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144343 No. 144343
"A-Aya....I'm bloody hurtin' an' I can't pull the trigger any mores!"

"I'm sorry Momiji, the nearest hospita' is around twenty miles away..."

"Yeh can't leave me here in this stinkins' hellhole!"

"You lost a quart of blood. The medic's traversin' around, just dun forget to breathe, Momiji."

"...Momiji?"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hehehe, just tamperin' with your socks. It's only ketch- blimey, that stings! N-not in the face, I won'ta do it again ma'am-sir-ma'am!"

"Lieutenant Aya? What are you doing holding the corporal like that with teary eyes?"

"Listen medic, the tear gas was really strong, and Corporal Inubashiri here is jus' playin' on'a slide.”

"Alright bu- AUGH, cockmongling hickory SPITTING fuck DAMN bitching SLITSHIT I'm FUCKEN' HIT!"

"I've gotten tallied by a mortar before, and I didn't run my bloomin' mouth like that. Calm down, yeh medic.”

"It's an American thing."

"...A what thing?"

"You know- that place with the stars and stripes. Doesn't take shit from any other country."

"...You lost me. What is a 'country' again, and how exactly does it invoke swearin' like a mad dog?"

"Then why do you have a European accent?"

"A what accent?"

"Okay, you're fucking with me right?"

“No, but the nearest hospita' is twenty fookin' miles away.”

“THAT'S NOT THE FUCKEN POINT, MAN!”

“Lieutenant, he's about'ta die like this if he keeps on flailin' his appendages.”

“Let the bloke do what he pleases. We isn't his mums.”

“YOU'RE CHANGING YOUR ACCENT. IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IRISH-BRITISH? WHAT A JOKeioajgjef.”

“...What happened, Lieutenant?”

“You see corporal, he refused to stop worrying about the trivial details.”

AND THATS WHY ANON SHOULD STOP NIT-PICKING STORIES INTO OBLIVION.

END.

>> No. 144344
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144344
>> No. 144345
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144345
>> No. 144346
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144346
Having a character change they way they speak part way through a story isn't really a nitpicking problem. It's a pretty serious flaw in writing.
>> No. 144347
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144347
go back to /blue/ garfield
>> No. 144348
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144348
Stories like this make me want to write.
>> No. 144358
...Am I supposed to be confused yet angered at the same time?
>> No. 144359
>Having a character change they way they speak part way through a story isn't really a nitpicking problem. It's a pretty serious flaw in writing.

Truth. Though given how CYOAs work, one I could forgive..they can only get so much editing as each peice has to be 'published' before the next can be 'finished'. Unlike a novel where good authors go back an' rewrite the whole thing.
>> No. 144360
>Having a character change they way they speak part way through a story isn't really a nitpicking problem. It's a pretty serious flaw in writing.

Truth. Though given how CYOAs work, one I could forgive..they can only get so much editing as each peice has to be 'published' before the next can be 'finished'. Unlike a novel where good authors go back an' rewrite the whole thing.
>> No. 144447
>>144360
You double posted and spelled piece wrong. I'm not mad, just wanted to point it out for you.