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100979 No. 100979
System UPDATE:

"Et tu, Brute?"

[x] Multi

Phase Change: Morning - Clear - Day 6 (7 / 6, Year 118)

BGM Load: "Like a dream come true", Shoji Meguro - Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 OST

---

Geez, as if there was ever any doubt in the first place about what you were going to do.

"You're on," you smile with a hint of confidence. Venturing out into dangerous ground for a little fetch quest, this was something you could handle; a no-brainer that you did not have to worry much else about, except keeping your hide in one piece.

Alice nods, the slightest inclination of her chin, and falls silent almost as if in anticipation. For a moment, you are at loss what to do and cannot help but suffer another blush beneath the scathing gaze of those cool, calculating eyes. Finally, it occurs to you that she had been affording you a chance to speak your mind.

But what should you ask?

The normal thing to do would be to ask for more details, concerning your job, yet your thoughts draw a complete blank. You want to ask but you do not know what to ask. Tsk, how troublesome! Come on: think. Think. Think! You should not let this opportunity go to waste...!

Oh. That's right.

"Say, if you don't mind me asking, what's this business I hear about a barrera?" you ask her casually.

You expected Meta Knight to react considering you heard the slip from him, but the little armored marshmallow hardly spared you even a fleeting look Apparently, the existence of the kekkai was pretty common knowledge and something even guests should notice upon their visit here.

"I will answer with an elementary question that should suffice: why do beings set boundaries be it by scent, obstacles, markings, legality, or power?"

...O-Oi, you were asking because you did not know! Ahhh, tsk, with your present level of knowledge and understanding, the question boggles your mind and flies right over your head. Still, Alice does not seem like the type to dodge the question. What did she have to hide anyways? Your gut tells you this was just her way of getting you to think.

Guess that explains where Meta Knight got his mannerisms from.

"We shall speak further when you have arrived at a conclusion. Now then, is there anything else you require?"

Your expression softens in fond rumination.

"Actually... Okay, I know I'm already indebted to you, but could I ask a small courtesy of you... If you would kindly?"

"Again, I am not cruel. I am a Magician," she states dispassionately.

"Eh he he he, right," you chuckle sheepishly, hoping you had not offended her. "Then could you send word back to Hakurei Shrine for me that I'm working here in the meantime?"

"To whom shall I address this notice to?"

"Daiya. Tsuchi no Daiya. He is an Earth kami and one of the chief retainers over there."

At your words, this time Meta Knight reacts, turning a beady sidelong glance at you. The subject of your retainers seemed to be of interest to him, but he just as quickly turns his gaze away to continue his silent vigil.

"Done," Alice informs you.

"What?" you blink taken aback by her prompt reply.

"I shall have confirmation of the delivery in exactly five-point-eight-six-five-zero-seven-seven seconds."

"That's---pretty fast."

Magick is sure convenient, huh? You wonder if you could learn it yourself. Entertaining such a whim though would have to wait for another time, as you notice one of Alice's attendant dolls drift away from her side and glide over to you. To be honest, you had no idea what to expect, least of all for the doll to explode in a shower of seven-colored sparks that all came rushing right at you like throwing stars. The "attack" comes so suddenly that you are just struck speechless by the betrayal...but all is not as it appears to plebeian mind.

A warmth spreads through you as you glow in brief brilliance arrayed in the very same colors that had struck you but a moment ago, bundling you up like a mother might do to her newborn to protect it from the cold. Oddly, you feel a bit safer than you did before. Had she cast a spell on you just now?

"There. That should renew Master Rinnosuke's spell and add a little extra for comfort. You should be able to fight now at full strength without worrying for attracting all the denizens of the forest after you."

Immediately, you feel remorse for doubting the magician and would have made to apologize, but alas, it would have to wait.

"Meta Knight. Make haste! ...Time is our enemy."

Your thoughts are drowned away in the fluttering darkness of a cape.

"By your command!"

---

System MSG: Hnnn.

Gain...

+ 1 pts of Knowledge.

+ 1 pts of Understanding.

BGM Change: "Omen", Shoji Meguro - Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 OST

---

When the darkness draws away aflutter, you stumble forwards, barely keeping your balance, as your mind struggles to absorb the sudden rush of all you see, hear, and experience. Gone was the familiar oddness of Alice's mansion, and in its place, you had been thrust right back into the peril and danger of the fey wood. It may have been broad daylight, but here in the deep, dark heart of the Forest of Magick, you might as well have stepped into night, gloomy and frightful. The dank air chills you to the bone.

"Having second thoughts yet?" asks a masculine presence.

Immediately, you whirl about to confront the foe only to discover a sight for sore eyes. He was not your foe but Alice's knight could be held responsible, certainly, for bringing you hear in a less than amicable manner.

"And why would I have need for that?" you retort dryly, feeling your resolve hold fast at a familiar face.

"Don't you hear it? That mournful sound?"

Now that you take notice, there is a lot more than just the hollow ambiance to worry about judging by a palpable flux of air being drawn somewhere. You turn away only to see it at last: the massive maw of rock and earth rising out of the ground, as if to swallow you whole. Here is your cave, ominous and uninviting.

At least you cannot complain for spending all morning just to get here, right?

What shall you do?

Choose...

[] Head on in.
[] Ask the armored marshmallow to go first?
[] Say, it's awfully dark in there. You got a light on you?
[] First things first: what did you do to get us here?
[] ??????

>> No. 100980
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>> No. 100982
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100982
This thread is bad and you should feel bad.
>> No. 100983
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100983
http://pastebin.ca/raw/1645781
>> No. 100984
[x] ??????
>> No. 100985
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>> No. 100987
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100987
WORST IDEA EVER
>> No. 100988
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100988
Fuck off.
>> No. 100989
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100989
KATANAKANA KATANAKANA
>> No. 100990
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>>100989
>> No. 100995
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Am I a touhou yet, uguu?
>> No. 100996
>>100995

NO, YOU MUST SURVIVE THE GREAT RETCON SAID DAD.
>> No. 100998
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Hey kid wanna katanakana?
>> No. 100999
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>>100995
I-It's not used that way!
>> No. 101001
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>>100998

KATANAKANA
>> No. 101003
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>>100995
oh my
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>>100979
>> No. 101010
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>Meta Knight
>> No. 101019
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Hiragana" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanakana deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Katanakana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my Katanakana.

Japanese wordsmiths spend years working on a single Katanakana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest wit known to mankind.

Katanakanas are thrice as sharp as European letters and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a vowel can cut through, a Katanakana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a Katanakana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their Katanakana of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the Katanakana first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanakana are simply the best writing system that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanakana:

(One-Handed Exotic Syllabary)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Syllabary)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanakana in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanakana need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
>> No. 101047
[X] First things first: what did you do to get us here?
[X] Ask the armored marshmallow to go first?

What the fuck
>> No. 101049
>>101047
>What the fuck

Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe J was retarded enough to make a new thread instead of packing his shit up and leaving. Take a damn hint, right?

Then again, he doesn't seem to understand criticism either, so maybe we can only expect so much from that jackass.
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>>101049
Voting is the new trolling
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This thread is a thing of beauty.
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Katanakana
>> No. 101150
File 125675365397.jpg - (489.34KB , 800x800 , 71c5e371abd880eb9b6f184c468dd361.jpg ) [iqdb]
101150
Had a recent massive hard drive failure and my Tohou picture folder was destroyed.
Just wanted to say 'Thank you' for helping me recuperate. A downthemall on this page beats going through hundreds of pages in danbooru
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Interesting.
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>> No. 101251
Image dumps and sagebombing do not solve the fucking problem. Stop doing it already.
>> No. 101252
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>> No. 101253
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>> No. 101254
>>101251
Or at least slow down a little.

Seriously guys, I can't save this fast! ;_;
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File 12567587473.jpg - (1.11MB , 1300x1000 , f8ba84c9074a18515b9e81d9d511da82.jpg ) [iqdb]
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>> No. 101291
File 125675918420.jpg - (315.16KB , 687x542 , f609d690f97e48f3b2634c59ddb1ccc3.jpg ) [iqdb]
101291
That's all.
>> No. 101294
File 125676110225.png - (194.16KB , 1250x1425 , 1250857716361.png ) [iqdb]
101294
You could have at least posted images of a better character.
>> No. 101298
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Yeah. Maybe ones of the best touhou ever?
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>>101298
Alright. I'll post a few.
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カタナカナ
>> No. 101359
It's that day again—she thought—the weekly date that had persistently set itself in all of their schedules, and came back every time to mock the boy-loving kidneys out of her innards, every time would it drive her nuts as the two of them—two adolescent lads who always remained oblivious to her irritation—would come together, and in their immature innocence, enjoy the time, wasting it on pointless pleasures, legally forbidden by the law of somewhere far away, but insignificant inside the Border, the one of the things that no man could in his sanity call not entertaining.

Video games.

Wondrous worlds of virtual adventures had proven to draw alike souls closer to each other in the past, had they not? So and so, the unusual hobby had also conjured a certain bond of friendship between two youngsters who would otherwise pass by one another in the street, and never turn back, thinking — I could be friends with that guy. It was only by an accident the two even met, and only due to our girl's shameful inattention did she get caught by Houraisan Kazuma—her host—whilst trying to sneak past the said's room at night with another guest—a writer-wanna-be boy from the village named Hieda Aki—following her stead. Why?—the question is yours to ponder.
In any case, despite the girl's worst fears—and perhaps concealed wishes—the two young boys never held any jealousy over their female friend's fondness of the both of them, and seemed to get along just fine, as any shut-in pair of people with unusual hobbies would do. Aki quickly caught the virus of gaming from Kazuma, as the latter persistently refused to contract the disease of writing down facts for the use of next generations. In their own rights, they were two souls at odds, connected by a pure coincidence.


The damage done—as they say—and the pain subsides. Long session of blowing the heads of unreal enemies off their necks finally over, the curious trio—Aki, Kazuma and Fukuzai, our heroine—had gathered and sat in what was usually utilized as a dining room for the Clinic's staff and inhabitants. Now empty and desolate, Kazuma's caretaker out on a journey to visit a sickly patient faraway, and his subordinates enjoying their day off in the village, the table felt overwhelmingly great and unfriendly for the girl, while her two companions paid no heed to such things, and instead concentrated on devouring the unhealthy snacks Aki had brought. Candy, pizza, chocolate, chips, what have you; the two of them looked happy enough with gorging their already large bellies Fukuzai didn't interfere.
"Those Dumbines sure had it coming!" Kazuma said joyfully, not swallowed bits of potato chips flying left and right as he chuckled.
" Co-op really is the way to go!" His comrade in arms agreed. "I will never forget that action with the grenade!"
"When you threw one, and I lobbed it with the Gravity Gun at a Strider? That was awesome!"
"Completely unbelievable!"
"In their faces!"
At their overenthusiastic behaviour, she could only sigh and look as the piles upon piles of junk food slowly grew smaller and smaller, faced with the two boys' appetite and seemingly indestructible good mood. At this rate, they would have a hell of a problem next night...
" So the other day," Aki prodded into the gap of Kazuma's silence. "I heard my mom talk with our butler about nuts."
"Nuts?" Kazuma queried at his friend holding up a large walnut as though it was a trophy of some sorts. "What's so special about nuts?"
"They're an afro... afrobysiac, or something like that."
Let's imagine Fukuzai's ears quivered at the sound of the word.
"... Aphrodisiac?" She turned her heterochromic eyes to the boys.
"Mhm, I think so." Aki nodded, albeit a bit unsure. "But I don't know what that means. Well, I know Victor didn't really like what she said..."
"It's simple," Fukuzai let her lips curve up in response. "An aphrodisiac is something that makes you want to hump the other person senseless so hard you can't resist."




"Wait, are you sure you want me to do this?" Someone would ask. "This isn't exactly..."
"Yeah," Someone else would reply. "But you've already started, why drop it now?"
"... you're kind of right, I guess."
"Get on with it, then."



Imagine the two boys look at the girl with confusion in their eyes; imagine how they glance at each other, and likely shrug each other in mute agreement. The satisfaction of corrupting the pure disappears from Fuku's face like a Summer Night's Dream off the theatre posters after the season, letting a dissatisfied scowl take its place.
"Hump...?" Aki grimaces at the apparently incomprehensible explanation. "Why hump..."
"So you mean," Kazuma snatches the nut out of his friend's hands. "If I ate this, you'd want to hug me really hard or—"
"Something along the lines," Fukuzai cuts in, trying to hold back the irritation telling her to storm out of the room and weep over the boys' innocence that drives her insane every time they gather together. "Say," She shifts forward a little. "Why don't you try and see what happens?"
The quivering of her lips would probably unman anyone with at least a little bit of experience with women like her, but lo—Kazuma only nods obediently and reaches for a yellow nutcracker laying ahead. The poor shell quickly surrenders and gives birth to four pieces of nut that Kazuma promptly picks up. Giving the one who dared him a brief glance, he puts them in his mouth... And precariously chews them through. It takes a whole thirty seconds before his throat finally lets out a loud 'gulp', and the nuts go to the cauldron that stews tonight’s unhealthy feast.
"... so," Says Kazuma. "I don't feel any more... huggable." Picture it as the girl smirks to herself, standing up lento, and having wiped the treacherous expression off her face, potters towards the unexpecting boy, while he observes in careful, maybe a bit frightened curiosity. Try to think how the sigh she let out when her butt hit the pillow behind the boy felt against his neck. Imagine every single hair on his body stand at attention when that happens. Imagine him jerk up in surprise when the girl shamelessly reaches under his shirt. "—Wah?!"
"Look at this," Says Fukuzai as she rubs the boy's now exposed belly. "All this bad food is finally getting to you."
His cheeks red beyond belief, he tries to look back, but seeing the seductive eyes pronged in his neck, quickly turns away, clenching and relaxing his fists repeatedly.
"F-Fuku?" He stutters. "What are you..."
"Mhm," But the girl only moans under her nose, doing her best not to bite the boy on the ear, like the whole of her body seems to urge her to. "Really, really it is." Nibble, nibble, her fingers play with what tons of potato chips have earned the boy in the stomach area. Funny how an usually disgusting feature only made it nicer for her when on Kazuma. One could question the morality of such behaviour, but... Well, Fukuzai is too selfish of a girl to care. Even now, right now, under Aki's baffled stare, her hands both seem to be inclined on reaching to Kazuma's pants' zipper. Lewd, isn't it? But why would she care? On the other hand, rather than jacking the boy off on his friend's eyes, wouldn't doing something else be more interesting? Yes, indeed, that's what she thought. "I wonder if you taste the same as all this crap you've eaten." She whispers.
Whispers right into the boy's ear, who can only try to avoid his buddy's violet gaze, trying to hide the embarrassment. But deep inside...
"L-let me go..." He says, while his palms diffidently reach for the pair of long, warm legs wrapped around his own. "Please, Aki is—"
"You smell so nice," Fukuzai cuts in. "I could eat you."
And she does.

Let us switch the perspective here for a moment. Let us position the camera beside Aki's confused, little head, who still at sea, continues to observe the whole incident. He watches carefully as Fukuzai opens her mouth. He sees her jaws stretch unnaturally, as her hands, powered by some unearthly force, lift his round friend high in the air. Rows of teeth glimmer in the light of lamps as Fuku raises screaming Kazuma over the cave that her mouth has become.
Then, without any hesitation, as though it was the most ordinary thing in the world, she inserts him—literally—into her oral cavity, her throat expanding greatly to compensate for the massive load, popping buttons off her shirt as her belly expands. A pair of legs keeps flinging in the air helplessly as the whole body slowly slides down the throat of the monster that came out of the girl who would caress Aki's head whenever he fell asleep in her lap. The same monster lets out a chuckle when the whole of Kazuma disappears inside its body, its colossal stomach bulging as its helpless captor struggles for freedom. The face returned to normal, the pair of heterochromic eyes fixated at poor Aki, the boy backs away, as far as the walls let him while it just absentmindedly strokes its bloated belly.
"Aaaaki..." The monster moans, almost sexually. "Teeell meee..."
He swallows hard when it starts walking forward.
"W-what—"
"Ninety plus fifteen iiisssss...?"
Gulp, again.
"One hundred and five-- "


***


Let's imagine the morning sun doesn't give a damn about what happened, and simply continues to raise, oblivious of our girl waking up to its light. Let's imagine her sitting up, yawning like a satiated lion. Let's imagine her eyes quickly sweeping the shambles of the room. Let's imagine her looking down at her strangely tight clothes, and in place of a sunken belly she would always see, notice a mountain of flesh, rapt under the pressure from beneath. Let's imagine her groan as she stands up, the hill of meat swaying with every slightest move.
Let's imagine her pat it with utmost delight and mutter to herself.
"... I wonder how that horned boy is faring... Might as well pay him a visit."




"Okay, this is bullshit. Stop masturbating on my carpet."

____

Had this sitting on my HD since you-know-who left all those months ago. He never even finished the damn thing. Oh well, enjoy.

And before you complain you said I could do whatever I like with this so don't come crying to me on steam.
>> No. 101361
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>>101359
>> No. 101385
>>101359

tl;dr
>> No. 101402
>>101359
YAF's memory lives on.

And that was delicious. Thank you.
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>>101359
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>>101359