[Return]
Archived Thread

File 129419526965.jpg - (85.23KB , 400x400 , cosmic powah.jpg ) [iqdb]
132680 No. 132680
Thread 1: >>123033
Thread 2: >>124226
Thread 3: >>124917
Thread 4: >>125518
Thread 5: >>126187
Thread 6: >>126955
Thread 7: >>127594
Thread 8: >>128755
Thread 9: >>129398
Thread 10 >>130134
Thread 11 >>131167

In which another mind will be shattered.


Holy Hell, Part 2/2


Pushing open the doors of the main dining room, you see Remilia and Flandre bent over a large checkered game board. Flandre’s brow is furrowed in concentration. Sakuya quietly ushers the rest of the crowd into the room, and you stride closer to the table to see what your hostesses are up to.

You notice one of the game pieces milling about idly, and do a double take. They’re all tiny fairies, dressed in extravagant outfits. Remilia’s “team” is white, and Flandre is playing black.

“Knight to e-four,” Remilia says coolly, and one of Remila’s fairies, dressed in a little suit of armor and carrying a stuffed horse head on a stick, makes a great show of “galloping” over to the indicated square. She taps Flandre’s fairy, dressed like a little footman, on the shoulder, and the vanquished ‘piece’ sulks off the board to sit with a few others on the sidelines.

Flandre leans forward, scowling at the board, before a truly frightening grin spreads across her face. “Queen to e-four!”

Flandre’s fairy, clad in a gown and wielding a scepter, imperiously strides over to the ‘Knight’ and shoves her out of the square, taking a moment to pose haughtily. Remilia’s knight stumbles and falls on her rear. Springing to her feet, the fairy winds up with her stick-horse and smacks the daylights out of the ‘queen,’ who is still preening when the blow sends her sprawling. Remilia’s knight pumps her fist in the air twice to celebrate her victory, before one of Flandre’s footmen connects with a flying tackle. The captured pieces on the sidelines begin cheering boisterously as the entire game board dissolves into a fairy-fighting furball.

“Oh well,” Remilia says, smiling a bit at the commotion. “I think you get the point, though.”

“Yes,” Flandre whispers eagerly. “Yes.”

Remilia slowly turns her gaze on you.

“I’m so glad you could join us,” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Seems you had a busy night.”

“Yuff,” you confirm past a mouthful of bagel, and carelessly flop into a chair next to Flandre.

“I didn’t expect you to be a romantic...” Remilia muses, and you see Keine throw a glare at the back of Remilia’s head.

“... long walks in moonlit woods, and all that,” she finishes, raising her teacup placidly.

“Mmm, dryads. Redefines ‘getting wood’,” you say. Your timing is perfect, and Remilia sputters into her teacup. Sakuya glides up to proffer a tea towel. You notice Keine biting her lip to restrain a grin as she takes a seat next to you.

Remilia slaps her teacup down with a sharp clink!, and dabs at her chin with sharp little jabs of the towel. You refill your own teacup, and with deliberate malice, bring it to your lips.

Siiiiip.

Remilia frowns at you. As she opens her mouth to make a retort, a blonde head appears behind her.

“Remilia~” Suwako sing-songs.

Remilia’s jaw snaps shut with an audible click.

“Suwako,” the vampire fairly growls, her eyes still fixed on you.

“That’s me!” Suwako fairly bounces into the chair next to Remilia, daintily filling the teacup at the place setting laid out before her. “And how have you been, Lady Remilia?”

The “Lady” cuts her eyes sideways at the diminutive goddess, her irritation clear. “And just what brings you down from the mountain?”
“Sanae’s a cruddy cook,” Suwako says matter-of-factly as she liberates a scone from the hovering tray. You whisper a quiet command in your own language, and the Unseen Servant sets the tray upon the table gently. “All she’d ever do is stuff a hot pocket in the microwave before leaving for school.”

“A what in a what?” Cirno asks.

“A tasteless little pre-made sandwich you heat with a magic oven for a minute or so,” Suwako explains, smearing some jelly onto her scone. “Awful stuff, really, but Sanae has never been the patient type. As you learned yesterday,” she concludes, nodding at you.

“You met Sanae?” Flandre interjects.

“She enthusiastically assaulted him,” Keine’s voice says from behind you. Her hand alights on your shoulder. “He trounced her quite effectively.”

“Hmph,” Flandre snorts.

“She mentioned that,” Suwako agrees between bites of her scone. “Did she try fishing for compliments afterwards?”

Your jaw freezes mid-chew. Suwako smirks knowingly.

“She’s good, isn’t she?”

“But, uh, I did make fun of her,” you point out hastily. “It’s not like she was baiting, I mean...”

“Mmm-hmm,” Suwako hums through her mischievous smile. “Probably. But sometimes I do wonder about that girl.”

Keine’s grip has tightened a bit on your shoulder. “Sanae has no guile within her soul whatsoever,” she says firmly. “Unless you and Kanako have rubbed off on her...”

Indeed,” Remilia interjects. She’s drumming her fingers on the tabletop slowly. “So you paid us a visit just for Sakuya’s cooking, hmm?”

“I wanted to ask Lady Patchouli something, too,” Suwako replies. “And visit you, of course.”

“I would have preferred you enter by the front gate,” Remilia says, her voice grating.

“I didn’t want to wake up Meiling,” Suwako says sweetly. “Besides, what’s a little trespassing between neighbors?”

The Scarlet Devil is indeed turning scarlet, one little balled fist gripping her tea-towel. Her face is entirely impassive, but her fiery red eyes betray her wrath. Suwako just sips her tea and favors the vampire with a cute smile.

Remilia cuts her eyes at you, calculating, and then turns away from Suwako, reaching for the breakfast tray sullenly. You go ahead and load your plate with scrambled eggs and sausage, having the Unseen Servant pass the tray down to Keine and Cirno when you’re set. Suwako had a point with the crack about breakfast; Sakuya certainly was a fine cook. There’s some amiable chatter about the weather, the youkai, and the ‘price of tea in China’ (this last is mentioned by Suwako with a smirk,) but nothing of substance. Flandre joins in surprisingly amicably, but Remilia remains reserved. You suspect she’s waiting to interrogate you over your forest jaunt out of Suwako’s hearing, and you’re just as eager to discuss the ‘Great Summer Youkai’ with the goddess without Remilila’s eavesdropping. Cirno is unusually taciturn as well.

After everyone has eaten their fill (except Remilia, who doesn’t seem to ‘eat’ much,) Sakuya rises and-

-the plates are gone, table clear and fresh brew in the teapots. You let Keine offer the route pleasantries for your whole group, not really listening to it. A slight air of smug amusement has lingered about Suwako’s smirk through the whole meal, and Remila is still shooting the goddess cold glances and tapping the table with her spoon a little too hard for idle fidgeting.

“Well?” Sakuya asks you. You start.

“Wait, what?”

“She just offered to lead you to the library,” Remilia says dourly, rising from the breakfast table. “Or perhaps Suwako could show you. She certainly knows her way around.” The Scarlet Devil shoves her chair in rather roughly and quickly takes her leave, Flandre trailing close behind.

“I believe you have vexed her,” you comment to Suwako.

“Indeed,” the diminutive deity agrees, twisting her dress in her hands. “Whatever did I do?”

Sakuya heaves the sigh of the long-suffering and shakes her head. “If you’re quite done, can we go?”

“Quite,” Keine replies. “He’s been lusting for that library ever since he heard of it.”

Sakuya leads you, Keine, Cirno and Suwako back to the main hallway, then down a side corridor you hadn’t noticed before. It’s narrow and dim, and it seems too long somehow, though you can’t quite say why. Sakuya turns around another corner, pushes open a glass door, and you find your party back in the huge courtyard. It’s a beautiful day outside, and a few butterflies are lazily drifting from shrub to shrub.

You squint at the large space, taking note of the main hallway you, Keine and Cirno used for your uninvited entrance yesterday. Running through the mental map of the Mansion in your head, some things don’t seem to add up. You twist your spatial reasoning inside out, trying to puzzle it out.

Well?” Sakuya’s voice breaks through your reverie.

“What?” you ask again.

Sakuya sighs again. “Are you even listening to me?”

“I, who have heard the Divine Chord that was strummed at the beginning of creation, which has thrummed ever since... I, who have heard the soft whispers of the dead, and the sullen counsel of demigods on distant planes... I, who have heard the sound of a silent scream, am now asked if I was listening!?” Your chin has risen of its own accord, and you glare down from beneath the brim of your wizard hat with sudden menace.

Sakuya hesitates a moment, taken aback by the abrupt transformation. Then she firmly crosses her arms over her slight bust, fixing you with her cold blue eyes.

“You can take that ‘Zuul’ act and stuff it right up your extra-dimensional pocket,” Sakuya says sharply. “You’ve had your fun with it, but I’ll tolerate no more. You’re not that mysterious and we both know it, so stop!” She fairly shouts the last word.

Before you can say anything, there’s a muted pop! from directly behind Sakuya accompanied by a brief stir of wind. The maid takes a step forward and leans in a bit.

“And I’ll not be duped by any parlor tricks, you-”

Somebody behind her clears their throat, and Sakuya abruptly whirls about to find Duke staring down at her from two feet away.

“EYAH!” she fairly screams, lurching backwards, a knife appearing in her hand instantaneously. She brandishes the weapon at the Hound Archon, her eyes blazing furiously. “Wha- what- what!”

Duke, for the first time you can remember, disregards the opportunity to introduce himself. He gently steps around the incensed maid, and plants one big hand on your shoulder.

“Uh, hi, Duke,” you say uncertainly. “I, uh, I didn’t mean to...” You trail off as Duke leans in and pulls you close to stare into his golden eyes.

“You. Fucking. Owe me,” Duke strains out, his deep baritone voice betraying a tremor. Releasing your shoulder, he shakes his head wearily and strides over to a nearby bench, slumping onto it.

Sakuya still has her knife out, not sure who to point it at, and she’s giving you a truly astonished look.

“You were saying something about his mysteriousness?” Keine says from behind Sakuya, slipping you a wink and a grin behind her back.



[ ] Postpone your library visit to debrief Duke – in private, away from maids of all sorts.
[ ] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
[ ] Castigate the author’s shitty vote options and proceed to the fucking library already.

>> No. 132682
[x] Proceed to the fucking library already.
Go. Do it. There are books, those are the only things that get him horny the most.
Keine, library, many books. Instant rape.
>> No. 132683
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

I want to hear the rest of what happened with Duke, and everyone else's opinion on it.
>> No. 132684
[X] Proceed to the fucking library already.

Seriously.
>> No. 132685
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

Library's not going anywhere.
>> No. 132687
[X] Proceed to the fucking library already.

Don't want to let Sakuya into the loop. The thought of the perfect and elegant maid loosing it sometime in the future makes my day.
>> No. 132688
>>132687
>loosing

I think you meant [i]losing[i]-

>Sakuya loosing the buttons of her blouse, letting it slip from her shoulders

... on second thought, nevermind.
>> No. 132689
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

Once we get inside of that library, it's unlikely that we're coming out for a loooong time, so might as well tie up loose ends in the vicinity.
>> No. 132690
[X] Proceed to the fucking library already

also a casual comment about how Remilia is the cutest vampire we've met might help ease tensions a little bit
>> No. 132691
[x] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

I like this Suwako and wish to see more of her.
>> No. 132693
[x] Random vote

Throw a dice Demetrious! A six sided one, though, 2 numbers for each option is enough.

Also, did it take you all this time to update because you were drawing the OP?
>> No. 132694
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

People seem to be forgetting that it's Keine route, there's a Patchy route over in /sdm/
>> No. 132697
[┼] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

At the very least we could discuss things AS we make our way to the library.
>> No. 132698
[X] Proceed to the fucking library already
-[x] Remember to have a talk with the Mistress of the house afterwards.
The last one is optional.

The last one is optional, but having
>> No. 132699
[X]Proceed to library WHILE debriefing Duke in public.

Two-fer!
>> No. 132700
[x] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

Though once Duke's done giving his account of the night, you may wish to ask Sakuya if there's any more liquor lying around, he'll probably need it.

Of course, if she's seen the inside of the place herself, she may well head off to grab some of her own volition.
>> No. 132701
[X] Proceed to the fucking library already
>> No. 132702
[X]Proceed to library WHILE debriefing Duke in public.

It's called efficiency, dude.
>> No. 132703
>>132702

YES!

[x] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public.

If the opportunity to discuss the Great MidSummer Youkai with Suwako presents itself, take it.

I would also like to castigate the author. Warn us next time if you want to take a break for the holidays. Wallowing in uncertainty and doubt is not conductive to good thinking.
>> No. 132704
[x] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public, While joking with Suwako.
>> No. 132705
[x] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132706
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132707
>>132689

You. Don't do that. Refer to the FAQ.
>> No. 132708
[x] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132709
[X] Mention to Duke that we're currently guests on the estate of a powerful family of demon-vampires.

Just a thought. Unless, of course, you think it's a good idea to leave such information as a surprise for later. I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

Suwako is going to the library anyway, so how about we just

[X] Proceed to the fucking library already.
>> No. 132710
>>132709
if they go, he'll end up sidetracked, especially with the way people are voting.
>> No. 132712
[X] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public.
>> No. 132713
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing Duke in public.

>>132694
You vote the way you want, and we'll vote the way we want.
>> No. 132716
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132718
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing Duke in public.
[X] Observe proper library etiquette.

As tempting as the other options are, we NEED an ally on the inside of the SDM as soon as possible, and Patchy may be our only real option at this point. If Patchy likes us it means that it is that Remi is much less likely to try to murder us or something.

Not being our usual sarcastic loudmouth in the library will hopefully leave a good impression on the Patch.
>> No. 132719
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132720
[x] Postpone your library visit to debrief Duke – in private, away from maids of all sorts.
>> No. 132722
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing Duke in public.
[X] Observe proper library etiquette.
>> No. 132723
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing Duke in public.
[X] Observe proper library etiquette.
>> No. 132725
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132727
[x] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public.
[x] Begin a rebuild quest to replace our Wizard levels with prestige class levels. Like Loremaster and/or Archmage.
>> No. 132728
[x] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

Duke was there for us just last night, to listen to our own troubles and give advice. He's obviously shaken up right now, so we need to do the same for him. And his vivid detail about his horrifying experiences with Alice's dolls could end up freaking Sakuya out even more than she is already.

Besides, the anecdotal intel on the Midsummer Youkai thing is important to know about before we enter the library so we can go in with the intent of researching possibilities related to it. The library won't be going anywhere, after all, and we're not under any time pressure for now.
>> No. 132729
[x] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public.
>> No. 132731
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132732
[x] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public.

As much as I love Duke, it's time to get to that fucking library already.
Besides, it's not as if the Great Midsummer Youkai is some sort of terrible secret that we can't let anyone hear.
>> No. 132733
You know, it occurs to me... the reason Sakuya is so freaked out... is because someone just pulled a stealth intro on HER.

Keep in mind what she abuses her time-stopping powers for--doing mundane tasks, getting around, delivering messages, e.t.c. So she's used to startling people by virtue of appearing out of nowhere-

-and this guy just shows up out of nowhere.

LOL

WUT?

Where the hell did he come from?! Did he time-stop like I did? Did he teleport in? Because I didn't give that wizard time to make wacky handwaving motions and say anything--this dog guy just appeared...

AARGH! I FREAKING HATE THIS 'ZUUL' GUY!

He wasn't even TRYING to be random and mysterious at that point--but it happened anyway! How the hell did he time that?



At least that's how I imagine her thought processes to go. Funny how easily somebody with time-stop can be skittish, eh? (In other words... "Problem, Sakuya?")
>> No. 132735
[x] Postpone your library visit to debrief Duke – in private, away from maids of all sorts.
>> No. 132739
>>132733

Get out.

[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

I assume it will take at least a year for us to get out of the library anyway so... yeah.
>> No. 132745
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing Duke in public.
[X] Observe proper library etiquette.
>> No. 132746
>>132731
Don't vote with your trip, you douche.
>> No. 132748
[x] Proceed to the fucking library already.
>> No. 132757
[x] Proceed to the library while debriefing Duke in public.

>>132746

Just a gentle reminder will do, y'know.

No need to get so AGNRY over it.
>> No. 132762
Hmm.. as much fun as I'm having at the thought of Sakuya mentally combusting... (Note my >>132733) do we really want to -push- a person with Persistent Time Stop? Aside from the sheer ownage she can unleash on us, she can also.. well, prank the crap out of us. She just seems to be too reserved to have done anything like this.

It seems like all this came from a bad first impression -- us seeing her as cold, and her seeing *hearing* us announce ourselves as ZUUL..

Meh, what I'm saying is... do you guys think we've poked her enough, can savor the victories in the skirmishes we have by now, and can now just stop poking at her? Not because it's not fun--it is fun to poke her--but because she has Time Stop.
>> No. 132763
>>132762
Bow down to fear? Never!
>> No. 132764
[x] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

We should do Duke this courtesy if only because he's the reason we just saved face in front of Keine, Cirno, and Sakuya. I don't see the need for secrecy, though; we want other people around so they can vouch that Margatroid does not, in fact, eat children.
>> No. 132775
>>132763
It's called caution as it'd be a terrible thing to be on the recieving end of such "bullshit" powers. Not to mention how it might end up affecting others (coughkeinecirnocough)
>> No. 132780
[x] Debrief Duke. What are the chances we can use the language barrier to our advantage, for once?

Is it not said "Care ye for your friends and allies, for they shall care for you in times of need"?
>> No. 132784
>>132780
I agree, Duke has seen us through thick and thin and something has obviously rattled him from taking that weird blonde girl home.

It is best to counsel our closest ally in this world before the magics that keep him here are reversed.

And on that note...we might never know if we shall ever see him again, the barrier that surrounds this demi plane might have gotten smart on us and empowered itself against these...foreign incursions.
>> No. 132797
Hold on, how did Duke teleport in right behind Sakuya? Archons can't teleport at all, and McWizard didn't cast anything, did he?
>> No. 132798
>>132797
Yes, they can:
> Teleport (Su): Archons can use greater teleport at will, as the spell (caster level 14th), except that the creature can transport only itself and up to 50 pounds of objects.
>> No. 132801
I have no idea which vote was mine, or if I even voted at all, but I'd like to attach >>132780 's bit about using the language barrier to our advantage to my vote, because I remember it involved talking to Duke, at least.
>> No. 132808
>>132798

Where's that from, then? I'm looking at the hound archon page someone linked earlier and it isn't there. Are there different archons or something?
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Hound_Archon
>> No. 132809
[x] Debrief Duke. What are the chances we can use the language barrier to our advantage, for once?

>>132808
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Archon_Subtype
Subtypes with default abilities are sneaky.
>> No. 132819
>>132808
It's right there on the page you linked to.

>Special Qualities: Aura of menace, change shape, damage reduction 10/evil, darkvision 60 ft., immunity to electricity and petrification, magic circle against evil, scent, spell resistance 16, teleport, tongues
>> No. 132827
>>132819
>tongues

I know this means languages, but I can't help but think that Duke would be great at oral sex.
>> No. 132835
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing and discussing matters with Duke in Celestial. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.

I wonder if there is going to be problems with Duke meeting Koakuma.
>> No. 132837
Ermm.. could someone explain to me why keeping knowledge of the Great Midsummer Youkai from Sakuya/Patchy/the rest is important?

Because I think I missed it at first. Or do we just want to be rude and jabber in a foreign language in front of everyone?
>> No. 132838
>>132837
Because we've been given no reason to trust them and plenty to be wary of them.

Suwako gets a pass because the Archon didn't react unfavorably in her presence.
>> No. 132839
>>132838
They're being nice enough right now. If anything, the wizard has given her reason to not trust HIM, what with the bragging about killing other vampires and such.

Letting her into his confidence might convince her to not stab him in the back later.
>> No. 132852
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing and discussing matters with Duke in Celestial. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
>> No. 132885
[X] Proceed to library while debriefing Duke in public.
[X] Observe proper library etiquette.
>> No. 132937
File 129462039137.jpg - (89.90KB , 400x1053 , 1254641623710.jpg ) [iqdb]
132937
[X] Postpone your library visit and discuss matters right here, in the open. You wanted Suwako’s take on the Great Summer Youkai, after all.
[X] Exploit the language barrier to your advantage.


You try and return Keine’s grin, but the obvious agitation displayed by the normally unflappable Duke has even unsettled you.

“He looks just as surprised as I am,” Sakuya says after a moment, slipping back into her distant, cool expression, though the knife held in a white-knuckled grip diminishes the effect somewhat.

“Not even Zuul knows Zuul,” you remind her, then turn to Duke.

“Sooooo....” you say awkwardly in Celestial, recalling the last time you saw him, striding through the dark forest after Alice. “Uh... what exactly, uh, happened?”

Duke looks up from the ground. “There are no words in the tongues of men or Celestials sufficient to summarize.”

You think about the things you and Duke have seen together, much less slain. “That bad? She seemed a little off, but...”

“Time for that later, my friend. As usual, you’re forgetting introductions.” Duke nods at the assembled women.

Introductions. Between your social skills and insatiable lust for the knowledge treasure trove only a short walk away, handling introductions between powerful hat-crazy women and your angelic Dog-man friend is the last thing on earth you want to do. Your instinct is to just rush on to the library and debrief Duke in Celestial.

And yet... you glance at Keine, who’s staring at Duke, fascinated. Just once, they can wait their turn, he’d told you in the forest. Just this once, something else should take priority... and Duke is the closest thing you have to family.

You sigh, surrendering. “Uh, everybody, this is Duke-”

“-Duandor,” Duke corrects you automatically.

“Er, right,” you agree. “He’s a good friend of mine who hails from the plane of Celestia.”

“He’s a Celestial?” Cirno says dubiously. “And you’re friends with him?”

“Why not?” you ask, mystified.

“Celestials are jerks,” Cirno says, crossing her arms defiantly. “All they ever do is fly down to Earth and spout baffling crap that confuses people.”

You barely manage to choke your guffaw into a snort. You press your lips together in a severe line, trying to keep a grin off your face as you feel the heat of Duke’s perpetual frown turn on you.

“I do not deliver prophecies,” Duke says, sounding a little miffed. “I am the enforcer of justice and decency across the planes-”

“So you beat people up,” Cirno summarizes.

“.... yes but they’re all bad,” you interject. “Uh, anyways, this is Cirno. She’s an ice fairy.”

“Powerful?” Duke mutters in Celestial, eyeing Cirno up and down.

“She’d be in the seelie court back home, yeah,” you mutter back.

“Teacher,” Cirno says grimly, glaring at you, then at Duke. “Give me the hat.

Keine looks at you helplessly, shrugs, and takes off her hat, dropping it onto Cirno’s head. “Now say the same word again,” she says, scowling at Duke.

“... Powerful?” Duke repeats in Celestial.

“I’m-”

“-the strongest!” you, Suwako, and Keine all say in perfect unison.

“.... what they said,” Cirno says weakly, her thunder stolen.

“SO,” you say, slapping your hands together firmly, “That’s Cirno. This lovely lady is
Keine Kamishirasawa, local schoolteacher.”

“She’s the attractive bitch, yes?”

“FFFFFF-” you begin to stutter out, rounding on Duke with a balled fist, before you realize he just spoke in Vulcan, a terribly obscure elvish dialect neither of you could understand without your tongues spells.

“What?” Duke asks innocently, in Japanese. Keine and the rest are staring at you.

Nothing,” grates the lie from your stony face. “Anyways. Miss Kamishirasawa has been quite kind to me. Now this little lady here is...” you trail off. “Where the hell did Suwako go?”

“That’s a huge sword,” Suwako observes from behind Duke. The Archon starts, jumping up from his bench. Suwako swings about, dangling from the hilt of Duke’s sheathed greatsword. Planting her feet on Duke’s back, she clambers up onto his shoulder and pats his head.

“Hi!” she exclaims cheerfully.

“Greetings,” Duke returns placidly, looking up at Suwako. “And who might you be?”

“Suwako Moriya,” she says cheerfully. “I’m a devotion management executive.”

“You manage a temple?” Duke asks dubiously, eyeing Suwako’s childish figure.

“Yeah, I do!” Suwako says. “It’s boring work, but pleasant enough.”

“Peace is its own reward,” Duke agrees, gently setting Suwako on the ground. “And a temple priestess, a rock of peace for her worshippers.”

Suwako cocks her head at Duke. “I like you,” she decides. She slides a wink in your direction that you don’t return. You decide that you’ll tell Duke he was just talking to a bona-fide goddess when you’re alone, and you’ve gotten some liquor into the poor bastard.

“And I,” says Sakuya coolly, from the back, “am Sakuya Izayoi, head maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.”

Fuck.

“.... Scarlet Devil Mansion,” Duke says thoughtfully, lingering on the vowels. His head slowly rotates to look at you.

“We’re just visiting-”

“He and Miss Kamishirasawa are our guests,” Sakuya continues gleefully. “I could prepare you a room as well, if you’d like to stay over.”

“A room. To sleep over in,” Duke says softly, his golden eyes boring into you.

godsfuckingdammit

“So how did it go with Alice!” you blurt out swiftly, clapping your hands together and plastering a shit-eating grin on your face. Thankfully, that seems to work – Duke’s face clouds again.

“It was... uncanny,” he grumbles.
>> No. 132938
another two-part update, sorry. Just too much story that needs telling. Which is not bad, just demanding.

>Observe proper library etiquette

You poor, optimistic bastards.
>> No. 132940
File 129462205517.jpg - (27.56KB , 600x601 , yaay.jpg ) [iqdb]
132940
I...

I love you, Duandor.
>> No. 132943
I hate to say but doesn't duke have to go poof soon? As awesome as he is I don't think we're a bad enough dude to kick reality in the face quite yet.
>> No. 132944
>before you realize he just spoke in Vulcan, a terribly obscure elvish dialect

So they really are space elves after all!
>> No. 132945
>>132943

we're a wizard. we only obey the laws of reality when it's convenient for us. sometimes you gotta tell reality to sit down and shut the fuck up, the adults are talking
>> No. 132946
>>132943
What's stopping the wizard from recasting?
>> No. 132950
>>132944
At least he didn't speak in Eldar.
>>132938
Will the second part be today or tomorrow?
>> No. 132951
I was irl lolling by the end of this. A+++ DUKE YOU MAN YOU
>> No. 132952
>>132950
>Will the second part be today or tomorrow?

Probably tomorrow, since I'm up to my ass in late coursework, but the insomnia is strong with this one, so you might get lucky.

tl;dr don't stay up
>> No. 132959
>>132938
>You poor, optimistic bastards.

Damn, at this rate we're never going to recruit Patchy.
>> No. 132960
>>132959
I'd rather have Marisa. Too bad that ship sailed a long, long time ago.
>> No. 132964
>Suwako cocks her head at Duke. “I like you,” she decides.

Duke, you lucky bastard you.

I also have the strangest boner right now.
>> No. 132966
File 129464810121.jpg - (63.31KB , 457x1456 , confused boner.jpg ) [iqdb]
132966
>>132964
>> No. 132967
>>132951
ಠ_ಠ
>> No. 132970
>>132960
I don't think the ship's completely sailed.
>> No. 132976
>>132970
I think that ship sunk faster than the HMS Hood fighting the KMS Bismarck when the Wizard paid Marisa a home visit. Meanwhile the Keine ship is cruising along like the USS Enterprise from 1941 to 1945. By said metaphor, I of course mean that it's kicking so much ass that it should be illegal.

i eagerly await the next part later today. The Wizard's and Duandor's reaction to the resident fiend will be hilarious... for us at least. Suffer not the daemon to live. SMITE EVIL!
>> No. 132980
>>132976

> SMITE EVIL!

That's an interesting way to spell FOR THEE EMPERAH!
>> No. 132983
>>132980
I thought my Imperium of Man and Black Templars sympathies would have been out of line here. But since you brought it up... Write His title correctly. Disrespect to the Emperor of Man is frowned upon, to say the least.

Every Human should know however, that no matter where, no matter when, the Emperor Protects. The Wizard, for his tireless pursuit of Evil and the Inhuman no matter where they hid, certainly has the Emperor's favour and protection.

Suffer not the daemon to live. FOR. THE. EMPEROR.
>> No. 132986
This thread is becoming stranger and stranger each time I peek inside.
>> No. 132988
File 129471065146.jpg - (312.16KB , 576x842 , yuanxiangqingnong.jpg ) [iqdb]
132988
>>132983
Hmm. I am not a 40K fan, but as I understand it: the wizard befriends xenos, is currently flirting with an abhuman, and unrepentantly trafficks with entities from beyond human space. I don't think the Emperor would approve of him, and I don't think he would approve of the Emperor.

More importantly, having been to 40K a few ti-- er, having been to /tg/ a few times, I suggest we not get too deeply into 40K discussion lest we get people chanting PURGE THE XENOS and so forth, which is the quickest way I know to send a non-40K-based quest-thread to BadEndsville.

>I thought my Imperium of Man and Black Templars sympathies would have been out of line here.
... "out of line" is a little harsh, but I guess that is basically what I'm saying, isn't it? (With, I recognize, all the hubris normally required to anonymously dictate social mores.)

>>132986
Pic related?
>> No. 132989
Wait. WAIT.

>>132937
>>“Teacher,” Cirno says grimly, glaring at you, then at Duke. “Give me the hat.”
>>LATER
>>“She’s the attractive bitch, yes?”

Cirno had the hat on. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
>> No. 132990
>>132989

The hat only works with SOME languages... like Draconic and Japanese. It doesn't work with Elvish or Sylvan, or else Keine would have understood him when they first met, and Wizardnon McMagus specifically noted that the Vulcan Duke spoke in was "a terribly obscure elvish dialect neither of you could understand without your tongues spells."

Keine's hat can only translate *certain* languages... not all of them.

(Hope I saged correctly...)
>> No. 132991
>>132976
Nah, I don't think she hates Wizanon. Annoyed with him, yeah, but if we really wanted to salvage our relationship with her I think we could manage it with a good casting of Eagle's Spendor.

Also, this is everyone's weekly reminder that Youmu is going to fucking die if we don't do something about it. I still say we should attempt to get some influence with Patchy in order to hedge against vampire rampages.
>> No. 132992
>>132991
The better course is not to overstep our boundaries more than we have, such as the whole ZUUL affair.
>> No. 133003
>>132992
Definitely agree here. Everyone knows that trying to avert preordained fates only brings them about. You do not try and avoid prophecy - that's just retarded.
>> No. 133005
Hey, you three. Unless you suddenly transform into the writer, use sage unless you vote.
>> No. 133007
>>133005
Better yet, couldn't we move the DISCUSSING to the textboard and have only voting in these threads?
>> No. 133008
>>133007
There are a large body of retards reading this story who don't want that to happen for some god-awful reason.
>> No. 133009
>>133008
Threads are free. I don't give a fuck (I dunno about the writefag) if we end up having one update per thread. The discussions are good.
>>133007
Do you have ADD or something? USE SAGE.
>> No. 133015
>I don't give a fuck (and neither does the writefag, who commented directly about it before!) if we end up having one update per thread. The discussions are good.
My sentiments exactly.

Those of you who keep complaining about these side discussions, stop whining and giving others reason to reply to you and waste more thread space.
>> No. 133017
I would so laugh my arse off if it turns out that Patchy wants nothing to do with Wizanon because of how disrespectful and rude he has been to Remilia.

The two are good firends you know.
>> No. 133023
>>133017
So she might ask for some sort of payment. Big deal. He can just hand her a low level spellbook.
>> No. 133028
>>133023

I would really like to think that Rimilia's friendship is worth more to her than any "payment" he can give.
>> No. 133030
>Suwako cocks her head at Duke. “I like you,”
This story just got more awesome.
>> No. 133031
>>133028
I'd like to think that getting her hands on an entirely new branch of magic matters more to her than the favor of a friend she knows is unstable.
>> No. 133032
>>133031

Said unstable friend still houses a certain magical library she has not finished reading all books of. Or else she wouldn't be reading anything anymore.
>> No. 133033
>>133032
I believe Patchy owns the library. Remilia just gives her space for it.

But all this is a moot point anyway: Remi forced Patchy to let the wizard in the library in the first place. Remember?
>> No. 133044
>>133031
Flan's the unstable one, Remilia's the stable but bratty one. I doubt Patchy would change sides so easily; if anything she'd be a neutral party trying to restrain Remilia's impluses.

Also one must consider what would provoke someone into seriously attacking and killing Youmu as that's provoking something that's better off avoided. That being Yuyuko aka I can kill at will and her good friend Yukari "I can make reality my bitch" Yakumo. For all we know it might be some feral youkai that got a power boost as a indirect result of the Wizard's entrance.
>> No. 133045
>>133044
I know it's a hypothetical, but a single feral youkai doesn't strike me as something that would make Mr. Wizard batshit insane enough to use Tenser's Transformation and become the D&D equivalent of the Hulk. I figure the target of his absolute rage would have to be someone strong enough for him to decide to completely forsake all of his spellhax and rush in to tear out some flesh and blood, like with the illithid from the past.
>> No. 133046
File 129479572050.jpg - (280.00KB , 700x633 , 1285730984433.jpg ) [iqdb]
133046
>>133031
... you disturb me unpleasantly.

That said, I can see Patchouli wanting to take the wizard down a notch, at least symbolically.

And that said:
>>128755
> Patchouli turns the book around in her hands thoughtfully. “Maybe,” she allows. “But a thief that steals from thieves is still a thief, so-”
>
> “Patchouli.” Everyone present turns to look at Remilia. “Let him into the library. In fact, give him a tour.”
>
> Patchouli looks surprised. “But Mistress-”
>
> Remilia simply fixes her tutor with her red-eyed stare, and the pale witch gets a little paler. “As you wish,” she says softly, and lays the book down by her plate.

Emphasis mine, of course. I think people have been ... making unwarranted assumptions concerning Patchouli's relationship with Remilia in this universe.

(As well as the extent to which Patchouli gives a damn about anything ZUUL has to say. For all we know, this Patchouli studied in Maladomini, and picked up Koakuma while she was there.)
>> No. 133062
File 129481782818.png - (654.22KB , 850x637 , sample_54cf59785d6c0c017128ea01885ef56d889f663b.png ) [iqdb]
133062
“It was... uncanny,” Duke grumbles.

“Uncanny?” you ask.

“As in uncanny valley,” Duke mutters. You grimace, an involuntary shudder running down your spine.

“Uncanny valley?” Sakuya asks.

“It’s a valley on my home plane where a lot of Gnomish artificers tend to set up shop, for various reasons,” you explain. “So the place is absolutely lousy with their, er, creations.” You think back to the ones you’ve seen... almost lifelike in appearance, but moving with the stattaco, unnatural jerks.

Things big enough, and often designed, to kill. Moving with stattaco, unnatural jerks.

“Damn, Duke. I, uh, didn’t know. The little doll she had seemed cute.”

“Cute,” Duke mutters darkly. His golden eyes bore into you unblinkingly. “Cute. You don’t know the half of how cute they were.”

“They?”

“Dolls,” Duke says hollowly. “Dolls everywhere.

“That sounds like Alice, all right,” Suwako chimes in. “Nice girl, bit touched in the head.”

“I’m really sorry about that, Duke,” you say consolingly. “I didn’t give you much warning about Gensokyo before I turned you loose. This place is, ah...” you cut your eyes at Keine’s hat, still perched precariously atop Cirno’s head. Duke catches your glance and looks over at the bizarre architectural-themed headwear.

“It’s different,” you conclude.

“It would appear so,” your companion agrees solemnly. “Still, she did detail the information we wanted.”

“Information?” Sakuya asks, but Duke remains silent, letting you take the lead. Duke has a grasp of subtlety rather rare for his kind, which you’ve always appreciated. Sakuya is present, but Remilia already knows you were mucking about in the woods; and you can’t see any advantage to playing cagey there. Suwako, on the other hand, is not only investigating the mysterious forest giant, but also helping the Secret Society track it.

A dozen convoluted plots to hoard your information and smoke out the little goddesses intentions come to mind, only to dissipate harmlessly. As others in Gensokyo have oft lamented, subtlety isn’t your strong suit.

“On the Great Summ- oh fuck it, the forest giant,” you reply. “Who started calling it the ‘GREAT SUMMER YOUKAI?” you say, snorting. “Sounds like one of those overblown titles evil priests are so fond of. If I had a copper for every time somebody threatened me with the wrath of the...” you pause and raise your hands as if beholding something gigantic – “THE GREAT STONE DRAGON, I’d own a keep by now.”

“Except for the incident when they actually had one,” Duke reminds you. “I believe your exact words were ‘holy fuckballs, we’re humped.”

“Bullshit!”

“You were a good fifty yards ahead of me by that point,” Duke admits. “Perhaps I mis-heard.”

“It was a pyroclastic dragon, smartass. It was on fire.

“Magma is technically rock,” Duke observes. “The cultists claim was not incorrect.”

Bite me,” you grumble, and turn your glare on the nearby women, all of whom are hiding their grins rather poorly... except for Suwako, you notice.

“You’re looking for the Great Su- the forest giant?” Suwako asks you, all business. You nod.

“Why?” she asks.

You open your mouth to answer, and stop short. It’s actually a pretty good question, seeing as how it’s only tangentially related to investigating the Secret Society, which in turn is only one lead in yesterday morning’s ghost attack on you and Keine.

“Uh,” you say intelligently.

“Monster hunting is his occupation,” Keine says, coming to your rescue. “A lot like a miko, just without divine backing.”

“Oh,” Suwako says, looking you over thoughtfully. “Must not be bad at it, judging from how you’ve handled yourself so far.” She smirks playfully. “You might even get Reimu to stop the tree-sloth impersonation for a while if she thinks you’re making her look bad.”

“Don’t count on it,” Sakuya mutters. “If our meet-and-greet is quite done, I’d like to get you to the library already. I’ve got too much work to be playing tour guide all day.”

“Of course,” you say. Without further ado, Sakuya leads your little crowd out of the courtyard and down more labyrinthine hallways.

“Are you going with them?” Sakuya asks Suwako.

“I never got to talk to Patchy,” Suwako says, skipping alongside Sakuya. “May as well.”

Keine sidles up to you and nods slightly at Suwako. “What’s she keeping under her hat?”

“My guess is a halfling circus. It’s only a little smaller then their sideshow tent,” you mutter back, and Keine elbows you in the ribs.

“Look who’s talking,” she replies. “Yours looks like a collision between a dunce cap and a planetarium.”

“And yours looks like a re-purposed fairy shrine,” you shoot back. Her foot hooks your boot and quickly sends you sprawling.

“Hey!” you object from the floor.

“You said you liked it!” Keine huffs, crossing her arms.

“I said it was quite ornate,” you remind her, scrambling to your feet. “So are fairy shrines.” You feel eyes on your back, and from the edge of your vision you espy an attentive audience. Sakuya vanishes and reappears momentarily with Meiling gripped in her arms, both of them with the wide eyes of spectators.

You slap your palm to your face, the headlines of tomorrows Bunburu already forming in your mind. EXTRA EDITION! TACTLESS OUTSIDER FINALLY BROACHES TOPIC OF KEINE’S SILLY FUCKING HAT! CROWD FORMED AS HISTORIC EVENT UNFOLDED! FULL DETAILS INSIDE!

“You’ve got some nerve!” Keine yells.

“Hey, hey, it’s just a hat, no need to get all-”

There’s a collective gasp from behind you.

“Just. A. Hat?” Keine bites out, advancing on you. “So YOUR hat is the ‘symbol of eons of wizards’ but MINE is just... a... hat.

Mind Blank is fine and all, but you find yourself wishing you’d prepared quickened teleport this morning.

“And worse, you lied!” Keine bites out. “To my face! I ought to-”

“HEY!” you shout, stepping forward aggressively. “That’s different! I-”

“Oh, do explain,” Keine says sarcastically. “Nobody else has a problem with my hat besides you, mister snap-judgments!”

The way she’s fired up, you’ll be lucky to get a word in edgewise. Better make it count.


[ ] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
[ ] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
[ ] “You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just...”


-----------

This one’s hard, no lie. Consider what Keine’s life in the village has been like. Write-in writers, take note of the last line.
>> No. 133063
File 12948183804.jpg - (120.10KB , 512x512 , 1273990719507.jpg ) [iqdb]
133063
>>132991

People worrying about this is primarily my fault for having left that entire chunk of the plot alone for so long; in no small part because I've had to choose between writing and passing classes for a bit (2:41AM, time for homework!)

We'll be getting back to that pretty soon, however, and anon will have some more concrete options vis a vis keeping Youmu from being mulched. Shit gets done in this story; and I'll be thrice-damned before I let this thread become another "aimless socializing in the SDM" tale.

>>132986
It's glorious, isn't it?

>>133007

If anybody actually used the textboards. They don't, and they're unlikely to start now.
>> No. 133064
[X] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
Blunt honest.
>>133063
>"aimless socializing in the SDM" tale.
Well, if only Suwako will invite us to Moriya Shrine. Since they manage to bring entire shrine through the barrier.
>> No. 133065
[x] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

Keine's power in this story make lying useless against her, or something, right? I can't remember.
>> No. 133066
>>133065
Waiiiiit a second, if that's the case, then I should be picking the pro-lying option. Because it's not true. And compliments her at the same time.

Changing

[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
>> No. 133067
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
awwww
>> No. 133069
>lying

Well, re-reading the original incident (second or third post in the first thread,) it's clear he thought the hat was stupid, and there was a voting option on what to say about her hat, so he was at an impasse when she asked him how he liked her hat. He said "it's quite ornate!" which basically sidestepped it.

-- He chose not to diss her hat, which means the third voting option here is true.

-- We know he finds Keine attractive, and he's got some inner moralfag, so second option is true.

-- He's also lecherous and pretty blunt most of the time; and Keine is pretty, so first option is also 'true.'

All these options are in-character, really, it's just a question of which one will defuse the situation.
>> No. 133070
[X] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

This just sounds more like what Wizardnon would say spontaneously.
>> No. 133071
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”

Clearly the best answer. And the most most likely to stop us getting braincased.
>> No. 133072
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”

ohmy.jpg
>> No. 133073
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”

giggity
>> No. 133074
I can't help but wonder what would happen if he just went balls-to-the-wall and just started pointing out how silly everyone's hats are.

This is one of those times I wish I could actually come up with something decent for a write-in.
>> No. 133075
>>133074
No time.
>> No. 133076
[x] “You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just say 'I've never seen anything like it before in my life that wasn't however many stories tall and filled with priests or cultist whackjobs or whatever.' Plus, do remember that I'm not from this messed up place, so you are the first, last, and ONLY person I've even seen wearing something quite like that. I'd only been IN this messed up land for maybe an hour or two tops, just off of a fight to the death with a freaking dragon, topped off by just managing to survive a potentially terminal airship crash, and wasn't inclined to start ticking off a damn cute woman who was offering to help me.

"It's not like you've TOLD me anything about it, anyway, aside from your nice translation enchantment on it. MY hat's style at least is commonplace enough that even Marisa has something vaguely... if not as impressive... like it. Is it a symbol of station? Perhaps a focus for occult energies? Won it in a card game for someone's soul? I honestly have no fucking clue, and other than you taking pride in it and Cirno snatching your extras, no one's clued me in.

"And just in case you're STILL pissed, let's not forget that at the time you did say you liked my hat, but not five minutes ago you described it as... let me see. Oh yes, 'a collision between a dunce cap and a planetarium.' I don't suppose I'm allowed to be mortally offended now, am I? Since this seems to be just the perfect place and time to get this out of the way."


>>133071
Not necessarily. What if she takes it to mean "I lied about a lot more things just because you were pretty"?

Yes, there's the tangential compliment there, but it opens up a whole flood of things in her currently upset mood.
>> No. 133077
[x] >>133076

I don't know D&D; does wizard have any spells to help him yell louder? Now would be an excellent time to cast one.
>> No. 133080
I don't know what to vote for. I don't like any of the available votes or the write-ins presented so far, either.

The closest thing I found acceptable was
>"And just in case you're STILL pissed, let's not forget that at the time you did say you liked my hat, but not five minutes ago you described it as... let me see. Oh yes, 'a collision between a dunce cap and a planetarium.' I don't suppose I'm allowed to be mortally offended now, am I?
in >>133076. ...By the way, to the author of that same post, please note:
>>133062
>The way she’s fired up, you’ll be lucky to get a word in edgewise. Better make it count.
>This one’s hard, no lie. Consider what Keine’s life in the village has been like. Write-in writers, take note of the last line.

>>133063
>If anybody actually used the textboards. They don't, and they're unlikely to start now.
They have in the past, so please don't discourage them. All the goddamn yammering and game-mechanics-speculating in here drives me insane. This is not /tg/, people. Please don't treat it like it is.
>> No. 133081
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
Blame the planetarium dunce cap
>> No. 133083
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to an attractive bi- pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?” DAMMIT DUKE WHEN I GET A MOMENT ALONE WITH YOU I AM GOING TO TEAR YOU A NEW-
>> No. 133084
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
I think wizardnon is just awkward enough to blurt this out in a pinch. Also it's kind of adorable.
>> No. 133087
Ummm.. I'm not sure that “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?” is a good idea.. It just.. seems something she might take the wrong way?

“You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just...” .. Seems marginally better..

Though mainly I'm just surprised he managed to put his foot in his mouth... was it two or three times now IN A ROW?

Maybe the first thing he should say is "I *don't* have a problem with your hat!" before going on with the explanations/excuses?
>> No. 133089
[x] You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the "don't go there" territory, you have to tell me!

And, for the record, I do like your hat! At first I was kinda stunned by it, mostly because I'd never seen anything like it before, much less someone that made such an improbable hat look so good! I said it was quite ornate because I couldn't think of another way to express my astonishment without sounding crude or insulting. I've only lied to you ONCE since I got we met. You know damn well when I did and what it was about.
>> No. 133090
>>133089
Won't work. He admited to not liking it since... forever.
>> No. 133091
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
>> No. 133096
[ ] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

Let's not 'confess' before everybody.
>[X] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”

So you would keep lieing to Keine because she is pretty. There is more to this option than just complimenting her looks, you know.
>> No. 133097
[X] “You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just...”

Really this is the best option IMO as while they are all trying to sidestep the question this one is the most direct and tasteful of the them as the others can be categorized as simply HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE WONDROUS BREASTS and WAAAH But everyone else is doing it! I feel that this is a more heartfelt and truly superior response and explanation of why Wizardnon said what he said.
>> No. 133098
[X] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

I'd rather go for the subtle complement than admit to being nervous.
>> No. 133099
Urk. Well, first choice is an obvious landmine. But the others two aren't, perfect either... One I have the problem with the lying part, the other feels like we took pity on her.

Demetrious said to think about her life. I admit I can't choose yet. Going to reread some parts first.
>> No. 133100
All of them sound sorta good on the surface, but with inspection they all have negative implications that Keine could focus on.

>[] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
The hat is obviously important to her, making light of it and trying to make a pass at her in the same sentence? Bad idea.

>[] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
The worst thing about this is we're admitting to lying, as well as potentially saying we don't actually like her hat. Which is bad.

>[] “You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn't just...”
This seems worst of all, since we're not even trying to compliment her or reassure her that her hat is okay, if anything it makes it seem like he's taking pity on her.
>> No. 133101
[x] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

"Getting nervous" in front of a cute face sounds like a morbidly lame excuse. Who cares if she will believe it or not. It makes him sound like a socially awkward neckbeard who hasn't seen a girl in some twenty years-- oh wait.

The first option is more direct and to-the-point, exactly the way Mr. Wizard does things. Even if it backfires, it's more true to his nature to retort in such a blunt way.

I also like the >>133076 write-in, but I don't particularly enjoy writing entire paragraphs of dialogue for our writefag to build around.
>> No. 133104
>>133101
Write-in won't fly. As last line said, Keine will interrupt him WAY before we're done.

What may shock Keine here I think is to say we treated her like any normal girl. She's always been treated different in the village, right?

Anyway, first option is out for me. Will make Wizard sound like a smartass and will pretty much net us an headbutt I think.
>> No. 133105
From what she says, she's obviously having serious issues about the fact that she thinks we lied to her. In that light, telling her that we consider lying to a pretty girl a flippant, unimportant thing strikes me as just about the worst thing we could do in this situation.

[x] "I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"
>> No. 133108
[X] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”

>>133105
I like it but there was some mention about not lying to her since it won't work?
>> No. 133109
>>133101
>>133104
Insightful comments. Her life in the village has been one of social isolation, even as she acts as its protector and teacher. Her hat may be a form of outcry for attention. Keine couldn't have teased the Wizard about his hat and not expected a reply in kind, she has displayed enough of an understanding of the Wizard to know that.

It may be a test of sorts. Her tone shifted from teasing to defensive and then aggressive far too quickly, the transition jarring to the eyes in the text. I would have expected at least a noticeable beat in the conversation. Recall Demetrious' earlier words, she considers herself human (an heterosexual woman, to be precise) and the villagers have always kept her slightly away, fearful and distrustful of her strength and powers, barely different from the youkai she guards them from.

She might have engineered the situation by starting the banter and is now testing us to see if we do, in fact, regard her as a desirable woman instead of something to be feared. We have treated Keine normally when she was kind to us, but she could wonder if we can still do so when faced with her anger. Using an argument over her hat, a touchy subject one would assume, to give gravity and seriousness to her anger in her test would be a most cunning way to elicit a truthful reaction from the Wizard.

In such a case, the option which seems the most dangerous
>[] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
might in fact be the right one to make. It could effectively show her that, despite her strength and powers, we are not intimidated and still see her as a peer, which includes calling a peer out when said peer says something ridiculous or makes a mistake.

Alternatively, it could truly be a touchy subject for Keine, at which point this humble poster knows not the way to follow. But, after a good deal of reflection, I cannot see Keine not anticipating that the Wizard would likely respond tit for tat to her pique on his hat. The situation feels too engineered for it to be truly accidental.

However, one would tell his fellow posters the following advice: "Who Dares, Wins."
Do not meekly back away, friends. A write-in can be appropriately cut down to fit.

Perhaps we could ask Demetrious for an hint, or to pick out the most appropriate line to say out of the many proposed in a write-in. As he has said, this choice is a hard one to make, tread carefully my friends. This choice must not be one of a bandwagon.
>> No. 133110
"Liking a hat and thinking it's good looking are completely different things! You think I wear this because I want to be popular at parties?! Geniuses have the RIGHT to look silly!"

That's probably what I'd end up saying, or something like it. I sincerely doubt it would defuse the situation, but I'm not very tactful in the first place, ahaha.

Also, it sure would have been helpful to have cast Foresight, say, ten minutes ago.

Not picking an option, because I really, really can't decide.
>> No. 133111
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”

This seems like the most amusing option.
>> No. 133114
>>133108
Well, it's the damn truth (from our point of view and the Wizard's, I'd wager).

[x] >>133105

Count me in for that option. The damn plain truth that her hat is silly, yes, and we like it like that. Because in the end, it is HER hat. It's a silly hat, but she chose to wear it and damn it, she could make a burlap sack look sexy and fashionable. And it's okay to have a little quirk like that, to enjoy and love a silly hat like that, because it's part of her charm, or her personality, of herself.

Because personally, I like her hat and yet still find it silly.
>> No. 133119
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?
>> No. 133122
[x] "I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"

I'll go with this, too.
>> No. 133123
>>133105
>>133122
I like it but it's a little close to the "it's okay to look silly since you're pretty" thing. Maybe just:

[x]"I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! Because it's YOUR hat!"
>> No. 133125
[x] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
>> No. 133128
I think that it might be valuable to focus on Keine rather than the hat specifically. It's a symbol of some sort, and important to her obviously - but it's just the tip of the iceberg, not the emotional core of the issue. What's important to her is something or somethings attached to the hat, emotional or nostalgic or prestige-related.

That all said, I'm not exactly a master wordsmith, but something along the lines of "You're more important to me than the hat." miiiiight be decent to interrupt her building-up onslaught and potentially defuse the rant, though I'm not really happy with the specific wording. The point I was trying to get across with it was that A. wiznon likes her for what she is, B. lol interrupt building rage, poooossssibly with a side-dish of C. not very subtle compliment. Honestly, I don't know that there's really a "correct" answer here, Wiznon already fucked up, but getting the situation under control and heading off her rage might be a good first step, at least.
>> No. 133129
[x] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
>> No. 133131
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
>> No. 133132
[x] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
>> No. 133133
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
>> No. 133134
Did the Wizard put his foot in his mouth on autopilot? Seesh... well stick a fork in this thead, it's done as far as updates go.
>> No. 133136
>>133134
Come to think of it, Keine really did anger quick. Either the hat subject is really sensible for her... or is Remilia using some fate manipulation here?
>> No. 133137
[x] Call upon Duke for Aid(or a distraction)
Ex: "Duke, what do you think about her hat?"
>> No. 133139
>>133136
That might be possible, Remilia would have had enough time to work about such a slight muckery. I'm not even sure on what to vote for as it's basically a crap shoot that requires reading the author's mind to get a remote clue on it.
>> No. 133140
[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
>> No. 133142
What you need to make clear is that you didn't 'lie to her face'. But since she knows you think it's silly, backpedaling completely will just reify the idea that you're just some shameless liar.

But it's not just about you. Keine has some backwards ideas about how other people perceive her, just by the fact that she exploded over it in front of Gensokyo's strongest. She seems to attribute the respect and deference given to her to her hat as a symbol of her position. However, all the important folks seem to know her on a first-name basis, and in a land where people will go so far as to challenge the gods, the yama, or the creatrix of Gensokyo herself, if Keine is respected, it's probably more for her personality and the power she wields than any title, office, or heirloom she holds.

Right now she's advancing and probably ready to unleash a scathing verbal assault. So you got to surprise her, goad her, keep her off balance until you can make your point.

[x] Don't bother standing up.
[x] Cast disguise self. Alter only the dimensions and appearance of your hat to match Keine's hat.
[x] "If you can look me in the eye and say with a straight face that I project an air of sagacity and authority, then, well, I'll eat my silly hat."
[x] "So if it's not your hat Keine, it must be something else about you that leaves grown men sprawled on the ground and sputtering nonsense. I'll tell you, it's not the leg sweeps and headbutts."
[x] If you can't get a word in edgewise, it may be time to break out a calm emotions scroll and have everybody just chill~.

At the least this should show he doesn't take his own headgear as seriously as their friendship. Hopefully Keine will realize that it isn't sheer necessity that's keeping Mr. Wizard around.

The particular spell on that scroll is not to the unacceptable degree of mind-control as other enchantments, but it's unavailable to wizards. Therefore, these presumptive scrolls were doubtlessly purchased from some shady druid or flower cleric on a distant plane, maybe for recreation, maybe as a lark, but as a level 2 spell, the cost is a trifle. 'Everybody' includes the Wizard, though Suwako will probably make her save, and depending on how effective it is on the others, may be quite entertained by the result.
>> No. 133143
>>133142

Seconded, with the minor provision that we state that as un-sexually as possible.
>> No. 133147
>>133142

Thirded.
>> No. 133150
>>133142
I for myself fail to see how this is supposed to calm Keine. If she let us time to do all that in the first place.
>> No. 133153
As the then-unsatisfied author of >>133080, I have to say I like >>133142 much better than anything I saw last night or this afternoon.

Whoever wrote it, thank you. Count me onboard.

[x] >>133142 with the caveat added in >>133143.

Praying Demetrious is going with a "best logic wins" mentality here, because this seems to be not only the most sensible vote, but the least stupid and least awkward one, as well.
>> No. 133156
[X] >>133142
This is the write-in I've been waiting for.
>> No. 133157
>>133142

This, fucking this.
>> No. 133158
>“I said it was quite ornate,” you remind her, scrambling to your feet.
Wizard is already standing up, FYI.

>>133142

Ehh... I'll vote "anything but this", unless Demetrious reinterprets it with liberal amounts of dignified, wizardly swearing. It just seems like some ridiculously complicated plotting for a heat-of-the-moment thing. Mister Wizard's way of dealing with things is by butting heads with people. Keine's way is by headbutting people. Neither of them is really diplomatic enough to smoothly fix this situation.
>> No. 133159
[X] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”
>> No. 133160
[x] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

The other choices feel even wronger. Fuck it. At least this one faces the issue.
>> No. 133162
File 129489268234.jpg - (183.36KB , 580x400 , Ice Cream Hat.jpg ) [iqdb]
133162
It's frankly ridiculous of Keine to take umbrage at a casual comment about her hat, especially after she's just made a mirror-image comment.

Therefore, the proper response is to be even more ridiculous.

[a] Open mouth, as though to speak.
[a] Close mouth.
[a] Pull hat down over head.
[a] Proceed onward, as though you'd just made a point.

Alternately:
[b] Remove hat.
[b] Casually toss hat aside without looking away from Keine.
[b] Wait patiently for Keine's response.

Alternately:
[c] "Trade you."

Alternately:
[d] Kiss the girl.

----

(Besides, "refuge in audacity" is practically Wizanon's middle name.)
>> No. 133165
>>133129
This. This is the best option.
>> No. 133166
>>133165
So, in case it wasn't clear, I vote:

[x] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
>> No. 133170
[x] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
>> No. 133171
[x] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"

That's a good one.
>> No. 133173
I almost feel that we should just throw in every option and write-in and see what happens.
Aside from the writer self-combusting in frustration trying to make it all work somehow.
>> No. 133175
>>133173
I'd think he'd sooner try to make a winning mix.

Also DAMMIT, REMILIA!
>> No. 133176
[x] >>133142
>> No. 133177
Fucking up and pissing off Keine would make the story much more interesting. It's win-win!

Now quit worrying so much.
>> No. 133178
[x]"I DO like your hat, fairy shrine and all! Because it's YOUR hat!"

Seems like the best option to me. It's a compliment that doesn't leave much room for double meanings to be twisted into more fuel for the rant, and it firmly places the hat as "not bad, but not the point".

I also believe it could lead into a wonderful double take as the realization of what he just said, in front of a lot of people, actually means.
The only person missing is Aya to spread vile lies the news.
Come to think of it, didn't we promise her an interview at some point?
>> No. 133184
[x]"I DO like your hat, fairy shrine and all! Because it's YOUR hat!"

Stealing this to be my vote.
>> No. 133185
First option sounds WAY too condescending.

The second option is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE choice, I can't believe people are voting for it. It involves us admitting to being a liar AND shifting blame ("everyone does it"), two very negative traits. For the love of god, do not pick this option.

The third option is clearly the best; by wanting to see her happy it makes us seem more caring and warm. The reason that only one person so far has voted for this option is because everyone is distracted by the "cute" red herring in option 2. Option 3 seems platonic in comparison because it doesn't have "cute" in it. But it really isn't -- because it implies that for once in our life we showed verbal restraint. Keine must CLEARLY be something special to us if we did that.


TL;DR: VOTE 3 OH GOD

[X] You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just...
>> No. 133186
[X] You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just...
>> No. 133187
[x] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
>> No. 133188
[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
>> No. 133194
>>133185
Someone didn't bother reading why we thought third choice is the most horrible in most opinions it seems...
>> No. 133195
>>133194
Because it makes us seem like we're pitying her? I guess I can see that angle but I don't think Keine will take it that way. Plus, its pretty much the truth anyway, isn't it? We chose that choice in the first (?) thread because we wanted to see Keine happy.

In any case I refuse to believe it is worse than the second choice, the blatant admission to lying and weak-ass blame shifting are way worse than possible implications of pity.
>> No. 133197
I'm just going to point out that if you use Silent Image instead of Disguise Self you can make EVERYONE wear the mouse temple hat while making your point about it.
>> No. 133199
[x] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

I wonder what's going to be written now.
>> No. 133201
This one's gonna be a train wreck, I can tell. Let us hope Demetrious is kind. At least I don't think we rolled a nat 1, so it can't end with the entire SDM on fire and the Blood War spilling out into Gensokyo.

... At least I don't think so.
>> No. 133202
>>133195
Except the third option is also blatant admitting to lying. It's not a good choice either by your own criteria.
>> No. 133206
>[x] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
-1 vote
>>133142
Whatever. Count me in.
>> No. 133207
[X] “That’s because most people aren’t looking at your hat when they talk to you, dear.”

>[ ] “Everybody lies when they’re talking to a pretty girl, dammit! I got nervous, okay?”
>[ ] “You were so happy when I noticed your hat, I couldn’t just...”
>[ ]"I DO like your hat, fairy shrine and all! Because it's YOUR hat!"
Beta as fuck.
>> No. 133208
>>133202
Its less blatant than number 2 still. The thing that makes number 2 worse is mainly the blame-shifting.

I guess it isn't so much admitting to lying but acting like a liar that is the bad thing.

Besides this, does it bug anyone else that none of the responses, hell, none of the write-ins, have the word "Sorry" in them?
>> No. 133209
[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"

>>133208

U MAD?

Seriously, this is being IC for him. And I don't think Keine will be rather receptive to one In fact, it may have her go on a rant.

Followed by a 1d100 damage headbutt.
>> No. 133210
[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
>> No. 133213
Deleted my vote, which I was already unsure of, for

[x] "I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"

To be honest, I think a combo of this + "You just called mine..." would work. Still think we should say we like hers first however.
>> No. 133214
Counting all these votes and thousand variations of write-ins must be a pain. I don't envy you, Demetrious.
>> No. 133215
>>133209
>U MAD
Nah, more frustrated. I wonder if our wizard can cast Cure Disease to cure himself of his aspergers.
>> No. 133216
>>133214
>He thinks he counts them.
You think he counts them? He just picks whatever he feels like writing at the moment. Nobody will notice anyway since there's a ton of votes and other unrelated shit to cover it up. Joking, obviously
>> No. 133217
>>133215
>aspergers
word, does not mean, you think, etc. etc.
>> No. 133218
>>133214
You know, I can't remember the last time I saw voters this divided. There are many supporters for all three votes and pretty much most of the write-ins.
>> No. 133220
>>133201
... If that happened I'd predict the winner of the Blood War to be Gensokyo
>> No. 133221
>>133220
In before Makai civil war.
>> No. 133222
[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
[x] "Besides, I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"
>> No. 133223
>>133222
Works fine enough combined.
[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
[x] "Besides, I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"
>> No. 133224
>>133220
I don't man, there's an awful [infinite] lot of demons involved, and devils are pretty badass.
>> No. 133228
File 129499811061.jpg - (1.23MB , 1000x1000 , 1284021163967.jpg ) [iqdb]
133228
Reimu is going to beat the crap out of him.
>> No. 133241
This is >>133076, changing my vote to


[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
[x] "Besides, I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"

I suppose I did make my write in too long... ah well... at least some people liked it.
>> No. 133245
>>133224
Ms. gaphax could instantly shut down their mobility (between dimensions) or just make all their interdimensional travel retarget to a sphere of annihilation.

Ms. Timehax has indefinite timestop

Ms. Nuclearhax ... you get the idea
>> No. 133248
>>133245
This is why I hate no limits fallacies in any setting. Because with cases like these, we have to bring in the Time Lords if there's a dimensional event that requires the dimension to be purged.

Do you have any idea how irritating it is to work with the Time Lords? Much more irritating then dealing with Yukari, and the Time Lords are on your side!
>> No. 133250
>>133248
>implying Yukari, Miss Pledged her Life to Everlasting Peace, isn't on our side
>> No. 133261
>>133250
Define peace.
>> No. 133263
>>133261
Define semantic argument.
>> No. 133264
>>133250
What side she's on is a big mystery in this story.
>> No. 133271
>>133264
Duh. She hasn't shown up yet.

The premise of the story, though, is D&D vs Touhous. It'd be silly to deviate too much from either canon.
>> No. 133276
This is >>133089 Here. Changing vote to simplified and reduced version.

[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
[x] "Besides, I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"
>> No. 133288
Guess I'll go with this.

[X] "You just called mine the collision of a dunce cap and a planetarium, I thought giving back a good natured jab at your hat was fair game. If it has a special significance to you that puts it into the 'don't go there' territory, you have to tell me!"
[x] "Besides, I DO like your hat! Fairy shrine and all! There isn't a hat in this whole crazy plane silly enough that you couldn't make it look good!"
>> No. 133290
>>133271
more like the two meeting; stuff like ZUUL and thinking of things in a combative tense are what will very well likely lead to Youmu's death.
>> No. 133298
>>133290
we don't know that. For all we know, it's STOPPING Zuul that will kill her in the end. After all, the current trend of events is naturally toning that down, which means that resisting the change would be an attempt to resist the rut carved into the future
>> No. 133299
We can only kill Youmu ourself to prevent her "to be death" from happening. But we can`t escape fate.
>> No. 133306
I have a plan. (this is a bad sign)

Instead of trying to fight destiny and prevent her from dying ... It'd be easier to just kill her and then revive her. Yeeessss!! It will work pefectly! And then wizanon will show them, show them ALL! -evil laughter- (see I told you it was a bad thing)
>> No. 133307
Yuyuko has a plan. Rather than let her servant die; she'll trap Youmu's soul in the Netherworld so they can be together forever.

Youki found out about that fate. That's why he ran away.
>> No. 133313
>>133306
...don't do that.
>> No. 133314
>>133298
I beg to differ as the death flag announcement was made after a showing of particular arrogance if not the original act of ZUUL. Such actions aggervate things in Gensokyo, increasing the likely hood of the balance of power being disrupted. You know something like curing Patchy in light of how easily Remilia orders her around. Such a thing might enbolden Remilia to try taking over Gensokyo.
>> No. 133318
>>133314
Yaknow, reading your post made me remember the scene in Soul Nomad where the protagonists go to Drazil and Gig remarks that it's like a mobile graveyard.
>> No. 133320
Demetrious, you have to update more often before all the write-ins undergo some sort of gravitational collapse.
>> No. 133332
I think Demetrious said that Youmu was already fated to die as part of the plot, and the dream simply revealed that to us. Continuing to screw up means we won't be able to save her when the time comes.
>> No. 133335
>>133332
It's just too bad that we don't know what "screw up" actually means as far as Youmu's death is concerned.
For all we know, "ZUUL!" might be the one to save her.
>> No. 133340
>>133335
I'm pretty sure that isn't the case; arrogant acts and antagonizing powerful faction heads rarely ends well for anyone not named Yukari Yakumo.
>> No. 133342
>>133340
Assuming one way or another based on information that was never granted in-story by the writer rarely ends well for anyone. It happened in other stories: the author drops a clue and the collective Anon takes it to mean they are doing something wrong, and then they start moving toward the absolute opposite extreme to cause the trainwreck itself. Or maybe it becomes completely different trainwreck, but ultimately it's the same result of failure. And really, this just leads to the character flip-flopping all over the place until they end up at the bottom of the LAKE.

Just vote sensibly, and whatever might happen will happen. Or not.
>> No. 133346
>>133340
I'm not saying that more ZUUL is the answer, either. All I'm saying is that we only know two things:
1. Wizardnon had a vision of the future in which she died.
2. He might be able to do something, since he knows about it.

What that something is is impossible to know, though, so meta-voting is rather pointless as it is all up to Demetrious in the end anyway. He could decide Youmu will survive as long as we don't do anything that would obviously lead to her getting killed and the whole thing was just to add a bit of drama, or he could say that since Wizardnon didn't wear a pink tutu to breakfast a mystical, and now unstoppable as the tutu was his final chance, chain of events was set in motion which ultimately leads to her death.

Besides, isn't arrogantly antagonizing everything and anything what being a D&D PC is all about?

Not that I'm saying we should be overly antagonistic towards anyone. I just don't agree with those who thinks they know what Wizardnon must do to save Youmu.

Me, I'm just gonna go along with the story and try to choose what seems like the most in character votes to me, and what happens happens.
>> No. 133348
>>133346
Agreed. Essentially we have no idea whether the dream was a 'true' prophesy, or self-fulfilling one. Stay the course until if/when we get more details on it.
>> No. 133426
File 129555409674.jpg - (117.84KB , 500x500 , 1658e8885103abb4afa603246a5d0235508ab590.jpg ) [iqdb]
133426
[X] AGGROPEASE! (Aggro now, pease later.)


“Oh, do explain,” Keine says sarcastically. “Nobody else has a problem with my hat besides you, mister snap-judgments!”

Your swelling anger bears a dozen sharp replies to the tip of your tongue, only to sink after your stomach. Keine is raging at you, and you have no fucking clue what you did to earn it. You’ve never expected the Universe to be fair, but this is actively cruel.

“FORGET your fucking hat!” you wail, your hands shaking with impotent frustration. “Everybody lies a little to pretty girls I got nervous is that a capital offense seriously what’s your damage.”

“I’ll damage you, asshole!” Keine snaps back automatically. “You misera.... damn... what?” She stares at you, realizing what you just said.

“I said...” You stop short as you realize what you just said. “I said, uh. that... fuck!” you conclude intelligently, slamming your fisted hand into your palm.

Keine makes a few abortive attempts at speech, her face flushing bright red now, eyes wet. Finally; “B-but you made fun of my hat! You like your stupid hat so much, that’s not fair!” Warming to the assault, she thrusts a finger at you, eyes afire. “A-and you’re making fun of everybody’s hat because you’re a rude judgmental asshole!

She’s got you dead to rights on that one, all right. But objective reality is on your side, for a change. You snatch your wizard hat from your head, thrust your hand deep into the magic pocket of your robe, and don Keine’s spare hat. You’re not sure when you put there, but it’s there nonetheless.

With the absurd pagoda precariously balanced on your dome, you cross your arms and glower at the red-faced schoolteacher with wounded dignity. “Look me in the fucking eye and tell me that this isn’t a silly hat.”

Keine’s jaw tenses, and you flinch back as she swings, but her blow only knocks the hat off your head.

“That’s MY. HAT!” Keine wails. “How could you!?”

Again with the goddamn hat!

“It’s not about the stupid HAT!” you wail back, hands tugging at the brim of your own headgear in frustration. “Nobody’s looking at your goddamn hat when they talk to you, woman! Do you even own a mirror?”

Keine’s hands ball into fists, and now a few tears slip from her angry eyes. “Bullshit! BULLSHIT! You leer at every piece of ass in Gensokyo!” she spits out. “D-don’t flatter me, I don’t believe it! N-nervous my ass!” Her broken words are forced out with little conviction.

Your mental train jumps the tracks and goes skipping across the fields shouting MUSKMELONS!

You open your mouth, finger raised to mark a salient argument point.

Muskmelons!

You close your mouth.

You pick up your wizard hat, and jam it onto your head triumphantly, cock it at a rakish angle and storm past Keine authoritatively.

You think you hear somebody sobbing in the hallway behind you, and the knot in your stomach tightens painfully.

At some point in your retreat, you become aware of the muted footsteps of followers, and you spin round on the small crowd of people following you.

“What the fuck are you clowns looking at!?” you snap.

“You made teacher cry...” Cirno says softly, peering up at you from underneath the brim of Keine’s spare hat.

“Fusking upshut y-you dumblefug- shumblit- you-” you grind out through a haze of rage and shame.

Suwako steps in, clamping a hand firmly over Cirno’s mouth. “Hey, take it easy,” she says. “She did mock your hat. She had no right to take such umbrage.”

“I think she realized it, too,” Sakuya says thoughtfully. She’s contemplating you with that cool look of hers, though at the moment you don’t really care.

“I know!” you tell Suwako. “She pegged the bullshit meter! Just because I look at other women doesn’t mean – we’re not even...” You grit your teeth and make a good effort at swallowing your own bullshit.
You turn from the group, and slump against the wall, letting the brim of your hat shield your face.

“Duke?” you ask the Archon in Celestial. “What the hell just happened?”

“I am afraid I don’t know,” Duke replies. “I’m afraid I don’t understand humans well enough for such analysis. However, she does reek of the mating hormone.”

“... well that’s good, I guess.”

“The bovine mating hormone, to be precise.”

“... or not.”

“Please don’t feel bad,” Meiling says. “We’ve been waiting for years for somebody to tell Keine her hat is... uh...”

“-rambunctiously ludicrous,” Sakuya finishes.

“Nobody’s been brave enough to actually bring it up!” Meiling says with the excitement of one who’s witnessed history. “I’ve no idea how you didn’t get your head caved in.”

“I do,” Suwako says, trading a smirk with Sakuya.

“Oh gods, the hat,” you moan. “Everywhere.... hats.” The word scrapes out from stony lips. “What in the name of the Nine Hells is the hang-up on headwear in this lunatic asylum!?”

For a moment, all the women assembled stare at you exactly as if you’d transformed into a fire-breathing unicorn. (You’re familiar with the expression from the time you actually did.) A perfectly impassive Duke turns his eyes to you in silent query, and you can only shrug.

Sakuya sighs, and shakes her head. “Speaking of hats, Miss Moryia, I should return yours.”

“Oh, you picked it up!” Suwako says, delighted. Sakuya reaches behind her back, and brings out the huge brown trash-bin the little goddess calls a ‘hat.’ She holds it out to Suwako.

You stare at the elegant head maid for a long moment as the smooth motion of producing the alleged hat replays in your mind. From nowhere, a hat. From nothing it was given, and from nothing it was retrieved.

“You.” Your thin voice slices through the air.

“Eh?” Sakuya looks at you, and is slightly taken aback by your grim expression.

“You,” you repeat. “You can manipulate spatial relationships?”

“Well, yes,” Sakuya acknowledges with a shrug. “Like you can, with your pocket and such.”

You remember that uncanny feeling you’d felt minutes earlier in the courtyard, before Duke arrived, when you were trying to make your mental maps of the Scarlet Devil Mansion jell. A terrible dread sweeps through you.

“How far?” you ask in brittle tones.

“What?”

”How far can you... manipulate?”

Sakuya smiles a little too perfectly; she’s been waiting for you to ask this question. “Why... the whole mansion, actually.”

Her frigid little smile fades a bit as your stare slips from ‘haggard’ to ‘morbid.’

“I... the library’s just down the hall. I have chores to do,” she says a little too hastily, turning her back to you and striding away quickly. Your empty glare chases her down the hallway as she flees.

“Well...” Meiling says awkwardly. “Should, uh, somebody check on Keine?”

“I think we should give her some time to calm down,” Suwako says. You catch her sidelong glance at you.

“I am just fine, thank you,” you lie stiffly. You jerk your thumb at the huge double doors a little ways down the hall behind you. “Let’s just get to that damn library before I die of old age, okay?”

Suwako shrugs. “If you say so,” she agrees, and moves to don her hat. As the huge headwear is turned upright, it looks around.

You close your eyes, pinch the bridge of your nose, and take a deep breath. That blowup with Keine rattled you worse then you thought, if your subconscious is projecting sentience onto your headwear persecutors. The real problem isn’t the hats, it’s directly under them. You briefly wonder if it’s safe to drink the water around here, and open your eyes.

The eyes are still there.

Massive, piercing eyes fix their terrible leer upon you. In their fathomless depths you witness the glint of malevolent intelligence, of ancient hate. The Hat spears you with its gaze, and you feel spacetime warp and collapse till there is only you and the Hat, gazes locked for all eternity. You have stared too long into the hats, and now the hats stare into you.

You feel your soul slipping, drawn towards the inexorable pull of the infinite emptiness at the bottom of those hideous pupils. With horrible clarity, you realize what this creature is.

"I... AM... PYONTA...!"

[ ] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
[ ] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK
[ ] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
>> No. 133428
It feels a bit Mary Sueish, the way everyone's all up and agreeing with him so agreeably.

Just my two cents in.
>> No. 133429
File 129555462297.jpg - (67.96KB , 460x300 , 1276063741248.jpg ) [iqdb]
133429
All the write-ins had a surprisingly uniform amount of support; all in the 10-14 votes range, and the second-place ones scored pretty close as well (8 or 9) so I'll be using all of them in appropriate order, sooner or later.
>> No. 133430
File 129555545347.jpg - (19.26KB , 469x304 , not_sure_if_serious.jpg ) [iqdb]
133430
>>133428

Do tell.
>> No. 133432
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK

ROOKIE MCWIZARD USED FIRE BLAST
>> No. 133433
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
Panic is the best and in fact only response to any and all situations.
>> No. 133434
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

Goddamn Greys.

This is the way to go. I hate it when my Rookies shoot up the rest of the team and charge into the ship alone to die horribly.

It's even worse when they get controlled. Panic is the best option.

XCOM: HAT DEFENSE
>> No. 133435
File 129556008074.jpg - (4.17KB , 126x124 , 1293389073054.jpg ) [iqdb]
133435
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
what
the
>> No. 133438
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133439
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED.
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS DROPPED HIS WAND
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS SPUN ROUND TWICE ON THE SPOT
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS SHAT HIS PANTS
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS SHOT CMDR DUKE IN THE FACE
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS RUN INTO THE LIBRARYRANGER
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS RUN OUT OF TU
>> No. 133440
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

We have been shown the ultimate hatness, no sane mind can't not flee from such eldritch abominations.
>> No. 133442
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

Fucking Ethereals!
>> No. 133443
I find interesting that everyone has reacted so fast and decisively. Must be the old X-Com reflex memory.
>> No. 133444
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
Well this sounds fun!
>> No. 133446
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK HAPPENED TO MIND BLANK?!

FUCK

[x]... under PYONTA'S control.
>> No. 133447
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
Why does no one else want this?
>> No. 133448
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
Why does no one else want this?
>> No. 133449
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133450
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK

He's faced Eldritch Abominations worse than this. The fact that this hat is producing the same reaction should mean he's getting pissed, not shitting his pants. And the last time I checked, the hat isn't a Reaper, so it should be ASSUMING CONTROL of our Wizard.
>> No. 133451
>>133450

Damn it, I meant shouldn't, not should.
>> No. 133453
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
Tides.
>> No. 133455
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
No ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL this time please.
>> No. 133457
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD CANNOT GRASP THE TRUE FORM OF PYONTA'S ATTACK!
>> No. 133459
File 129556820638.jpg - (41.81KB , 750x600 , bard.jpg ) [iqdb]
133459
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED.

>>133439
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD OPENED THE DOOR
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD GOT ON THE FLOOR
>ROOKIE MCWIZARD USED MASS CHARM AND EVERYONE DID THE DINOSAUR

It's times like this where I wish we were a bard. The disco ball spell would be so hilariously out of place right now that it's perfect for this situation.

On an alternative note, I'd prefer to get control of that hat instead of allowing it to control us. And dammit we have Mind Blank active already, this hat thing isn't affecting us.

In other words, this is our own internal insanity finally taking root.
>> No. 133460
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
This just sounds too fun to pass up.
>> No. 133462
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

....that feels bad man.
>> No. 133464
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133466
Oh great, Wizardnon's having a 'Nam flashback.
>> No. 133467
>>133460
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL

All will obey the hypno-hat.
>> No. 133468
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK
>> No. 133470
File 129557347616.jpg - (573.73KB , 750x1800 , CHORIISSU.jpg ) [iqdb]
133470
Pyonta-kun has evolved!

[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133471
File 129557435543.jpg - (19.84KB , 256x222 , Gauntlet_2_NES_ScreenShot2.jpg ) [iqdb]
133471
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS SHOT THE FOOD
>> No. 133472
>>133459
>And dammit we have Mind Blank active already, this hat thing isn't affecting us.

Hm, do we? I don't recall Demetrious writing about Rookie casting Mind Blank this morning, only Detect Scrying.

Gotta cast those spells, folks, not just prepare them.

Not gonna vote, but I kind of hope this ends with Rookie here screaming at his own hat about it turning traitor, conspiring against him and such with all the other hats to bring him to a demiplane ruled by terrible monster hats. Why has it brought him here to this impossible realm of googly hats and assorted hattish madness?! Then, perhaps, a manic acceptance of its apology, if his hat is sufficiently sincere. After all, this could be a terrible misunderstanding, or perhaps his hat was never conspiring against him at all; it could be a dreadful ploy on the part of the mastermind hats, trying to turn him against the only hat that has ever been truly loyal to him, through dungeons and demiplanes and the netherhells themselves. Think about it. There's some serious potential for hat development here. I mean character development. That's what I said. Yes.
>> No. 133473
[X] ROOKIES MCWIZARD'S MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN
>> No. 133474
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133476
File 129557943969.png - (14.00KB , 400x400 , e0859f225909030f9ce3542377ae0a251259a068.png ) [iqdb]
133476
Just to be clear, Mind Blank is how Wizard will escape the hat's control.

.... eventually.
>> No. 133477
>>133476
While you're here, what's going to be the update schedule from now on? Weekly or something?

Also, it's rather obvious that Rookie McWizard should have been equipped with a grenade set to 0 turns and primed in his hand. Because Tentaculats.

Whimper.
>> No. 133478
>>133472
Sounds like we'd be shaping up for a Companion Cube type of crisis. Thing is, our precious Dunce Cap Planetarium of Scintillating Colors has not yet threatened to stab us, nor has it yet been shown to speak.
>> No. 133479
[x] ZUUL MCWIZARD IS ALREADY ANGRY AND NOT AMUSED BY PYONTA'S BULLSHIT

So yeah I guess that's a vote for "berserk"
>> No. 133480
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL

Should have build a psi-training facility. Goddamn it.
>> No. 133481
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133482
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133483
[X] URIST MCPROTAGONIST, WIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK!
>> No. 133484
File 129558484929.jpg - (411.25KB , 1200x900 , 913f539990bd5927c66ba82cb1462d98.jpg ) [iqdb]
133484
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
taking the time to say i fucking love you for this story Demetrious
>> No. 133485
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK

Destroy the abomination!
>> No. 133486
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

Did someone dose his bagel with something (other than him adding cream cheese)?
>> No. 133488
Wait. Duke managed to survive a full night inside a house filled with dolls staring at him, some with eyes half-sewn on or missing. Sure he came back emotionally scarred for life, but he survived without trashing the place or gutting himself. Mr. Wizard looks at Suwako's hat's eyes for a mere few seconds before being overcome with madness.

That will save needs to be stacked just a little bit more.
>> No. 133489
>>133486
I think Remilia's mucking about with Fate, it also explains Keine snapping out.

That or it's everyone's favorite mindfucker, Koishi.
>> No. 133490
>>133430
I'm not that guy, but it is a little weird how everyone took our side instead of Keine's. Well, except for Cirno, but Suwako shushed her. I mean, making girls cry isn't a cool thing to do.
>> No. 133491
>>133490

Do remember just how abruptly Keine flipped her shit on him. The others don't know about Wiznon's other dickery (though he's obviously feeling guilt over it.)
>> No. 133494
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
Oh yes!
>> No. 133495
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK

Don't be a wimp Anon.
>> No. 133496
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
>> No. 133497
>>133490
You did read the part where they've all been wanting to tell Keine her hat is exceptionally silly, and he's the one who finally did it?

I don't get why people think this is weird. Has no one ever agreed with you?
>> No. 133498
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
Pyonta is clearly a divine artefact trying to get us to calm the fuck down.
>> No. 133499
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL

It just isn't a a true 'terror' mission without this happening many, many times.
>> No. 133501
... mind blank has a 24 hour duration ... there are maybe two or three circumstances in which it ever makes sense for a wizard to prepare it and not cast it immediately and the wizard was not in any of the situations.

The situations include: expecting to have your buffs dispelled and needing it afterwards, casting it on someone else, and other.
>> No. 133502
>>133491
>>133497
Look, I wouldn't have a problem if Keine didn't start to cry. Making a girl cry is a pretty sure sign that you've gone too far (unless the girl is a bitch or crybaby or something, but Keine is none of those things), and I was shocked that only Cirno called us out on it. Even if everyone agreed that Keine's hat needed to be addressed the fact that no-one went after Keine to console her is bugging the hell out of me.
>> No. 133503
[ ] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BERSERK

If you have to lose control, at least don't give it to someone else, specially if that someone is a hat.
>> No. 133504
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
or
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS GONE BATSHIT INSANE
>> No. 133505
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

>>133502

Well, normally I'd agree with you. But of the people in the area, two of them are SDM, and while Meiling is at least concerned, they harbour no love for Keine. Cirno's justifiably upset, and Suwako seems to realize you were hit just as hard by the conversation, and only not reacting like Keine because we're a man, and thus have a huge mental block in the demonstration of such emotion.
>> No. 133507
>>133502
>>133505
As soon as the Wizard recovers from this, we should find a way to fix things ASAP. I think his bout of panick/insanity/rage is also caused by whatever provoking such outbursts from Keine.
>> No. 133509
>>133502
>the fact that no-one went after Keine to console her is bugging the hell out of me.
See, now that's an interesting point. We've got what, 5 people following us around, none of whom felt guilty enough that nobody stayed behind with Keine? You'd think at least Cirno would.
>> No. 133510
File 129565308029.jpg - (6.96KB , 300x300 , 7d7e70bb3ef11dce376f5d69687d605b9e30aba4.jpg ) [iqdb]
133510
>>133509

Keine is upset.

And you might not like her when she's upset...
>> No. 133513
Huh... damn.

Keine really doesn't seem to have much friends... As she herself pointed out, regular people see her power separating them... and youkai see her as too "human" because of the once-a-night-per-month-only thing...

Gah.

Anyway, I vote for...

[x]...You know what? I don't even care anymore. Hahaha. Bullshit powers and Eldritch Hats are the "traits" of this Plane. I'm not going to bother to freak out over these things anymore.
>> No. 133514
You know, I've been forgetting to ask, but seeing as this situation is a nice reminder...

How close is the next full moon anyways?
>> No. 133519
>>133507
Guys, remember what Demetrious posted.
>[X] AGGROPEASE! (Aggro now, pease later.)
And >>133429

Now, we just need to let some time pass before going to Keine. Also, since I didn't vote yet...
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133524
>>133514
>How close is the next full moon anyways?
One ripped dress.
>> No. 133526
>>133519
Thing is it has to be the right amount, too much or too little will end badly.
>> No. 133536
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
>> No. 133539
Guess we already blew our Will save. Might as well go with the least destructive outcome. Being dominated might actually get us into the library, instead of running around while emotionally incontinent.

[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL

>Mind blank
>Gotta cast those spells, folks, not just prepare them.

Demetrious: THERE ARE SEVEN WERECOWS SURROUNDING YOU.
Wizard: How could they surround us? I had Mordenkainen's Magical Watchdog cast.
Demetrious: NO YOU DIDN'T.
Cirno: I'm being awesome! Are there any frogs there?
Wizard: I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said no, but I need material components for all my spells. So I cast Mordenkainen's Faithful Watchdog.
Demetrious: BUT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY CAST IT.
Cirno: Roll the dice to see if I'm the strongest!
Demetrious: (rolls dice) YEAH, YOU ARE.
Cirno: Are there any frogs there?
Demetrious: YEAH.
Wizard: I did though! I completely said when you asked me!
Demetrious: NO YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY THAT YOU WERE CASTING THE SPELL, SO NOW THERE'S WERECOWS, OK?
Cirno: Werecows? Man, I got an cow-killing spellcard! It's got a +9 against English beef!
Demetrious: YOU'RE NOT THERE. YOU'RE BUSY BEING THE STRONGEST.
Cirno: OK, but if there's any frogs there, I wanna freeze them!

The hat probably knows shatter mind blank, anyway.
>> No. 133545
[X] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED
>> No. 133550
[X] It's just temporary insanity from all things happened and Suwako's hat is JUST NORMAL HAT!
>> No. 133558
Seriously though, the reason we have buff spells is to use them. I know our DM and Mr. Wizard have both shown a rather strong inclination towards "dakka" to the point that they actually give the Evocation school some merit. I see those spells as little more than a clean-up mop for sweeping away the rabble after their threat has been nullified by the save-or-dies, since they do so little damage for their induction period and material costs compared to taking to melee with higher to-hit bonuses after things have been knocked prone with Grease or whatever. The difference gets even more significant with parties which have allies with Sneak Attack dice. I mean, Mr. Wizard used up a Polymorph Any Object to make a bed of all things. Not that there was anything else to fight at that point before resting but damn.

I can't ask for Mr. Wizard to completely change his ideas about his own fighting style, since it clearly served him well throughout the past several levels. But we have voted for certain spells under the hope that they would be used, unless circumstances indicate that the effects would be dispelled. Mr. Wizard prepared Mind Blank to avoid scrying, and if the scryer had penetrated whatever defenses the SDM had and spied on him just like before, it's already too late to cast Mind Blank. Just like now, where he failed his will save and is subjected to whatever terror will befall him now, since he's not in the right state of mind to cast counterspells at this point.
>> No. 133562
>>133502
>Look, I wouldn't have a problem if Keine didn't start to cry. Making a girl cry is a pretty sure sign that you've gone too far (unless the girl is a bitch or crybaby or something, but Keine is none of those things), and I was shocked that only Cirno called us out on it. Even if everyone agreed that Keine's hat needed to be addressed the fact that no-one went after Keine to console her is bugging the hell out of me.

Not everyone is a sucker for a sad face, especially when that sad face might cave yours in. Meiling hesitantly asked if they should check on her, but they'll all keep their distance so long as Keine is acting like a hormonal, ticking time bomb. The Wizard doesn't have the same fear of her, and he'll be the person who will confront her, give advice, and console her--once he gets his own emotions in order, that is. That he's the only person who can do this for her is kind of depressing on its own.

Besides, he was practically in tears himself. Between two emotionally distraught people, you'll console the one you're physically attracted to who was acting most rationally at the time, because you're less likely to provoke an irrational response.

>>133509
>See, now that's an interesting point. We've got what, 5 people following us around, none of whom felt guilty enough that nobody stayed behind with Keine? You'd think at least Cirno would.

That's interesting in itself. I think Cirno spoke up not because she was sad that her teacher was crying, but rather she was shocked that the Wizard made her cry. Meaning, it's the Wizard's mental state and actions she's bothered by, not Keine's.
>> No. 133565
>Her frigid little smile fades a bit as your stare slips from ‘haggard’ to ‘morbid.’

how does morbid stare look like? It is something like this: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Guts_slasher_smile_7502.jpg
>> No. 133571
File 129572117493.gif - (2.44KB , 50x50 , DDDDD.gif ) [iqdb]
133571
>>133565
uh no

Morbid looks something like pic related.
>> No. 133572
>>133539

Ahahaha, I know you're being facetious, but I have to say YES! A Demetrious-run John Quest analogue to A Wizard Is You? Sign me up for the STUPID FUNS. BONUS POINTS scored by using ALLCAPS.

Tentative title: A WIZZARD IS US
>> No. 133573
>>133571
I thought it meant morbid more in a "Deadman's Stare" way rather then horror or disbelief. Like "You are in complete contradiction to my worldview and eventually I will make you go away. I just can't muster the will for it because of the blatant unfairness of your ability, gained through no effort or sacrifice at all."

I'm puzzled by the extremity of Keine's reaction as well. The Wizard should check the lunar calendar, which would provide a quick explanation. This would be supported by the "bovine mating hormones" Duke smelled on Keine (which is rather interesting from a biological standpoint), seeing the quip and lie about her hat as a sort of betrayal from one of the few men, if not the first man, she has genuinely felt attracted to emotionally, intellectually and sexually (the last point being amplified by the ascending Moon). However, her accusations would indicate a low self-esteem, seeing as she rejected the Wizard's claim about her attractiveness as flattery and the Wizard's normal lecherousness. This is easily explained by her social isolation (typical of Japanese and East Asian social behaviour against 'outsiders', really) and provides, perhaps, another explanation for her reaction. She likely has been aware of people talking behind her back all her life, the few that maintained friendly interactions always hiding behind friendliness an undercurrent of distaste or fear. To wear her hat might well have been an outcry of sorts and when nobody mocked her for it (mayhap she took to wearing it soon after she came fully into her strength and abilities as were-hakutaku), she maybe took it as a symbol of pride and worth, of a dignity that her person was denied before. The people of the village moved from disdain to fear, thus an outward respect and deference while inwardly and away from her eyes she remained a target of disdain, she took this as a recognition that at least compensated for her still existent social isolation.

This is of course speculation, but having the Wizard so casually mock her hat may have been a crushing blow to her self-image. She may have indeed seen the fascination of their audience, suddenly realizing that almost everyone she knew also considered her hat silly and, to her eyes, never really respected her as herself (represented in her self-image by her hat), but rather feared the strength her inhuman part granted her. For someone so desperate to be seen as a human, as a normal woman rather then a monster, this could have been devastating.
>> No. 133579
>>133573
that's assuming there wasn't outside influences affecting things (Koishi, Remilia, those ghosts)
>> No. 133595
[┼] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
>> No. 133596
>>133579
Having Koishi messing around with no hints that she's even going to be in the story would be one hell of a GODDAMMIT DEMETRIOUS moment.
>> No. 133597
>>133596
I think it's more one of the other two than Koishi
>> No. 133605
>>133426
>implying a level 17 Wizard is a rookie

[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS CELERITY
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS MIND BLANK
>> No. 133607
>>133605
Anything as young as he is is a rookie.
>> No. 133618
>>133539
You are f**king awesome just wanted to say that.
>>133426
[X] Own Response: Mc Wizard has been confronted with an Eldritch power and for once without his life or those of his companions being threatened.
In addition this 'horror' seems to be trying to talk with him...alone without the influence of anyone.
Its time to talk...cool our jets MCwizard, its time to get the low down and maybe ask this amazing HAT OF AWESOME what the hell is going on right now.
Plus...awesome Hat...I mean we like Awesome hats right?
>> No. 133624
>>133618
>f**k
wat
>> No. 133643
>>133605
agreed
>> No. 133681
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS CELERITY
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS MIND BLANK

There can be no doubt.
>> No. 133686
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS CELERITY
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS MIND BLANK
>> No. 133703
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS CELERITY
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS MIND BLANK
>> No. 133707
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD IS UNDER PYONTA’S CONTROL
>> No. 133711
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS CELERITY
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS MIND BLANK

I think we all need to just calm down before we start slinging fireballs.
>> No. 133716
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS CELERITY
[X] CMDR MCWIZARD CASTS MIND BLANK

well he has been to hell and back, so some reflexive spell casting to break mind controlling or fearing of any type seems plausible
>> No. 133722
>>133716
You are assuming he would use up a higher level spell slot just for a metamagic'd Mind Blank of all things. And Mr. Wizard is not at epic levels, so there is no way to get Auto-Quicken or any other epic auto-metamagic feat before level 23. Besides that, Mind Blank cannot be quickened since it's a level 8 spell, so the most you can add is Silent or Still Spell, wasting our one and only level 9 spell slot.
>> No. 133724
... Celerity negates any need to Quicken the spell. Celerity is an immediate action spell that grants a Standard action and then afterwords stuns you for 1 full round. Essentially you borrow time from the future because you need it NOW.
>> No. 133751
[x] ROOKIE MCWIZARD HAS PANICKED

As other posters have alluded to, I can't really fathom a reason why our wizard wouldn't have immediately cast Mind Blank on himself as soon as it was prepared, both because of its duration and because of the nature of the things it's supposed to be protecting against. And if this hat encounter is so important to the plot (and/or funny) that Demetrious has him neglect something so simple, resulting in this situation, then I'm inclined to just go with it and see where it ends up. I certainly wouldn't want to burn Celerity as well to avoid it, when this could be crucial/hilarious. (And really, the tone of the whole thing totally suggests to me we should be filing this all under "Rule of Funny.")

Though this does raise an interesting point: going forward, in addition to working out a spell preparation list, are we each day going to have to accrue support for a specific write-in of "...and we CAST it too" if we want to reap the benefit of being protected by such spells for their full duration? Or was this just a one-time lapse on our wizard's part?
>> No. 133757
To be fair to Demetrious, there are reasons to delay casting Mind Blank, as well. If you want a bit of overlap between castings, for example, in case you get delayed 24 hours later and can't recast it right away. Also, if you woke up early. Who wants to recast it at the unholy hour of 6am? Wizard Needs Sleep Badly.

Me, I'm just waiting to see where he's going with this. A panicking wizard could be hilarious (for us), because he could decide to cast just about anything.
>> No. 136987
Demetrious forgot and I was stuck in this thread for ages. OTL

New thread: >>133878
>> No. 137030
>>136987
Haha me too. I did figure it out in time for the third update though