistic.
>> No. 165474
>>165472
So, you think that it is unavoidable for youkai to stop eating humans?

So much for Byakuren's goal then.
>> No. 165475
>>165473
Then, the solution would be to kill or drive away the youkai then. They're just like DnD monsters, except more sentient.

Wizanon hasn't learned of this "fact", has he?
>> No. 165478
>>165475

Gensokyo was founded as a sanctuary for youkai as a refuge away from the outside world. As far as we know from both canon and this story, contact between Gensokyo and the outside youkai is virtually nonexistent, which means that 1. Gensokyo has severed all ties with the outside. or 2. There's nothing left in the outside aside from a few isolated youkai groups such as Tanuki like Mamizou Futatsuiwa.

My main issue is that while Wizardanon is looking out for the interests of the insignificant Outsider, he is completely unaware of Gensokyo's one and only purpose: being a sanctuary for youkai. Thus, if he supports the concept of acting as the insignificant outsider's savior, he would be thus supporting the minority of humans over the majority of youkai, and thus end up having to commit ethnic clensing in order to enforce his ideals.

We'll just have to see how he feels about saving the insignificant humans when he learns about this fact that youkai are favored over humans based on the very principles of Gensokyo.
>> No. 165479
>>165478
Indeed. And I hope he'll choose the right choice.
>> No. 165480
>>165474
her goals are co-existance for the most part. And Yukari's methods has basiclaly kept native fatalites to a low.

Again I state the only reason the Wizard is getting uppity is due to how Yuyuko worded it, making it sound far worse than it actually is.

>>165479
GTFO HFYer.
>> No. 165481
>>165480
GTFO youkai-loving scum.
>> No. 165482
>>165480
I remember reading in SoPM that she wants to stop youkai from eating humans by making them bodhisattvas or something.
>> No. 165483
>>165480
Although he may not accept the demise of countless outsiders, having him know about what would happen to the outsiders if they are NOT eaten by Flandre would probably let him see Gensokyo in a new light. After all, according to Akyuu, Gensokyo is crawling with man-eating youkai who would love to feast on ignorant outsiders. Thus, unless he wishes to commit genocide as a self-righteous human, he would have to accept this reality, unless we guide him to do the opposite...

Yuyuko did egg him on by implying that Remilia was the one harvesting outsiders, but according to my knowledge, these outsiders would have been doomed to die via a random youkai encounter which they have no chance of surviving. It primarily depends on how the outsiders ended up in Gensokyo. From what I can tell, the outsiders wander around Gensokyo's location in the outside, then end up in Gensokyo where they are hunted down and eaten.

If this is true, they are going to die either way, so it doesn't matter if Flandre, Remilia, or a random youkai in particular has a human meal, since one way or another, the outsiders are going to die. Of course, this would lead to Wizardanon blowing a gasket upon learning that the majority of Gensokyo's indigenous population would willingly feast upon defenseless humans, but I think we need to confirm this before we go on a crusade to change Gensokyo.
>> No. 165484
>>165483
I agree. We should gather more information first before doing anything.

But if it's really like that, well, I want to choose the genocide path but ultimately, my choice is futile since you all disagree. You know, majority rule.

Or maybe we could somehow transport all the youkai to DnD world. Yes, that would be the best solution. Probably.
>> No. 165485
[x] “Where's Sakuya?”

The smarter option. Also cause I can;t think of anything better.
>> No. 165487
or we can go route c and break the barrier. No clue how to do it but its bound to do something useful maybe..quite possibly...sort of?
>> No. 165488
>>165487
That would be hilarious.
>> No. 165489
Breaking the barrier earns us a ... chat ... with Yukari.

Also known as, suicide.

Also, Meiling... eh, point. Sakuya, though... well, if I were a DM and I were running a fight against her, my response would be something like:

"Okay, Sakuya makes a reflex save. If she makes it, time stops, you lose. If she doesn't, you get one hit off, hope you make it a good one, because next turn, time stops, you lose."
>> No. 165490
Is it too much to ask for Sakuya to have a limit in her time stop power?
>> No. 165491
>>165483
Pretty sure wizard knows this. It's still monsters preying on people and using their tormented ghosts in their Army of the Damned, which is Not Okay.
>> No. 165492
File 136267464765.jpg - (233.16KB , 966x720 , a_wizard_is_you_thread.jpg ) [iqdb]
165492
[x]Where is Sakuya?

In before a "Right here" just to the left of our ear. Seems like a wizard is you thread alright. Thanks for the updates Deme, keep them coming whenever you get time off from being swarmed by inevitables.

So just throwing an idea out that hasn't been mentioned. Releasing the flandre is always an option for Remi. Which will likely be the case when you realize the story isn't running on sheer mechanics but on narrative. Wizard has a better chance than mechanics monkies realize.
>> No. 165500
>>165489
>>165490
That's what spellcard rules are for.
>> No. 165501
>>165490
And nerf their precious 2hu? Madness!
>> No. 165507
[x]"Where's Sakuya?"
-[x]"And how close is the next full moon, anyways?"

Need more info before dropping them high-end spells, thanks. Wizanon would have to blow all of his good spells dealing with Remi if he went after her, and given that I rather strongly suspect that things aren't as simple as being shown...

Well, I'd rather have more than a couple shots of Color Spray to face down the big bad with.

As for the full moon thing, I have the memory retention of a turnip and can't remember if it's already been stated somewhere.
>> No. 165508
>>165489

That's more or less how I'd run it as well. (Except that a Reflex save isn't ever how you determine who gets to act first in combat. That's precisely what the Initiative rolls represent.)

Either way, though, like you say, the larger point is that you basically end up with one round in which to take her down. (Or, alternatively, one round in which to give yourself MORE time to take her down. If your spell selection includes a spell like, for example, Irresistible Dance, you can give yourself 2-5 free shots on her before timehax can come into play instead of just one.)

But anyway, yeah, even in a "fair" situation where she doesn't get the chance to initiate timestop before you even know she's coming after you, and both combatants are given equal opportunity to react, it still just comes down to a magic quickdraw contest in the end. Not unwinable by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely a risky proposition. (And likely riskier for the wizard than her, since the wizard has to both win Initiative AND either rack up enough damage or have one of his Save-or-Lose spells connect... whereas she just needs to win Initiative.)
>> No. 165512
>>165501
Yeah. Why are Touhou fans such fanboys?
>> No. 165517
>>165501
>>165508

It's not consistent with what she does in character. She maintains the extended size (as in, magnified spacetime) of the mansion in perpuity on her own - Patchouli practically says as much after you beat her in EoSD. That excludes any form of "she can only use it for so long." Then, we know that she uses timestop for trivial things like, well, being a Perfect Maid, and picking up her knives - meaning that either she can do it Ridiculous/day, or she's just flat out unlimited - but at any rate, effectively unlimited in number.

Which... leaves, like, cooldown effects. Which won't help you much, because without the spellcard rules it only takes one.
>> No. 165520
>>165517
Wow, and I thought that was just fanon.

Yep, that settles it. Touhou canon is shitty. Between Eirin being 100 million years old, Reimu's power to float away from reality indefinitely, and now this, there is no hope. ZUN never thought it thoroughly when he made shit up. And he still hasn't explained Sakuya's origins, even though it's been over 10 years already.

inb4 posts defending GRORIUS ZUN-SAMA.
>> No. 165521
>>165512
I'd like to ask why all /tg/ers such e-peen waving jackasses.

As far as the HFY matter? I know the author dislikes heavily the "let's kill/enslave all teh nonhuman" sorts.
>> No. 165523
>>165520
Man, you just can't handle the idea of a powerful setting, can you.

I'd love to see your response to Exalted.
>> No. 165524
>>165521
At least we're not the "let's be friends with the man-eating monsters" sorts.
>> No. 165526
>>165523
Everyone is a Mary Sue in Exalted. Therefore, it's balanced.
>> No. 165527
>>165526
And how, exactly, is Exalted's setting any more balanced than Touhou's?
>> No. 165529
>>165527
Dude, that was a joke.
>> No. 165535
>>165523
There's "powerful setting" and there's "setting where the author just threw things together without thinking how they'd mesh."

"Canon" Gensokyo is just a clusterfuck, and I prefer the many fan interpretations that drastically reduce their power.
>> No. 165536
Actually, whether by purpose or by accident, ZUN has a very good idea of how they mesh.

They mesh as follows: Reimu beats everyone but Yukari outside of spellcard rules. Yukari is lazy. Therefore spellcard rules.

Reimu beats everyone in spellcard rules.

Therefore, the peace of Gensoukyou, because no one wants to piss off Reimu.

(Or Marisa, or Sakuya, or Sanae, or any of the other Incident-solvers.)

Reimu's insane intuition (I'm going to pick a random direction and get to the right place in the end thirteen times in a row) is probably part of this as well.

Really, you can have a bunch of very, very powerful people living in harmony and tea, and it's not even all that difficult. Why would they make trouble anyway? Real trouble, not Incidents, which are unsubtle play-fights and challenges. They screw up too much and either Reimu dies and the Border breaks, or Reimu interferes for real.
>> No. 165537
>>165536
Wow, that is lazy writing right there.

What a waste of a setting.
>> No. 165540
>>165537
Yeah, Touhou is a really stupid and boring setting. I'm sure everyone else in this site agrees.
>> No. 165545
>>165540

I feel that it's an entertaining setting as long as no one thinks about it too hard.
>> No. 165546
For fucks sake, people, you don't even know how Touhou works?
>> No. 165548
>>165517

I'm not sure how what you said above is "not consistent" with what I was saying in the post you quoted, unless I'm misunderstanding your point somehow.

All I'm saying is that how we should expect things to play out in terms of our Wizanon dealing with her is that:

A) If Sakuya ends up deciding that she wants to fight Wizanon before he realizes that she wants to fight him, she can use timehax to "sneak" up on him and auto-win.

B) If Sakuya and Wizanon both end up deciding that they want to fight each other at the same time (like say in the middle of a conversation they're having with each other that goes very bad) then if she wins Initiative she can activate her timehax and auto-win. If, on the other hand, Wizanon wins initiative he has exactly one attack (or attack combo, depending on exactly what spells are used) to try and take her out before she activates her timehax and auto-wins.

Also, though I didn't mention it explicitly:

C) If Wizanon ends up deciding that HE wants to fight Sakuya before she realizes that he wants to fight her, he can pretty easily use divination-invisibility-mindblank-teleport shenanigans to sneak up on her, which would give him exactly one surprise attack (or surprise combo, depending on what spells are used) to try and take her out before she activates her timehax and auto-wins.

None of which contradicts anything you said in your post as far as I can see. Completely regardless of how much she CAN use her timestop, to actually negate the Achilles Heel described above she'd have to never, EVER leave her timestop at all. Which would indeed make her "perfectly unbeatable"... just at the price of never being able to leave that single instant of frozen time that she chose to be "perfectly unbeatable" for.

Consequently, if we can't avoid fighting the vampires, and it turns out we simply can't persuade Sakuya, and Spell-Card rules are off the table for some reason (all of which would be vastly preferable) then all we have left is to aim for B, or preferably C. Which is hardly outside the potential of a high-level Wizard to accomplish, though it would be very much a gamble.

Much more to the point, we ABSOLUTELY want to avoid creating a situation where Sakuya would decide to come after us as per A, since that is, indeed, a situation we absolutely CAN'T win.
>> No. 165550
>>165545
Problem with that is that this entire forum is dedicated to thinking about it too hard.

There's a million and one things you could *Frodo.jpg* about. I prefer to do a general nerfing of Touhou power to make the setting more believable.
>> No. 165551
>>165546
of course not, they're from /tg/ and likely came because there's been no SWQ as of late and/or want to see a wizard curb stomp some non-humans.
>> No. 165555
>>165551
For me, I just want the wizard to curb stomp some Touhous. So stop generalizing.

Reimu is a human, but I still want to see her get beaten up. If she stands in our way, that is.

>>165546
How do Touhous work?
>> No. 165558
>>165535
your definitely making remiu and yukari way to strong. they were defeated by the lunarians weren't they? Is our anti magic field effective against sakuya? If so we just have to worry about the knives
>> No. 165559
>>165558
incoming SSiB-related shitstorm in 3,2,1...

And about anti-magic fields, yes, I think that'll work. Would 10 minutes/level be enough?
>> No. 165560
>>165558
There's a fine line between 'being pummeled into submission' and 'surrendering when the Lunarians threaten to turn Gensokyo into a wasteland over a scheme that you've never planned for either side to fight to the death over', and as far we we all know according to Silent Sinner in Blue, Yukari enjoys double dealing with her 'allies' and playing mind games on her enemies in order to give them the impression that they won when in reality she managed to accomplish all of her goals.
>> No. 165561
>>165560
This and in the end Yukari succeded in her plan of trolling the unholy fuck out of the Lunarians. They might have won the battle, but they're the ones who now worry about some undetectable threat that doesn't exist.

what people don't understand about SSiB is that it's part of a bigger thing and CiLR concludes that plotline.
>> No. 165562
File 13627929245.jpg - (66.39KB , 551x549 , keanu.jpg ) [iqdb]
165562
[X] WIZARD, YOU MORON

[X] Ask Patchouli to tell you everything she knows about the Outsider with the war god that Keine mentioned a while back. From what Keine told you, this guy seems like he might have a few youkai on edge. As Gensokyo was, there may have been no safe way to get rid of him, but your appearance presents an interesting opportunity to a few interested parties.

[x] Someone needs to get rid of this guy. You're an external variable with a lot of power. You're bound to go home eventually, so if someone can manipulate you into doing something about this unwanted outsider or his allies, then they can pass the blame and no one in Gensokyo will be held accountable. This possibility presents a solid motive for those involved, and it doesn't rule out good alignments for the culprit (as they could be trying to protect Gensokyo's safety), allowing for a broader range of suspects.

[x] Even if some pieces still don't fit together, you still can't shake the feeling that this Outsider has something to do with it.


From a meta perspective, if something is specifically mentioned in a story, than it's either foreshadowing or a red herring. In either case, INTENTIONAL. Demetrious wouldn't just drop that in there and have nothing come of it. It's most likely connected to the story. That, combined with the fact that it seems like great story fodder, and what I mentioned at the top, I just can't shake this feeling.
>> No. 165565
>>165562
OH
RIGHT
THE OTHER OUTSIDER
Completely forgot about that guy.
Yeah let's do that.
>> No. 165566
If it was the other Outsider, he'd be making waves; he'd be one of the first people we'd look up. He's probably left by now.

(On a side note, nerfing characters just so the MC can beat them up - or at all - is terrible writing.)
>> No. 165567
>>165566
It's also terrible writing for one side of a crossover to completely overpower the other.
>> No. 165568
I wonder... is there a monster or creature that's immune to Time Stop? If so, maybe we could polymorph into that?
>> No. 165570
>>165568
That would be the Phane.

It's epic.

>>165567
Matter of opinion, that. You can easily have a crossover between two sides of differing powers: simply don't involve the more powerful characters.

For example. Wizanon can't handle Reimu or Yukari. Luckily for him, they're both very lazy, so unless he makes serious waves - like, for example, breaking the spellcard rules - the problem won't come up.
>> No. 165571
>>165568

D&D's Time Stop isn't really a thing you can be "immune" to. It makes the caster move fast enough that everything else seems to be staying still, it doesn't actually affect anyone else.
>> No. 165572
>>165570
But, at this rate, we're going to make "serious waves" sooner or later.
>> No. 165574
Y'know Deme, at some point you're just gonna have to tell us what the fuck is going on, because we clearly lack the mental capacity to figure it out for ourselves.
>> No. 165576
>>165562
What makes me question this is that what we have heard is that Buzz Aldrin is somewhere trying to get in with a portable nuclear device. Or something to that effect.

So what? He's not magical, and Gensokyo residents deal with nuclear shit all the time because of Okuu. He'd go down like a sack of potatoes.
>> No. 165578
>>165576
Not if he's smart.
>> No. 165580
>>165578
Please note, however, that most of the reason that Remilia wasn't discovered, like, ten threads ago, was because she had a wizard friend to counter scrying attempts.

Without that, a target becomes much, much squishier.
>> No. 165587
>>165580
We'll see.
>> No. 165591
File 136293747169.jpg - (25.98KB , 1024x435 , wraithteleporting.jpg ) [iqdb]
165591
>>165570
Shit.

Well, it's either disjunction (with a 83% chance of failure and a chance of losing all spellcasting powers forever in sucess) anti-magic field (pretty useless in this case, she can just walk out) or a time stop in the moment she returns to the normal timeline.

I think the best shot we have is increasing his reflexes so he can kick her ass when she gets close, a la John Wraith
>> No. 165593
>>165591
Disjunction what? I highly doubt that she depends on the Luna Dial for her timestop - for starters, good luck reaching into your pocket in the middle of a knifefight.

Sakuya also gives zero effs about an AMF, because she'll just do what she does in canon: spam knives around the border of it. Best case scenario is that we get a reflex save - oh, wait, she can just set up multiple shells of knives. I don't think we can make twenty saves against Sakuya in a row.

Frankly, our single best spells against Sakuya will be first-level: Nerveskitter, and maybe True Strike.
>> No. 165594
>>165593
Or we could just, y'know, spellcard duel her.
>> No. 165595
>>165594
Now where's the fun in that?
>> No. 165596
>>165595
Took the words right out of my mind.
>> No. 165601
>>165593
Not that guy, but.. How else would she be able to stop time? Whether or not she needs to physically touch the item to activate it, the most probable reason for her powers is the clock.
The only other options are that it's something else giving her those powers (and that would be what, her maid outfit?) or that she just has an innate control over time for no apparent reason.
Of course, this being Gensokyo, that option is only marginally less likely than the Luna Dial.


Gotta love overpowered 3rd party spell. (Almost as fun as the overpowered core spells.) Hey, Wizards already automatically win 90+% of their fights as soon as they win initative, so lets give them the option of sacrificing a level 1 spell slot to gain a bigger bonus than Improved Initiative on one roll. Because we all know how much they need their low level spell slots to be effective.
>> No. 165603
[X] “Where's Sakuya?”

Sakuya seems to have at least a halfdecent head on her shoulders. Let's at the very least hear her side out first.

>>165601

>nerveskitter
>third-party

>third-party
>written by Wizards

Pick one.

>> No. 165608
... Neverskitter is Spell Compendium. Which is Wizards.

Also, given that Reimu naturally has the ability to float and Sanae's a living goddess? And that Sakuya may not even be human? For that matter, it might have originally been from the Luna Dial and she picked up that one spell from it.
>> No. 165620
>>165568
in baldur's gate several end level monsters were immune to time stop, though that is more 'writer's fiat' than anything concrete


>>165576
Pretty sure you mean Primarch Neil Armstrong
>> No. 165623
>>165601

According to canon, Sakuya's ability is completely innate, as when Reimu and Marisa were pinned by a cage of blades by Watatsuki no Yorihime during the second Youkai invasion of the Moon, she was able to utilize her ability with a simple gesture and grab Yorihime from behind. This has no relevance with her watch, as Yorihime is extremely intelligent and was able to discern how Reimu, Remilia, Marisa and Sakuya fought during their Spell Card duel, but was completely mystified as to how Sakuya was capable of teleporting in a pinch. Considering that Yorohime is an extremely skilled warrior and a quick learner who was able to discern how Sakuya utilized her 'time stop', but did not state that Sakuya was using a device whatsoever, I believe that we can safely conclude that the watch is merely a decoy that is intended to distract those who actually believe it's the locus of her power.
>> No. 165625
>>165620
>email field says sega
Only Crix.
>> No. 165640
The other thing to keep in mind as we're doing all this is that we still haven't really tracked down who sent the gazebo after us... unless we think that Remilia also somehow managed to work magic that we (IIRC) evaluated as epic-level CLERIC magic. So regardless of what happens with Sakuya, we should keep in mind that there's most likely at least one other party out there actively gunning for us.

Might not be a bad thing to ask Patchy about, actually. But on the other hand I don't know if it's worth spending the entire "vote-turn" on it as a write-in given that it could also just be attributable to Remilia through Tohou magic just being different. Don't know how that would work if it turned out to be a non-action. Would we have blown our "turn"? Whereas getting Sakuya's perspective (and potentially aid) is probably a win regardless.

Anyway, still, the gazebo's potentially-unknown animator is definitely something our wizard shouldn't forget in all this, one way or the other.
>> No. 165714
Hey. I was just rereading the archives of this awesome story, and I just noticed something I think everyone missed. When Wizanon's first talked to a ghost with Youmu, the ghost was Already On Patrol, and was hit by the Airship when it crashed.

I'm sorry if I've completely misread the latest update, but How could Patchouli have learned Necromancy from us and have used it to bind spirits Before we showed up?

Am I missing something there, or what?
>> No. 165715
>>165623
not disagreeing, but it could also mean she uses it as a catalyst (hope I'm using the right term) to reduce the amount of stress on her body for using her powers
>> No. 165716
>>165714
That was a living dude that got hit by the ship and died, leaving behind a ghost.
>> No. 165723
>>165714
She could manage basic stuff, bind weak spirits, on her own. She needed something more to manage heavy duty badass zombai ghosts.

As wizard will soon learn~
>> No. 165725
File 136382373233.png - (141.18KB , 468x271 , 1363556752626.png ) [iqdb]
165725
NEW THREAD >>165724

>buckle up for safety motherfuckers
>> No. 166045
Meet the new thread, same as the old thread