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146047 No. 146047

>> No. 146048
"Hey, Tyler...?"

You feel pressure on your shoulder, somehow, but this untimely bout of exhaustion is making it... distant, unreal.

"You tired, too...?"

Your head slumps to the right, coming to a rest on something with a pleasantly soft surface, innumerable smooth strands of... something, your foggy brain can't tell... full of a warmth made barely perceptible by your own personal heat, but definitely there and definitely comforting.

"Yeah..."

Outside your perceptions, time continues to pass.

"Nice..."

"Yeah..."

You can't even tell which of the two of you was talking when. You don't really care.

'S nice.

Yeah.

The sun moves, and you don't really care.

Something curls around your hand, and your hand replies in kind, and you don't really care.

Through the half-awake haze, you can tell one thing.

You are happy.

********

"Whazzat clickin' sound...?"

A voice full of energy resopnds with a familiar and irksome word.

"Blackmail~"

You blearily open your eyes, and see large amounts of red. The ribbon looks like Reimu's, but it probably isn't since hers isn't that big or that much in your face. Plus, you're pretty sure that's her dress over there, oriented... sideways...

Hey, hold on a second. Since when were you lying down on the floor?

Reimu grumbles a few unintelligible syllables (why is her voice coming from right by your shoulder?), then musters a "go away, sukima."

"Aww, have a heart," the energetic voice replies. "I wasn't even going to mess around with you."

"Oh, fine." Reimu's ribbon whisks upward, out of your vision. "So, what brings you here today, aside from being a pain?"

"I brought 'er here!" Oh, look, it's Handlebars. And she's still wearing that thing full of holes.

Reimu groans. "Dammit, Suika."

You feel something brush across you, and the ribbon grows more distant. Wait, so that means-

Oh, that's why it was "Blackmail~".

"Honestly, though," the unidentified someone says, "I was already thinking of dropping by with some snacks." You hear the sound of something being shaken. "When my old friend showed up promising something interesting, how could I say no?"

"That's right! Turning down an oni's invitation just isn't done! Whee, lookit me," Suika rambles as she runs in a tight circle with her arms outstretched, "I'm still mini-Reika!"

Reimu mutters something under her breath. "Now that I get a look at you, Yukari, I kind of think you did come here to mess with me."

"Oh? Why would you say that?"

"Because," Reimu snaps, "you're wearing my spare clothes. And you're stretching the top, you damn boob monster."

This "Yukari" - you remember the name from earlier, a local big name, right? - giggles. "Oh, be happy. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

"You-"

Yukari promptly cuts Reimu off. "Also, I had Ran bring back your outsider friend's normal clothes. Though frankly," she says with a suddenly wistful tone, "I think he looks better this way. Ahh, poor Reiji was so easy to get all flustered..."

You can see Reimu's hands crunching up. "You say one more ill word about my ancestors, and-"

This is one of those critical moments when you need to interject. Badly. Before someone gets really unpleasant.

But how do you do it without just becoming the new target of anger yourself?

==========

>_

==========

Yes, it's Write-In Time. I hope this doesn't end with only four votes after almost a week like last time I did this.
>> No. 146049
Oh fuck.

Can't come up with anything, gonna leave this in more capable hands than my own.
>> No. 146050
His clothes are back? There's only one thing to do.

[x] Start stripping immediately.
>> No. 146051
No, no. That would waste the valuable 'matching outfits' thing we currently have going.

[x] "So, uh...about that blackmail..."

This should be the most pressing concern on any troubleshooter's mind. Blackmail means possible termination. Or maybe even...owing favours! The horror!
>> No. 146052
[x] "So, uh...about that blackmail..."

Yeah this seems good. Gotta watch our for favors. Nothing good ever comes out of those.
>> No. 146053
[x] "So, uh...about that blackmail..."
>> No. 146054
I want to come up with something, I really do. Something along the lines of being pro / counteractive against the one that is making the one we have determined as trustworthy and lovely miserable.

So I'll go with
[x]Hey, no fighting in the war room. This is the Miko's place, so it's her rules.

A shrine does count as a war room, against youkai at least, right?
>> No. 146055
[x] "So, uh...about that blackmail..."
>> No. 146062
[X]".... Who wants lunch?"
>> No. 146063
[X]".... Who wants lunch?"

Reimu has no food. Surely Yukari will fix this.
>> No. 146065
[X]".... Who wants lunch?"
>> No. 146067
[x] "So, uh...about that blackmail..."

It's the first time someone's been so.. refreshingly honest about this!

Quick, turn on your PDC record function (oh god do we still have our PDC) and catch the blackmailer out!

I, uh, even though there isn't Friend Computer present (oh god oh god) I'm sure that having counterblackmail is always good!
>> No. 146078
[x] "So, uh... About that blackmail..."

Clearly she does not know who she's up against,
Alpha Complex Troubleshooters and blackmail are like fish and water! They need their own supply of it to live longer than a minute.

...Wait a minute. Since barely anybody around here knows Tyler anyway, that means the blackmail is meant for Reimu.
Clearly he should try to get in on that. Anything you can use against a fellow Troubleshooter is something to hang on to, because sooner or later backs will be stabbed and then you'd better have something to protect yours.
That's pretty much Troubleshooting 101.

Besides, every successful troubleshooter knows that they are the most devious bastard around. That's how they survived to became successful in the first place.
Would you let someone like that just run around without you having a thing or two on them when push comes to shove( the bastard into the Termination Booth and blame it on the Communist traitors in your troubleshooting group, who will all have unfortunate accidents before the debriefing anyway)?
>> No. 146121
File 131586447095.jpg - (69.91KB , 847x600 , 124035905626.jpg ) [iqdb]
146121
Just finished blazing through the story and... damn, this is good.

Remiu~
>> No. 146141
You quickly clear your throat to interrupt the oncoming death threats. "So," you announce as loudly as non-shouted speech allows. "This blackmail thing. You and I need to talk about it."

"Huh?"

"I said-" you seize Yukari by the elbow and start walking into the shrine proper- "You and I need to have a Word about this Blackmail~" -you carefully replicate her earlier singsong tone- "-of yours."

As you drag the biggest name in this whole... whatever Gensokyo is... around a corner, you can hear an impressed whistling noise out of Suika. "Damn, Reimu," the midget says, "you know how to pick 'em."

...

"So, the blackmail."

"You certainly are bold," Yukari replies with an I-still-hold-all-the-cards smirk. "Why would I ever want to just give up on having something so juicy about my dear Hakurei maiden?"

You release her elbow, then quickly wrap an arm around her opposite shoulder and pull her into a conspiratorial huddle. "That's not what I'm saying," you hiss. "I need a copy of whatever hard evidence you have for whatever - ahem - Blackmail~ you're planning. All my stuff is on people back homeside."

"Ehhhhhhh?"

"Because she has a pretty ridiculous upper hand on me," you continue, "with the flying, and the being a respectable local Troub- excuse me, incident resolution specialist, and the whole thing where she keep talking like local stores won't take credits. I need something in case she decides I'm not interesting anymore."

Yukari lets out a strange ohoho-ing laugh. "You probably have nothing to worry about, Tyler dear," she says. "My dear Reimu keeps her word, you see." She seems to fall from under your arm and drop from nowhere in front of you. "As long as you keep cooking for her, she'll keep that roof over you. And if she doesn't, I'm sure that little pink bunny would be willing to help a business partner find a place to stay, hmm?"

As she tumbles to nowhere again, a chill runs down your spine. How did she know about that?

********

Well, for all Yukari's terrifying, near-IntSec-like knowledge, she did bring some nice snacks.

You're not entirely sure what these "taiyaki" things are supposed to resemble - for all their talk of "fish", you're pretty sure it's grown in sheets on a specially-constructed microfilament mesh like every other meat in existence. It's so much tidier than the old way, with raising whole members of different species to kill and eat.

Oh, that must be what it is. They must look like what fish used to look like in the old days.

Huh.

"So you start from the tail, huh?" Suika asks as you sink your teeth into a second delicious filled pastry thing. "I always start at the head. No reason to wait on getting at the paste."

You wave a hand dismissively, chew for a moment, swallow. "Pah. These particular pastries have a nice texture to the bready part that makes a perfect start to the festivities when you start at the tail end."

"Whatever, you teetotaler." Suika looks at you kind of funny, and then-

"Gotcha!"

You feel something pulling down hard on your shoulder, slamming your back to the floor. There are some sort of... tiny, tiny feet on your arm. "I did good, right, me?"

There is a miniature double of Suika on you.

"I sure did!" The full-size Suika pulls the cork out of that gourd of hers. "Time to drink upOW!"

Reimu maneuvers another one of the little beans into a flicking position between her thumb and forefinger. "Oni out. Good manners in."

"Aww, come ON!" Suika whines. "I just wanted to give this guy a drink! Alcohol is proof the gods love us and want us to be happy, you know!"

==========

[]"Listen to Reimu, please."
[]"I guess I could try some, maybe."
[]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."
>> No. 146142
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."
>> No. 146143
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."
>> No. 146144
[x] Start stripping immediately.
>> No. 146145
[x]"I guess I could try some, maybe."

We're with Reimu, and our backup plan is Tewi. This isn't quite perfect, but it's about as close as you can get without getting uncomfortably perfect.
>> No. 146147
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

It'll save on water costs.
>> No. 146149
[X]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

Doctor's orders, etc.
>> No. 146153
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

This could be bad, but sure, why not.
>> No. 146154
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."
>> No. 146158
[X]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

Unknown medicines and alcohol, while still having some various drugs not quite out of his system yet.
Sounds like a perfect plan to me!
>> No. 146161
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

Doctor's orders.
>> No. 146165
[X]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

We must act with the utmost caution when dealing with medical matters. Thus, we shall follow the good doctor's orders.
>> No. 146170
[x]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."
Nothing can possibly go wrong!
>> No. 146171
[X]"Eirin said to take those pills with alcohol, now that I think of it..."

That sounds like one shady drug.
>> No. 146196
With a sinking feeling, you realize why this situation seems so dangerous.

"Those damn pills," you say. "Eirin gave me those pills and said to take them with alcohol, for some reason."

You see the color drain from Reimu's face, but somehow Yukari seems unfazed... and worse, Suika is grinning even wider than usual. That... can't be a good thing, with all the chaos that little hellion raised in the past.

Before you can even blink, the mini-Suika has not only fished out one of the pills from the prescription bottle and dropped it on your tongue, but very pulled a tiny regulation construction hat from nowhere. The clone waves to the full-size Suika as she lowers her uncorked booze-gourd towards you.

"Drink! Drink, it's delicious!"

An unfamiliar and frankly rather unpleasant flavor floods your mouth as the little oni pours the purple-potted potables down your gullet, washing the pill down with it.

The world seems to shudder horribly.

"I..."

Suika's mini-clone goes flying as you sit bolt upright. The world crackles and shimmers. Your brain sings unnatural melodes, and your blood pumps to a hypnotizing rhythm.

"I need..."

As the drugs undergo their preplanned reactions with the alcohol, you feel a horrible urge growing.

"...I really, really have to pee."

********

The pressure slowly recedes.

"So," says a vioce from outside, "I think you'll need to hear this one..."

The pressure slowly recedes.

"My darling assistant has been doing a few calculations..."

The pressure slowly recedes.

"We think we'll be seeing more things from your world appearing, you see..."

The pressure slowly recedes.

"We would appreciate your assistance with this matter..."

The pressure slowly recedes to nothing.

"You will, of course, be well rewarded..."

You open the bathroom door to face Yukari, but with a blur of motion, Reimu appears in front of you and swats you on the head with that tasseled stick she carries.

"Wash your hands."

********

The world is still shimmering a little, but you feel the strangest lack of sensation, as if a perpetual headache - one you had long since learned to simply ignore - had finally ended. In fact, you're pretty sure that's what happened.

But shimmery. Shiny. Neat.

Suika's teeth are really white. Really shiny. The smile is infectious. She must use really good toothpaste.

Shimmery shiny ladies.

Reimu's getting kind of red, maybe from the... the booze, what was it called, the sake. Yeah, that. But her eyes are sparkling like those neat crystallized mineral things that are so popular over in sector YPE. Except none of those are that color, but who cares? It's pretty.

They all look really pretty when they're this shiny. Pretty pretty ladies, like a really nice view of a High Programmer's personal gardens, except not, because that's... it's a different kind of pretty. Hard to explain.

Yukari looks kind of weird like this, though, because all of her shimmer is on her chest. It's kind of weird. Kind of funny, too. Try not to laugh, it would be mean.

Your head feels so much better!

Maybe those other medications will be this helpful too!

==========
[]IR
[]R
[]O
[]Y
[]GYou already took those! You can't take them again because you just took them! That's silly!
[]BThat stuff is for taking with a meal! It's not time to eat yet! You just ate! That's silly!
[]I
[]V
[]UV
[]Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!
>> No. 146200
[x] Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!

Get a hold of yourself, Tyler!
>> No. 146201
[x]UV

Ultraviolent~
>> No. 146202
[X] Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!

Remember, the docbot Eirin gave him the pills because she didn't know what chemicals were in his system. Who knows what the usual drugs will do with her's?
>> No. 146204
[X]Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!

Regrettably, we sometimes have to see reason. Sometimes.
>> No. 146205
[X]Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!
>> No. 146207
[X]Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!
>> No. 146208
[X]O
Fuck it, we need something lower grade to take the buzz off our buzz.
>> No. 146211
[X]Forget that! Taking too many drugs at once is dangerous, and everyone knows it! That's silly!
>> No. 146216
[X] IR
With no other instructions, start at the top of the list!

>This prescription menaces with spikes of ethanol.
That has to be THE dorfiest thing I have ever heard.
>> No. 146217
>>146216
Infrared drugs WILL make you happier, it's true!

(It absolutely does not have any effect on brainpower and doesn't turn you into mindless drones temporarily and to suggest that such a thing is regularly given to InfraRed drones to keep them in line is utmost treason to Friend Computer, and one of the perks of becoming a RED troubleshooter is definitely not being able to choose your own drug regimen a bit more!)
>> No. 146225
Alright, writefriend. I'll leave it up to you, because in my derpiness I don't really understand which choice is for what. When I choose UV, are the drugs for clearing so much of the stuff out of my system that I feel like I am on Ultraviolet level, meaning clear skies and freedom for us, or will they only clear the ones out of my system that affect the Ultraviolet level, meaning will only take away a tiny little bit of the buzz, the amount the Ultraviolets get dosed with?

You choose the one that will clear away the most possible amount. Meaning either [X]UV or [X]IR.
>> No. 146231
>>146225
I just figured it was the color of the pill/powder.
>> No. 146233
[X]UV

The chance of a lifetime to try ultraviolet clearance drugs!
>> No. 146246
There is a very significant inspection coming up, and my chain of command is freaking out about it and making the life of every person in my machine shop a living hell for the next week and a half or so. Updates may or may not happen, depending on whether or not I go long enough without any pain-bullets to dodge.

Also, my poor selection of references continues to disappoint me. I was sure someone would catch the lovingly-made replica of an extended joke from Deadpool in this update.
>> No. 146281
File 131621120888.jpg - (1.31MB , 1432x1350 , 21736952.jpg ) [iqdb]
146281
>>146246
I acknowledge your distress at the lack of acknowledgment of your reference.
>> No. 146291
>>146281
Archimedes, get out of the picture! That shrine maiden is filthy!
>> No. 146293
>146291

You shut the hell up. That Reimu is wondermous.
>> No. 146304
[X]All of the above!
>> No. 146314
This is shimmery and happy and pretty and fun. Really fun. Really happy. Wheeeeeeeee.

Oh, look, more alcohol! More alcohol means more wheeeeee!

More pills means more wheeeeeee...?

No, more pills means bad stuff. Mixing meds is bad for you, unless they're prescribed that way.

So just keep looking at the pretty pretty ladies. Shine on, you crazy diamonds.

Oh, look, more alcohol!

********

"He's out cold."

Suika pokes at the comatose you, careful not to put damaging force behind her tiny fingers. "Aww, man. What a lightweight. Just a little booze and one or two shady new drugs, and he's under the table."

Which is quite literally true. Before falling asleep, you had managed to crawl under the blanket-table and curl up on yourself, leaving your head sticking out with that massive, towering black hat still on top.

And it's not even dark out yet, either.

"I wanna mess with him while he's down," Suika declares. "Yukari! Bring forth... the permanent marker!"

The blonde - slightly flushed at the cheeks - giggles. "Of course, dearie, just a moment."

"Hhhhheeeeeyyyyy." Reimu is beet-red and slurring heavily. "Thasss my chevv, you rude liddle git. Keep yer ham- hang- hands offa my stuff."

"What was that?" An aggressive smirk creeps across Suika's features. "Trying' to tell me not to put my hands on your stuff?" In instants, the little oni is wrapped around Reimu's torso, groping at her chest. "I'll touch whoever's stuff I please. 'Cause I'm drunker, see?"

"Hhheeeeyyyyyy! Cuddidout! Thass jus' not- not- I don' wanna be your girlfrien'!"

Yukari keeps giggling, pulling a fan out of a hole in the air and holding it across her mouth. "Oh, do be nice to each other, you two."

And through all of this, you continue to snore.

********

"Hhhheeeeeyyyyy. I'm geddin' all tired."

Your eyes slowly open on the scene of lots and lots of pretty pretty shimmering. It looks like Reimu is starting to crawl instead of walking. That's silly!

"Hhhheeeeyyyyy. Hheeyy Tyleeer. Move ooooveeeerrrr. I wanna use the kotatsu tooooooo."

"And the huntress makes a move on her prey! Go, go, go!"

Suika's grinning really wide. Her teeth are really shiny, even if she does smell like pure booze. Shiiiiiiny.

"Poor boy. You don't have to just be Reimu's little toy, you know? You should do what you want, as long as you're a gentleman."

Yukari's still stretching that Reimu-shirt out. Still shiny.

Hey, idiot, goes a small voice in the back of your head. This is your voice of reason talking.

Who's the voice of reason? Why's he so rude?

Look, the voice goes. You're toasted off your brainmeats right now. This is gonna turn sour once everyone's thinking straight again, and you know it.

What do you mean, mister voice of reason?

I mean don't hang aroud too close to them when you go to sleep again, dumbass! You swear the voice is yelling, and it's giving you a headache. Remember Sanae freaking out when you saw her with nothing on? This can turn out worse! Even worse!

Uhh... 'kay?

"Hhhheeeeeyyyyyy. Move oooveeeeerrrrr."

==========

[]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[]It's warm in here.
-[]It's hot in here.

[]Stay right where you are.
-[]There's lots of room even if I don't move.
-[]MY warm tabley thing.

[]Get out of there.
-[]I want a pillow.
-[]I want a mat.
-[]I want more booze.

==========
Turns out it's actually not that hard to wrangle a one-hour turbowriting session, even during Shipboard Hell Week.
>> No. 146315
[x]Stay right where you are.
-[x]MY warm tabley thing.

Bwahaha. I can't not pick this. No way is it going to win~
>> No. 146316
[x]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[x]It's hot in here.

Wacky hijinks and shenanigans, HO!
>> No. 146317
[X]Stay right where you are.
-[X]MY warm tabley thing.
--[X] Take up as much space as possible to prevent intrusion. They can get their own warm table thing.
>> No. 146318
[X]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[X]It's hot in here.

I couldn't decide so I flipped a table and let it decide.
>> No. 146320
[x]Stay right where you are.
-[x]MY warm tabley thing.

We are a mean drunk
>> No. 146321
[x]Stay right where you are.
-[x]MY warm tabley thing.

We are a mean drunk
>> No. 146323
[X]Stay right where you are.
-[X]MY warm tabley thing.
--[X] Take up as much space as possible to prevent intrusion. They can get their own warm table thing.

Make sure to growl, if necessary.
>> No. 146324
>>146320
>>146321
Sorry, I got some deletion error so i tried twice
>> No. 146328
[x]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[x]It's warm in here.
>> No. 146331
[x]Stay right where you are.
-[x]MY warm tabley thing.
--[x] There's plenty of space even if you don't move.
>> No. 146337
[X]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[X]It's hot in here.

If you know what I mean.
>> No. 146339
[X]Stay right where you are.
-[X]MY warm tabley thing.
--[X] Take up as much space as possible to prevent intrusion. They can get their own warm table thing.
>> No. 146341
[X]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[X]It's warm in here.

No need to hog all the warmth.
>> No. 146342
[X]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[X]It's warm in here.
>> No. 146344
[x]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[x]It's warm in here.

More "daaaww"?
>> No. 146351
I love Pink Floyd.
Um...
[x]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[x]It's warm in here.
Screw you voice of reason! When your drunk that's the last thing you ever listen too.
>> No. 146355
[X]Stay right where you are.
-[X]MY warm tabley thing.
--[X] Take up as much space as possible to prevent intrusion. They can get their own warm table thing.

Even if it actually is their warm table thing, we got here first.
>> No. 146360
[x]Stay right where you are.
-[x]MY warm tabley thing.
>> No. 146361
[x]Stay right where you are.
-[x]MY warm tabley thing.
>> No. 146385
The thing I find funniest about all the people choosing not to share. They don't seem to realize that all three of the other people in the room can and probably willmake them share.
>> No. 146386
[X]Move oooveeeeerrrrr.
-[X]It's hot in here.
>> No. 146387
>>146385
Then we have no choice in the matter and voting is meaningless
>> No. 146391
>>146385
That's why I'm voting for it.
>> No. 146395
>>146387
Even if the end result is set in stone, how we get there is the fun part.
>> No. 146429
By my count, there's actually a tie at the moment... so I'm going to go ahead and go with trying to hog the kotatsu, which was first to three, first to five, and has a reasonably common write-in attachment that amuses me.

Failure to wait warmly is treason.
>> No. 146478
No way are you moving over. You were under here first. You have dibs.

"Hhhhhheeeeeeyyyyyy," Reimu slurs once more. "Thass my kota'su. Gimme room."

Oh, like hell.

"Hhhhhheeeeeeyyyyyy! Whass the deal with you sprawlin' your- your- your arms all over?"

"MY warm tabley thing."

"Whass that abbout? I own it, ya ink- ind- ingrate!"

"MINE," you growl.

She responds by crawling her way in and trying to wrestle your arm out of her way."Gimme space, y' goof!"

"MINE!" You wrestle back, of course. You must defend your territory.

"Iss mine, y' freeboo- freemas- freeloader!"

And suddenly, your one-on-one is interrupted. But oh, look, more alcohol!

"You two still aren't quite drunk enough," quoth Suika as she wrangles her way under the table with a deep dish full of booze. "Here, more!"

"MINE- mmm, tasty. Thanks for the booze. But MINE."

"Hhhhhheeeeeeyyyyyy, don' try an' distu- disto- distract me! Oh, hhhhhheeeeeeyyyyyy, this stuff tastes nice."

The little oni grins and giggles, like she's in on some private joke you don't understand. "Little more, kids! Let's see some drunken romance!"

"What're you blabbing about? MY table thing. Get out."

"Hhhhhheeeeeeyyyyyy. Quit makin' impo- impro- implications."

"oh, she's not implying anything untowards, dear." Another personal space invader appears, and it's getting annoyi- oh, look more alcohol!

"Thass a lie an' you know it. She's callin' me a gunk mutt. A drunk slut. I c'n talk right, dammit! Shaddup!"

"Oh, do be calm, dear."

"MY TABLE THING! GET OUT!"

Yukari sighs. "You two certainly are a handful. Do take a nap, why don't you?"

Before you can continue shouting, you feel an arm loop around the back of your head, and then your face being tugged into some warm, soft object. The side of your head, though, feels more like it's being jammed against someone else's skull.

"Hhhhhhwwwwwwyyyyyy!" Reimu's voice is strangely muffled. "Dv v stbbg m fr brvng! Wgg m m! Cd brv!"

She has a point. Whatever this is in your face, it's blocking all the air out.

"Nighty night, little dears~"

********

"AAAAAAARGH SHUT THE HELL UP"

The soft sound of someone's snoring splits your skull like a sledgehammer. You're short of breath, there's something that feels like it's engulfing your face, your head is pounding, and - once again - you really have to pee.

You swing yourself upwards, and immediately impact against the underside of the kotatsu. The mystery object in front of you sort of springs up softly, remaining fully lodged in your face. Feels like there's less contact, though.

Well, this could be troublesome.

You try rolling sideways, but it feels like there's a someone and a half in the way. You hear a muttering sound.

"...Five more minutes..."

Okay, so try rolling the other way.

Ow. Oni horn.

At least it was flat on the ground, instead of pointed up. It's still really hard, though, and even the non-pointy side of it still presses into your arm with a vengeance.

You crawl forward, and soon there's no more table blocking you from standing up.

********

That was a relief.

You maneuver your hands under the faucet, scrubbing soap between your hands. You vaguely remember a joke about a BLUE and an INFRARED on the subject.

Good joke.

ANYways, you're done here. You step out of the bathroom, and...

...there's a light on in that room with the Universal Oversized Power Cord.

==========

[]Go investigate.
[]Go scrounge a late-night snack.
[]Go crawl back under the table.
[]Go lay down on one of those "tatami" things.
>> No. 146480
[X]Go investigate.
Must look at shiny thingie. Must still have some leftover alcohol in blood.
>> No. 146481
[x]Go scrounge a late-night snack.

Eh. Someone else deal with it.
>> No. 146482
[x]Go investigate.

Let's see if we can lose a clone.
>> No. 146486
[x] Go lay down on one of those "tatami" things.
>> No. 146488
[X] Go crawl back under the table.
All I know is when I'm hungover I just want to curl up somewhere warm and conk out.
>> No. 146490
[x]Go crawl back under the table.
He can't handle shit in his state.
>> No. 146491
[x]Go investigate.
Mine!
>> No. 146492
[X]Go investigate.
>> No. 146495
[X] Go crawl back under the table.
>> No. 146501
[x]Go crawl back under the table.

I have a bad feeling about that cord. Don't do it, Tyler!
>> No. 146503
File 131665364327.jpg - (35.18KB , 551x716 , its-a-trap-ackbar.jpg ) [iqdb]
146503
[x]Go scrounge a late-night snack.

That cord is fishy.

Pic related.
>> No. 146507
[X]Go crawl back under the table.
-[X]Take advantage of the drunken girls.
--[X]By looting their pockets for evidence of them being communist mutant traitors. Or possibly planting evidence of the same on them.
>> No. 146511
For table crawlan gaems. Sorry, >>145238 .

This is actually a lifesaver, since I'm not really sure how to depicit the maidbot.
>> No. 146512
>>146511
It's cool; I don't have any idea what she's like either. Just do whatever.
>> No. 146551
You know what? Forget that light. You've seen too many Troubleshooters get distracted by shiny things and blunder into Commie traps. (Mostly on TV, but still.)

Besides which, your head is still occupied by a ferocious battle between two berserk bots bashing each other with massive damn hammers.

REALLY massive hammers.

All you want right now is to curl up somewhere warm and go back to sleep. Yes, sleep is what you've done more of than anything else for the last... two and a half days? Three?... but you also have an instinctive feeling that it's the best way out of this ridiculous out-of-nowhere migraine.

With a little bit of work, you manage to fit yourself back into your old space under the kotatsu between Yukari and Suika. Irksome as they may be awake, it's hard to deny that they provide good temperature control.

Normally, you would be checking your neighbors for exploitable evidence at the moment, but you don't think those clothes have any pockets. Sleep it is.

...Ohdamnitallshe'sstillsnoring

********

"AAAAAARGHSHUTTHEHELLUP"

Wow. Reimu can shout loud.

"IMGONNAGETYOUFORTHISYOUDAMNONILOLIAAAAAARGH"

Really loud.

"WHYDIDYOUDRINKALLFOUROFUSUNDERHEREYOUHORRIDLITTLETHING"

OW. Loud enough that you think you can feel your own headache coming back.

"Oh, you poor dear. Here, here." You think Yukari is reaching over towards Reimu for some reason.

"DONTTRYTODISTRACTMEWITHYOURMONSTERBOOBSYOUBOOBMONSTER"

"Oh, do be less rude, won't you? I just though your head would feel better here than on that hard floor."

"THATSENOUGHEVERYBODYOUTOFTHETABLE"

"Whaaaaaat?" Suika's drunk-drawl is just the same as ever.

"OHDAMNAHANGOVEREVERYONEGETINTHEHOTSPRINGS"

"But dear, that would also include-"

"IDONTCAREHESPROBABLYHUNGOVERTOOIJUSTWANTANICEHOTBATHDAMMITALL"

You get the feeling this is going to be a long night...

==========

[]Weasel your way out of the impromptu hot springs venture. Headache.
[]Weasel your way to the far side of a wooden divider. Rules.
[]Weasel your way to the same side of the wooden divider. Bored.
[]Weasel your way to the power room. Curious.
[]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.

==========
Apologies for the wait. I was pretty busy.

And before all you Anons get any funny ideas, there are still about... sixteen story hours of hormone suppressants in our man's system.

>> No. 146552
[X]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.

Gotta get some eats.
>> No. 146554
[x]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.

I think there was still plenty of rice, so you can probably come up with something decent for everyone with what's left of the other stuff.
>> No. 146555
[x]Weasel your way to the far side of a wooden divider. Rules.

Close enough to hear them while exercising proper hygiene. And rules are made to be broken~ Maybe Suika or Yukari will try something.
>> No. 146557
>>146554
Amend this with: [x]And don't forget the blue medication this time, assuming nothing interrupts your preparations.
>> No. 146558
[x]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
-[x]And don't forget the blue medication this time, assuming nothing interrupts your preparations.
>> No. 146560
[x]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
>> No. 146562
[x]Weasel your way to the same side of the wooden divider. Bored.

Do I really have to explain myself here?
>> No. 146563
[x]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
-[x]And don't forget the blue medication this time, assuming nothing interrupts your preparations.
>> No. 146573
[x]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
-[x]And don't forget the blue medication this time, assuming nothing interrupts your preparations.
>> No. 146576
[X]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
>> No. 146577
[X]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
-[X]And don't forget the blue medication this time, assuming nothing interrupts your preparations.
>> No. 146603
[c]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
>> No. 146607
[X]Weasel your way to the kitchen. Hungry.
-[X]And don't forget the blue medication this time, assuming nothing interrupts your preparations.
>> No. 146632
You really don't have patience for all of this shouting right now. Plus, it's giving you a headache.

"ANDTAKEOFFMYSPARETOPRIGHTNOWYOUDAMNBOOBMONSTERYOURDAMNMONSTERBOOBSSTRETCHEDITALLOUT"

Damn, but Reimu is loud right now.

"ITMIGHTNOTEVENFITANYMORE"

AAAAAARGHwillyouallpleaseshutup- right, that's it. You're going to the kitchen, and you're going there pronto.

Yup, pronto. Nice short walk.

The problem is... when you open up the fridge, it's packed to the brim with taiyaki. And more taiyaki. But wait, behind that stack of taiyaki, there's... another stack of taiyaki. Son of a Commie.

Snacks it is. Even though you're pretty sure eating all these high-sugar treats will make you get fat.

Aaaaand start from the tail. Break a chunk off, and-

Hold on a minute. You're forgetting something here.

Blue powder. Take with food.

Right.

Two (delicious, but sadly not nutritious) taiyaki later, the sprinklings of medicine have finally run out. It makes you feel...

Makes you feel...

Huh, it's not really changing how you feel at all. Your own expectations, however, are making you feel ripped off.

Well, that's done with. All that's left is the question of what to do next.

There's that apparent power room. There's that hot spring, which on the one hand was nice, but on the other hand is currently occupied by three girls with bizzare standards and tastes. There's places to sleep...

That's it, really, since you don't particularly feel like venturing off into the dark in someone else's clothes.

What now?

==========
[]To a tatami.
[]To the kotatsu.
[]To a bath.
[]To the power room.
==========
Yes, it was short. No, it didn't take this long to make; I missed another four hours between finishing it and posting due to taking one minute too long during the writing process and missing the close-out of an open ship's internet block.
>> No. 146634
[x] To a tatami.
>> No. 146637
[X]To the kotatsu.
Comfy.
>> No. 146639
[x]To the power room.
>> No. 146644
[X]To a bath.

Poor hygiene is after all treason.
>> No. 146645
[x]To a tatami.
>> No. 146646
[X] To a tatami.

Gotta get some sleeps.
>> No. 146652
[X] To a tatami.
>> No. 146677
[X]To a bath.
>> No. 146685
[X] To a bath.

Poor hygiene is treason.
>> No. 146687
[x] Bath.

Poor hygiene is treason!
>> No. 146698
[X] To The Bath.
>> No. 146700
Y'all sure do have an insatiable appetite for girls in hot springs. I approve, as long as you don't start kvetching about how I don't post any smut. Uncle Sam is watching my shipboard internet, guys.
>> No. 146730
>>146700
I'm surprised that you go as far as you do, considering.
>> No. 146794
>>146700
Of course no smut. What do you think this is, /at/?

We just want hilarious misunderstandings involving scantily-clad girls and a dude with a chemically-suppressed sex drive.
>> No. 146820
[x]Answer deceitfully...
----[x]"What's in it for me?"

I'd do it for free. But she doesn't need to know that.
>> No. 146821
[x]Answer deceitfully...
----[x]"What's in it for me?"

Everyone knows playing hard to get ensures you get a better deal.
>> No. 146822
[X]Answer deceitfully...
----[X]"What's in it for me?"

>>146820
>>146821
Exactly.
>> No. 146824
[x]Answer deceitfully...
----[x]"What's in it for me?"
>> No. 146832
>>146820
>>146821

Isn't that type of thing that would get us terminated if lucky back at Alpha Complex by Friend Computer? It isn't like Yukari is a fellow troubleshooter or somebody close to us on the color level but this crazy land's equivalent of VIOLET or even possibly ULTRAVIOLET.
>> No. 146833
[x]Answer honestly...
----[x]"I suppose I could help you."

Tide, I piss at thee.
>> No. 146834
[X]Answer deceitfully...
----[X]"What's in it for me?"

>>146832
>It isn't like Yukari is a fellow troubleshooter or somebody close to us on the color level but this crazy land's equivalent of VIOLET
I see what you did there. However, she's more like Friend Computer, given her ability to know everything going on and enact whatever changes she wants. Also, she did mention a reward earlier, and Friend Computer rewards successful Troubleshooters.
>> No. 146837
[x]Answer honestly...
----[x]"I suppose I could help you."

>>Also, she did mention a reward earlier, and Friend Computer rewards successful Troubleshooters.

True but Friend Computer also expects compliance and would probably react less then amused with somebody trying to weasel a reward out of it. We need to wait a while gathering intell before we try anything.
>> No. 146843
[x]Answer honestly...
----[x]What is in it for me?
>> No. 146846
Time for some quick, easy mental math.

When you were in the hot springs yesterday, night had just fallen. At the current time, night has fallen probably at least an hour ago. That makes you overdue for hygiene maintenance.

To the hot spring it is, then.

There are, of course, three heads protruding from the water's surface as you arrive, all facing away, two of them with tails of trailing color floating behind. Also, no sign of the divider.

Well, you know one of them, at least, won't be complaining. But that's because she'll be trying to get you to Do Things to one of the others instead. Dammit, Handlebars.

But when you think about it, Reimu did try to tell everyone to get in the spring. And announced pretty specifically that you were included in the order.

Ahh, forget worrying. That hot water looks mighty inviting.

A few minutes and one post-wash chill later, you're sinking into the warmth of the spring, head tilted back, staring at the stars. Stars - apparently, distant suns shining across vast distances. Or one of any number of other equally ludicrous explanations. You think the one where they're luminescent bugs is your favorite.

"Whatcha doin' so far away, guy? C'mere an' spend some time with the rest of us!"

Dammit, Handlebars!

"She's right, dear. It's not polite to sequester yourself all the way over there. Why not drift a little closer?"

Yukari too? Great.

"Sorry, Tyler, but could you humor those two? They're kind of loud, and I'm still hung over."

Reimu. How could you. This is just going to lead to Handlebars spouting off even more insane nonsese abWHOAhowdidyoudriftthatfarsidewaysthatfastwithoutmovingyourlimbsthismakesnosense.

"An' if you try to run off," Suika says as she forcibly folds you into a sitting position on a submerged rock, "you'll just spend time with us tired." The last word is punctuated by the little oni sitting herself down on your knee. Funny, she seems... heavier than you expected from her size, somehow.

You can already see Reimu's eyebrows twitching. What a complete mess this is turning out to be.

"Hey, Suika." The red-white's voice carries a tinge of irritation that's becoming increasingly familiar to you. "Could you maybe try not forcing the issue here? Or at least treat my employees with respect?"

"Whaddaya mean 'employees' with a plural, huh? All I see is your quote-unquote cook, and by the way, I can tell you totally want to jump his bones."

"Are you sure you want to keep pushing my buttons, oni?"

Within moments, Handlebars is off of your knee and wrapped around your new best friend. "I'll push your buttons all I want, dammit!"

"What are you doing, you littlEEK!"

You make a point of not observing the chaos yourself. It's almost certain to be one of those things they don't want you to look at.

"So, let me ask while they're busy." Yukari seems to have positioned her mouth directly in your ear. "Have you given any thought to the issues facing my land of Gensokyo...?"

Well, even if you do sort of have a choice, this is something you had wanted to avoid answering.

==========
[]Answer honestly...
[]Answer deceitfully...

----[]"I suppose I could help you."
----[]"What's in it for me?"
----[]"That would be... exceptionally hazardous to me, I'm afraid."
==========
This is a format-fixing repost of the now-deleted post 146819. All writefagship is of mediocre quality. It is decorated with Undeserved Popularity and encircled with bands of Short Updates. Not attached to this post is an image of an oni and a miko. The oni is sexually harassing the miko. The lack of an image relates to the assorted difficulties of posting from Navy machines.
>> No. 146855
File 131737946686.png - (1.07MB , 710x645 , reimu12655762.png ) [iqdb]
146855
I'll just leave this here.
>> No. 146885
>>146855

D'aaaaaaawwwwwww...

Also, I'll be waiting another day (maybe more) to call the vote due to another Annoying Thing Happening on the ship. If any of you other anons feel the need to chip in, feel free.

But, of course, this would be gathering votes on its own if it was a decision y'all actually thought was important, so ultimately I'm just being egotistical here.
>> No. 146895
[x]Answer honestly...
----[x]"What's in it for me?"
Yukari isn't Friend Computer.

Higher ranked people can simply order.

Asking means something needs to be given back.
>> No. 146898
[x]Answer honestly...
----[x]"What's in it for me?"
>> No. 146915
[x] Answer honestly...
-[x] "What's in it for me?"
>> No. 146916
Thanks for all your votes. Writan in a bit.
>> No. 146917
[x]Answer deceitfully...
--[x]"That would be... exceptionally hazardous to me, I'm afraid."
We want to do it, just not with her.

Oh wait, votes are called. Still.
>> No. 147094
The following stuff is slowing me down:

-Maintenance
-Spot checks
-Poorly timed watches
-A bad habit of reading Let's Plays when I should be working

I apologize profusely for the resulting failure to update.
>> No. 147636
The base of it, ultimately, is that you don't really have a choice. After as much as you've willingly dealt with what's in front of you, you'd probably have an Offenses List a mile long staring you down if you made it back to the Complex. You're sure that even if it didn't end in your clone template being deleted outright, there would still be a mountain of fines and at least one termination.

But then, why let her know that?

"Yes," you reply, "I've been thinking. Mainly, I've been thinking... what's in it for me?"

This, of course, is the part where you play hard-to-buy.

"Oh, you don't think staying here is enough compensation?" From the slight changes in the volume of her voice, she seems to be moving closer. You're pretty sure the staccato splashing is from Suika messing with Reimu, though.

"Well, why would it be?" Time to get your patter going. "I have no assets or history here. Every rule I learned to work with is absent, I have hardly any contacts, and the property and clearance I worked for is gone." You lift your arms out horizontally, palms up, in a pointedly exaggerated shrug. "How is the loss of my life's efforts supposed to be a good thing?"

"I'm sure you can think of ways, dear."

Your eyebrow twitches as a sensation of weight reaches the top of your palm. "And I'm guessing you dropping your chest in my hand is supposed to be a 'way'? No sale."

"Oh, really?" The weight vanishes, and the voice closes in on your ear. "Well, then, how about this...?"

And the universe shudders, violently and horribly, leaving every surface, every color, every fleck of light in the night sky somehow wholly and utterly wrong.

"I've done some research," Yukari hisses in a voice devoid of her usual warm, yet vaguely condescending tone. "And I know what would happen if you were to turn up where you came from in your current state. That wonderful little recording device you carry around? If its contents make it back to your little rocks-fall-everyone-dies source land, your authorities will be very."

A thin arc of fingernail presses gently into the back of your neck.

"Very."

A second follows.

"Interested."

You feel a soft, but very swift scratching sensation swipe straight sideways across your skin. It's a fairly good facsimile of a gesture you're rather familiar with.

"Now, normally I would simply offer to keep that overbuilt cell phone here, to keep you safe from those rules you claim to love working with so much. But since I'm feeling managimous, I'll throw in something extra..."

The shuddering seems to play out in reverse, and the world feels right again.


"We can arrange you an excellent kitchen," your new target of terror continues, "with a dining room out front and a very nice bit of money for supplies. A restaurant of your own, dear. All the livelihood a human could ever need."

"Um." Your brain is still trying to process the... the... the thing that happened.

"Act now, and I'll even throw in a second-story room to live in!"

"Um."

==========
[]"Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."
[]"Sounds like a good enough setup to me."
[]"Aww, not something I can share?"
[]"Make it two rooms and you've got a deal."
==========
Well, it seems like the best way to break two weeks of writer's block is by taking several days off from even thinking about it. Unfortunately, using Monster Hunter for said break tends to drain my mental word reservoir something fierce.
>> No. 147639
[x]"Sounds like a good enough setup to me."

We're all friends here, aren't we?
>> No. 147643
[X]"Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."

Keep her on distance, KEEP. HER. ON. DISTANCE. for a second there. She wants us to act rashly, otherwise she wouldn't have scared us like that. Don't put yourself down for some sort of commitment that can bite us in the ass later, especially when someone wants to force to to it.
Also, why in all the heavens is Yukari always, in every single case, an asshole? If she would have offered that house without all the horrible imagery, I'd have said yes in an instant.
>> No. 147644
>>147643
>could bite us in the ass later
We're not dealing with coulds, here. She's blackmailing us. Best thing to do is try to milk her for as much as possible.
>> No. 147645
[x] "I already have a kitchen."

Raymoo~
>> No. 147647
[X]"Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."

STAY ON TARGET. STAY ON TARGET.
>> No. 147648
[x] "Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."
>> No. 147651
>>147647
[x] "I already have a kitchen."

Stay on target? This is our target.
>> No. 147652
[x] "Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."
>> No. 147653
[x] "Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."
Get me some DAMCON here!
>> No. 147655
[X] "Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."

Yukari, stop being the hole in Asshole.
>> No. 147662
Yukari, keep being an asshole. That was cool.
>> No. 147663
>>147643

Yukari didn't do enough research on Alpha Complex, which led her to take offense at her womanly charms being turned down. And this particular Yukari takes a LOT of offense at that sort of thing.
>> No. 147664
[x]"Aww, not something I can share?"

Well, we got what we wanted. We learned the 'why' of the offer, though in a way that leaves much to be desired.

I would have been sold with the boobs in hands trick.
>> No. 147666
>>147663

Ah, I see. So now we have a sure-fire way to troll her. Thanks man.
>> No. 147667
[x]"Sounds like a good enough setup to me."
>> No. 147668
[x] "I already have a kitchen."

No regrets, only path, etc.
>> No. 147680
[x] "I already have a kitchen."
>> No. 147694
File 131876611651.jpg - (85.47KB , 640x480 , timid-rabbit.jpg ) [iqdb]
147694
[x] "I already have a kitchen."

Yukari, how would Reimu feel if you took away her cook? And, I mean, I bet we wouldn't like that either...
>> No. 147698
[]"Sounds like a good enough setup to me."

Because it is good.
>> No. 147699
Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating.
>> No. 147700
[X]"Second. Brain broke. Recombobulating."
>> No. 147715
[x] "I already have a kitchen."

He's got a pretty good deal going with Reimu.
>> No. 147717
[x] I already have a kitchen.
>> No. 147724
Eh, nothing says you can't invite her over frequently and give her a 100% discount if you accept.

[x]".gnitalubobmoceR .ekorb niarB .dnoceS"
>> No. 147745
>>146047
[x] "I already have a kitchen."
I like this one, might make Reimu happy that we would want to stay and be her cook.
>> No. 147749
Technically, the write-in lost, but it pulled a lot of votes and it's not exactly mutually exclusive with the winner, so GATTAI DA. Sometimes, being a creature of whimsy is fun like that.

Also, SystemFailure? Get yourself out of the almost-failing-a-class boat so you can get back to work. Failure to comply is treason. (I know you see this, you're voting in my thread. With your trip and everything.)
>> No. 147769
[x] "I already have a kitchen."

Because voting after it was called is pointless AND fun
>> No. 147785
>>147749
On it, Captain.

(Seriously, I am. Your comment gave me some major motivation.)
>> No. 147858
"Wstfgl."

"Pardon me, dear?"

"Dnoces. Nekorb niarb."

A hand lightly clasps you shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"Recombob. Repile. Fix, fix, waiting..." You draw in a great, long breath. "Excuse me, I was having a minor breakdown. We apologize for the inconvenience."

You hear someone start to say something, but whoever it is, they're quickly interrupted as you raise a hand, pointing one finger to the sky. "A moment, please. I'd like to be sure everything's back to normal here."

Okay. Stay calm.

Stars... interesting. Hand on shoulder... slightly discomforting by virtue of being skin-to-skin contact, but overall not made of wrong. Reimu... still being bothered by the mini-oni.

Yep, you're not in a universe of subtle but absolute horror anymore. You can drop your hand now.

"I'd like to start," you announce, "by pointing out that I do, in fact, currently have a kitchen and a place to sleep. So I'm not really in a rush to obtain those particular necessities."

"Aww, ain't he cute? I'm tellin' ya, Reimu, this guy's a keeper!"

"Can it, Handlebars. Anyways, I'm open to options that aren't redundant. Like, say, a steady supply of ingredients and cooking supplies. Or maybe the retrieval of my TV shows from back home, if you can manage that. I only managed to watch the first two episodes of Giant Warbot before I wound up here."

"So, tell me, dear... can I count on your assistance?"

"As long as it doesn't involve me shooting any friends or getting killed, yes."

The hand on your shoulder loosens its grasp, fingers sliding gently forward and down, pulling you backwards into contact with Yukari. "You made the right choice, dear! It's good to have you on board." More words, too, breathed in your ear at a far lower volume. "And please do forgive a girl for losing her temper."

"Just don't do it again," you hiss. "Oh, and also-" you dial up your volume a little for the next bit - "Could you please loosen up your grip? I'm not really a contact-sports kind of guy, see."

A great sigh brushes across the side of your face, and then the soft, squishy circles on your back shrink and recede. "Such a blunt rejection. You wound me, dear."

"Yeah! You should be ashamed of yourself, blowin' off a seventeen year old girl like that!"

"Can it, Handlebars. And speaking of people being too up close and personal, you should really let go of Reimu now."

"Oh? Whyzat, tough guy?"

==========
[]"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
[]"Because I need a word with you."
[]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."

--[]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[]Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.
--[]Request advice re: better relations with the others...
--[]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.
--[]Engage in idle chatter.
==========
Pick up to two sub-options.
>> No. 147860
[]"Because I need a word with you."
--[]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.

Jeeze why do these people all keep making implications about getting sticky and sweaty and gross, when procreation is intended to be a clinical process involving test tubes, somehow. Just doesn't make sense. Land of madness.
>> No. 147861
[X]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."

--[X]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[X]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.
>> No. 147862
[X]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."

--[X]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[X]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.

The three options at the top are for choosing with whom to talk about these things, right? Then this option probably means talking to the both of them.
>> No. 147863
[X]"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
--[]Engage in idle chatter.

This is what I want - the guy needs to spend some time talking with Reimu, doesn't need to be important stuff, but it would be nice to give him a sense of belonging.

This is, of course, not at all related to her being the nicest person who likes us thus far, and how we just dealt with Yukari threatening us.

And she still managed to give me a boner, goddammit, how does she do it?
I swear, Yukari can just sit and have a meal, and I'd get a boner for her anyway, somehow...

>> No. 147864
[x]"Because I need a word with you."
--[x]Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.
--[x]Request advice re: better relations with the others...

Self-defense advice from Suika. Yes, please. Social advice from Suika. Yes, pleaser.
>> No. 147866
[x]"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
--[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[x]Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.
>> No. 147869
[X] "Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
--[X] Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
----[X] Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.
>> No. 147872
[x]"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
--[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[x]Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.

Seriously, what is with these people? Always touching and feeling.
>> No. 147883
[x]"Because I need a word with you."
--[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[x]Engage in idle chatter.

This seems like a good chance to smooth out relations with Handlebars Suika.
Lead off with a subject she excels at and then idle chat to get know her a bit better.
>> No. 147899
[x]"Because I need a word with you."
--[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[x]Engage in idle chatter.
>> No. 147905
[1]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."
-[1.1]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
-[1.2]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.
>> No. 147909
[x]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."
-[xx]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
>> No. 147926
[X]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."
[XX]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
[XX]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.
I just can't wait for a sub-sub-vote. Oh the possibilities.
>> No. 147932
[x]"Because I need a word with you."
--[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[x]Engage in idle chatter.
>> No. 147935
Holy three-directional tie, Batman! Quick, someone tiebreak between Reimu-physicalness-spellcards, Suika-physicalness-rambling, and Yukari-physicalness-boundaries.

Or bump up another option set until it wins instead. Either way, it strokes my ego resolves things.
>> No. 147942
[x]"Because I need a word with you."
[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
[x]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.
>> No. 147953
[x]"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
--[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[x]Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.
>> No. 147955
[X]"Because it's distracting me from important discussions about my future."
--[X]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
--[X]Have a chat about social boundaries, and how everyone can avoid overstepping them.

Who better to ask about boundaries than the woman in control of them?
>> No. 147957
[x]"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits."
[x]Inquire about the... physicalness that people seem to have here.
[x]Ask about better ways to defend yourself than just pointing, shooting, and trying not to get slow lasers in your face.
>> No. 147967
For delicious miko chatter.

Watch another vote for each of the oni and the hag onee-san pop up in the few minutes it takes between me loading the thread to count and this post making it to the board.
>> No. 148036
I'm finally producing a decent number of words, but I just can't get a good transition between conversation topics. I promise to find something workable before posting.
>> No. 148076
"Because it's my turn to talk to her, and I can't have an effective conversation with you poking at her squishy bits." You're really starting to get sick of the way Handlebars is all grabby all the time, and your tone shows it.

For her part, the little oni lets go of Reimu and flops backwards to float on the surface of the spring. "Oh, fiiiiiine," she grouses, "I'll just grope Yukari instead."

"Oh, do show some decorum, won't you, dear?"

"I'll 'um' your 'decor', you fancy-shmancy old boobinite!"

"Oh, my~"

With a sound of rushing water, both she-of-huge-chest and she-of-no-chest tumble into suddenly present holes in the hot spring's floor, leaving you with nothing to look at but the night sky and a still-reddened shrine maiden. You're still not sure why she keeps turning that color. Maybe it's a reaction to the bath-heat?

You really should get to conversing, though.

"...you."

"Huh?"

"Thank you," Reimu repeats. "For not being... like Suika, you know? I don't think I could deal with two of her."

"Uh, right. Yeah. About that, though?"

"Mmm?"

"I kind of have to ask. Why is everyone so physical around here? Neither of those two friends of yours seem to have any idea what personal space is."

The miko lets off a dejected sigh. "Those two... they're kind of, y'know, how do I say it..."

You watch and wait while she twiddles her fingers and seems to literally chew on her upcoming words.

"Oh, forget sugarcoating it. They're dirty-minded clumps of pure frustration gunning for cheap thrills. But of course, nobody that Suika would want wants Suika because she looks like a little girl, and nobody gets too close to Yukari because everyone's flat-out terrified of her. So really, all they can do to work out that frustration is get in people's space every chance they get." The red-white's head flops backward on her neck, leaving her eyes aimed up at the stars and her ever-present ribbon mere millimeters from the water's surface. "It's kind of sad, really. They're not bad people, they're really not, they just..."

"Okay, rewind on the infodump a bit." You hate to have to interrupt, but there's still something you're missing here. "So is this a hormone thing? Why aren't they taking their hormone suppressants like everyone else?"

Hell, why aren't you taking your suppressants, aside from not having access to them? And which of those pills from that doctor would be the right ones?

"Hormone suppressants? What are you talking about, Tyler?"

...Oh.

This explains so much.

Reimu blinks a few times, then flawlessly parrots your thoughts at you, word for word. "I mean," she continues, "I thought it was weird how little you... a-hem... reacted to being in a hot spring full of girls with nothing on, but this explains everything."

"So you don't have those in Gen- wait. Waitwaitwait. If you don't have those pills here, how do you know what they are?"

You swear you can hear her snrking. "It's obvious from the name, you goof. What am I ever going to do with you?"

In response, a hole in the air opens up, and two hands briefly emerge to make some sort of hand gesture before disappearing again. It looks sort of like putting the keys in an autohack starter.

"GodsDAMMIT YUKARI!"

And Reimu had almost gone back to her normal color, too.

Words drift from the hole as it shrinks away to nothing. "You know you have to sometime with someone, dear~"

"...Jeez. Stupid Yukari."

You think you should stay quiet for a bit.

The flush slowly subsides from the miko's skin, leaving behind a more familiar color. It's... oddly comforting, somehow.

This is a highly unusual thought process. You really need to get some hormone suppressants before you start acting like Handlebars. Maybe that doctor can help.

But... you're not exactly having an easy time holding on to that thought, or any thought, for that matter.

Life is good. The warm spring, the distant stars, a good friend...

What the Sector HFL is wrong with you, trusting someone this easily?

Aside from the fact that if Reimu were going to backstab you, she already skipped a whole lot of opportunities to do so scot-free.

Huh. Maybe all these irrational gut feelings are steering you right, after all. Maybe you can really live without questioning everyone's motives and hoping none of them are even remotely smarter than you.

Maybe warbots will fly out of your butt.

But even with all those "maybe"s - or, more likely, because of the more unpleasant "maybe"s - an old, unanswered question floats its way to the top of your brain. So old, it's been a whole day and a half since the last time you asked.

"So... Reimu. There's something I was wondering about."

"Mmm?"

"I've heard about this... don-mock-you or whatever-"

"Dan-ma-ku, Tyler."

"- danmaku, then, that people in Gensokyo are supposed to use for all of their shooting needs. I have the means to get the basic shots -"

"That was quick. Most outsiders take a week or two."

"- I happen to have a special barrel on my laser for that. Anyways, I was wondering if I absolutely have to use those insane bullet patterns, since I can really only shoot in straight lines."

Reimu holds two fingers to her chin and hmms in thought. "Well, that could be tricky. I guess I could argue for you being covered by the rules on incident resolution and shot types, but we would need an incident, first. Something potentially dangerous."

This time, it's your turn to mimic her. "So, something like..."

==========
[]"...Abnormally low temperatures?"
[]"...All the lighting being replaced with defective bulbs?"
[]"...Bizarre booms in the prevalence of plant life?"
[]"...Obnoxious reporters from HPD&MC picking fights with everyone?"
[]"...Some uppity new arrival trying to shake things up too much?"
[]"...Spontaneous earthquakes?"
[]"...Problems with nuclear reactors?"
[]"...Inexplicable aerial transit devices?"
[]"...A giant warbot roaming around randomly?"
[]"...Obnoxios reporters from HPD&MC picking fights with each other?"
[]"...Some bunch of below-notice citizens getting excessively violent with each other?"
[]"...A bunch of tiny, easily ignored things gathering together? Y'know, with the maybe of being dangerous?"
==========
Come on, jinx it, motherfuckers. You know you want to.
>> No. 148078
[X] "...Some sort of Communist revolution?"

Because Friend Computer raised us to prepare for one thing and one thing only. So that when the commies come a calling, we'll be ready.
>> No. 148084
Jinx it? Fine.

[x]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"
>> No. 148085
[X]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"

Screw individual plots, lets slam them together in a multi complex plan that would make Tzeetch proud. And then watch it suddenly but inevidably crash in a 30 gambit pileup.

So in other words: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
>> No. 148086
>>148084

No, you fool! The whole thing is a communist plot. All of it. The money, the plans, the people, the goals. All communist.

EVERY LAST ONE.
>> No. 148087
[x]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"

Maximum snafu is go!
>> No. 148088
[X]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"

Screw individual plots, lets slam them together in a multi complex plan that would make Tzeetch proud. And then watch it suddenly but inevidably crash in a 30 gambit pileup.

So in other words: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
>> No. 148089
[X] "...A service firm upgrading the security clearance of all public areas in the sector to RED for the benefit of their employees, which threatens an economic collapse as all of the INFRARED citizens are unable to leave their dorms?"

Best I could come up with for EoSD.
>> No. 148090
>Come on, jinx it, motherfuckers. You know you want to.
That sounded like a challenge.

[x]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"

And this sounded like an 'I accept'.
>> No. 148091
File 131949870726.jpg - (34.43KB , 304x400 , come_at_me_bro.jpg ) [iqdb]
148091
[x]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"
>> No. 148096
[X]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"
>> No. 148100
[x]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"

Brace for incoming awesome
>> No. 148101
[x]"...Some uppity new arrivals trying to shake things up too much?"

We don't need to jinx this. It's Predestined.
>> No. 148102
[x]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"

i dont know where this is going, but it seems like fuuuun!
>> No. 148106
[X]"...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"
>> No. 148107
[x] "...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"
>> No. 148108
[x] "...Some uppity newcomer unleashing a giant warbot and replacing everyone's lighting with defective bulbs that don't work due to the sudden chill and odd surge in earthquake activity, which causes a nearby nuclear reactor to start acting oddly, causing nearby plants to start growing oddly in spite of the weather, which then causes a group of otherwise easily ignored citizens to gather and start fighting over space on some inexplicable flying transport that showed up overnight, all of which causes the local obnoxious reporters to get into a brawl with each other and anyone who happens to be standing nearby in your typical communist plot?"
>> No. 148109
I am TOTALLY rolling with this. Called for "Seamlessly mention every major incident in Gensokyo for the last couple years, and accidentally quantum-trigger every Alpha-Complex-related thing possible all at once".

Apologies to >>148089; sorry, but Seeing What I Did There seems to be a losing proposition today.
>> No. 148113
>>148109
Don't worry we saw it, this was just more fun.
>> No. 148168
You take a moment to remember as many Troubleshooter-worthy events as possible. Granted, most of them didn't involve you, but - as usual - there's no reason to tell her that.

"Something like, say... all of the common areas being reclassified RED, forcing most of the citizens to stay in their barracks and risking economic collapse... along with a sudden loss of heating across multiple sectors, and all the lighting being replaced with defective and potentially dangerous lightbulbs..."

You seem to have Reimu's attention now.

"...Leading to abnormal plant growth in undesired locations, which the local reporters use as an excuse to pick fights with everyone and their bunkmate..."

She's blinking pretty rapidly, there.

"...Then some arrogant new promotion decides to try and shake things up, and there are some coincidental earthquakes at the same time but those don't count becuase it's just a bad pun, so someone with no idea what they're doing winds up in charge of the local nuclear reactor..."

Why is her mouth hanging halfway open like that? Oh, well, might as well keep going.

"...So someone sends an inexplicable flying transport around, just in time for a rogue warbot to start wandering around at random, and that leads those reporters from before to pick fights with everyone they missed the first time, including each other, while all the low-status citizens start brawling with each other for stupid reasons."

You swear if the red-white's jaw drops any further, it'll just fall off.

"Oh, also a bunch of distracting but ultimately ignorable little things wind up being tangentially involved with a Communist plot."

There is a moment of total silence, and then Reimu lets out one of those near-musical laughs. "Yukari told you, didn't she? There's no way she didn't tell you. That was just too perfect."

"Huh?"

"You know, just now when you listed off weird variations of every major Incident over the last few years?" She smiles at you ruefully. "Unless you're going to tell me that's what happened where you came from, instead?"

"Um. Well." You can't help but scratch at the back of your neck. "Actually, that's exactly what I'm going to tell you."

All you get out of that is another laugh, followed shortly by the sound of that melody that the shrine maiden keeps humming. Which, all things considered, is not a bad response at all.

It's a nice tune, too. Catchy. Even if the opening line is made mostly of four- to six-long strings of the same note.

So. Back to enjoying your surroundings, which remains a novel and absorbing diversion.

"It really is strange, don't you think? The more things change, the more they stay the same."

"Yeah."

It's... getting late.

"We've been in here a while. D'you think we should go to bed now?" Reimu definitely sounds a lot less flustered than she did a few minutes ago. Not being around Handlebars seems to help with that.

She raises a good point...
==========
[]"Yeah, let's call it a night."
--[]"I have a lot to think about. I figure I should sleep on it."
--[]"But do you have any extra blankets? It's cold tonight."
--[]"After we grab a quick bite."
[]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[]"Why don't we talk a little longer?"
--[]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
--[]"How about a snack for now?"
==========
This was a simple binary choice when I first wrote it. I figured binary choices were proof positive of how lazy and uncreative I am, though, so...
>> No. 148172
[]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
argh! out of memory!
>> No. 148176
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[X]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"

Gotta be ready for when the commies try to attack.
>> No. 148177
>[...]the sound of that melody that the shrine maiden keeps humming.
>It's a nice tune, too. Catchy. Even if the opening line is made mostly of four- to six-long strings of the same note.
I can't help but get the feeling there's something I'm missing.

[x]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[x]"Why don't we talk a little longer?"
--[x]"How about a snack for now?"

These are not mutually exclusive. They will do nicely.
>> No. 148178
[x]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[x]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
I didn't noticed, but he's right. A day-long nap this was.
>> No. 148179
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[X]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
>> No. 148185
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[X]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"

>>148177
I'm guessing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRelf7LkH2s
>> No. 148186
[x]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[x]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
>> No. 148189
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[X]"Why don't we talk a little longer?"


>>148185
If so, I sure would like to know how she hums everything after the opening line. There are parts of it I can just barely follow when just listening, let alone trying to hum that song (or ANY Touhou music, for that matter).
>> No. 148190
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[X]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"

>>148189
Easy. Don't hum everything. Simplify (or outright ignore) mercilessly.
>> No. 148201
>>148189
Same way they sing it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVtTNN8jJXU
>> No. 148210
I can't follow YouTube links over this horribad Navy internet, so I can't properly confirm nor deny whether or not you all have the right song in mind. (Maiden's Capriccio ~ Dream Battle, incidentally.)

As somewhat suggested by >>148190 and >>148201, Reimu's just humming the melody line. As not really suggested by anyone - and not mentioned properly in updates, either, because Tyler doesn't know the song - she's also humming slower than the in-game track.

Anyways, I'm going back to a policy of not calling votes in under twenty-four hours, so if you don't want to see my atrociously bad danmaku scenes the current leading option win, get those reply buttons pressed. If you do want to see me fail my next Writefagging check horribly the current leading option win, vote anyways - you never know who's going to swing things between you reading this and me popping on to call it.
>> No. 148216
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
[X]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
>> No. 148308
[X]"But we were sleeping most of the day already."
--[X]"Maybe you could help me practice not getting hit?"
This works.
>> No. 148310
[]"Yeah, let's call it a night."
--[]"Are you hungry, though? I could make something to eat for you before we head off to bed."
--[]"But do you have any extra blankets? It's cold tonight."

People, we need to wine and dine this woman.
The best way to do so?
Cook for her.

We need to prepare for when our hormones are working again, after all.
>> No. 148394
Seems I have to write what I fail hardest at writing. Time to boot up Imperishable Night again; memory alone won't give me any good descriptions of hellish storms of amulets.
>> No. 148422
>>148394
I'll be sure to vote for fight scenes so you can get lots of practice.
>> No. 148554
It fucking sucks. Make sure to drink lots of water. I know I will.
>> No. 149098
So I just spent like six days in sickbay thanks to an opportunistic case of cellulitis that set up shop in my leg while I was dehydrated. That's four days of being headfogged thanks to constant IV drips, thirst, and hunger, plus two days of not working due to still being stuck in a sickbed off of the ships' computers. And I have a limited amount of access to these for a bit, too, seeing as how I'm technically supposed to be staying in my bunk outside meals. (The Doc did say I should spend more time moving around compared to when I was in sickbay, though, so I'm not *that* far out of line.)

In theory, I should get another post up Eventually (TM). In practice, why the hell should you wait for me to update instead of finding something better to read? [/attempttokillthisthingsoIcanmakesomethingwithabetterstyle]
>> No. 149100
>>149098
Only you have the power to kill this thing and write something else!

sorry about your sickness
>> No. 149113
>>149098
NOOOOOO don't abandon the poor troubleshooter! His de-hormone suppressed hijinks were only just beginning!
>> No. 149116
Possibly dropping this story? Pretty sure your clearance isn't high enough for that.

Taking a week or two or however long to get things back in order is no reason to stop the story. Friend Computer knows we've had longer hiatuses broken.
>> No. 149163
>>149098
:<

Please don't drop this story, its very enjoyable.
>> No. 149673
How did you get yourself into this, again...?

Oh, right. Something possessed you to ask Reimu Hakurei - the premier Troubleshooter (or, in the local parlance, "incident resolver") of this screwy little world of drunken Junior Citizens who could probably bench-press warbots and superpowerful, all-knowing unregistered mutants with chests that just plain can't happen without skipping your hormone suppressants until at least age twenty - to teach you how not to get shot in the local insane, flashy firefights.

This genius idea is about to call down one of the local insane, flashy firefights directly on your head.

CRAP.


The good news is that you've finally wrangled your way back into your assigned jumpsuit and reflec coveralls, and very well gotten your laser back into your hands, too. The bad news is that this is the entirety of the good news.

"You look worried, you know."

Well of COURSE I do, your brain screams. You're probably about to murder me horribly without any intention of doing so thanks to my lack of whatever logic-defying properties let you people survive constant laser bombardment with only minor clothing damage, and I only have five more lives to live.

You manage to croak out a falsely-confident "Yeah, a bit."

Reimu claps a hand to your shoulder. "There's really nothing to panic over here, you know. Danmaku is guaranteed non-lethal, and I have plenty enough control to avoid giving you any serious injuries. Even if you take a hard barrage to the chest, you'll be fine by morning. Probably."

"That's not very reassuring, you know..."

"Oh, you'll be fine. Quit worrying! Take it easy for a bit!" And with that, the presumably mighty red-white steps onto a solid patch of nothing and soars into the sky, brandishing her tasselled stick of office. A gohei, right? "Well, not right this minute, though. This may just be practice, but I expect to see a real effort here."

Well, this is just perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"So, then..."

Yup. Perfect.

"Evil Sealing Circle."

A full sheaf of rectangular paper tags seem to spring unbidden from the miko's sleeves, spending only a fraction of an instant in her hands before she flicks them outward to defy physics and fly in a maddening array of lines without the slightest trace of deviation. You're instantly fenced in, the crisscrossing streams of red-on-white restricting you to a tiny patch of ground.

Even as the amulet storms begin to move, you can't help but feel vastly less intimidated by this than the last danmaku pattern you faced. Somehow, the speedy little pieces of paper just can't make your survival instincts scream the way that slow lasers did. Probably because, y'know, lasers.

Emboldened by the apparent simplicity of the pattern, you aim your own laser - which you would have been worried about doing, bar the fact that this shiny new barrel seems to get its massive capacity by sacrificing almost all stopping power - and gently squeeze the triggwhatthecrapisthatringofredarrows. Those things are packed densely. Absurdly densely. How are you supposed to-

The red arrows collapse into tiny pellets, leaving just barely enough room to squeeze between.

Hah!

But the paper charms are swinging back the other way, forcing more fancy footwork from you as you alternate between sidling away from the motion of the amulet streams and slinking between the little collapsed-arrow pellets. It's not the easiest thing in the world, given how tight the gaps in the pellet waves are - any closer together, and you doubt they would be navigable at all - but you think you're starting to feel the flow here.

Keep firing, keep dodging, keep firing - careful, the amulet formations switched which way they're swinging again - keep firing. Easy does it, now.

The swarm of shots suddenly sublimes to... something, somehow, but you don't know what the little circular bits are. They clatter to the ground in a far noisier fashion than anything that Reimu's attacks had managed.

"Not bad. Not bad at all." Your host drifts down from the sky and nods appreciatively. "I think you'll do just fine."

Between the mental exhaustion of working around these absurdly slow shots and the physical effects of it being some hour of the morning when only the night-shifters are awake, your response is limited to a "...Yeah. Maybe."

"So, call it for the night?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess."

==========
[]Wonder what happened to the comms officer...
[]Wonder what happened to the team leader...
[]Wonder what happened to the equipment guy...
[]Wonder what happened to the loyalty officer...
[]Wonder what happened to the happiness officer...
[]Wonder what happened to the hygiene off- no, wait, that was my job this time.
==========
My authorial funk has been defeated by the realization that the other ideas I haven't thrown out yet are ideas that could stand to wait until I have a full story's worth of CYOA experience under my belt, anyways. Let's continue, please.

Incidentally, this vote is another Quantum Event Inducer - just a much less egregious one than the last.

>> No. 149675
[]Wonder what happened to the equipment guy...
good to have you back
>> No. 149677
[x]Wonder what happened to the comms officer...

>realization that stuff can be put off until you're more experienced
That has saved me from crippling indecision so many times. Best realization.
>> No. 149679
[x]Wonder what happened to the happiness officer...
>> No. 149680
[X] Wonder what happened to the loyalty officer...

Hopefully something serious. We'd be in a lot trouble if he/she/it shows up. Well, you're always in trouble if the loyalty officer takes an interest in you but more so than usual, now.

>realization that stuff can be put off. Period.
You really don't need more than that.
>> No. 149682
[x]Wonder what happened to the loyalty officer...
>> No. 149683
[X]Wonder what happened to the equipment guy...
>> No. 149688
[X]Wonder what happened to the happiness officer...
>> No. 149689
[x]Wonder what happened to the comms officer...
Is she a woman?
>> No. 149691
[X] Wonder what happened to the equipment guy...

Yes! You're back! Glad to hear that you're feeling better.
>> No. 149697
[X] Wonder what happened to the equipment guy...

Did he have any R&D equipment, or did he dump it on someone else?
>> No. 149747
I do not proofread hard enough, and I did not get to work quickly enough after booting up Imperishable Night again. If I did, I would have recognized before posting that I got the operation of Dream Sign [Evil Sealing Circle] backwards. Free fail for everyone!

Also, calling it here. The fact nobody cares where the team leader wound up has been noted, and may be exploited to make my job easier.
>> No. 149943
Posting on behalf of the author:

>EFFFFFFFFFFFFF

The site filtering company that the Navy uses just categorized touhou-project as a porn site, those goons. I require the assistance of a troper to go post an i'm-sorry-but-this-is-the-problem message on my (mediocre, but I like writing, so oh well) story.

And before you ask, no I am not writing smut, nor is there any that I'm aware of on /th/. (For all that is good and holy, don't go on /at/ at work.)

Source: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=yci5c9o4sux9pa1gajmuooqm&page=1920 , 6th post from the bottom.
>> No. 149944
No chance of knowing which company so as to appeal said denomination?
>> No. 149945
File 132187418323.jpg - (6.23KB , 146x198 , images.jpg ) [iqdb]
149945
>>149943
>THP
>Porn site
>> No. 149968
I'm sorry to hear about the inability to visit the site and I hope someone will forward this message to weasel.

This site ultimately does host adult content and is therefore judged by most filter services as inappropriate. In fact, I am not sure we are 100% covered under law since we have no obvious disclaimer for the site in general. Now on to the helpful part:

I often find myself using free internet kiosks while traveling and such and feel the need to circumvent the complete block in order to mindlessly refresh the site. A simple workaround is to use the current ip for the site (98.142.216.180) instead of the domain name in the address bar (we also have an ipv6 address but I don't have that at hand). Most filters filter domains, not IPs.

A more permanent and elegant solution is to look into a VPN or something like Tor to access the site. Or, if you have access to a remote box, simply ssh tunnel (something like ssh -D 12345 remoteip and then use a localhost socks proxy in your browser set at 12345).

Hope that helps and if that doesn't do it if you pop onto IRC I'll be glad to help however I can.
>> No. 149979
Messages relayed, reply from Weasel:

To the anon who wanted the filtering company's name: I already attempted an appeal to the company, but they're either unable or unwilling to file /at/ as porn while also filing the remainder of the site as "miscellaneous". That, or all those anons who voted for pastry smut in City Quest screwed the pooch. I'm not sure. (For the record, I voted against it, and City Quest is Kahi, and Kahi is awesome, and you should all at least go read Patchy Quest. Also if any of you hippies start a habit of shitposting on his threads as some sort of misguided revenge for maybe possibly disabling me for less than a month, I will turn this car around.)

To Teruyo: Thank you for your... damn, I can't find the right word. But thanks. Also, thanks for suggesting the IP treachery, which I will give a shot so as to go to the currently worksafe boards... but not to /shrine/, or the first page of /others/. I need to be paranoid about how close I get to things that are even vaguely pornish at this point, so thanks to PROMOTIONS, those boards are currently right out.
>> No. 149994
Actually, it was probably that idiot that requested porn on /blue/, uncensored. So you know, stay away from there too.
>> No. 149997
>>149979
>That, or all those anons who voted for pastry smut in City Quest screwed the pooch. I'm not sure.

Hah, unlikely. Every board has at least one of those scenes (H-scene, not...pastry smut), though they might have fallen off the first page.

Besides, considering how you can post NSFW pictures pratically anywhere, as long as you use the NSFW tag, I'd say this is probably the main reason.

>(For the record, I voted against it, and City Quest is Kahi, and Kahi is awesome, and you should all at least go read Patchy Quest. Also if any of you hippies start a habit of shitposting on his threads as some sort of misguided revenge for maybe possibly disabling me for less than a month, I will turn this car around.)

Your opposition to the act is noted. FOrtunatly, the "Yes!" crowd won, which is most probably the reason why a bodied Shangai was born. Not to assume anything here, of course, but it it very, very suspect, no?

Also, no mention to Doll's Quest? I'm disappointed.
>> No. 150720
The ship seems to be using different webhosting now that we're near the USA again, meaning I'm out from behind the "LOLPORN" wall. Recommencan writan nao.
>> No. 150732
>>150720
oh god yes
>> No. 150741
"You okay there? Looks like a bit of a heavy load."

The beleaguered equipment guy raises his head. "Ehh, can't complain. Complaining is at least a ten-credit insubordination charge. Besides, I'm used to this."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah. I'm definitely
not having any issues hauling the experimental gear for all four of those other 'Shooters."

"Then I'm guessing I definitely
shouldn't lighten the load for you at all?"

He sighs. "Grenades are on the left grab-belt. Make sure you open the snaps right, I don't want the pins getting yanked out when you try to take some."

"You're a lifesaver."

"Whatever."





Well, you may have encountered an actual dream over the course of your last few hours of napping, but it was just a snippet of memory, not one of the horrible surreal ones you had been having since moving into RED dorms. Those dreams were just... ugh. They were worse than that one time someone slipped you two opposite-functioning pills at once. Getting your stomach pumped by a docbot with a bad sense of humor is not an experience you want to repeat, especially not simultaneously with being injected with multiple stabilizing meds that do nothing to help the terrifying hallucinations.

Now that you think of it, that incident was right around when you first started getting tired out at high speeds. And countering that mystery exhaustion with frequent extra doses of Xanitrick.

A quick inspection of your pill caddy indicates that you have some twenty tabs of the lovely little wakeys. Enough to bull through bouts of exhaustion for some ten days or so, probably. You briefly give a mental thank-you to whoever decided to build these types of canteens with so many sealing gaskets; if the water from that... river was the word, right?... had gotten into the little compartment, it probably would have ruined all of them.

You sure have spent a lot of time at least partially submerged in the last few days, between the Waterfall Event and those nice, soothing soaks in that hot spring.

Anyways. Morning.

Washed up before bed, no need for more. Jumpsuit on. Go to kitchen. Open fridge. Pull out stuff for bre-

TAIYAKI.

DIRTY COMMUNIST PASTRIES BEING WHERE YOU NEED ASSORTED RED-GRADE FOODS TO BE SO YOU CAN MAKE FRIED SOYLENT SANDWICHES.

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH.


Well, that just reinforces that a lot of your favorite foods from your early days working mass mess-halls won't really be things you can make anymore. You really do want one of those sandwiches, though. Mmm, the outer fried slices crunching between your jaws and getting a thin layer of grease all over your hands while the different filling layers dance across your tongue, full of flavors most cooks didn't even know you could get with just the lowest-clearance algae products...

The memory alone seems to wake you up the rest of the way, bringing a sorely missed coherence to your thoughts. But you're still hungry.

Taiyaki.

Pastries they may be, but that paste in the middle makes them decent for staving off hunger. You could say the filling is...

Great, now you're making puns to yourself. They're almost as bad as treason, the way you see it.

The pastry flakes away under your teeth as you idly nibble at one of the little breadfish. Waking Reimu can probably wait for a minute, and-

"Hey, big sister strong-corpse! Where are you?"

You haven't heard that voice before. Who is that?

"Aaaargh. Why'n'cha. Why'n'cha."

Okay, that voice definitely sounds more familiar to you.

"Why'n'cha slow down when I asked yBLAAAAAAARF"

Yep, that's your equipment guy, all right. And from the sound of it, he just bought himself into pushing a mop.

"Yeesh, I can't believe how weak you humans' stomachs are. You puke from going fast on bumpy paths, you puke from being near a corpse or twelve... is there anything you don't puke from?"

"You're seriously gonnaHUUUUUUUURK"

Hoo boy.

Judging by the volume and direction of those rather unpleasant sounds, Royce-R-DLG and the mystery girl-type local are still outside the shrine.

==========
[]Go wake up Reimu. She'll probably be needed for dealing with Miss Loudmouth out there.
[]Go out there and try talking to them yourself. You already know Royce-R, so that's one foot in the door.
[]Ahh, just keep eating. They'll probably wake the miko up themselves, as loud as they are.
==========
After a brief turbo-writing session, CFTG has returned to satisfy your need for mediocre uncomedies! Good thing I'm not on another board; they probably wouldn't be terribly happy with my low low quality.
>> No. 150744
[x] Go wake up Reimu. She'll probably be needed for dealing with Miss Loudmouth out there.
>> No. 150745
[x]Go out there and try talking to them yourself. You already know Royce-R, so that's one foot in the door.

Never overestimate fanfiction fans' sense of humor. I have seen people fawn over the lamest shit... you're fine.
>> No. 150766
[x]Go out there and try talking to them yourself. You already know Royce-R, so that's one foot in the door.
>> No. 150779
[x]Go out there and try talking to them yourself. You already know Royce-R, so that's one foot in the door.

>CFTG has returned to satisfy your need for mediocre uncomedies this Reimu! This Reimu. This Reimu. This Reimu. This Reimu.

I'm glad this is starting back up, between that and (I assume) finals all my favorite stories have been drying up.
>> No. 150780
[X]Go wake up Reimu. She'll probably be needed for dealing with Miss Loudmouth out there.
>> No. 150808
[X]Go wake up Reimu. She'll probably be needed for dealing with Miss Loudmouth out there.
>> No. 150876
[x]Go out there and try talking to them yourself. You already know Royce-R, so that's one foot in the door.
[x]He's probably got a lot of questions. Answer any, this new 'helping out' thing Reimu told you about could be worth it.
>> No. 150883
Could we get an aside as to Handlebars and Boob Monster's reactions when they heard about Tyler's hormone suppressants? I kind of want to see how Yukari takes the news, since she wigged out on him denying her before.
>> No. 150885
[X]Ensure you are only wearing Red and Black before you let him see you. No reason to risk him attempting to kill you for treason.
[X]Go wake up Reimu.
>> No. 150930
>>150883

Sorry, but since those two were only listening in via spy-gap and not actually in the springs at the time, it falls outside of what you could see/hear for yourself.

Incidentally, I'll be closing votes next time I view the thread while there isn't a tie. And then starting the new thread myself, since I can get off the ship again.
>> No. 151032
>>150930

Gotcha.
>> No. 151038
[X]Go out there and try talking to them yourself. You already know Royce-R, so that's one foot in the door.

I also think Tyler should take a moment to make sure he's not wearing any overly treasonous colors.
...Well, maybe just something, just some little thing that could almost be considered treason if you're slightly colorblind. Let's be a bit adventurous, since we're so far from Alpha Complex anyway.
>> No. 151055
I'll see you all again when I have something ready to go.