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File 129331449412.jpg - (71.72KB , 638x521 , YEEHAW.jpg ) [iqdb]
132258 No. 132258
As my own special Christmas gift, I decided to lower my standards for the first time in about two or three years and write something almost completely driven and controlled by the audience! Let's start this train wreck!

CHOOSE YOUR PROTAGONIST'S GENDER
[ ] Male
[ ] Female

>> No. 132259
[X] Female

Yeah, this one is obvious.
>> No. 132260
Time waits for no man, so I'm moving on! Your protagonist is female, but wait... I think I heard someone say dickgirl. Did someone say dickgirl?

[ ] Yes yes yes
[ ] Oh god no
>> No. 132261
[x] Oh god no

That shit is Lunatic
>> No. 132263
>>132261
More like oh yes.
[X] Yes yes yes
>> No. 132264
[X] Oh god no

NO.

JUST

NO!
>> No. 132265
[x] Yes yes yes
>> No. 132266
>>132258
>write something almost completely driven and controlled by the audience!

Don't bother. With an approach like that, it's just going to be mediocre and forgettable.

Why aren't you trying to tell a real story instead of giving us another tired knockoff of YWUIG?
>> No. 132267
[X] Oh god no

Dicks goes on males and in females, not the other way around thank you.
>> No. 132268
Oh come on, ya'll niggas are lame! Maybe you'll go for dickgirls if you have to make a new character.

So, she has no dick. Does she have rocking cans?

[ ] D-cup all the way!
[ ] /d/-cup is the best!
[ ] C-cup
[ ] B-cup!
[ ] Loli lovers can suck it because A-cup isn't an option!

Also...

>>132266

Because you're no fun and this place needs something that's just purely stupid!
>> No. 132269
>Implying there can be a middle ground between flat and huge in Eastern-inspired settings

[X] D-cup all the way!
Now I can relate.
>> No. 132270
>[ ] /d/-cup is the best!
What... Is /d/ cup? I'm kinda reluctant to pick it, but...
>> No. 132271
>>132270

Think mystery box, only totally radical.
>> No. 132272
>>132270
[ ] /d/-cup is the best!

I'm fairly certain this is a /d/eviant sort of D cup. Or /d/eranged.
>> No. 132273
>>132270
Considering /d/ that just might be something along the line of "so humongous you'll trip on them" hence why I'm not touching this option with a ten-feet pole.
>> No. 132274
>>132272
>>132271
Okay then!

[X] /d/-cup is the best!
>> No. 132275
>>132270
[ ] /d/-cup is the best!

I'm fairly certain this is a /d/eviant sort of D cup. Or /d/eranged.
>> No. 132276
>>132268
>something purely stupid
We don't need more shit like Average Joe. Can you stop posting?
>> No. 132277
Okay. No dick, but instead she'll have some kind of rocking awesome sexually deviant fetishist cans. Rock on.

So, let's get a little more normal.

[ ] Black hair.
[ ] Brown hair.
[ ] Magenta hair.
[ ] Tickle-me-pink hair.
[ ] No red hair because gingers don't have souls.
[ ] No hair.
>> No. 132278
[x] /d/-cup is the best!

Yes.

YES.
>> No. 132279
>>132275
Doublepost with an extra helping of "wrong password" when trying to delete one.
>> No. 132280
[x] Green hair.

Green > *
>> No. 132281
Lulzwriteins

[]Snow white/Silver
>> No. 132283
Fuck yeah, write-ins! That's the spirit, guys!
>> No. 132284
Silver-haired big breasted anti-hero protagonist, you know you want it.
>> No. 132286
[X]Snow white/Silver
>>132284
Well, I don't know about antihero part yet, but 2/3 is fine.
>> No. 132287
Silver hair and rag jugs, my bread and butter.

Let's skip past a bunch of the pretentious pansy shit like eye color and favorite food because nobody gives a fuck. Instead,

[ ] What alignment is your character?
>> No. 132288
Woops, meant to say rad jugs! But rag jugs wouldn't be that bad. She could mop the sweat up off of you while you shake and bake, I guess.
>> No. 132289
[X] Chaotic Good
Shit, let's be GAR.
>> No. 132290
[x] Chaotic good
Just because killing a few bunnies to make a gift for your friend is a good thing.
>> No. 132291
I personally like Chaotic Neutral best but that's just me.

[1] Lawlful Evil (Almost as good but not as much)
[2] Chaotic Good (cliché but comfortable.)
>> No. 132292
[x] true neutral

I have no strong feelings one way or the other, tell my wife I said hello, etc.
>> No. 132293
Chaotic good, cool, cool. So she's a silver haired crazy heroine with fucking awesome tits. Let's move on to our next-to-last question.

What should she wear?

[ ] Armor, like some kinda fucking heroic knight
[ ] Rags, because well, fuck fancy shit
[ ] Normal clothes because I'm boring
[ ] ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
>> No. 132294
[X]Dress with frill and lace. Also, stocking, there must be stockings.
>> No. 132295
[X]Dress with frill and lace. Also, stocking, there must be stockings.

I rike.
>> No. 132296
[X] Badly self-made cosplay.
>> No. 132297
[x]A mysterious cloack, hiding most of her
>> No. 132298
Frills, of course! It's a touhou board, so touhou clothing is the best!

Last question.

What one completely pointless little insignificant detail do you want in addition to all of the above?

[ ] Voters' choice
>> No. 132300
[X]Already decent/good at Danmaku
>> No. 132302
[x] terrible at danmaku, but she makes up for it with her incredible luck.
>> No. 132303
[x] alcoholic

Can't help but imagine her doing that cleavage cup thing.
>> No. 132304
>>132303

How silly of me to forget this.
[X]Alcoholic (With alcohol tolerance on top of it.)
>> No. 132306
[x] terrible at danmaku, but she makes up for it with her incredible luck.
[X] Otaku
[X] She owns variety of replica melee weapons that she proudly displays on walls of her room
[x] alcoholic

...It can be more than one detail, right?
Deleted and added >>132303
>> No. 132307
Okay, counting that last one because what the fuck, also not including otaku because nerds suck.

So that's about it, let's get this show on the rooooaaaad
>> No. 132308
>also not including otaku because nerds suck.

Awesome.
>> No. 132309
File 129331977077.jpg - (44.06KB , 650x525 , WAKARANAI.jpg ) [iqdb]
132309
You're some kind of silver haired bimbo with a frilly outfit and magical tits. Oh god, is that midriff? Your boobs are currently taking the form of what appear to be two digletts, and you can't help but imagine having a magic penis and carrying a full dugtrio. You're more than a little pissed at how poorly drawn you and your surroundings are, but you figure that it's better than nothing.

Wat do?

[ ] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
[ ] Investigate your poorly drawn surroundings
[ ] Do something crazy with your tits
[ ] Get ye flask
>> No. 132310
[x] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION

Better include a sober/drunk status bar.
>> No. 132311
>>132309
[x]Retrieve legs from safe.
>> No. 132312
>Your boobs are currently taking the form of what appear to be two digletts
This was NOT what I expected of /d/ cup.

[X] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
>> No. 132313
This is why people should listen to me when I say an option is a bad idea.

[X] Conjure up some sort of stat bars with your IMAGINATION
[X] Examine strife specib--wait wrong site
>> No. 132314
Eh, /d/ tits can still include /d/ sized tits. IT'S NOT OVER YET.
>> No. 132315
File 12933204693.png - (15.48KB , 650x525 , ooh shiny.png ) [iqdb]
132315
Your wild IMAGINATION crafts up a sobriety bar for you. You appear to have a pretty good buzz going as it stands, and understandably so. The last thing you remember is getting smashed, after all.

[ ] Morph tits
[ ] Investigate surroundings
[ ] Get ye flask
>> No. 132316
[x] Morph tits

This should be interesting.
>> No. 132317
>>132315
[x]Wipe blood off of your lips.
>> No. 132318
[X] Morph tits
Something more sensible please.
[X] Investigate surroundings
>> No. 132319
[X] Morph tits back in a humanoid non-mutant shape and appreciate the fact that your Youkai heritage allows you to do this.
[X] Get Ye Flask even though it's probably empty; wish it worked like that one Oni gourd.
>> No. 132320
File 12933212489.png - (19.91KB , 650x525 , oohubbahubba.png ) [iqdb]
132320
Your fine cans once again become fine cans. Another crisis averted. In retrospect, you can't recall why you even made your tits become digletts. Oh well. Further analysis of your surroundings shows that Ye Flask is not immediately available and that it's dark. Also prison bars. Fuck.

[ ] Use your tits to escape.
[ ] Call for help.
[ ] Sit there and fondle yourself.
>> No. 132321
[x] Use your tits to escape.

Buzz-saw tits incoming.
>> No. 132322
[x]Look out of prison bars
>> No. 132323
[X] Use your tits to escape.
I bet we were jailed for being crazy cannibal. Just look at that blood.
>> No. 132325
File 129332217052.png - (17.65KB , 650x525 , woahshit.png ) [iqdb]
132325
Your awesome tits cut the bars apart like a giant pair of scissors.

Oh wait.

[ ] Wat do?
>> No. 132326
[x] Eat the bars
[x] Escape
>> No. 132327
>[ ] Wat do?
[x]Stop posting.
>> No. 132329
[x] RAPE THE BARS.
>> No. 132330
[X] Become THE BARS!
>> No. 132364
[x] RAPE THE MA-BARS
>> No. 132365
[x] Search for some Touhous.
Because Touhous everywhere.
>> No. 132367
[X] Realize that we are nameless.
[X] Come to the conclusion that as we are some kind of hellish manifestation of the general Youkai Stereotype of appearance, with morphic powers similar to that of a succubus.
[X] Come up with a name. (Something seductive, random or chaotic will do. Multiple names are also a good idea too.)
[X] Proceed to find out who imprisoned us.
[X] Pick up Behelit.
>> No. 132368
Consider this dropped. It's been brought to my attention that it was just a little too pointlessly retarded and a waste of time.
>> No. 132369
[X] Realize that we are nameless.
[X] Come to the conclusion that as we are some kind of hellish manifestation of the general Youkai Stereotype of appearance, with morphic powers similar to that of a succubus.
[X] Come up with a name. (Something seductive, random or chaotic will do. Multiple names are also a good idea too.)
[X] Proceed to find out who imprisoned us.
[X] Pick up Behelit.
>> No. 132393
>>132368
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

No seriously, get your writeNIGGER ASS BACK HERE THIS INSTANT, you stated a retarded story that could possibly rival Just an average joe, and your going to finish it.
>> No. 132396
>>132368

Redo it as something less retarded. Like Youmu Quest.
>> No. 132398
I missed the days when "retarded" stories were still as entertaining as that one with COMMODORE MOTHERFUCKING PERRY. I mean, sure that one was stupid too, but I don't even know what "retarded" means anymore with such low expectations that allowed this thread to come into being.
>> No. 132399
>>132398

"Retarded" is a gentlemanly, upper class level of entertainment. Indeed, it is comparable to a fine art.
>> No. 132412
>>132398
Which one is that?
>> No. 132538
File 129372952319.jpg - (65.26KB , 425x450 , 1051u6c.jpg ) [iqdb]
132538
I prefer mature CYOA for mature posters such as myself.