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133878 No. 133878
Thread 1: >>123033
Thread 2: >>124226
Thread 3: >>124917
Thread 4: >>125518
Thread 5: >>126187
Thread 6: >>126955
Thread 7: >>127594
Thread 8: >>128755
Thread 9: >>129398
Thread 10 >>130134
Thread 11 >>131167
Thread 12>>132680

In which the attached image says all.





Pyonta.

In desperation, you once reached out to touch the minds of distant deities, lurking in shattered dimensions far beyond the Outer Planes of the Great Wheel. One brush with that eldritch sentience, and your mind was stretched and warped, like butter spread over seven-dimensional bread. And now, once again, you taste the miasma of those horrific entities in this thing, this-

PYONTA!

Clashing consonants of an illogical name, not meant for mortal tongues, thunders through the chambers of your soul. Your mind corrodes at the touch of an utterly alien mind; born of a place far beyond the borders of rational natural law. Unfathomable, unconquerable, infinitely hateful – you know this hat to be your doom.

“Eh?” Suwako says, catching the direction of your empty stare. She touches the Beast lightly. “Okay, it’s silly, but the googly eyes are cute, right~?” She flashes you a charming smile.

THE BEEEEAST! you scream into Suwako’s face at the top of your lungs before tripping over backwards.

“He’s snapped,” Meiling observes flatly.

”THE CHOCOBO WITH A THOUSAND CHIIIIICKS!” you retort wildly as you lurch to your feet and lunge down the hall. “FLY, YOU FOOLS!

You’re faintly aware of people calling your name, but you have attention only for Pyonta, the Beast. Its vile miasma swells, choking you, and you know its wrath is about to blossom. Something small and fast slams into your knees, and you hit the floor hard, sliding a few feet.

“NO! NO!” you scream wildly, tearing at what you assume must be a tentacle.

“Stop, stop, stop!” Cirno wails through her tears, clutching your knees tightly. “It’s okay, I don’t have a hat, you’re safe, just listen to me!”

You push yourself to your feet and make to stumble away, Cirno still latched to your knees, but Meiling bars the way, standing firm in the center of the hallway. Your eyes fly to her hat, and you suddenly realize you can’t trust her, can’t trust any of them, for they are servants of Pyonta, thralls of the God-Hat.

You are surrounded.

You tear a wand from your pocket with great speed and point it at Meiling, who stands her ground. You hear footsteps coming from behind you and lurch about to menace Suwako and Duke with your weapon. Somebody approaches from behind and you spin about again to ward off Meiling, then back to Suwako and Duke, then back again. Soon you’re spinning wildly as you babble with incoherent terror, feet blurring in a little tapdance because Cirno’s still pinning your knees.

“RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIIIIVES!” you howl, suddenly halting your spin and leveling the wand at Suwako. “RUN AWAY WHILE IT EATS ME! IT’S YOUR ONLY HOPE!”

The blonde goddess advances, bearing upon her brow Pyonta, Ur-Hat with a thousand minions. Its eyes glower with dark wrath, and you know it means to destroy you. You’re surrounded, and mere feet away from the Abomination, borne ever-closer by its dominated servant. A God that masters Gods. What chance do you have?

Your wand tumbles from nerveless fingers.

You’re out of time.

Strong arms seize you from behind, pinning your limbs. A hand silences your scream.

“Shush,” Meiling murmurs into your ear. “Nobody’s going to hurt you. You’re safe. Just take a deep breath, okay?” Taking deep breaths is kind of hard with Meiling’s arms compressing your ribcage, but you’re in no position to object. At least you’ll have a few seconds to enjoy the redhead’s unique geometries before you’re eaten by a pseudonatural abomination that will digest you for all eternity.

So much for that cup-half-full bullshit.

“Hey, trooper,” Suwako says softly, removing Pyonta from her brow. She tilts the vile creature this way and that, showing it to you, before gently tossing it behind her. “It’s just a hat, honey. And you’re surrounded by friends.”

“MMMMM!” you exclaim through Meiling’s hand, watching as Pyonta’s eyes slowly rise above the line of Suwako’s shoulder.

Duke steps forward and drops one huge hand on your shoulder. “You need fear nothing while I stand by you, old friend,” Duke says reassuringly. “I shall stand ever vigilant against any foe, be it human or hat. None shall dine upon you.”

“MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!” you howl into Meiling’s hand, struggling in vain against the gate-guard’s iron grip, eyes wide. Your angle is just right to see the shadows shifting behind Suwako’s legs.

“That’s right!” Cirno says firmly, eyes still wet. “I’m the strongest, and I won’t let anything get close enough to eEEEEP!” she shrieks as a slimy tentacle slides up her leg.

“Oh shi-” Suwako manages before the tentacle swings Cirno like a bat, smacking the little goddess in the kisser. The lolis go flying, crashing into the wall some distance down the hall. Duke twirls just in time to catch a blast of eldritch energy full in the face, knocking him clean off his feet. With your would-be protectors laid low, you can see Pyonta standing triumphant, borne upon dozens of tentacles emerging from its underside. The slimy appendages slowly weave and dance as the God-Hat rises to its full height.

“I AM... MADE... MANIFEST!”

Meiling lets out a truly terrific shriek directly into your left ear and releases you. Slithering tentacles advance, prompting Meiling to shriek again and firmly clamp her knees together. She retreats at a brisk hop, holding her dress down with both hands.

Pyonta turns its horrid gaze upon you, and you have one long second to contemplate the horror of its true form revealed before a writhing mass of tentacles flicks towards you. You duck adroitly as the appendages slam into the wall above your head with tremendous force. You apply the age-old maxim “I don’t have to outrun the tentacle monster, I just have to outrun the lolis” and go tear down the hall, screaming incoherently as the slapslapslap of Pyonta’s many tentacles pursues you.

About then you remember you’re a wizard, and that you should use MAGIC. You scream the first spell that comes into your head with the scant breath you’re not using for flight. No sooner are the words out of your mouth then your feet shoot out from under you and you go tumbling ass-over-teakettle down the corridor. A split second later, a terrible eldritch scream echoes through your soul:

“FUUUUUUUUUUU-”

And then a thoroughly-grease-coated Pyonta slams into you and together you go hurtling down the corridor.

“FRIIIICTION HAS NO POWWWWER HERREEEE!” you comment. “PHYSICS GOOOO HOOOME GENSYOKO FOR MAGICIAAAAAAAANNNNNSSSSS!” Your hands grasp sadly for the pole of a nonexistant protest sign. Just as you open your mouth to call for the downfall of tyrannical natural law, the Wizonta cannonball smashes full-force though a set of double doors.

Heavy double-doors.

There’s a brief impression of hurtling through a vault-like chamber, majestic weightlessness, perfect grace, BONE-JARRING HYPERPAINFUL SOLID IMPACT WITH WOOD OH FUCK THE PAIN-

-and now we’re falling-

WHAM!

Silence.

You take a second to count your limbs and come up with twenty-three, which seems about right. Turning your head, you see you’re sprawled upon a huge, toppled bookshelf.

“Please wait till the story has come to a full and complete stop, then exit at the rear of the nearest librarian,” you instruct calmly. “If you wish to contact the Shoggoth, knives and live goats are available at the circulation desk.”

With that little matter taken care of, you try sitting up. There’s a crystalline, clashing commotion above, and you look up, where you see Pyonta slowly untangling its tentacles from an elaborate chandelier. Finally freeing itself, you hear a gut-wrenching gurgle of satisfaction, immediately followed by a horrified SKREEEEEEEEEEEEE as it realizes its altitude. The abomination slams into the floorboards about thirty feet away, making the scattered books bounce.

With difficultly, you stagger upright upon aching knees. Pyonta laboriously pulls itself up upon its tentacles. The Beast turns its horrid eyes upon you, but seems to have trouble focusing, the pupils lazily circling the whites.

Your innate predator’s instincts, buried deep in the subconscious from when Man first walked upright out of the dark forests, sings to you. Not even the taint of madness can corrupt that. Your enemy is weak - now is the time to strike! Strike with your biggest boom! BOOM GOOD!

Your chaotic thoughts coalesce around the gravitas of this idea. You need big! BIG! BIG! Thrusting your finger in Pyonta’s general direction, you cast Summon Monster VI, calling the largest beast you can think of.

A blast of ozone ruffles your robe, a sharp POP! as the interdimensional rift opens. Pyonta’s circling pupils have just managed to steady on you, and his tentacles are rallying for a lunge-

WHAM!

-when the whale lands.

Silence.

A few stray tentacles sticking out from under the whale twitch spasmodically, but the huge creature doesn’t budge.

Some seconds later Suwako appears at the door, peering around the corner cautiously. She takes in the scene for a moment.

“Are... you okay?”

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Hey, Suwako!”

“What?” she says, shrinking behind the doorframe a bit.

“It was SUUUUUPER EFFECTIVE!” You clutch your hands to your chest and giggle madly.

“..... right,” Suwako says meekly. “Uh, good job, champ.”

“Zippity!” you agree, and promptly collapse. As the rest of your companions come running, your thoughts swirl aimlessly...



(Vote for one option in each “category,” separated by the asterisks! Pick the unique blend of mental fallout you wish for! NONE of this is permanent, the trauma will wear off soon.)


[ ] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[ ] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!

****
[ ] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[ ] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL

****
[ ] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
[ ] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

>> No. 133879
[x] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
-[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
--[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133880
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

This is some weird shit that's going on.
>> No. 133881
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133882
[X] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

We just beat a god; celebrate a little bit!
>> No. 133883
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

Before we start blasting it, we'd have to get the whale off of it.
>> No. 133884
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

Explanations are good. I could do with a few of those right now. Also, foe is dead. We are mighty wizarda nd we do kick this sort of arse every day - no need to flip out about it.
>> No. 133885
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!

Quick! While it's weak, whale on it more!

[x] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL

ZUUUL BITCHES ZUUUUUUL

[x] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

Obviously this is the best use of Magic Missle: blasting Hats off Touhous.
>> No. 133886
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.

[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] "So next time I tell you the hat is an eldritch abomination LISTEN TO THE WIZARD."
>> No. 133887
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[x] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133888
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

And since we seemed so concerned about observing proper library etiquette earlier:

[X] We are in a LIBRARY! We need to observe proper library etiquette and be QUIET! Cast Mass Reduce Person to ensure that all our voices are TINY!
>> No. 133891
Oh good lord.

[x] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133892
File 129635747617.png - (54.73KB , 214x614 , 1296237433212.png ) [iqdb]
133892
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[x] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[x] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!
>> No. 133893
[x] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
-[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
--[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133894
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

Wizard does not need food. Wizard needs Coffee!
>> No. 133895
wat
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133897
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

-

Defeating unholy monsters is business as usual for McWizardington, but much more so for ZUUL.

Also, unholy hat conspiracy!
>> No. 133898
[x] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133899
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

I miss ZUUL. He Should make another appearance.
>> No. 133900
[x] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133901
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

Well, thankfully we did not fail our SAN check on that one, even if we failed the Courage check. And now, the second most fun part of a X-Com game: Interrogations.

Because What the Fuck Suwako?! The feeble Gods of Earth should know better then to harbour Great Old Ones, even if they are "protected" by Nyarlatothep from GOO influence and taint.

Obviously, if a Goddess could be fooled, no hat can be trusted. Except the Wizard's hat, but as a sign of solidarity with the others' plight, the Wizard will go hatless as well. The third most entertaining part of X-Com: Rampant paranoia and precautions. Because FUCK CHRYSSALIDS!

I wish updates would come faster, but quality does demand time. On the other hand, we do have a consensus relatively fast, making the pace unbearable at times compared to the beginning of this adventure. And this time, the options do not seem to have far reaching consequences regarding personal relationships. Rambling, pay no mind.
>> No. 133905
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133906
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL

I don't really care what the other two options end up being but ZUUL MUST BE MADE MANIFEST TO COUNTER THE HORROR THAT IS PYONTA MANIFEST
>> No. 133908
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
..... But no need to go full-on Inquisitor for this. Just ask nicely but firmly.


... Crap, the answer is going to end up being faith, isn't it? It's because Wizanon McMagus was freaking out over hats and suspecting them of EEEBULL! that this sort of thing happened, innit?
>> No. 133909
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133910
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133911
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[x] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133913
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!

I'm worried about calling ourselves ZUUL too much. We don't need a "Adahn" incident.
>> No. 133914
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!


A Mind Blank may be in order, juuuust in case this was all just some bizarre hallucination brought about by some malicious third party, in which case the wizard just flipped out and dropped a large marine mammal on an oddly decorated straw hat for no reason.
>> No. 133915
This was awesome.

[x] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[x] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133916
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
****
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
****
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133917
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

Hats are the enemy!
>> No. 133918
[ ] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[ ] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[ ] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133923
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!
>> No. 133927
>>133906
This, except
[X] I AM BECOME ZUUL, HERALD OF HATNAROK
>> No. 133931
>>133927
This. This is awesome.
[X] I AM BECOME ZUUL, HERALD OF HATNAROK
>> No. 133934
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133936
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[X] I AM BECOME ZUUL, HERALD OF HATNAROK
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133937
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133938
File 129641376558.jpg - (316.63KB , 1100x1267 , 45889406ac3d13b8b90ac080caeed5a3.jpg ) [iqdb]
133938
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
inb4 ctuhulu
>> No. 133939
>In desperation, you once reached out to touch the minds of distant deities, lurking in shattered dimensions far beyond the Outer Planes of the Great Wheel.
Far Realm?

[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133940
>>133908

If wizanon can single-headedly believe Pyonta real, the goddesses are going to do their best to keep him.

Also:
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation
>> No. 133941
>Crap, the answer is going to end up being faith, isn't it? It's because Wizanon McMagus was freaking out over hats and suspecting them of EEEBULL! that this sort of thing happened, innit?

I don't think any of Pyonta Rampage really happened. More likely wizard mind lost remaining connection with reality for few moments. Just look at Suwako reaction:

>“..... right,” Suwako says meekly. “Uh, good job, champ.”
>> No. 133942
>>133941
Meiling's reaction when we meet up with her next time will tell us exactly how much of it was imagined, since if it really did happen, she will now forever associate us with tentacle rape.

In fact, she would still be here with the group trying to keep us in her iron grip if it didn't happen, since I don't imagine her wanting to run off to find help from Sakuya or Remilia when there's a ravaging mad wizard on the loose. She could have told Cirno to go find Keine instead, if more familiar faces were needed to calm us down.
>> No. 133943
>>133941
What if many people already imagined weird things about the hat and the wizard was the last bit needed for it to gain sentience?
>> No. 133949
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Cast Mind Blank.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133959
[X] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

I want to see a insane wiznon running around blasting hats.
>> No. 133960
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133961
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[x] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[x] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
>> No. 133967
File 129649674419.jpg - (312.67KB , 1100x1267 , whale wut.jpg ) [iqdb]
133967
Dem votes, man, dem votes:

SET 1:
SANE[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]
CRAZY[XXXXXXXXXX]
****************
SET 2:
SANE[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]
CRAXY[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]
**************
SET 3:
SANE[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]
CRAZY[XXXXXXXX]


Looks like everybody's ready for a sudden bout of sanity.

For now.
>> No. 133968
Damn it.
>> No. 133969
>>133967

There is no sanity, only lesser degrees of madness.
>> No. 133971
Gentlemen, I propose an addendum to previous votes.

[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.

Poor girl was crying in fear at the beginning of this while trying to calm us down. And we've been forgetting her lately. She needs a hug to remind her that the Wizard does care.
>> No. 133972
>>133969
We shall be sane amongst the insane.
We shall be rationality amongst madness.
>> No. 133974
[x] Menace with Evan's spiked tentacles of forced intrusion. While horror is still hot.
>> No. 133975
[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.

I agree with him
>> No. 133976
>>133882 here, adding to my vote
[X] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.
>> No. 133977
Cirno needs some damn love.
[X] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.
>> No. 133978
The vote was already counted guys.

But meh, whatever.

[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.
[x] Then cast that damn Mind Blank spell already.
>> No. 133979
[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.

You can't forget the huuuuuuug.
>> No. 133980
[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.

Truth! I vote that this be included somehow
>> No. 133983
[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.
No clue which one was mine. Just pick one and add this to it.
>> No. 133984
[x]Cast Mind Blank
[x]give Cirno a Hug
>> No. 133985
>>133940 here
add
[x] give Cirno a hug. Believe in the power of hugs, like how you believe in the power of evil hats.
>> No. 133986
[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.
>> No. 133988
File 129653179199.png - (0.99MB , 900x900 , mokou.png ) [iqdb]
133988
surprised we havnt met mokou yet considering how much we've been hanging around Kiene.
>> No. 133989
>>133969

THERE IS NO SANITY, ONLY LESSER DEGREES OF ZUUL!
>> No. 133990
>>133988
We'll meet her soon at this rate, givne what's happened. And we had better give her a good impression as she'll help fix things after McWizard does something stupid.
>> No. 133992
>>133989

SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK!!!
>> No. 133994
>>133990
I wouldn't worry about making a good first impression; Cirno will just ruin it by telling Mokou that Wizard stares at Keine's ass.
>> No. 133996
>>133994
Depending on how Demetrious' Mokou is, she may be offended or she'd take it in good humor as she knows Keine's got a very womanly figure.
>> No. 133997
>>133989
>>133992
I concur. As does my friend Francis, the purple mango.

We need ZUUL, guys. Without ZUUL we shall surely perish in the oncoming Hatpocalypse.
>> No. 133998
File 129654639817.jpg - (23.66KB , 450x336 , sadwhale.jpg ) [iqdb]
133998
I will vote for giving Cirno a hug IF we also end up giving the whale a hug too.

The whale has no water. I think that makes it sad and deserving of a hug as well.
>> No. 133999
Are you insane fool?

THE HAT IS THE MIND BREAKER! It is made of FEAR! And fear breaks the MIND!
>> No. 134000
Whether or not ZUUL won, it was close enough that it'd be cool to see at least a reference to ZUUL, even if we don't go entirely down that path in the snippet.
>> No. 134001
>>133999
Broken things have sharp edges. We'll stab the hats with our brain. BRAIN SHIVS.
>> No. 134003
ZUUL is good trick for confusing opponents. It's not good for making decisions.
>> No. 134005
>The whale has no water. I think that makes it sad and deserving of a hug as well.

No, it's cool. Summon monster comes with a time limit. It should return to the Pseudo-elemental Plane of Awesome before Sakuya decides to put 'celestial whale steaks' on tonight's menu.
>> No. 134007
>>133937
One of these anyway
[x] Give Cirno a goddamn hug.
>> No. 134009
>No, it's cool. Summon monster comes with a time limit. It should return to the Pseudo-elemental Plane of Awesome before Sakuya decides to put 'celestial whale steaks' on tonight's menu.

Yes, there is that. But that's still like being summoned to the top of a mountain to squish an ant for someone. Not liable to kill you, but still uncomfortable for a few minutes.

Plus, whale hugs are the best kind. Forget sanity! Who doesn't want to hug a whale? I bet everyone in the library right now wants to hug a whale. Whales are HUGE! That means they have HUGE HUGS!
>> No. 134014
i warned you about hats bro, i told you dog

[X]give cirno a fucking hug added on to whatever sanity option wins
>> No. 134017
[ ] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[ ] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[ ] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!
[ ] Cirno gets a BIG FUCKING HUG
>> No. 134018
>>134009

I suppose it is left to this humble Anon to suggest the potential that the corrupting power of PYONTA might infect the Whale and wear it like a [Collosal] blubbery glove.
>> No. 134021
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
[X] Cirno gets a BIG FUCKING HUG
>> No. 134022
I think the votes were called with Deme's post.
>> No. 134037
[x] Get up and dance madly upon your vanquished foe, after blasting it a few more times!
[x] THERE IS NO WIZARD THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
[x] Suwako was under Pyonta’s sway! The other hats may yet be its thralls!

There is no way multiple goddesses, shrine maidens, magicians, and powerful youkai would not notice an eldritch abomination. Destroy all the hats.
>> No. 134040
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!
[X] Cirno gets a BIG FUCKING HUG
>> No. 134097
hey demetrious, how much longer do you think we have till we reach end game, because come on, as awesome as this story is, its gotta end sometime right?
>> No. 134150
File 129682171070.jpg - (42.02KB , 1024x768 , neverendingstory.jpg ) [iqdb]
134150
>hey demetrious, how much longer do you think we have till we reach end game, because come on, as awesome as this story is, its gotta end sometime right?

Looking on story list there are many stories on this site much longer than one written by Demetrious. Not to mention that few threads have 1-2 updates.
>> No. 134169
>>134150
Flashfoward to June (and 20 threads later)...
"So, are we gonna fix that problem we had with Keine over her hat? Cause it's been lingering for some time..."
"Oh, calm down, in story it's only the end of the 5th day McWizard's been in Gensokyo."
>> No. 134275
File 129704367675.jpg - (490.65KB , 1157x1075 , pyonta tentacles.jpg ) [iqdb]
134275
[X] Get up and casually pretend you kick this kind of ass every day. It’s not far from the truth.
[X] Your mind is still knocked cockeyed from that bizarre encounter, but essentially unchanged.
[X] Suwako was obviously harboring an alien abomination upon her brow. Demand an explanation!


Your consciousness slowly rises, shaking off cloying confusion like clumps of mud. A vibrant yet unordered memory swirls about your cranium; stygian horror madly juxtaposed with comical nonsense. The kind of random bullshit typical of dreams, yes?

Just a dream. You shake your head dizzily and sit up with great effort, clutching at your pain-wracked dome.

Okay, perhaps a blunt-trauma induced hallucination. But still.

“... shit.”

You turn towards the tremulous voice and see Suwako, Meiling, and Duke’s heads in a neat vertical progression peering around the door-jamb, expressions blank.

“What....” you shake your head dizzily. “The shit are you fuggin at. Looking. At. Yeah.”

Suwako regards you with stunned amazement.

You try to remember back before the dream. Keine, of course - oh shit.

“She buttheaded me to cumkingdo- kingdom. come,” you manage, focusing on enunciation. Terribly important, enunciation. Spells tend to go crackerjacks without it. Boots scrabbling for purchase on the smooth floor, you struggle upward to balance on shaky legs.

“Okay,” you slur unsteadily. “I think I’m okay.” There’s a hollow, wet slap to your side, and you turn to see the whale. It’s a handsome black-and-white beast, a good thirty feet long, and it’s regarding you with one doleful eye.

You drunkenly stumble over to the huge creature and pat its thick hide consolingly. “Haaaay dude, don’t look so sad,” you say encouragingly. “You can leeeearn tooo, swi~im be-eh-eh-ter!” you begin singing. The whale emits an unmistakable groan of exasperation. “Re-member~ to keep water under yer skin~ then you be-giiiin, to swim real bett~er!”

The whale groans louder and gently bumps you away with a leisurely bat of its flipper. Stumbling backwards, you trip over a tentacle and fall on your ass.

Somewhere in your mind, “whale” and “tentacles” leisurely drift together, and a circuit is completed.

It was real.

It was all real.

“Hello?” somebody says cautiously from behind you. You turn and see Meiling slowly advancing across the floor, her hands held out invitingly. “Are you okay?”

You merely point to the whale and its new acquaintance.

“Haaaahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha!”

“Are you okay?” Meiling asks again, a little more urgently.

“aaaaaahahahahaHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA-”

“Please stop,” Meiling grates, looking a bit freaked out.

-AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

“STOP!” Meiling yells, reaching towards you. Unfortunately for her, that’s the exact moment your mind, struggling to adapt to the new evidence, happens to overcorrect a wee bit.

“AWAY, FIEND!” you roar, springing to your feet, dagger flashing in your hand. Meiling yelps with surprise and leaps away. You circle sideways, in a low combat crouch, and the redhead braces for the attack. Your eyes narrow, and you size up your enemy.

“The master is slain,” you mutter, “but the servants remain. Walk away, woman. This is between Zuul and the hat.

Meiling blinks.

“Stooop~” you hear Cirno wail from the doorway. Despite the nearby hat-spawn, you glance towards the fairy. Cirno is stumbling awkwardly across the debris towards you.

“... Cirno?” you venture, tasting the name. “Cirno.”

She reaches you and falls against your leg, hugging it tightly. “I th-thought the h-h-haaaat-” she wails, unable to finish. You notice a large lump swelling up on her cranium.

“Cirno!” you exclaim, plucking her from your leg to envelop her in a bear hug. “Don’t cry, I’ll- uh- MEDIC!” you exclaim. Clutching the sobbing fairy to your chest, you remember the first time you saw her – she was the first person in Gensyoko you met. With one tug at that memory, all the rest with Keine and Cirno come cascading behind it, and soon the spinning sensation in your head subsides.

“Shhhsh,” you coo to the fairy. “I’m fine. You’re fine.” Looking over her shoulder, you spot Duke loitering attentively, doggish concern on his stern face. “Duke, could you...?”

He nods, laying one huge hand on Cirno’s cranium to cast Aid. Part of the spell involves a minor healing enchantment, something beyond even the mightiest of your arcane magics. The lump on Cirno’s head slowly vanishes, and her sobbing abates to sniffles.

“Is he back to normal?” you hear Suwako ask cautiously.

“Normal for him, or for everybody else?” Meiling mutters.

“Are you feeling better?” Duke asks you directly.

“Ia! Ia!” chant tinny voices. Looking for them, you see a growing ring of tiny fairies around the whale, dancing in lock-step. “Pyonta F’thagn!” Ia! Ia!...

“.... I was,” you say dourly.

“I don’t want to interrupt anything,” Meiling interjects, “but what the fuck IS that thing!?” She glances over at the weakly twitching tentacles and her knees lock together automatically.

“I have no idea,” Suwako says. “I can’t begin to-”

“Beep beep beep beep beep,” you interject.

“What?”

“BULLSHIT ALARM!” you roar at her. “I know exactly what it is.”

Suwako cocks her head, and a glint creeps into her eyes. “I doubt that. Greatly.

“THAT-” you thrust your finger at the whale and its victim- “is a pseudonatrual abomination from the very fringes of logical space-time dimensions.”

“... Far Realms?” Duke breathes faintly.

“Or thereabouts,” you confirm.

Suwako leans forward a bit, staring up at you with piercing blue eyes. “How would you know?”

“Are you dense? I’m a goddamn Wizard!” you declare, throwing your arms in the air with great melodrama, your robe billowing dramatically. “And I have fought these things before.”

“Which explains your courageous headfirst retreat,” Suwako snaps back defensively, “and your brilliant summoning spell.” She jerks her thumb at the whale. “You just got lucky.”

“It’s called ‘Summon Bigger Fish,’ for your information,” you retort primly. “And that’s really the only way you can fight them. I mean, just contemplating them causes your mind to shatter. All you’ve got motivating you is your fighting instinct competing with your fear at a primal level. But you can’t cast spells without your rational mind, so what you do is, like...” you make a jabbing motion in the air; “you pick up the pointy pieces of your brain and you shank ‘em, see?”

Suwako’s icy visage melts as her cheeks heat with a blush. She bites her lip and looks off to one side, looking rather embarrassed.

“Well, damn,” she mutters, looking for all the word like a schoolgirl caught in a lie. “You do know.”

Suwako’s rapid shift of fronts makes you realize just how cold she’d been before, and just how brusquely you’d been telling her off. You rub your head, chagrined. You’re still a little off-kilter, and the thundering headache isn’t helping any.

“I didn’t really want to admit it,” Suwako says uncomfortably, rubbing the back of her head nervously and looking off to one side. “But...”

“But what?” Meiling presses.

“It’s just a baby!” the goddess protests meekly. “He never causes any trouble!”

“A baby!? you exclaim with disbelief.

“It’s like a pet, okay!?” Suwako objects. “He must have known you recognized him, and considered you a threat. His kind is very secretive.”

You bury your face in your palm.

“Please stop talking.”

“Sorry,” she replies meekly.

You sit down on the end of a toppled bookshelf and cradle your pounding head in your hands. First Keine, now this. Your day hasn’t had a terribly auspicious start. On the plus side, you’ve finally reached the library.

.... wait.

“Where’s the librarian!?” you say suddenly.

A plaintive moan drifts up from beneath the shelving.

“Oh shit,” you breathe, and scramble to the other end of the bookshelf. Duke leaps to your aid, and the two of you strain to lift the massive construction, but can only lift the side off the ground.

“Move over, boys!” Meiling says as she steps in. With one mighty heave from the shapely redhead, the three of you are able to flip the heavy shelf over and off its victim. Underneath you discover Patchouli, laying motionless on the floor with a nasty purple bruise covering half her head. She’s surrounded by a nest of messily-stacked tomes, which is probably what saved her from being squashed flat.

“Oh shit,” you breathe. “I killed a librarian. Shiiiiiiit.

“Oh,” Meiling says, tugging on her braids nervously. “Oh no! What do we do!?”

You look around hastily and espy a dented teapot sitting on the floor near Patchouli. Seizing it, you open the lid, verify the contents, and hurl them upon Patchy’s face.

She coughs and sputters.

“She’s alive!” Cirno exclaims.

Slowly the magician’s eyes struggle open. She stares upon you with equal parts horror and hate.

”She’s pissed,” amends Cirno.

Patchouli’s eyelids flutter, and her breathing hitches.

“She’s really banged up,” Meiling worries. “Should we...?”

“Suwako?” you say. “Could you, maybe...?”

Suwako shakes her head. “She’s a natural magician. They’re a bit different; you can’t just lay-on-hands with them. We’d need some of Erin’s stuff, or some pretty elaborate rituals.”

“We should go for help,” Meiling insists. “Oh no I’m going to be in so much trouble...


[ ] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!

[ ] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

[ ] Write-in?
>> No. 134276
File 129704395142.png - (2.40KB , 119x120 , avatar.png ) [iqdb]
134276
I've been without internet for about a week, and that won't change till the 10 or 11th or so. And the roads have been absolute shit for three days now, making it hard to drive to a restaurant with free Wi-Fi access.

So, yeah. WHARRRRGABLLLLLL

>>134169

I know you're chomping at the bit to get back to the Keine plot. Don't worry, it's coming back shortly, no matter how the votes go. In Soviet Gensyoko, plot finds you.
>> No. 134277
>>134276
Mostly just a Beckett-ian comment on the progression of things since arriving in the SDM. Which makes glaciers look fast, but that seems to be the curse of the SDM on THP.
No accusation towards you nor the story... although Anon and his ADHD problems might be targeted somewhat.

>>134275
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

With 20 ranks in Alchemy, we should be able to make her a potion that makes her feel so healthy that Grandfather Nurgle would be disgusted by her.
And I refuse to believe that the DC for a healing potion is higher then what is easily reachable with rank 20.
>> No. 134278
[ ] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Holy balls, that was wonderful
>> No. 134279
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
>> No. 134280
[X] Hell no. Patching up Patchouli is your last chance to improve her opinion of you. You also didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain.

Rearranged for priority. I also feel somewhat sad for Suwako's pet eldritch horror, whatever it was. If only senseless paranoia hadn't gotten in the way, we might have studied it and found a way to counteract it's effect on the mind.
>> No. 134281
[x] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!
>> No. 134282
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Cirno is an adorable ball of love.
>> No. 134283
[x] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!

I wonder why a magician type can't be healed with normal magic... one'd think healing magic would work easier on them. Not as if they they're undeadish vampires.

But having said that, it might be better to have a professional do this. He's a Wizard, not a Cleric or Paladin.
>> No. 134284
>>134283
It might be they're resistant to all magic because they can eat magic.
>> No. 134286
As a relative DnD noob, is it possible for us to quickly summon something-or-the-other that can drop a higher-level healing spell on her? No idea if Heal counts as an "elaborate ritual", but it might be worth a try if the Alchemy Option doesn't work out.
>> No. 134287
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Calling for Eirin might be less risky, and it does open up interaction with the Eientei household and possibly Mokou, but it will sidetrack us A LOT and take up a lot of time. We have some fairly decent skill in alchemy, in fact max level alchemy for a level 17 wizard's class skill, so we may as well put it to use considering it's for situations like this that we put points into the skill in the first place.
>> No. 134288
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
>> No. 134289
Wizanon could, if Demetrious is being flexible, actually know some healing spells. Specifically some from the Cure ______ Wounds line.

Here's how:
>Bards cast arcane spells
>Bards can cast some Cure spells
>Bard takes Scribe Scroll & scribes a scroll of some sort of Cure spell
>Wizard obtains said scroll & learns the spell from it

Alas, tis undoubtedly naught but a pipe dream.
>> No. 134290
>>134287
And like the whole library non-sense wouldn't? We still have the ghost matter to get to the bottom of. And This would be the very first time the Wizard made something to heal something not so human.
>> No. 134291
>She’s a natural magician. They’re a bit different; you can’t just lay-on-hands with them.
This is sort of one of the reasons we memorized Limited Wish in the first place, isn't it? It has a bunch of uses, and "I really need to heal myself/someone right now and can't find a capable cleric!" is one of them. Natural magician, can't zap with Cure seems like a bit of an arbitrary reason to be unable to accept magical healing. Or is it just Suwako's healing that won't work? Because I'm not really seeing it. It wouldn't cure the chronic ailments she has, obviously, but Cures are generally pretty good at fixing "walloped by something big and heavy", as a general rule.

>Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
Genius thinking! Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan!

[X]Go find Eirin, who happens to be an actual healer.

The whole Wizard Is Awesome! thing is great, yeah, but maybe the best time to be experimenting with potions is not when someone is seriously injured. Especially given how much SAN Loss we've been taking lately.

But then again, sure, we could just go ahead with potionmaking. After all, everything ELSE we've done so far on the spur of the moment has turned out just peachy, hasn't it? No lasting bad effects at all.
>> No. 134292
>>134290
Considering the diversity of D&D and the fact that healing potions work on almost every goddamned thing that flies, walks or crawls (or swims even) in the setting, I humbly suggest that a rank 20 Alchemist could very well provide the minutes alterations needed to produce a health potion of optimum efficiency.
>> No. 134293
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

What bothers me most is the fact that Suwako was able to remain relatively sane while harbouring a cosmic horror on her head for She knows how long.
>> No. 134294
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
Let's hope for the best
>> No. 134295
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Improving opinions is good. Meeting that insufferable bitch of a doctor is bad.
>> No. 134296
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

>>134293
It took a form she was comfortable with.
>> No. 134297
[X]Go find Eirin, who happens to be an actual healer.
>> No. 134299
[X] Let's split up gang! Duke, get EIRIN~~~~ while I throw potions at her.
>> No. 134300
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles.

How could there be any other choice. I do hope the Librarian's assistant comes around
>> No. 134302
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Wizard is sure to wake up in an Eientei bed someday. He'll be forced to bow down to Eirin's skill then.
>> No. 134303
[ ] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
>> No. 134304
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.


Bonus points if the concoction to be brewed gets her drunk.
>> No. 134305
>>134295
I don't recall running into Eirin in this story, so how can you know that she's a massive bitch?
>> No. 134307
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Plus, Healing Salve heals 1d6+1 damage for only fifty gold and is an Alchemy item Dc 15 to create.
>> No. 134308
File 129705720891.jpg - (5.11KB , 212x191 , thomas_grin.jpg ) [iqdb]
134308
>but maybe the best time to be experimenting with potions is not when someone is seriously injured. Especially given how much SAN Loss we've been taking lately.
>Genius thinking! Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan!

Nothing at all.
>> No. 134314
Have we even met erin?
>> No. 134317
Isn't he still carting around those unidentified potions from the airship wreckage? Might be time to grit one's teeth and ID them, could have something that could help already on hand.

Err, if he's bothered to pack some ID spells, today, at least.
>> No. 134318
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

20 ranks in Alchemy is nothing to sneeze at.
We won't be making shit like the Hourai Elixir but we can definitely handle this.
>> No. 134319
>>134305
Trusting my gut. I don't think I've ever seen an Eirin that I liked, in any story, doujin, comic, whatever.

>>134308
...though that is worrying...
>> No. 134320
>>134308
That's Gordon you silly billy.
>> No. 134324
>>134317
Nevermind this, forgot ID had a one hour cast time. While he could, potentially, sample the potions to try to figure out what they are in a more timely fashion, it'd probably be better to wait for the situation/the wizard's head to stabilize before trying anything delicate. So...

[x] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!

You can offer to help clean up the mess, at least.
>> No. 134325
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
>> No. 134328
>>134319
There are exceptions, even if they're rare. Best not to call anyone a bitch until they prove they really are a bitch.

An example of such an exception would be SLDT's Yukari, a break from all the monsterous or aloof chessmasters.
>> No. 134333
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
[x]CAST THE GODDAMN MIND BLANK ALREADY.
>> No. 134337
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles.

As long as it's "no...it's ok. I got this." instead of "stand aside mortals while the master works!" at least. And Suwako can handle eldritch abominations because she's not a puny mortal creature - she is a god after all. They're made of sterner stuff.
>> No. 134339
[X] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!
[X]Cast the mind blank

I think that experimenting with Alchemy wont end well. Especially considering that Patchouli species reacts different to healing magic. Erin on other hand has experience with healing youkai.
>> No. 134343
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

>>134275
>We’d need some of Erin’s stuff
>HELP ME, ERIN!
Erin Freeman who was Honshuu Freeman's sister was one day a clinic

>>134295
>Meeting that insufferable bitch of a doctor is bad.
Gosh yes, because she is always the same in every story here and all authors totally have exactly the same portrayal of her every time and she's always terrible.

...Or maybe that was a dumb thing to say, and you should fucking wait until you see what Demetrious' Eirin is like before you go off shooting your mouth. "Trusting your gut" doesn't mean a single fucking thing on this site when it comes to characterization.

>>134319
>I don't think I've ever seen an Eirin that I liked, in any story, doujin, comic, whatever.
All that means is you haven't read enough.
>> No. 134351
[X] Hell no. Patching up Patchouli is your last chance to improve her opinion of you. You also didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain.
[X] CAST MIND BLANK
>> No. 134353
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

I don't have a problem with Eirin, but it would be nice if we could fix this on our own. Who knew Suwako had levels in Alienist?
>> No. 134359
>>134343
This. So much this. Cirno is the one character that I border on actively disliking in Touhou - and Dem turned her into this adorable ball of fluff that I can't help but like. Probably worth letting him take a crack at it before deciding you're going to hate it.
>> No. 134361
Summon Bigger Fish? REALLY? BRB, ROFL.

...

Back, if somewhat dusty, I need to clean that floor...

[X] Cast damned Mind Blank already
[X] Then decide that playing with alchemy in such situation is calling for trouble... HELP ME ERIN!
>> No. 134365
20 ranks in Alchemy is an obscene level of skill. I would honestly not be surprised if McWizard was _better_ than Eirin with that many ranks. Eienstein was probably level 4...level 6 at most: how's rank 7 or 9 physics looking? Impressive - that's how it looks. D&D 3.5 skill rank benchmarks pass into the supernatural at around rank 11.

McWizard is rank 20. With exceedingly high intelligence (low wisdom notwithstanding). He _can_ do this. And he can do it flawlessly.
>> No. 134367
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

Mind Blank is probably already in effect, guys. We did recover, after all.

...mostly.

Anyway. The alchemy skill does not produce any magical healing items. Keyword, magical. You need healing spells to make healing potions, as opposed to making substances which heal. Subtle but real difference.
>> No. 134368
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

I want this to go horribly wrong.
>> No. 134370
>>134365

McWizard is rank 20. Which means that he can easily botch check of 40 for shit and giggles. And I suspect situational modifiers are at least 6 if not outright 10.
>> No. 134372
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
>> No. 134374
[X] Send someone to get Erin, and in the mean time, try to help her any way you can- use items or your Alchemy skills to help ease the pain- your not a trained healer, so just do the best you can.
[X] After she gets better, offer her some of your spell scrolls/books as peace offering.

... Why doesn't he have a Potion of Cure _____ wounds? He should have at least one of those on his person. Or a ring of Regeneration, at the least.
>> No. 134375
[X] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!

What the hell, Anon? The MC has no fucking clue as to why magicians can't take normal healing, so you're going to play "Does this potion work?" Someone's injured, this is no time for bad science!
>> No. 134383
>>134375
IT'S ALWAYS TIME FOR SCIENCE!~
>> No. 134384
>>134375
She's a youkai. Bad health or no, she'll be fine in the morning.
>> No. 134385
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.

With any luck this way lies amusement.
>> No. 134386
Honestly, if Patchy's condition is series what makes any of you think we have TIME to go find Eirin anyway? It's not like she lives anywhere near the SDM. If you really want to play it safe, then the best course of action is to put our superb alchemy/knowledge skills to work as a stop-gap and to send someone fast to get Eirin.
>> No. 134387
>>134386
*serious
>> No. 134388
If Patchy dies, we could take whatever we like from the library without anyone being the wiser~
>> No. 134389
>>134388
Dick move, but practical. I approve.
>> No. 134390
>>134389
Perhaps also last move too, considering what Remilia will do once she hears about it.
>> No. 134391
>>134390
Not to mention Marisa, who's rather pissed at the Wizard as it is.
>> No. 134393
>>134343
I don't like your tone. At all.

I dunno. Demetrious hasn't been terribly original with his characterization of the Touhous. They're done very, very well, but they've also been more or less what I've come to expect from fanon. And I'm fine with that. That said, I don't really expect Demetrious to throw some curve ball and show me an Eirin I actually like.

HOWEVER, I will give her a chance, and >>134308 has me worried.

>>134295
Add [x]Send someone for Eirin or Eirin's "stuff."
>> No. 134397
File 129713354488.png - (25.25KB , 242x257 , 1292924835891.png ) [iqdb]
134397
>>134280
I don't think it's actually dead: Suwako is still referring to it in the present tense. It's just... very, very grappled.

>>134370
Under normal circumstances, you can't actually "botch" a skill check. Unless some of those potions are disguised and/or booby-trapped (e.g., spiked with a difficult-to-detect poison) the worst that can happen is that Wizanon learns that he has no clue what it is he's looking at.

I should also note that Demetrious has apparently gotten his rulesets crossed. While there was a separate "Alchemy" skill in 3.0e, it didn't make the cut for 3.5. Things that used to be Alchemy checks are now either Craft (alchemy) or Spellcraft.

The relevant rule in this case is that it's a DC 25 Spellcraft check to "Identify a potion. Requires 1 minute. No retry." http://www.d20srd.org/srd/skills/spellcraft.htm

Since Wizanon almost certainly has 20 ranks in Spellcraft, and is known to have an Int of at least 19, that's a +24 to the check right there. Discounting ... more interesting situations, he's literally incapable of failing that skill check, even if he rolls a 1.

On top of that, Suwako might be able to help here: if she can make a DC 50 Spellcraft check (which is the sort of thing some gods can do), she can identify a potion as a full-round action. Even if she can't, she seems to know things about PK that we don't, so her expertise on what not to do will be invaluable anyway.

As a digression, which will be relevant shortly: if Patchouli's resistance to healing is actually an insuppressible form of spell resistance, a Wizanon-cast limited wish likely won't work. SR still applies, even to an outright wish. A potion still would, though: "The drinker of a potion is both the effective target and the caster of the effect," so SR doesn't apply.

>>134391
Not to mention pretty much everyone else reading the story.

-----

Anyway, as for my vote:
[x] Ask Suwako if a limited local reality alteration would work... either by healing her directly, or by temporarily suppressing Patchy's SR so that either she or Duke can do the lay-on-hands thing. If so, do that.

Failing that, which is the more likely case,
[x] Both of the above -- send someone (preferably Ms. Time Stop At Will, if she's with us) for this "Erin" person, and in the meantime try to stabilize her with tisanes and tinctures and tourniquets and tangerine-tinged tea.
>> No. 134399
[X] You just smashed through her door while dueling a pseudonatrual abomination, interrupting her teatime with a bookcase to the head. Time to cut your losses. HELP ME, ERIN!

We're not a divine spellcaster. We can't just take a cup of water and throw a cure X wounds spell into it. We have to do things the hard way. Would the SDM even have the materials for an alchemical healing salve onhand? And even if they do happen to have materials that could be used to make a healing salve on hand, we might not be able to recognize their properties. We are from a different dimension, after all.
And even if we do have the materials, it will still take some time to make the salve.

I don't really see the advantage.
>> No. 134400
Uhhh alright, now I'm confused. Is "Erin" just a misspelling of "Eirin", or are they two different people here? 'Cause I've never heard of an Erin in Gensokyo.
>> No. 134403
>>134397
>I don't think it's actually dead

Hooray! After Patchouli is attended to, we must attempt a ceasefire of sorts with Suwako acting as a moderator.
>> No. 134406
>>134397
???
What are you talking about? It's not about identifying anything, it's about making NEW potion. And any DM worth playing under would roll on random effects table on botched check of making entirely new potion for healing unknown species. Also Craft (Alchemy) IS Alchemy skill.
>> No. 134407
File 129714334919.jpg - (67.54KB , 177x219 , that's so stupid i can't even see stra.jpg ) [iqdb]
134407
>>134406
>And any DM worth playing under would roll on random effects table on botched check of making entirely new potion for healing unknown species.
>> No. 134409
File 129714455537.jpg - (114.35KB , 550x366 , love-philtre - we've quantities of it.jpg ) [iqdb]
134409
>>134399
>>134406
I was going off of >>134317's note that we have unidentified fluid options in our trunk.

If that isn't true, then I dunno what alchemical options we have available either.

... also, what >>134407 said.
>> No. 134416
>>134407
Most ingredients are either outright poisonous in wrong doses or "just" unhealthy...
>> No. 134438
>>134416
And McWizard knows this because he literally has more knowledge of chemicals and compounds, species and races, than we can fathom in our life times.
>> No. 134439
>>134409
>we have unidentified fluid options in our trunk

Unidentified to us. Shouldn't their owner know what they do if he's gonna keep them?
>> No. 134440
Can we get a clarification on whether Wizanon is actually capable of making a potion or whatever to heal Patchy? I'm no D&D player, but 20 ranks sounds pretty damn skilled.
>> No. 134445
>>134440
20's more than skilled. For comparative purposes, imagine McWizard is a level 9 ranger and wants to do some tracking. He has 12 ranks in survival, 14 wisdom (for a +2), a +4 synergy bonus from other skills (search and nature) and a final +2 for some manner of tracking kit: +20 total. If he takes 10, he'll reach a DC of 30. What's a tracking DC of 30? That's successfully tracking a toad that's purposefully covering its tracks after an hour of rain fall over bare rock.

McWizard has 20 ranks in alchemy, at least +9 from his intellgence (to cast 9th level spells), possibly a few synergy bonuses (knowledge skills, spellcraft) and if he has alchemy tools in his dimensional pockets then add another couple points. So at least 29 before rolling, possibly higher. McWizard can, in all likelyhood, reliably hit DC40. That's _alot_
>> No. 134446
>>134445
To illustrate, DC40 means we could probably distill the concept of good health into a potion. We could make a Conceptual Potion, the alchemical equivalent of a Conceptual Weapon like Excalibur. And it would not be that hard.
>> No. 134447
Wizard has 21 intelligence(Demetrious posted character sheet few threads ago) which gives him +5 bonus to int based skill checks.
>> No. 134450
>>134447
We know McWizard's augmented intellience is at least +9 because he wouldn't be able to cast 9th level spells without that.
>> No. 134454
>>134450
You need 19 Intelligence to cast 9th level spells-In fact, I know gods that have less than 38 INT (+9)
>> No. 134455
>>134454
28 is +9. 38-39 is +14
>> No. 134456
>>134450
Wrong. Spellcasting requires that your casting stat be 10+(spell level), not the modifier. A wizard with 19 intelligence is capable of casting any spell he gets his hands on (other than Divine spells, anyway), while one with a 14 intelligence can only handle 4th level.
>> No. 134466
[x] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.
>> No. 134467
[x] Help me, Erin!

Patchy already thinks Mr. Wizard is full of shit. Now we've done enough property damage for her to understand that Mr. Wizard sits at the big kid's table during lunch.

Now it's time to impress her with our un-Touhou like ability to clean up after ourselves! While Patchy gets carted off for healing, volunteer to stay behind to clean up, possibly with help from Servant Horde (3rd level: 2d6+15 Unseen Servants like we used to clean the table with).

This has two benefits:
1) Suwako will be much better at explaining what just happened and Patchy will believe her when she says it wasn't all Mr.Wizard's fault.

2) We'll be alone. In the Library.
>> No. 134469
>>134467
The being nearly alone in the library convinced me, change my vote to this....
>> No. 134470
You know there are more important things than a bunch of books.
>> No. 134475
>>134470
>main character is a wizard
>said books are books about magic, entire library is a potential double goldmine of arcane secrets
Nice job under-emphasizing everything about the books aside from the fact that they're bunches of paper.
>> No. 134476
>>134470

Including the lovely librarian watching over them.
>> No. 134477
>>134475
Wizard isn't the type to ignore people in need of help and whatnot for the sake of power. He's a hero. No, really.
>> No. 134478
Yeah... but the resident goddess wants to take the librarian to the resident cleric for healing. Swooping in to heal her with alchemy (IF nothing goes wrong!) doesn't make McWizard a hero, just self-absorbed.

Yeah maybe you could teleport them, but going somewhere sight unseen has a non-negligable chance of making things worse.

Let's at least try to be a little more low key with this one, and defer to Suwako's judgement on this. Let's choose to trust the resident goddess, and let her take the lead.
>> No. 134480
>>134470

Patchouli: Get. Out. Of. My. Library. 「Royal Flare」
>> No. 134481
Hypothetically, how long would it take to fetch Eirin or some of Eirin's medicine? Hell, does Suwako have some on her?
>> No. 134487
>>134477
In the Greek sense, Wizard is a hero. Also, I was pointing out that the books aren't just books.
>> No. 134490
>>134478
The one who had an eldritch abomination. For a hat.
>> No. 134491
>>134490
Your point? That hardly means she isn't trustworthy or competent. It made me, for one, want to trust her even more.
>> No. 134492
>>134467

I concur with this gentleman, helping clean up would definitely show Patchy our caring and scholastic side.
>> No. 134494
File 129728718825.jpg - (125.97KB , 1280x854 , 1254336550161.jpg ) [iqdb]
134494
[X] Hell no. You didn’t put 20 ranks into Skill: Alchemy just for giggles. There’s no way you’re being dragged out of this library short of a Tarrasque with a tow-chain. And patching up Patchy is your last chance to improve her opinion of you.


No.

No, no, no, no, NO!

This was supposed to be simple – grab breakfast, visit the library, lose oneself in an orgasmic tide of new magical knowledge, and possibly check out the librarians ass. Nice and straightforward.

Instead you’ve just gotten into a terrible fight with the one woman in this insane asylum who actually enjoys your admittedly abrasive personality, been attacked by a hideous abomination that shattered your sanity, and THEN you brained the evil mistresses private tutor with her own freaking bookshelf.

It’s really no wonder the past hour has felt like three agonizing weeks. And now-

“There’s no goddamn way I’m diving out of one sorority madhouse and straight into another,” you declare. “There’s got to be a – wait. Keine. She can use her timehax bullshit on this!”

“Time... hax,” Duke says, sampling the slang cautiously.

“Yeah, something about manipulating history, recent events, some bullshit like that. She was able to handle my wounds for a while a few days ago. Long enough to send Cirno for medication, at any rate.” You stroke your chin, quickly plotting. “Okay, Meiling, if you would go find Keine, Duke, uh, watch Patchouli, and I’ll, um, hide.”

Duke heaves that heavy sigh particular to dogs and Hound Archons. “Really?”

“Really,” you confirm as you try to squeeze under the whale’s flipper for concealment.

“We need to get Patchy off the ground, at least,” Meiling insists. You give up with the flipper (it’s not big enough anyway) and go over to the victim to assist.

“Teatime~” a familiar, cool voice calls from the corridor. Sakuya steps in the doorway, and freezes, that icy little smile sliding clean off her face. She stares with wide eyes at your latest masterpiece, the post-modernist found-object sculpture “Whale with Eldrich Monstrosity,” and ever so slowly her dumbstruck stare slides over to the Wizard, with a Bookcase, in the Library.

You realize you’re bent over Patchouli, with your hands on her ankles.

“HER FAULT!” you shout, thrusting your finger at Suwako.

“Sure, blame the loli!” Suwako retorts, crossing her arms. “If you hadn’t displayed typical prey behavior by running like a little bitch-

“Suwako!” Sakuya hollers in horror. “I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR TEN MINUTES! TEN! MINUTES!” Her hand rises towards the goddess, making choking motions.

“It was Pyonta!” she cries. “You! Show her!”

The whale slaps its tail against the floor and gives you an exasperated look.

“Okay, okay,” you say, as much to the whale as Suwako. With a snap of your fingers, you dismiss the summoning spell, and the whale returns to its Celestial ocean. Freed, Pyonta struggles upwards on shaky tentacles, his huge googly eyes rolling around dizzily.

Suwako stalks over to her ‘pet,’ face red with embarrassment. “Bad Pyonta!” she scolds. “What were you thinking, attacking that poor man!? A guest of our neighbor, no less!?”

The Ur-Hat rumbles with a horrid subsonic sibilance that makes your stomach roil.

“I don’t care what he smells like, you don’t go eating people without my permission!” Suwako continues, bopping the hat between the eyes lightly. “And no loli-tossing and ESPECIALLY no grabby tentacles!

Pyonta, eyes still rolling, is too flummoxed to defend himself, and shrinks before the wrath of his master.

“Go to your ruins!” Suwako orders sternly, stomping her foot and pointing at the door. “And don’t give me any more lip if you want your sacrifices tonight!”

Thoroughly chastened, Pyonta slithers demurely out the door. With obvious distaste, Sakuya delicately steps over his trailing tentacles as he passes. She turns, leaning around the doorjamb to cautiously watch the scolded abomination sulk away down the corridor.

Slowly, Sakuya turns to the blonde goddess.

“What the hell was that!?

Coming from a maid who can fly, stop time, and fold space-time into origami cranes, that’s a pretty strong statement.

“He’s just a baby!” Suwako protests.

“Hold up,” you say. “When Suwako’s ‘baby’ bashed open those doors with my face, well...” you gesture to the toppled bookshelves and general mayhem, then to Patchouli. “Do you know where Keine is? She could take care of that toot sweet.”

The maid shakes her head. “Your lady friend took off almost immediately after your little spat. One of the maids saw her heading towards the village.”

“Shit,” you opine.

“No matter, she’s a youkai. I’ll fetch some.... oh.” Sakuya gingerly touches Patchouli’s battered noggin. “That’s rather bad. She’s not very resilient. She’ll be out for a while without treatment... might even be serious.” She sighs, rubbing her head. For a moment, she looks very tired. “I suppose I’ll have to make a run to Erin.”

“NEIN!” you shout, slipping into Dwarvish. “It’s just a simple concussion! I can handle this. I just need... does she have an alchemist’s setup around here?” you ask Sakuya.

“What?”

“A LAB!” you declare, frustrated. “You know, eyeballs in jars and whackass-looking beakers filled with green slime and jars of frog’s breath and weird shit.”

“Ah,” the maid replies. “Of course. But it’s in her private chambers-”

“She’s hurt,” you point out. “Come on, give me twenty minutes and I’ll have her on her feet again.”

“Hard enough to do that when she’s normal,” Meiling snorts.

Sakuya frowns and shakes her head. “No. I’m getting proper medication from a proper healer. Save your kitchen-counter alchemy for somebody else!”

“Her pulse is really weak,” Meiling interrupts. “Sakuya...”

The maid bites her lip and sighs reluctantly. “Fine. This way.” She latches onto your wrist and fairly drags you through the library. You don’t have much time to observe the library, as Sakuya’s haste is considerable. After hauling you down one last aisle, the maid stops before a dingy wooden door set in the heavy brick wall, and fishes out a key-ring.

“She doesn’t actually use her chambers much,” Sakuya explains, selecting a key and fitting it into the lock. “She just throws a futon down next to her table and sleeps in the library, most days.” The lock yields, and Sakuya drags you into the room.

“Can’t see shit, Cap’n.”

At the sound of your voice, wisps of farie-fire go licking up the walls, intensifying quickly, until Patchouli’s chambers are well-lit with a suffuse glow.

“Her workshop is over here,” Sakuya says, now shoving you from behind through a low doorway. The room is vaguely similar to most arcane workshops you’ve seen; cluttered with bric-a-brac and rolled scrolls.... though there’s an absence of plans or notes for current projects. From the thick(er) layer of dust on everything, you presume the resident witch hasn’t done much practical experimentation in a long while.

You stride over to the table with the most screwy beakers and cluttered vials, and swipe a pile of scrolls onto the floor to make space. A cloud of choking dust fills the air, making you and Sakuya both cough.

“Skadoosh,” you mutter irritably, sending a little whirlwhind around your head to clear the air. “Hokay, ought to whip up some Dragon’s Brew and some run-of-the-mill healing salve...” you stroke your chin, glancing over the many little vials and jars. “Huh.”

“You know what all that stuff is, right?” Sakuya says dubiously.

“Kind of.”

What!?

“Labels aren’t always clear,” you explain. “Like this.” You hold up a vial labeled ‘Oddish powder.’

“Oddish?” Sakuya says, hiking an eyebrow.

“Magically mutated radish. Anyway, I know what it is, but not how fresh it is. Things like that are important. Thankfully, it’s pretty easy to determine.” You carefully pull the stopper, and an eerie, thin scream begins wailing from the vial.

You replace the cork. “Yeah, pretty old. Fresh ones are a lot louder. I’ll need to use a substitute... uh, Sakuya?” You look up from the desk to see the maid has retreated to the doorway.

“... I’ll wait out here.” She closes the wooden door quite firmly.

You shrug. You scrounge up a mortar and pestle, knock out the dried-up contents of Patchouli’s last project, and set to work. Most of the vials are labeled – in legible script, even, which is a novelty – but a few force you to pause for a quick analysis. Regardless, your work progresses swiftly.

About ten minutes later, you smash through the door, leap across the room, tear open the door to the lavatory, and hurl the smoking mortar bowl inside.

“What the hell-” Sakuya asks, rising from her seat on Pachy’s bed.

“HIT THE DECK!” you declare, slamming the lavatory door shut and whirling ‘bout in one motion before you nimbly spring at Sakuya. She yelps as you collide with her, knocking both of you to the floor.

The lavatory detonates with a percussive WHAM!

Sakuya shoves you off as pieces of the door finish clattering about the room. You cautiously stick your head up over the messy bed to evaluate your work.

Sakuya slides up next to you, peeking over the mattress parapet.

"What have you done!?” she says, aghast.

“ALCHEMY!” you declare triumphantly.

Sakuya seizes you by the front of your robes and hauls your face close to hers.

“You are inches away from death right now,” she breathes, her eyes wild.

“It worked,” you huff, jerking your thumb at the smoking bathroom. “There’ll be a white oil at the bottom of the mortar, now.

“It’s supposed to explode!?” Sakuya snarls, shaking you once.

“It does react. It usually fulminates and smokes pretty good. Patchy’s ingredients must have been a lot purer then what I’m used to.” The fact that you always mix it twice as strong as standard probably compounded the issue, but you keep that to yourself.

Sakuya releases you, letting you flop to the floor. She crosses her arms....

... and smirks. It widens into a smile, a real smile, warm and genuine. And then, to your utter horror, she begins laughing.

On the floor, you carefully begin inching your way under the bed, your offensive/defensive options flitting through your mind quickly. The maid is still laughing, her crossed arms loosening as she relaxes.

“Th-that fits,” Sakuya manages after a minute, still giggling. “Earlier I was thinking, him, a pharmacist? Carefully measuring... tediously experiments? But this-” she gestures to the smoking ruins of the bathroom, and breaks out into laughter again. She sits on the bed, and you deem it safe to rise from your cowering position.

Finally reigning in her mirth, she shakes her head. “Oh, explosions? Yeah, that’s you, all right.”

You’ve no grounds for umbrage; the pyrotechnic amusement potential did endear you to alchemy. Still, you are a Master alchemist, capital M, and after all the burnt-off eyebrows and AM wakeups naked in the town fountain after tripping the potions fantastic, you’re a bit miffed at the lack of respect.

“It’s an inherent danger of an ancient and difficult art,” you say primly, trying to keep any pout from infiltrating your tone.

You fail spectacularly, because Sakuya just starts laughing again. “Get the hell out of here,” she manages through her chuckles. “Go... help Patchy. I’ll clean up here.” You sulk out of the room, holding the still-warm mortar bowl ahead of you officiously to convey the deadly seriousness of your mission, and somehow this sets Sakuya off again.

Clearly, your haughty wizard dignity has been lost. Possibly when you hugged the whale? That certainly didn’t help.

Back at the front of the library, the others have arranged Patchouli comfortably on a futon.
“How is she?” you ask.

“Moaning and groaning every now and then, but mostly unresponsive,” Suwako answers.

You nod, and lean over Patchouli, tipping the mortar to dump the thick white oil inside over her bashed forehead. You rub it in liberally with your fingers. In less then a minute it starts drying into a thin white powder, and you see the wound slowly healing up as the oil does its work.

“And that’s that,” you say, wiping your fingers off on a rag Meiling handed you. From your pocket you retrieve two vials of Dragon’s Brew, which you mixed before starting on the salve. You call Cirno, who’s watching Patchy’s bruise vanish with fascination. She comes over.

“Your head hurting again?” She nods. Duke’s Aid spell only grants temporary, not permanent, healing. “Drink this, then.”

“And that would be?” Duke asks.

“Dragon’s Brew. Painkiller, energy booster, but most significantly it fortifies the constitution for an hour or so.”

“Are you sure Cirno needs more stamina?” Meiling asks dourly, earning her a dirty look from the fairy.

“Mrrmrhrfgk,” opines Patchouli. Duke and Meiling reach over and gently hoist her into a sitting position.

“Miss Knowledge, are you okay?” Meiling asks, holding her hand.

“I... what... head hurts,” she says, somewhat dazed.

“A bookshelf clobbered you,” Suwako said.

“Here, drink this,” you instruct. “Just painkiller.” You press the vial to her lips and she obediently downs it, sputtering a bit at the odd taste. After a minute or two of dizzy blinking, the Brew takes effect and Patchy comes to her senses.

“That’s better,” she says, still gripping her head. “What happened? I only remember...” for the first time her wandering eyes touch the peak of your characteristic wizard hat, and follow it down to your shit-eating grin.

“Uh, hi?”

You,” she hisses, and attempts a lunge which Suwako and Meiling restrain. “You!

“Actually... it was me,” Suwako says. “Pyonta, he...”

Patchouli looks at Suwako and sighs. “I did say he requires a binding.”

Suwako pouts. “But he loves to romp so much!”

“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “He romped my sorry ass clean through the doors. Very heavy doors.”

This explanation seems to satisfy the magician. “Fine. I suppose it couldn’t be helped.” She looks about the room. “What a fine mess this is.”

“You feeling better, at least?” Suwako asks. Patchouli nods, accepting the women’s help in rising to her feet again. “Thank the wizard; he whipped up the medicine.” Suwako flashes you a huge “got your back!” grin. She’s possibly feeling a bit guilty about the entire ‘my hat tried to eat you’ incident.

“I.... suppose it worked well enough,” Patchouli allows. “Thank you.”

“No trouble,” you say happily. “Didn’t take me ten minutes. How’s that compare to Erin’s stuff, eh?”

Patchouli gives you a deadpan gaze. “Erin made an elixir that grants immortality.”

“... you fucking lie.

“She did,” Meiling says.

“She did,” Suwako says.

“Totally did,” Cirno adds.

For several seconds all you hear is the rush of boiling blood in your veins.

“Okay,” you say with brittle brightness. “That’s cool. So’s Erin. Erin’s a cool chick. Yeah.”

While you take time to count to thirty – twice – Suwako gets Duke to sit with her at a nearby table and chat. Two larger fairy-maids come in bearing a tea-tray; presumably they’d been carrying it for Sakuya, earlier. You suppose a Celestial and a Goddess would have things to chat about, after all. Meiling excuses herself to finish her rounds, now that the crisis is past. Cirno stays close to you.

Patchouli is reclining on her futon again, eyes half-closed. “This concoction of yours is effective,” she admits. She extends her hand and you hoist her upright. Patchouli blinks sleepily and pulls her long braids behind her shoulders before stretching lazily. “Do I look any better?

She looks like a girl with brand-new cat ears, is how she looks.

“You’re a bloody caAMMMFH!” Cirno exclaims as your hand clamps over her trap.

“Uh, great, I - you look rested!” you say earnestly.

“Mmm, good,” she agrees lazily. “I can still give you that tour, just... give me a little time to recover, if you would.”

“Of course! Rest!” you say frantically. Your mind goes spinning through possible causes, with a mislabeled or contaminated ingredients bottle being chief among them. In any case, the effect is most likely temporary and assuredly reversible with a simple Polymorph spell... as long as she doesn’t look into a mirror in the next hour or so, you should be safe.

And if you can keep Cirno’s mouth shut...

Fuck.

Well, nothing for it. You’ve got twenty minutes to kill.

-----------------------------------------------

[ ] This library isn’t just magic texts. Let’s do some independent research on the whole Ghost angle, or related matters. Perhaps put our heads together with Duke while we’re at it.

[ ] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[ ] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

[ ] Speaking of mirrors, you did prepare Scry this morning, and you’re kind of curious about Keine...
>> No. 134497
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

These seem compatible.
>> No. 134498
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.
>> No. 134500
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134501
[X] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and accept Patchouli's tour. Then do some independent research on the whole Ghost angle, or related matters. Perhaps put our head together with Patchy while we’re at it.

Side effects: the fun tricky side of pharmaceuticals.
>> No. 134502
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

It's Eirin.
>> No. 134503
>>134501
She needs those 20 minutes to rest some, so she's unavailable.
>> No. 134505
[ ] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

>“Whale with Eldrich Monstrosity,” and ever so slowly her dumbstruck stare slides over to the Wizard, with a Bookcase, in the Library.
>“I don’t care what he smells like, you don’t go eating people without my permission!” Suwako continues, bopping the hat between the eyes lightly. “And no loli-tossing and ESPECIALLY no grabby tentacles!”
>Pyonta, eyes still rolling, is too flummoxed to defend himself, and shrinks before the wrath of his master.
>“Go to your ruins!” Suwako orders sternly, stomping her foot and pointing at the door. “And don’t give me any more lip if you want your sacrifices tonight!”

Goddamnit, this was glorious, made my day. I love your Suwako, Demetrious.
>> No. 134506
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.
>> No. 134509
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134511
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

Not bothering with any combined votes. Cirno's cantrips can wait.

>[ ] Speaking of mirrors, you did prepare Scry this morning, and you’re kind of curious about Keine...
Instant bad end. Keine already showed her absolute rage over being spied on the first time. We don't want to be giving her reason to have more trust issues even if she fails to notice the scry.
Besides, the spell is for countering the one who is spying on us. Which I guess is why we still haven't cast Mind Blank yet.
>> No. 134512
>>134511
Sadly, as much as I want to see Keine, I have to agree with you.

[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134513
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

Loli-tossing with grabby tentacles? I know he's supposed to be an eldritch abomination from beyond time and space, but he sounds suspiciously like a baby hentai tentacle monster disguised as a hat instead.

Your Suwkao seems to have some sort of reverse-Hikaru Genji project going on in any case if she's letting Pyonta get his tentacles all over her like that.
>> No. 134514
Come to think of it, what are the sacrifices she's talking about?
>> No. 134515
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134516
[ ] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[ ] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

Should be safe enough, but you never know. Less likely to blow up in his face than spying on Keine or poking around strange books without their keeper, at least.
>> No. 134517
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.
>> No. 134518
[X] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[X] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134519
[X] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[X] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

We might even impress Patchouli with the Servant Horde, and be in a mood to trade some spells. Koakuma is decent... and I'm waiting for Wizanon and Duke to discover that there's an actual demon around... but Unseen Servants have got to be better than the fairies.
>> No. 134520
>Clearly, your haughty wizard dignity has been lost. Possibly when you hugged the whale? That certainly didn’t help.

Also the bit where the greased tentacle monster tackled you, man. Trust me, that never helps either.

[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

That looks like a good combo, although it's a bit self-contradictory. If we start teaching Cirno some magic, there's absolutely no way we'll be able to stay out of trouble for twenty minutes. Duh.
>> No. 134521
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134522
>>134520
>That looks like a good combo, although it's a bit self-contradictory. If we start teaching Cirno some magic, there's absolutely no way we'll be able to stay out of trouble for twenty minutes. Duh.

How about something simple, like...um, you know, that one spell that's easy and not dangerous, and, and...screw this, you are the D&D players, not me.
>> No. 134523
>>134522
Light sounds not-explodey enough. It simply creates light. Not even the kind that hurts vampires.
>> No. 134524
>She looks like a girl with brand-new cat ears, is how she looks.
Hell yes. I wouldn't worry about it. Patchy likes cats, right?

[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.

Keine don't like scrying, and researching stuff would be hard with the library wrecked.
>> No. 134526
File 12973034211.jpg - (92.04KB , 600x450 , ab157d66adfbcee2f667cbb19b50d601.jpg ) [iqdb]
134526
>>134524
>I wouldn't worry about it.
>> No. 134527
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.
>> No. 134528
>>134522
>How about something simple, like...um, you know, that one spell that's easy and not dangerous, and, and...screw this, you are the D&D players, not me.
We teach her Prestidigitation.
>> No. 134529
>"Eirin made an elixir that grants inmortality"
>"You fucking lie"

Poor, poor wizard. Elminster is a kid playing with cantrips here.

[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
>> No. 134530
Can't say I didn't warned you all. There IS reason why Alchemy is long studious art that requires LONG preparations and research and not something for quick solutions.


[X] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[X] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
[X] [evil]Where the hell is Koakuma, she TOTALLY need to see Duke. And Duke TOTALLY need to see her...[/evil]
>> No. 134531
>>134530
A rather wrecked bathroom is much better than I expected. And it worked!
>> No. 134532
Luckily wizanon learned alchemy the easy way; that is, beating up monsters over and over with spells until he suddenly becomes better at alchemy.
>> No. 134533
>>134530
I count catgirl Patchy as win/win.

[X] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

First time for everything, even staying out fo trouble!

[X] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

Might shut her mouth. Also, what could go wrong? Other than her accidentally fireballing the library. ...Maybe we should start with the simple and not-fire-explodey stuff.
>> No. 134539
Sakuya doesn't seem to hate us at least, and Patchy isn't mad at us (depending on how she takes the cat ears-- worst case I suppose we could always Limited Wish them away). I'm personally worried about Keine.

[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.
-[x] Cast Mind Blank already holy shit
>> No. 134540
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
Yeah...
>> No. 134541
>>134524
>Hell yes. I wouldn't worry about it. Patchy likes cats, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT8GGtRDWSo
>> No. 134542
File 129732549421.jpg - (662.04KB , 1200x1300 , koa glass adjust.jpg ) [iqdb]
134542
Library assistant where?
>> No. 134543
>Mind Blank
>Mind Blank
>Mind Blank
>Mind Blank
Question...what is Mind Blank and why is it so great?
>> No. 134544
>>134543

Mind Blank

The subject is protected from all devices and spells that detect, influence, or read emotions or thoughts. This spell protects against all mind-affecting spells and effects as well as information gathering by divination spells or effects. Mind blank even foils limited wish, miracle, and wish spells when they are used in such a way as to affect the subject’s mind or to gain information about it. In the case of scrying that scans an area the creature is in, such as arcane eye, the spell works but the creature simply isn’t detected. Scrying attempts that are targeted specifically at the subject do not work at all.
>> No. 134545
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
-[x] Try to give Cirno a bit of a lesson in the meanwhile.
-[x] Casting Mind Blank after dealing with a mind bending abomination would be a good idea.

Y'know, just sayin'.
>> No. 134546
>>134544
I forgot, it also last for 24 hours.
>> No. 134547
>>134544
Oh, huh. That's totally different from what It thought it was. It sounded like everyone was eager to turn someone into a drooling vegetable...
But yeah, that sounds good. Cast it.
>> No. 134548
I'm not sure if Mind Blank works retroactively as it sounds like a preventive spell, not a recovery one.
>> No. 134549
[x] Cast Mind Blank
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134551
>>134548
Well, there is a certain amount of relief and peace-of-mind that comes from the knowledge that "they can't get me now, they can't get me now, my brains are safe they can't get me now"
>> No. 134553
[x] Cast Mind Blank
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134558
Can't...stop...laughing

[X] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.

[X] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?
>> No. 134559
[x]Send invisible servants to clean up mess.
Have them dust out the lab and assist Sakuya in repairing the privy while we're at it.
[x]Cast the godsdamn Mind Blank already, seriously.
It blocks out "mind-affecting effects" as well as spells so even horrors from beyond sanity, like Pyonta, can't fuck with your head while the spell is active.
Any wizard who prepares it casts it immediately, unless they're violently interrupted while preparing spells, so why hasn't he cast it yet?
[x]We promised Cirno a magic lesson. Show her how to cast some cantrips that [s]can't be used to[s] are very hard to damage/injure anything with.

I suggest spells like Dancing Lights, Prestidigitation, Ghost Sound and Open/Close.
Maybe Arcane Mark (but then we will have to go Erasing magical ⑨ graffiti everywhere).


Whatever we do, don't just go around reading random books or something like that.
First of all, it's not polite and Patchy doesn't exactly have the highest opinion of Wizardnon so far. He's only allowed in here because Remilia said so.
Not to mention most spellcasters don't like it when you fuck around in their "happy place". (Libraries, ivory towers, laboratories with lightning-in-a-jar and suspicious corpses, whatever it might be.. Don't touch their shit without permission.)

Besides, Patchy has spent enough time in this library to be able to fill every page of every book with Explosive Runes if she wanted to. I'm sure Wizardnon has thought of doing something like that at some point, he just doesn't have his own library to do it in.
>> No. 134563
>>134559
>Also prevents mind-affecting effects

But not ability damage.
Maybe the mechanical effect of Pyonta's presence is WIS damage? Or even INT damage, since it inhibits spellcasting.
My point is, we may have already cast it, and if we haven't, maybe that's because we'd actually like to catch our mystery scryer? Can't do that if they can't have they scrying turned back upon them.
>> No. 134566
File 129736054383.png - (207.58KB , 600x450 , sanae blush.png ) [iqdb]
134566
>>134541

I CAN'T LOOK AWAY

IT'S BEEN PLAYING FOR AN HOUR ON REPEAT AND I

CAN'T

LOOK

AWAY
>> No. 134567
>>134566>>134541
Goddammit now look what you've done.
>> No. 134568
>>134566
Pray to the Emperor for deliverance, Demetrious! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!
>> No. 134570
>>134566
I probably shouldn't show you this, then.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb6eDGSUu7c
>> No. 134594
File 129739301940.png - (326.22KB , 509x378 , 1235447928981.png ) [iqdb]
134594
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfJ37G2_l9w
>> No. 134597
File 129739583736.jpg - (307.35KB , 680x800 , cirno (after magic lessons).jpg ) [iqdb]
134597
[x] Clean up the mess with Servant Horde and stay out of trouble for twenty minutes, if only for the novelty. If (hell, when) the Sisters Scarlet drop by, it’ll look better if there isn’t a disaster zone by the door.
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we? (Let's see if the GM will let her player swap out Summon Familiar for Elemental Substitution...)
[x] Pyonta's gone; there's no point in casting mind blank now.

Also, under absolutely no circumstances whatsoever should we use a polymorph spell on Patchy.
>> No. 134599
>>134597
>not actually NSFW, but I can't delete/repost
>yes, I fail at internet
>> No. 134600
>>134594
>【1 hour LONG!】
What madness have you unleashed?
>> No. 134603
I'm actually disappointed in the outcome, I expected us to dose patchouli with some magic meth.
>> No. 134605
>>134597

I agree with this man, all the world knows that Cirno is the strongest. Giving her dominion over all power would let her crush the other fairies under her iron fist!

And since she's one of the two Only Sane ones here, she deserves to be awesome :)
>> No. 134622
>>134603
New CYOA idea!

Druglord in Gensokyo, ya dig?
>> No. 134623
[x] Hey, we did promise Cirno a magic lesson, didn’t we?

Ray of frost is not difficult.
>> No. 134625
>>134622
We haven't had an Eirin thread in a while, true...
>> No. 134627
Mind blank lasts 24 hours, more than enough time for us to get another casting of it.

[x]Goddamn it, cast the damn Mind Blank already!
>> No. 134629
>>134597

So we won't cast Mind Blank unless we desperately need it right now, in which case it's too late to cast it?
Great logic there.
>> No. 134630
>>134566
There is no escape. One hour? Mine’s been playing for 4 now... I think I’ll sleep with it on as my eyes close of their own will alone...
>> No. 134638
>>134594
That's... an hour long. Wow.
>> No. 134663
>>134629
It's a preventive spell used in preparation of dealing with something, not a recovery one afterwards. You should really lay off the babby RPGs.
>> No. 134665
>>134663
That's what he's saying. He's mocking the man for saying that since the danger is over, no point in using Mind Blank anymore.

I don't agree with casting it right now anyway, since if we do we can't counter-scry whoever it was that was doing it earlier.
>> No. 134681
>>134539
Patchy shouldn't mind the ears; after all, a cat and a person are within the margin of error.
>> No. 134687
>>134623
No, no Cirno has Ray of Frost as an at-will spell like ability already (along with most other spells of the Ice descriptor), so we should teach her something else, like daze. Then she can get that thematic casting feat and refluff her daze's verbal component as saying something that causes the opponents brain to lock up.

And if you want to complain about thematic casting, remember that she's going to use them as part of her spellcards, where beauty is power.

No, really, that's part of the rules.
>> No. 134690
>>134665
Bullshit we can't.
>> No. 134702
>I don't agree with casting it right now anyway, since if we do we can't counter-scry whoever it was that was doing it earlier.

Ergh... Mind Blank causes a lot of rules confusion, but the way I understand it, Mind Blank functions after Detect Scrying, not before (Detect Scrying was cast earlier >>130877 ). In other words, the scrying attempt would be detected by Mr. Crazy Wizard and could potentially be traced back to its source if he's good/lucky. Mind Blank would then foil the scrying and prevent it from working at all for the scryer, since the typical Scrying spell focuses on a person and fails entirely if it is prevented from doing so.

This is different from Arcane Eye scrying, however, which plants what is essentially an invisible eyeball in the area that can move around and look at things. Mind Blanked people don't show up in that kind of scrying; they're simply imperceptible, though everything not in their direct possession shows up fine. Which leads to funny stuff like randomly opening doors and self-moving chairs. A lot like Invisibility, basically.
>> No. 134703
>>134597
>there's no point in casting mind blank now.

Actually there's no point in NOT casting it because Mind Blank lasts 24 hours. We really should have cast it as soon as we prepared it, since you can simply recast it every day and it will keep you safe.


Also I still want to teach Cirno Burning Hands just because of how deliciously wrong it is.
>> No. 134845
>>134703
I can imagine cirno having unvoluntary elementary change, so... get ready for 'Icing Hands'
>> No. 136989
New thread: >>134719