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136829 No. 136829
Since the other thread is four posts away from autosage, I figure I'll start a new one.

Regular update will soon follow this one.

[x]Kotohime: Recap.

“But I never get enough time as the main character! Aya gets all that! It’s not fair!”

It’s because she’s with the Investigator at the moment.

“See?! It’s not fair! I’ll find Aya and break her!”

If you’re that angry about it now, Ivan Drago, you really don’t want to know what’s going on with those two right now.

“What are you saying?”

Nothing. Look, I’m giving you time as the main character to recap the story because I write thousand-word walls of text and had like thirty updates in the last thread. Everyone will be grateful for you because then they won’t have to reread all those words and won’t feel lost because they’re too lazy to read the story up to this point.

“You’re just doing this because you want more readers.”

So sue me.

“Well, fine. If this works, it’s because they love me, and they know that the Investigator and I are the one true pairing.”

Whatever. Get recapping already. Jesus.

“Okay, okay. Let me skim the thread. First couple of posts are about the Investigator running from some Mafia thugs, stealing Johnny Two-Lips’ stuff, stealing a car, and hitting some guy named Two-Eye Tatum with the car, and then hitting a tree.”

Kotohime continues to skim the updates and read.

“Hey! I don’t need you narrating! Get out of here! I’m doing a good job!”

Jeez, try to help a dame…

“Apparently he didn’t actually hit a tree with the car. He hit a statue… and Akyu. Wait, you mean to tell me he’s the one who killed Akyu?!”

Yep. Ain’t it a bitch?

“But- but he didn’t mean to! He’s a good guy, really!”

You say that now.

“You shut up! He’s a good person! He then ran into Aya, that tengu whore… and then punched me in the face?! He told me Aya did that!”

Whoops.

“It must have been a mistake. He would have never meant to hit such a pretty girl as me.”

I’m sure you can believe that.

“So he’s read the paper that vaguely implicates Wriggle as the murderer… makes Aya help him in carrying me away… See? He does care! He felt bad about it!”

Only because people might have seen him hit a girl in broad daylight.

“You shut up! It’s because he cares about me! See, Aya scares him by taking him flying when he’s never been before! She doesn’t understand him like I do. At least he’s carrying me back to Aya’s place, and not her. And then it doesn’t update for a while.”

Yeah, I kind of ran out of ideas. Then I came upon the idea of the perspective switch. Really, that serves amazingly well as a storytelling device for me; makes updating so much easier.

“Then he’s there for me when I come to… such a perfect gentleman… and Aya apologizes to me for punching me in the face. You should always apologize when you wrong someone.”

Did you forget already that it was the Investigator who punched you?

“You shut up! And then we talk, and he asks me to help him find out who killed Akyu! Because he knows I’m smart, and beautiful, and important! And then I put on his hat. His hat’s so awesome! Where is it now, by the way?”

Well… we’ll get there.

“Okay… So, after that, we go and dye his hair green!”

Yeah, I was kind of wondering why you wanted to do that.

“Because he looks so cute with green hair~!”

Right.

“And we meet Reisen. We haven’t seen her since… but since we’re at Eientei, we’ll probably see her soon again, right?”

Hell if I know.

“Then we go out looking for clues at the bar… man, those clues really messed me up. I get a headache just thinking about that time. In any case, we discussed what we were gonna do. I think we decided on going and talking to Wriggle. Did we ever do that?”

…Kind of. We got derailed. The Investigator talked to Wriggle.

“And then Sakuya attacks the Investigator?! While I was sleeping!? She’s almost as bad as Aya! At least she’s not trying to get into his pants!”

Um.

“I found one of Sakuya’s knives though. Felt like it would be important in the future. And then there was an exciting fight sce- OH GOD HE JUST SHOT SAKUYA! But… it was in self defense, right? So he’s still a good guy!”

You mean he ‘probably’ shot Sakuya.

“What are you talking about?”

You’ll see later.

“Well, she dresses like a hooker. She got what she deserved, I think. In any case, I found some evidence, and found the Investigator! I was so happy to see him. I missed him. This is why we should sleep together. So things like this don’t happen.”

I can’t believe you said that without laughing.

“You shut up! It’s true! So then there’s a scene establishing Mystia, Rumia, and Wriggle, and nobody cares about them. But it was funny seeing Wriggle get kicked. I think I’ll read that part again. It was funny. So then the Investigator stumbles across Wriggle while he’s trying to get rid of a dead hooker’s body… and threatens her at knifepoint. …Well, he was in a rush! And not thinking straight! He’s still a good person!”

Dude, he threatened a kid with a knife.

“You shut up! So then we go through the forest looking for Wriggle’s place, but I don’t think we ever found it. We came across the misty lake, and Aya really wanted to beat up some fairies. She’s mentally imbalanced, I think. And then Daiyousei starts making fun of Aya. I like Daiyousei. So then there’s some talking, I didn’t really listen, so then we decided to go to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. And completely ignored Daiyousei. And forgot about going through Wriggle’s place. Which is convenient, because Wriggle went to the SDM. And then I got us into the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Because I’m so cute and Meiling likes me because everyone likes me.”

Yep. Guaranteed.

“See! I knew you’d come around eventually. Then we split up, I go to talk to Remilia and distract her while Aya and the Investigator sneak around looking for clues. And then… Oh hey, Sakuya’s not dead. Wait. I thought she got shot in the head. Is she dead or not?”

Ain’t telling.

“That’s not fair~~ In any case, while Aya’s searching through Sakuya’s room, she sets it on fire. Somehow. See, I told you she was mentally imbalanced! Remilia starts talking about her sexual preferences… that was really awkward. Like, really awkward. Squick.”

Hey, everyone has their preferences. And Remilia’s a vampire.

“Still weird. In any case, crazy-might-not-be-dead-but-might-be Sakuya starts… um… helping? Is that the right word? I’m not sure if she’s helping the Investigator or making things worse. She’s confusing.”

She’s fun to write, though.

“And I’m not?!”

I’m writing you right now, aren’t I?

“Yeah. You are. Remember that. In any case, while the mansion is burning, Aya’s looking for the Investigator. Probably just trying to indulge herself in her own selfish desires.”

I don’t remember you helping search for him.

“You shut up! I had to help Remilia because a burning beam of wood landed on her! And I really, really did not want to deal with Flandre.”

Nobody does, really. She’s so ronery.

“So the Investigator gets drunk, discusses strategy with Sakuya… she’s… helping? Again? I’m still not sure if that’s the right word. They discuss ‘breaking Gensokyo’ somehow. Like that’s gonna happen. He wants to leave for some reason… I’m sure he won’t leave without me though! So he starts thinking about how to keep Sakuya from messing with his head so much. He’s so smart. Meiling saves Remilia and me from the fire. She’s a good friend to have, really. Wriggle runs into Patchouli, who hasn’t bothered to notice the fire and is still reading… she creeps me out sometimes. So then Meiling and I go to Eientei to talk to Eirin to get Remilia healed, the Investigator and Aya go to Eientei to talk to Eirin about Akyu’s body for clues… together… tengu whore… Where was I? Oh, and Wriggle and Patchouli are talking about something that hasn’t been revealed yet. That sounds exciting and like a major plot point!”

What about Flandre?

“Yeah, she’s being Flandre like normal. And by that I mean batshit insano. I’m not sure what she wants.”

I don’t think any of us know.

“I don’t like her. She scares me. Yamame and Eirin are toking up, and making hotdogritos. Sounds yummy. Anyways, the Investigator and Aya wander around the mansion, and he goes to sleep. Aya better not try anything while he’s sleeping. Anyway, Meiling and I run into Mokou… HEY! What’s this about Mokou breaking all my bones!?”

Maybe you shouldn’t be so mean to her.

“Maybe she shouldn’t run a crappy yakitori stand! The only thing good about yakitori is that it’s made out of birds! Like Ay- heyyyyyyy. That gives me a good idea.”

Oh here comes the fun part.

“What are you talking about? Aya’s sleeping. With. The Investigator. WHAT.”

Keep reading.

“’The third button comes undone, and at this point you're able to open her blouse enough to get a good look at her bra.’ WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT KIND OF TERRIBLE STORY ARE YOU WRITING?! I QUIT!”

You can’t quit.

“Damned if I can’t! Aya’s using her tenguwhore skills to seduce my poor Investigator!”

He’s got a good reason.

“He better! Oh… he was just trying to steal Aya’s journal. Okay then. And then there’s Sakuya… with more of her ‘help’. At least this time he shows her who’s boss. And three murders? There were only two! And they were accidents!”

And now for the fun part.

“Well, there’s Yamame, wandering out in the forest, talking about a unicorn named Steve. I like unicorns. And there’s the Investigator too. Hee hee, she thinks he’s a bunny. Why’d he call her Alice? OH GOD HE JUST STABBED HER IN THE NECK”

Told you. He’s not a nice person.

“YOU SHUT UP! HE’S A NICE PERSON! YOU’RE WRITING LIES!”

I think we’re done here.

“NO WE AREN’T! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY HE’S SUCH A MEAN PERSON WHEN HE’S NOT?! HE OBVIOUSLY LOVES ME! HE COULDN’T HURT A FLY! YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PERSON!”

Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is Compensation: Adequate, a Touhou Murder Mystery. And now we’re on thread number two.

“I’LL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE AND BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!”

>> No. 136832
Previous thread is here.

http://www.touhou-project.com/th/res/124133.html
>> No. 136840
I'm positive there's something wrong with talking to your own story.
>> No. 136847
>>136840
Better that than having the story talk to your readers.
>> No. 136848
File 130016363061.jpg - (85.21KB , 500x437 , why_so_serious_cat-12947.jpg ) [iqdb]
136848
>>136840
This story and the internet are SRS BZNS sir.

I thank you for reminding me of such. I WILL GET RIGHT TO BEING SERIOUS NOW
>> No. 136849
I care about Mystia, Rumia, and Wriggle ;_;

I'd ask you not to kill them, but I know the Investigator is too good a person to ever kill kids, so I won't.
>> No. 136878
A+++. I lol'd heartily reading that. You make every character so exceptionally -fun- to read.
>> No. 136988
File 130025237677.jpg - (71.49KB , 500x767 , Patchouli_Knowledge_367945.jpg ) [iqdb]
136988
>>136849
Even the Investigator's gotta have standards.

[X] Be Wriggle.
-- [X] Tell Patchouli what you saw.
-- [X] Ask how the library didn't burn down.

Something tells you that there is no way that any of this can end well. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“Patchouli… I don’t think that Sakuya will be coming back.”

“Oh? And what makes you so sure?”

“She’s dead.”

Patchouli raises an eyebrow at you. “Nice dramatic lead-in, but the timing’s off. I’m not sure if you were trying to play that for comedy or drama, but it didn’t work either way.”

“No, I’m serious! I came here to tell Remilia, but she was skeptical too! You’ve got to believe me!”

“If Remilia didn’t believe you, why would I?”

“Because I know what I saw!”

“And what, exactly, did you see?”

“I saw the Investigator carrying a dead body that looked exactly like Sakuya.”

“Looked exactly like.”

“Yeah. And then he threatened me at knifepoint to not say anything.”

“To which you immediately go around saying things.”

You’re starting to get frustrated with Patchouli. “Why are you being so flippant about it!? Your friend is dead!”

“I doubt it. Who in Gensokyo do you think could really take Sakuya in a fight? Hell, if she was losing, she could leave easy. I’m just not buying it.”

You know you’re going to regret saying this. But you’ve got to do something to convince Patchouli. “I could show you where he hid her body.”

“Oh? Now you sound like you have proof. Why didn’t you say that from the beginning?”

“Because… because I feel exposed out there. I had a nightmare last night that he came for me, and cut my head off while laughing maniacally.”

“You’ve got some serious issues there.”

“Patchouli, you’ve got to believe me!”

Patchouli sighs. “Are you going to make me leave the library and go with you?”

“…If you haven’t forgotten, the mansion burnt down.”

“But not the library.”

“How did you manage that?”

“Architectural planning. I had the walls reinforced and fireproofed. Though in retrospect, I probably should have had the same done to the doors, so I wouldn’t have to be dealing with you, and the roof, so I wouldn’t have to be dealing with all this damned sunlight.”

“Why?”

“You try living in the same house as Flandre without expecting some sort of structural damage. See how well that works out for you.”

That explains rather a lot. Speaking of… “Where is Flandre?”

“Don’t know.”

“Couldn’t you, you know, magically find out?”

“What am I? Your magical car key finder?”

“But it’s for Flandre!”

“I think it’s a good thing. Girl needs to get out and get some fresh air occasionally.”

You mutter under your breath. “Well isn’t the pot calling the kettle black now.”

“Do you want me to go with you or not?”

You hold your hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Yes, I want you to go with me!”

“Fine. Let’s go.” Patchouli closes her book, and tries to get up out of the beanbag chair. She struggles with it for a bit, and can’t seem to get purchase on the ground to stand up. She rolls out of the chair and falls face first on the ground. You stifle a giggle. “Laugh and I swear I’ll reduce you to dust.”

--

At the forest surrounding the Misty Lake…

“Slow… down… you’re going too fast…”

Really? Really? Come on. You’re only making a regular walking pace. “You’re kidding, right, Patchouli?”

“I’m sorry, Wriggle, I’ve been too busy making physics sit down and shut up to be in such perfect shape as you. So terribly sorry.”

“Well… I remember that he hid the body…”

[ ] In the lake.
[ ] In a shallow grave.
[ ] In a bear cave.
[ ] In a ditch.
[ ] In a tree.
[ ] Write-in. Over where?
>> No. 136993
[X] In a bear cave.

FULL OF DEAD BEARS!

No?

Well screw it, it's still a freaking bear cave.
>> No. 136996
[x] In the hat.

[x] In a shallow grave.
>> No. 136997
[x] In the lake.

Sakuya's sleeping with the corpses of countless Anons.
>> No. 136998
[X] In the lake.

Remember that this is a stereotypically hardboiled detective we're dealing with.
>> No. 137010
[X] In the lake.

This must be the first time we made a [O] Jump in the Lake choice for someone else.
>> No. 137011
[X] In the lake.
>> No. 137045
[X] In the lake.
>> No. 137159
File 130034111644.jpg - (9.37KB , 400x284 , misty_lake_resize.jpg ) [iqdb]
137159
[X] In the lake.

“In the lake! Yeah, I saw him wade into the lake carrying her body.”

“You know that lake has a certain… reputation.”

“What do you mean?”

“What day is today?”

“Um… Wednesday, I think.”

“You’re in luck, then. I can give you a hands-on demonstration.” She shoves her book at you. “Hold this.”

“What does that have to do with anything?!” You’re rather confused and flustered.

Patchouli doesn’t say anything, just steps into… no, ONTO the lake; it’s got the stillness of glass under her feet.

I want to do that… You take a tentative step towards the lake, when Patchouli shoots you a glare. “Wait. Not yet.”

The lake begins to glow luminescently. “Now step towards me.”

You step out into the lake, expecting to fall through the surface. But the water is like ice under your feet, yet not cold. It’s an odd sort of experience.

“Now come to me, and take my hand. Hold onto the book. Wouldn’t want to lose my page.”

You walk up to Patchouli, and take her hand.

“Now close your eyes. This will be a bit disorienting.”

You close your eyes.

--

God I can’t believe I just threatened a little girl.

You’re running through the forest, with psycho-knife hooker-bitch’s corpse slung across your shoulder. At least she’s not bleeding too much.

Throw her in the bear cave? No, that never works, and I fucking hate bears.

Rain is starting to filter through the trees, a low hiss of white noise.

Dig her a grave? A noble gesture, but the luxury of that much time eludes me.

A low rumble of distant thunder echoes through the trees.

In a ditch? She might have been a murderous hooker, but someone will find the body.

The grass swishes between your feet between the hiss of the rain and the gentle howl of the wind.

Shove her in a tree? Another perfect way to get the body found.

You burst through the forest and nearly fall into a lake.

But a deep enough lake…

The lake shimmers under the light of a waning gibbous moon, with merely a sliver of darkness disrupting its perfect sphere. The surface is smooth as glass… and strangely inviting.

Well, madam, it’s time you went for a swim.

Carefully, you make your way to the edge of the water, and step in. The mud squishes under your shoes, and ripples from your entry propagate across the entire lake, and cause a slight mist to rise.

Wading deeper into the water, your foot idly kicks a rock. As you step onto the rock, it crunches beneath your foot.

Wait, crunchy rocks?

You stop, and wait for the ripples from your motion to dissipate so you can see clearly under the water.

Those aren’t rocks… this lake is a…

--

“Open your eyes.”

You’re suspended in the luminescent waters of the Misty Lake, holding onto Patchouli’s hand. You’re surrounded by irregular pearlescent shapes as far as the eye can see.

“The Misty Lake isn’t just a lake. It’s a mausoleum.”

“Wh-“

Those aren’t irregular pearlescent shapes. Those are bones. Human bones.

“The lake has always had an odd pull to those not native to Gensokyo. So many have jumped into its waters and never returned. Luckily for me, it’s close enough to the Scarlet Devil Mansion to study it.”

“That’s… almost terrifying.”

“Yes. What I’ve come to believe is that the lake is a sentient, malevolent entity. And that’s why I am using this magic- if we’re unprotected in the lake, escape is nearly impossible. I’ve seen people jump in and never surface.”

“But… I watched the Investigator go in and come out!”

“Really.”

--

Those are bones!

Human bones. Lots of human bones. The thought should be horrifying. Something in your mind is screaming that it is horrifying. That something in your mind is also screaming for you to run away for your life. But unfortunately for it, that is not the part that controls your legs.

And besides, where better to hide a body than in with hundreds of other bodies?

A smile crosses your face.

Perfect. Nobody will notice another dead hooker.

You wade deeper into the lake, as the icy water slides up to your neck, icy fingers grasping at your throat.

Yesssssssss.

The water covers your head, and your hat stays floating on the surface.

Ye- wait. Wait. WAIT. This isn’t right. Sudden realization strikes when you think about what you’re doing, walking peacefully to your death. I’m leaving my hat behind! …or that.

You drop psycho-knife hooker-bitch’s body, and make a mad dash for the hat, up through the inky black waters of the Misty Lake.

Scrambling to free yourself from the lake that almost feels like it’s pulling you in, you rush for the shore and the safety it offers.

In a splashing mad panic, you manage to wash yourself ashore, panting heavily, and staring wide-eyed at the lake. What the fuck kind of place IS this?! The mist rises from the lake and obscures its mirror-like purity, and the moon from view.

--

“Even if she was here, we’d never be able to find her. She’d already be stripped to the bone and impossible to distinguish. There isn’t any proof anymore. If he dumped her body here, he’s pretty much just gotten away with the perfect crime.”

“No way. No way! I can’t believe it!”

“And you’re assuming too much. He couldn’t have killed Sakuya. I told you this already.”

“You can’t be serious! You can’t tell me you’re not going to do anything about it!”

“I will not act against an innocent man.”

“You’ll condemn the real innocents to death!”

“You’re the one who’s going off without any sort of proof. Are you going to try and stop a person who might be doing nothing?”

You stop in silence for a moment. Then, quietly, “Let me out of here.”

“What?”

“Obviously you’re not listening to me, Patchouli. So I’m not going to argue with me. Let me out of the lake. I’ll find you your proof.”

“Fine. Where will you go?”

--

[x]Be Wriggle.

--[ ] Back to the mansion with you.
--[ ] The Human Village.
--[ ] To see Hatate.
--[ ] Eientei.
--[ ] I… don’t know. (Write-in)
>> No. 137163
[x]Be Wriggle.
- [X] To the Human Village

If no one at the Scarlet Devil Mansion will believe us, then we will take our story to the village.
>> No. 137173
[x]Be Wriggle.
--[x] To see Hatate.

Things Aya hates
1. Kotohime
2. Fairies
3. Hatate

We must do our best to include as much of all three as possible.
>> No. 137179
[X]Write-in
--Hunt down Investigator and make him confess
----Fail miserably, get butchered horribly.

Fuck Wriggle.
>> No. 137183
An anon
>>137134
asked for an explanation of the choices earlier, and since the fork has been passed, I'm totally fine with explaining it. Since the other thread's in autosage, I'm going to crosspost it here.

>>137182

High Fever was a write-in, so I hadn't planned it. But:

[ ] Hippocrates (Eirin)
[ ] Hippopotamus (Keine)
[ ] Hippocampus (Nitori)
[ ] Hypothermia (Cirno)
[ ] Hat (Marisa)
[ ] Hippity-hop (Tewi)
[ ] High seas (Murasa)
[ ] Hyper and creepy (Koishi)
[ ] Hyper and creepier (Nue)
[ ] Hold the strings (Alice)
[ ] Hold the mustard (Mystia)
[ ] Hatefulness (Parsee)

Each of those choices would have led to the eventual death of the selected character. But it would have played out differently.
>> No. 137232
> Hypothermia (Cirno)

Well that would have come back and bit us in the ass.
>> No. 137304
[x]Be Wriggle.
--[x] To see Hatate.
>> No. 137425
[x]Be Wriggle.
--[x] To see Hatate.

Well, they've already dragged the lake, so to speak. But the real question is: Was Aya filing her nails at the same time?
>> No. 137431
>>137179
What, you don't like Wriggle? I could brutally murder her and find another foil for the investigator...

That might be fun to write.
>> No. 137434
>>137431
I don't like Kotohime. Can you brutally murder her too?
>> No. 137438
>>137163

[x]Be Wriggle.
- [X] To the Human Village

If only there was somebody who knew everything.

>>137434

You think you have to ASK? Are we reading the same story?
>> No. 137439
>>137438
He might speed it up~
>> No. 137456
File 130052156840.jpg - (482.92KB , 1060x800 , 5b5570961d325908a90f1e620b395768.jpg ) [iqdb]
137456
[X] Be Meiling.
-- [X] Let Kotohime rile up Mokou. It’ll be funny when Mokou snaps and breaks a few of Kotohime’s bones. THEN ask for directions to Eirin.
---- [X] Tell Mokou why if she asks. Let on that Remilia's contemplated capturing an immortal to provide a permanent source of blood, lesbian rape, torture and dismemberment that can be used over and over again... and Kaguya could be that person.

[X] Be Kotohime.
-- [X] Continue to mock Mokou’s yakitori. Yakitori is made of moon bunnies who wandered too far from Eientei... and knew too much.
-- [X] Remember that Mokou once threatened to barbecue Aya after Mokou was involved in a mysterious forest fire and Aya pried too much. Suddenly and inexplicably gain intense desire to learn recipe.

I... um... am not entirely sure I can fit everything in these votes in. Worth a shot, though.



“That yakitori is nothing but the best ingredients, slow-roasted to perfection!”

“It still tastes terrible! You use way too much spice on it!”

Mokou seems to be getting rather angry. Kotohime doesn't seem to notice that she's about to cross a line, and it will probably be rather painful for her.

Honestly, this is the most I've seen Mokou talk to anybody in a while.

You decide that the best course of action is just to wait for Mokou to knock out Kotohime. She'll finally shut up, and it's not like Eirin can't heal a couple of broken bones.

“It's made of birds from this forest! Birds that complained about the taste!”

“That doesn't even make any sense!”

“Goddamnit Kotohime, I'm trying to threaten you obliquely and you're still not getting it! I swear to God if you keep making cracks about the yakitori I will break your arm!”

“I'd like to see you try.”

See that line? That line right there? The one that Kotohime just jumped over in one leap? Yeah. That one.

Mokou's had enough, and she launches herself in a flying punch at Kotohime, who doesn't appear to be doing anything about it. Bird-brain. Oh god that was a terrible pun. At least nobody heard it.

As Mokou's fist closes with Kotohime's face, Kotohime grabs Mokou's wrist and forearm, and starts to fall backwards, using Mokou's momentum. Mokou sails past and above Kotohime, and starts to flip over. Kotohime lets go of Mokou's arm, having redirected her where she wants, and as Mokou starts to land flat on her back, Kotohime extends her arms behind her to catch herself as she falls, and use them as a springboard. Mokou lands with a THUD, and Kotohime soon follows with a handspring onto Mokou's chest. Kotohime's now sitting on top of a frustrated and angry Mokou.

“I'm telling you. Mystia's lamprey is delicious. Probably because she's not trying to hide the fact that she cooks bunnies for it under massive amounts of spices.”

It's like she wasn't even paying attention when she did that. That was... unexpected for Kotohime.

“She wouldn't even know good spices if they came and bit her on the ass!”

I should probably say something before Mokou does something stupid.

“Hey, Kotohime, do me a favor, and get off Mokou, would you?”

She looks down and seems mildly surprised. “Oh! When did this happen?”

Mokou just glares at her.

“Okay then!~”

Kotohime hops off of Mokou, and Mokou scrambles to her feet, ready to take what Kotohime will throw at her... and Kotohime is paying her absolutely no attention. Suddenly Kotohime spins around and points her finger at Mokou. “You said that yakitori was made of birds, right?!”

“...Yeah.” Mokou spits the word like venom.

Kotohime smiles and rubs her hands together. “I think I'll need you to tell me how to make yakitori sometime.” She then starts to laugh evilly. “And then she'll be out of the way. Ha. Ha ha. Mua ha ha ha ha h-”

Kotohime's mad laughter dies away as she crumples in a heap, from Mokou clocking her in the head with a thick tree branch.

“...You knocked her out, Mokou.”

“Probably. I'm going to make sure.”

Mokou smacks Kotohime while she's down with the thick branch a couple of times. Kotohime is obviously out, because she doesn't move or whimper.

“Yep. She's out.”

Mokou smacks her again.

“You done yet?”

“...Yeah.”

“Good. Because you're carrying her now.”

“Why?”

“Because you probably broke a couple of her bones.”

“So?”

“So she needs to be taken to Eirin.”

“...Goddamnit.”

Mokou roughly picks up Kotohime and slings her across her shoulder.

“Who are you carrying, anyways?”

“Remilia.”

Mokou laughs. “How the mighty have fallen.”

“How far away are we?”

“Should be there this evening.”

“Lead the way then, Mokou.”



You lead Meiling to Eientei, and the sun is starting to set.

“I don't know how you managed to miss Eientei, Meiling, you must have passed it if you came from the Scarlet Devil Mansion.”

“...I don't have the best sense of direction.”

“I'll say. Anyways, Eirin's probably screwing around with Yamame. She spends way too much time taking her own medicines.”

Mokou opens a door, and Yamame and Eirin are sitting around a hookah.

Yamame waves happily to you, and you shake your head at her. I really don't want to deal with her shit.

“Eirin. Where do you want these two?”

“More people hurt? Put them in the bedroom next door, I'll take a look at them.”

You walk into the bedroom, and dump Kotohime like a sack of bricks. She's still out. Meiling gently sets down Remilia and unwraps her.

Those are some serious burns. I wonder what happened.

Eirin walks in, and looks at Kotohime.

“She's only knocked out, with a few cracked ribs. She should be fine by the morning, I'll give her something to help her sleep and mend those bones. Remilia...” She looks at the vampire covered in burns. “She'll be a bit more difficult. I'll have to prepare a lot of salve for those burns. And we'll have to find her a darker room. And I'll probably have to do some blood infusions. What happened to her?”

Meiling starts, “It's a long story...” as you walk out, past Yamame, and to the exit.

Yamame says, “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Well... it was nice seeing you today, Mokou!” She smiles at you.

“Sure.” You give a dismissive wave of your hand as you walk off.



Well, that's the actions of the night taken. Really, there's only one question for tomorrow morning. Who's it gonna be?

[ ] The Investigator
[ ] Kotohime
[ ] Aya
[ ] Meiling
[ ] Eirin
[ ] Kaguya
[ ] Mokou
[ ] Write-in. Tewi? Reisen? Take your pick.
>> No. 137467
[x] Tewi

... You're going to kill them, aren't you? Fuck it, at least I'll get a Tewi PoV out of it.
>> No. 137468
>>137467
I think I was too vague on my voting preface.

It's less "who dies next" and more "who finds Yamame's body." And yeah, it would probably lead to a Tewi PoV if she's the one voted for.
>> No. 137469
>>137468
I notice you said "less" instead of "not." I'm on to you.

The voting would probably be more amusing if you let us stew on stuff like that instead of clarifying immediately, by the way.
>> No. 137474
>>137469
Whoever finds the body might find some inconvenient clues, as well...
"Finding the body" puts them on the hit list, the priority depends on their intelligence.
>> No. 137487
>>137469
Do ho ho ho ho ho. You think I'm clarifying.
>> No. 137488
>>137487
Or outright lying. That works too.
>>137474
Why no vote, comment guy?
>> No. 137512
[x] Tewi

God damn rabbit bitch ruining everything. She'd make a good trophy over any fireplace.
>> No. 137542
[X] Tewi
Sounds good to me.

>>137488
Had very little time, so I was kinda stressed out. And I was speedreading three different threads at the same time. Decided not to vote anywhere because I would probably get them mixed up, or something.
>> No. 137547
File 130056314499.png - (1.37MB , 1181x1748 , a577b855647c3ec6aae315dd6bd2c054.png ) [iqdb]
137547
>>137456
>I... um... am not entirely sure I can fit everything in these votes in.

Sometimes you simply can't get everything you want to show + votes shown into the story without a prohibitively long update. Just file away salient bits and spring them in a later update, when it feels 'right.'

Or to maximize the horror and bloodshed. That, too.
>> No. 137733
File 130068913653.jpg - (128.40KB , 800x1024 , 33c3ce1a1bd939a77d5440746b48b9ffa5ab7edf.jpg ) [iqdb]
137733
[x] Tewi (you poor, misled bastards)

--

“Hey! Wake up!”

“Don’ wanna. Go ‘way.”

“You need to wake up right now!”

“Go ‘way. Head hurts. Go bother Kaguya.”

“It’s important, and I don’t know where Kaguya is!”

“Fffff… no. Go ‘way.”

Suddenly, the blankets are roughly pulled from you, and a bright lance of light pierces straight through
your skull. At least that’s what it feels like.

“You’re a doctor! You can fix your headache later! This is important NOW!

Tewi is standing above you, holding your blanket, and looking at you with a mixture of anger and
trepidation.

“I swear, Tewi, this better be good.”

“It’s pretty much horribly bad.”

--

Tewi leads you out to where Yamame is. You squint at Yamame crumpled in a heap out in the forest.

“So what? She fell asleep out here after last night. Now let go of me. I want to sleep.”

Tewi shakes her head, and drags you closer.

Oh. That’s a knife. In her neck. You realize that the black stain around her isn’t just mud. Rather,
dried blood. Wonder who did that.

“Wait, hold on a sec…”

Click.

“Aw, shit, Yamame’s dead. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.”

“I told you it was important, Eirin!”

Yeah, yeah I guess that counts as important.

“So what do we do?”

Tewi is looking up at you with those big, dark eyes, a trembling lower lip, and even those white rabbit
ears are flopped down and sad.

“Well… this could be a murder. So we shouldn’t touch anything. You didn’t touch anything, did you?”

“No, I came straight to get you!”

“Okay. Well, we’re going to need to talk to the police. Lucky for us, the police are already here. Her
bones should be finished healing. Go wake up Kotohime and tell her what happened.”

“Okay!” So distracted, Tewi dashes back into the mansion to go and retrieve Kotohime.

God, I want something to distract me. I'm not a damned coroner! ...Where's Mokou? I could use a smoke.



Something's tickling your face. You swat at it to get it off.

“Hey! Stop that!”

Then stop tickling my face!

“Kotohime, I need you to see something!”

You need to get off my stomach and let me sleep. I was having a good dream! I want to go back~

“You have to get up now!”

Fine, if it'll shut you up.

You open your eyes and the face of a verge-of-tears Tewi is inches away from yours, with her ears flopping down just above your eyes.

Oh, cheer up, it can't be all bad~

“You've got to come with me right now, Kotohime!”

“Calm down, it can't be that bad.” You decide that Tewi is being entirely too sad for this early in the morning, and decide to lighten the mood with some humor. “It's not like anyone died.”

Tewi breaks down bawling.

Okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to say.



The morning light streams through the paper walls of Eientei, illuminating the dust and pollen hanging in the air. A shaft of light from a slightly opened window spills on your face.

You open your eyes, and the Investigator is sleeping on the pile of pillows right next to you. Your sleeping habits led to you sleeping right on top of his chest, with your legs entwined with his.

Man, he must have been really tired to sleep through that. But that kind of does explain the odd dreams I had last night.

You rack your brain to try and remember what they were, but they're already slipping your mind like grains of sand in a sieve.

Wish I had a camera for moments like that.[i]

The sound of someone crying filters through the morning calm.

[i]Aw, and here I was hoping to wait for him to wake up.


So what to do?

[x] Be Aya.
-[ ] Investigate the crying yourself.
-[ ] Wake the Investigator and go see about the crying.
-[ ] Stay here and ignore it.
-[ ] Write-in

(To those of you who will inevitably post the [x] Vivid Description of Dream... I have ideas. You'll regret me having ideas.)
>> No. 137737
Hooray. Pessimism wins again!

[x] Be Aya.
-[x] Investigate the crying yourself.

Aya does have a normal camera right? Just not a dream camera? Or something? She should take some pictures of the Investigator sleeping. In case she ever needs pictures of the Investigator sleeping for something.
>> No. 137742
>>137737
Of course she has a normal camera. What self-respecting investigative reporter doesn't have one? Shit, it's even a very nice digital camera with video recording capabilities.
>> No. 137746
[X] Investigate the crying yourself.

[x] Vivid Description of Dream

The news waits for no man, so Aya can't either.

I wasn't going to say anything about the dreams but you, sir, have challenged us all.
I doubt you can make me regret it, so bring it on!
>> No. 137749
>>137742
Fuck yeah. Better make this ~official~.

[x] Take pictures of the Investigator sleeping. Take pictures of everything.
>> No. 137752
>>137746 here
Add >>137749 to my vote.
>> No. 137753
[x] Realize the journal is missing. Steal the Investigator's hat and go through his pockets.
>> No. 137762
[X] Vivid Description of Dream

If you warn against Anon to not vote for something, he will do it just to annoy you. So DO IT FAGGOT!
>> No. 137776
>>137762
It's not a warning. It's a promise.

(It's also not a vote option. I'm already going to do it. Voting is just redundant.)
>> No. 137786
[x] Be Aya.
-[x] Investigate the crying yourself.

Crying wolves are easier to eat than crying insane people.

I can't decide if the rabbits are tasty.
>> No. 137858
>>137776
>It's also not a vote option. I'm already going to do it.

THERE IS NO ESCAPING OUR FATE
>> No. 137927
[x] Take pictures of the Investigator sleeping. Take pictures of everything.
[X] Investigate the crying yourself.
>> No. 138023
File 130078895076.jpg - (216.41KB , 850x1131 , izayoi_sakuya_touhou2.jpg ) [iqdb]
138023
[x] Take pictures of the Investigator sleeping. Take pictures of everything.
[x] Investigate the crying yourself.
[x] Realize the journal is missing. Steal the Investigator's hat and go through his pockets.

Eh, you'll wake him later. He's had a rough couple of days.

Probably should go see about that crying. Where there's crying, there's news.

So decided, you unwrap yourself from the Investigator, and get up to stretch, wings fluttering out behind you. Morning stretches complete, you pick up your hat off your head and shake your camera out of it.

Well... Never know when he might be newsworthy or famous. It might be helpful to get a few pictures of him sleeping.

You snap a few pictures of the Investigator lying on the pile of pillows, sleeping the sleep of the just. Or the really tired. Whatever. His job probably doesn't allow for much time laying around doing nothing. Heaven knows that Kotohime keeps busy, what with trying to bring Marisa in for justice all the time. You imagine the Investigator collaring criminals in his own way, firm but fair, cracking sarcastic remarks all the time.

He wouldn't be too bad a subject for a novel. Characterization would take a little work. Eh, I'm not cut out to be a fiction writer anyways. I'll stick to dealing with the facts.

Speaking of facts, there are some to be collected. You had almost forgotten about the crying. You reach into your blouse for your notepa-

It's not here.

Where could it have gone? It's not like it's particularly insecure there... Someone must have taken it. While you were sleeping?

...That would explain the dream.

The obvious suspect is before you. I hope for his sake he doesn't have it.

You quickly pat him down with the expertise of those who have looked for things from an unconscious body many times before, starting at the feet and going up.

Man, his coat's got a lot of pockets on the inside.

You stick your hand in each in turn, coming up with a flask of rum (half-empty), a pack of cigarettes (three left), a lighter... and a notebook. It's not yours... but it could be interesting to give it a run through.

Flipping it open, you give it a quick skim.

Interesting. He has been doing some investigative deduction on this case. I think I'll read this and get it back to him later. I'm sure he won't miss it.

You pocket the notebook, and stand up. He didn't have your notebook on him, which is kind of odd. Because then you have to wonder who was doing those things to you.

Curiouser and curiouser. I wonder who wanted to feel me up badly enough to find my journal's hiding spot?

In any case, news is being made, and you've dawdled enough. Time to go. Silently, you pad across the tatami mats and slide the door open to the rest of the mansion.

Wait. Forgot one thing.

You tiptoe over to the Investigator, and pluck his hat off of his head, remove your hat, and settle it on your own head at a rakish tilt.

Now I'm good to go.



The source of the crying is Tewi Inaba, into the embrace of a concerned-looking Eirin.

Interesting. Very interesting.

Deciding to stay hidden for the moment, you snap a few pictures of the two.

Now what could Tewi be crying about?

You scan the room that Tewi and Eirin are in, and see nothing.

Outside, maybe?

You step outside to the edge of the Bamboo Forest, and see Kotohime crouched over something.

I wonder what she's doing here?

Kotohime is placing some things in plastic bags, and placing numbers next to the heap of something on the ground.

Gotta get closer. Telephoto lens'd just shake, and I forgot my tripod.

You creep towards Kotohime, trying not to give away your presence... and you get a look at the heap. A wave of repulsion sweeps over you.

That's Yamame. In a pool of blood.

Kotohime straightens up, turns to you, and says, “Aya. I actually need you for a moment. Come here and take some pictures.”

Shit, I must have said something when I saw Yamame.

“What happened?”

“Come here and look for yourself. Tell me what you think happened.”

You walk over next to Kotohime, and look at the body. “Well... That's Yamame, and she's dead. Someone stuck a knife in their neck, and by the looks of it, they did it professionally. Knife straight to the spine, not an ear-to-ear slitting of the throat. Quieter and quicker that way.”

“Right. How did you know the difference of that, by the way?”

“I... um... well... I read some of the stories Rinnosuke has in his shops, you know, when I'm bored...”

Kotohime lets out a long sigh. “Alright. And what does this tell you?”

“Umm... I don't know?”

“It tells you that she didn't kill herself. Well, she could have, but how many people can actually manage to drive a knife straight through their own spinal cord in the neck? Secondly, it tells you that she was killed by someone skilled in the art of knives, which, incidentally, now that category includes you.”

“Me? But I-”

“I do have a suspect, and it isn't you. This jogged my memory. That knife look familiar?”

“No...”

Kotohime pulls out a plastic evidence bag with the knife that was buried in the wall of the tavern where you, Kotohime, and the Investigator slept.

“Does this one?”

“Kind of...”

“How about that one again?”

“They're the same...”

“Right. And do you know who uses these particular knives, and has been missing for the past two days?”

“Sakuya?”

“The very one.”

Kotohime puts away the evidence bag with the knife, and falls to her knees. “I didn't want to deal with this when I became Gensokyo's police officer. I really didn't.” Her shoulders rack with a sob. “I don't want to believe Sakuya did it. There's no way.”

Oh, no.

You kneel down to comfort the crying Kotohime.

“It's... just not right, you know? I'm sorry I've been such a terrible person to you, Aya, I don't want anyone else to get killed, not you, not anyone. I'm sorry...”

Kotohime cries into your embrace.

“It's okay, Kotohime, it'll be all right...”

Kotohime sniffles. “At least I don't have to face this alone... You've got his hat. I know he's here. Go get him. Please? He probably knows what to do better than I do... Please?”

You softly stroke the back of Kotohime's head. “Okay. I'll go get him.”



A leather-booted foot nudges you in the head. “Wakey wakey, Mr. Investigator.”

Ugh. Really?

You open your eyes to see Sakuya standing above you.

“Well, Sakuya, it's a nice new look for you, and I like the tie, but you've really got to do something about the frilly head-thing.”

“The 'frilly head-thing' stays.” She sits down next to you. “I've got the translated notebook for you.” She tosses it to you. You catch it, and slide it into an inside pocket of your coat. Sitting upright across from Sakuya, you rub your head.

Goddamnit my hat's gone AGAIN! I swear I'm going to maim whoever did that!

You groan. Down to business. What do?

[x] Be the Investigator.
--[ ] Ask Sakuya some questions.
----[ ] Write-in.
--[ ] “Come on, we talked last night. What do you want now, Sakuya?”
--[ ] Ignore her. She's got all the time in the world to bother you, and now's not the time. You've got to make sure the shit with the dead blonde chick went down right.
--[ ] Write-in.
>> No. 138024
[X] Be the Investigator
--[X] Ignore her. She's got all the time in the world to bother you, and now's not the time. You've got to make sure the shit with the dead blonde chick went down right.

Nothing says a good morning like figuring out if our homicides are truly homicides.
>> No. 138025
[x] Ask where Sakuya is currently living.

Seriously, what the fuck is she doing? Sleeping in the woods? Really dead yet somehow maintaining a physical form? Wat?
>> No. 138030
[X] Ignore her. She's got all the time in the world to bother you, and now's not the time. You've got to make sure the shit with the dead blond chick went down right.

He needs to get involved in that investigation ASAP. Clearly these broads are too emotional to deal with a horrible murder like this. Being emotional leads to false conclusions, so he'd better take 100% complete control of this case.
Just so nobody gets wrongly accused or something.

>>138025
She'll probably just give us more of her cryptic "might just be a figment of your imagination", if we try to get a straight answer out of her.
Not worth it.
>> No. 138034
>>138030
We're trying not to get him caught? I thought the goal of this CYOA was getting that bastard killed.
>> No. 138035
>>138034
Speaking of that. There will, of course, be someone against him. And they will more than likely be controllable (to the extent any of the characters are.) But blatantly and obviously self-destructive actions will be dismissed out of hand. (Do feel free to be subtle, though.)
>> No. 138037
>>138034
>>138035
[X]Ignore Sakuya
--[X]Check gun for bullets
---[x]Swear bloody murder because all the bullets have been snapped up by someone, probably the same someone who stole your hat. No idea how they removed them without having shot the bullets out of the gun, though.

Hurrah for flash photography. I like being subtle sometimes
>> No. 138038
>>138035
I wasn't going to say, but I'm hoping Aya will stumble upon Sakuya if we can stall her enough.

Pretty sure one question isn't going to manage it, though.
>> No. 138039
>>138030

[X] Ignore Sakuya.
[X] Take complete control of the investigation. You're the only one who can cook the evidence be relied on as a neutral third party in all this, since you're not personally involved beyond having killed everyone so far.
>> No. 138237
File 130103611539.png - (99.26KB , 300x331 , Orin_KFCCorpseRemoval.png ) [iqdb]
138237
[X] Ignore Sakuya.
[X] Take complete control of the investigation. You're the only one who can cook the evidence be relied on as a neutral third party in all this, since you're not personally involved beyond having killed everyone so far.

--

Okay. Notebook. Good. New non-hooker outfit for Sakuya. Good. Two good things. Let’s see if this morning can get any better.

“Appreciate the notebook. But I’ve got things to do. We can talk later, right?”

“But it’s kind of important.”

“What’s important now is making sure that Yamame’s death turned out right.”

“Fine. We’ll talk later.”

Sakuya disappears.

I’ve really got to learn how to do that. Oh well. She’s gone. Three good things.

The sound of crying carries over the morning air, like a particularly sad song.

Four good things!

You stand up, adjust your tie, and jauntily walk towards the sound of crying.

--

As you’re walking through the mansion, Aya and Kotohime open the door in front of you.

“Oh. Morning.”

Kotohime looks at you, with big, watery eyes, and runs up to you, hugs you, and starts crying softly into your chest. You look at Aya with a quizzical look. Hey, that’s my hat!

Aya sighs. “You should come see this for yourself.”

“Aw, goddamnit.”

Five good things! Must not smile, must not smile, serious face, serious face.

You pick up and carry the sobbing Kotohime with you. Walking with her would take too much time.

--

Aya leads you out to a small clearing by the mansion. Specifically, the clearing that you stabbed Yamame in. Yamame’s still there, as you left her. You gently set Kotohime down.

“Has she been moved?”

Aya shakes her head. “No. Kotohime did check the knife for fingerprints though. Nothing.”

“Knife?”

“Yeah, the one in her neck. Go take a look.”

You walk over to Yamame’s body, and check. Yep, that was a clean stab. Right through the spinal cord. Useful skill, that.

“Yeah, a knife there would probably kill anyone instantly. Seen it a couple times when I’ve had to track down some murders. If it’s any consolation, it was probably entirely painless.”

“That’s good to hear.”

The hooker in the multicolored nurse’s outfit is standing behind you, and you turn to look at her. Her face is a mask of sadness and anger.

“You’re a private investigator, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. Reasonable rates and everything.”

“You investigate anything, right?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well then, Mr. Investigator, I would like to hire you to find who murdered Yamame.”

“You don’t need to. I’ll do it for free. I have a feeling this might be connected to the other murder in Gensokyo.”

“Akyu.”

“Yep. I came here to get a look at Akyu’s body, to see if there are any clues. Now I really need to get a look at it, see if it correlates to anything on Yamame.”

“That’s fine. I just want you to promise me one thing.”

“Sure.”

“When you find out who did this, bring them to me. I’d like to say hello to them. Personally.”

You reach up to tip your hat to the lady in affirmation. Of course, Aya’s wearing your hat. “Shouldn’t be a problem. I’d like to see justice done for this as well.”

You turn to Kotohime.

“Red, do we have any suspects?”

She sniffles, and wipes her eyes. “One main one. Those are Sakuya Izayoi’s knives, and she’s been missing the past few days.”

“Odd. We’ll have to look into that. Aya, did you take pictures of the crime scene here?”

Aya nods. “Yeah, I’ve got all the pictures we should need.”

“Good. I’d like to check Akyu’s body now, Miss…”

“Eirin. Eirin Yagokoro.”

“Miss Yagokoro, then.”

“Right this way.”

--

Eirin leads you into the walk-in freezer in Eientei, where she lays Akyu on top of a table. As should be obvious, most of her body’s crushed and destroyed from the impact of the car you were driving and the fact that she was between the car and a solid statue.

“Looks like massive blunt force trauma to me. It’s like she got nailed by a semi.”

“A semi?”

“Never mind. Figure of speech.”

“That’s what I thought too. But if it was just blunt force trauma, Mr. Investigator, she wouldn’t have bled out so much.”

“Really? There are a lot of open fractures here, and major arteries.”

“I’m a doctor, Mr. Investigator, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Well then, I defer to your expertise.”

“Right. Now, look up towards the neck.”

You lean over and examine her neck. Someone had slit her throat open with a wide ear-to-ear gash across the front of the throat. An amateur way to do it if you’ve ever seen one.

“That gash there looks like it was the actual cause of death. She was probably already dead by the time the blunt force trauma took place.”

Now that’s interesting. If she was already dead by the time I hit her…

“Odd. Why would anyone do it like that?”

Eirin shrugs. “I’m a doctor, not an investigator. In this case, I will defer to your expertise.”

Well, this introduces an entirely new wrinkle. If you didn’t murder her, who did? Because that is absolute bullshit. You could have gotten away with this scot-free. But no. You had to murder someone else to cover up your tracks. Which ended up not even being yours. That’s such bullshit. Goddamnit. Get one break, and all it does is have the universe ironically mock you. Bullshit.

“Miss Yagokoro, do you think you could take Miss Yamame’s body and place it in here as well? In case I need to come back here for some reason.”

“You don’t mind if the body’s moved?”

“Well, you can’t leave it out there. And apparently Red and I are the only investigative team in Gensokyo.”

“Right.”

--

After having left Eirin to take care of Yamame’s body, you confer with Aya and Kotohime.

“Okay. So, I’ve looked at Akyu’s body. The crushing isn’t actually what killed her.”

Aya cocks her head at you. “Really? What did, then?”

“She bled out. Someone slit her throat. From ear to ear, not with a stab through the spine like Yamame.”

“So…”

“So that means we’re probably dealing with two different murderers. Any ideas on who might have killed Akyu?”

Aya thinks for a moment. “I’ve got nothing off of the top of my head.”

“Sakuya’s our main suspect for Yamame, right?”

Kotohime nods. “Yeah. Remilia, her boss, is here in Eientei recovering from burns from when the Scarlet Devil Mansion burnt down.”

You shoot Aya a meaningful look. She turns a little red. “Well, that’s convenient. We should probably talk to her. Red, did you have any ideas in mind on who might have possibly killed Akyu?”

--

Who, indeed?
[ ] Write in. (Not Sakuya.)

And then what?
[ ] Go talk to Remilia.
[ ] Comb the site of Akyu’s death for clues.
[ ] Go interrogate suspects.
-- [ ] Who? (Write-in.)
-- [ ] About what?
[ ] Write-in action.
>> No. 138253
>Who, indeed?
[x]List of bladed weapon users
>Melee
>>Youmu Konpaku
>>Momiji Inubashiri
>>Elly
>>Komachi Onozuka
>>Alice Margatroid (via doll usage)
>>Keine Kamishirasawa (spellcard)
>>Cirno (Ice sword alt skillcard)
>>Youki Konpaku

>Ranged (Danmaku)
>>Yukari Yakumo (kunai)
>>Ran Yakumo (kunai)
>>Byakuren Hijiri (daggers)
>>Hong Meiling (kunai)
>>Kanako Yasaka (hunting knives?)

(List incomplete?)

[X] Go interrogate suspects.
-- [X] Those people who looked after the underage hooker. No way such a tiny girl managed to upkeep clothin' like that on her own.
-- [X] Why the heck was she out on her own and why wasn't anyone lookin' for her? WhoWhat did she do and who'd benefit from her death?
>> No. 138255
It's Sakuya and she is playing us to make us incriminate ourselves.

[x] Comb the site of Akyu’s death for clues.
>> No. 138266
Flandre escaped the basement and killed Akyu to sate her lust for blood.

[x] Go talk to Remilia.
>> No. 138268
>>138266

Meta-knowladge on Flandre because (a) Kotohime doesn't know about her and (b) Akyu would have ended up a bloody smear instead of a corpse.
>> No. 138293
File 130114369936.jpg - (425.56KB , 850x850 , 5c023941035a24e1300604819865fb7af3fe51c3.jpg ) [iqdb]
138293
Hang on a second, Up till now; we’ve been in the mind frame that Sakuya is dead right?

Well, from the recent occurrences it seems like she isn't.

Think about it.

Patchy said there’s no way that Sakuya would die so easy.

Her body wasn't present at the lake.

Akyu was already dead.

And she’s been talking to us ever since SDM.

Ever watch Toaru Majutsu no Index?

Remember how when Accelerator got shot by that doctor he managed to slow the bullet down enough so that it wouldn’t pierce his brain completely?

Sakuya’s most likely done the exact same thing and is currently fucking with us, though she may still be injured like accelerator was but not to a lesser extent, so that when we get to a point where we are about to solve the case or something, she shows up and fucking spills the beans, screwing us over.

[x] Comb the site of Akyu’s death for clues.

We need to see where she was walking from, she had most likely had her throat cut and was staggering towards her final moments, and that’s when we hit her.
>> No. 138297
>>138293
Do ho ho ho ho.

I like you.
>> No. 138298
>>138293

Stop giving him good ideas before he actually uses them! Don't you know the madness he's been doing so far is fine enough?

[x] Comb the site of Akyu’s death for clues.
>> No. 138336
>>138293
Also, If anything, the inspector still thinks Sakuya is in his head, so we need to get him to figure out she's alive. When we do, we need to keep it to ourselfs fooling her into thinking we are seeing her,until we get into a situation where we can shoot her in a secluded area, to confirm whether she's alive or not, But in order to do so we need to catch her off guard so she can't use timestop to get away and fool us into beliveing she isn't real.

It would be a good idea to do this, before Remilia recovers mind you.


On a side note, how many bullets do we have? if we run out, then we ain't gettign any more, unless rinnosuke has some in stock.

Seeing as we'll be in Gensokyo for a while may I suggest an ammunition making side quest? I wouldn't mind if the Inspector ran out of bullets and then had to go and make some, nut in order to do so, he has to try and perswuade Youmu to tell him where the ore deposits are for the metal she uses in her own blade.

Think about it, Soul piercing bullets.
No one would bother us even after deatg.
>> No. 138344
>>138336
As far as bullets go, due to the way his safe works, it's effectively "infinite", but only six on hand at any given time.

However, soul piercing bullets... ho ho ho ho ho.

I was wondering when someone would bring something like that up.
>> No. 138451
Updates are taking a bit longer because I want to make things more coherent and... make the mystery parts actually solvable before the reveal of solutions and suchlike. Please wait warmly while I map out plot holes.
>> No. 138454
>>138451
Hooray! In before you miss one and look silly!
>> No. 138463
>>138454
PLOT HOLES ARE AN EVIL PLOT OF THE MURDERLAKE AND SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED. SHOOT PLOT HOLES AS YOU SEE THEM.
>> No. 138531
File 130146316140.jpg - (18.30KB , 480x360 , 0.jpg ) [iqdb]
138531
[x] Comb the site of Akyu’s death for clues.
[X] Go interrogate suspects.
--

Three months. Three months in Gensokyo. You’re now Gensokyo’s number one Investigator. Probably by virtue of being the ONLY investigator. Sure, there are problem solvers, troubleshooters and… problem shooters? Trouble solvers? Whatever. If you were in their bracket, you probably wouldn’t be number one. Or three. Even seven would be pretty ambitious for you. But that’s why you’re an Investigator.

And it’s why you drink.

Along with Kotohime and Aya, you scoured the site of Akyu’s death for clues. Nothing. You put your shoe leather to work tracking down potential witnesses. And still nothing. The investigation dragged on, with no evidence or possible suspects. You interrogated many of them. Cirno. Alice. Youmu. Momiji. Meiling. The list goes on. But none of them spun anything but a compelling story. No holes to poke into them. No evidence to use to poke holes.

Someone murdered her, and you accidentally helped them get away with it scot-free. Nobody knew anything. And the one person who would know for sure, you couldn’t ask for help from. But we’ll get to her story later.

Getting away with murders scot-free, though, isn’t something you’re a stranger to. You were also tasked to investigate the murder of Yamame. An open-and-closed case. You’ve got the suspect. Yourself. You’ve got a motive. Diverting suspicion for Akyu’s murder to someone else, when you still believed you had killed her. Shit, you even know how it went down. A knife to the spinal cord in cold blood.

But that investigation was doomed to stall from the beginning. No way you could let that one be solved back to yourself.

So the trail went cold.

Finally, you were also contracted to seek out a missing person. Sakuya Izayoi. Crazy knife-hooker bitch. Another case that had no opportunities to go anywhere. Finished before it began. See, that dame, she wouldn’t be found unless she wanted to be found. You were the one looking for her. You were the one who knew where she was. But she couldn’t be found. Because she was the prime suspect for Yamame’s death. Because her knife did the deed.

But she knew what happened. Because you trusted a dame. This is how you get yourself into trouble, trusting dames. And she knows you can’t do anything about it. Because she’s in your head. Because she knows you all too well.

Where does she sleep? In your office. Where you sleep. Because you can’t afford to let her be found. And she damn well knows it. Most mornings you never see her, because she’s gone before you’re awake. Most nights you never see her, because you spend your nights at the bar. But when you wake up in the middle of the night, there she is. Sleeping. She doesn’t say much to you, after that one night. But you kind of deserved it, you guess.

Speaking of dames and cold trails. Aya. Sure, she works with you from time to time, comes over for conversation, trying to get you to spill the beans on your clients. But the trail’s cold on the murders, and on the exclusive she had been hoping to get. So you drifted apart. The unresolved sexual tension between the two of you? Never was there to begin with. Aya was just trying to use you to get at Kotohime. You never had anything for her from the start.

Kotohime. Gensokyo’s police. The fuzz. She’s been busy with a case. Duty calls, and all that. You try and give her what help you can, but the job’s changed her. She was an open, happy girl. Sure, there were petty crimes and the like in Gensokyo before you arrived, and she dealt with those in her airheaded, endearing way. Well, endearing to other people. But, like a saxophone that’s been dropped one time too many, the tune’s changed. Sure, she still talks to you a lot. Sure, she still thinks you’re the greatest thing to happen to Gensokyo. But it’s different. You can feel the strain the job puts on her. Eventually she’ll break, and that almost makes you sad to consider it.

Who’d have thought? That damned annoying dame making you regret what you’ve done? Not you.

At least two people have suspicions that it was your doing for making Sakuya disappear, and by extension making Akyu and Yamame corpses. They’re wrong on one, maybe two counts, but… you really don’t want to be giving Hatate and her “undisclosed source” the real story.

Wriggle Nightbug has taken it upon herself to watch you, to ask you questions, to put out her suspicions. Let me make this more clear: To make her suspicions public. To make sure that everyone knows that she’s attempting to solve these cases too, but with you as the main suspect. Sure, she doesn’t have much evidence. Sure, her writing in Hatate’s competing newspaper to the Bunbunmaru isn’t taken seriously at all. But if you were to make her disappear, that would be suspicious. So, much to your endless frustration, you haven’t been able to take action against her. It would end… badly.

Finally, three months.

Three months, three full moons. Three opportunities for Keine to solve the mysteries by simply observing the histories of them, right?

It would have been. The case Kotohime’s so busy with? Keine’s death. You’ve also been investigating it yourself because…

[ ] You killed her yourself, to prevent the history from coming to light.
[ ] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.

(Don't worry, I'm not glossing over details. All things in due time.)
>> No. 138534
[x] You killed her yourself, to prevent the history from coming to light.

Fucking Investigator.
>> No. 138540
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.
>> No. 138547
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.

I'd like to think that ivnestigator wouldn't just go around randomly killing people when he's already under suspicion; if someone else killed Keine, he could legit investigate to show people that he's trying.

How hard he's actually trying is irrelevant!
>> No. 138553
>>138547
Killing Keine would hardly be random: it's pretty much required if you're trying to hide a murder in Gensokyo, what with her "knowing everything bullshitpowers" at the full moon. In fact, this is less "who killed Keine" and more "who got to Keine first."
>> No. 138554
>>138547
I'd like to think that whoever originally killed Akyu is really a good girl who committed a crime of passion and not force her to kill again to cover her tracks.
>> No. 138555
[x] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.
>> No. 138557
>>138554
Sanae is a good girl?
>> No. 138559
File 130147538291.jpg - (28.36KB , 465x246 , what went wrong.jpg ) [iqdb]
138559
>>138557
Yes!
>> No. 138562
[x] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks
>> No. 138568
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.
You couldn't've killed Keine, she wasn't a hooker.
>> No. 138569
[x] You killed her yourself, to prevent the history from coming to light.
>> No. 138570
[X] You killed her yourself, to prevent the history from coming to light.

Unless she was killed in some freak accident, this is the only other way that can be possibly done.
>> No. 138578
Dead Keine, no more Aya, and undoubtedly more dead Touhous to come.
You lost me, man.
>> No. 138584
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.
>> No. 138591
>>138578
What, you seriously think I'm getting rid of Aya? You can't be serious.
>> No. 138632
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.

As much as I think the other option would fit his MO, I think that having more than one murderer out there -- and one whose identity is unknown to us -- is a lot better for the story.
>> No. 138658
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.

We already have 1.5 deaths (Sakuya we're still not to sure about, hence the .5) so we better not get our kill count up too high unless we know 100% that we can just kill everyone that gets too close without any sort of suspicion.
>> No. 138662
[x] You killed her yourself, to prevent the history from coming to light.
>> No. 138679
[x] You killed her yourself, to prevent the history from coming to light.
>> No. 138682
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.
>> No. 138702
>>138463
>PLOT HOLES ARE AN EVIL PLOT OF THE MURDERLAKE AND SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED. SHOOT PLOT HOLES AS YOU SEE THEM.

>Sure, there are problem solvers, troubleshooters and… problem shooters?

SolusLunes confirmed for chugging Bouncy Bubble Beverage... THE TASTE THAT'S MANDATORY!
>> No. 138703
File 130158699432.jpg - (1.18MB , 1615x1150 , 1301381571213.jpg ) [iqdb]
138703
[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.

This. The Investigator couldn't have murdered Keine in cold blood, because she's a human, not a hooker.

He would've had to arrange a tragic accident. It's not HIS fault if she doesn't check her brake lines every day.

>>138591

We are united in our perverse lust for Aya. Dem legs. Dat ass.
>> No. 138704
>>138703
My lust for Aya is pure as fresh fallen snow.
>> No. 138711
>>138704

After a volcanic eruption, perhaps.
>> No. 138725
>>138711
inb4 the lust is the volcanic eruption.
>> No. 138742
>>138725

Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more!
>> No. 138790
File 13016353937.gif - (220.04KB , 266x266 , ibuki.gif ) [iqdb]
138790
The Investigator not killing Keine? That's okay, I'm sure I can think of something worse.

[X] She was killed in the same way Akyu was- amateurish, and sloppy, in a mad rush to cover tracks.

Her hands slam down on the top of my desk.

“I know you did it! Who else could it have been?”

I glare at the girl standing across the desk, having thrown my chair for guests to the side in a rage. I lean back in my chair, and take another drag on the cigarette slowly burning in my mouth. Thank God for Mokou.

“Got any evidence, kid?”

“No, and you know it!”

“Then get out of my office, and stop bothering me.”

“I know it was you! You’ve got the motive!”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

“You killed Keine so you could get away with the murder of Sakuya!” Would that I could have murdered Sakuya, kid. Would that I could. “And probably to cover up your killings of Akyu and Yamame too!”

“You’re entirely right. It would be a good motive. If I killed any of those three. And besides, Sakuya’s only missing. She’s not dead.”

“She’s dead and you know it! I saw you carrying her body!”

“Got any pictures, kid?”

Wriggle crosses her arms and glares at me.

“You know I don’t. Otherwise I would have had Hatate publish them.”

“You ever think there might have been extenuating circumstances? Possibly self-defense?”

Wriggle only continues the glare. One might think that Yamame was her friend. Oh dear. I may have upset her.

“And if I DID kill all four of them, what makes you think that it’s a good idea to barge in here and threaten me? I’m pretty sure that Sakuya or Keine alone would give you a run for your money. And here you’re talking to a guy you’re accusing of killing them, AND getting rid of the evidence.” You take a deep breath. “But no. I didn’t kill them, I didn’t kill Keine either. Now get out before I throw you out.”

“Fine. But I’ll find something on you. I swear it.”

Wriggle leaves, and slams the door to your office. You had Nitori install a ceiling fan in your office, because the way it lazily cuts through the haze of smoke is conducive to you for thinking and problem solving.

And for once, you weren’t completely lying. You didn’t kill Keine. You would have, but someone got to her first. And you’d have done it completely differently anyways. Amateurs.

--

It’s a rainy night, just a few nights before the full moon. Time’s running out. You had counted on the person who killed Yamame to take this step, but they took their time.

I can’t wait any longer.

Your nerves are shot, and you’re scared. Akyu was a mistake, something you didn’t mean to have happen… she was a friend of yours. And now, knowing about what you’re going to do beforehand, makes it even harder.

I really don’t want to do this!

Unfortunately, you don’t have a choice. Yamame’s murderer apparently didn’t think it necessary to kill Keine. Thought they had some sort of protection against history, or something. Arrogant bitch. If she had just done the job properly, I wouldn’t have to-!

Calm down. Now I’m getting angry. I can’t afford that. Gotta be calm. Woosah. Wooooosah.

You finger the blade that you concealed, let out a sigh, and let your hand drop to your side. Your other hand reaches up to the door of Keine’s residence. At this time of night, normally she’s reading. Not quite asleep yet.

Knock knock.

--

Well, while it solves one problem by having Keine killed by someone else, it brings up other problems. Their murdering doesn’t allow you to frame someone, to make the evidence all point to one person. You’re not able to make the case open-and-shut, linking all the murders to one person. Inevitably, there will be discrepancies. Sure, you’ll be able to link Akyu and Keine’s murder to someone, with actual evidence, because they ACTUALLY DID IT, but there’ll be… discrepancies in the murder of Yamame and the “disappearance” of Sakuya. If you can get Sakuya to be considered entirely separate… you can possibly leave that one alone. No bodies, no evidence, no way for it to fall on you.

Except there’s Wriggle. She knows what you’d done with Sakuya. To some extent. She didn’t actually SEE you shoot her. And she doesn’t actually have any evidence. But she’s still a problem. She might be wrong in that she thinks you committed ALL of the murders in question, but she’s still right enough to make life hard for you.

You rub your fingers against your temples. You can’t take direct action against Wriggle. That’d make it too obvious that she was silenced, and then all the fingers would point directly at you. But if she’s not quiet, she’ll possibly unveil enough of the truth to hurt you.

Goddamn little bug-bitch.

--

Keine opens the door.

“Oh! Good evening! I didn’t expect any visitors.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Kamishirasawa. But I really needed to talk to you tonight.” You bow to her slightly.

“Well, I’m not doing much of anything tonight. Come on in.”

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Keine leads you in, and you both sit down at the small table in her main room. “I was making tea, but it’s not quite finished yet. What did you need?”

You open your mouth to start speaking. “I-“ At that moment, the teapot starts to whistle.

Keine stands up. “Water’s done, good. Give me a moment to make the tea, and then we can talk.”

She gets up and turns away from you, as she walks towards the tea kettle on her hot plate.

Now! Now while her back is turned! You will not get a better moment! NOW!

You bully your legs into motion, as you stand up silently and in a fluid motion draw your blade from its concealed location. Silently, you pad across the tatami mats, and come up behind Keine. You take your blade, and run it across her throat from behind. She tries to draw in a gasp of startlement- but with her throat cut, it’s only a strangled gurgle. She whirls to face you, true fear in her eyes, as she grasps her throat. She mouths only one word: Why?

Because I had to. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? I’m so sorry.

Keine collapses into a heap as she bleeds out. You quickly wipe your blade on her clothes, resecure it, and silently (and as nonchalantly as you could) slip out the door.

The whistling of the tea kettle fades as you steal away from the Kamishirasawa home.

--

The day passes, with conversation to Red and investigative discoveries being shared. You spend an hour talking to her afterwards, both of you studiously avoiding the topic of work. You take your leave from her, and go to visit Aya, to let her know of the developments in the case. (Of which there are none.) She sighs, grateful for your continuing to keep her in the loop, but it’s not selling papers anymore.

“Sure, it’s news, but it’s months old now.”

Still, you can’t leave a murderer running around Gensokyo. The irony is staggering, though.

In any case, you leave Aya to continue her… journalistic exploits… as the sun sets, you start jonesing for a drink. Strong drinks. They’ll help you think of ways to deal with the Wriggle problem. Maybe go for Hatate? Hmm. I’ll file that one away for later.

Jimbo’s bar is always a good place to go. As you walk in, it’s a bit livelier than normal. No, wait… that’s because of some girl who’s being loud and drunk in the middle of the floor. You silently walk in, and signal Jimbo for a drink. He quickly whips you up a gin and tonic, and you take it as you sit down on the stool by the bar.

“Thanks, Jimbo.”

Jimbo nods to you. You turn around on the stool to survey the bar… but as you turn, you’re looking directly into the face of that girl. And she’s got horns too. Some chains… and a ribbon on the horn.

“HEY! Whatta YOU lookin’ at!? Huh?”

--

[ ] Be the Investigator.
--[ ] Say nothing.
--[ ] “Yer ugly mug.”
--[ ] “Goddamn, you’re loud.”
--[ ] “Goddamnit, another hooker.”
--[ ] Write-in.

[ ] Be Suika. Suika’s way too drunk to be you! …or you be her! Whatever! Shut up!
[ ] Be the Hat. You can’t be the hat!
>> No. 138799
Damn it. Look at what you bastards did. Look at it.

>And you’d have done it completely differently anyways. Amateurs.
Why not frame the person that killed Akyu? Wouldn't that be better?



[x] Be the Investigator.
--[x] “Yer ugly mug.”

She's too young to be a hooker.
>> No. 138800
>>138799
It's hard to frame someone for a murder by specifically setting up the circumstances for the murder AFTER the fact. Which is why he really, really wants to figure out who killed Akyu and Keine.
>> No. 138805
[x] “Goddamn, you’re loud.”
>> No. 138806
>>138800
He could just slit her throat the same way Akyu was killed. That's all they know about Akyu's murder, so yeah.
>> No. 138810
>>138806
Then what about Yamame?
>> No. 138811
>>138810
Make it look like the other murderer was trying to frame Sakuya?
>> No. 138812
>>138810
He already framed that one on Sakuya. Why fix what isn't broken?

If he could kill Sakuya by slitting her throat as well, there'd be no reason to suspect him~
>> No. 138873
[X] Be the Investigator.
--[X] “Yer ugly mug.”
--[X] (After the inevitable bawling-out) “Goddamn, you’re loud.”
>> No. 138884
[X] “Goddamnit, another hooker.”

Look. Let's be honest here. She has chains. Chains. Investigator is going to assume some dominatrix hooker.
>> No. 138885
>>138884

>>138873 here. Changing to...

[X] Be the Investigator.
--[X] “Yer ugly mug.”
--[X] (After the inevitable bawling-out) “Goddamn, you’re loud.”
--[X] (When our thoroughly-scoused Investigator notices the chains) “Goddamnit, another hooker.”
>> No. 138899
[X] Be the Investigator.
--[X] “Yer ugly mug.”
--[X] (After the inevitable bawling-out) “Goddamn, you’re loud.”
--[X] (When our thoroughly-scoused Investigator notices the chains) “Goddamnit, another hooker.”
>> No. 139275
File 130214162811.jpg - (38.85KB , 600x375 , Ibuki_Suika_Vector_by_g4ronk.jpg ) [iqdb]
139275
[X] Be the Investigator.
--[X] “Yer ugly mug.”
--[X] (After the inevitable bawling-out) “Goddamn, you’re loud.”
--[X] (When our thoroughly-scoused Investigator notices the chains) “Goddamnit, another hooker.”

Those eyes are staring at you, as she breathes at you like an angry horse. Smells just like liquor. Man, the number of times you’ve woken up smelling like that… In any case, you aren’t taking any shit from broads. Not tonight.

Why are there so many goddamn broads here anyways? In fact, the only guy you’ve met is Jimbo, and that guy barely says more than two words at a time, and that shopkeeper (who you’re pretty sure is at the very least bisexual, though more than likely gay,)… all the rest of them have been dames.

Goddamn dames.

Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you let out the sigh of the long-suffering, and then look back up at her.

“I’m looking at yer ugly mug. You got a problem with that?”

“Do I got a problem? DO I GOT A PROBLEM!?” She puts a finger right on your nose and starts to press. “Yeah, I got a problem! You think you can just come right in here, and start ogling pretty ladies like it’s your job!”

You splutter out a laugh. “Pretty? You?”

Her eyes get wide with indignation. “HOW… YOU…”

“Goddamn, you’re loud. Why don’t you leave me alone so I can drink in peace?”

She picks you up bodily from the bar stool and leans in so that her eyes are an inch from yours. If looks could kill, you’d be dead already. But since they can’t (at least in her case,) she settles for the next best thing: flinging you bodily across the bar.

Shit fuck fuck fuck fuck I think I misjudged that a bit

You land flat on your back on top of a table, but momentum carries you that little bit further, and you slide off it completely, landing painfully on your head, before the rest of your body flops down off the table after you.

Ow.

You lay there for a moment, with everything blurry and out of focus, a probable result of the bangs on your head. That’s gonna swell. Gonna leave a lump. Oh, man, tomorrow morning’s going to suck. And I haven’t even barely started to drink yet. Now you’re wishing that you’d had Nitori install a liquor cabinet in your office. Hair of the dog just became mandatory.

As you’re laying on the ground, the horned girl comes and sits on your chest. “Tell me I’m pretty.”

“What?”

She leans down into your face. “You said something you shouldn’t have. Now tell me I’m pretty.”

Seriously? She must be more drunk than I thought! The chains on her help her weigh you down- you’d imagine that without them, she’d be 80 pounds, ninety soaking wet if she’s lucky.

Wait, chains? Oh goddamnit.

“Goddamnit, another hooker.”

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

“Good. Now tell me I’m pretty.”

“What?”

“It’s not hard, numbnuts. Repeat after me,” She raises her hand as though she was taking a pledge. “I, the insensitive and thick-skulled nitwit, find the girl, Suika Ibuki, to be the prettiest girl he has ever laid eyes on.”

“No.”

“Fine then, I’m not moving.” She takes a swig from her gourd. A gourd? You’ve got to be kidding me. Really?

You cross your arms and stare at the girl. Goddamn dames! Enough is enough!

You and Suika sit like that in silence for the next hour, upon which time Suika is propped against a chair, snoring loudly.

I win, wench.

“Jimbo? A little help here?”

Jimbo laughs, walks over to you and Suika, picks her up, and places her in the chair.

“Thanks, Jimbo.”

He nods, and walks back to the bar.

Well, shit. You can’t just leave this girl sleeping at a bar. It’s a lonely thing, to wake up in a bar, alone, while the birds are chirping and the sunlight streams in. Sunlight is terrible for hangovers. You should know.

Goddamn dames. Goddamn sense of chivalry. Goddamnit.

The other patrons in the bar pay you no mind as you heave the little horned girl up onto your shoulder. Jimbo chuckles a bit, and tosses you an ice-cold beer. “Thanks, Jimbo.”

Suika mumbles something incoherently. “Shut up, you.”

You step outside the bar and who is there, but Wriggle Nightbug, pointing an accusing finger at you, and shouting “AHA!”

“Aha what? I am not drunk enough to deal with your brand of bullshit right now.”

“Aha, I caught you red handed with another victim!”

Seriously? Seriously, come on. This is bullshit, you’re stupid.

“No, dumbass, she’s drunk, and I’m being a gentleman.”

Wriggle glares at you, and pokes Suika in the face. Suika absently swats at Wriggle’s hand. “Go ‘way, I don’ do tha’ thing no more.”

“See? Not dead. You’re just stupid.”

“I know you’re up to something.”

“Shut up, go away, and stop following me.”

“I know you’re up to something.”

You grunt, and start to walk away from Wriggle back to your office, leaving the annoying bug-bitch behind.

--

Opening the door to your office, you dump Suika unceremoniously into the couch you have by the door, and go sit in your seat, feet up on the table, cigarette in your mouth, and beer in your hand.

And then Sakuya is right next to you.

“Bringing home little oni girls? Mr. Investigator, I thought you had better tastes than that.”

“Goddamnit, and here I was hoping you were gone forever.”

“Not gonna happen. I still need you.” She looks at you, and cocks an eyebrow. “Have you given what I said any thought?”

--

[ ] Yeah, I have.
[ ] I really, really don’t want to talk about this.
>> No. 139284
[x] Yeah, I have.
>> No. 139286
[X] Yeah, I have.
>> No. 139307
[x] Yeah, I have.
>> No. 139310
[x] I really, really don’t want to talk about this.

I can't remember what she said and don't feel like scrolling up.
>> No. 139313
She hasn't said anything.

So plot calls
>> No. 139314
[X] Shut up, you crazy bitch. If you want my help, you should give me a good reason to help you still.
>> No. 139324
[x] Yeah, I have.
>> No. 139687
Did the earthquakes kill you?
>> No. 139731
>>139687
Do ho ho ho ho. Not quite.

Spent the entire weekend camping and hashing, so there was no internet at all for that. I'm off work next week, so there should be story.
>> No. 139862
File 130331002018.jpg - (81.90KB , 850x615 , sample-e1b14bcbbbb630ae157df4778de74809.jpg ) [iqdb]
139862
[X] Yeah, I have.

You sigh deeply. Well, shit, can't put it off forever.

“Yeah, I have. I've given it some thought.”



It was a night after you'd taken a day off from investigating the murders in Gensokyo- you'd taken Aya and Red out on the town. Rather, they'd taken you out- it's not like you really know the place. You'd watched the sunset from the Hakurei Shrine- the miko there let you do pretty much anything you wanted after you put one of those moonspeak bills that you got off of Akyu's body into the donation box.

The sun set, and you and the girls walked back to the Human Village in the twilight. Both Aya and Red had... “shown interest” in spending the night with you... to the point where Red looked like she was considering violence on Aya. Well, more than normal, anyways.

But... dames.

Goddamn, dames. You... “politely” shut the door in their face while they were arguing, and locked it behind you.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you turned towards your desk... and Sakuya was sitting on top of it.

Goddamnit.

“What? Jesus, woman, go away.”

“We need to talk.”

“Of course we do. That's what they all say. I don't want to talk.”

“You don't. But you have problems.”

“Like what? I have the investigation in hand, nobody suspects me at all!”

“And you've completely lost your focus on the bigger picture.”

“Just what's that supposed to mean?”

“You're too caught up in investigating a murder you KNOW you're not going to solve!”

“But what about Akyu and Keine?”

“What about them? Do you honestly care? Or are you just investigating out of habit, regressing to what's normal for you because you don't know what you're doing? That you're hopelessly lost and confused?”

“Well... you're right, I don't care...”

Sakuya gets off the desk, to stand and stare at you, arms crossed.

In a flash, her hand is around your neck pressing you against the wall, lifting your feet off the ground. Fuck! She's strong!

”Then what the hell are you doing?”

“Ghk-” You gesture to your neck, that she might want to release you if she wants an answer.

You cough, as she releases her grip on you, and you slide to the floor, rubbing your throat. “What's it to you? What do you even want from me?” Uppity bitch.

“I want out of Gensokyo. I want out. I want to go back. I never want to see this place again.”

“Whoa, whoa whoa. Wait a second. I thought you were happy serving Remilia here.”

“Happy? You've heard about her 'charisma', right?”

“Kind of...”

“Kind of. 'Charisma' isn't the word for it. She says something... and you just get this feeling, deep in your chest, that you have to do it. Even when your own mind is screaming at you not to do it. Do you know what it feels like, to be a prisoner in your own body?”

“But-”

“She's had me like this for decades. I'd rather see her dead at my feet. But I'll settle for getting out of Gensokyo. When I found out she was horribly burned, that was the first time I've felt hope in years. And then Meiling had to save her life.”

“So you're not actually dead, then?”

“No. No, I am not.”

Note to self- next time, shoot to paralyze, then verify, then shoot in the head for this bitch.

“Then who did I shoot?”

“One of Remilia's unfortunate thralls. We'd... capture and breed people. They are vampires, remember. And they didn't feed on natives of Gensokyo. The Scarlet Devil Mansion has... extensive sub-basements. Where we bred humans like cattle, for slaughter. We wouldn't have had to, either, if it had just been Remilia. She had enough control to not kill people herself. But Flandre... she couldn't. Every time she'd feed, she'd kill someone. We'd have to bake people into her food. People! I still remember the smell of cooking people.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“When I told Remilia to stop this, to stop Flandre for the good of the rest of Gensokyo... she... that's when her 'charisma'... stopped me from being me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I... don't know. It's hard to explain. Like I said, I wasn't me. She was always there, in my mind... just... there. She's gone now. She thinks I'm missing. God, I hope she never finds me. I couldn't go back. I... just couldn't...”

You stop for a moment to absorb all of that. Sakuya is holding onto you tightly, and crying.

“When I heard about an outsider... I thought maybe I could get out that way. Maybe I could escape. Because an outsider wouldn't want to stay here.”

“Well, I-”

“But you're not even trying to get out of here! You're just running in circles! You're... just going to leave me... with the vampires.”

“No, but-”

“Do you even know where those people came from? Do you?

Oh god I really, really don't want to know

“They only stopped grabbing people after Remilia used her 'charisma' on me.”

“I... I didn't know. You never told me.”

“I never told anyone else. Do you understand why we have to leave Gensokyo now?”

“...Give me time to think. This is a lot to take in.”



“Well?”

[X] Be the Investigator.

[ ] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.”
[ ] “I'm sorry. I just can't leave a case unsolved.”

(Some might say this is an important decision. To them, I would say NO SHIT SHERLOCK)
>> No. 139864
[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.”

New goal: Throw Sakuya back into Remilia's clutches.
>> No. 139865
[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] "You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here."
-[X] "But I just can't leave a case unsolved. There's someone else out there."
--[X] "But I promise, once he's dealt with, we're leave ASAP."
>> No. 139870
Holy shit, you made me feel sympathy for Sakuya.
>> No. 139871
>> “So you're not actually dead, then?” “No. No, I am not.”

Glad that's cleared up.

[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] “I'm sorry. I just can't leave a case unsolved.”

It's more than just a compulsion; thanks to Wriggle's unfortunate tendency to blab, they might know that the Investigator knows something he shouldn't. And, depending on who they are, they might be able to contrive (or be friends with someone who can contrive) some way of getting to him even in the outside world.

Even if he couldn't reasonably affect them in the outside world.

Because the characters in Gensokyo don't always operate on the strongest of logic.
>> No. 139873
[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.”
>> No. 139874
[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.”
>> No. 139887
File 130335088764.jpg - (113.57KB , 640x690 , plot.jpg ) [iqdb]
139887
[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.”
>> No. 139896
>>139870
Seriously. Holy shit. This fic continues to impress.

[X] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.”

inb4

[O] Investigator decides to go the Ballmont route.
>> No. 139899
I can't decide which option would end with a smaller body count...
>> No. 139900
>>139899
Investigating leads to bodies.

Well, really, any verb perpetuated by the Investigator tends to lead to bodies. So...

Yeah. Either way, someone's gonna die.

Do ho ho ho ho ho ho.
>> No. 139902
[X] Be the Investigator.
-[X] “You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here.
>> No. 139923
File 130343027724.png - (150.54KB , 1000x862 , adachi.png ) [iqdb]
139923
>>139862
Nice plot.

Except for two teeny tiny issues.

1. Remilia Is a light eater.
In terms of Vampiric attributes I wouldn't say she's weak but not all powerfull in say, comparison to a vampire like Hellsing's Alucard, She can't reproduce and make ghouls, (As stated in many interviews) Though she makes up for such shortcomings with her charisma, Gugnir, the ability to let her Scarlet mist out of her fingers,and of course Fatehax.

2. FLANDRE DOSN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEED.

She kills her would-be victims before even getting to that stage.

Although this may not be an error on you part and you might have intended this, but just incase.

However, we could take this from the other perspective and consider this may be one FAT lie, as everything Sakuya has said contridicts what is canon, and she may have forseen us looking into the 'her not being dead and planning to screw us over act' and deployed this as a technique to deter us.

Also, seeing as our lovely timebitch hates the SDM,(In Theory) I was wondering what you would do for the origin story.

I personally would make her to be the 'Missing link' From the Belmont bloodline that was supposed to appear during the events of Order of Ecclesia.

Anyhow, an interesting turn of events, although I do consider the prospect of leaving Gensoyko too soon hasty at best, as this would draw suspiscion around us, we need to find a way to pin these incidents on someone other than Sakuya (If she isn't lying of course) and Get out ASAP.

[X] Be the Investigator.

[x]"Prove to ne you ain't lying broad"
[x]Tell her of the reason behind our adversion to women in general.
(This vote may sway Sakuya if she's lying to not betray us regarless as it's probably going to be a moving story)
[x]"Anyway I can see you're desperate, but we can't just leave the case as it is as right now, as suspisicion would fall on me and you"
[x]"And the last thing I need to be hunted down on suspiscion of murder in this dam shit-hole"

Also, am I the only one reminded of adachi when I think of this investigator?

>Hates women
>Murders people
>> No. 139928
>>139923

Most of that can be hand-waved because this is a fanfic and not entirely cannon. Also, I'm pretty sure Remillia is still a light eater in this story, and the people in the basement are mostly for Flandre. Since she always ends up killing the person when trying to feed, they have to cook people into her food.

See here-
>Every time she'd feed, she'd kill someone. We'd have to bake people into her food. People! I still remember the smell of cooking people.

Stop nit-picking at a fanfic for not being true to cannon. It's silly.
>> No. 139929
>>139928
Psst. It's spelled canon.
>> No. 139930
File 130344901752.png - (31.58KB , 238x284 , pokemans.png ) [iqdb]
139930
>>139923
Ah, but I did in fact address both of those issues.

>1. Remilia Is a light eater.

And the people cattle aren't for her. If it was just her, there'd be no need for them. She is a light eater.

>2. FLANDRE DOSN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEED.

>She kills her would-be victims before even getting to that stage.

And that's why they breed people. Can't have someone going around killing people willy-nilly. And this way it's much easier to bake people into their food.

However, you did make a point that I want to make sure everyone picks up on:

>consider this may be one FAT lie

It doesn't contradict canon, but never assume the broads are being honest with you. Because dames are always lying. Goddamn dames.

Her origin story I already have planned, and it's nothing near as dramatic as that. It is, however, no coincidence that the Investigator is in Gensokyo, and she wants him to take her out.

Finally, your answer to this:

>[x]Tell her of the reason behind our adversion to women in general.

It's because he's an asshole. Really. That's it. Nothing deeper.

More like

Hates hookers
Murders hookers
>> No. 139937
File 130348393150.png - (89.37KB , 257x259 , 1301251358561.png ) [iqdb]
139937
>>139930
Okay, then, what about the contract where Youkai are supposed to SUPPLY the vampires with food that was made after vampires started a widespread war whe nthey entered Gensokyo?

After all, that IS the only one of two ways that the SDM recieves blood, as the other is recieved from Remilias 'Parties'

Or did you now know this?
>> No. 139939
File 130348407826.jpg - (439.92KB , 600x800 , 270a3092fd17137e5d503563470777e2.jpg ) [iqdb]
139939
>>139930
And as for the Flandre not being able to feed I forgot to say that She dosn't know how, as she does make em go boom.

And as for the baking people thing, they just put blood into the food I think, A bit like when you make a cake and add alchohol, or black pudding.
>> No. 139941
>>139939
And even if they did Cook it like you say, then I'm not too sure was to what the nutritional value would be, as cooked flesh gets rid of the blood, removing the point of it being a vampire freindly meal.
>> No. 139943
>>139937
Have you forgotten that, in canon, youkai don't die when they are killed? A few more breaks aren't going to hurt anybody.

If you want to use your brain, try to figure out the mystery. It is, apparently, solvable.
>> No. 139944
>>139943
Yeah. You can't really have a murder mystery when people don't die. Same goes for the fairies too.

Also, yes, the mystery is solvable, but you don't have enough clues for it yet, more than likely. Unless you're seeing things I subconsciously wrote that I missed.

>>139937
You really, really have to condense your ideas into one post. Take the time before you post, to check and make sure your spelling is better (it really makes it easier to take you seriously), and realize that... you're really, really nitpicking. Not that that's always bad, but... it's a bit much at this point.

Finally, sage your posts, son.
>> No. 140010
How could I miss this story for so long? Lunes (Or martes, or miercoles or whatever) I apologize for not reading this before. As Yukkuri Marisa would say, 'This shit's good!'
>> No. 140086
>>139937
>the contract where Youkai are supposed to SUPPLY the vampires with food

Still in effect... but it's not enough, given Flandre's tendency to play with her food, which is obviously not common knowledge. The snatching/breeding is all surplus, "on the side," whilst the contract-provided victims serve to allay suspicion ("we know where they're getting their blood from.")

Also, that contract only prevents the VAMPIRES from directly assaulting people... not Sakuya. Which is why they started an in-house breeding program after Sakuya was Dominated, and lost her ability to operate far from home, independently - only Sakuya could snatch people off the street, not the Scarlett sisters themselves.

Oh, by the way? "FLANDRE'S CAKES ARE MADE OF PEEEOPLE" has been hinted at in canon.

Anyways, you're missing the real problem here. This Investigator isn't in the canon ANYWHERE. What's up with that?

[X] "You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here."

Not every story has to be stuck in Gensokyo. The barrier works both ways, if you know how to push through it.
>> No. 140284
I don't remember if I've voted or not.

[X] "You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here."
Get this fucker out of my eastern wonderland before he kills someone I actually like.
>> No. 140288
>>140284
Oh man that sounds like a challenge.
>> No. 140320
File 130410095687.jpg - (135.45KB , 576x768 , ichirinmanlyunzan.jpg ) [iqdb]
140320
>>140288
[X] "You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here."
Get this guy out of here before he kills my favorite touhou (Unzan) with a gun (bullets being his one weakness) by shooting him in the head (his hitbox).
>> No. 140321
>>140320
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYymOVQD9qw&feature=related
>> No. 140353
>>140320
>Get this guy out of here before he kills my favorite touhou (Unzan) with a gun (bullets being his one weakness) by shooting Ichirin (his hitbox).

Fixed that for you.
>> No. 140398
>>139862
>“They only stopped grabbing people after Remilia used her 'charisma' on me.”
>breeding program

.... what.

I didn't... but... oh my GOD
>> No. 140514
File 130438785325.png - (80.22KB , 256x256 , 256px-Th075yukari01.png ) [iqdb]
140514
>>139864
I like this goal.

[X] "You're right. I should be focusing more on getting out of here."

Yeah, investigating’s kind of your thing. And yeah, there’s a murderer (who’s not actually you!) out on the loose. And while finding out who it is is always nice, it’s a bit tempered by the fact that you’re still in some world full of dames with bullshit powers.

Why can’t I have some bullshit powers?

“Yeah. I suppose you’re right. Getting out of here is important.”

“Good.”

You start absently flicking the cylinder out of your revolver, and flicking it back in. “So what’s the plan?”

“You haven’t got one?”

“I’ve got one, but it’s not a pretty one, and I don’t know most of the people here. All I’ve got is Aya’s notebook, and that’s just full of gossip for the most part. Sure, it’ll help when I’m trying to blackmail someone, but…”

Sakuya sits down on the desk, looking at you. “So let’s hear it.”

You flick a meaningful glance at the sleeping Suika, splayed out across your couch.

“Ah. Good point.”

You stand up, stub out the last bits of the cigarette out on your desk, and leave the now-empty beer on your desk. Motioning to Sakuya, you open up the door in the back to the room that you had intended to use for… “investigation sessions.” It’s got two bare-bones chairs, a table, and a creaky, badly-attached light that you can swing back and forth from the ceiling, with a shade that shapes the light that comes out, into a cone.

You light another cigarette, and lean against the wall.

“My plan is simple: Find Yukari, ask her to help me leave. Alternately, I could ask for help from Reimu, but from what I gather, that’s not a really reliable option.” You look at Sakuya for confirmation on that point. She nods.

“And if they won’t help you?”

“Well, they can either make it easy, or they can make it hard.”

“I wouldn’t recommend outright threatening Yukari or Reimu. Reimu is Gensokyo’s premier ‘troubleshooter.’

“When trouble happens, she shoots it?”

“More or less. You really, really don’t want to be the ‘trouble’. It helps that she’s not too bright though, so she might not catch on anyways. But if she does… well, you’re pretty well boned.”

“Eh. Well, it’s good that I hadn’t really planned to threaten her if she tries and fails. Can’t blame her if it’s not her fault. If she doesn’t try to help, then… well, that’s a different matter. And why shouldn’t I be threatening Yukari?”

“Because Yukari’s got the power of the ‘Manipulation of Boundaries.’”

“And that is…?”

“Complete horseshit. Like adjusting the boundary between Knowledge and Ignorance, or the boundary between Here and There, or really any two ideas, or places or things.”

You pause for a moment to take another drag on your cigarette. “That is horseshit. So what you’re telling me is that she could know who the killers are?”

“Not really ‘could’. More like ‘does’.”

“Goddamnit.”

Well that’s not good. But she hasn’t outed you. Which is odd.

“So if she knows, and probably has known this whole time, why hasn’t she done anything about it?”

Sakuya shrugs. “Could be any number of reasons. She could have been the one murdering Akyu. She could just not give a damn. She might think it’s ‘funny’ or ‘entertaining’.”

Or she could be trying to protect someone involved.

“I’ve got a question for you, Mr. Investigator. Do either Aya or Kotohime know you’re not from Gensokyo?”

“I’m certain Aya knows, she’s not that dense. Red might be that dense. Probably is, now that I think about it.”

“You think you could get them to help you dealing with Reimu and Yukari?”

“Oh, yeah. Red will follow me anywhere. Creepy, really. But you know what? I’ve gotten used to her. And she could be useful, you know? Aya… well, all I’d have to do is promise that it’ll be interesting to help me out. Which it will. She’s not going to be as easily manipulated as Red, so… that might be a problem down the line. But I’ll drive off that bridge when I come to it.”

Sakuya thinks a bit. “I think that’s everything, then. Ran stopped by when you were out, and left a message on your desk; I put it into the drawers after she left. You might want to look at it.”

“You were watching my place?”

She fixes you with those deep blue eyes. “Of course. I watch you a lot as well. Trust but verify, right?”

Man that’s creepy and stalkerish.

“And you probably read the letter as well.”

“Of course I did.”

Great.

Leaving Sakuya behind, you rummage around in your desk, and pull out the envelope. It says:

“Please stop by at your earliest convenience. I have important information for your investigation.

-Yukari Yakumo”

This is why I have an office, goddamnit! You stop by here! God, I hate dames. I hate self-important uppity dames even more. And stop by where?!

Well, you’re going to have to take someone with you to show you how to get there. Can’t really get Sakuya to take you, considering she’s “missing, possibly dead.”

As you’re thinking about this, Suika begins to wake up. She yawns, stretches, takes a drink from her gourd, and finally realizes she’s in unfamiliar surroundings. She sees you, and squints at you, as though she was trying to remember who you were.

God I hope she doesn’t remember who I am.

She apparently can’t remember who you are, so she shrugs and saunters up to the desk. “So… uh… how did I end up at your place last night? I can’t really remember, and I’m kind of hoping I didn’t do anything… um… you know.”

You look at her, fighting down laughter.

The laughter wins.

“Hey! It’s not funny! I’m a beautiful maiden, and I’m in an unfamiliar place! I have to shield my honor from brutes and men like you!”

Considering she bodily threw you across a room, this strikes you as exceedingly funny, contrary to her assertions.

--

Well, now you have a few choices of action available to you.

[ ] Go see Yukari.
[ ] Go see Reimu.
[ ] Write-in.

And take with you: (any combination)

[ ] Kotohime
[ ] Aya
[ ] Suika
>> No. 140515
[x] Go see Yukari.
[x] Suika
>> No. 140516
[x] Go see Yukari.
[x] Aya
[x] Suika

Aya and Suika should get along famously. Only taking one person is too boring~
>> No. 140519
[X] Go see Yukari.

[X] Kotohime
[X] Aya
[X] Suika
>> No. 140533
[X] Go see Yukari.
[X] Kotohime
[X] Aya

Yukari to tie up loose ends. Kotohime, because good fucking luck ditching her once she latches on. Aye... mostly because her interactions with Kotohime, and vice-versa, are too amusing.
>> No. 140537
[x] Go see Yukari.
[x] Kotohime
[x] Aya
>> No. 140538
[x] Go see Yukari.
[x] Kotohime
[x] Aya

>MC: Hi, I'm...
>Yukari: A killer. Good day, murderer.
>Red: What.
>> No. 140565
>>140538
>MC: Hi, I'm...
>Yukari: A killer. Good day, murderer.
>Red: What.

You know who's looking forward to that sort of scene and has two thumbs? This guy.
>> No. 140638
[X] Go see Yukari.
[X] Kotohime
[X] Aya

Now that I got your attention, let me just say that this is a curious situation. The problem is that if Yukari knows that we are a killer, will she help us? As you know, getting rid of people might be an easier solution than leaving them be... and in this situation, convicing Yukari that the Investigator a much larger threat to Gensokyo by staying there and that sending the Investigator back would be the simple solution might prove helpful.

Unless of course Yukari is one of those who actually act as a justice system.
>> No. 140681
>>140638
>The problem is that if Yukari knows that we are a killer, will she help us?

>gap youkai who used to regularly feeds people to vampires

Knowing Yukari, she'd probably use him as a contract killer where she doesn't want to be seen having a hand in deaths. Sometimes you just need a psychopathic sociopathic gunman shooting people discreetly as part of your intricate plans.
>> No. 140709
>>140681
Yukari has plans inside plans inside plans inside plans.

She's forgotten how most of them work though, which just leads to her doing things and then shouting out "EXACTLY AS PLANNED" when stuff happens.
>> No. 140751
>>140709
Technically, doing stuff and taking credit for whatever occurs as a plan IS exactly as planned. But that's a digression.
>> No. 140873
File 130516704144.png - (64.23KB , 400x358 , index.png ) [iqdb]
140873
[X] Go see Yukari.

[X] Kotohime
[X] Aya

Yeah, not gonna take Suika. That'd probably be a bad idea- you hardly know her, and her first actions against you involved violence. And she ended up inadvertently making you act like a gentleman. Can't be having that sort of shit.

So, who else could you get to show you the way? Probably either Aya or Red.



Well, Aya then. Gotta go find her.



You're sitting and waiting for the danmaku battle to be finished, relaxing on a bench while above you, Alice and Reimu are duking it out in the kaleidoscopic seizure-inducing spectacle.

As Gensokyo's only police officer, technically you're supposed to “keep the peace”. But it's so much easier when one of them is unconscious and the other one leaves. And it's fun to watch!

I should grab the Investigator and have him watch this with me! It'd be so awesome~

But then you'd have to leave, and it looks like it's already almost finished, based on the fact that Alice has taken a few hits and is starting to slow. Reimu will probably win this one, like she normally does.

Would really like to see someone knock out Reimu. Be a nice change of pace, you know?

At least Reimu does help when something big goes down in Gensokyo- but she's pretty useless any other time. Oh well.



You're sitting on top of one of the buildings in the Human Village, with your video recorder set up on a tripod as you record the battle between Reimu and Alice.

Slow news day. Glad something happened, even if it's just Reimu kicking the crap out of someone again.

It's a good policy of yours to follow Reimu whenever she leaves the Hakurei Shrine- she tends to cause “events”. Granted, she doesn't like you following her every move and publishing whatever gossip comes to mind in your paper about her, but hey, it's not like she can catch you. Compared to you, Reimu's slow as good news, while you have the speed of the bad news.

Maybe that's why you're the fastest in Gensokyo? You shake your head. That's waaaaay too much to think about, this early in the morning.

As Alice plummets to the ground, unconscious, you wonder for a moment why there aren't more of the serious spinal injuries in Gensokyo. Honestly, a fall from fifty feet can't be good for the neck.

Ah well.

As you're turning off the video recorder and cleaning up your setup, someone taps lightly on your shoulder. You turn, and it's the Investigator.

“Hey. I need your help with something.”

“And what would that be?”

“I need to go see Yukari. Apparently she knows something about the investigation.”

“So what's in it for me?”

“Headway on the investigation could lead to a breakthrough, which you could milk for at least a week of stories. And I'll let you in on the information Yukari gives me.”

You ponder for a moment.

Well, it's not like I was going to do anything else today except follow Reimu.

“Sure, why not?”

“Good. Could we leave immediately? I really don't want to get dragged into taking Red with me, so I'd rather be gone before she knows about what I'm doing.”

“You mean Kotohime? The one that's in the street waving at us?”

He looks down into the street at the joyful Kotohime. And facepalms.

“Goddamnit.”



You were welcomed in by Ran Yakumo, who has tails.

Nine of them. And fox ears. Seriously what is up with this place? Did someone decide that they were going to breed with animals ALL THE TIME? I mean, it sounds so romantic and noble when you call it “a love that transcended the boundaries of species”, but when you think about what that actually means... Welp. You're not going to give it any more thought today.

“Mistress Yukari requested that she see you alone. She's in the next room over there. Aya and Kotohime, I'll get some tea ready while we wait- this shouldn't take too long.”

This shouldn't take too long? Something is up. Something smells like a rat. You've got to look out for a setup.

Ran slides open one of those funny Japanese sliding doors, Seriously, what is so hard to grasp about a doorknob? and leads you in to a small tea room, with two cushions set next to a low table. A blonde haired woman is sitting on the far side, facing the door, sipping at her tea.

“Thank you, Ran, that will be all.” Ran bows and leaves, closing the door behind her as she leaves. Yukari gestures to the cushion, for you to sit. You sit.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Investigator. Pleasant weather we're having.”

You fold your arms and glare. She better not have asked for you to come here for small talk. You're kind of regretting not blowing her off to go talk to Reimu.

“Please, help yourself to some tea.” She gestures at the cup of steaming tea on the table before you.

“Alright. Cut the crap. What did you want to talk to me about? I'm a busy man, and I'm sick of pleasantries already.”

“Why, Mr. Investigator. So rude. I had thought that we could sit here a moment and enjoy our tea before we got down to business.”

“So I'm rude. You're not the first to tell me that and I doubt you'll be the last.”

“I could be the last.”



“Why do you think Yukari wanted to talk to him?”

Aya shrugs. “I haven't got a clue. Maybe she knows something about the murders. That's probably it. He'd probably have wanted to talk to Yukari anyway.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because he'd want to go back home.”

Home? What? Leaving? Without you? The thought strikes you deep at the core.

“Wh- what do you mean?”

“You didn't know?”

“Didn't know what?!” Aya's starting to make you angry again.

Aya sips calmly at her tea. “He's not from Gensokyo. You mean you couldn't tell?”

“I- but he-”



That last comment of yours seemed to make him a little angry, judging from the way his eyes narrowed at you.

Oh ho ho ho ho~ I think I'm going to enjoy these next few minutes.

“Alright, Mr. Investigator. I'll get right to the point. I want you to stop your investigation into the murders.”

A silence covers the room for a moment. You can tell he's thinking of what to say to that- you caught him off guard.

After a few seconds, he settles on the simple “Why?”

“Because if you don't, it will go badly for you.”



“I mean, if you got pulled from Gensokyo into the outside world, wouldn't you want to come back?”

“I- yeah, but-”

You can tell that Kotohime hasn't given this any thought at all. She's fumbling for words. It's kind of sad, really, how she's so devoted to him like a puppy.

In fact, you're not entirely sure why she's like that. It just doesn't make any sense to you.

Kotohime hasn't said a coherent word in the last minute, and now she's just staring into her teacup sadly.

I kind of feel bad for doing that now.



“Are you threatening me, Miss Yakumo?”

She does an exaggerated motion of thinking about it, then looks back at you, and deadpans, “Why yes, yes, I do believe I am.”

AW HELL NAW.

You grab the steaming hot teacup from the table with one hand, and fling it at Yukari's face. With the other hand, you grasp the table itself and flip it onto Yukari. As you scramble to your feet, the table stops in mid-air and goes flying towards you. It hits you, and carries you into the wall, where you crash into it with a resounding thud. You and the table crash to the tatami mat floor.

It's on, bitch. Oh, it's on.

With a groan, you stand on your feet. Yukari is sitting in the same cushion she was before, and still smugly sipping her tea. You flip the table up, and break off one of the legs, and heft it in your hand like a club.

“I don't respond well to threats.”

Yukari just rolls her eyes, and suddenly a massive kaleidoscope of colors rushes at you. The difference between this and a light show? Light shows don't feel like you're getting punched. The barrage keeps up, and you black out.



THUD. The sound of violence filters out from the room Yukari and the Investigator are in. Yukari steps out. “Ran, would you show Aya and Kotohime the door? I'll make sure the Investigator meets them at the exit.”

“At once.”

Ran ushers you and Aya out. When you reach the front door, one of Yukari's gaps appears, and the Investigator is unceremoniously dumped out of it.

That bitch~! Yukari obviously did something to him, and assaulted him. That won't stand.

He groans as Aya slaps him in the face lightly to wake him up and bring him around. His eyes focus on Aya. When he speaks, it's a low, angry growl:

“Aya. Who does Yukari hold dear?”

“Um... Chen and Ran?”

“Who's Chen?”

“A young cat shikigami of hers...”

“She knows something. I need leverage on her. I need Chen.”



[x] Be the Investigator.

[ ] Plan to go after Chen immediately.
[ ] Bother Reimu first. Then get even on Yukari through Chen.
[ ] Write-in.
>> No. 140886
[x] Bother Reimu first.

Yukari and Reimus is the most popular Yukari pairing, therefore Reimu did it. Flawless logic!
>> No. 140891
[x] Plan to go after Chen immediately.
>> No. 140909
[YOU ARE YOUKAI] Bother Reimu first. Then get even on Yukari through Chen.

We need info, or if possible, another hostage. Knocking Reimu out from behind doesn't sound like much trouble, given that she is only used to danmaku/straight-up battles. Lets introduce her to all those little tricks that you do not learn in school. Then,

[MEANS U GOT YOUKAI GUTS] figure out how to hold someone hostage/at gunpoint when your opponent can literally intercept the bullet in mid-flight (maybe an explosive collar like in Battle Royale?), followed by

[RIPNTEAR UR GUTS] Yukari.
>> No. 140944
The fuck just happened?

Investigator wants to leave.
Yukari wants the investigation to stop.
Yukari can make the investigator leave.
Investigator cannot continue the investigation on the outside.

If you don't see the obvious solution, you're as dumb as both of the aforementioned characters.

I understand the investigator, but Yukari's supposed to be smart and capable of getting what she wants.
>> No. 140945
>>140944
Here's one explanation: she's using reverse psychology.
>> No. 140957
>>140945
To make the investigation continue?
When she could just not say anything?

That's not how reverse psychology works, there's more to it than pretending its opposite day.
>> No. 140959
>>140945

I have to concur with this guy. If Yukari really wanted the Investigator to leave, she could have gapped him out of there the moment he came in the door. Therefore, she wants the Investigator on the case.

But for her to come crawling to him, begging him to solve it "for the good of Gensokyo" or what-have-you; he'd just brush her off as another pushy broad, and then she'd have to force him, which he wouldn't take kindly to, which... would not end well. So she asks him to call off the investigation, triggering his suspicions; she deliberately antagonizes him, raising his hackles and making it a matter of personal pride to finish the investigation. For the Investigator to do any less, to try and back out of it now, would be running away with his tail between his legs from one of those damn dirty hookers.

...Which isn't to say that Yukari isn't involved in the case in some fashion. For all we still know, she could just be using him to conveniently dispose of a loose end that could lead back to her.

...Or I could just be talking out of my ass. Your call.

That said,

[X] Bother Reimu first. Then get even on Yukari through Chen.
>> No. 140961
>>140959
I like your logic. Really I do.

Also, pride goeth.
>> No. 140979
SolusLunes Yukari as said earlier makes stuff up just like she wants to, and when people try to ponder what consequences it would lead to she says That sounds good, I'll put it in the plot JUST AS PLANNED.
>> No. 140981
>>140979
You sound suspiciously like you've had me DM for you before.
>> No. 141069
>>140873
>with your video recorder set up on a tripod as you record the battle between Reimu and Alice.
>As you're turning off the video recorder and cleaning up your setup,


>Aya
>video recorder
What?
WHAT!?
This is blasphemy!
>> No. 141077
>>141069
Whatever, grandpa. Kappa tech marches on.
>> No. 141155
>>141077
But using regular old cameras is a defining aspect of her character; she's the traditional reporter of fantasy!
>> No. 141625
File 130681410082.jpg - (7.52KB , 372x287 , private_investigator.jpg ) [iqdb]
141625
Well, my internet's been down since the typhoon, with no indication of when it will come back up. And I really wanted to update, and have more story, because I am really, really looking forward to the next three posts or so. So I rewrote this at work. It's better than the first draft anyways.

[x] Bother Reimu first. Then get even on Yukari through Chen.

Walking back to the village through the evening calms your rage a bit- yes, Yukari needs a smackdown, but all uppity dames will get what's coming to them eventually, right? In the end it doesn't matter who's the instrument of retribution, so long as it gets done, right?

...Right.

Saying that to yourself doesn't make it feel any better, so you console yourself by telling yourself that it'll be irrelevant in the end if you get out of this godforsaken land. It's not like she can reach you out of here.

Kind of curious how I got here though. I'll just make sure to not crash any cars into trees again. And I'll have to move to a different part of Detroit- I'm sure my office is trashed by now by the mob guys looking for me.

You wouldn't move out of town, though. You're not scared of a few petty mobsters- none of them have the bullshit hax powers of any of these dames.

The sun is setting, and Kotohime notices the fact that you've been rather quiet for most of this walk. “You look like you're thinking about something.”

“Eh, not much. Just thinking of home, and what I'll do when I get back.”

Aya takes that moment to slip in a quick “Told you,” to Kotohime, who ignores it.

“What is home like?”

“Not the greatest of places. City of Detroit, ever heard of it?”

“No...”

“Well, some would say it's the greatest city in the Union, but that's a load of crap. It's great for getting booze in from Canada- the fuzz can't scour the entire lakes and river. Plus, it's easy to get product across the river when it's frozen- sure, the Canucks outlawed liquor too, but they're at least still allowed to produce it.”

“Who ran the city?”

“Purple Gang. Bunch of thickheaded brutes, but so far they've managed to keep Capone's men from horning in on most of Michigan. Not sure if that's a good thing, but hey, devil you know for the devil you don't, right?”

“So what did you do about it?”

“You sure you want to know? It's not nice.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Played both ends against the middle, for the most part. Got paid twice, once by the cops, and once by the Purple Gang- the fuzz paid me to find out where they're smuggling their booze in through, where the speakeasies were- the gang paid me to rat out their competitors and speakeasies that were no longer under their protection, or operations run by Capone. One of the sides was going to twig to me eventually- I was providing information on the gang to the cops for cash, and I was doing the same on the other side.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“It was. Just before I came to Gensokyo, I was running for my life. The gang probably figured out what was up first- they don't take well to people who might have a chance of selling them out. Honestly, I'd rather it have been the cops, that way I'd get more warning and less chance of getting my head beaten in. I think they sent Johnny as a 'polite' warning to leave town- but I ain't doing that, it's my town, and the only real option is dealing with Capone in Chicago or the Italians in New York and Jersey.”

Aya notices the obvious discrepancy in your story. “If they're so interested in killing you, why leave Gensokyo? You've got a pretty good thing going here. Why leave?”

You shrug. “It's just not my place, you know? I guess it's hard to put into words. Would you leave the mountain and live underwater, even if it was rather nice down there?”

“I see where you're going with that. You know Reimu doesn't have the best record with sending people back, right?”

“Does it work occasionally?”

Aya shrugs. “Yeah, but not as often as most outsiders'd like. Yukari can probably do it, without fail, every time, but she's just fickle, and given to her own whims.”

Interesting. “So she's not the sort who would take kindly to being told what to do?”

“Nah. After... what, decades? Maybe centuries? Of being the most powerful person in Gensokyo, or rather one of them, she does things on her own whim and nobody else's.”

“Ha. I almost hope for Reimu to fail, so that I can show Yukari something.”

Aya cocks her head at you. “You think you're any different than any of the others?”

“Others?”

“Oh, yeah, we get outsiders here all the time. Not too long ago, there was some crackpot wizard, with some weird-ass magic that's nothing like danmaku, a “knight” from some “crusades” or something like that, some hopped-up demigod that acted like the whole of Gensokyo was his playground, some random businessman who ended up raising an entire army of fairies, et cetera. I get the feeling that not even half of those are accidental breaches of the border, but Yukari being bored and wanting someone to mess with. Though I bet that wizard almost actually did it himself. Shame about Keine, though. If he were to come back... bad times, let me tell you.”

“And nobody took Yukari down a peg or two?”

“Sure, they tried, and horrible things happened to them.”

“I take back what I said about wanting to mess with her. I think leaving would be best, especially if I can do it in one piece.”

Kotohime tugs on your arm and looks up at you. “But you'll take me with you, right?”

“...Sure, if you want to go. I'm telling you though, it's not the kind of place you want to go.”

“I don't care. It would be fun, and I'd be safe with you.”

Right.

The three of you arrive in the Human Village just after the sun starts to set.

“It's too late to bother Reimu tonight, and I have a few errands to run and tidy up things tomorrow, but day after, we'll head to the Hakurei Shrine and see if we can't get out of here.”

Kotohime positively glowed at the idea.



Late that night, in your office, you're taking what you can and putting it into your safe for later when you leave tomorrow morning for the Hakurei Shrine.

You remove your overcoat and hat, hang them on the coat rack, and drop the safe dial into one of the pockets. As you're brushing your teeth, you notice Sakuya watching you in the reflection. Refusing to stop for her, you finish up, spit, and wipe your face off before you turn to her.

“Yukari didn't go so well, I take it.”

“No. If I wasn't trying to leave tomorrow through Reimu, we might be having words, her and me. As it is, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones... as long as I never see her again.”

“So. I'll watch the shrine, and before you step through, if it works, somehow, I'll go through with you at the same time. And then we both get what we want.”

“Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.”

“The morning? Why not spend one las-”

“No. No, hell no, no, I am going to sleep. Now. By myself. You don't have to thank me. I'd really appreciate it if you stopped trying. Now go away.”

You walk through the door in the back to your bedroom, and shut the door behind you. If she really wanted to follow you, it's not like you could stop her; but... thankfully, she hadn't. Because that would make for an awkward morning. And it's bad to sleep with your clients. You learned that lesson the hard way, a long, long time ago.



No vote options this time.
>> No. 141629
>“Oh, yeah, we get outsiders here all the time. Not too long ago, there was some crackpot wizard, with some weird-ass magic that's nothing like danmaku, a “knight” from some “crusades” or something like that, some hopped-up demigod that acted like the whole of Gensokyo was his playground, some random businessman who ended up raising an entire army of fairies, et cetera. I get the feeling that not even half of those are accidental breaches of the border, but Yukari being bored and wanting someone to mess with. Though I bet that wizard almost actually did it himself. Shame about Keine, though. If he were to come back... bad times, let me tell you.”
Oh, you.


Keine...;_;
>> No. 141630
>>141629
Yep, that made me sad too. But take heart! It gets worse.
>> No. 141631
>>141630
She's dead. It can't get worse without dipping into ridiculous oh-she's-alive-again-somehow twists or obtuse eldritch bullshit, neither of which are very in character(?) for this story.

And on a completely unrelated note, where the fuck is Demetrious?
>> No. 141633
>>141631
I DID IT ONCE, I'LL DO IT AGAIN! Not really.

Fucked if I know. THE HELICOPTERS HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED.
>> No. 141635
File 130683173328.jpg - (23.82KB , 480x320 , movie1.jpg ) [iqdb]
141635
Quick note: I know I didn't notate it as such, but Act 1 ended and Act 2 started when Keine died, and the three-month timeskip.

-

Having left the blinds open so that the first crack of dawn casts its rays across your face, you slowly awaken. Today might very well be the day.

Pain in the ass that I couldn't figure out who killed Akyu and Keine. It never was my problem to begin with, I guess. But still... professional pride, right? And Yukari... I'd love to see her beg for mercy at the end of a gun. Uppity bitch. At least one thing might go right today. Maybe even two.

With that thought in mind, you run your hand through your still green hair. The roots are even coming in green- whatever was done to your hair was goddamn permanent. Never washed out, either. A small reminder, you guess.

Ah well.

Sakuya's probably already off, staked out the Shrine. Doubt she'll be wanting to talk to you much, after you rebuffed her last night. It'd be more awkward if I did sleep with her. Bad form, too.

You throw on your overcoat, and search for the safe dial. Still in your pocket. You draw your revolver, swing open the cylinder, and make sure it's fully loaded. Six bullets. Good to go. You close it. Final touch, the hat. It settles on your head like an old friend.

You take one last look at the office. The chair and desk have to stay, no way those are fitting in your safe. But you've taken everything you could, including the good brandy Jimbo gave you.

You open the door, and the pink sunrise lights the dewdrops on the blades of grass, and your breath comes out in a puff of condensation.

Cold morning... but it's what, November now? Can't remember the day.

Anyways, no time to admire the scene: you've got to get moving before Red stops by to say hi. You'd prefer to be gone before she realizes you've given her the slip- she won't be happy if you leave without her.

Suppose you wouldn't be happy if you left with her, though. It's better this way, both for you and for her.

Though you're leaving a score unfinished, and that gnaws at you, your spirit is lifted as you make the trek to the Hakurei Shrine.



You arrive at the Shrine a little before noon. The miko is sweeping the pathway near the torii gate at the entrance to the Shrine.

You cough, to attract her attention.

Reimu looks up at you: you can see she's skeptical. Probably because you haven't paid her yet; Aya's notebook did say that she does grub for donations. Possibly religiously. And then in the margin, Aya's explaining that joke and why it's so funny. Seriously, I got it. You didn't need to spend three lines on it, Aya.

“Can I help you?”

“Miss... Reimu Hakurei, right?”

“That's me.”

“I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Go ahead.”

“I'm an outsider to Gensokyo, and while I've enjoyed my time here, I think it is high time I be leaving. Yukari won't help me, so I've decided to ask for your help.”

“And?”

“And I feel that should you agree to help me, I will feel rather charitable, as in the entire contents of my wallet charitable, should you succeed in returning me home.”

She smiles at that thought. “Charity begins in the heart, Mr. Investigator. But I'm sure I can find it in me to help you out.”

She picks up the donation box and holds it out to you. You peel off a couple of moonspeak bills from the wad you picked up off of the first dead hooker, (which, incidentally, you didn't kill, and you'll testify in court if you have to,) and Reimu smiles at you.

“Right this way.”

She leads you through the temple, a small, airy, open thing. It feels nicer than an old, oppressive stone cathedral, that's for sure. Though the Mariners' Cathedral was always a nice one.

Out the back, in a shallow, circular reflecting pool, is another torii gate, decorated with all sorts of writings and papers.

“Stand in the water there.”

You oblige her, and step into the reflecting pool, just before the gate. Oddly, the water does not ripple. She reaches down into the pool, and draws up a handful of water, without stepping in.

“Remove your hat for me.”

You take your hat off, and hang it on a nearby post. Reimu then begins to slowly drip the water on your head- she has to stand on a small stool to reach high enough.

“Now, what I need you to do, is think of where you want to go. It helps immensely if you imagine somewhere you're very familiar with, somewhere you think of as home.”

You close your eyes, and think of the small house you grew up in- on the fringes of Detroit, where you spent the turn of the century when you were five- and then fourteen years later, you left, as you left for Europe and the Great War. Four years, after countless weeks spent in trenches, you returned. Three years after that, you had built a Private Investigative office- and then, three months in Gensokyo.

She taps you on each shoulder, and on the head, with her weird rod-looking thingy with the paper tied to the end (seriously, what are these things even called,) and you hear her say, “And one for luck!” as she beans you on the head, hard.

“Ow! What was that for!”

“Luck, I said. Now, as long as you don't step out of that pool, you should- and I say should, not will- be able to step through that gate back home. But before you go through, I hope you might be disposed to donate generously as you said?”

Well, it's not like you'll have any use for these moonspeak bills anyways. You pass Reimu the whole wad, and she pockets it with a smile. “Your way out is right in front of you, Mr. Investigator. Come see me if you should end up in Gensokyo again.”

At that moment, Sakuya is right next to you in the pool. “Thank you, Reimu.”

Reimu just cocks an eyebrow at Sakuya. “Thought you were dead.”

“Missing, not dead.”

“Clever of you, to attach yourself to an outsider headed out in about the same time period as you wanted out.”

“And will you say anything?”

“Nope. Far as I know, you're still missing.”

“Thanks, Reimu.”

“Least I could do. Now go.”

You step through the torii gate with Sakuya on your arm, eyes closed... and the familiar scent of gasoline pervades your nostrils. You're on a quiet back street in downtown Detroit, with Sakuya on your arm, with a tear dripping down her cheek. “I'm finally free. Free and back.” A paper floats through the air, and you catch it.

Reading the date, it states that it is November 24th, 1921. “Thanksgiving Day,” you say.

“Well, Sakuya, what are you grateful for?”

“Being free of that accursed vampire. Being out of Gensokyo, finally, after all those years.” She pauses. “I can't stop time anymore. I don't care. I don't care at all, and it's beautiful. I can finally grow old. I can finally live. What are you grateful for?”

“I finally get the chance to do this.” As Sakuya closes her eyes, and lifts her face to the sky, to glory in the first snowfall of the year, you pull out your gun, aim it, cock the trigger.

Boom.

The snowfall is stained scarlet.

-Snow End-



-End of Act 2-

[ ] Hatchet Man
[ ] Avenging Angel



[ ] Be the Investigator.
[ ] Be Sakuya.
[ ] Be Aya.
[ ] Be Kotohime.
[ ] Be Yukari?
[ ] Be the hat.
>> No. 141638
[X] Be Yukari?

I want to be Yukari?!

Not that dumb broad, Yukari.
>> No. 141640
[x] Be Kotohime.
>> No. 141642
>>141638
>>141640
Please take your choice in the first option selection, not just the character select, too. I would definitely appreciate that.
>> No. 141643
>>141642
I'll vote for the first set of options as soon as I know what I'm voting for, faggot.
>> No. 141646
>>141643
You're mom.

[x] H. Man.
[x] Be Kotomine
>> No. 141655
[x] Hatchet Man
[x] Be Kotohime
>> No. 141656
Wha...
What the fuck was the point of that?
>> No. 141658
[X] Be Aya.
Smart enough to figure stuff out.
[X] Avenging Angel
When we get another go with Sakuya through this, I'm fully approving of it. I somewhat liked Snoop till now, but backstabbing is breaking all rules you should hold onto. Judas. JUUUDAAAAAAS! DAMN, this guy is a bigger dick than Eldrad. Just as ungratefull'd. I hope he either learns the errors of his ways or gets his ass handed to im later on.

>“Being free of that accursed vampire. Being out of Gensokyo, finally, after all those years.” She pauses. “I can't stop time anymore. I don't care. I don't care at all, and it's beautiful. I can finally grow old. I can finally live. What are you grateful for?”
>“I finally get the chance to do this.” As Sakuya closes her eyes, and lifts her face to the sky, to glory in the first snowfall of the year, you pull out your gun, aim it, cock the trigger.
>Boom.
>The snowfall is stained scarlet.
>-Snow End-

Fuck, this is killing me.
>> No. 141659
>>141656
Being a dick for it's own sake, I guess. Or to stop her form saying where he was: a fantastic land of monsters, because that could totally be a dangerous loose end
>> No. 141662
>>141659
I suppose you're right, but it was still tremendously stupid. And mean. She's skilled in fighting, and would probably slick right into the nightlife of Detroit. A hitwoman, perhaps. And she would be forever grateful/indebted to him. Also, psychological release. Who else could he have talked to about Gensokyo?
To top that off, like hell she would tell anyone. New name, new history, I bet she'll cover up all her tracks in the off chnce that Yukari could come along.
Also, could you kill anyone, no matter the circumstances, after hearing these kind of words from them? Come on.
>> No. 141663
[x] Hatchet Man
[x] Be Aya.

Hatchet man clearly means ruining someone's reputation and couldn't possibly be interpreted any other way. We'll ruin all the reputations. All of them!

and fuck kotohime forever
>> No. 141664
>>141662
He's wanted to kill her for a long time. It's not like this came out of nowhere.
>> No. 141669
>>141658
There's backstabbing, and then there's finishing business with someone who'd mercilessly fucked with you for a long time to get what she wanted.

A dick? Undoubtedly. Judas? Not so much.
>> No. 141670
>>141669
I could accept that if it wasn't what we wanted too.
>> No. 141672
>>141670
Speak for yourself. I wanted to see her fucked over by Remilia again, but this is a nice consolation prize.
>> No. 141679
>>141672
...I was talking about the investigator.
>> No. 141688
She fucked with him so that he could do what he was supposed to in the first place.
>> No. 141696
>>141688
He wasn't "supposed" to do jack shit. He just happened to want to go home, that's all.
>>141679
You think he shouldn't want to kill her because they both wanted to leave Gensokyo? I'm not following.
>> No. 141706
>>141662
He is tremendously stupid. And mean. And vindictive. And holds a grudge. I'm not trying to write him as likable. I know I don't like him, but he's fun to write.
>> No. 141709
>>141646
When Kotomine Kirei get to Gensokyo?
>> No. 141714
>>141706
Eh. He's fun to write, but he's steadily getting less fun to read.
>> No. 141719
>>141714
If you have suggestions to fix that, I am all ears.
>> No. 141728
>If you have suggestions to fix that, I am all ears.
>>141658
>I hope he either learns the errors of his ways or gets his ass handed to im later on.
How about this?
(note: the first one is a lot more satisfying, but also a lot harder to write)
You could try it with some sort of responsibility-building task that he can't just ditch first-chance. Like having to watch out for a Touhou, or be indebted to one, or something in that direction. Maybe even becoming friends with one, and going out on a rescue mission to save them.
>> No. 141732
>>141728
I think the closest he has to a friend would either be Jimbo or Aya. However, I will file away that idea, I will see if I can make that workable. Thank you!
>> No. 141733
>>141658
>backstabbing is breaking all rules you should hold onto
While I really despise this story, she DID try to kill him. And has no compunction at letting other people die so she can pretend to be dead. It's not a big jump to ensure that she doesn't try to ensure the investigator doesn't go around spouting his mouth or something. Because the investigator would do the same in a heartbeat or two.

The reason why I don't like this story is that everyone seems innocently stupid victims/victims to be (Aya, Kotohime, Yamame) or evil backstabbing plotting bastards (Investigator, Sakyua, Yukari).
There doesn't seem to be any even half-decent characters who are smart (except for Yukari, and... well...) and so there's no real sense of empathy for any of them. The fact that they're not even very clever means they don't have that entertainment value going. In another story the Investigator would work pretty decently as an animal-guile, street-smart cruelty using antagonist, but without someone to play off more (e.g. Kotohime or Aya) it feels very lacking.
>> No. 141736
>>141733
I think I've tried to establish Aya as being somewhat brighter than the rest: she just hasn't put two and two together yet; though with him being gone, don't put it past her to figure a few things out. Kotohime... well, you're right, she is a total airhead. I tried to make her close to a Misa Amane sort of character, and I think I may have overdone it. Yamame was... well, a victim of her own choices, I guess? Wrong time, wrong place, and unfortunately, sometimes that just gets people killed.

I wouldn't say either Sakuya or Yukari are evil. Sakuya's driven. Should I have ended up in her position, I think I personally would have done the same sort of thing. Yukari hasn't really been characterized as much, but as a couple of people have mentioned, specifically >>140959, she can read people. Really well. I wouldn't call her evil, or plotting, or backstabbing.

Honestly? The Investigator isn't evil either. He's... morally bankrupt, I suppose. What I've learned from him so far is that it's hard to be generally "evil" without some sort of higher motivation; the motivation of "not getting caught" would work better I suppose if I was still playing it off for comedy, or if he still had a higher goal to accomplish that would be achieved through killing people. I wouldn't call him backstabbing, either: he really, really dislikes being manipulated, which is exactly what Sakuya did to him. I don't think he'll like it if Yukari does her normal thing and tries to screw with him: but I'm still trying to figure out exactly what he can actually DO. I have some ideas, but I'm trying to stay away from the "lol hooman beets yukari" sort of thing. I suppose I'd have needed to set him up as more of a Magnificent Bastard for her, but... well, he's not.

I have learned quite a bit from this story: while it is, of course, far from perfect, I think it has some life in it yet. Even if it doesn't, it will certainly help whatever next thing I write: and I do like the Private Eye archetype, and I think I'll be using it again.

Even though you don't like the story, I am thoroughly grateful you took the time to tell me what I need to improve on. I will definitely do my best to make Act Three better than the past two.
>> No. 141757
File 130695446035.jpg - (386.51KB , 700x1460 , TaR46.jpg ) [iqdb]
141757
>>141736
I only felt bad about the last post because I was expecting redemption -or some kind of improvement- for him. Of course, this isn't that type of story; I just need to adjust my expectations a little and I'll be just fine.
The CYOA is fine as it is. His motivations needs to be a bit more clear but that's all.
>> No. 141785
[X] Hatchet Man
[X] Be Kotohime

We need more Kotohime, and maybe we'll see hatchets everywhere.
>> No. 141795
>>141736
Eh, don't sweat it too much. Just because I dislike the story significantly and occasionally hope your hard drive explodes in a fragmenting spinning hail of death doesn't mean others might not take a shine to it. You're still getting a fair number of votes, after all.

Oh, but-
>investigator
>not backstabbing
>not evil

>Yamame was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she was probably only a whore, and it was in another world and killing a bystander by stabbing her in the back simply to use her corpse as evidence for framing someone else for murder definitely isn't a horrible horrible evil act
Really, I hadn't even thought that much about Sakyua, I'd judged the Investigator much earlier.
>> No. 141797
>>141795
All the same, still gave me ideas.
Never said he wasn't backstabbing though.
Because he is. Totally fucking is.
>> No. 141798
>>141795
No, you're right, the Investigator is almost comically evil and needs to be slapped with some character development. Or simply slapped. I like him cause he's a dick, but there are limits...

as an aside, I read problem sleuth because of this story (somehow) and now I can't stop thinking of the Investigator as Ace Dick. And wishing he had a higher imagination stat.
>> No. 141825
>>141719
Well...he just shot the most interesting plot thread of story in the face. I'll have to get back to you on how to make him better.
>> No. 141826
>>141825
What plot thread? Sakuya's story was over. She was going to bugger off and do whatever she wanted if she lived. This way, she left on the Investigator's terms.
>> No. 141830
>>141826
Maybe it was done; it certainly is now. Honestly, I'm probably just bitter about how pointless that was. It's practically a troll ending.
>> No. 141832
>>141830
Troll ending? Have you seen a body? Because I haven't seen a body. Besides, we all know how well that went last time.
>> No. 141862
>>141832
I would pay good money to see a twist like this happen. GOOD MONEY, I SAY.
>> No. 141865
Solus that was some update, hot damn. We should have seen it coming tho.
Looking forward to the next update.
>> No. 142463
Updates will come... soon... ish.

Working on some crap, need to make more time to write.
>> No. 142464
File 130820869489.png - (1.12MB , 960x1200 , 18776891.png ) [iqdb]
142464
>>142463
Hooray!
>> No. 143133
File 13092242677.jpg - (23.15KB , 245x206 , pew.jpg ) [iqdb]
143133
[x] Hatchet Man
[x] Be Kotohime

Click-clack.

The sound of a rifle’s bolt being worked echoes loudly in the silence after the gunshot. The spent cartridge clatters on the ground.

You open your eyes to see the Investigator sprawled on the ground, clutching his right hand frantically, screaming.

That’s… rather a lot of blood.

You look up from him to the lady in a red dress behind you- a multicolored, jeweled necklace and blonde hair tied in a side ponytail, and toting a rather large bolt-action rifle.

“Flandre.” You spit the word at her.

“You look unhappy to see me! Remilia said you got lost, so I came looking for you~!”

“I’m not going back.”

“Ehhhh… we don’t have to go back now, I guess? This place is fun! You wouldn’t believe the things people do here! I mean, I danced, I had some funny tasting water that made things fun…”

You gesture to the Investigator who’s still writhing on the ground, bleeding from his shattered hand. “You shot him! What the hell is wrong with you!”

“Oh, that? He’s just being a crybaby and overreacting. Look, I’ll show you!”

Flandre hefts the gun one-handed and places her other hand over the muzzle, and pulls the trigger. The back of her hand explodes in a spray of blood, bone fragments, and hot lead.

Flandre winces. “Okay, it hurt a little bit, but he’s just being a baby. I mean, come on, it doesn’t really even hurt that much now! Besides, he was going to shoot you! I saved your life. You should be grateful~!”

You turn to the Investigator. “Is that true?”

Through clenched teeth, he forces out the words. “Goddamn… right. Uppity… hooker… bitch.”

“You fucking bastard.”

“Fuck… you.”

--

The sun shines through your window on the late fall day, as the sun rises at the crack of dawn. Today’s the day you and the Investigator leave Gensokyo! Together! Forever!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

And you won’t have to deal with that tengu whore anymore! …Though sometimes she can be a nice person.

But not often. Still don’t like her. But today’s not the day for thoughts like that to get you down. You feel light as air! And with that lightness and a skip in your step, you make your way to the Hakurei Shrine. As you come up to the shrine, there’s nobody there. Reimu’s probably still sleeping, and the Investigator probably hasn’t gotten here yet.

Good. I wanted to surprise him.

As you sneak around the back of the shrine, something catches your eye. Hanging on a post is a black hat.

Wait. That’s his hat.

He must be inside already. Shame, you really wanted to surprise him. Oh well. You stride up to the door, slide it open to see… Reimu, by herself, asleep.

Curiouser and curiouser.

A feeling of slight apprehension dawns on you as you walk over to Reimu and shake her awake. “Hey! Reimu! Wake up!”

“Nnngh… what? Whaddaya want? ‘s early…”

“Reimu, have you seen a tall guy, green hair, kinda grumpy, but real nice come by here today?”

“Nnnope. Been sleeping all day. Besides, he came through here yesterday.”

It’s as though a glass cracks. Very slowly and carefully, you say, “…What?”

“Yeah, he came through here yesterday, made a donation, and asked me to send him back home, out of Gensokyo.”

The glass shatters. “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT”

--

Sakuya:
[ ] Leave him.
[ ] Take him with you.

[ ] Go with Flandre.
[ ] Try to get away from Flandre.

[ ] Write-in.

Kotohime:
[ ] UNLEASH THE RAAAAAAAAAGE
[ ] Calm down, calm do-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[ ] Write-in.

Short update, I know, but it’s something, right?
>> No. 143150
[x] Take him with you.
[x] Go with Flandre.
[x] Calm down, calm do-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
>> No. 143153
[x] Take him with you.
[x] Try to get away from Flandre.
[x]RAGE
Serves him right.
>> No. 143155
>Kotomie
SON OF A BITCH I FORGOT TO VOTE FOR-

Ahem...right. Well done.
>> No. 143158
[x] Leave him.
[x] Go with Flandre.
[x] Calm down, calm do-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
>> No. 143183
Sakuya:
[x] Finish him off.
Kotohime:
[x] UNLEASH THE RAAAAAAAAAGE

Hahaha. Now'd our chance to poison Kotohime against the Investigator forever.
>> No. 143225
Fuck it. Run.

Sakuya:
[x] Leave him.
[x] Try to get away from Flandre.

Kotohime:
[x] Calm down, calm do-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
>> No. 143226
Fuck it. Run.

Sakuya:
[x] Leave him.
[x] Try to get away from Flandre.

Kotohime:
[x] Calm down, calm do-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
>> No. 143230
File 130929822986.png - (147.13KB , 380x631 , 380px-HazaCSArt.png ) [iqdb]
143230
You know It never occurred to me until now, but that fact that our hair is green and we are an inspector and a dick, made me realize that our MC is modeled after this asshole.
>> No. 143260
>>143225
>>143226
Oops. Disregard one of those.
>> No. 143262
>>143230

Took you long enough. I realized it when the green hair was first mentioned.
>> No. 143264
>>143260
Disregard? You say that like I count votes!>>143262
...And when I posted a picture of him in the last thread. Jokes were made. None of them were all that funny. Granted, he's waaaay much more of a magnificent bastard than the Investigator has proven himself to be...
>> No. 144159
File 131156591430.jpg - (15.61KB , 225x225 , ichirin.jpg ) [iqdb]
144159
So two of the options were ties (because I’m counting “Finish him” as a vote for “Leave him”,) so I’m just gonna pick something I think will be interesting and fun.

[x] Leave him.
[x] Go with Flandre.
[x] Calm down, calm do-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

You blacked out from the pain (seriously, those metacarpals? Shattered. Good thing you’re a lefty, right? And even if you’re not, you’re going to learn to be,) after Sakuya and Flandre just left you there on the sidewalk in the falling snow.

Maybe I handled that… wrong.

If you hadn’t tried to shoot Sakuya, you wouldn’t have gotten shot yourself. Probably. Apparently Flandre has something of a… reputation. Why is she even here? Somebody knew that you were coming back here. And by extension, somebody knew you were coming back here with Sakuya. …Remilia? Maybe? This is goddamn confusing.

You realize that you’re not bleeding out on the sidewalk anymore. In fact… you seem to be on something soft.

Aw, god damn it, I’m in the hospital.

You’re not looking forward to opening your eyes. You know that when you do you’re going to be surrounded by cops asking questions. Because, you know, big old hole in your hand, doing the half-Jesus and everything.

That thought makes you chuckle, and that leads to a cough, and a reminder that hey, the hole in your hand still hurts. A lot. You open your eyes.

A large, ruddy, muscular old man is asleep in a chair across from you. This… isn’t a hospital. In fact, you’re on a futon in somebody’s home. You lift your hand, and see that it’s been bandaged: not too much someone could do for the bones, you guess. Still hurts like a bitch. You try moving your fingers, but none of them respond except for your thumb. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Flandre just moved to the top of your list. Judging from the way she barely flinched from the bullet when she shot herself in the hand, unlike Sakuya, she’s probably not human.

You look towards a window. The sun’s just starting to come up. Or go down? You’re not entirely sure.

In a doorway to the kitchen, a young woman appears. She’s got short, purplish hair, like a black that’s gone pale in kind of a weird way, and she’s wearing a simple white dress with a blue trim on it.

“Oh, you’re awake. Feeling any better?”

You shake your head. “Maybe put me behind a rock for three days. That might do something.”

She chuckles. “You know, they nailed Jesus to a cross, not shot him in the hands and feet.”

You shrug. “So my religious education was sorely lacking.”

“Does your hand hurt?”

“A little.”

“Let me go get something for that then; when the pain comes back it’s going to be rather unpleasant.”

She walks back into the kitchen, and a moment later comes back with a glass of water, and a couple of pills. She hands you the pills, and holds onto the glass herself.

“Put those in your mouth, and I’ll help you sit up so you can drink this.”

You do as she says, and she puts the water- no, wait, that’s definitely gin- to your mouth, and you take a swallow to get the pills down.

Gin. She has got to be an angel.

“The pain will dull soon enough. When it does, I’m going to change your bandage.”

“I’m kind of curious. How do you heal a hole in the hand?”

She shrugs. “I’m not really sure. Unzan,” she gestures at the sleeping old man, “was a doctor. He’s the one who treated your wound originally. Says he set the bones so that they might heal eventually.”

Well, that’s good news. Maybe you should try being nice to her. I mean, they did help.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

“I’m Ichirin Kumoi.”

“That’s… kind of an odd name for someone living in Detroit.”

She shrugs. “Blame my family. They were kind of old-fashioned. They immigrated from Japan.”

“Were?”

“Yeah, they died a while ago. Been living with my uncle Unzan for a while now. So, Jesus, who’s your Judas?”

“What?”

“Who shot you?”

“Oh. Um… Some crazy broad.”

“What’d you do to her?”

“It’s… a confusing story. I’m not…” Well, you could tell her ‘Oh hey I was just trying to shoot this backstabbing hooker-bitch in the head for fucking with me when out of nowhere her… ‘owner’ or something like that comes out of the blue and shoots me in the hand because I was trying to get my revenge.’ “…not really sure,” you finish.

“Aww, you broke her heart.” She chuckles and runs her finger down the side of her face as though a tear was dropping. “You made the poor girl cry, and she doesn’t love you anymore.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“Of course I’m joking.”

“So, what’s your name, Mr. Jesus?”

“Avery.”

“Avery? Just Avery? International Man of Mystery? Ooooh, I’m impressed. Avery’s important.

“Well, you said Mr. Jesus, so obviously it’s Avery Jesus.”

She laughs again.

“So why’d you pick me up and help me?”

She gives you an immensely thoughtful look. “Hmm, I don’t know… how about basic human decency? You know, help your fellow man and all that?”

“Then why not just take me to the hospital?”

“Because they ask questions about gunshot wounds? And you know, they start asking questions, they start asking about me, they start finding out about things…”

“Like that gin.”

“Like what gin?” She spreads her hands.

“Oh, I get you.”

“Right. Can’t just leave a man to die, that’s just not right. Unzan would never stand for it. He’ll never say as much, but he’s a nice guy at heart. But I can’t just take the person to the hospital, they’ll start asking questions, and we like to keep our business on the down-low so the police don’t start ruining our operation.”

“I’m hearing an ‘and’ there.”

“And you’re the guy who’s been, for the most part, feeding the cops bad information so that they don’t come ruin our fun.”

Aw, crap.

“I… but, whoa.” A sudden wave of dizziness envelops you, and the edges of your vision turn black.

“Oh, looks like the medicine’s gotten to you. Lie back down, go to sleep. You’re in good hands.”

And you’re out again.

--

“But where did he gooooooooooo?”

Reimu shrugs. “Out, I guess? I didn’t really ask him where.”

“I was supposed to go with him!”

Reimu awkwardly scratches her head. “Hey, um, I don’t know what to tell you…”

But it’s too late, you’ve broken down crying and are sobbing into Reimu’s chest.

She pats you on the back, trying to be comforting.

--

[ ] Be the Investigator.
- [ ] Man, Sakuya’s a bitch, but… nobody deserves to go back to what those vampires had her do.
- [ ] Fuck her. Stupid backstabbing hooker-bitch.

[ ] Be Kotohime.
- [ ] Write-in.

[ ] Be Aya.
- [ ] Write-in.

[ ] Be Sakuya.
- [ ] Write-in.

[ ] Be the hat?
- [ ] Oh god where did the hat go
>> No. 144162
[x] Be the Investigator.
- [x] Man, Sakuya’s a bitch, but… nobody deserves to go back to what those vampires had her do.
>> No. 144163
[X] Be the Investigator.
- [X] Man, Sakuya’s a bitch, but… nobody deserves to go back to what those vampires had her do.

[X] Be Kotohime.
- [X] Waaaaaaaaaaah!

[X] Be Aya.
- [X] The man of the hour, vanished without a trace!

[X] Be Sakuya.
- [X] Try to think of a way to get out of this.

[X] Be the hat?
- [X] Oh god where did the hat go
>> No. 144164
[x] Be the Investigator.
- [x] Fuck her. Stupid backstabbing hooker-bitch.

Fuck Sakuya. Too lazy to make any write-ins right now.
>> No. 144168
[X] Be the Investigator.
- [X] Man, Sakuya’s a bitch, but… nobody deserves to go back to what those vampires had her do.
>> No. 144187
[X] Be the Investigator.
- [X] Fuck her. Stupid backstabbing hooker-bitch.

[X] Be Kotohime.
- [X] Waaaaaaaaaaah!

[X] Be Aya.
- [X] The man of the hour, vanished without a trace!

[X] Be the hat?
- [X] Oh god where did the hat go
>> No. 144201
One more thing! Please vote for who you would like to do the recap in the next thread as well; any character who has appeared in the story works, though obviously main characters would be better. Anybody at all except the Investigator.
>> No. 144202
>>144201
Wriggle for an anti-Investigator viewpoint. To balance out Kotohime.

[x] Kotohime: Aya. That bitch must have known about this. Go scream at her until you break down crying.
>> No. 144206
Also, I will likely not be updating this until around the beginning of August. I'm going up to Tokyo and climbing Mt Fuji. Fuck yeah.
>> No. 144208
>>144202
Seconding Wriggle.

[x] Be the Investigator.
- [x] Fuck her. Stupid backstabbing hooker-bitch.

[x] Be Kotohime.
- [x] Serious the fuck up.

[x] Be Sakuya.
- [x] Try to think of a way to get out of this.

[x] Be the hat?
- [x] Oh god where did the hat go
>> No. 144209
[x] Be the Investigator.
- [x] Man, Sakuya’s a bitch, but… nobody deserves to go back to what those vampires had her do.
YES
>> No. 144210
Please let him help Sakuya by killing her. Release her from the bonds of fate, Investigator!
>> No. 144211
[x] Be the Investigator.
- [x] Man, Sakuya’s a bitch, but… nobody deserves to go back to what those vampires had her do.

[X] Be Kotohime.
- [X] Waaaaaaaaaaah!

[X] Be Aya.
- [X] The man of the hour, vanished without a trace!

Aya for next recap.
>> No. 144216
>>144210
You're a terrible person and I'm noting this for future reference.
>> No. 144219
>>144210
You did that on purpose.
>> No. 144220
>>144210
You did that on purpose.
>> No. 144296
File 13118926911.jpg - (92.29KB , 768x576 , 124155971774.jpg ) [iqdb]
144296
>>144216
Purposely misinterpreting a winning vote is something readers just love
>> No. 144304
>>144296

It wasn't the winning vote.
>> No. 144305
>>144296
I can't see the Investigator helping Sakuya, who he just tried to kill, out of the goodness of his heart. It doesn't make any sense.
>> No. 144340
>>144305
Helping is temporary. Losing the chance to take revenge on somebody is eternal.
>> No. 144851
Think I might take this on temporary hiatus. Many different things I want to write right now. I'll get back around to it though.
>> No. 144856
>>144851
What sort of things? I wanna read these things.
>> No. 145043
>>144856
Specifically, the update to the Wizard joke thread, a short story (that I'm just waiting for a picture for), and possibly a joke update for another story. Anyways. Most of those are done, so I suppose I'll update this again- didn't take nearly as long as I had expected.