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100136 No. 100136
Nah, never mind. While two heads are better than one, five would be getting rather crowded. Best leave Tewi - or whoever it is in the back room - to her business, and catch up to the others. It's impolite to keep people waiting, after all. Sending a passing glance at some ominous-looking pillboxes and bottles on the nurse's desk amidst scattered notes before you exit the office, you try to remember whether or not you ever returned those pills Reisen gave you the other day. Might be a good idea to do so before anyone in the household accidentally falls into a coma due to youkai-strength sleeping pills. Unfortunately, your musings are cut short by the feeling of two strong arms grabbing you and pulling you into an empty, unfinished classroom on your way to the front door of the building. God damn it, are you some sort of magnet for random events like these? Or is there some sort of malevolent being watching over you that decides what happens in your life?

"Yoink~!"

And you find yourself on the floor - a position very familiar to you now, which plagues your poor host mother with ridiculously frequent cleaning of your uniform. The setting sun too low to efficiently illuminate the room, in addition to the windows being covered so as to avoid being stained or broken by the workers, leaves you in a very dark - almost unnaturally dark room, pinned beneath a humanoid figure, the only discernable features in the blackness being a shining, crimson pair of eyes, and the glint of sharp white teeth from what little light manages to hit them, grinning at you.

"Hello, Rumia."

The darkness around you fades just a little, becoming more natural and revealing the blonde little demon perched on top of your prone body. She frowns in mild disappointment, removing her arms from yours while still remaining seated on your stomach.

"Psh, you're so boring, bro... Guessing who it is so quickly."

"I didn't need to guess, really... Do I know any other lunatics who'd pull me into the shadows randomly like this, with glowing red eyes?"

She smirks in response, amused by your reasoning, before leaning down all of a sudden and pressing you against the floor once again, her head right by yours, her hair lightly brushing against your skin; before you can protest or react in any way, you hear a soft whisper in a sweet, sing-song tone by your ear, the warmth of her breath grazing against you gently.

"...What about the vampires?"

...she actually has a point. You've probably spent about as much time lying beneath Remilia as you have beneath Rumia; unfortunately, not in that 'if you know what I mean' sense, in this case. Still grinning widely, she sits back up, glaring down at you with the amusement of a wicked child poking a small defenseless animal with a stick.

"Besides, you shouldn't wander around alone like this, bro... You might get attacked by a hungry monster if you're not careful~" As if to emphasize her point, she cackles to herself in delight, bouncing up and down on your stomach a little as she does so, fingernails lightly digging into your shoulders, almost to the point of causing pain. Almost.
"So, did you get in trouble, hmm? What did the scary old purple witch do to you? Do tell~"

"No-... Um, yeah. I got scolded for not paying attention in class, and-..."

"Is that a lie~?" She just keeps grinning and grinning, wider and wider. Those eyes, they're eating you alive, as if she gets off on seeing you like this.

"...What makes you think that?"

"I can smell your lies." Leaning in again, she sniffs at you with that little nose of hers, which would seem cute as a button on any human girl. That's got to be the most disturbing thing about Rumia, really - you'd probably be a LOT less creeped out by her if she looked like some huge, spiky, slobbering ugly monster, as opposed to an adorable highschool girl with a naughty smirk, the strength of a bear and a taste for human flesh.

"...R-really?"

She laughs. "No, you're just not terribly good at it. Ah, but if you had to ask, then that means you -were- lying, doesn't it?" Drat.
"Heeey bro... Where are you going, anyway?"

No point in hiding it, then.
"I'm meeting up with the others, so we can go to Keine's house to discuss something important. You're actually making me keep them waiting, so, if you don't mind..."

"Ah, and what if I mind, hmm? What're you gonna do, hmmm? Are you going to fight me again? Or struggle to run away? Or scream for help? Hmmmmm~?" The look in her eyes becomes more and more sadistic by the second; but you don't have time for this shit, to be scared by her stupid little pranks. People are waiting for you. You attempt to sit up, pushing her away with one hand, when suddenly...

"YE-OWCH!"

She... She chomped down on two of your fingers - the index and middle finger of your left hand. Just like that! Oh god, oh god, oh god, all the fear and horror you should have been feeling these two weeks while being surrounded by these abominations is rushing into your brain all of a sudden - scream, flail wildly, struggle to get away, curl up in a corner and cry hysterically until your inevitable bloody death!
Except not. In a moment of clarity while you're rapidly taking in oxygen in preparation for some manic screaming, you sense that your fingers are still attached. The pain aside, this manages to calm you back down to the point where you're thinking more-or-less rationally; at the same time, the corners of Rumia's mouth curl upwards slightly in amusement, a thin trail of blood slowly making its way down her chin as she playfully(!?) sucks on your fingers lightly, eyes connecting with yours and eyelids narrowing lightly.

"Mm-mm~"

...

"S-sorry it took me so long." You finally make it out of the shool building and meet up with the others - Flandre and Reisen had been chatting up until your arrival, seemingly on friendly terms. Granted, Reisen is a rather nice and normal girl to begin with, someone who seems like she'd get along with just about anyone. Keine doesn't seem upset at all for having been kept waiting, as she stands by the front door with a handbag over her shoulder, twirling a keyring around a finger.

"Ready to go then, everyone?" Her calm, caring voice is so soothing compared to Rumia's venomous sing-song tone earlier. Keine locks the door, and the four of you head out of the gate and down the hill towards the village. You keep your hands in your pockets to conceal the bite wounds on your fingers; while walking, you can't help but notice Flandre staring at you awkwardly, eyes wide and pupils turned into thin slits. Slits? Well, uh... Must be a vampire thing. Why is she staring, though? In contrast to her usual cute and reserved self, something about her gaze right now is... disturbing and innerving. Or maybe you're still just freaked out by Rumia, who knows.

You arrive at Keine's house, a small, rather unremarkable building on the edge of the village, near the elementary school. She lets you all in with a welcoming smile, and you politely remove your shoes, glancing around inside. Fairly nondescript and simple, not that much different from where you're living, yourself. The walls have various scrolls on them with text written on them with impeccable calligraphy, in such small print and so densely that trying to read it all makes your head hurt. She leads you into a small room with a table in the middle, the kind you kneel around as opposed to sitting on a chair, and goes off to prepare some tea. As you stare into the ceiling, pondering over today's events, you suddenly feel a particular natural urge, and you head after her.

"Oh, is there something you need?"

"Er, yes, I... Could I ask you where your bathroom is, please?"

"Ah, certainly. It's that door right over there." She points out a door on the other side of the house, and you politely thank her before rushing in said direction. On the way, however, you're distracted; another room on the side has its door open, and looking inside you see a properly made bed, and a desk with various papers, quills, and an inkwell on it. This must be her bedroom and office of sorts, all in one. What further draws your attention, though, is the amount of crumpled or torn papers both on the desk and in the waste basket beside it, as well as a glass and bottle on the desk; a few empty bottles are on the floor beneath the desk, one having fallen onto its side.
But, enough peeping into other peoples' rooms, you need to piss real badly.

You return, only to find everyone already enjoying their tea and chatting about what you came here for.

"...and we believe that getting miss Houraisan to come to school will helps us do the same with Mokou."

"That sounds nice; Mokou is a friendly person. I'd like that!"

"Ah, well... I don't think it'd be easy to get the princess to do something like that... She's very, um, prideful."

Keine frowns lightly upon mention of the title 'princess', though quickly goes back to her polite smile, nodding in response to Reisen. As you sit down and take a sip of the tea - delicious, as was to be expected - their eyes turn to you, and Flandre shuffles a little closer to you, setting her teacup next to yours as if this were somehow symbolic, and offering you a beaming smile.

"Well... I've been trying to get those two to come to school for a long time now, and to be quite frank, I'm out of ideas."

"I... Don't really know if I can think of anything, either. If anyone suggests an idea, I could probably guess how likely it would be to work, but..."

Flandre simply glances at them nervously, obviously feeling a little out of place and unable to help in any way, instead touching your fingertips on the ground lightly. Keine lifts her kind, brown eyes to you just as you set your cup down again, having taken another sip.

"Is it good?"

"Er... Yes! Thank you."

"I'm certainly glad to hear it. Ah, but... Did you have any ideas on what we should do, then?"

Ah. Well. You were the one who put this whole show together, so you should probably say something smart about now, shouldn't you?



[] (Describe plan here. Feel free to go wild, this is meant to be a light-hearted side-plot, although you may also keep it simple if you wish. Just as long as it's at least vaguely sane and sensible.)

>> No. 100137
[x] Pull down your pants.
[x] "We use this."
>> No. 100139
[x] I think we should somehow get at her noble pride by perhaps mentioning how Tenshi and Remilia gladly go to school, where they're quite popular (it might be a lie at this point, it might not)
[x] Perhaps mention to Kaguya that school could be an avenue for her battles with Mokou, but this time on the intellectual level.

This is what I have for the time being; feel free to help improve this.
>> No. 100140
[Q] Mokou mentioned wanting to see Kaguya in a short skirt. Maybe Kaguya would respond the same to Mokou?
>> No. 100141
Forgot the obligatory link to previous thread: >>99511
>> No. 100146
[x] Maybe you could tell Kaguya that we finally got Mokou to go to school and that she's wearing the girls uniform. It's hilarious, she should come some time.
[x] Maybe strike those closest to her? Miss Yagokoro might enjoy outsider knowledge on medicine and different practices.
[x] Maybe you could tell her there's a boy at school that likes her?
[x] Maybe you could challenge her to something; if you win, she has to come to school.
--[x] Perhaps even danmaku, but you won't mention that out loud.
[x] Maybe you could lure her in with the promise of a video-gaming club?

Ehh, I have no clue.
>> No. 100148
[X] Mokou mentioned wanting to see Kaguya in a short skirt. Maybe Kaguya would respond the same to Mokou?

If nothing else, Mokou DID say that she would go to school if Kaguya did. If she could be held to that word (and not reminded that she would also have to wear the skirt) then the problem is half solved regardless of what people choose for Kaguya.
>> No. 100149
God damn it, if Kaguya were not so, fffffff-rage inducing...

[X]Couldn't we some how utilize Kaguya's pride against her in going to school? No offense Reisen to her but, I've never heard of "royalty" not take up academics beyond the boundaries of their home. Is there no sense of diplomatic relations for her? Doesn't she care she's hardly recognized by any one at school as any more than some recluse or as some xenophobic outcast? Hardly a fitting image for an alleged princess.

Horrible at best, I'm sure some one else can chisel something out of it assuming there's anything to work with.

What the hell Rumia, is this.. no way...Tsunderumia!? FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUHELP ME FLAN!!!
>> No. 100150
[x] I think we should somehow get at her noble pride by perhaps mentioning how Tenshi and Remilia gladly go to school, where they're quite popular (it might be a lie at this point, it might not)
[x] Perhaps mention to Kaguya that school could be an avenue for her battles with Mokou, but this time on the intellectual level.

I can already see this.
>> No. 100151
>>100140
This, along with using her pride ('I suppose it's natural that you avoid school, lessons are quite difficult') are the best plans so far. We still need a brilliant write-in.
Of course, a danmaku duel would force her to comply, but Jin can barely defeat a level 1 boss...
>> No. 100155
[x] We could use her pride by telling her that princesses are supposed to shine and that going to school would allow her to show her grace to many people.
-[x] Also mention to Kaguya that school could be an avenue to prove her superiority to Mokou, but this time on the intellectual level and for the whole world to see.
>> No. 100159
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100159
>>100136
>> No. 100164
[+] Couldn't we some how utilize Kaguya's pride against her in going to school?

Simplify. Maybe we can kickstart some brainstorming from the others here.

I get the feeling that maybe Flan might have an idea or to in this vein (heh), since she also lives with an aristocratic girl. And at least one moon-person.

Mostly, though, I'm hoping to pick Reisen's brain a bit.
>> No. 100165
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100165
>>100164
>And at least one moon-person.

Even with the strikeout and spoiler tags, I frowned so goddamn hard just now.
>> No. 100167
[x] See if there's anything like a cultural festival or an athletics event coming up. See if you can get them to agree to hold their next match publicly in one of them.
[x] Mention afterwards it's for students and facility only.
>> No. 100168
Ah, this is so easy, you simply tell Mokou and Kaguya that the other is already planning on going to school
>> No. 100169
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100169
[X] Play on the obvious rivalry Kaguya appears to have with Mokou to compel her to attend school
- [x] Get the princess to believe that Mokou has agreed to go to school specifically because Kaguya refuses to do so, in the belief that Kaguya's refusal is due to her not having what it takes to succeed in such a setting.
- [x] Raise the question of what it might mean if Mokou could succeed in something that Kaguya could not, and suggest that going to school as well would enable Kaguya to beat Mokou at her own game, asserting her superiority over her in all aspects and showing Mokou just what her place is in the world.

Alternatively:

- [x] Convince Kaguya that Mokou is forced to attend school due to losing a bet, the terms of which include her having to wear a girl's uniform with a short skirt.
- [x] Spin this as a perfect opportunity for Kaguya to witness first-hand her tomboy nemesis in a highly humiliating and embarrassing situation, as well as being able to further add insult to injury.

>>She... She chomped down on two of your fingers - the index and middle finger of your left hand. Just like that!
>>the corners of Rumia's mouth curl upwards slightly in amusement, a thin trail of blood slowly making its way down her chin as she playfully(!?) sucks on your fingers lightly, eyes connecting with yours and eyelids narrowing lightly.

I get the feeling that Rumia's idea of "foreplay" would be a bit on the rough side.
Of course, I don't think she's the only one...
>> No. 100174
The thing I'm wondering about the Rumia-chomp is - considering that we seem to get powers from donating blood and 'mana', would we get something from this as well?
>> No. 100176
>>100174
>>considering that we seem to get powers from donating blood and 'mana', would we get something from this as well?

Uhh, no we don't. All we got from Flandre biting us was some anti-coagulating chemical that also triggered endorphin production, along with some risk of developing a case of tetanus, which seems to be natural for vampire bites.

For Patchouli, aside from some of her own mana all we would have recieved was the usual array of endorphins and fuzzy feelings that come from making sweet, sweet whoopie followed by a good night's sleep.

As for Rumia, the most we would get from her little love-bite is possibly some infection at the site of the wound.
>> No. 100183
[x] Break in, tie her up and gag her, dress her in the uniform, then demon her away to school.
[x] Have Keine inform Mokou that Kaguya has agreed to attend school, and that she would not give a reason for doing so. If Mokou refuses, repeat part one, with her as the target.
[x] Request that they both spend at least a day to decide how well they both enjoy school before storming off. Maybe you could show them a good time and persuade them to keep coming.
[x] Alternatively, if Patchouli is feeling well enough, you could get her to duel the both of them.

Forceful yet reasonable.
>> No. 100188
>>100149
>What the hell Rumia, is this.. no way...Tsunderumia!? FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

I can't tell whether you're feeling horrified or attracted.
>> No. 100199
[x] We could use her pride by telling her that princesses are supposed to shine and that going to school would allow her to show her grace to many people.
-[x] Also mention to Kaguya that school could be an avenue to prove her superiority to Mokou, but this time on the intellectual level and for the whole world to see.

heh
>> No. 100200
>>94633
>Alright, she's asking for it. Goddamn it, if only you could... Yes! Some breathing space, about a few seconds worth, you've got to land an attack on her, somehow... Focus, focus, concentrate! It's too damn hot! Stupid convection... In desperation, you reach your hand out towards her, palm facing upwards, as if trying to grasp her in your fist. Even you have no idea what you're supposed to be doing right now; you just imagine her and that damnable shield of hers in the palm of your hand, and... squeeze it shut.

Kyuuu...

>>98585

Dreams of Patchy's memories.

>>98895

>You close your eyes. You can sense everything around you, like some harmonious melody playing beside your ears from a music box, each element its own little tune.
>The earth beneath you, eternal, indestructible, smash it and it will only become denser and stronger, life springs from it and death is absorbed back into it.

Continues to go on and on about the elements.
>> No. 100210
>>100200

Yeah somehow contact with some of the girls seem to impart certain abilities and aspects on to him.

Perhaps that insane dream he had early on in the story was caused by contact with Flan.
>> No. 100214
>>100200
I'm going to guess you're trying to make some point about whatever "powers" you think we may have received due to our exchanging mana and bodily fluids with certain girls.

>>Kyuuu...
You do remember we were breaking things with our mind even before Flandre bit us, right? Not to mention that between Jin's naturally getting better each time he tried it, along with Patchouli training, that it's only logical that he would become increasingly effective with his ability?

>>Dreams of Patchy's memories.
See:
>>90609
Non-dream of Flandre's memories.
That dream of Patchy's past (assuming Jin is even the one dreaming it) isn't the first time we've seen things from inside another character's head.

That said, it could very well be that dream and Jin's sudden appreciation for the elements is related to his recent mana-transfer. After all, as Patchouli explained it, it is a "spiritual and physical connection". That said, those particular things don't seem so much like "powers" as they do seem like "side-effects" and will likely not persist any longer than those happy feelings from Flandre's blood-sucking episode.

The point is, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, a bite is just a bite, and Jin is most likely not turning into some bizarre version of Megaman where instead of gaining new abilities from defeating bosses he gets them from swapping bodily fluids with people, willingly or not.

...though, what an awesome game that would make, wouldn't it?
>> No. 100218
For your consideration:

[x] Try to get some dirt on Kaguya. There must be something she doesn't want people knowing...

Closet otaku. She can't very well act so regally if people know she faps to yaoi doujins at night.
>> No. 100220
>>Closet otaku. She can't very well act so regally if people know she faps to yaoi doujins at night.

>>Kaguya
>>fapping

I think, perhaps, being outed as a closet otaku would be the least of Kaguya's worries if she's doing that particular action.
>> No. 100223
Destruction is an enviable power, but what we really ought to do is figure out how to create. It suits Jin's strengths and personality.

We should ask Patchouli later. I'm sure she'd be impressed by our decision to pursue this path over the darker-but-simpler alternative.
>> No. 100224
[x] We could use her pride by telling her that princesses are supposed to shine and that going to school would allow her to show her grace to many people.
-[x] Also mention to Kaguya that school could be an avenue to prove her superiority to Mokou, but this time on the intellectual level and for the whole world to see.
>> No. 100246
Am I the only one who thinks Kaguya was just acting because Mokou was at Eientei and she is actually a nice girl deep down inside?
>> No. 100248
>>100246
Yes.
>> No. 100250
>>100223
I like this idea.
>> No. 100256
>>100223

I love it, it would also make a nice opposite to Flandre's power.
>> No. 100260
[x] Maybe you could tell Kaguya that we finally got Mokou to go to school and that she's wearing the girls uniform. It's hilarious, she should come some time.
[x] Maybe strike those closest to her? Miss Yagokoro might enjoy outsider knowledge on medicine and different practices.
[x] Maybe you could tell her there's a boy at school that likes her?
[x] Maybe you could challenge her to something; if you win, she has to come to school.
--[x] Perhaps even danmaku, but you won't mention that out loud.
[x] Maybe you could lure her in with the promise of a video-gaming club?
>> No. 100265
>>100149
So how about that Rumia route?
>> No. 100267
>[x] Maybe you could tell her there's a boy at school that likes her?

But Jin is the only male at school.
>> No. 100270
>>100267
...wink-wink.
>> No. 100272
>>100267
She doesn't know that. She never comes to school.
>> No. 100274
>>100272
Wouldn't work, anyway.
Remember, she's had plenty of "boys" who liked her before, and her response was more or less to send them off to their doom on some impossible fetch-quest. Even if she's mellowed out a bit since those days, what incentive is there for her to go see one more lowly peon who wishes to worship the very ground she walks upon and would gladly drink her bathwater?
>> No. 100275
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100275
I can see only one way for the two of them to behave and come to school.
>> No. 100276
>[x] Maybe you could tell Kaguya that we finally got Mokou to go to school and that she's wearing the girls uniform. It's hilarious, she should come some time.
I just find this to be worded terribly.

>[x] Maybe strike those closest to her? Miss Yagokoro might enjoy outsider knowledge on medicine and different practices.
Jin isn't a doctor. There really isn't that much he could tell her, and he certainly isn't smart enough to hold a real medical conversation with her even if he did know a bunch of outsider stuff.

>[x] Maybe you could tell her there's a boy at school that likes her?
See >>100274. And >>100267

>[x] Maybe you could challenge her to something; if you win, she has to come to school.
No reason for her to accept in the first place.

>--[x] Perhaps even danmaku, but you won't mention that out loud.
Hahaha.

>[x] Maybe you could lure her in with the promise of a video-gaming club?
meta "knowledge". In addition to being stupid it's also certainly not true. Gensokyo barely has electricity.
>> No. 100277
The only two plausible scenario's I can see are either appealing to her dislike of Mokou (seeing her in uniform), or appealing/striking her pride (the only of the "rich kids" who doesn't go to school, "are you scared?").
>> No. 100282
>>100276
>Jin isn't a doctor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIYF9exhm-Q
>> No. 100314
>>100282

Well, Jin does have a magical penis of healing...
>> No. 100320
>>100314
This joke is going to haunt the poor writefag for a while, isn't it.
>> No. 100321
>>100320
An update before today is over just might exorcise this problem.
>> No. 100324
>>100321
Yes, i hope we can get the whole Kaguya/Mokou thing quickly behind us.

I wish to return to the SDM quickly.
>> No. 100331
[x] >>100169
Can somebody explain why the hell this isn't getting more votes?

Two additional issues:
-Definitely consider playing the Tenshi card. I'm pretty sure Celestials outrank Lunarians.
-How the hell do we convince them to continue attending?

>>100324
Shh, the big kids are talking right now.
>> No. 100332
[X] Play on the obvious rivalry Kaguya appears to have with Mokou to compel her to attend school
- [x] Get the princess to believe that Mokou has agreed to go to school specifically because Kaguya refuses to do so, in the belief that Kaguya's refusal is due to her not having what it takes to succeed in such a setting.
- [x] Raise the question of what it might mean if Mokou could succeed in something that Kaguya could not, and suggest that going to school as well would enable Kaguya to beat Mokou at her own game, asserting her superiority over her in all aspects and showing Mokou just what her place is in the world.
>> No. 100333
>>100331
>-How the hell do we convince them to continue attending?
That's actually a pretty good point. Although it won't be for nothing if they show up for just one day. Doing something you don't like once weakens your resolve, so you're more likely to continue doing it.
>> No. 100335
>>100333

Who to say they wouldn't like it once they tried it? Since the main reason why Kaguya didn't go is that she felt it was below her and rather play MMORPGs, Mokou didn't want to go because Kaguya didn't.
>> No. 100339
>>100214

*Sigh*. It's not the destruction, it's the physical (and mental) movements that are important here. The quoted part had all the parts dealing with hands bolded. How many times before that one there did we use Flandre's signature move on anything? (>>90890 There was the dream in which we dreamed we destroyed the world.)

As for the second part, okay fine. It's probably not a dream... But the part about the elements? Just the paragraph above it, Jin ponders on whether or not the mana transfer has a two-way benefit.
>> No. 100340
>>100333

Well, we're mainly trying to get Mokou to attend. Hopefully, after seeing how happy her attendance makes Keine, she'll soften up a bit. She's stubborn, but not heartless.
And if that doesn't convince her, then our teacher's inevitable misery following her departure will.
>> No. 100341
>>100331
>Shh, the big kids are talking right now.

more like faggots, it's like i am on /jp/
>> No. 100343
>>100340
>our teacher's inevitable misery

>...a glass and bottle on the desk; a few empty bottles are on the floor beneath the desk, one having fallen onto its side.
>> No. 100347
File 12564453448.png - (66.15KB , 300x415 , MediGun.png ) [iqdb]
100347
>>100343

Pretty much.
Taisa is rapidly becoming addicted to despair.
But if it gets bad, we can always lord the fact that Jin's hyper weapon happens to be a medigun over him some more.
>> No. 100348
>>>How the hell do we convince them to continue attending?

Simple, we don't. Because we won't have to.
We've seen how conflict-prone those two are. Whatever stance one takes, the other is practically guaranteed to take the opposite side, simply to spite them.

The trick is purely getting them both at school at the same time. Once you pull that off, you won't need to convince them of anything. The two of them will want to keep coming, if only to avoid giving the other the satisfaction of seeing them quit.

It's Mutually-Assured Attendance.
>> No. 100357
[X] Play on the obvious rivalry Kaguya appears to have with Mokou to compel her to attend school
- [x] Get the princess to believe that Mokou has agreed to go to school specifically because Kaguya refuses to do so, in the belief that Kaguya's refusal is due to her not having what it takes to succeed in such a setting.
- [x] Raise the question of what it might mean if Mokou could succeed in something that Kaguya could not, and suggest that going to school as well would enable Kaguya to beat Mokou at her own game, asserting her superiority over her in all aspects and showing Mokou just what her place is in the world.

Alternatively:

- [x] Convince Kaguya that Mokou is forced to attend school due to losing a bet, the terms of which include her having to wear a girl's uniform with a short skirt.
- [x] Spin this as a perfect opportunity for Kaguya to witness first-hand her tomboy nemesis in a highly humiliating and embarrassing situation, as well as being able to further add insult to injury.
>> No. 100359
>>100155
Changing my vote to:
[X] Play on the obvious rivalry Kaguya appears to have with Mokou to compel her to attend school
- [x] Get the princess to believe that Mokou has agreed to go to school specifically because Kaguya refuses to do so, in the belief that Kaguya's refusal is due to her not having what it takes to succeed in such a setting.
- [x] Raise the question of what it might mean if Mokou could succeed in something that Kaguya could not, and suggest that going to school as well would enable Kaguya to beat Mokou at her own game, asserting her superiority over her in all aspects and showing Mokou just what her place is in the world.
>> No. 100375
File 125647825439.jpg - (39.04KB , 577x375 , 125464527661.jpg ) [iqdb]
100375
"Well," you begin, after taking a brief minute to properly arrange your thoughts on the matter into something vaguely coherent, having forgotten to do much planning on the matter in advance, "I think we should play on the obvious rivalry Kaguya appears to have with Mokou, to compel her to attend school."

"Oh? And how, exactly, would we go about doing that?" Keine responds, tilting her head at you curiously, the hat on her head seeming as if it were glued in place. Seriously, you could just blow in its general direction gently and it -should- go tumbling off her head, but...

"Alright, get this. We get the princess to believe that Mokou has agreed to go to school specifically because Kaguya refuses to do so, in the belief that Kaguya's refusal is due to her not having what it takes to succeed in such a setting." You let your cunning words sink in for a moment, Keine and Reisen thinking hard on the subject, while Flandre looks from person to person around her while timidly sipping the still-hot tea from her cup with just her upper lip. You feel tempted to tell her that this is not some kind of 'the adults are talking now' situation, considering how Reisen and you are meant to be in the same rough age/maturity group as her, but you feel it's best to simply continue detailing your idea.
"Furthermore, we raise the question of what it might mean if Mokou could succeed in something that Kaguya could not, and suggest that going to school as well would enable Kaguya to beat Mokou at her own game, asserting her superiority over her in all aspects and showing Mokou just what her place is in the world." Keine frowns noticeably for a moment, prompting you to add a bit more.
"...Of course, we wouldn't mean it. It'd just be a ruse to get them both to attend. We've seen how conflict-prone those two are. Whatever stance one takes, the other is practically guaranteed to take the opposite side, simply to spite them." Relaxing a bit, your teacher nods calmly.
"The trick is purely getting them both at school at the same time. Once you pull that off, you won't need to convince them of anything. The two of them will want to keep coming, if only to avoid giving the other the satisfaction of seeing them quit. It's Mutually-Assured Attendance."

"I see. That sounds... just obvious enough to work!" You feel a little hurt at her choice of adjective to describe your hastily thought-up plot, but she quickly dispels your disappointment with a warm, reassuring smile.
"It's good to have the opinion of someone less familiar to those two, for some objectivity and a fresh view on the situation. Thank you. Ah, but miss Inaba... What do you think of this idea?"

Reisen's ears droop just a tiny bit - she's obviously a little uncomfortable filling the advisory role here, considering she actually lives with and works for the person you're trying to deceive. Still, she gives a light nod and speaks.
"It, um, could work, in theory. The princess is rather... prideful, and her rivalry with Mokou is rather intense, as I'm sure we all know, so... it could be worth a shot, I'd say."

"Ah, excellent! Then, perhaps we could make an after-school trip of it tomorrow? Assuming you aren't busy, of course." Hm, did miss Keine just invite you to come along with her as moral support? Or is her resolve simply so worn out that she needs you to do it for her? Regardless of which it is, you feel you really ought to comply, just because it'd be the right thing to do. You brought up this idea, you wanted to see her cheer up when Mokou comes to school... so you've got to see this one through to the end.

"Well, sure. I've got nothing planned." Flandre sends a somewhat cautiously-curious - it's the only way you can describe it, really - glance in your direction, still slowly and quietly sipping her tea, not having offered any of her own input so far. Hm, perhaps she's wondering if you'll take her along with you again? Not that you mind spending time with the girl, but for a moment you wonder whether such a choice would result in any more wrist snapping shenanigans, or similar problems.
No, bad, you're starting to think of her like all the others. Don't be stupid, she's not like that, she's just a confused, emotional girl, who has mild trouble controlling her own strength when she gets fired up. Just need to keep her from going nuclear, right? Because, well...

...you're not quite sure how you'd feel about her if she ever -did- lose it completely, assuming what you've heard of her is true. Would you still be able to like her as you do now, or would she warp into a monster in your eyes forever from your fear and panic? No, best not think of such silly matters. She's not like that, it'd never happen anyway, right? Right. That one time with Mokou in the forest, that didn't count. It's not like the girl seemed that badly hurt, anyway. Just as a sign of affection, you lightly grip her hand, offering her a friendly smile which she eagerly returns. The topic of the conversation gradually shifts away from more serious matters, and even Flandre join in on the chat eventually, her courage bolstered by your gesture just then. Eventually, Keine heads into the kitchen to cook up some sort of meal for you all, despite your mutual protest that she shouldn't bother over such things, which she adamantly rejected. In a surprising moment, Flandre offered to help her out in the kitchen, claiming that the head maid back at the mansion had showed her a thing or two on cooking and the like. To further your surprise, Keine actually accepted her offer after a moment's consideration, the two smiling at one another as they headed out of sight, leaving you and Reisen to your idle chat until their return.

"...So. Um. Kaguya was just behaving like that because Mokou was there, wasn't she? I'm sure she's actually a nice girl deep down inside, right..?" You feel a little bad for discussing such matters with an obviously involved person, but you just need some reassurance that people who are genuinely like -that- do not really exist in the world.

"...Well, who knows. The princess isn't exactly the type to relate her innermost feelings to those beneath her in status... Which, in her mind, tends to include just about everyone, haha. But, well... I don't know, really. I'm more directly involved in the business of my master Eirin; she's the direct caretaker of the princess." Reisen sighs softly, staring out of a window in the general direction of the bamboo forest.
"Does my master see something in the princess that others don't? Or is she simply devoted to her out of duty, blind to her flaws? I don't know, and it's not my place to question such things. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I guess I just might find out eventually, myself..." Considering how all sorts of shenanigans relating to the various supernatural humanoid beings in this land seem to magically gravitate towards you, you have a gut feeling you'll be experiencing a lot more of both Kaguya and Mokou, once you get them to come to school. Ah, but here come Keine and Flandre, bringing food! A rather simple meal consisting of rice and curry, with a side dish of Keine's fervent apologies for not having anything better on hand to serve you, which you dismiss as nonsense. You're sure she put all of her love and warmth into this, as did a rather accomplished-looking Flandre, who pretty much shoves a plate in your hands. It's too bad you're not actually hungry at all - whatever that weird food was that Patchouli had prepared for you, it certainly filled you up good! - but you decide to eat anyway, out of politeness and to preserve the smiles on the faces of your lovely hostess and the blonde vampire girl by your side. She's not staring at you strangely anymore, either... What was that about anyway, earlier? By the time you finish the food, feeling rather stuffed, Keine asks if you'd like to spend the night; to be fair, your house is all the way on the other side of the village, and while you feel pretty damn energetic today, you're also too full of food to move comfortably. Grudgingly, you accept her hospitality, prompting Flandre to immediately do the same. Even Reisen politely bows and agrees to stay over, her home being the furthest from the village. It is decided, and once it gets darker, Keine digs out some spare futons for you all, politely offering you the chance to sleep in a separate room from the girls, which you accept out of a sense of appropriateness.

After all is said and done, and you're all snug and warm - well, in this heat wave, it's no surprise that you'd be warm - under the quilted cover, you drift off into sleep surprisingly quickly, not a single worry or concern in your mind. You did good today, you did, so best not to torture your mind over how well your little operation tomorrow might go, or how badly it could fail. Good night, then...

...

"...in... Jin... Jin!"

Huhwha? Your eyes lazily open, the blurry sight before you slowly focusing into the silhouette of a girl, glowing red eyes staring down at you ominously. In a shock from the sudden memory of your little accident with Rumia, earlier, you dart up into a sitting position, only for the light of the moon to pass through the window and illuminate Flandre kneeling beside your futon, an embarrassed look on her face as she avoids looking you directly in the eye.

"Flan, you... *yawn* ...what are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"I..." She swallows lightly, before continuing, finally establishing proper eye contact with you and putting on the most adorable puppydog eyes you've ever seen on a girl.
"I'm scared of the dark... Can I sleep here with you?"



[] Mutter about how silly she's being, a girl her age afraid of the dark; grudgingly let her sleep with you.
[] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[] That'd be inappropriate.
[] Assure her that the dark is more scared of her than she is of it, and she should just go back to sleep.
[] (Optional write-in to specify wording, just so the writefag doesn't misinterpret your intentions -again-.)
>> No. 100376
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100377
Isn't her room in the mansion pretty damn dark?
>> No. 100378
>>100377
Maybe she's lying to get to sleep with Jin.
>> No. 100380
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
>> No. 100383
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
>> No. 100384
File 125648030370.jpg - (59.78KB , 843x375 , 2007-08-12-67179.jpg ) [iqdb]
100384
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100388
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100389
>>[] You're the scariest.

[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
>> No. 100390
She's probably here for one of three reasons:
1) She wants to try this again out of guilt over what happened last time.
2) She's nervous because she's sleeping in a strange place, which she hasn't done in centuries -- so, she's almost telling the truth.
3) She just wants to snuggle with Jin.
Any (or all) of these is fine, but lying is bad. At the risk of seeming patronizing, we should make it clear that she doesn't have to make up fibs like that.

[x] Raise an eyebrow. "...Are you telling the truth, Flan?"
[x] Laugh quietly (so as not to wake anyone). "It's okay. I don't mind if you sleep here."
[x] Don't patronize her too much.

--OR, if you don't care about being patronizing:

[x] Offer to stay with her until she falls asleep.

Be a mature adult.
>> No. 100391
[x].."Are you really afraid of the dark?"
[x]"You don't have to tell fibs, it's ok if you want to sleep here."
>> No. 100392
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
I liked the second write-in... it seems that all anons have decided that Jin should be her soulmate rather than her tutor. Good.
>> No. 100393
[x] Raise an eyebrow. "...Are you telling the truth, Flan?"
[x] Laugh quietly (so as not to wake anyone). "It's okay. I don't mind if you sleep here."
[x] Don't patronize her too much.
>> No. 100395
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100396
[x] Raise an eyebrow. "...Are you telling the truth, Flan?"
[x] Laugh quietly (so as not to wake anyone). "It's okay. I don't mind if you sleep here."
[x] Don't patronize her too much.
>> No. 100399
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100400
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100401
>>it seems that all anons have decided that Jin should be her soulmate rather than her tutor.

Why not both?
>> No. 100403
>>100401
Why not neither?
>> No. 100404
[x] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[x] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100405
[Q] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~

There is no other choice.
>> No. 100406
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~

This time...SHALL BE DIFFERENT!
>> No. 100408
[x] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
>> No. 100409
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100410
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~

Flan time~
>> No. 100411
I just realized two things.

First, of course, there's a possibility that by sleeping with Flandre we're going to get bitten again. Not that we have anything to worry about from the bite itself, seeing as we dealt with the last one well enough, but the fact it would be happening in Keine's house could be...problematic.
However, the trust we'd be showing to Flandre may very well outweigh the potential risk of repeating history, especially because of what happened before.

The second thing is Remilia. She was apparently so worried sick about Flandre's little excursion to Eientei with us, she couldn't even make it to school the next day.
How much worse off do you think she'll be if her sister fails to come home at all, with no warning nor word of where she'd be? Assuming she had not been sent out to find Flandre, Sakuya is probably having to give her mistress enough sedatives to kill an entire herd of elephants right now.
>> No. 100414
[x] You're the scariest.

>>100341
Faggots they may be (and god knows there's plenty of them), but at least they know how to write correctly. That's why even the scummiest of them is better than you.

In before a badly written, petulant, arrogant reply.

>>100411
You raise a distressingly important point.

Well, I'm sure it won't bite us in the ass later on.

Completely 100% positive.
>> No. 100416
>>100411
>>100414

I'm sure Keine sent a message to the concerned households before announcing the decision.
>> No. 100418
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100422
[x] Raise an eyebrow. "...Are you telling the truth, Flan?"
[x] Laugh quietly (so as not to wake anyone). "It's okay. I don't mind if you sleep here."
[X] But isn't she adorable? Snuggle time~

Because I want everything.
>> No. 100424
[x] A loli with upturned eyes, so moe!
[X] Well isn't she just adorable? Snuggle time~
[X] Make sure not to patronize her.
>> No. 100433
>[] Mutter about how silly she's being, a girl her age afraid of the dark; grudgingly let her sleep with you.

Wouldn't this make her act a bit more mature?
>> No. 100436
File 12565043244.jpg - (206.21KB , 753x590 , 8f62ad1ddbc5a24b22dca4b56673b490.jpg ) [iqdb]
100436
Hey, readers! Let's make tonight the negative feedback night. I want you tell me what sucks about this story, everything you hate about it, anything you'd want changed. Of course, it'd be lovely if you could keep it constructive, too.
Thanks in advance.

----------

...okay, she's got to be kidding you, here. A vampire? A mistress of the night, afraid of the dark, even with those bright red flashlights for eyes? There's no way you can believe anything like that. Besides, her own 'room' back in the basement of the mansion was even darker than this at night, to the point of being pitch-black, yet she slept like a baby back then. Granted, she was sleeping with you at the time, too, but still... You can't help but raise an eyebrow, with an amused smirk spreading across your face.

"...Are you telling the truth, Flan?"

Her eyes dart to the side, and for a moment you worry whether you've managed to wound her courage there, until you notice the corners of her mouth slowly dragging upwards into a mischievous smile, and she glances at you from the corner of an eye yet again.
"...Hehee. Was it that obvious?"
She stifles a soft giggle. So that whole embarrassed scared little girl thing just now was an act!? She really is related to Remilia after all, isn't she... You laugh quietly, so as not to wake anyone, and the two of you find yourselves smiling at one another in the dark, thoroughly amused. Ah, this girl is just freaking adorable, isn't she?

"It's okay. I don't mind if you sleep here. But you don't have to lie about things like that; just tell me normally next time, okay?"
You receive a pleased grin in response, and she eagerly dives into the futon with you, pulling herself right up closely against your body; you chuckle softly and put your arms around her, pulling her into a nice warm snuggle... And then you notice something you didn't quite make out too well in the darkness. Since none of you knew in advance that you'd be staying overnight, she didn't have her pajamas with her, sooooo she's in nothing but her underwear. And so are you. So, you can feel her skin against yours, so soft and warm, her little hands on your back as she gently nuzzles your neck. Ohhhhh gosh!

"Humm... Hey, Jin?" Something distracts her in her process of snuggling you into a severe state of unrest.
"What's that?" Oh. Well. Yes, of course -that- would be poking at her in this kind of situatio-...

"Hyaah!" You find yourself suddenly emitting a surprisingly high-pitched noise, and for a moment you worry whether or not you managed to wake anyone up just now; luckily, nobody seems to have noticed, with the obvious exception of a startled Flandre who had just prodded the tip of your penis through your boxers, instantly recoiling her finger in response to your startled noise.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry! D-did I hurt you? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"N-no, of course not! You just, ah, gave me a little scare, that's all..." You try to give her a comforting smile, because her face looks like it's about to tear up any moment now.
"Relax, everything's fine." She seems to calm down a little, staying awfully quiet and averting her eyes for a moment, before hugging herself closely against you yet again, burying her face into your chest.

"G-good night..."

"...Good night, Flan."

Oh boy. You, uh, you certainly didn't expect anything like that to... to...

zzz...

----------

You're in the maze again. Except this time, you find yourself facing away from the fork in the path, towards a long, straight path directly ahead, headed deep into the darkness; you can't see the end. Blindly, you wander into the darkness, carefully feeling the floor and walls as the light becomes dimmer and dimmer, darker and darker, until all you see is pure blackness ahead of you. And then...

Red.

All you see is red, everywhere. A dark, dark red, suffocating everything around you, like you're drowning in a sea of blood. And up ahead, you see two silhouettes, the only color in their forms being bloody trails of tears from where their eyes should be. An angel, kneeling on the ground, and a demon standing before her. The demon's claws are sunk into one of the angel's wings, while she tears at the other one with her own hands. They are both immobile, yet constantly in motion, this action both taking place forever and having stopped since an eternity ago. As they engage in this twisted dance of mutilation, they stain the world around you redder and redder, all the while whispering to one another:

"...I hurt you, because I hate myself..."

"...I hurt myself, because I hate you..."

And then, the loud, wet, painful sound of bones crunching right inside your ears brings you back into reality.

----------

Your eyes dart open in an instant; it's still nighttime. What the hell was that dream just now!? Ah, but... Something more important, something more urgent immediately draws your attention as you regain consciousness, and your perception of the world around you. You're sharing a futon with an almost-naked Flandre. Now, normally this'd be kinda hot, but what's worrying you - and this is quite the understatement - is that she's sniffing and lightly nuzzling the fingers on your left hand. The same fingers Rumia bit. Her eyes are closed, yet you can't tell whether she's asleep or not; gently, lightly gripping your wrist, she presses her soft, warm lips against the bite marks, and you can feel her tongue gently licking at the dried-up blood on the still healing wounds. W-what is she...

...



Flandre...
[] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[] ...Ask her to stop. Maybe she's awake?
[] ...Freak out and leap out of the futon.
-{} Try not to shriek too loudly.
-{} Make a huge scene.

Now that you're awake...
[] ...Go snoop around take a piss.
[] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{} Stay here.
-{} Somewhere else.
[] Go get some air to calm yourself down.
>> No. 100439
[] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{} Stay here.

Let her, this is porbably very important.
>> No. 100440
[x] ...Ask her to stop. Maybe she's awake?
[x] ...Go take a piss, maybe fap a bit, don't want a wet morning.
>> No. 100441
Chances are she's still asleep and just happens to notice the bite on Jin's fingers. On the one hand trying to move away/awaken her may make things worse. On the other if she does end up biting and then awakening to a similar scene of their last night together, either she will freak out or decide against that and try to wake Jin...


[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
Normally Jin's cuts should have clotted. Perhaps Rumia's saliva's similar to Flandre's on its anti-clotting ability?

As for constructive feedback...

I can't complain about your rate on updates, would have been the first thing to complain if that had been an issue.

To be fair I have no complaints, if anything it'd probably be more towards anon, but as of late things calmed down between the warring anons and became more constructive.
>> No. 100442
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
>> No. 100443
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-[x] Here

I have no negative feed back for this story. Other than that with bits like this you whine too much, and you can't take an internet argument well.

And I'm sure you've heard about the bit about having certain things take too long (like Patchy's training) in the past.
>> No. 100444
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-[x] Here
>> No. 100445
[] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{} Stay here.

> maybe fap a bit, don't want a wet morning.
U mad? Totally want to have to explain this to Flan.
>> No. 100446
>either she will freak out

Nah, I don't think so. Maybe just get a bit depressed, but nothing like the first time should happen.
>> No. 100447
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-[x] Here
>> No. 100448
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.
>> No. 100450
>>100436
>Let's make tonight the negative feedback night!I want you tell me what sucks about this story

Damn, this is as hard as "[]Write you own vows" on HLA Post Story. I can't say I have any complaint, it has been so far. Even the despair stories were good.

Oh yeah, maybe you don't interacttoo much, like HY does, but I'm fine with it. Really!
>> No. 100452
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-[x] Here
>> No. 100454
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.
>> No. 100455
[x] Gently pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{x} Stay here.

>Let's make tonight the negative feedback night!I want you tell me what sucks about this story

Needs more Patchouli. And update more.
>> No. 100456
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.
>> No. 100459
[x] Check if she's awake.
-[x] If she is, ask her to stop. Be gentle about it, so she won't overreact.
-[x]If she's asleep, try slipping your hand out of her grasp.
[x] Go wash the wound out and wrap it if possible. Better that you don't risk this happening again when you...
[x] Return to bed with Flandre.
>> No. 100460
>>100455
>>And update more.

Generic response is generic.
It would also probably be valid, were Taisa not apart from most other writers on this site.
>> No. 100461
[Q] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[Q] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{Q} Stay here.

Negative feedback? I don't know. I always feel like something really bad is about to happen and can't properly enjoy the calm parts, but that's probably justified paranoia.
>> No. 100464
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.

I can't seriously find anything negative to whine about. Well, maybe that Patchy H that came out of no where, but that's just me feeling guilty about not actually working hard to achieve the scene. I mean, all we did was cause her trouble, then blew her up, and then we get to fuck her. That just felt like I've used a cheat code, or something.
>> No. 100466
[] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{} Stay here.
>> No. 100467
>>100464

You forgot that Patchy just saw it as a process and nothing more.

And did you forget how Taisa's Patchy is in general before the moment? (Very cold, logical, stubborn)
>> No. 100470
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.
>> No. 100477
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.

>Negative feedback? I don't know. I always feel like something really bad is about to happen and can't properly enjoy the calm parts, but that's probably justified paranoia.
I'd like to think so too. The 'incidents' (Youkai in the Bamboo forest of the lost, Flandre's bite, Rumia in general) are what keep stories interesting.

And, as for feedback... I like the part when you write, I don't like the part where you don't.
...Sorry: it's the best I can do. I've read over 30 CYOAs, so I wouldn't call myself unexperienced but... I can't seem to find a flaw on this story.
As for my personal tastes... needs more Remi.
>> No. 100481
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.
>> No. 100486
>>Let's make tonight the negative feedback night.
My negative feedback is that I have no negative feedback. That's not a good thing, mind you, because positive and negative reviews are a good thing. Not being able to articulate this sort of thing ... in any case, keep going, Taisa. Your work is worth the read.

[+] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[+] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-[+] Here
>> No. 100489
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] Plant a kiss on her forehead.
[x] ...Go back to sleep after a little bit. Make sure she's asleep and nothing bad will happen.
[x] Stay here.

I don't want to lose a finger.
>> No. 100490
>>100467
I've already said it, I'm just feeling slightly guilty because we got the option without much hard effort on our part to pursue the outcome.

It ultimately boils down to a virgin whining about people getting free sex without much effort.
>> No. 100492
[X] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{X} Stay here.
>> No. 100496
>>100489

You're thinking of Rumialol
>> No. 100497
File 125651686062.jpg - (97.75KB , 800x1066 , 125301336681.jpg ) [iqdb]
100497
>Her eyes dart to the side, and for a moment you worry whether you've managed to wound her courage there, until you notice the corners of her mouth slowly dragging upwards into a mischievous smile, and she glances at you from the corner of an eye yet again.

Flandre...
[✠] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.

Now that you're awake...
[✠] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-{✠} Stay here.

Good thing we didn't bring Tewi with us.
>> No. 100501
>>100496
Yeah, but since our fingers were bitten, Flandre might try to suck the blood out of our hand or bite even harder.
>> No. 100505
>>100497
That reminds me of Arcuied, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

[X]...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X]Stay here.
>> No. 100511
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] Plant a kiss on her forehead.
[x] ...Go back to sleep after a little bit. Make sure she's asleep and nothing bad will happen.
[x] Stay here.

Brilliant.
>> No. 100518
[X]...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X] Stay here.

>negative feedback night
Since nobody else seems to be providing, I'll make an attempt: Jin's fortunes seem to have a way of turning from bad to good extremely quickly and with relatively little set-up. Sex with Patchouli, Rumia going from a serious threat to our life to sleeping in our bed, Remilia buying the birthday excuse; all justified in-story with varying degrees of disbelief-suspension, but stepping back a little, they all come from fairly far out in left field.

That's a reach for criticism, though, and I had to reread the archives while consciously trying to find fault before I could come up with that. You're doing a pretty good job here.
>> No. 100520
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] Plant a kiss on her forehead.
[x] ...Go back to sleep after a little bit. Make sure she's asleep and nothing bad will happen.
[x] Stay here.
>> No. 100536
[x] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[x] Plant a kiss on her forehead.
[x] ...Go back to sleep after a little bit. Make sure she's asleep and nothing bad will happen.
[x] Stay here.

I'll have to think about the negative feedback bit.
>> No. 100537
File 125654054588.png - (6.06KB , 300x300 , hungryforworms.png ) [iqdb]
100537
[X] ...Gently ask her to stop. Maybe she's awake?
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X] Stay here.

Her behavior seems similar to what she described when she bit Jin the first time.
>>I think I... I... k-kissed your neck... for some reason, I don't know why... and... and then I just... I couldn't stop. I knew I was hurting you, I knew you were bl-bleeding, but I... I didn't stop...

She's probably being driven by instinct more than anything right now, and so even if she was awake, she'd only be vaguely conscious of exactly what she was doing. If left alone, she probably will bite.
Then again, if it's just the site where Rumia bit Jin already, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let her just get it over with.

>>Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
Good luck with that. If Flan's running on autopilot right now, her currently-gentle grasp could very well turn vice-like in an instant if she detected any attempt to break free.

>>>negative feedback night
I'm not sure how much of a "negative" it might be, but one thing that does sort of bother me about this story is how quickly we pretty much locked-on to one particular group of characters. As many characters as there supposedly is in the class, it just feels like a bit of a shame to see so very little of them.

However, and this is why I would not call this "negative" feedback, that isn't entirely a bad thing.

For starters, it feels more "natural" for the protagonist to stick with a more focused circle of friends rather than trying to go around and get to know absolutely every single person right off the bat.

Plus, focusing things so early on probably helped to reduce the potential conflicts between Anon. Instead of fights over which of the SDM girls to go for, we could had fights over every single person in class.
As fun as such a conflict could be to watch, by that point there would be so many parties pulling in so many different directions, it would probably be next to impossible to make any meaningful progress in any direction.

Otherwise, I can't really think of anything I don't like about this story, aside from the pace of the updates, but that shouldn't be held against you. Shit happens.

I think I'll have to wait until this story has properly ended before I can really look for negative things to point out. Picking out problems with a work in progress is all well and good, but sometimes you need to be able to see it completed before you can really see how everything works (or doesn't work) together.

Speaking of the end, though, there is one thing:
The "incident" involving the continuing heat-wave? I hope it has absolutely nothing to do with Jin or the story. As common as such incidents tend to be in Gensokyo, I rather like the idea of following the lives of the characters who are completely off-screen during what would be the events of a game, just going about their daily lives while the heroines are out doing their usual routine of cracking skulls until they find the right skull to crack.
>> No. 100538
>>100537
>Good luck with that. If Flan's running on autopilot right now, her currently-gentle grasp could very well turn vice-like in an instant if she detected any attempt to break free.
We remove it quickly. Not crazily - no waking her up. Just a swift, sliding motion.
>> No. 100541
[X]...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X] Stay here.
>> No. 100550
[X]...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X] Stay here.
>> No. 100556
[X]...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X] Stay here.
>> No. 100558
>but one thing that does sort of bother me about this story is how quickly we pretty much locked-on to one particular group of characters. As many characters as there supposedly is in the class, it just feels like a bit of a shame to see so very little of them.
This isn't a bad thing, it's called 'Stay on target'
Too many CYOA characters have ended up with a SAD END due to a blatant lack of focus. Let's keep it like it is.
>> No. 100560
>>100558
No, this story had it too fast. The second choice was pretty much "Which girl(s) will you focus on?". Remilia&Flandre won. And now we're in Flandre route (moreso locked by anon than Taisa). I don't think that's a coincidence.
I'm still upset that Taisa wrote for the Scarlets and not Reisen
>> No. 100569
I agree. With so many characters, there should have been plenty of opportunities for interesting and funny interactions, but nooo, we got stuck on the scarlets pretty much from day one. And no I'm not speaking romantically. We should have explored around first before deciding to hide in our 'scarlet cocoon'.

If anything, this is my one negative feeling about this story.
>> No. 100571
>>100569
I don't get it. People moan that they don't want any more Mokou/Kaguya shenanigans, and then someone posts this.
>> No. 100573
>>100571
I'm guessing it's just different people. Some people whine about not enough Flandre, some whine about too much.
>> No. 100575
[+] ...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
-[+] Wake her up if things start getting scary.

I personally don't think it such a good idea to just conk out at a time like this.

As for feedback, I'm inclined to agree that having Remilia and Flandre jump in and dominate the spotlight so early was probably a less-than-good move. At that point, it felt like it was a choice between
[] Accept and focus on the SDM crew,
or
[] Refuse and alienate the SDM crew for the rest of the story.

Now, I have to say, I love the way you write your characters. However, that's a double-edged sword; it makes the interactions with them great, but it also makes it that much harder to decide what to choose at any given point.
That's less of a criticism of your writing and more of a "can't have it all" lament, so I'll cut that short.

I will also say that you've made Kaguya entirely unlikeable, which I'm not really happy about. Mokou wasn't really much better; her "get your shit done and then fuck off" attitude was a lot more off-putting than I expected. It makes interacting with the Eientei crew a lot less appealing, because of the ever-present possibility of running into one of those two twats.
This, in turn, makes the whole thing about getting those two to come to school less of an adventure and more of a chore.

I'm a good sport about things, so I'll play along and not try to derail, but I can't see myself enjoying this part of the story.
>> No. 100583
Well I think Flandre was the major surprise in this story, but I do kinda think that giving them as a starting option was a bit of a mistake.

But it's turning out very well so far.

And there's no shame in staying on target.
>> No. 100586
>>100569
>>100575
>>100573

Long story short, we don't have issues with Taisa's writing but hate anons trying too hard on absolutely anything and we rage against ourselves for it; and Taisa's got to work with that for better or worse.

Don't worry Taisa, you're doing just fine...

On the issue of the Eientei crew, I actually enjoy their interpretation here. Kaguya's rage inducing personality aside, if worked on right, can become a great ally; heck Mokou was easy due to at least providing a certain amount of respect and simplicity. NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND; Not to mention she's not known to be soft to begin with usually.seriously I can't stand it when things are made needlessly difficult when it's easy, but that's more of a personal issue than anything.
>> No. 100587
I like Kaguya and Mokou.

And those of you that are voting to let Flandre continue doing as she's doing, have you considered she hasn't eaten anything since lunchtime? I mean her "special" food.
>> No. 100588
[X] Just pull your hand out of her grip and move it to the other side of her.
[X] ...Go back to sleep. You need your rest.
-[X] Here

Letting her bite us a second time? Not the brightest decision.
>> No. 100597
>>100569
Well, that is your opinion. Other people had other opinions for what they want to do. Just because you don't want it, doesn't mean that other people want the same.
I would have liked to go and get friendly with Reimu and Marisa, spend bro time with Rumia, jam sessions in the music club and have a big performance with them in front of all the Touhous. I would have liked to get friendly with everyone, see what their characters are like, just want to see what Taisa can come up with next. The next 10 Threads just taking it easy outside school and inside with all the different Touhous.

Taisa created an interesting world and it is a shame that we are stuck on Flandre now instead of getting to actually explore it.

The only negative thing that I know is that sometimes(or often maybe) you take Anons Ideas and just build it like that into the story. Feels like already read. Just don't change the good humour in the story, it might ruin it if you do. I just love Jin's monologues and when he spaces out.
>> No. 100611
[X]...Let her do whatever it is she's doing.
[X]...You need you rest. Go back to sleep.
-[X] Stay here.

As for critism...seriously, what? This fic is like concentrated Crack cocaine, with constant, frequent updates and no visible drop in quality. Seriously, what's there to complain about?

Okay, fine, I admit, the Patchy H scene did come out of the left field, and I'm still waiting for an explanation on the whole Heat wave thing, but it's nothing that ruins the experience. Okay, maybe the anons can stop trying to derail the plotline from Flandre, but it's kinda on par for this kind of fic anyway.

Basically, you are doing great. Keep it up.
>> No. 100614
Patchouli's H scene was the two best updates so far. I agree to disagree with every other anon on earth.

Also, am I the only one who thinks that Jin's music is special? I know the western music is new for the Touhoes and all that, but they seem a little too impressed for an amateur's performance? I believe that what he plays isn't normal music.
>> No. 100619
>>100614
And no, you aren't only memorable for smut. Geez.
>> No. 100645
>>100614

He might have musical talent (he's shown himself to be a good artist)

>>100619

Taisa's one of modern THP's rising stars.

>>100597

That is what future runs are for anyways. But I suspect whoever we sat by it would have gone off on to that 'branch' of things mainly. In large cast stories like this and HLA, routes are in little clusters.

It seems this run we're in the SDM cluster.
>> No. 100648
>>100645
>But I suspect whoever we sat by it would have gone off on to that 'branch' of things mainly. In large cast stories like this and HLA, routes are in little clusters.

It seems this run we're in the SDM cluster.

Pretty much this. But nobody says you have to stick to only one group; it's just that most of the default options involve them. Nor am I using hard routelocks, at least in the first run. Remember when I said way back in the beginning that write-ins are always allowed? This includes spontaneously interacting with someone else entirely, if you wish to do so.

You know, maybe I should talk to you guys more about this sort of thing. Answer questions and whatnot.
>> No. 100649
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100649
>future runs
>> No. 100652
>>100648

Yes you should, but at this juncture it's a bit too late.

An idea might be to have tradition SDM supporting case popping up a bit more at times (Marisa, Reimu, Alice, etc) Since it's odd how in our time in the library, Marisa hasn't tried making one of her raids.

But it's just a notion.

>>100649
It's not that impossible.
>> No. 100653
>It's not that impossible.

If Taisa wants to spend the next 2 years of his life writing daily updates, there will still be enough people around and the site is still running, then yes. Yes, it is possible.
>> No. 100654
>>100573
Wait, dude, hold on.

You're saying there are different people reading this story?

No way, man. That's just crazy. 'Cause, 'cause, ...like... they'd have different opinions and stuff, too, man, and that'd be just.... whoa.

Dude. This shit is heavy.

>>100558
Man, you, like... didn't read the rest of his post at all, did you?

Ya gotta slow down, bro. Take it eeeeasy once in a while. 's okay not to just write some kinda reply without readin' the rest. You might end up looking like a square, like here.

...This entire page, man. Everything on it is made of squares. You don't wanna be a page, do you?

Naw, I know ya don't. Readin' seems like a big chore for you, anyway, bro.
>> No. 100656
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100656
...W-well, she seems to doing this in her sleep, unconsciously, whatever it is she's doing. Licking your wounds? You're not quite sure how to react to this, but...
...Wait. She ate just a while ago, right? So she couldn't possibly be...
No. She's on a 'special diet', whatever that means. And you've got a mild hunch on what that just might mean, too... Well, you'd rather not wake her up and have her freak out over doing something like this -again-, so maybe... Maybe it'd be fine to just let her do whatever she's doing? It might not even get to anything like that, so... Yeah. She's just, ah, kissing and licking your wounds, nothing harmful about that... In fact, it's strangely hot, in some bizarre sense, but...
...she moves to the tips of your fingers, gently nuzzling them before pressing her lips to them yet again, and you feel the warm wetness of her tongue against your skin yet again, before she slowly takes your fingers into her mouth. And begins to suckle on them, lightly... Oh god. This feels... you're not sure HOW to feel about this. Something about it feels wrong, yet something about it feels bizarrely exciting. What is she-...

OUCH.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck she bit you.

...again.

Oh shit.

It hurts so much.

No it doesn't.

Huh? Oh, right, Patchouli said that vampire bites do that sort of thing, to keep the victim from panicking or anything... Seems efficient, because your urge to freak out and scream is rapidly vanishing, the pain in your fingers giving way to a strange tingling sensation, as she resumes lightly suckling on them, emitting quiet swallowing noises every now and then.

And soft moans.

You feel something warm against your thigh, and the feeling of a thin fabric against your skin. Oh... She's... She's grinding herself against you. Only lightly and slowly at first, yet her motions gradually become more vigorous as she continues, her grip around your wrist tightening to the point where you couldn't remove your hand even if you wanted to, her fangs dragging shallow bloody gashes into the skin of your fingers, the pain not registering properly in your brain even as she laps up your blood with her tongue, which wraps and coils itself around your digits. Her crotch is starting to feel moist against your thigh, the little vampire girl gently humping at your leg while thirstily sucking on your bleeding fingers, and yet you're feeling so dazed and relaxed about the whole thing, an almost pleasant, tingly warmth spreading across your body from your hand, reaching your brain and turning your thoughts sluggish. You don't even want to resist; hell, you're getting strangely turned on, yourself..!

A soft gasp escapes her mouth, before she continues, sliding your fingers in and out of her mouth, running her warm tongue across them lovingly, occasionally pulling them out to kiss the wounds, all the while bucking her hips against your thigh, her breathing becoming faster and harder, until.

"...A-aa-ahh...!"

This quiet, nearly silent moan resounds through your mind, like a rock causing ripples in the surface of a calm pool of water, bringing you at least partially back to your senses as Flandre's hot body once again becomes limp against you, her breathing gradually slowing down until she's sleeping like a baby once more. You raise your hand into the air so the moonlight from the window hits it; it looks like you've punched a hedgehog, repeatedly. You can't go back to sleep like this. Stumbling around this house you've never been in before, you fortunately manage to find what appears to be a first aid kit, not out of place at all in the house of a teacher, you'd think. Trying not to be too noisy, you wash your hand and wrap up the wounds with bandages, before... Before returning to Flandre; you take care to gently clean her face first too, of course, as well as wipe the girl-juices off your leg. Let's not think too hard about that, okay? You're not sure at all how you should react to what just happened, or if you should react at all - on the one hand, she just chewed on your fingers before continuing into something resembling a bloody perversion of a blowjob, only with fingers, all the while humping your leg, which is admittedly one of the more hot things to have ever happened to you in your lifetime. These two conflicting emotions revolve around in your brain, and thus you drift off into sleep again in utter confusion, holding Flandre in your arms.

...

...

...

The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night. You open your eyes lazily, glancing about your surroundings, feeling somehow lonely; Flandre is missing. Crap, she didn't notice, did she? You pull your hand out from under the cover, examining it in the light. You managed to do a fairly decent job at wrapping it up considering your addled state last night, and the absence of light, at least. You might want to have your torn-up fingers looked at though, just in case; they don't really hurt much, and they still move just fine, so the injuries are probably nothing too serious, assuming you don't suddenly find yourself in crippling pain once the whole numbing effect from Flandre's bite wears off. That'd certainly suck.

Suck.

Don't think of that word, seriously, at least not until you're in a more relaxed environment, with your head on straight. For now, you'd best get dressed, try to find out whether Flandre is alright or not, and, assuming everything is all hunky-dory, get some breakfast in you. On the upside, you feel fairly well rested this morning, and not even particularly hungry. So, yes, on with the clothes, lurk around until you stumble upon the bathroom, take care of morning procedures and stumble your way into Keine's living room, which is dstinctly lacking Keine; however, Flandre and Reisen both appear to be in high spirits, chatting and laughing with each other; hey, Flandre made a new friend? That's certainly a good thing! Keeping your hands in your pockets just in case, you head over to the two, sitting down on the opposite side of the table in the middle of the room. One thing you take notice of is that Reisen is -not- avoiding eye contact with Flandre, as she usually does with everyone else she speaks to. Hm, that's unusual.

"Mmm... Good morning..." Keine limps into the room as well, clutching her head, her hair messy and her eyes narrowed. She looks like you usually do in the mornings, if not worse, her usual smile replaced by a tired, pained scowl.

"Good morning miss Kamishirasawa!" Flandre's high-pitched, joyful voice appears to send spikes of pain through Keine's skull, her face twitching and her hand gripping her skull harder; her hat falls off her head with a clattering noise, leaving the room in dead silence, Flandre suddenly seeming awfully scared.
"I-I'm sorry, did I say something bad?"

"Nnnno... Just, ah... No reason to raise your voice like that so early in the morning, dear... Alright?" And she manages to force herself to smile at Flandre, dispelling her worries immediately, despite obviously having a headache of epic proportions. She picks up her hat and places it back on her head, carefully balancing it, and it seems to just... click back into place, just like that. You wonder whether she sleeps with that thing on her head, sticking to her even when she's in a horizontal position... Hm.

Anyway, breakfast is soon served, Flandre once again assisting Keine in the kitchen, although keeping extremely quiet so as not to irritate her headache any further. She does seem to have a knack for smiling her way through everything, though; is she really that nice of a person that it overrides her own discomfort, or is it just a mask she puts on? Ah, well... Now's the time for eating, not contemplating such mysteries about the inner workings of the various characters around you, right? Once you're all nice and full, the lot of you head out for another day at school, the emotions in the air rather... mixed. You feeling strangely refreshed yet confused over tonight, Flandre seeming utterly oblivious and cheerful, Keine waiting for those painkillers to kick in that you saw her taking when nobody else was looking, and Reisen... Well, she's the token normal girl in your little group, as you walk through the village towards the hill with the school building. Keine hastens her step as people stop to greet her in a friendly manner, waving back at them with a strained smile, in a distinct hurry to get to school; you can't help but wonder how she's going to cope with the chatter of an auditorium full of students, though, if Flandre alone was enough to make her twitch in pain.

Once you arrive, she politely excuses herself from your presence, heading off down the hallway; after you're done changing to your indoor shoes and whatnot, you catch a sight of her outside of Patchouli's office, talking and making what appear to be... pleading gestures? You can't make out what she's saying from over here, but after some frowns and discussion, she sends a grateful smile into the office with a polite bow, heading off somewhere. She doesn't come back for the first lesson, either, leaving Patchouli to give the art history lesson; it's exactly as exciting as it sounds, really. At least Patchouli still seems to be in comparatively high spirits compared to her average state, even the other students seeming bewildered at her voice actually changing tone as she speaks, as a normal person's voice would. It feels like utter drudgery, but you manage to keep your eyelids from shutting for an extended period of time during the lesson... And it's that time again. You know the spiel by now.



[] (Interact with whom during the break?)
-{} (Optional: Specify topic of conversation.)
[] Loner option. Stuff seems to happen to you whether you seek it out or not, after all.
[] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
>> No. 100658
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

>A soft gasp escapes her mouth, before she continues, sliding your fingers in and out of her mouth, running her warm tongue across them lovingly, occasionally pulling them out to kiss the wounds, all the while bucking her hips against your thigh, her breathing becoming faster and harder, until...

>"...A-aa-ahh...!"

That was... amazing.
>> No. 100659
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

Gotta take care of yourself. I mean, you don't want to suddenly lose your ring finger because you didn't check your hand.
>> No. 100660
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

Watch Eirin give us some crazy drug that knocks us out for the rest of the month.
>> No. 100661
[Q] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

We might need to fap again later.
>> No. 100663
>Flandre's high-pitched, joyful voice appears to send spikes of pain through Keine's skull, her face twitching and her hand gripping her skull harder; her hat falls off her head with a clattering noise, leaving the room in dead silence
>her hat falls off her head with a clattering noise
>her hat falls off her head
Well shit.

[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
Better not do any guitar performances in the near future.
>> No. 100665
[X] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

It was so worth it

If any body asked you were dreaming of an awesome cheese steak sandwich and mistaken your fingers for it.

Okay that's terrible but aside from Eirin and Reisen asking, what about the others?
>> No. 100670
>Hey, readers! Let's make tonight the negative feedback night. I want you tell me what sucks about this story, everything you hate about it, anything you'd want changed. Of course, it'd be lovely if you could keep it constructive, too.

Your adjective use is pretty boring at this point, as are any instance of simile and metaphor. Quite frankly, the narrative is fairly simple. Your style is detail oriented, which is nice, but it feels quite bland more often than not. It doesn't challenge, but it doesn't inspire either.

Some of the internal monologues tend to run long. Makes sense when setting a mood or describing a new scene, but awkward when the situation should be expressed more immediately. Getting bitten by Rumia should not have been followed by a small essay about preparing to scream. The intensity of the scene is defused before it even has a chance to sink in.

Your Touhou characterization is well within the bounds of canon and popular fanon, and while portrayed very well, they aren't particularly creative or compelling. By that I mean, they seem particularly shallow; mere characterizations without motivations or interests that exist solely for us to interact with. The only character that has struck me with a 'presence' is Sakuya. Her personality is particularly complete enough (mannerisms, motivations, goals, quirks, etc) that she could operate independently of the story (which, oddly enough, made her a more interesting part of it); everyone else needs Jin as a sounding board to appear interesting and relevant. I guess that's a symptom of the world: everything is pretty static unless we're out there doing something. On one hand, it makes sense we're the Protagonist of Awesome, but sometimes it feels too artificial to be a convincing world. I think some of the time you spend on internal monologues and rambling descriptions of our physical condition can be spent observing our classmates and what's going on around in the school. This may in turn alleviate the effect of the blinders we've placed on ourselves in terms of character interaction.

>>100518
>Jin's fortunes seem to have a way of turning from bad to good extremely quickly and with relatively little set-up.

This too. Honestly, for some one with as little skill with the guitar as you've made him out to be, Jin should have mangled 'Layla' something fierce. But instead, we made every single person within ear shot wet and weak at the knees. Satisfying, but testing our suspension of disbelief.

I have a little more, but I'm going to be nuked from orbit for this anyway, so whatever
>> No. 100671
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
-[x] Think of a way to explain to to Flan what happened to them
>> No. 100672
>>100666
An awesome cheese steak sandwich.
>> No. 100673
>>100670
Thank you! See, this is exactly what I want. This being my first story here, and me not having any prior writing experience, I need this sort of thing badly.

After all, I can't get better unless people point me in the right direction. I'll certainly try to improve my writing as I go.
>> No. 100674
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100674
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

>I'm going to be nuked from orbit for this anyway
Don't be so melodramatic. You just said your opinion like he/she/it asked.
Besides, with so many disclaimers (it works but... it is adequate but...) you've made crystal clear that you're aware that the flame of absolute truth isn't in your hands.
So relax and take it easy.
>> No. 100676
File 125659228575.jpg - (239.97KB , 1600x891 , 39682.jpg ) [iqdb]
100676
>>100673
Forgot your image.
>> No. 100678
[X] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly FlandreRumia managed to chew it up.

Flandre did what now? Don't be absurd. Our hand had been chewed up like that when she got there. That the wound just happened to reopen while Flandre had our fingers in (and out, and in, and out) of her mouth while clearly having a very good dream is clearly nothing more than a coincidence.
>> No. 100679
[0] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
>> No. 100681
[X] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
>>100678
If Flandre finds out Rumia chewed on Jin, shit will be even worse. We just have to talk to Flandre again, and tell her it's okay.
>> No. 100683
>>100670
>Quite frankly, the narrative is fairly simple.
Agreed, but in all fairness, the same could be said of nearly (and I do mean nearly) every writer on THP. I laughed out loud when I read >>>/gensokyo/2481 - the notion that writers here have anything that could be called 'different styles' is really wishful thinking.

>Some of the internal monologues tend to run long.
I think this is part of an attempt to give the protagonist some individuality and make him more than Generic CYOA Protagonist #142, but I agree that it intrudes on the narrative in places.

>Your Touhou characterization [...] isn't particularly creative or compelling.
I disagree with this one. Yes, the characters do mostly stick with their 'stock fanon' personalities, but I find that they're fleshed out well enough to make them interesting, or at least interesting enough to make me care what happens to them as much as I care what happens to Jin.
>> No. 100685
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
[x] Ask Patchouli about what the hell happened (besides that Flan can sniff out blood; you sort of figured that out firsthand.)

I'm somewhat disgusted by the fact that nobody is worrying about Keine drowning her sorrows every goddamn night, presumably because of Mokou's non-attendance (at the very least; there could be even more crap going on).

We should consider quietly saying something about that to Mokou, next time we see her. If she's anything like a friend to Keine, she'll take our words to heart (though she might want proof).

On another note, Flanhump was briefly sexy on the surface, but after thinking about it for even a few moments, it really just makes the whole thing even creepier.

-Best case scenario: Feeding directly is arousing because of weird vampire biology. It almost seems plausible, and yet, so cheap.
-Worst case scenario: Disturbing molestation/abuse/other trauma fucked with some of Flan's mental associations with certain actions something fierce, and the end result is this freaky pile of crazy behavior(s).

>>100672
I would love to be able to cook that well.
>> No. 100688
Here's a question...

...Where the fuck is Remilia?
>> No. 100689
>>100685
>Disturbing molestation/abuse/other trauma fucked with some of Flan's mental associations with certain actions something fierce, and the end result is this freaky pile of crazy behavior(s).

So you're saying Jin is most likely to commit such acts, or you saying in this story, such crimes had allegedly been done to Flandre?

What..?

You may have some thoughts swimming around that cesspool but holy crap don't be spreading that around.

At most Flandre's got self-hatred, based on the recent dream involving her, as well as possibly scattered memories of a mutiny against Remilia. Where the hell does the molestation come from?

Abuse, considering her strength, can't be helped as well as mental trauma induced by it but molestation? Where did that come from?

I bet it came not only from Taisa's despair thread but it exploded exponentially in that anon's mind to nightmarish levels.
>> No. 100690
>>100689
Actually, wasn't there something like that implied in EoSD? I recall a bad end where we made some advance on Remilia and got torn apart, with the comment "I thought you were different" or something similar. I don't think that was ever expanded upon though.
>> No. 100691
>>100689
Forgot to add, I'm not trying to attack you but where did all that come from seriously?

I'm very curious as Flandre, based on the setting and circumstances, is fair game so long as we're willing to go with the bad and good.
>> No. 100692
>>100690
That was SDM:LA with Belmonymous...
>> No. 100693
>>100685

I'd think it's the best case scenario here

[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
[x] Ask Patchouli about what the hell happened (besides that Flan can sniff out blood; you sort of figured that out firsthand.)
>> No. 100694
>>100692
>wasn't there something like that implied in EoSD?
>> No. 100695
Adding to my vote >> 100674 the extra write in:
[x] Ask Patchouli about what the hell happened (besides that Flan can sniff out blood; you sort of figured that out firsthand.)

Call me paranoid, but I don't think that the fact that Flandre is drinking blood periodically is a good thing.
>> No. 100696
>>100685
You forgot the "Flan was having a sex dream, like most adolescent girls do" option.

[+] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

Considering the recent focus on the Mooninites, I believe I should be excused for thinking "Help me EIRIN!"
>> No. 100697
>>100694

EoSD was also an alternate acronym title for SDM LA
>> No. 100699
She's on her mansion, sleeping with more drugs on her blood than a Pro Baseball player. She's worried sick about her sister and she's still waiting for Jin to return and draw the second portrait he promised.

Thankfully, she won't have to wait much longer. Unless I screwed somewhere today (as in, the CYOA day) is Friday.
>> No. 100701
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
[x] Go consult Patchouli on the matter.
>> No. 100702
>>100699

But we did promise Flan to go on an adventure with her on the weekend. If it takes us to the mansion, fine. Hopefully doing another portrait doesn't take 10 hours.
>> No. 100708
>>100670

Ironic, then, that I find Sakuya to be the most boring character out of the lot in this story. Besides maybe Reimu or Reisen.
>> No. 100709
>>100670

Funny, then, that I find Sakuya to be the most boring character out of the lot in this story. Besides maybe Reimu or Reisen.
>> No. 100713
[✠] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
>> No. 100715
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
-[x] Think of a way to explain to to Flan what happened to them
>> No. 100716
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
-[x] Think of a way to explain to Flan what happened to them
>> No. 100734
Somewhere deep down I believe Flandre knows EXACTLY what she's doing, and all the moe moe is just for show.
>> No. 100752
File 125666388473.png - (241.14KB , 390x294 , ayaotdgang.png ) [iqdb]
100752
>>100734
Like that 'I'm afriad of the dark' stunt?
Yeah, it sounds... possible.
>> No. 100759
>>100713
Adding
-[✠] Think of a way to explain to Flan what happened to them.
>> No. 100763
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
[x] Ask Patchouli about what the hell happened (besides that Flan can sniff out blood; you sort of figured that out firsthand.)

We should expect more wounds from Flandre in the future. The sex play may be part seduction attempt, part shaming Jin into not revealing it to anyone, like Patchouli (or as in myth, it could be she derives genuine erotic pleasure from drinking blood). We also know vampire saliva is endorphin-loaded, and from the way she was not sucking blood so much as mixing it with her saliva, she may be priming Jin for more of this in the future.

Patchouli hasn't steered Jin wrong yet, and with her new-found virve, she should be doubly careful with him now. She is also the only one he can reasonably be expected to reveal sexual details to.

>Somewhere deep down I believe Flandre knows EXACTLY what she's doing

I agree, except I don't believe it's deep down at all. She once waged a bloody revolt against Remilia, and was locked in cellar for her transgression. Now, after centuries of playing the regressed child, she is beyond suspicion. She has full knowledge of the breadth of her powers, we know this from that one dream where she destroyed the world.

So she attaches herself to the Perfectly Normal High School Student to show she can handle delicate things without breaking them, and also because he is something outside her sister's control, as much as Remilia had attempted to guide their early interactions. She's still testing the waters; just now making plans without her sister's prior approval, with the cooperation of the protagonist. Doubtless she knows what must have transpired between Jin and Patchouli, but this is a good thing, because Jin being ingratiated with Patch (both in a position of authority in the school and in the mansion) means greater privilege for Jin, and by extension, more freedom for her.

I don't think she sees Jin as anything other than a means to an end, at least not yet; otherwise, she would not have so callously tore his eyes out then his throat in that one Bad End. She is impulsive and sometimes clumsy, which can seem like childishness; in fact, she is just out of practice, as her social skills and finer motor control had doubtlessly deteriorated in the basement, but this can work in her favor, as it helps reinforce the image of innocence. Not to say Flandre is a necessarily malign figure, but I think her interest in Jin is probably some curiosity and novelty, but is mostly about maneuvering out from under her sister's heel.

Rumia too is cannier than one might give her credit for. She did pull a fast one on Jin in the spellcard duel; but I wonder if she actually would have gone through with it, since Flandre would almost certainly retaliate, and Rumia's obviously afraid of Flandre and her powers. That is why she's ingratiating herself with Jin the only way she can, by 'playing out' the part of the little sister, as she thinks it works. It allows her to keep some of her pride, as she can tease Jin relentlessly, but it also protects her from retaliation from Flandre without directly competing with her. That's pure self-interest at work there

I have another epileptic tree that sees Patchouli taking on 'Jin' as sort of a familiar, going all the way back to the pet name (there are kanji for 'servant' that can be read 'Jin'), but also interest at his expressed powers, the mana transfer and the matter of her seeming health--her illness apparently started to get bad after summoning Koakuma as familiar, but is instantly relieved upon having sex with Jin, even though he is no font of magic himself. It also explains why Koakuma, if she is a succubus, prevented her contract from lapsing, and why, when Patchouli had been magically exhausted, she turned to another source for energy--the magically gifted Sera. There was also that cat metaphor that entered Jin's mind as she was stroking his hair. The entire purpose and method of Jin being summoned to Gensokyo is still in the air.
>> No. 100764
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.
-[x] Think of a way to explain to Flan what happened to them
>> No. 100769
>>100763

Interesting. Somehow I think we're reading too much into it. Nonetheless, we should be very careful and keep that analysis in the back of our minds.
>> No. 100773
>>100763

I think while there's a few good points, but you're WAY over thinking things here.
>> No. 100779
>It also explains why Koakuma, when Patchouli had been magically exhausted, turned to another source for energy--the magically gifted Sera.

Despite my shameless love for obnoxious references and shoutouts which I'm trying to quit, just because I included a Fairy Maid reference doesn't necessarily mean these two stories are taking place in the same 'verse' or timeline; although nothing is stopping you from imagining it this way if you'd like.

Just don't think too hard on that particular part, since I assure you it won't actually ever become relevant.

As for the rest of that post... ♪~

I'm amazed someone actually got the 'servant' thing, honestly; I had thought it was too obscure at the time.
>> No. 100781
>>100763

I really doubt it was Flandre that killed Jin in the BAD END.
>> No. 100785
>>Ask Patchouli about what the hell happened (besides that Flan can sniff out blood; you sort of figured that out firsthand.)

"Hey, Patchy, remember that time I slept with the mentally-unstable vampire girl and she bit me, nearly landing me in some seriously deep shit as a result? Well, I went and slept with her again, and would you believe she went and bit me again? I mean, what are the odds? Hahahaha! Uh, why are you looking at me like that?"
>> No. 100792
[x] You really ought to go get your hand checked out, just to see how badly Flandre managed to chew it up.

I fucking knew it. Next time we're going to end up as Bill - except instead of a leg, we'll be losing our drawing fingers.
>> No. 100793
>>100689
>At most Flandre's got self-hatred, based on the recent dream involving her

I thought it was Remilia saying that.
>> No. 100802
>>100793
Could have possibly been Remilia, or that side of her that just goes out of control, however I'm leaning towards the idea of it being a side Flandre wishes to contain.

>>100792
>Next time we're going to end up as Bill - except instead of a leg, we'll be losing our drawing fingers.

As for Bill he received an awesome replacement prosthetic that came with enhanced access to danmaku, albeit with the side effect of possibly losing one's mind.
>> No. 100812
>>100785
I didn't vote for sleeping with Flandre. I feel no shame in admitting that it was a stupid idea.

>>100689
>So you're saying Jin is most likely to commit such acts, or you saying in this story, such crimes had allegedly been done to Flandre?
The second one.

Also keep in mind that that was only one suggestion among the others. I was thinking of anything I could that would constitute "severe trauma earlier in life that fucks people's heads up pretty good." I don't know where you're getting the idea that I'm a dirty pervert who thinks Flandre must have been molested.

Jesus, way to over-focus and spaz out.

Also, you have to admit your reaction to the notion of a molested Flandre is pretty ironic, given that a huge number of voters in this story would leap at the chance to do exactly that, if the votes are any indication.Oh, I'm sure they'll protest and say that goodness no, how dare I insinuate such things about their intentions, but that'll just lead into Bastille-esque idiocy and crappy, flawed logic.
>> No. 100821
File 125668484039.jpg - (399.09KB , 900x930 , 1819e4732c96e9d72c262278dd4c8ac7.jpg ) [iqdb]
100821
As much as you'd love to socialize with the wide selection of lovely (some less so than others) ladies slowly beginning to pool out of the room, you've got more pressing matters to attend to at the time. Such as, for example, seeing about not losing the fingers your lovely little vampire girlfriend so vigorously ravaged last night; or, at the very least, procuring some painkillers for whenever it is that the pain-dulling effect of Flandre's bite does wear off. Ah, but you decide to wait until the room's a little less crowded before storming off in such a conspicuous manner; just in case, you know. Fumbling your fingers with your other under the desk, you take a lazy glance around the auditorium, boredly checking out what everyone else is up to, while Flandre excitedly recounts to you the utterly thrilling details of how she and Keine were cooking dinner last night.

The first-years are being noisy, as usual. Something you've noticed for a while, now, is how Rumia seems to be hanging out with the others less often; she's usually among the first students to head out of the auditorium, by herself. Hm, maybe she's decided to stick herself to you like an annoying little tick because she's lonely? And yet, she's also spending less time with Mystia lately... Well, the rest of them seem to be as cheerful as ever. Though... you swear you were the only male in the school, and yet you spot someone with short, green hair and what seem to be antennae on the head, wearing a boys' uniform. Did you really manage to miss interacting the only other male aside from you for two whole weeks?

Ah well, there's time to investigate this curious turn of events later. As for your own classmates, who you haven't really interacted with as much as you probably should... Reimu and Marisa are both present today - a rarity for those two - presently standing up and discussing something seemingly important as they head out of the class; after the little incident with Sakuya, Reimu had been covered in countless tiny cuts here and there, which seem to have healed by now. Well, as much as you can gauge from the looks on their faces and their gestures, even though they're keeping their voices relatively hushed; relatively, in the sense that Reimu seems to be agitated to the point where you simply can't help but overhear bits and pieces of a sentence or two.

"...And I swear, I sense the presence of a new youkai... probably behind the heat wave... sensed it in the mansion, but didn't find any clues... sensed it near the school this Monday, too..."

A new youkai? Well, you certainly hope whoever it is doesn't end up becoming another dangerous factor during your stay here; two blonde girls trying to chew off your fingers, and one capricious vampire who just can't take it easy... that's more than enough for you, to be quite honest. And you've still got another expedition to Eientei ahead of you, don't you?

Hm, who else. The girl from the kendo club has always struck you as a particularly serious one; probably part of the reason you haven't really stopped to talk to her. Even now, when other students either talk about superficial things, this and that, she seems perfectly content with sitting at her desk, fingers interlocked, with her eyes closed, as if she were meditating. Considering the whole samurai impression she left on you from back when you stumbled into her club room, this may not even be completely untrue. People like her really ought to learn to take it easy, though... Look at you! You've been risking life and limb ever since you got here, and you're chill about it. Half the time, this is due to outside factors like vampire bites or shenanigans with your mentor, but still. You've either got some serious mental fortitude going on, or your mind's been cracked open like a soft-boiled egg long ago. Either way, it beats screaming like a lunatic during your more lucid moments; there's far worse fates than being surrounded by pretty girls all day, deadly as they may be.

Ah, but you've trailed off into another mental monologue. You really ought to stop doing that, it's intruding on your perception of the world around you. Well, if you're glancing about the class, examining your schoolmates, then you might as well keep going.
You find the lack of Remilia disturbing. Then again, the less time you spend being either pinned down or interrogated by the crazy bathead, the better. You wonder what she and Sakuya could be up to right now...
Your eyes come upon another green-haired girl; based on the clues you've picked up here and there over the days, this serious-looking young lady, seemingly already preparing for the next lesson unlike everyone else, would be Eiki Shiki, president of the student council, and the 'Yama of Paradise'. So, a judge of the dead? Why in the name of all things sensible someone like that would even need to go to school is beyond you; or worse, you worry for the souls of the dead that end up being judged by a freaking highschool girl. But then, you don't exactly intend to die within the next forty-fifty years or so, do you? In any case, the girl really ought to lighten up and smile every once in a while...

...Did you remember to return the chessboard?

Moving right along, Reisen seems to have already left. The Prismrivers have made their way to the front of the class, circling Mystia and cutting her off from the rest of the first-years, babbling something to the nervous-looking bird girl in an excited tone; whatever it is, it seems to be going over her head entirely, and a rather frustrated-looking Cirno is trading glances between them and you. You make a funny face at her, and resume scanning the gradually emptying auditorium.

"...And then I almost burned my hand grabbing the plates, so miss Kamishirasawa was nice enough to find me some gloves! Isn't that nice of her?" Oh, Flandre was still talking? To be fair, it's a little hard to focus this soon after having her gnaw on your hand like that. And the whole humping thing... You're not sure whether that should have been an exciting experience, or a creepy one, considering the girl in particular that we're talking about here.

"Yes, she really is a nice person, isn't she?" Although you say this merely to keep up the illusion that you were actually listening to the girl, it's still true. In fact, Keine is so much of a nice person that it's almost unreal, and yet it feels completely sincere. You do feel sorry for the poor woman about the headache, though...
...Hm. Could that have anything to do with the somewhat suspicious bottle collection in her room? Not that that's any of your business, mind you.

So how about those third-years in the back of the room, as few of them as there are? Aya's already gone; that's odd, you never even saw her leave. She must be fast. Komachi is fast asleep on her desk, provoking murderous glances from the student council president. Hm, but if the classes were divided based on maturity, not physical age, then that means..?

"Jin? Is something wrong? You look distracted..." Flandre's concerned voice attracts your attention yet again; perhaps you have spent too long examining your surroundings by now. Half the students have exited the auditorium by now anyway, so...

"Nah, I'm fine... I've just got to go to the bathroom real quick, okay? I'll be right back." She doesn't seem very convinced, but responds with a mild smile and a nod. You hate to lie to her, but somehow you feel telling her that she spent the night trying to devour your hand and raping your leg would be far worse for the poor girl.

...

"I should probably start giving you frequent-visitor benefits, or something..." The silver-haired nurse shakes her head, carefully examining your hand after unwrapping it. Ever seen someone get their hand torn apart in the jaws of a barracuda on Animal Planet? Well, it kind of looks like that, only less extreme. No exposed bone or torn muscle or anything, but there's bits of dead skin and flesh here and there, pale and flaky. What Rumia's razor-sharp teeth started, Flandre's fangs finished in a rather gruesome manner.

"And it doesn't hurt, at all? Even when I apply pressure?" A mildly concerned look on her face, she presses her gloved fingers against your skin in various places.

You shake your head in response.
"Not really... All I get is a tingly, kind of hot sensation. Is that normal?"

"Well. For a vampire bite, sure, although this is hardly something one could call a -clean- bite, as I'm sure even you could tell... Granted, vampires tend to go for sources with better blood flow, such as the neck or wrist. You say she did this in her sleep?" You nod.
"Hm... Well, it doesn't look too serious, most of the wounds aren't too deep... No signs of infection I can detect, either. Hang on, I've got just the thing."

While Eirin is busy digging around the back room for 'just the thing' for your poor mutilated hand, Reisen gets to work cleaning your wounds, despite the blood having coagulated by now. Preparation for whatever it is Eirin is getting? While patiently waiting, you glance at the nurse's desk, strange papers and notes spread across its surface. Well, you're just getting bored while waiting, so you might as well start a conversation about something.

"So, is miss Yagokoro working on something important? I hope I'm not interrupting with my frequent visits to the office..."

Reisen raises her gaze curiously, and for a split second you feel a little dizzy and disoriented, your saliva turning watery and a little salty, before she breaks eye contact with you, looking back down at your hand.
"Ah, well... She's researching something for the princess, you see. But you're not really interrupting; she's been trying to figure this out for a long time now, and the progress has been minimal at best."

"I see..." Well, no you don't, but you figure poking your nose into other peoples' business is just plain rude, unless there's a very good reason for it; and bored curiosity does not a good reason make. Luckily enough, it doesn't take long for Eirin to return with a see-through glass bottle with a mysterious, very red opaque liquid sloshing about inside of it. You know, the type of unknown substance you'd normally avoid even getting close to, especially with all the implications from what you've heard of Eirin from other people.

This better not be anything new and experimental.

"This is one of my new and experimental healing elixirs..."

Oh god damn it.

"Do not exceed the daily dosage of four sips, two for humans and youkai under a century old, one for human children under twelve years... Ah, well, this basically rapidly increases the wound healing process. Considering how often you seem to get yourself in trouble, maybe I should just give this to you for keeps."

"...Is it safe?"

"Well, one way to find out."

Uh-oh.

"Relax. If anything goes wrong, I'll be right here." That's somehow not at all reassuring. Oh well... One sip, right? How much is a 'sip', anyway? Feeling extremely unsure about the whole thing, you open the cap on the bottle and drink some of the strange liquid. It's bitter, and spreads a strange heat around your body; it's not a bad feeling, although it is rather weird. You close it up again and look at your hand, which doesn't seem to be magically healing at all.

"Doesn't look like it works..."

Eirin scoffs lightly. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course it wouldn't -instantly- heal you; let's be realistic, now shall we? Your hand should heal within the next few hours, though, assuming you don't irritate the wounds too much in the mean time. You're not left-handed, are you?"

"No."

"Good! Then it should be just fine. Do try not to go sticking your fingers in any more girls' mouths, alright? While I am not opposed to young people getting frisky like that..."

"...Hey."

"...I still say one should always keep their health in mind, above all else. Ah, but that Flandre girl... Maybe I need to give her another checkup, if she's starting to get dangerous..."

"Wait! No, there's no need for that, it was an accident; she wasn't even awake when this happened!"

"Your protest has been taken into consideration, but I can't rely on your gut feeling, now can I? I've got to keep the safety of the other students in mind, too; we can't have a berserk vampire running around biting people randomly. I'm not saying this is the case," she adds, noticing your upset expression, "but I've got to make sure in any case. I'm sorry. You'd best get going now, or you'll be late for the next lesson."

...

Great. You got treatment for your hand, but you might have inadvertently gotten Flandre into trouble while doing so. Way to go. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go to the person in charge of Flandre's psychological evaluation with this after all. On the upside, the faster your hand heals, the less time you'll have to spend keeping it a secret from Flandre - and Remilia and Sakuya, if you happen to bump into them anytime soon.

Speaking of bumping into things... Your encounter sense is tingling; a familiar sense of dread sinks into your nerves, warning you of imminent pouncings. Gracefully sidestepping just in time, a black-and-yellow blur forms into a humanoid shape before you, time seemingly slowing down as your faces meet in the middle of your respective motions. Rumia's blazing red eyes glaring right into yours, eyes wide with the thrill of the hunt, teeth bared in a wicked grin, hair all messed up in excitement.

"...Hey, bro?" she says, her voice playful yet strangely hushed.

"...What are you-..?"

"Run~"

'Nuff said. Your feet are already moving, arms swinging through the air as you frantically dash away from the blonde menace, hearing a subdued cackle from behind yourself as she gives you a head start; only about five seconds' worth, before rocketing after you with demonic haste. With Rumia, it's impossible to sense whether or not she's serious, and you're not about to take your chances with a girl who could potentially rip out your intestines and strangle you with them. Left, right, right, left, up the stairs; okay, that last one may not have been the smartest move you've ever made, but your head is hardly on straight at the moment. As you find yourself outside of the club rooms, you have about a second or two to consider diving out of the (second-storey) window at the end of the hall to relative safety, before your sight diminishes as a black orb slams you right in the back, sending you both tumbling against the wall.

"Gah! Get away! Stay back! HELP!" Those are the last words you manage to utter, before the sinister little girl presses her hand to your mouth, drowning out your voice, staring at you with that merciless smirk of hers, pupils still dilated from excitement.

"Gotcha~"

Gotcha? She lets go of your mouth, sitting down in your lap and giggling to herself like a lunatic.

"The fuck is the matter with you?"

"Ahaha~ Lighten up, it was funny! Haa, you looked so scared! It's been a long time since I had such fun~"

"Geez... Don't you have anything better to do with your life than bother me all the freaking time? Honestly..."

She looks up with a pensive expression for a brief moment, before shrugging at you with a smile.
"Nope, guess not!"

Huh. That's kind of sad, in a way. You should probably blame poor parenting. Before you can properly catch your breath, she resumes speaking.

"So, bro... How's that hand of yours?"

"Eh? What do you-..."

She grips your wrist with enough strength to cause a considerable amount of pain, twisting it until you're completely in her control, pulling your hand up to the level of her face; her grin just spreads wider and wider as she looks at your mangled fingers.

"Getting along well with Flandre, aren't you~?"

"H-hey, shut up, she didn't-..." Wait. Did Rumia plan this?
"...Was that your intention?"

As if you'd triggered something within the twisted girl on top of you, her face suddenly draws closer, a mere inch or two from yours.
"Teehee~ And what if it was? And what if I was trying to get you to see her as the bloodsucker she really is? You know... Humans are supposed to be afraid of youkai. Vampires, demons, undead, monsters... Attacking humans is a youkai's job. If humans are no longer afraid of us, then that's just no good, right? Tell me... Were you afraid of her when she did this to you? Did you fear for your life? Did you see her as a monster?" Her grip on your wrist loosens a little, until she lets you go, leaning back a little and straddling one of your legs.
"And just now? Were you scared? Did you think: 'Oh no, Rumia is going to kill me!'? Hmmm~? You didn't wet yourself in panic, did you?" You yelp out in shock, as her hand lightly grazes over the front of your pants.

"D-don't touch me there!"

"Touch you where, exactly?" Ah, that familiar, monotonous voice, the lavender robes emerging from the darkness surrounding you and Rumia, those cold, violet eyes staring daggers in Rumia's direction, making even the blonde she-devil momentarily tremble, as if she were startled by Patchouli's sudden appearance. And, honestly, who wouldn't be? Except you, of course - naturally, you appreciate her appearing to save you from this out of the blue, the deus ex machina in the story of your life. Calmly, she walks over to Rumia, who promptly climbs off your leg and stands upright... And leans down, their faces now level, staring her right in the eye for a few seconds before opening her mouth.

"You feel a strong urge to go to the bathroom."

Rumia doesn't need to be told twice; the girl can apparently take a hint as well as anyone else, zipping off and taking the little bubble of darkness along with her. To your surprise, Patchouli holds her hand out to you, helping you get back up on your feet.

"...Thanks. Though, um, that was..."

"...Unnecessary?"

Both of you look each other in the eye for a brief moment, and you can't help but chuckle lightly; even Patchouli's face seems to take on a mild smirk for a brief moment, before glancing over her shoulder.

"I was simply passing by. Though, I wonder... Just what were you two doing here..?" She almost sounds... disappointed, somehow for some bizarre reason. You dearly hope she didn't get any weird ideas from hearing your exclamation before her appearance out of context.

"Nothing, nothing, Rumia was just... playing another of her pranks on me."

"I see." Turning her eyes back to you, she lowers her gaze to your hand.
"And that? Another of Rumia's pranks?"

"Er, well..."



[] You were attacked by a wild squirrel.
[] Yes, Rumia chewed up your hand.
[] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
-{} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.
[] (...)
>> No. 100822
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100823
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.

>"...Thanks. Though, um, that was..."

>"...Unnecessary?"

>Both of you look each other in the eye for a brief moment, and you can't help but chuckle lightly; even Patchouli's face seems to take on a mild smirk for a brief moment, before glancing over her shoulder.

Awesome.
>> No. 100827
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100828
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.
>> No. 100830
[0] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{1} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.

I don't want to embarrass Flan.
>> No. 100831
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100832
[Q] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{Q} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.

Okay, now your Patchouli is awesome.
>> No. 100833
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100834
[X] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{X} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.

Patchy~
>> No. 100835
File 125668599431.jpg - (35.20KB , 299x618 , patches.jpg ) [iqdb]
100835
[] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.


Patchy~
>> No. 100837
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100838
[] You were attacked by a wild squirrel.
[] Okay seriously, tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100839
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.

Patchy's great.
>> No. 100840
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100841
[+] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{+} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.

...Or Jin, for that matter.
>> No. 100845
[+] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{+} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100848
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100850
"...And I swear, I sense the presence of a new youkai... probably behind the heat wave... sensed it in the mansion, but didn't find any clues... sensed it near the school this Monday, too..."

uh red herring or you trying to say something?
>> No. 100851
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100853
>>100850
Well, who do we know that was unleashing their power in the mansion when Reimu busted in, and was unleashing their power -again- near the school on Monday?
>> No. 100855
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.

What the hell? Yes, goddammit, tell her everything.

It's not like we're ratting Flandre out. If there is a problem, I'm pretty sure not informing Patchy isn't going to make it better, and ignoring it won't fix it.
>> No. 100856
[x] You were attacked by a wild hippopotamus.
--[x] It was a ferocious battle, one of epic proportions!
[x] Yeah, no, it was Rumia. You made it worse by not being all too skilled at cleaning and bandaging it.
>> No. 100858
>>100853
So, Jin's pathetic powers display a reading that is similar to a Youkai? If that's the case, then I'm pretty sure that he is the reason of the endless summer.
I mean, that'd make him the newest youkai. And we know who's behind every single incident in Gensokyo, right?
It always is the new Youkai
>> No. 100872
>Do not exceed the daily dosage of four sips, two for humans and youkai under a century old, one for human children under twelve years...
>Oh well... One sip, right?

Oops. Fuck. My bad.

Jin is not suddenly under twelve years old. He took two sips.

Carry on.
>> No. 100875
>>100855
Curiously how's the leg humping business not really considered a private matter between Jin and Flandre, who most likely did not realize it sleeping. In fact what makes that relevant to what Patchouli really needs to know?

All Patchy needs to know is that, Rumia bit his digits, possibly with the intent of trying to complicate or wreck his relationship with Flandre; which seemingly failed. Flandre in her sleep mauled his fingers unintentionally. She did not exactly rip the fingers off like a trash compactor would tear rotten meat. On top of that with Eirin applying the use of a shady new drug, who knows what that may do to Jin's already slow but seemingly quiet mutation into becoming a youkai.

Why on earth would she need to know Flandre's fantasies?
>> No. 100876
>>100875

That's on top of taking a good bite out of one of Tenshi's peaches.

And application of his rod to a Magician Youkai and having her 'arrive'

But being a Youkai isn't the worse thing in the world, it'd help him survive better.
>> No. 100883
>>100879

We're not even sure what's going to happen, much less Jin, and while we might have our suspicions, Jin himself has no reason to really doubt his humanity...at least, not yet. Asking about at so soon might qualify as a sort of pseudo-meta knowledge. Or at least, asking about it due to the peach would.
>> No. 100885
Acting on what we know now would seem pretty meta to me. I say just go with the flow and let it play out in time.
>> No. 100887
>>100875
What? Jesus Christ, no. Can you people miss the point any harder?

See, the problem is that I see the leg-humping as disturbing and unexpected behavior. I would like to know what the fuck caused that, and will that happen again, the next time she feeds? Or does she do that just because it's Jin? What's going on?

But as I kind of expected, Flanfags seem to just think nothing other than DUDE THAT WAS HOT, and so all you were apparently able to focus on was how it was something sexual.

Where the fuck did fantasies come into it?
>> No. 100893
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Tell her -everything-, including your dream, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.

Patchy is the one person we can trust.
>> No. 100894
>>100887

Keep bitching, maybe someone will care.
>> No. 100897
>>100887

One thing is for sure is that we should avoid any more nighttime feedings if we can.

But the thing is who to say how Patchy might respond that that? Since she seems rather protective of Jin as of late.
>> No. 100898
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-[x] ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100899
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100907
>>100887
>See, the problem is that I see the leg-humping as disturbing and unexpected behavior.

Give yourself some time as you're not obligated to respond in kind. We're all anon so no need to take things personally.

However can't you see how ridiculous this phrase is? Next thing I'm going to expect from some one like you is a proclamation that masturbation is an awful crime against humanity.

As for the fantasies bit, you don't think any one is capable of dreaming/fantasizing about having sex?

Now this is beyond the scope of the cyoa as it seems more of a personal issue that you need to settle for your own health of body and mind.

Please do not proselytize here as I don't believe many appreciate it.

I'll end my feeding for now on crazed anon, onward with the cyoa Taisa~!
>> No. 100945
>>100907
>Give yourself some time as you're not obligated to respond in kind.

That rhymed. And then it got my hopes up that you would do the entire comment in haiku. Or limerick.
>> No. 100949
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.
>> No. 100950
[X] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{X} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.

As much as I want Jin to end up with Flandre, if there is one person who has shown to be deserving of our trust, it's Patchouli. If that is important, she'll know and if it's not she'll probably tell it right away.
>> No. 100951
[x] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{x} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.
>> No. 100954
[X] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{X} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.
>> No. 100957
After some thought, I'm rescinding the vote I placed in what was previously >>100873. If there was a count please ignore '1', for 'don't mention the humping'.

[+] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-[+] ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.
>> No. 100993
[X] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{X} ...Don't mention Flandre's leg-humping though. Wouldn't want to get her into any more trouble.

Remember when we visited the shrine? Reimu said we smell like a youkai.
>> No. 100997
>>100907
I can't read your post without laughing. Are you serious?

Man, you have to be a troll. Nobody can be as arrogant as you are, and definitely nobody could make missing the point into an art form, as you are doing.

On a serious note (which I'm sure you'll ignore), have you considered political writing, or perhaps a position with Fox? They would fucking love to have someone like you.
I know you'll think I'm making fun of you by asking that, but I'm quite serious.
>> No. 101002
[✠] Not exactly. Tell her everything that happened, both with Rumia and Flandre.
-{✠} ...Tell her -everything-, just in case it might be relevant or important somehow.
>> No. 101014
File 125674441741.jpg - (148.76KB , 800x600 , 8a2dff181534e86af3c30a211bfaae9d.jpg ) [iqdb]
101014
Hey, I just realized this, where's my drunk loli?
>> No. 101018
>>101014
This is going to piss you off something fierce, but... Remember when the protagonist visited the shrine?

I forgot she existed.
>> No. 101020
>>101018
Okay, I nearly died laughing on my chair.
>> No. 101027
Also, noticed another error. The contemplation of seven elements and whatnot... I only just occured to me that instead of air, there should have been wood instead.

I really need to re-read this stuff more carefully before I post it.
>> No. 101039
>>100875
We have already established that, at least in Gensokyo, sex is not just sex. Having revitalized someone with it, and them having a succubus familiar before that, should make that obvious. Vampires, meanwhile, have frequently been portrayed as sexual creatures, though I will admit that sex and their mystical tricks are usually indirectly related. Hence, is there ritualistic subtext we are missing (and we'd be asking a former professional vampire researcher to boot)?

This is a Gensokyo CYoA, though, so all things are suspect. At the very least, Jin doesn't have to blurt out every detail. A prudent approach would be to stop short, just realizing what he was about to say, Patchy tells him to spit it out, and the detail comes out gently that way.

I believe that's the point >>100887 was aiming for, anyway.

>>100997
Nah, Fox may sound arrogant frequently, but they're never that off the mark while being serious.
>> No. 101072
So... Jin had sex with a Youkai Wizard with mastery over the elements, was bitten by a vampire (twice), is in possession of a magical artifact, has received one of Eirin's mysterious drugs and, on top of that, ate one of the heaven's fruits that makes humans inmortal?

Geez, he really is fucked up, no? I'm surprised that he didn't turn into a 9-legged transsexual mutant flying octopus.
Now we only need Yukarin to fuck up with his boundaries and we'll have all cliches covered.
>> No. 101079
>>101072
To be fair, the readers chose to do all but two of those.
>> No. 101086
>>ate one of the heaven's fruits that makes humans inmortal

Until we get some actual proof that is what it was, I'm going to continue assuming it was just an ordinary peach.
>> No. 101113
File 125675210413.jpg - (428.03KB , 900x900 , RAGE.jpg ) [iqdb]
101113
>>101018
Taisa, how... how could you? That's horrible.

I- I don't think I like you anymore.
>> No. 101115
>>101086
You'd think Patchouli, Eirin, Flandre or Reimu, the human youkai-detector, would have noticed something drastic such as Jin being endowed with celestial immortality.

Then again at least Reimu's radar is picking up something.
>> No. 101140
File 125675317692.jpg - (211.73KB , 980x735 , Suika OWNs.jpg ) [iqdb]
101140
>>101018
Suika isn't amused.

More seriously, though, I would love to see how Keine would react to Suika coming to school drunk.
>> No. 101228
File 125675662286.jpg - (78.65KB , 300x300 , noooooooooo.jpg ) [iqdb]
101228
I forgot she existed.

Isn't it sad, Suika?
>> No. 101292
For all we know she could have been in mist form to avoid school (and sobriety)

But how does one forget Suika?
>> No. 101293
>>100997

And he is the arrogant one?
>> No. 101308
Ran out of steam mid-update.

Writefags are brewing coffee, please wait warmly.
>> No. 101309
>>101308
You make it fresh or do you go for the instant coffee... stuff?

tried very hard not to say horrible things about instant coffee damn it
>> No. 101310
>>101309
Instant coffee sucks, but it gets the job done.
And destroys your soul
>> No. 101311
>>101309
Fresh, naturally. Instant coffee is pig disgusting.
>> No. 101312
File 125676709080.jpg - (72.89KB , 800x600 , 20091018214501764.jpg ) [iqdb]
101312
In the mean time...

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ktwz3ymgdmd
Gensokyo High, the VN. In no way affiliated with THP. Art is rather simple and I'm only using ATLAS so I can't comment on the quality.
>> No. 101313
>>101308
Brewed with the tears of a sad forgotten Suika, I'll bet.
>> No. 101316
File 125677008175.jpg - (537.33KB , 596x1000 , suikasstanceoninstantcoffee.jpg ) [iqdb]
101316
>>101313
She could be just hanging out with an out of action Suwako...
>> No. 101332
File 125677473615.png - (148.33KB , 600x574 , sookayugi.png ) [iqdb]
101332
>>101316
nah way
>> No. 101334
>>101333