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File 134472322992.jpg - (305.34KB , 850x1301 , Red Text - White Background.jpg ) [iqdb]
160588 No. 160588
Oh damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it!

You forgot what day it was!
How could you forget?!
How could you forget?!

You had to move.
Now.

Throwing off your blankets, you vault out of your bed and charge out of your room.
Two point five seconds.
Down the hall, removing shirt as you go, skid to stop in front of bathroom, open door.
Three seconds!
Enter bathroom, turn on faucet, check face in mirror. Note continued lack of facial hair.
Two seconds, and a smidgen of disappointment.
Splash face, brush teeth. No time for shower. Apply copious amounts of deodorant, instead.
One minute, thirty-nine seconds!
Dry face, turn off faucet, leave bathroom, close door, dash back to room.
Three point two seconds!
Open drawers, old underwear off-...wait, you're not wearing any. Whatever! Put on clean...wait, those are still missing. Damn you, Koishi!
Four seconds, and a realization of why you felt a draft in here.
Screw underwear, you'll freeball today! Assemble uniform! Pants! Socks! Shoes! Shirt! Blah blah blah! All there! Good! On with them all!
Six seconds...seven...eight...ten...goddamn it, necktie. Why must you mock me, so?!.

“O-oh! Here, um, I can...um...do that...”
“Ah, thanks, Medi. You're a life-saver!” you say, feeling relieved as she reaches up to fix your tie for you, her experience in assisting you showing as she deftly ties a perfect knot, even while completely averting her eyes from you.

Why is she looking away from you, anyway?
For that matter, why is her face so red?

No matter! You can just ask her about it later, you're sure!
Now then, where did you leave your bag, again?

“Here it is~!”

“Thanks, Koishi!” you say, taking your bag from her outstretched hands, and doing your best to return her unusually-wide grin with a smile of your own.

Now armed for educational battle, and brimming with confidence at having dressed yourself in almost record time, you stand ready to face the day ahead!

“Alright! Let's go!”

“Yaay~!”

“H-huh? Ah, um, r-right!”


Making your way down the stairs and out the front door, pausing just long enough for Medicine to go back and grab the lunches her mother had prepared, the three of you begin your mad dash towards school.

Running as fast as you can, you pay little heed to anything but your destination.
Crosswalks? Blind corners? HA!
You laugh at such trivial obstacles!
Not that anyone around here drives anything larger than a bike, of course, but still!

Though you realize that you had neglected to have any form of breakfast before leaving, the fact that you did not have anything even remotely resembling a piece of bread in your mouth as you ran along meant that, at that moment, you were unstoppable!
Nothing will stand in your way, this morning!

...aside, that is, from the rather large book bag that was suddenly hurtling straight towards you.

That looks like it could stop you pretty well.
Assuming it hits, of course.


[ ] BLOCK!
[ ] DODGE!
[ ] PUNCH!
[ ] HEADBUTT!

>> No. 160589
[X] HEADBUTT!

When life throws you problems, you BULLDOZE ON THROUGH!

Also, I am perfectly okay with this sudden change of pace.
>> No. 160590
>Protag runs around room in the buff.
>Koishi, Medi still in room.

Oh Protag, why do your hijinks amuse us so. And flustered Medi is adorable.

[X] HEADBUTT!

I think we can take it.
>> No. 160596
[♠]CAVEHEADBUTT!
>> No. 160597
[x] DODGE!
>> No. 160599
[X] HEADBUTT
We took a nail and a giant ice hammer to the head. I think we can handle a book bag.
>> No. 160600
[x] HEADBUTT!

POWER THROUGH THE BLUNT FORCE HEAD TRAUMA
>> No. 160601
[X] HEADBUTT!
You know you want to. Nobody needs those brain cells anyway.
>> No. 160604
I am fully content with this story right now. No desire to rush.

[x] HEADBUTT!

Technically, the bag is flying, not standing. We're good!
>> No. 160608
[X] HEADBUTT!

This option was made for us.
>> No. 160615
[X] HEADBUTT!
Outta the way book I've got some learning to do.

I am liking how things are progressing.
>> No. 160621
[X] HEADBUTT!

a.k.a. BLOCK WITH YOUR FACE!
>> No. 160633
>>160590
>Koishi has an "unusually wide grin" after seeing this
Heh.

[x] HEADBUTT!
>> No. 160671
File 134483817368.png - (63.47KB , 616x344 , right in the kisser.png ) [iqdb]
160671
What's this?
A book bag?
A mere book bag would dare attempt to halt your journey?!
You'd laugh if you had the time for such a thing!

In the precious second before it hits you, your brain processes the threat and arrives at two courses of action you may take to deal with this situation: dodge the incoming book bag, or strike it down.
Though dodging would be a quick and efficient approach to take, and posed less risk of injury than striking it if the bag were filled with bricks or something similar, the far more rational part of your mind reminds you that you were currently in the company of two girls, and the more dangerous approach is almost always the more impressive one.

So, striking the bag down, it is!
But merely swatting it aside will simply not do!
No! Not even punching it would suffice!
If you are to confront this obstacle, you would do it in the way that a man should confront all of life's problems, and meet it head-on in the most literal way possible!

Like the hammer of a gun, you cock your head back, ready to fire, and in one swift motion...


CONTACT

Pain surges through your skull as it takes the full force of the blow. Reeling backwards, it's all you can manage to simply remain standing. From behind you, a pair of shocked voices echo in your head, punctuated by the sound of footsteps approaching. Above it all, however, a third voice dominates, booming loud and clear from somewhere in front of you.

HO HO HO! WELL DONE! WELL DONE! AS EXPECTED OF MY DISCIPLE!







-----------------------------------

More to come tomorrow, when I am hopefully not quite so tired.
>> No. 160673
Yuugi training him in the art of breaking rocks with his face?
>> No. 160676
Oh god, what happens if that's Tenshi. Talk about role reversal.
>> No. 160677
See? I knew we could handle it without falling unconscious yet again.
>> No. 160683
File 134492287671.jpg - (127.17KB , 480x640 , KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.jpg ) [iqdb]
160683
Rubbing what you can already tell will be a rather noticeable bump on your head for the rest of the day, you open your eyes and are greeted by a sight that has unfortunately become rather familiar to you, lately.

BUT DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE A MASTER YET! THAT IS BUT THE MOST BASIC OF BASICS! THE BASICEST OF THE BASICS!” the strange little girl shouts with remarkable force for someone her size, arms folded across her chest.

“Good morning to you, too, Cirno.” you say, making no effort to conceal your lack of enthusiasm at the prospect of dealing with her so early in the day. Though the whole 'pretending you're her student' bit kinda weirded you out, you don't mind that nearly as much as the fact that just about any form of interaction you've ever had with her has involved her throwing something at your head at some point. Sometimes ice cubes. Mostly rocks.

...you don't like the rocks very much.
Not very much at all.

OH-HO! SUCH INSO-....in...insoluble? ...ah HOW DARE YOU, TO NOT ADDRESS ME AS 'MASTER'!? BUT I SHALL BE MERCI...mercy...” your 'Master' declares, doing her best to maintain her veneer of confidence even while stumbling over her words. “MERCY BOW-COOP!

She doesn't do a very good job of it.

I SHALL BE MERCYBOWCOOP IN LIGHT OF YOUR...YOUR....your...um...”

Just from the look on her face, you can easily envision the little train in her mind grinding to a halt, its tiny breaks squealing as a miniature herd of cattle lazily mill about the tracks.

Being somewhat experienced in the art of zoning out, yourself, you wouldn't be surprised if she could stay like that for a while, if left undisturbed...


[ ] Ditch her. You do not have time for this.

[ ] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

[ ] Stare. Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.
>> No. 160684
[x] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

I think we might have just met Karma.
>> No. 160685
>...you don't like the rocks very much.
Le gasp.

>>160684
Still, even if it is karma thats still pretty hilarious.
>> No. 160686
[X] Stare. Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.

Pressure her to do something?
>> No. 160687
[ ] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

This is a school setting, so naturally, we're going to take the harem route.
>> No. 160688
[x] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

A wish I didn't know I had was just granted.
>> No. 160689
[X] Ditch her. You do not have time for this.
Sorry, we have to get going, or we'll be late.
>>160685
Rocks are only fun when you're the one throwing them.
>> No. 160690
[X] Ditch her. You do not have time for this.

Going, going going, gone.
>> No. 160691
>>160689
Rocks thrown by a cute girl without malice, not fun? No way.
>> No. 160692
[x] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

Cirno is the best teacher.
>> No. 160693
[x] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

This just keeps on getting better.
>> No. 160696
File 134496799443.jpg - (127.49KB , 850x478 , Cirno-nee_full_1136138.jpg ) [iqdb]
160696
[x] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

We must obviously collect our harem in this world. Pic related.
>> No. 160698
[x] Help her. Grab her and run.
Can't have any distractions, we're late enough as is.
>> No. 160700
Why are people assuming we're late? The possibility hasn't been mentioned in-story by anyone.
>> No. 160702
[x] Help her. Maybe she won't bother you later if you do.

I must admit, I shall shed a single tear of regret for the loss of Cirnoir, but I guess this Cirno is ok too.
>> No. 160793
File 134510843621.jpg - (469.12KB , 1100x700 , STOP RIGHT THERE something something SCUM.jpg ) [iqdb]
160793
You shouldn't get involved.

You really shouldn't.

You know what usually happens when you get involved.

Oh, sure, sometimes you can be of help to your fellow students, but other times? Other times, you find yourself cornered in an alley behind the convenience store with your fellow student pointing a box-cutter at you.

Then again, Mizuhashi did seem to mellow out once she started taking those pills, and she did seem genuinely remorseful afterward, and you did tell her you forgave her and offered to treat her to lunch or something at the cafe sometime to show there were no hard feelings despite the fact that you clearly picked that place and time of day because of how busy and full of potential witnesses it would be, and-

...well, the point is, you're something of a sucker for cute girls, and that is pretty much why you're not going to do what you know you should do, which is not get involved, and instead do the thing you know you shouldn't do, which is the opposite of the thing you are not doing.

Or rather, are doing.

...not...are...

You're not going to not...

Fuck it.. You're just going to help her.
That's all there is to it.

“A-are you okay?!” Medicine asks you, her expression switching from one of concern to contempt and irritation as she glances back and forth between you and the zoned-out girl in front of you.

“Yeah, Medi, I'm fine.”

Touching the sore spot on your head once again, you wonder just what you should do. Wanting to help someone is all well and good, but you have to know how you're going to go about doing it.

Hit her?
Tempting, but you don't see that accomplishing much beyond giving her a reason to try to attack you again later.

Grab her and carry you with her?
As much as you need to not be late on your first day back to school, you're not sure striding into the front gates with one of the school's resident nutjobs in your arms or over your shoulder is really the best idea. Certainly not unless you had a very, very, very good reason to be doing such a thing. Something like...

THERE YOU ARE!

...something like a very, very, very angry-looking Tenshi sprinting towards you with a sword in her hand. That would almost certainly be a good reason.


Wait a minute.

Tenshi.
Angry.
Sword.

Even disregarding the whole “approaching you at high speed” aspect of the equation, that's still not a very good combination.

If there's one hard-earned lesson you've learned in your time here, it's that if a girl is angry at you, and they know where you are, then don't be there. It doesn't matter why they're angry, or what your relationship with them may be, nothing but pain and sorrow awaits the fool who stands their ground instead of fleeing while they still have the chance.

“Uh, guys? RUN!” you shout, scooping the dazed and muttering Cirno up in your arms before breaking into a sprint of your own.

W-WHA-?! HEY!” your sword-wielding classmate yells, her tone making it quite clear that she was not happy to see you running away from her. “GET BACK HERE!


Not happy, and not very far behind you.

And so you run.
And run.
And run.

However, no matter how fast you run, it never seems to be enough to shake the angry girl behind you.

The angry girl who was chasing you with a sword for some reason.

The angry girl who, if you recall correctly, happened to be a member of the track team.


...you're not quite sure why, but you think you might be screwed.

No, not in a good way.



[ ] Go all out! Both of you, run like you want to win!

[ ] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

[ ] Jettison your cargo! Pray you don't get a bounty put your head later!

[ ] Stop! Dropping and rolling is optional.
>> No. 160795
File 134510920476.jpg - (462.66KB , 836x1180 , serafuku29102696_p1.jpg ) [iqdb]
160795
I kind of assumed he'd start tossing out words. But tossing a Cirno over his back is fine too.

[x] Go all out! Both of you, run like you want to win!

Track team members like running. It's what they do for fun. Why not let her have her fun and incidentally tire her out so she can't administer whatever she wishes to administer as harshly as she otherwise would?
>> No. 160796
Resident Tsundere Hooohh.

Not sure what to choose, will wait for other votes.
Still depending on the type of track she runs, she probably excels at straight sprints and is average at turning. Like a drag racer.
>> No. 160799
[x] Go all out! Both of you, run like you want to win!
>> No. 160800
[X] Jettison your cargo! Pray you don't get a bounty put your head later!
Drop the baka and run, damn it!

Also, if this was a dream, wouldn't getting killed (or beaten into unconsciousness) wake us up? Also, will our actions here impact what exactly happens to us when we finally decide to wake up?
>> No. 160802
>>160800
Come on man, Cirno has had enough head injuries for one story. Dropping dream Cirno while running is just asking for one.
>> No. 160807
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

Evade, evade! Shake her!
>> No. 160810
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!
DODGE STRIKE
>> No. 160814
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

Grazing is always the best option.
>> No. 160821
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

A crocodile is like a angry girl holding a sword.
>> No. 160827
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

Sure she can run fast, but can she turn quickly enough to not lose sight of her target?
>> No. 160829
[x] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

When in doubt, perform actions that correspond to funny words.
>> No. 160831
[Baka] Jettison your cargo! Pray you don't get a bounty put your head later!
She's on the track team, she's dealt with smarter hurdles.

Therefore:

[YES] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!
Tenshi is a crocodile. Be very sure to throw chicken behind you to distract her.
>> No. 160834
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!

Sure, she can outrun us in a straight line. BUT CAN SHE OUT-TURN US?!
>> No. 160864
>>160802
How do you know we'll drop her on her head? We could easily drop her on something else.
>> No. 160874
[X] Take evasive action! She might outrun you, but can she out-zig-zag you?!
Let's not get our butt kicked
>> No. 160878
[x] Jettison your cargo! Pray you don't get a bounty put your head later!


>>160864
HERESY
>> No. 160896
File 134544824898.png - (440.32KB , 800x600 , STOP RUNNING WHEN I'M CHASING YOU.png ) [iqdb]
160896
STOP RUNNING, DAMN IT!

'Yeah, that's going to happen' you think to yourself, as you wonder how anyone could yell so loudly while running so fast. Between the strength of her voice and the few glimpses over your shoulder you allowed yourself, you can see no sign of your pursuer getting even the tiniest bit winded.

Good for her.
Not so good for you.
Not so good at all.

“OH-HO-HO! Excellent! EXCELLENT! Onward, my faithful steed! Mush! Mash! And all that other stuff!”

...of course, the 'praise' from your 'master' was not helping matters.
How did you go from being her 'disciple' to her horse, anyway?

In any case, you know you can't hold out like this. Even if you were completely unencumbered by your book bag and a crazy girl, you still would have no hope of outrunning Tenshi. That girl's like a damn cheetah.

A cranky, blue-haired, sword-wielding cheetah.

The most dangerous predator of all, at least until an even bigger, more dangerous predator comes along.
Most likely one with a gun.

A cheetah with a gun? What a terrifying prospect that is!
Then again, just about any predator with a projectile weapon would be something to be feared, be it a bear with a bazooka or a shark with a slingshot.

In any case, simply running straight ahead like you currently were was going to accomplish nothing besides delaying the inevitable. If you were to have any hope of getting through this morning unscathed, let alone through the rest of the day, you had to step up your game. Reasoning that much of Tenshi's running experience consisted primarily of running in either straight lines or really big ovals, albeit doing those things really fast, there might be a chance that she is not as skilled at taking sharp, sudden turns.

Or so you hope.

First, you try to run in a zig-zag pattern; a tactic you once learned from one of those educational programs devoted to teaching people how to piss off dangerous animals, as well as how to run away from dangerous animals after you've pissed them off. And so, you zig and you zag, moving from side to side on the sidewalk with all the grace of a drunk with an inner ear infection.

A cursory glance behind you reveals that your tactic is not very effective.

Wondering, at first, if you should not have zigged when you zagged, you quickly realize that you simply were not zigging or zagging enough.
You needed to turn harder!
Faster!

Harder and faster!

As you blow through an intersection, barely taking the time to look both ways as you dash across the street, you realize what you must do.

The sound of feet pounding on the concrete behind you growing louder by the second, you know you have to act quickly, yet prudently. One second too late or too early, and your efforts will be wasted. Seeing the next intersection rapidly approaching, you do your best to not betray your intentions, and when the moment finally arrives...

I SAID GET BACK HERE, DA-HEY![

...you make your move as you hit the corner, juking slightly to the left before cutting sharply to the right.

Clearly not expecting such a maneuver, Tenshi continues running across the street before making her own sharp turn. Though mildly relieved to have put even a little bit of distance between the two of you, you don't dare to think that it would end with just that. Already, you can see her once again closing the distance, and with her now across the street rather than behind you, you won't be able to cross over without running straight into her.

With your options for escape rapidly slipping away, it looks as if your only chance is to make another right turn at the next intersection. It might put you on a course leading away from your school, but what other choice do you have?

[ ] Take the next right! You'll just have to circle back around when you get the chance.

[ ] Full speed ahead! Run until you can't run no more!

[ ] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!
>> No. 160897
[] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!

Once we collide and she inevitably tries to grapple, substitute Cirno in.
>> No. 160898
Hmm, skip school or get caught. Hmmmm.

[x] Stand your ground.

Take your beating like the man sissy you are. On the ground screaming not the face. Then changing your mind as she goes for the family jewels.
>> No. 160899
[x] Full speed ahead! Run until you can't run no more!

Haha, like anything has a chance against RAMMING SPEED!
>shark with a slingshot
This is one of the least-threatening things I've ever imagined. Unless the shark is IN the slingshot. Then we might be getting somewhere.
>> No. 160901
[X] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!

Fortune favors the bold and all that. Hopefully.
>> No. 160902
[x] Full speed ahead! Run until you can't run no more!
>> No. 160904
File 134547972341.png - (278.91KB , 256x192 , Substitute.png ) [iqdb]
160904
>>160897
UNNAMED MC USED SUBSTITUTE!

[x] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!
>> No. 160906
[X] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!
>> No. 160907
[X] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!
>> No. 160910
[X] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!
Let's show her what we got!
>> No. 160911
[x] Full speed ahead! Run until you can't run no more!
We can do it! Sure, we almost fainted when we pulled this off against the bush/kappa, but we're in a much more stable environment this time! There's no way we can fail! Exclamation marks!!!
>> No. 160912
[ ] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!

When in doubt, run towards it at high speeds, possibly carrying a little fairy as sacrifice.
>> No. 160913
[«] RAMMING SPEED! If you're going down, you won't go alone, damn it!

We do have a icy, blue battering ram...
>> No. 160914
>>160913
You do remember what happened the last time we tried using Cirno as a battering ram, right?
>> No. 160915
>>160914
I don't. That was probably more than a year ago.
>> No. 160916
Same i just remember using her as a boat. And what a nice boat too.
>> No. 160918
>>160916
Gah, do you guys remember anything from the beginning? Like the SDM? Meeting Aya? The incredible amount of brain damage we gave Cirno? Meeting Medi? The box? The blood that the author suspiciously wants us to remember? Anything?
>> No. 160921
>>160918

Well lets see, i remember the box, the SDM, the incredibly smart idea to smash our head into a brick wall to get out of there. Didn't we also use cirno as a club? I remember meeting medi. Don't remember the blood though.
>> No. 160931
>>160921
Way back in the first thread before we even got to the SDM, "Washing your hands, splashing your face, getting the dried blood off,"
>> No. 160932
>>160931
Yeah, exactly. I mainly remember the blood because of what the author said. It was something along the lines of "You remember that? GOOD" Nothing like ominous approval to force you to remember something.
>> No. 160934
>>160932
I faintly remember, hard to remember when most of anon going "lolrandumb"
>> No. 160935
>>160932
Did we ever figure out if that was our blood, or someone else's?
>> No. 160937
>>160935
No. The author dropped that one comment, and that was it. Nothing else. It's made me so damn curious about that, and the box, and about the MC in general, because there's something wrong with him, and it isn't just the evil spirits that recently possessed him. What about his missing memories that were briefly mentioned in the beginning? It's all curious, cryptic, mysterious, and interesting.
Also, damn my forgetting to sage my original post of this.
>> No. 160939
So, I only now get that the uniforms in OP's picture are taken from the Ichigo 100% manga. I guess I'm a bit slow.
>> No. 160976
File 134571286652.jpg - (91.16KB , 713x502 , OPERATION - NEED MORE COWBELL.jpg ) [iqdb]
160976
Still no update. Sorry about that.
I had another one of those days where I needed to remind myself of how well I function after an all-nighter and only three hours of sleep.

Simply put, I don't.

I'll try to have something tomorrow night, but the day after is probably more likely.

Also, why does it feel like any time I start thinking it's about time to remind you guys of something, I see somebody's already done it for me, kinda?
>> No. 160979
>>160976
Three hours? Ouch. I hope you get some sleep.
Also, the answer to your question is that you've got a reader who A- likes plot, and B- read the whole story up to the kappa/bush part in four days, and has a fresher memory. Hint: it's me.
>> No. 161048
File 134593175058.jpg - (344.00KB , 627x885 , toast equals collision.jpg ) [iqdb]
161048
You can't outrun her.
You simply can't do it.
You know it.
She knows it.
It's only a matter of time before she catches you, and then...well, you don't really know what happens at that point. Probably nothing good for you, you would assume.

So, what do you do?
What can you do?

Though surrender might be an option for lesser men, you had been raised better than that!
No, the only options anyone should ever seek are either victory, or death.
Since you can see no hope for victory, here, then your choice is clear.

Not that you would simply roll over and die, of course.

As your old mentor once told you, 'If you've got to go, then make sure to take all those sons of bitches down with you!'

Though you did not understand her words at the time, least of all because you were in preschool and supposedly learning how to finger-paint, you still knew words to live by when you heard them, and boy did you ever hear them. How could you not, what with the way she was screaming as the authorities dragged her away?

In any case, you knew what it was that you must do.
If Tenshi was going to take you down, you were going to take her down, too!
Mutually-assured destruction.
The perfect plan.
The only way to win is to not play.

And you intend to play.

Glancing across the street, you see Tenshi has now almost even with you. No longer yelling at you to stop, she instead appears to be glaring intently at you. Even from across the street, you see the faint but distinct glimmer in her eyes that she gets whenever she slips into her 'competitive mode'.

Little did she know, the game was about to change...

“FASTER! FASTER! SHOW HER THAT-huh?! H-hey! What are you-?!” the girl in your arms cries out, but you pay her no mind.

All that mattered now was your mission.
Your one, final objective.
Veering sharply to the left, you bound off the curb and onto the street and charge straight at your target.

You see her eyes, alight with the fires of competition, widen with surprise as your own vision narrows.
You see nothing but you and her.
You, and your target.

At that moment, you see nothing else.

Hear nothing else.

Not the birds in the skies.

Not the girl in your arms.

Not your feet on the asphalt, nor the voices calling out from behind you.

Not even the horn that was loudly blaring, nor the large truck it belonged to.




[ ] Press X to not die.

[ ] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

[ ] Waggle controller to look silly.

[ ] Mash keyboard to reload save from one half-second ago.
>> No. 161049
[x] Waggle controller to look silly.

We must waggle the controller to throw Cirno to safety!
>> No. 161050
[X] Waggle controller to look silly.

Waggle to interact and throw objects. Try to hit the sidewalk for a high score. Hitting the street will cause a penalty.
We're going down, but there's no need to take Cirno with us. Toss her out of the path of collision.
>> No. 161051
[X] Waggle controller to look silly.

Well shit.
>> No. 161052
[X] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

WHY ARE WE PICKING OTHER THINGS
>> No. 161053
[x] Press X to not die.

I wanna see where this goes. Even if it makes me a heretic.
>> No. 161054
[X] Waggle controller to look silly.
Inception logic: we die in the dream, we wake up. I would have said to reload the save, except, you know. Evil spirits. Mind. Need to get out. Others. Find. Yuuka. Fix size. Before she kills us.
>> No. 161055
[x] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

Those human-machine relationship barriers need to be broken some time or another.
>> No. 161056
[X] Press X to not die.
>> No. 161059
[x] Press X to not die.
>> No. 161060
As much as I hate to use a moderately serious vote in this story...

[X] Press X to not die.
>> No. 161063
[X] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

This is the only option that's completely in-character.
>> No. 161065
[B] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

Why Bus, is that a new fare collection box you're wearing?
>> No. 161067
[X] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

Let's be crazy
>> No. 161068
[X] Waggle controller to look silly.
Come on people we shouldn't take Cirno down with us.
>> No. 161069
[X] Press X to not die.

Go protag danger gives you super strength!
>> No. 161070
[x] Press X to not die.
[x] Waggle controller to look silly.
-[x] Get out of the way of the vehicles, and bring Cirno along with us. If this is impossible throw Cirno out of the line of fire.

[x] Once safe, hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.
>> No. 161075
[X] Waggle controller to look silly.
>> No. 161076
[x]Rapidly press X to not die

Suddenly a boss fight.
>> No. 161078
[X] Hold Δ to ask bus out to dinner.

I will piss against this tide until the whole sea is piss!
>> No. 161110
I am not sure if I am doing something wrong by posting here, but I had a quick question about thread number 17 of this story. where did it go? I can't seem to find it at all. all I end up getting is a '404 not found' page, did it get taken down? or is it just my computer?

By the way?

[X] Press X to not die.
>> No. 161114
>>161110

It's probably in the transition from being on the board to being in the archives.
>> No. 161115
>>161114
The thread downloader at >>/gensokyo/7144 works for those threads.
>> No. 161176
File 134635031224.jpg - (36.81KB , 490x670 , welcome to my nightmare.jpg ) [iqdb]
161176
>>161054
>Inception logic: we die in the dream, we wake up.

And if the driver happens to be this guy?
>> No. 161177
>>161176
Haven't thought about that possibility. Note to self: don't think every dream will work like Inception. It might as well work like A Nightmare on Elm Street, in which case we are very, very screwed.
>> No. 161187
File 134640866362.jpg - (105.82KB , 472x472 , BERZERKER.jpg ) [iqdb]
161187
A large, truck-shaped object is about to collide with you.
Painfully.
Fatally, even.
Under normal circumstances, this would be cause for concern. Thankfully, your countless hours of training have taught you how to react in such situations.

Deftly moving your thumb down, you press the 'X' button before the prompt even appears on the screen.

...or, so you would have, if you were actually holding a controller at that moment.
Of course, you weren't holding a controller.

Not unless Cirno was hiding some analog sticks somewhere on her, that is. You would normally think that such a thing was unlikely, but you might also say the same about magically-floating ice crystals, and yet there they are.

How do they do that, anyw-...oh, right.
Truck. About to run into you.
Probably going to kill you.
Kill you hard.

You suppose you should be seeing flashes of your life up to that moment, as is said to happen when one is confronted with their imminent demise. And yet, for you at that moment, there was nothing.
Nothing at all.
It was just you.
Just you and the truck that was about to give you a first-hand demonstration of what it feels like to be hit by a truck.

Not very good, you imagine.
Not very good at all.

You wonder if you should try to get out of the way, or at least toss Cirno aside so she won't get hit along with you, but there is simply no time.

No time to move.
No time to blink.
No time to even notice the strange rumbling beneath your feet, or process the thunderous crack of breaking concrete as a massive chunk of stone thrusts up from the ground in front of you, followed by the deafening crunch of metal a split-second later.

For a moment, you simply stand there, staring at the now-cracked wall of stone that had suddenly erupted from the ground.

...why did that happen?
Not that you aren't glad that it did, of course, since it kinda saved you from that whole 'dying' thing, but it still struck you as odd.
Large chunks of stone generally don't just come up from the ground like that, after all.

You can only suspect that...


[ ] Global warming has something to do with it, clearly.

[ ] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

[ ] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

[ ] Something else was the cause. You're not sure what it could be, though...




----------------------------------------------------------------



There was something I was going to say here, but I forgot what it was.
>> No. 161188
[ ] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

Yup. She just does stuff like that. Every day occurance. Nothing to see here, move along.
>> No. 161189
[x] Global warming heated up the ground in between the truck and you and caused it to explode upwards. Lucky you, if yuo choosed cross the street a second before you did, you would be a goner.
>> No. 161190
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.
She's not going to let a truck get her kill. At least, if she was trying to kill us in the first place.
>> No. 161191
[x] Something else was the cause. You're not sure what it could be, though...

Hi Suwako-teacher! You're the best!
>> No. 161193
[x] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.
Rocks are our allies. They protect us as one would protect a son.
>> No. 161194
[x] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

Such crude rock-related behavior is just like Tenshi.
>> No. 161195
[x] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.
>> No. 161196
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

Not that I'm trying to be logical, but I just think it would be funny to see her pissed off and then tell her that her stone throwing sucks, but she knows how to do a mean stone uppercut, so she gets a few points
>> No. 161197
[x] Something else was the cause. You're not sure what it could be, though...
>> No. 161198
[x] Something else was the cause. You're not sure what it could be, though...

Tide. Must have Suwako.
>> No. 161200
[X] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

The rocks have finally reciprocated our love, and defended us.
>> No. 161201
>>161200
But this guy doesn't like rocks very much! Our love cannot pass through the impenetrable fourth wall.
>> No. 161202
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

I guess we can go with sensible things now.
>> No. 161203
There's a pretty good chance that a lot of people just died horrifically.
>> No. 161204
>>161193

This has convinced me. We have finally befriended Gaia.

[x] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.
>> No. 161205
>>161203
Let's... let's not think about that. I'm sure they're fine. Perfectly fine.
>> No. 161206
>>161204
Unless that's part of the whole "MC's mysterious past" thing, I highly doubt we did that. Also, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't like someone who have been chucking around my body parts.
>> No. 161207
>>161204
If deadpool can date Death, why can't we date Gaia? That'd make for the best OC ever.
>> No. 161208
[x] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

This is why our life didn't flash in our eyes. We obviously had everything under control.
>> No. 161209
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

[X] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

We did it together. Teamwork!
>> No. 161211
[ ] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

Our bond with rocks has gained us a new personaability!
>> No. 161234
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.
>> No. 161235
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

[X] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

Teamwork is how things get done. Yeah. That's how lives get saved. Teamwork. And rocks.
>> No. 161236
[X] Tenshi did it. She does stuff like that sometimes.

[X] You did it. That's right, you. That was a thing that you did just now. Somehow.

These hands of ours are glowing bright, their loud cry tells us...we're probably going to be late for school.
>> No. 161254
File 134675417929.jpg - (502.43KB , 814x872 , IGNORE ME.jpg ) [iqdb]
161254
It was you.
You did it.
You made that large slab of stone erupt from the ground to protect you from harm.
You don't know how, especially since you've never had anything like that happen to you before, but you know it must be true.

You so totally did that thing just now.

Hey! Watch where you're going, dumbass!

Or, you know, Tenshi could have done it, you guess.
That certainly sounds far more likely.

Still, if you had done that, wouldn't it be AWESOME?
You're quite sure it would be.

Hey! Watch where you're going, dumbass!” Tenshi shouts, though to whom, you're not sure. From the way she was glaring at you, you would guess it was you, but you can never really tell with these things.

“Yeah! Someone could have been hurt!”

“I meant you, idiot!” she snaps, confirming your suspicions. “What the hell were you doing, running across the street like that?! Do you want to die?!”

“Well, no.” you admit, shaking your head. Dying seems like it would be a bad thing to happen to you. “I just thought that I would, you know...um...”

“You thought you would what.” she demands, stepping off the curb to meet you in the street, sword still firmly clenched in her hand.

“I just thought I would try to, you know, um...could you put the sword down, first?”

No..”

“Oh. Well. Okay then.” you say, realizing it probably wouldn't do you any good to explain to a girl who was holding a sword how you were trying to tackle her while she was holding her sword. Some people just can't appreciate good strategy when they see it. Instead, you resort to another tactic that has served you well in the past; changing the subject. “Hey, what about that bus I stopped?”

You stopped?” Tenshi scoffs, clearly in denial regarding the emergence of your new-found powers. “You couldn't stop a nosebleed!”

“I thought we agreed to not bring that up anymore.”

“...and what 'bus'? That was a truck!”

“No, I'm pretty sure that was a bus.”

“I'm pretty sure you're wrong.”

“I think I know a bus when I see one about to hit me, Tenshi.”

“Think you would know a fist when you see one about to hit you, too?”

“Maybe, but that didn't look anything like a fist. Too bus-like.”

“It's not a bus! It was a-”

Argh! Would you two just start humping already?!” a rather frustrated-looking Koishi yells at the two of you, as she and an out-of-breath Medicine finally catch up to you. “Sheesh!”

“Oh, great. She's with you.” Tenshi says flatly, clearly displeased by the appearance of the younger Komeiji sister.

“A-are you okay?” Medicine asks, doing her best to look concerned while huffing and puffing to catch her breath.

“Yeah, Medi, I'm fine.” you assure her, motioning towards the rock-wall. “That bus, on the other hand...”

“I told you, it's not a bus!” Tenshi says, stranding resolute on her 'it's not a bus even though it's totally a bus' platform.

“And I'm saying that it is what it is.” you counter. “And what it is, is a bus.”

“What reality do you live in?! When has there ever been a bus that looks like that?”

“Looks like what?” Medi asks, looking back and forth between the two of you and the rock-wall.

That! That truck, right...” Tenshi says, trailing off as she seemingly catches sight of something on the other side of the rocks. Curious, you follow her as she steps around the mass of stone and concrete.

“What the hell?” the two of you say, in unison.
Though you feel a faint sense of vindication at the total lack of anything resembling a truck that you can see, the sensation is dampened slightly by a similar complete and total lack of anything resembling a bus in the general vicinity.

No bus.
No truck.
No strange bus-truck hybrid.
Nothing.

Although you can clearly see where something large and heavy had struck the huge slab of stone jutting out of the street, the array of cracks forming an almost web-like pattern in what had not already crumbled away, you can see nothing around that looked even remotely capable causing such damage.

It was almost as if the bus had disappeared...


[ ] Oh well! Probably nothing you need to worry about! Move along!

[ ] When in doubt, blame the supernatural! Clearly this bus is some form of ghost, or Dracula.

[ ] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!

[ ] Obviously, there was no bus. There never was a bus. What you saw was almost certainly swamp gas bouncing off a weather balloon as a result of solar flares. That looked like a bus.
>> No. 161255
[X] When in doubt, blame the supernatural! Clearly this bus is some form of ghost, or Dracula.

Fuckin' Dracula ghost bus. Probably afraid of our rocks.
>> No. 161256
[X] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!
Hey there Nue, how's it going?
>> No. 161257
[x] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!

It's out to kill us
>> No. 161258
[X] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!

Maybe it was a bus-truck. Meaning a... Trus? A buck?
And if it comes down to such compromise about it's bus vs truck nature, we're clearly more right than she is anyway as it is obviously more bus than truck. Meaning it must definitely be a "buck" as the bus part of the name must come first to notify it's excessive bus-ness.

Anyway, now it has obviously used it's incredible stealth and mastery of disguise to slip past us while we were busy arguing with Tenshi.
So the obvious question is: What do we do, now that we have been passed by the buck?
>> No. 161259
[X] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!
So, either Yukari was foolin' around again, or this is a moriya shrine conspiracy. Place your bets!
>> No. 161261
[x] When in doubt, blame the supernatural! Clearly this bus is some form of ghost, or Dracula.

When something is unexplained. Blame magic.
How are you flying? Magic.
Why are you on the roof?! Magic.
Why can't you make any #### sense?! Magic obviously.
>> No. 161262
[x] Oh well! Probably nothing you need to worry about! Move along!

We need to get to claaaaaaass. Not-busses can't fit through the school gates or the school doorways or anything related to school; we'll be fine.
>> No. 161266
“Argh! Would you two just start humping already?!” a rather frustrated-looking Koishi yells at the two of you.

This, this right here made me laugh the hardest I have all day.

By the way...

[X] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!
>> No. 161269
[x] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!
[x] The bus disguised itself as Tenshi.

Truely, a master stroke from our mortal foe. Unable to defeat us it hides itself as what we percieve to be a stronger threat.
>> No. 161270
[x] When in doubt, blame the supernatural! Clearly this bus is some form of ghost, or Dracula.

Ghost bus-trucks are coming for us. All is lost.
>> No. 161272
[X] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!
It's waiting for another chance to strike. We must remain vigilant.
>> No. 161275
[x] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!

The bus is subtle, but we shall catch it and find it and take t to school!
>> No. 161277
[ ] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!

We must save everyone from this evil disguised bus before it makes us use our amazing rock powers again!
>> No. 161283
[ ] The bus is a master of disguise, and has chosen to hide itself. But where? WHERE?!
>> No. 161326
File 134714453255.jpg - (209.24KB , 750x700 , it's a very tiny school.jpg ) [iqdb]
161326
“You're insane.”

“Am I? Am I, Tenshi?”

“Yes! Yes, you are!” she replies, turning her head towards you as the four of you make your way down the street. “Trucks do not just 'disguise' themselves to look like they aren't there!”

“Sure, trucks might not,” you concede, willing to give her at least that much. “On the other hand, a bus-”

Buses don't do that either!

“Don't they? Don't they, Ten-”

“And stop that!”

“Um, are you sure there was a bus or truck or whatever?” Medicine asks, looking at you worriedly. “I mean, ah, not that I think there wasn't! I do! I mean, I don't! I-I mean, um, well, where did it go?”

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe it was a GHOST bus! WoooOOOOooooOoo~!” Koishi suggests, wiggling her fingers for added effect. “SpooOooooOoooky~!

“That is almost as stupid as the 'disguise' idea.”

“What? Are you saying buses can't be ghosts?” you ask Tenshi.

“Do you even hear the words that come out of your mouth?”


The conversation continues in this way for much of your walk, with Tenshi shooting down every suggestion you have for why and how a bus could be both capable of disguising itself and being a ghost as 'stupid' or 'insane' or both. Though part of you supposes she has something of a point, the far more rational side of your mind tells you that she could be conspiring with the bus and was simply attempting to discredit you. Hell, for all you knew, she might even be the bus!

That's it!
That's it!

That's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it THAT'S IT!

The bus, seeking to terminate you, takes on the form of those closest to you so that you would lower your guard!
Clever! Very clever!
As expected of soulless killing-machine such as that!

Of course, you could be wrong.
You usually are whenever you're not right about something.
Sure, that's often the case, and at those times you can do little else but reflect upon how wrong you were. Sometimes, you even have help with that.

But what are the odds that's the case now?

Pretty good, you would say.


As you ponder over the ramifications of this revelation, you are only vaguely aware of the large gates you were approaching. Someone who sounds like Tenshi says something that sounds like something Tenshi would say before splitting off from your group. You were not really listening, but she sounded irritated. You can't imagine why.

Perhaps she suspects you suspect that she is not who she appears to be?
That would not do. That would not do at all.
At all.

Shortly after that, you think you hear Medicine say something, as well, before hurriedly rushing off somewhere, as she often does in the mornings. To the chemistry lab, most likely.

Normal behavior from her, then.
Perhaps, almost too normal?

You begin to wonder if Tenshi was not the only one you needed to worry about being a bus in disguise. Those buses could be tricky, you think as someone else begins to say something to you, and if they have infiltrated to the point that-


FWAP!


Your thoughts are interrupted by the sensation of a hand lightly, yet firmly, smacking you on the back of your head. Blinking a couple times, you turn to find Koishi frowning at you.

“Hey! Aren't you listening?” she asks, clearly unhappy about something.

“Oh, um, sorry. I was kinda daydreaming, I guess.” you say, suddenly worried about what you may have missed for her to be looking at you like that. “What is it?”

“I said, WHY are you not hitting that?!” she huffs, her outstretched arm gesturing vaguely in the directions that Tenshi and Medicine left in.

“...um, what? Medicine? Tenshi?” you ask, unsure of who she was talking about.

Yes!” she says.

...clearly, she was not going to make this any easier for you.

“Koishi, I don't think we really have time to be getting into this, now.”

“Oh? But there's still plenty of time~!” she says, pointing towards the clock tower.

“Huh?”

Following her finger, you look at the massive clock, and see that you have...quite a bit more time before class than you thought you had.

“Wait, we're this early?” you ask, bewildered by how you could have possibly made it here with so much time left to spare. “I thought you said we were going to be late!”

Tee-hee~!” Koishi giggles, her usual mischievous grin spreading across her face. “I kiiiiiiiinda fibbed~!”

“...you mean, I could still be sleeping right now?”

“Heeeey!” she says, her grin quickly switching back to a displeased frown. “Sis had the idea! She was worried, you know! She said you might have trouble getting up, so I said I would go and get you up, so she said I should go do that, so I did~!”

“Is that so?”

“Yep~! I told her she should go do it, though, since you'd have time for a quickie, but she said that wasn't going to happen, so then I said that maybe we would have time for a quickie, but she also said that wasn't going to happen, and I guess it didn't, but I still think it coulda, but it wouldn't be fair if she didn't get to do it first, so you really need to get in on that, and by that I mean on her and also in he-”

“Thanks, Koishi. I get it. Thanks.”

“I'm saying you should boink my sister, already.”

“Yes, Koishi, I know.” you sigh, fully aware of what she meant.



[ ] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

[ ] Politely disengage yourself from this conversation. It is too early in the day to be having this discussion. Again.

- ( ) Follow after Tenshi. Be on the lookout for any bus-like activity.
- ( ) Follow after Medicine. What is she working on, there, anyway?
- ( ) Head to class. Maybe you'll catch your teacher by surprise!
>> No. 161327
[x] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

We can never get too much of this Koishi.

Although I am also interested in what Medi would be doing in the chemistry lab, so I wouldn't mind if that happened either.
>> No. 161328
[x] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Koishi is a bottomless font of true wisdom.
>> No. 161329
[x] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Koishi is our concience. We must obviously listen to her because she has the right idea.
>> No. 161330
Well, that or our libido.
>> No. 161331
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Koishi's randomness is far greater than Tenshi's rationality.
>> No. 161332
[x] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Yesss. If only there were a way to combine following Tenshi and listening to Koishi into a single vote... perhaps she's eating as well? Eating with a sword in hand, to better prevent moochers mooching all her food?
>> No. 161333
Ah, I love our little band of misfits.
>> No. 161334
Just noticed something. What the heck happened to our lil ⑨
>> No. 161335
>>161334
When buses come in contact with Cirnos, both disappear in a violent reaction leaving only a pile of rock
>> No. 161336
[ ] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

This Koishi is just to awesome not to listen too. I say we go with this option!
>> No. 161337
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Koishi option is best option. Also, anyone else think there's some Seed of Unknown Form business going on with that bus/truck? Well, if Nue was trying to scare us, it worked!
>> No. 161346
[ ] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Protagonists are much more susceptible to subconscious sexual urges if they have a full stomach.
>> No. 161349
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

So we get to listen to all the reasons we should be screwing Satori while eating delicious school pancakes? Yes.
>> No. 161350
>>161335
Oh man our MC is going to feel so stupid for not getting that.
>> No. 161359
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

I'm kinda surprised that Koishi doesn't care who MC bones, so long as he bones someone.
>> No. 161362
She cares for our health, and realizes the answer to all our problems is that we Really need to get laid.
>> No. 161364
[X] Politely disengage yourself from this conversation. It is too early in the day to be having this discussion. Again.
- (X) Head to class. Maybe you'll catch your teacher by surprise!

There is learning to be done, and teachers to harass.

>>161334
She has been taken by the dire-bus. The only way to rescue her is to defeat the bus in combat.
>> No. 161365
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.
>> No. 161384
[x] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.
>> No. 161402
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

Koishi is our one true ally against the Phantom Bus Menace.
>> No. 161438
[X] Try to gently guide Koishi to the cafeteria. If you're going to be getting 'The List' again, you may as well be doing it on a full stomach.

I love you for still writing.
>> No. 161439
Try to gently guide Kioshi onto your dick.
>> No. 161442
>>161439
If Koishi does her job right, we won't even notice her guiding herself.
>> No. 161450
>>161442
Exactly. Remember what happened the last time we ate with Koishi? That was, err, an interesting experience, to say the least.
>> No. 161457
File 134759619293.png - (109.39KB , 590x480 , 24488404.png ) [iqdb]
161457
I'd just like to thank you all for your patience.
I don't know who first thought scheduling people to work early mornings right after having them work late nights was a good idea, but they were an asshole.

With any luck, I'll be able to get out an update tomorrow night.
>> No. 161460
>>161457
Hooray!
Well, sorry about your schedule. But glad for the status update.
>> No. 161475
>>161457

Actually, That picture of Parsee cooking eggs makes me happier than the status update.
>> No. 161476
>>161475
Of course! They're eggs! We love eggs... wait a minute. Koishi is with us. There might be eggs. Not again...
>> No. 161496
File 134769849883.png - (524.03KB , 1000x1000 , this might sting a little.png ) [iqdb]
161496
Well, that "luck" thing didn't really pan out, I'm sorry to say. I've got a day off coming up, though, so if I don't get anything done tomorrow night, I'll do my damnedest to make something happen then.

I fully expect large quantities of caffeine to be involved.
In the event that even that fails, then I may have to resort to more drastic measures.
>> No. 161499
>>161496
Reality sucks, huh?
Also, murderous Daiyousei is murderous.
>> No. 161551
File 134795890350.jpg - (937.93KB , 777x1087 , not enough schoolgirl koishi pictures .jpg ) [iqdb]
161551
As Koishi begins to rattle off the various indecent acts she believes you should engage in with her sister, herself, and numerous others, you begin to make your way towards the cafeteria. Now that you know you have enough time for a proper breakfast, you're going to have a proper breakfast, damn it!

Besides, as hungry as you already were, all of Koishi's talk of “eating” certain things and certain people was doing little more than filling your mind with strange and disturbing images. The sort of things that sane, healthy people probably don't think about. You know of a couple classmates who probably think of such things regularly, sure, but you're relatively certain neither one exactly qualifies as “sane” by any measure.

...and yet, here you were, imagining the sorts of things you could easily see either one of them imagining themselves.

You're not sure you care for what that says about you.


“...and when she starts squeaking, that means you're doing it right~!”

“Mm-hm. Behind the knee. Counter-clockwise motion. Squeaking. Got it.”


Having already heard Koishi speak on this subject as many times as you have, you have reached the point that you are capable of responding appropriately to just about anything she says without consciously doing so. Although there are some things no one should ever have to get used to, you find something comforting in the familiarity of Koishi's lewd and occasionally illegal suggestions, even if they do result in the occasional uncomfortable question from Medi.

“Don't worry if she gets all bitey and stuff, though! If she really wants to kill you, she'd just use her claws~!”

“Bites are alright. Claws equals pause. Gotcha.”


You've often wondered exactly how Koishi knows so many intimate details about your fellow students, but in the time you've been here you've learned the value of not questioning her too much, as her answers often wind up making your head hurt even more than the questions that led to them.

“And when she does that, that's when OOH~! Food time~!” Koishi says as you enter the cafeteria, her eyes alight with the same excitement she typically shows whenever she realizes she's somewhere she wasn't a minute ago.

“You hungry, too?”

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe~!”



Well, that settles that, then.
Now, all you have to do is...


[ ] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.

[ ] Find a place to sit. You trust Koishi to get you something good.





----------------------------------------------------------------------


It too far too long to write so very little, but even a little forward motion is better than no motion at all, I suppose.
>> No. 161552
Even your underwhelming updates are funny~
>a couple classmates
Koishi and who else?

[x] Find a place to sit. You trust Koishi to get you something good.

I was going to vote for getting food because I don't trust Koishi to not pick phallic foods or something similar. Then I realized I wanted Koishi to pick phallic foods. Though seeing how she could possibly mess up picking a seat sounds fun too.
>> No. 161554
[x] Find a place to sit. You trust Koishi to get you something good.
>> No. 161555
That picture is adorable.

>...and yet, here you were, imagining the sorts of things you could easily see either one of them imagining themselves.
>You're not sure you care for what that says about you.
...Huh. Still holding onto my theory about the story's intro, considering this and the preceding paragraph.

>you have reached the point that you are capable of responding appropriately to just about anything she says without consciously doing so.
Appropriate.

[x] Find a place to sit. You trust Koishi to get you something good.
>> No. 161557
[X] Find a place to sit. You trust Koishi to get you something good.

Strange food is still food. It's still edible.
Who knows where we might end up if we let her choose the seating?
>> No. 161558
[X] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.

Can we really trust Koishi to not forget the eggs?
>> No. 161559
[X] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.

We must be the gentleman in this encounter. Besides, we can't leave the eggs to chance. She might choose something silly like pancakes or waffles.
>> No. 161561
[X] Find a place to sit. You trust Koishi to get you something good.

Who ordered the egg and panties?
>> No. 161563
[X] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.
We are not going to have random underwear show up in our food again.
>>161555
I'm glad someone else out there won't forget "box, blood, amnesia, possible insanity, past=???" (or at least some of those), 'cause that's all we know about Protag.
>> No. 161565
Don't forget good at motivational speeches. Perhaps that used to be his job?
>> No. 161568
>>161565
If it was, do you think he'd be not be living in the Human Village? Unless they threw him out due to that, for some reason.
>> No. 161570
>>161568
Of course they didn't throw him out, silly. He threw himself out so he could laugh in their faces whenever they tried.
>> No. 161571
Forgot my vote, so I'm sagein this voting post to make up for not sageing a nonvoting post.

[X] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.

Surprise me.
>> No. 161573
[x] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.
>> No. 161601
[X] Get the food. Let Koishi take care of the seating.
It should go without saying, but make sure to pile on those sweet egg dishes for breakfast.
>> No. 161640
Calling it for getting the food and letting Koishi pick your seats, and I hope to be able to write tonight.

I have to say, though, I am shocked and appalled that some of you would doubt that Koishi would select anything but a delicious and highly-nutritious breakfast for you. One rich in the essential vitamins, nutrients, and complex carbohydrates a growing body needs to ensure a healthy supply of stamina for whatever strenuous physical activities you would engage in during the day.
>> No. 161641
>>161640
Well, some of us believe that she'll get panties in the eggs again. That kind of ruins the whole "eating" thing.
>> No. 161647
Does she even wear panties?
>> No. 161649
>>161641
That's just her way of seasoning them with love.
>> No. 161664
File 134835715529.jpg - (52.34KB , 600x435 , Photograph of Counter in High School Cafeteria.jpg ) [iqdb]
161664
“Well, how about I go grab us something to eat, then?” you suggest to Koishi. If she was as hungry as you were, then it was possible that you were not the only one to miss out on breakfast as a result of her wake-up call. “Would you mind finding us some seats while I do that?”

“Okaaay~!” she cheerfully replies. “I'll find a good spot~!”

“Just...don't force anyone out if a seat's taken, okay? We don't need a repeat of last time.”

“Hey, I was just saying hi~!” she huffs, doing her best to look indignant slipping back into her usual grin. “Ahh~! She made me feel all tingly and stuff, too~!”

“That's because she electrocuted you, Koishi.” you remind her, still amazed that anyone could remain so cheerful about being struck by lightning five times. Though the ghost-girl's reaction was certainly excessive, it didn't help matters that Koishi's idea of 'saying hi' typically bordered on sexual harassment.

“Yeeeeah, that was fun~!” she sighs. “You should slip her your sausage sometime~!”

“Uh, I don't know if that would be such a good ide-”

Sausage~! Sausage sounds yummy! Or bacon~! Ooooh~! Sausage and bacon~!”


Going from food-based innuendos to just plain food? She really must be hungry you think to yourself. Assuring Koishi that you will do your best to acquire some form of breakfast meat, you excuse yourself.

Making your way to the counter is a relatively simple affair, as usual. Though there are a fair share of students milling about, the lines for breakfast are typically short, with much of the student body skipping the meal altogether in favor of either other activities or simply sleeping in. Frankly, as nocturnal as much of the school's students and staff tend to be, you often wonder why the school doesn't offer night classes of any sort.

Still, if it means you don't have to fight anyone over the last plate of eggs, you're certainly not going to complain. Especially not when even getting eggs to fight over is enough of a challenge, as it is.

As if to prove your point, you arrive at the counter to find it complete unoccupied.
No students waiting in line. No kitchen staff waiting to serve them. Not even a single plate left out for anyone to pick up. Were it not for the clatter of pots and pans emanating from somewhere in the kitchen, you would think the place had been abandoned.

Leaning over the counter, you peer into the kitchen and look around for anyone who might be able to help you.

As kitchens go, you suppose it's fairly standard, though you don't really have much of a basis for comparison. Pots, pans, and various utensils hang from hooks on the ceiling while their dirty and soiled brethren line the counters and tabletops below. Off to one side, towers of dirty plates are stacked side-by-side, waiting for someone to come and clean them.

Just as you are about to call out, you spy a flash of color from between the piles of plates.

Though brief, you're certain it was...


[ ] Black
[ ] White
[ ] Pink
[ ] Green
>> No. 161667
[x] Pink

Closed my eyes and pointed.
>> No. 161668
[x] Pink

Yuyuko stop eating all the foodd that is not your food
>> No. 161669
[x] Pink

Pink is manly
>> No. 161670
[x] Green
>> No. 161672
[X] Pink
Please, please let this be Yuyuko and not a pair of underwear.
>> No. 161673
[x] Pink
>> No. 161675
[X] Black

'Is there - are there eggs in here? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the youkai, 'Nevermore.'
>> No. 161676
[ ] Black
>> No. 161683
[x] Pink
>> No. 161685
[X] Pink

I am hoping that this is either Mystia, or Yuyuko
>> No. 161688
[X] Green

Also, I love this Koishi.
>> No. 161694
[X] Pink

>>161685
I'm hoping it's Yuyuko molesting Mystia.
>> No. 161756
[x]Black and White
>> No. 161767
>>161664
[X]Green
>> No. 161772
[x] black as my soul

This koishi is love.
>> No. 161779
File 134868736027.jpg - (1.13MB , 1000x842 , What are you doing you are spilling it goddamn it.jpg ) [iqdb]
161779
“Um, hello?” you tentatively call out, hoping against all hope that you were mistaken about who was currently in the kitchen. For the sake of the eggs, if nothing else, you prayed that you were wrong.

“Yes, yes, I'll be right there.” a voice calls out from amongst the stacks of plates. A moment later, its owner steps into view with a large pile of plates balanced on her one good hand. Looking at you, she offers you a faint smile. “Sorry, we're a little short-handed today. What can I get for you?”

“O-oh! Uh, um...well...” you stammer, unsure of what to make of the bun-haired lady behind the counter. Though she most definitely was not a certain outspoken punk-rocker activist who you were positive volunteered to work in the school cafeteria for the sole purpose of forcing her anti-egg agenda on the good, egg-eating people of the world, that did little to tell you exactly who this particular lady was.

Aside, of course, from the obvious fact that she was a cafeteria worker.

A very unfortunate cafeteria worker, judging from the bandages covering the entirety of her right arm. You had often heard that working in a kitchen can be dangerous, but damn! What do you even have to do to yourself to require your entire arm to be wrapped up like that?

Ah, yes. The fryer.
The most sinister and cruel of kitchen appliances.
Truly, it craves nothing but to burn and scald the flesh of the innocent; the price to be paid for the deliciously greasy bounty it produces.

“Er, do you have any eggs?” you ask, forcing yourself away from thoughts of scenarios in which one might find their entire arm plunged into a tub of super-heated grease. No, you must keep your thoughts focused on happier things. Tastier things. Like eggs! Incredible, edible, wiggly, jiggly eggs!

“Ah, sorry, we're out of eggs today.” the non-symmetrically-armed lady says, smiling apologetically to you. “A fresh shipment was supposed to arrive this morning, but it never showed up.”

“Oh. I see.”

And just like that, hope has abandoned you.
Casting a forlorn glance at the ceiling, you let out a silent, plaintive cry to whatever deity or deities that had forsaken you that day.

“I've got some leftover mist, if you want it.”

“...mist?” you ask, looking back at the bun-haired lady, unsure if you heard her correctly.

“Yes, mist.” she replies. “Heat it up a little, whisk it a bit, and it can feel somewhat like eggs. Not in any actual, tangible sense, of course. But close enough. I'm not an Oni, by the way.”

“That doesn't sound very much like...wait, what?”

“So, scrambled mist, then? Perhaps some mist buns?” the lady continues, basically ignoring you as she starts walking away. “Yes, that's what you need. I'll just put these in the sink, and get right to heating that up for you.”

“But...what?” you barely manage to get out as the lady disappears into the kitchen without saying another word to you.

Perhaps it is just your imagination, or simply your inability to readjust to returning to school after your break, but this day seems more than a little strange to you. Strange, and getting stranger by the minute.

...is it even possible to eat mist?
Breathe? Sure. But eat?

As you ponder over the mechanics of eating something that is basically intangible, to say nothing of the highly-dubious nutritional value of such a thing, a realization strikes you.

You forgot to order Koishi's food!

You call out to the bandaged-arm lady, but hear no response.
You don't hear anything, in fact.
Not the clanging of pans, nor the clatter of plates.

...huh.


[ ] Wait patiently. Perhaps she just works quietly?

[ ] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?

[ ] Find Koishi. If you're going to wait, you may as well sit while you do.
>> No. 161781
>[X] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?

Huh, I did not see this coming.
>> No. 161782
[X] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?

Bandage bun haired lady? Kasen?
>> No. 161783
[ ] Find Koishi. If you're going to wait, you may as well sit while you do.

Koishi can have all the proteins she wants from the MC.
>> No. 161785
[x] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?
>> No. 161786
[x] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?
Well hi there Kasen, how's it going?
>Though she most definitely was not a certain outspoken punk-rocker activist who you were positive volunteered to work in the school cafeteria for the sole purpose of forcing her anti-egg agenda on the good, egg-eating people of the world, that did little to tell you exactly who this particular lady was.
Oh Mystia...
>> No. 161789
[x] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?

Am interested in the steps needed to prepare mistfood anyways.
>> No. 161791
After rereading this update, I caught a detail I missed. Well, today has been really strange, hasn't it? I know this is a dream, but within the dream I think someone is causing weird things to happen. I'm throwing my money (not literally) down on Nue. Anyone else get that feeling, or is it just me?
>> No. 161792
[x] Find Koishi. If you're going to wait, you may as well sit while you do.
>>161783
This man has a good idea. A funny/sexy Koishi scene might be it
>> No. 161796
[x] Find Koishi. If you're going to wait, you may as well sit while you do.

That truck-bus-reverse-vampire was the egg shipment. What a terrible person we are, denying the entire school eggs, all to protect our own life. What an even more terrible person Mystia is, thank Suwako she isn't around today, and her little friend GOOD MORNING too.
>> No. 161799
[x] Find Koishi. If you're going to wait, you may as well sit while you do.
>> No. 161801
[x] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?

Maybe there are some leftover eggs from yesterday? Eggs don't go bad in just a day, after all.
>> No. 161803
[x]Go into the kitchen

Gentlemen, let us boldly go where no student has gone before. Koishi will find us if need be, but let us not greet her without her share of food. Even if this reasonable suggestion does not move you, consider this. There is a delicious not!Oni in the kitchen. With delicious not!eggs. Even were it not so...there may yet be eggs hiding from us within. Eggs, gentlemen. The choice is clear.
>> No. 161804
[x] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?
>> No. 161805
[X] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?

Take anything that even remotely looks like seasoning. There has to be some combination that will result in egg-flavored mist.
>> No. 161806
[x] Go into the kitchen. Is she alright back there?
>> No. 161812
File 134882290052.jpg - (39.62KB , 613x407 , It looks nothing like this.jpg ) [iqdb]
161812
You think you should probably wait.

It shouldn't take long for her to come back, right?

You think you will wait.

Just watch, she'll come back any minute now.

You decide to wait.

Annnnny minute now.

And wait.

Annnnnnnnnnnny minute...

And wait some more...

Come back come back come back come back come back come back come back come back...

You decide waiting really sucks.
You decide you're not going to wait any longer.
Fuck waiting.
Somewhere over that counter, within the depths of that kitchen is food.
Food like eggs.
Or, at least, egg-like food.

Figuring you have nothing to lose, but everything to gain, you clamber up and over the counter, and make your way into the no-man's land of the kitchen.

Looking around, you see all the things that you had come to expect to find in a place such as this.
Knives, stoves, cooling racks, more knives, pots, pans, still more knives, a walk-in freezer, and what you are almost positive is an industrial-grade band-saw. From the copious amounts of reddish-brown stuff you see caked around the surrounding area, you can tell that it is used primarily for cutting meat, as are most of the other tools you see in that corner of the kitchen.

While everything you see only serves to reaffirm the notion that you were, indeed, standing in a kitchen, what you don't see is any sign of the strange lunch lady.

...or would 'breakfast lady' be more accurate?
It would certainly be too early in the day for her to be classified as a 'dinner lady'.

In any case, you didn't see her.
At all.

You can see no other exits that she might have slipped out of from where you stand. Meaning, logically, that any such exit might simply be in a part of the kitchen you cannot see from your current position. That, or whoever designed this place did so with a complete disregard for safety and human life, as well as a total lack of understanding of the concept of 'criminal negligence'.


[ ] Call out to her.

[ ] Search for her.

[ ] Forget about her, look for food instead.

[ ] Stare blankly at the wall.
>> No. 161815
[x] Stare blankly at the wall.

Slasher movie shit right here. Every option will end with our guts splattered everywhere.
>> No. 161816
[x] Stare blankly at the wall.
If Nue has been screwing with us (and I still think that), she's disguised one of the exits as a blank wall. That we'll see someone coming through. Or Kasen has outright disappeared because dream logic is dream logic and one-shot characters are one-shot characters. I think.
>> No. 161817
>>161816
If Kasen has been shot, where is she going???
>> No. 161818
>Slasher movie shit right here.

Oh my god you're right.
[x] Stare blankly at the wall.
>> No. 161819
[ ] Forget about her, look for food instead.
>> No. 161821
>>161815
The option says 'Stare blankly' but he will be on alert-mode.. like a cat.

[x] Stare blankly at the wall.
>> No. 161822
[X] Stare blankly at the wall.

Think long and hard about what youkai eat. In this place we are the ingredients.
>> No. 161824
File 134884779915.jpg - (6.22KB , 168x200 , reimufacepalm.jpg ) [iqdb]
161824
>>161817
*face palm*
>> No. 161828
[x] Stare blankly at the wall.
>> No. 161836
[x] Stare blankly at the wall

It shall reveal its secrets to us.
>> No. 161839
File 134890516175.jpg - (80.95KB , 640x480 , IF YA DON'T EAT YER MEAT YA CAN'T HAVE A.jpg ) [iqdb]
161839
Unsure of what to do in this situation, you fall back on the one thing you know how to do best. Namely, staring into space until something happens.

Settling you eyes upon a particularly promising-looking spot of grease on the wall, you waste no time in getting to work.

You stare at the wall.

You stare some more.

You stare...

...and stare...

...and stare some more.


You just keep staring at the wall like that.
A lesser man might stop, but you will do no such thing!

You just keep going, and going, and going.

Just when you think you're about to stop...you go.

Just like a magic-staring man.


...and yet, your present refused to change.

The wall remains a wall.
The spot remains a spot.
The guy staring blankly at both continues doing that thing he is doing.

And that guy is you.

You're not even really sure why you're doing this.
If anyone was in the kitchen, they could almost certainly have sneaked out at any time while you staring at this wall.

Or sneaked in.

In fact, for all you knew, there could be someone behind you right at this very instant.

Watching you.

Creeping up behind you.

Just waiting for the perfect moment to strike...


...a moment like right...



NOW!



...but they don't.

Whether that is because there is nobody there to do such a thing to begin with, or there is and they simply have yet to actually do it, you do not know.
Nor do you have any way of knowing, at least while you persist in staring at this wall.

Why are you staring at this wall?

It is a wall.

What does staring at it possibly accomplish?

Nothing. That's what.

You are accomplishing nothing by staring at this wall.

But you pay little mind to your internal questioning of your actions.

That is how dedicated you are to staring at this wall.

That is the proof of your conviction.

So intently do you carry out your task, you shut out all other things.

Even yourself.

Yourself, and the thing that may not really be there that may or may not be currently creeping up behind you.


Maybe you should look behind you?

Unless, of course, that's just what the wall wants you to do...



[ ] Keep staring at the wall. With any luck, it might make a mistake.

[ ] Stare at something else.. This wall's no fun anymore.

[ ] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.

[ ] Do the impossible: stare at YOURSELF.
>> No. 161840
[x] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.

"You've got some red on you."
>> No. 161841
[x] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.
>> No. 161844
[x] Stare at something else.. This wall's no fun anymore.

Good game, wall. You've concealed the illusion well. But your friends will not be nearly so competent!
>> No. 161845
[X] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.
When you think about it, if Nue was behind this, staring at something we don't know the true form of is hopeless. Which means we're probably going to get jumped right about now because we were distracted like idiots.
>> No. 161846
[X] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.

It was all a cunning trap, and we walked right into it.
>> No. 161847
[X]Stare at that which Koishi has place in front of us without us realizing it.
Because lets be honest, Koishi's good at what she does.
>> No. 161849
[X] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.
----[X] and say hello to the very tall and slender Man dressed in a suite and wearing a white mask over his face

I can't help myself!
>> No. 161851
[X] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.
>> No. 161852
[x] Do the impossible: stare at YOURSELF.

Row row, fight the power~
>> No. 161853
[X] Keep staring at the wall. With any luck, it might make a mistake.
[X] Do the impossible: stare at YOURSELF.

We are the wall. The previous events were just the dreams of a wall who wanted to experience life.
>> No. 161854
[x] Do the impossible: stare at YOURSELF.

I know we can do it. He can do it.
>> No. 161855
[x] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.
>> No. 161856
[x] No, really, you should probably look behind you. Really.

Truly the mastermind behind this trap is a genius of unprecedented level. What else could possibly anticipate that he'd stare blankly at a wall upon entering?
>> No. 161859
[x] Do the impossible: stare at YOURSELF.

We shall gain enlightenment from our studious wall staring.
>> No. 161872
[x] Do the impossible: stare at YOURSELF.

In event of failure, increase power. In event of absolutely nothing, INCREASE POWER.
>> No. 161873
>>161856
[x] DO THE IMPOSSIBLE; STARE THE UNSTARE-ABLE! ROW! ROW! FIGHT THE POWER!
>> No. 161876
File 134907803743.jpg - (113.91KB , 600x500 , FRIEND-MAKERS.jpg ) [iqdb]
161876
Something tells you that you should probably look behind you, right now.

You're not quite sure what.

Maybe it's the nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you're being watched.
Maybe it's the faint sound of metal sliding against metal you briefly hear.
In any case, it would seem the time for staring at spots on the wall has come to an end. Sure, there are still more things that remain un-stared upon by your eyes, but you feel it is best to do such things in moderation.

After all, were you to simply stare at anything you wanted, all willy-nilly, you would soon find yourself running out of things to stare at! Left with nothing outside of yourself to stare at, you would be left with only yourself to stare at, and staring at yourself? That would be just crazy!

It's impossible!
Unthinkable!
Inconceivable!

The eye cannot look upon itself any more than the egg can crack itself.
Not that you would be opposed to the idea of a self-cracking egg, or anything.
That actually strikes you as somewhat brilliant. It does, though, seem like something beyond the realm of possibility. The sort of thing that can only ever exist in dreams.

And that is why you cannot stare at yourself.
Because eggs cannot, either.
You're not sure how that makes sense, but you know it must, because you want it to.
That's the way it works.

And so, ceasing your wall-staring activities, you turn around and look back at the counter.

Or, rather, you would do that, if there were a counter to look back at.

Despite your clear recollection of climbing over a counter in order to enter the kitchen you were now in, you could see no sign of any such thing. In its place, you instead find another wall, much like the one you were just staring at. No counter, no window, not even one of those doors with the circular windows on them that swing both ways. Just a wall. A big, grease-stained wall.

Looking around the area, if only to reassure yourself that you had not simply turned back to the wall you were originally staring at by mistake, you find the rest of the kitchen to be almost exactly as you remember it being just moments ago.

Almost exactly, save for the strange way that every single piece of cutlery in the room was now somehow levitating in midair. Knives, forks, and various other sharp, food-related objects whose names you never bothered to learn during the one Home Economics course you took all hung in the air, as if held aloft by invisible strings.

Somehow, you don't think they're supposed to be able to do that.
Even if they were able to do that, you would think they should at least have the common courtesy to not point their sharp, pointy bits directly at you.

It seems only fair, after all. If people must observe proper etiquette in using the right kinds of utensils for the right kinds of food, they should observe their own etiquette in their dealings with people.

Knives shouldn't float in the air on their own.

In the event that they can float in the air on their own, they should not point themselves at people.

And, most importantly, if they do both of those things, they should never fling themselves through the air directly at-


...uh-oh.
>> No. 161879
File 134908717443.jpg - (60.95KB , 840x525 , +_9a725166b50cd6f78d01c6a46070805f.jpg ) [iqdb]
161879
[x] "Bad day, bad day, bad day, bad day, BAD DAY!"
>> No. 161880
Dream, Koishi, Nue, evil spirits affecting dream, or something else? Either way... we're waking up pretty soon. The painful way.
>> No. 161881
File 134908877284.jpg - (1.05MB , 1200x1200 , 24187230.jpg ) [iqdb]
161881
>>161880
More like: Rocks rise, everybody lives.
>> No. 161884
Did we hit autosage?
>> No. 161885
File 134910196673.jpg - (610.64KB , 836x1180 , 30483071_p0.jpg ) [iqdb]
161885
>>161884
Limit's 250. Yes.