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File 124206455787.jpg - (487.52KB, 1300x1526, 2785336.jpg) [iqdb]
23926 No. 23926
Warm. Warm sun, warm wind, warm skin up against mine, warm hands stroking through my hair, warm feeling all through my body. Warm, is what it is, when I first wake up, and that's just the best way for it to be.

"Good morning." A voice from my back, too calm for her own good.
"Mmm..." Still hard to talk. Gotta work out the sleep from my throat with a drink.
"What, already? You haven't been awake five minutes."
"That's the best time to have a drink though! Feel that burn, getting you all ready for the coming day!" Before she has time to react, my gourd is at her lips, full of liquor so strong I can practically feel her getting hotter with every struggled "glug." I dunno why she's struggling, though, I'd be plenty happy if a friend was sharing her drink with me. Maybe it's a human thing.

Speaking of sharing. "So Reimu. Whatcha got planned for today? Other than coughing and stuff." Which is apparently pretty high on her priorities judging by how she can't even get out a sentence between 'em. Five or six swigs later she manages to choke out, "Not drinking. You just gave me enough to last me two weeks."
"Well. Suit yourself, but I'm feeling kinda bored already..."

>

~~~

You are an oni. You have no social or physical inhibitions, and your writer is mildly insane. Have fun with this, or I'll have fun for you. Don't even bother with caution, or I will discount your votes.
Expand all images
>> No. 23928
[x] Go beat up some youkai for the fun of it.

NICE
>> No. 23929
Oh yeah, and the number of votes doesn't particularly matter. Even if you think you're pissing against the tide with your idea, if it sounds like more fun I'm going with it.
>> No. 23931
[x] Go beat up some youkai for the fun of it.

Oni-modo
>> No. 23932
[x] grab a random guitar and play Dragonforce at 3x the usual speed, then scream out your love for Yuka
>> No. 23934
[x] The school teacher at the human village has been getting kind of annoying lately. Go mess with her by stealing her underwear and filling her sock drawer with booze and insects.
>> No. 23935
[x] The school teacher at the human village has been getting kind of annoying lately. Go mess with her by stealing her underwear and filling her sock drawer with booze.
>> No. 23936
Right then. Write then.

Busyish today, might not go as fast as I'd like to.
>> No. 23937
File 124207014815.png - (59.66KB, 712x800, 71912cb7dbbb9e1bc350a1d9f0f3a23b.png) [iqdb]
23937
"I think I'm gonna go play around at the village for a while. I've got some business with the school teacher."
"Have fun, then." With a "hut", she stumbles up and over to the nearest door to the shrine. By the time I'm gone, she's still trying to open it.

The human village isn't too far away, which is a shame when I want to walk slowly and take it easy. This time though, I'm on a mission, and one with a time limit – class should still be in session this time of day, and if this is gonna work, I've gotta be fast. Two minutes of flight, one unconscious tengu and a stop at a pet shop later leave me at the door to the school trying to look inconspicuous. Right, so. Quiet. No slamming doors, no bumping into things – I can hear her lecturing someone about eating bugs, good.

The second floor of the school acts as her home, if I remember correctly from the way people were waiting in the trees outside of her windows. I never really got that, but I can't knock a guy for wanting to see a naked cow, I guess. My foot's already on the first step by the time I realize they might be creaky and that I can fly, which of course means I can call it a challenge! Unfortunately they don't actually creak or anything. Ruin my fun, why don't you...I ought to mess you up, stairs!

...Later. You'll get yours.

Those fun-hating stairs get one last mean glare from me before opening doors, closing doors, open close ugh boriwait a minute that's her room! Fantastic, that's what I'm here for. Second drawer from the bottom has all her socks in it, all soft and frilly and perfect for this. Gotta go slow, gotta be careful, gotta...take a few more swigs. Those socks don't need a drink half as much as I do. Let's make a game out of it, eh?

So apparently putting bugs into a sock drawer is really hard when you're trying to drink at the same time. They get all tickly and stuff up and down your arm and you're trying not to laugh but you have to drink and you can't even look! Next up is the booze, though, so as much as it hurts to do this, I keep my hand out until the drawer is sufficiently soaked. Now all that's left is to wait under her bed.

And man does she ever take her time. I'm already, like...30 swigs in. And one of 'em was extra-big, too! But whatever, she's here...Smells like she's straight out of a shower. Perfect. Light steps over to the dresser...Top drawer, and her panties slip on...second drawer, third drawer, come on come on come on

"EEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" YES! PERFECT!
"Nyahahahahaha!! Got you good!"
"What?! Suigaaaah!" Can't let her get her footing! Arms up, arms down and run!

And let me tell you, nothing feels quite like struttin' down the street, spirits high, little pink panties in one hand and booze in the other. That'll teach her to lecture me. Today's gonna be a good day, it is, and this is just the start of it.

>
>> No. 23938
>>23937

[x] Fuck! You haven't had a drink in a good 12 seconds. Rectify that and fly over to the Celestials Palace and go bug Tenshi.
>> No. 23939
File 124207086853.png - (581.61KB, 774x1252, e988b3b3958f3920531c3442de4dfb5d.png) [iqdb]
23939
[x] Fuck! You haven't had a drink in a good 12 seconds. Rectify that and fly over to the Celestials Palace and go bug Tenshi.
>> No. 23940
>I never really got that, but I can't knock a guy for wanting to see a naked cow, I guess.

Oh my.

[x] Fuck! You haven't had a drink in a good 12 seconds. Rectify that and fly over to the Celestials Palace and go bug Tenshi.
>> No. 23941
>>23939
Yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking when I was writing the OP.

Writingish? The world may never know.
>> No. 23942
File 124207836690.jpg - (101.31KB, 850x510, sample-1b0d9119875a51a7616a5ee6543c5764.jpg) [iqdb]
23942
Correction. Nothing feels quite like struttin' down the street, spirits high, little pink panties in one hand and booze in the stomach. This was a great victory! This deserves a great drink! This deserves a drink for the ages!

And a drink for the ages it is. By the time that gourd leaves my lips it's already night time, and there's a crowd of people waiting and watching, to meet the end of this monstrous drink with applause. Fuck yeah. Still, though, this seems like it could be better. Maybe. Probably.

It could certainly be more fun, at least. Drinking alone is all well and good buTENSHI. I should go see her, it's been so long and she put up a good fight last time! Drinking and fighting, drinking and fighting! That's the way to go! Wait, no it's not. Up is the way to go. What am I talking about? Up, up, up, through the clouds to the top of the mountain and the top of the world, with the sun shining like it ought to – if only for a little longer. Going high does that, I guess. It also gets people all hot and bothered, all "Get off my mountain" and "Don't touch that" and "Oh god rock slide". They just can't take my climbing skill. Pfft.

Still, doesn't take long to get where I'm going. Maybe 50 swigs, almost a new record! Also doesn't take long for Tenshi to start a fight. It never does! She's great like that.

"So what are you doing up here again? Looking for trouble?"
Oh, Tenshi. Sweet, predictable Tenshi. "No, no, no. What kind of trouble could I possibly get in up here? Nobody around can stand up to me in a fight. I could, however, go for..."

[ ] A drinking partner
[ ] A punching bag
[ ] A good lay

--

I didn't know much about Tenshi and I've never beaten SWR with Suika. Had to do some reading and danbooru surfing, sorry for the slowness.
>> No. 23943
>>23942

[ ] A good lay. Chain up the unruly celestial and have your way with her.
>> No. 23944
[X] A good lay.

Of course, Tenshi will only put up token resistance.
>> No. 23945
[X] A good lay, drinking partner and punching bag. All at the same time.
>> No. 23946
[x] A good lay
>> No. 23947
[P] Chain her up, get her drunk and have -fun- with her.
>> No. 23948
[X] A good lay, drinking partner and punching bag. All at the same time.

Wins. Forever. Everything. Writing in a little bit.
>> No. 23954
Writing is delayed because I can't write porn with children over my shoulders. When it comes, it'll come.
>> No. 23963
File 124209490516.jpg - (524.36KB, 740x1047, 827ec59a198d6364c26fb4c9b4de9796.jpg) [iqdb]
23963
Faking thought for a second, I take another swig from my gourd. This's gonna be fun. "...you."
"Wha-" Her protest is cut off by the very sudden impact of a chain, wrapping around her (as chains are wont to do) and pulling her in close enough to kiss – sharing another drink in the process.

"Now drink up! The night is young!" Of course only seconds after saying this do I realize just how silly it is, considering she can't actually move her hands or anything. That's fine though! Wouldn't be the first time I shared today! Unlike Reimu, though, she sees it coming and closes her lips. Now, that just won't do. That'd make me frown, and in fact it does. I mean really! Who doesn't like drinking? "Do you really want to do this the hard way? Come on, now, it's good for you!" It's like talking with a child, really. Do I have to make airplane noises? Actually that'd be pretty fun. Let's make airplane noises. Vroom! I'm flying! Wait, she's still chained to me and being dragged along the ground. I didn't want to hurt her! Yet! Another quick pull, only to find her lips are still sealed tight. Tut tut, Tenshi.

"Do you want me to hit you or something? Is that it?"
"Mmmngh!" Clever girl. Well, she got all wide-eyed and she looks pretty excited, so I guess that's a yes!Violence it is! It only takes a knee to the gut before she opens up gasping for a drink. I knew she'd see it my way. Or, you know. Taste it my way. I'd ask for clarification but it's kind of hard to talk with a gourd halfway down your throat. Though, for all that she holds her alcohol pretty well. Almost been 20 swigs, now! My turn, methinks, but as I pull the gourd from her mouth, she grasps after it like a baby.

"Hey, you had your turn." Full tilt, up goes the gourd and down goes the sake. The whole time, though, Tenshi's looking at me with tears welling up in her eyes and whispering to herself. It's not until I get through my turn that I hear what she's saying, if you can even call it saying. In the tiniest little whimper, she's going "More..." over and over. It might be the alcohol talking, but damn, that's kind of hot.

"More, huh? All right, I'll give you more." I fill my mouth with sake and share it with a kiss again, but this time she doesn't resist, unless trying to lap it all up out of my mouth and then continue to push her tongue and moan as she grinds up against my thigh is a form of resistance. I'm sorry, did I say kind of hot? My tongue slips like that sometimes. In fact, hey would you look at that it slipped again. And again. Man, such a slippery tongue today. Good thing Tenshi's there to catch it, or I'd be in all kinds of trouble.

Speaking of catching things, idea!

Breaking the kiss, I hold Tenshi's head in one hand – still close, but far enough that she can't do anything. "You still want more?" She nods vigorously. My clothes slide to the floor – or at least what you might call a floor. Do clouds count as floors? They're certainly the comfiest floors I've ever laid on. Her chain – my chain? Our chain? The chain, at any rate, is rubbing against my cunt, spreading it ever so slightly and giving me shocks as I pull Tenshi close.

The gourd starts pouring almost against my will, sweet sake flowing over my crotch and onto her face. "Then drink up." She doesn't need to be told twice – her tongue goes to work by itself, even as she laps up the fluids she still moans for more and it's amazing. I'm at the verge of coming just from listening to my own gasps of pleasure filling the air...Oh, she's good. She doesn't let up either, she just keeps going in deeper, stronger, faster, doubling in intensity every time she brings me to orgasm.

Because I'm crushing her head into me with my legs. Whoops. When I finally do let her go, she moves her head up lightning fast, like one of those drinking bird things they make (How do those work anyways?) and she starts coughing before going right back to begging. "More...hit me more..."

Ooohhh. Well, then. "Tenshi, Tenshi, Tenshi...I didn't know you were into that sort of thing. How naughty."

[ ] Hit her more.
[ ] Tease her more.
[ ] Fuck it, I got what I came for.

--

Done for tonight. Kept getting distracted and called away. Need sleep.
>> No. 23966
[X] Tease her more.

Awesome.
>> No. 23969
[X] Tease her more.
[X] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[X] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster.

Vote modification, because I am sick bastard.
>> No. 23970
[X] Tease her more.
[X] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[X] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster.

YEEEEEEEES. THIS IS DELICIOUS.
>> No. 23971
[x] Tease her more.
[x] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[x] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster.

YES.

YEEEEEEES.
>> No. 23972
[x] She needs more alcohol; a lot more.
[x] Tease her more.
[x] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[x] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster.

I am loving every second of this.
>> No. 23981
[X] Tease her more.
[X] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[X] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster. hang her upside down naked on some random tree, and leave her there.

The latter is just too much, guys.
>> No. 23982
[~] Spank her more.
[z] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[e] No time for pillow talk! Locate and ravage Iku. She's around here, right?

>You have no social or physical inhibitions,
Except for lying.

>>23969
>>23970
>>23971
>>23972
...
It's possible to be more of a retarded fuck than these two dipshits, but you'd have to be a frequent visitor to Gaia or have frontal lobe damage or something.

Having fun is one thing, being a despicable bitch is entirely another.
>> No. 23983
I think he's forgotten he's posting in a place with people used to YAF.
>> No. 23985
[x] Tease her more.
[x] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[x] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster.
Despicable? Perhaps, but also plenty fun!
>> No. 23989
File 124211616450.jpg - (54.45KB, 563x566, Copy of 121327553094.jpg) [iqdb]
23989
let's not turn this into another FUG or TAiG okay?

[x] Tease her more.
[x] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[x] No time for pillow talk! Locate and ravage Iku. She's around here, right?
>> No. 23994
>>23969
...Geh.

[X] Tease her more.
[X] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[X] No time for pillow talk! Locate and ravage Iku. She's around here, right?
>> No. 23996
[x] Tease her more.
[x] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[x] Once you're through with her, take her back to the human village and chain her up in a public male restroom. Make sure her legs are spread wide open, and leave a sign behind advertising her as a free public cum dumpster.
>> No. 23999
>>23982
Point. Thanks for the reminder.

>>23983
Also point. Thanks for the reminder.

[X] Tease her more.
[X] Hey, hey, how about some give and take! She got her fill, and you're still thirsty, so let's see how nice a cup she makes.
[X] No time for pillow talk! Locate and ravage Iku. She's around here, right?

is the winner. Seriously guys. Just...seriously.
>> No. 24001
Tch, in this thread, a surge of moralfags.
>> No. 24002
>>24001
Gonna be honest. Sex and the like doesn't really interest me that much, so it's harder to get myself writing, and it doesn't flow. Sadism, more so.

Which, by the way, is why this segment has taken so long, for its relative shortness. I just don't know where to take it. If you want faster updates, go for wacky fun rather than raping and pillaging.
>> No. 24003
File 124214044048.jpg - (790.98KB, 724x1024, d437b8e4d50f654296781dccc15113e8.jpg) [iqdb]
24003
Too bad I'm not. Still, her reactions are kind of cute, and I can't just leave her here...That'd be mean-spirited. This'll just be fun.
"You'll need to be punished." The more I spin my arm behind me, the brighter her expression gets. She looks like she's holding back a squeal, which is good, seeing as she's not a pig. She does let it out, though, just a second before my fist hits her face. Or would hit her face. Is it a second before if it never happens? There's a lot of air hitting her face from it, maybe that counts. It must have hit her really hard though, her eyes are closed and she's smiling. Wait for it...wait for it...

Her eyes peek open, likely wondering what just happened, which I take as an opportunity to send a knee in her gut. Or near it anyways. Another cute little squeal, I could get used to this. "Come on! Stop it!" Or maybe I couldn't. "Oh, fine. Party pooper. To the floor with you!" And down she goes! Maybe a little too hard, I could feel that thump in my feet. Though with the way she moaned, I guess she likes it that hard? "You got to taste me, but now you got me wondering..." Off with your chains! Off with your clothes! They'll only get in the way! "...Was it good for you too?" Within moments she's getting the same treatment I did, and hot damn I could get used to this. The taste of booze and flesh mix so well, and the gasping, twitching mess she's reduced to makes for a fine show to go with it. Methinks me and Tenshi are gonna get along just fine from here on out.

Speaking of here on out. On out here. Out on here. I've got places to be, people to do! I've already wasted like a hundred swigs over here! Of course, though, Tenshi just won't have it. Gripping onto my chain desperately just makes her look...
"More...please...just a little more..." Pathetic.
"Well, I guess you have earned it..." The smile she gets...I don't think I've ever seen someone smile like that. It's almost like she's druoh right. Well. May as well get her a little happier. For the second time tonight she finds a gourd in her throat, and she's getting slapped around the...well. Room? Field? Whatever you want to call it. It's a place. She's around. Kicking and punching and throwing and drinking all the while!

Of course every party has to end at some point. Already got beat up once for forgetting that. A good way to end it, though, if you ask me, is naked and passed out drunk on the floor, covered in booze! Speaking of naked. Getting dressed doesn't take long – maybe 5 swigs. Next on the list...Hey, that Iku girl lives around here too, right? May as well pay her a visit...if I can find her, anyways.

"God damn it Suika."
"Hey hey! Speak of the fish!" I turn around to meet her, only to find her cradling Tenshi in her arms. Guess there really is time for cuddling.
"You've got a lot of explaining to do."
"Well, you see..."

>

--
Aww man how are you gonna respond what are you gonna do to her here's your chance totally not a cop-out or lack of ideas on my end noooo sir
>> No. 24004
[X] "I just decided to do something like this."
[X] Lash out with your chain and try to capture her. If she avoids it, then brawl time!
[X] If she doesn't avoid it, give her the same treatment as Tenshi.
>> No. 24006
[X] "I just decided to do something like this."
[X] Lash out with your chain and try to capture her. If she avoids it, then brawl time!
[X] If she doesn't avoid it, give her the same treatment as Tenshi.
>> No. 24007
[x] Turn yourself into a mist-like form and go under Iku's clothes.
[x] Explore!
>> No. 24008
Anonymous 09/05/12(Tue)08:56 No. 24007

[x] Turn yourself into a mist-like form and go under Iku's clothes.
[x] Explore!
>> No. 24009
Mist form sounds like more fun, so I'm doing that unless someone can do better before I start writing which is gonna be in a while because a friend of mine is visiting from far away for the week and we shall be chillaxing for a time.

I'd like to remind everyone that the number of votes are much like the number of points in a game of whose line is it anyway and do not matter at all! What matters is giving me something I look at and say "I must write this."

Back later!
>> No. 24012
[x] Send some mini-Suikas to carry your gourd and yank her head back to get her drunk.
[x] As she's caught off guard, wrap her arms and legs up in chains.
[x] Oni-fisting... can she take a whole arm?
>> No. 24017
[x] Tell her the truth.
[x] Regardless of her reaction, send mini-Suikas to pin her down on the ground. Have one pour sake into her throat.
[x] Once she is drunk enough, turn yourself into mist and ask her what game she would like to play. Explore her clothes while she is confused.
[x] ?????
[x] PROFIT!
>> No. 24027
>>24017
Nice add! Giving me free play and everything.

Right then. Writing, though how long it'll take depends entirely on how much I get distracted today. Bother me or something if it takes too long, I'm a lazy faggot.
>> No. 24029
>>24027
It's taking too long ye lazy faggot.
>> No. 24030
>>24029

grumble mumble grumble I'm workin' I'm workin'
>> No. 24032
ffffff business business distractions distractions work work work obligations. Writing is delayed.

Self-sage for being a faggot who can't keep up with his own story after a single day god damn.
>> No. 24045
>>24032
Chill~
>> No. 24049
File 124231604376.png - (48.52KB, 509x509, d93b46db637152b25707793491f20e4e.png) [iqdb]
24049
"...I was bored." Kinda still am, now that the fun's over.
"You were bored. That has to be the most stupid excuse I've ever heard! Do you have any blah blah blah blah dragon blah blah blah lightning blah blah..." So tense. She needs a drink. Come to think of it, I kind of need a drink.
"What a...You're drinking. That's how you respond? Drinking?"
"No. That's how you respond."
"What do you meaAAAAH!" Good job, me! Keep her down so I can bring her up! "Clones? How did you gemmmgh!" Oh, Gourd. You've had so much action today, and you've never done me wrong one way or another. You're all right. I'ma do you right when we get back to the shrine, you just wait. For now though, you just keep workin' like you know how to work it.

And me, too! Good job, mes. I should reward me too.
"What do you plan on doing with me? The same as her? I won't go down that easy, you knnnnmngh!" Man, if I didn't know better I'd say she was just trying to get another gourd in the mouth. I already miss him. No time for tears, though. This is a happy occasion! A momentous moment!

"So what kind of game do you want to play today?" One more chance. You can play along or you can get a gourd in the mouth. A few swigs worth of coughing later, she looks pretty pissed – I still don't get that. Is that like some cultural thing, they frown instead of smile? That'd be really awkward if she ever decided to travel. She'd never get anyone to give her directions. "Are you gonna keep interruptmnghmh!" Why does this never get old? I could do this all day, but it's not a game at all.

"Cave explorer then! Yeah!" Daring to go where no oni has gone before, braving the darkness for the sake of science and knowledge! What untold horrors lie within the caverns of Nagallepinto, the horrid depths of which no explorer has returned from alive? The world must know! I must know! And so does the great Suika Ibuki seep forth in sound heart and mind, taking note of the almost flesh-like walls, pigmented with varieties of stone unseen in other parts of the world. The slight shocks that meet every motion of my body only serve to further prod on my great adventuring spirit even as the motions of the volatile earth make every step a new risk.

Oh no! Earthquake! The only refuge for our hero is to grab hold of the nearest mound desperately even as it shakes her about, taking what comfort in it she can as rumbling thunder sounds off the gods' anger at her presence. The true danger of the expedition only just now sinks in – the seemingly volatile caverns were in fact dormant throughout her visit thus far! How will she survive, reduced to gripping any stalagmite she can for dear life and supporting her body with all her strength?!

>

--
Return of the revenge of the faggotry!
I might actually be able to pump out five or six today but I'm not making promises. People won't stop throwing work at me.
>> No. 24050
[x] Go deeper. See if you can make it so that she's always in a constant state of arousal.
>> No. 24051
If you people can't come up with something better than that in the next hour I'm taking some serious creative license and by that I mean doing whatever the fuck I want. I actually have time to write today and all my voters disappear what the shit.
>> No. 24052
Man, I have no idea what to vote.

I dunno... how about

[x] Get her drunk and/or horny enough to go with you and prank the lazy woman with the boat.
>> No. 24054
[x] So she's not into that. Fortunately we know someone who is. Get her hot, bothered, and then wake up Tenshi to help. Iku won't see that coming.
>> No. 24055
[x] So she's not into that. Fortunately we know someone who is. Get her hot, bothered, and then wake up Tenshi to help. Iku won't see that coming.
>> No. 24056
[x] So she's not into that. Fortunately we know someone who is. Get her hot, bothered, and then wake up Tenshi to help. Iku won't see that coming.
Eh, kinda like this.
>> No. 24057
Oh boy more distractions. At least it worked out this time.

Brainstorming and letting things brew while I'm out taking care of yet more business that has reared its ugly head, but writings shall commence before the day is done.
>> No. 24058
File 124234488035.jpg - (156.93KB, 850x1202, sample-53a706da6a154e9c570e835cc5f061b5.jpg) [iqdb]
24058
She will press on! She will force every ounce of strength she has to push her forward, to delve deeper and deeper until...until...she runs out of dramatic commentary. Talk about your newfound respect for storytellers. Sheesh. In any case, this girl's buckin' like a bull which is really rather ironic considering I'm the one with the horns here. If anyone should be bucking, it's me! I should be kicking and spinning and doing flips and shit! Yeah! But...this is a pretty small cave. Awfully hard to move in here, and I can't even hear myself think through that crack...ling?

All right flying through the air that's cool too not really sure why I'm on fire but okay that happens sometimes I guess. Speaking of flying, this is kind of disorienting, spinning like this. And what's with that ringing in my ears? Oh hey mister ground, you're awfully friendly aren't you. I don't blame you for hurting me, you just wanted a hug! In fact you're so nice I'm just going to stay here, for a second. Cool off. Yeah. Man. That was a trip. Makes me want a drink, but with Iku looking at me like that it's hard to take it easy. It's like she's shooting lasers out of her eyes.

She is shooting lasers out of her eyes.

Well that's new.

"Iku~ What are you doing~" And Tenshi's awake. That's...you know, let's just watch this time.
"Getting rid of a pest."
"You didn't sound like she was pestering you~"
"Shut up Tenshi."
"But but but you were moaning and shaking and shooting lightning everywhere, it was almost like you w-" Whoa! Your neck is gonna snap like that if you're not careful. What's so interesting about Tenshi anyways?
"Shut up, Tenshi."
"I think I know..." The way she gets up is kind of funny. It's like if you knocked over a crab, and all her limbs are flailing everywhere even though she could get up just fine, and eventually she kind of rocks herself upright. O'course it's made sillier what with her being naked still, but I mean if that's your thing I guess. "...exactly what you need."
"Tenshi, she raped you! Are you really going to helmmmngh..." Whoa! Go Peaches, go! Sparks are really flying, here! Literally, how do you take that? It must be like licking a battery.

Actually. She was kissing the gourd for a while, right? Maybe there's still a charge in there. A one-of-a-kind drink for a one-of-a-kind night! And damn is it a good one. That little electric charge mixes so perfectly with the burn and the kick after it goes down, it sends my head spinnin'! I haven't had a drink this good in years! And by the time I'm done drinking it, one hell of a development has already played through right in front of my eyes! Maybe! It's a little hard to see straight right now.

Iku is apparently naked, and Tenshi apparently remembered she had her magic extendo-swordy thing. They are both apparently more drunk and more happy than they let on before, and they are both apparently very close friends and apparently very good at sharing!

Maaaaybe I should leave them to themselves.

>

--
More choices in likely inappropriate and/or obvious areas but I don't feel like writing any more for this segment and there's food downstairs and I'm sure people want their update and in this story does it even really matter? I don't think so, no.

Friendly reminder: H will happen if there's a consensus, but the more H I do the slower it's gonna come to me and, most likely, the less enthusiastic I'll be about making it good.
>> No. 24060
>>24058
Time for a party.

[x] Nab yourself a giant pot and a fishing net full of lobsters to make some Iku/Tenshi/seafood stew. Heck, you'll join them. Let's see who can last the longest buried in these snappy-critters.
>> No. 24061
[X] Aw, seeing friends getting along like this sure is inspiring! Brings a tear to your goddamn eyes. A drink! A drink to friendship.
[X] Speaking of friendships, what's your old friend Yukari up to? She's always good for a hoot, what with her crazy servants, and her voyeurism. She might even have some good ideas for killing time.
[X] ... and if she doesn't, well, there's always your traditional plan B. A plan that involves bending her borders and a certain part of the male anatomy...

Oh, Yukarin~
>> No. 24062
[X] Aw, seeing friends getting along like this sure is inspiring! Brings a tear to your goddamn eyes. A drink! A drink to friendship.
[X] Speaking of friendships, what's your old friend Yukari up to? She's always good for a hoot, what with her crazy servants, and her voyeurism. She might even have some good ideas for killing time.
[X] Damn, I should grab something as a souvenir for them! Hou about dem peaches I found lying around here for no reason?
>> No. 24063
[x] There's only one drinker, fighter, or rampaging magnificent bitch like you in Gensokyo. Find Yukari Yakumo and troll the bajesus out of her.
>> No. 24067
{X} Find a boat or ship and start sailing the Scarlet Lake.
{X} As a pirate.
{X} Find some landlubbers to terrorise.
>> No. 24068
[ze] There's only one drinker, fighter, or rampaging magnificent bitch like you in Gensokyo. Find Yukari Yakumo and troll the bajesus out of her.

Apparently the readerbase can't fucking read.
>Friendly reminder: H will happen if there's a consensus, but the more H I do the slower it's gonna come to me and, most likely, the less enthusiastic I'll be about making it good.
>> No. 24072
[X] Find a boat or ship and start sailing the Scarlet Lake.
[X] As a pirate.
[X] Find some landlubbers to terrorize.
>> No. 24074
File 124240549424.jpg - (55.71KB, 414x836, SUPERB.jpg) [iqdb]
24074
Oh, you guys. Just when I thought this would be an easy ride.

I've got other stuffs to do and other stuffs to write, but I'm gonna need all that time to decide on one of these options. I want to write them all or possibly mix them somehow I'll figure it out whatever LOOK FORWARD TO IT
>> No. 24078
[X] Find a boat or ship and start sailing the Scarlet Lake.
[X] As a pirate.
[X] Find some landlubbers to terrorize.
>> No. 24079
[X] Make a boat out of mini you's and start sailing the Scarlet Lake.
[X] As a pirate/pirates.
[X] Find some landlubbers to terrorize.
>> No. 24084
[X] Go visit Yukari and get her to gap in a boat. Get her to come with you as well.
[X] Get some apropriate pirate gear and wear it.
[X] Sail around the Scarlet Lake and find landlubbers to terrorize. If they run, have Yukari manipulate the border between land and sea, or sea and sky to continue your pursuit, as well as scaring the hell out of them.
[X] Anyone you catch will be Shanghaid onto your crew, and the price for this is to drink until they're smashed! Or else they walk the plank!
>> No. 24085
[x] Find Yukari, and see how long you can remain attached to her leg.
>> No. 24086
>>24084
You. Hey you. Give me back my brain. Sharing isn't working for either of us.

Shit got out of hand today. Writing what I came up with in the morning, which is pretty much this god damn.
>> No. 24091
All right, working on it now but I'm tired of giving empty promises and pretending I can write more than once every day. Every time I think I can write a lot shit keeps interrupting me so it'll come when it comes.
>> No. 24092
File 124249011118.jpg - (280.92KB, 1000x780, 1ba908429925322304523bff9c0689e9.jpg) [iqdb]
24092
...but this, this is...Beautiful. It makes me want to cry, it's so beautiful. These two, they seemed so grumpy when I came, but look at them now! It's so peaceful, so friendly. Two friends, sharing not only a sacred artifact but the honor of using it to pleasure themselves. This is how it ought to be, and it's all thanks to alcohol. That's it! A drink! The battery charge still remains, and the tears of joy only add to the flavor. Truly, this scene is perfect, pristine – and it's had enough of me. I should honor it, not sully it with my lonely ass! A friend! Yes! It's been a while since I played with that Yukari, we should do...something. Whatever, play it by ear.

Unimportant things happen, including but not limited to flying and walking and drinking but drinking isn't unimportant at all so I guess the other stuff is important too? In any case, it's uneventful. Getting lost is easy enough when you walk without looking at anything but the business end of an electro-gourd. I'm also starting to get a little bit of a buzz! Score! Unfortunately walking around without looking at anything but the business end of an elecro-gourd also puts you in a prime position to be all walking into walls and trees and sometimes through them when you're not careful and then you get all these youkai running around like AWW MAN YOU DESTROYED MY HOME and that's all well and good but they're just so weak! Seriously guys, just seriously. Who do you think I am? Where do you think we are? Actually where am I?

"You're here." Oh hey Yukari.
"Good enough for me! Yukari, we're hanging out today."
"No options, huh?"
"Nope. It's been decided already."
"Well, I guess if the readers want it..."
"...Readers?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing. So, Suika. Had anything in mind, aside from drinking?"
"Aside from drinking...Aside from...drinking..." You know, I can't say I did. "What's the matter with drinking?"
"It's the same every time! Just plain drinking is like just plain sex, it's boring! Make it kinky, play some roles! Let's be the last survivors in a zombie apocalypse, enjoying what may be their last bottle. Or, how about cave explorers, sipping away at what they know could be important fuel later on?"
"I already did cave explorer today though."
"I know, I've been reading. But okay, how about...spacemen! Celebrating the discovery of a new civilization with a huge, planetwide party! Or pirates on the great scarlet sea, drinking away their days because they can!"
Pirates...sea...boat ride? BOAT RIDE FUCK YEAH. "Pirates pirates let's be pirates come on!"
Pirates would be so awesome, man, I can already feel the sea breeze spraying me with mist, and the salty air stiffening my hair! The ground is already rocking up and down gently with the waves, creaking with every step and showing the age of the wood. This ship is a fine one what's been with us for years now, through ins and outs and adventures across the world, and here we stand on the great Scarlet Lake on the hunt for whatever poor saps would cross us!

Wait. What?

It didn't even take a swig to get here, but here we are, Yukari and me, actually on an actual boat being actual pirates. She even went and got the outfit and everything – simple, but effective: Striped purple and black short-sleeved shirt, buckle belt and high-water jeans. And that bandanna oh god when I wear it it just makes me feel like a real pirate! I wanna go sing a sea shanty or something!
"Yukari! Sea shanty! Do you know any?"
"I know a lot, but isn't that the sort of thing you should sing with the whole crew?"
"You're right! We're pirates with a two-man crew, that's pathetic! Let's...find someone else, I guess."
Gotta think. Who would make a good pirate...Or hell, who can we force to play with us? Drink. Need a drink. Drink helps think. As that sweet, sweet booze flows down my throat, the first thing that comes to mind...

>
--
Objectives: [X] Sail around the Scarlet Lake and find landlubbers to terrorize. If they run, have Yukari manipulate the border between land and sea, or sea and sky to continue your pursuit, as well as scaring the hell out of them.
[X] Anyone you catch will be Shanghaid onto your crew, and the price for this is to drink until they're smashed! Or else they walk the plank!
[X] Sing a sea shanty!

Yeah that's right story arc motherfuckers you're pirates now! I think. Sort of. I had to stop myself from writing this one, let's see where today brings us!
>> No. 24093
[x]KIDNAP THE LONELY ISLAND.
Do it. We're on a boat, motherfucker.
>> No. 24095
[X] Tortuga! Singing, drinking and debauchery! Not nessicarily in that order!
[X] We're not just any ol' pirates, we're not limited to sailing the sea. Defy logic and sail on land!
[X] That oridinary witch, what was her name... Oh yeah, Marisa! She can hold her booze and would make a good addition to yer crew!
[X] Kidnap anyone you find in the process.
>> No. 24096
Sorry, but kidnapping the Lonely Island is a little too out there.

A single vote! Decides the action! Writing...in a little bit.
>> No. 24097
[X] Tortuga! Singing, drinking and debauchery! Not nessicarily in that order!
[X] We're not just any ol' pirates, we're not limited to sailing the sea. Defy logic and sail on land!
[X] That oridinary witch, what was her name... Oh yeah, Marisa! She can hold her booze and would make a good addition to yer crew!
[X] Kidnap anyone you find in the process.
>> No. 24098
File 124250350813.jpg - (428.03KB, 900x900, 1242238850271.jpg) [iqdb]
24098
...is Tortuga! That grand base of pirates everywhere, where even sleeping through the night is both safe and dangerous! Where no matter where you step, you're among both comrades and enemies! The spirit of buccaneers fills me to the brim, even my gourd starts tasting more and more like rum! We're not pathetic, there is no pathetic, we're pirates and we're gonna make a name for ourselves even if it kills us! Singing, drinking, debauchery, we do it all and then we do it all again!

"Yukari!"
"Yussah!" Her previously lax stance goes upright right quick with a salute. She plays the part of a first mate perfectly!
"We're on a motherfucking boat! Nobody can stop us, not the navy, not the coast guard, not even the land! Fuck land!"
"Aye, sah! A fine boat it is!"
"And you're about to make it finer! We're flying this boat to the moon, somehow!"
"Aye, sah!" Wings! Wind! This boat is fucking awesome! This rum is fucking awesome! This first mate is fucking awesome! Standing on the head of a wood woman, wind flapping my hair out behind me like a cape or something, chuggin' down rum without a care in the world and flying through the air on a boat, I haven't felt this awesome in years and years! This's the life! "Where to cap'n?"
"To find crew! We're taking on the ordinary witch of the forest and anyone we find on the way!" I can't stop myself from grinning like a maniac as I pass her the gourd on my way to the wheel. "You're on lookout. Don't let a single survivor pass! We'll make 'em drink till they don't want to leave!"

You know, a lot of people don't see this side of Yukari. Or hear it, anyways. You know those gaps, man, they transfer sound waves too. Hearing her laugh when there's five or six open would be scary as hell if she wasn't such a good friend. In any case, she's laughing and she's gapping and before I know what to do with 'em there's already four people and a frog on board. "...You work fast."
"I do what I can."
"Can you help induct these fine young'uns into the crew? They need a uniform proper."

Plus one bird, fairy, insect, and...thing. Respectable, if easily confused, members, but most importantly, drinking partners! The ship'll get where it's going after a while anyways, right? Right. For now, we've just gotta stay frosty – literally, in Lacky One's case. "I told you to stop calling me that! I'm Cirno!"
"You'll earn your name when you drink!"
"Then gimme that!" Faster than I care to react to, she snatches the gourd from me and tips it straight up. Gulp by gulp, she manages to last a whole 10 swigs damn fine fo"Again!"
...Damn fine for a fairy, indeed. Upstage me, will you?!

[ ] Let it go. She'll have her fun, we've got crew to reeducate.
[ ] I'll show you who's cap'n around here!

--
Slow slow slow aaaaaaa losing my penchant for tangents too need to sleep less
>> No. 24101
[ ] I'll show you who's cap'n around here!
>> No. 24102
[x] I'll show you who's cap'n around here!

Just want to say how much I'm loving this so far. The narrative style is twenty-three kinds of awesome and it's chock full of silly fun.

Also, I loves me some 4th wall breaking Yukari.
>> No. 24103
I haven't laughed this hard in quite a while. I think I should stop thinking up those write-ins before I burst a lung.

[X] Do ye know who ye be challengin'?! I'm Captain Ibuki, leader of the Oni Pirates! When it comes to rum, only one other can keep up with me!
[X] But since yer so insistant, I suppose I could humor ye.
[X] You can't be outdone by a fairy. Finish this ones -advanced- reeducation and set an example.
>> No. 24104
>>24102
>The alcohol is twenty-three kinds of alcohol and it's alcohol full of alcohol alcohol.
Fixed.
>> No. 24105
[x] I'll show you who's cap'n around here!
We're not gonna get beaten by a fairy.
>> No. 24106
What-ho, suddenly votes! Unfortunately I have made a promise to myself to be reading the other quality stories today because since I started writing I got way not-caught-up on some of them, the authors of which I am friends with and thus feel bad about doing.

Fuck you, grammar.

That said this will be on hold for until I feel like it which is probably either tonight or tomorrow because I just can't quit you baby you're too much fun. Either way, feel free to continue with write-ins in the fun direction, I won't judge you or anything, that's your thing, and remember - there is no tide to piss against.
>> No. 24107
[X] Do ye know who ye be challengin'?! I'm Captain Ibuki, leader of the Oni Pirates! When it comes to rum, only one other can keep up with me!
[X] But since yer so insistent, I suppose I could humor ye.
[X] You can't be outdone by a fairy. Finish this one's -advanced- reeducation and set an example.
[X] You can't shanghai people onto a ship without Chinese people! Get Yukari to gap Shanghai and that China girl onto the ship too.
>> No. 24108
>>24107

Someone finally figured out why I capatalized the word Shanghai earlier huh?
>> No. 24110
>>24108
I thought of saying something, for a bit, but decided "Nahhh..."
>> No. 24111
Ya know for the record I don't actually recall ever hearing Shanghai used as a verb! I'd appreciate if someone could clear up its exact meaning before I go embarrassing myself and misinterpreting votes (like I haven't done that already) but of course this is all just a very roundabout way of saying that I am now writing! It may not be done for tonight, though, my eyes are doing that thing they do, you know the one, where you just know you're gonna pass out in your chair if you let it keep going but it feels kind of nice too so you don't actually go to bed.
>> No. 24112
If I recall correctly, the word/verb shanghai refers to the act of kidnapping someone to force them to serve on a ship, or to sell them off as slaves later. On a ship.

I think. But I'm pretty sure.
>> No. 24113
>>24112
So what we're already knee-deep in doing then. Awesome! I wonder what we're gonna do with all these slaworkecrew members when they're gathered.
>> No. 24114
Work them until we're bored playing pirates, then let Yukari have them.

But our crew is nowhere near complete...
>> No. 24115
File 124253026725.jpg - (278.88KB, 1055x1500, 1214859027701.jpg) [iqdb]
24115
"You're puttin' forth a mighty fine effort, but don't forget who you're up against! I'm the cap'n o' this ship, ye'll be answerin' to me, and right now I think it's time you hand it over." Quit bein' such a gourdhog. Seriously.
"Agghn!" But then again I kind of like your attitude! Bite off more than you can chew, drink till you can't see straight, make a name for yourself, fight battles just for the sake of fighting...You're all right. But you're also a gourdhog. A coughing, hacking, spewing gourdhog, who is covering the deck around her with frost, which is actually kind of cool since the crystals and everything make all these neat patterns and they kind of spin a little bit, but they're getting really distracting and that just won't do. We're on a mission! Or I am, anyways, but you will be too once you're part of the crew.
"Cirno! Gourd! Now!" It's all she can do to hand it over without dropping it, though even that's a step up from before. "Yukari! Gaps, mouths, go! I wanna set an example here!" oooOOOOooh that feels weird, but it's necessary! It's like there's a bubble in my mouth, but I can still breathe and everything – judging from the looks on their faces, our new crew members (Cirno aside, but she's learned her lesson...for now.) are all going through the same thing.

"Now you folks are gonna see that I can outdo you two ways from Tuesday without breaking a sweat. Any one of you tries to pull a trick like this again, you just think about what happened today, and you remember that I ain't nothin' to fuck with." Now, if this works the way it ought to...

Now, normally I'd be a little too concentrated on the pattern on me gourd right now, but seein' as I'm tryin' to teach a lesson to these kids, it's only natural that I'd be paying attention to their expressions as rum flows from a questionable source into their mouths without any warning. Nobody here can hold a drink! It's sad! All blushing and coughing and stumbling after only a few swigs. Pfft. Cirno's the only one worth her name in here. "Lackies one through five, look for more drinks in the ship. Cirno, you're promoted to...Something. Promoted to promoted person."
"Huryyy!"
Wait. Five?
"Hey. You two. New guys. Get over here." First up's tall greeny, followed by a clearly frightened midget.
"Hong Meiling, reporting for duty."
"Good to meet you, China. Have a drink."
"Chi-...fine. Whatever, China." Quick on the uptake! I like her already! Holds her drink pretty well too, seeing as she can take it down for 15 swigs without even taking in a breath – even then, she walks away without any signs of it. "If you don't mind, I'll get to that work." ...Gonna have to talk with her about being too serious on the job. Killjoy, that one, but such potential.
"Shorty, same deal." Poor thing looks terrified, she can't even get a word out. Can't blame her, though. Can't even pick up the gourd without both arms, and even then she tripped over herself – gonna have to find her a little cup, and a band-aid while we're here.

So. Where did these two come from?
"Took some initiative, Cap'n. Figured we can't do any shanghai-ing without chinamen."
"Chinamen?! You didn't tell me they were chinamen!"
"Sorry Cap'n. Didn't think you'd mind."
"Of course I mind! I almost called those two women! I don't wanna make a fool of myself!"
"Little late for that, 'Captain'."
"Which one o' you scurvy dogs said that? Why I oughtta paint your wardrobe blue! You'll never be able to color-coordinate again!"
"That'd be me. Up here, ya drunkard." Whahuoh. Speak of the witch! But uh...that was a while ago, I guess. Whatever. She's here, she's mocking me, and she's about ready for a beat down.
"I can see under yer dress, you know." Hoo boy she's quick. Blink of an eye an' she's on deck, holdin' that broom like a sword and as red in the face as Cirno here. Looks like we're on the same page here.

But how'm I gonna go about this...

>

--
hmmm little too much gourding I think it's time for a fight scene it's also time for sleep holy fuck I'm half-delirious. Sorry if this came out shit. There is likely more I wanted to say but I'll take care of that when I'm more coherent so yeah
>> No. 24116
>>24115
> "All right, ensign Chucklefuck (that's your name now), let me show you exactly how an oni ship is run."
And then you throw her overboard. And by overboard I mean into another country.
And then, shit! She still needs to work for you! Go catch her and throw her back!
Wait, shit! She can fly, better take her broom.
Wait, shit! Humans can't survive shit like this!
Goddamnit. Pirating is hard. Let's just blow up her house.
>> No. 24117
[X] "I've been look'n for ya ordinary witch!"
[X] "This be my ship, and I'm search'n for people to add to my pirate crew, and you just happen to be a prime candidate."
[X] "So, will you join this crew of pirates willingly? Or shall I use force, chains, and rum?" Say this in such a way, and give her such a look that it makes her nervous. You are Gensokyo's grandest pirate captain after all.

If deplomacy fails:

[X] Chains at the ready, try to catch the witch or her broom, we need her relatively unhurt.
[X] If that fails, try to manipulate the density of the broom, make it too heavy for her to lift. Doubles as a way to keep that monochrome seagull on the ground since she needs that stick to fly.
[X] And if she tries to spark, you have a gap youkai first mate for a reason...
>> No. 24118
[x] It seems the gourd treatment wasn't enough. Time for punishment.
[x] Have Yukari make gaps inside all of their panties. Send mini Suikas into each gap and watch chaos break out all over the ship.
[x] Steer yourselves into a tornado. Spinning, oragasms, and alcohol - this is the high life, my friend.
>> No. 24121
>>24118
no
>> No. 24123
[X] Do this in the proper pirate way - through theft and extortion!
[X] Create a couple of mini-Suika's and sneak them under Marisa's clothes, then steal her underwear.
[X] If she wants that underwear back, she'll be serving as crew until she earns it back!

Extortion, extortion!
>> No. 24126
Hey whoa amazing busy time out of fucking nowhere including but not limited to me being easily distracted I mean god damn am I a lazy faggot or what. New video games do that to me, and occasionally so do old video games and in fact so do old friends who occasionally bring new friends in any case.

Writing....later. Possibly much later. Writing will happen, I'll give you that much, but man oh man I keep getting myself new obligations and it's just getting a little too much for me to handle all at once I promise this isn't one of those half-thread wonders that'll go bumped once every couple weeks and the author keeps showing up here and there like nothing ever happened cough cough hint hint glare glare but whatever.

Sage for taking way too many words to say anything, let alone anything worth saying.
>> No. 24127
Keep this up and you wont get your brain back.
>> No. 24128
>>24127
Aww man but I need it to live, to love, to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive! I'll get you back, brain, if it's the last thing I do, I swear it on my mother's grave which she's not actually in yet but it's already there and it's a very nice one if I do say so myself, all hand-carved marble and what have you.

That said hey I should probably get around to writing while I still can huh? Pray that foul entertainment system doesn't win me over once more - I'm gonna be honest, folks, I've been playing Kirby much of the day, and the rock has only just started rolling. You lot are lucky writing this is so much fun for me.
>> No. 24129
>>24128
At least you're starting to use more commas. There's some progress.
>> No. 24130
>>24129
Progress let me tell you about progress I type like I speak and when I speak there's no time to breathe I can go 45 seconds of speech without taking a breath and god damn it I haven't met a single person who can match me in that one so you can take your commas and bake them in a pie for all I care because I've got better things to be doing than commaing.
>> No. 24131
>take your commas and bake them in a pie
>commaing
I don't even know where to start

>I haven't met a single person who can match me in that one
I've met far too many. They usually have a tendency to commit suicide or be murdered early in their life, instead of natural death. I wonder why that is.
>> No. 24132
File 124287364793.jpg - (175.12KB, 531x800, 223772ec4d9b9482af77e3bb4e0408dd.jpg) [iqdb]
24132
>>24131
It is a mystery, and let us drop it there as we're both being killjoys right about now.

--
...how else? Beat her without beating her. Like a pirate!
"What're you all red over? Started drinkin' without me?" Stare. Staaaare. Still red, still staring.
"You hard o' hearing or something? Or just admiring me?" Stare. Staaaare. Don't get caught. Come on, go for 100% style points.
"I mean, I know I can be pretty seductive sometimes, but I didn't think you swung that way..." Pose! Ass out, cleavage...well. Ass out. Roars of laughter through the crew, as small as it is. Mostly from Cirno actually, but it'll do – more noise, more distractions. Just a few more feet.
"Or do you mean to say...you want me as your first? It's an honor." Swift-like, me! We gotta work together, me and me! Style points, man, they need cooperation. You'll never win the game with one person, unless the judge is crossing his eyes. He wouldn't be a very good judge if he did that, though. Unless he was trying to judge an ant on his nose or something. Oh wait right yeah panties. Okay.

Slow, deliberate steps toward her, straight as I can manage. Stare, deep. At the first sign of motion, drop the broom and your body with it. Meanwhile, those underwear...I'll be taking them. Fighting, man...gotta keep your cool. Eyes on the prize and all that, but this is only just the start. The panties hanging on my right horn stun her for that extra second it takes me to take her in my arms and dip her, low..."Prepare to be boarded."
"...No." Pffft.
"You're no fun. We're supposed to be having pre-fight banter! You know, playing off each other's words? I steal your panties, you steal a treasure or something? For being as famous as you are, you're terribbbph" Well that was just rude. And strong. More strong than rude. When did she get that strong? Gonna have to do that broom up a little more thoroughly, next time. Also might wanna stop getting thrown places, that can't be good for my head. I heard that moon-lady talking about it once, with all those big words nobody really cares about. Just get to the point, you know? I'm not gonna remember any of this in the morning, and whether it's because of the booze or the...that thing. What was the word? Started with a C, I think.
"...concussion? Was that it?"
"It's what I'm about ready to give you if you don't hand those over in the next 10 seconds."
"Warming up to me already, eh? Just a minute ago if I wanted anything from you I had to take it."
"Five."
"So is this your only pair, or something? Or do you just particularly like..." I never actually got a close look at it before now, but these are kind of cute. Little ribbons and frills, and one little strawberry on both ends. I could see keepin' 'em.
"Zero."
"Thirty."
And drop like a broom-shaped rock. It's a good thing my crew is as attentive as they are, or she might have hurt herself! It's also a good thing they've got the foresight they do, or she might have gotten right back on that broom and hurt herself again. It's also a good thing they're as strong as they are, or it wouldn't have snapped and shredded like it did. It's also a good thing we're already on the other end of the lake, or she might have run back to her home to do who-knows-what! No, no. She needs to be here with us, in the company of friends. Just look at her crying through that stoic face, who could leave that alone? Who wouldn't try to comfort her? Really now. Monsters.

"Now I know what you're thinking. You're scared and you're confused and you're not sure what we're gonna do with you, but that's how everyone is when they first join. What you've gotta realize is that around here, we're a family, not just a ship, and god damn it Marisa if you can't keep up with your chores I'm gonna have to ground you and nobody wants to see that but you know I still love you like I do any of my daughters. Now are you ready to work for me and earn back the right to wear these," I flick the hanging panties for effect, "or do I have to bust out the deluxe punishment bag?" There is no punishment bag. Yet. She either knows this or doesn't care judging by the sudden serious expression. How convenient.
"...I'll be in the crow's nest." Climb, climb, climb. She seems to have forgotten that shame from before already, but I just wonder what she'll be like when she calms down...
"Enjoy yourself! Or else!"

All right. Plus one ordinary witch!

>

--
So hey I'm gonna try not to let that happen again, or at least not immediately. After all, the whole point of this was to get me back into a writing-regularly-mood for when I get those little short ideas. You remember those, right?
>> No. 24133
>>24132
I don't know what the fuck just happened here.

[x] Raid Cirno's frogs.
>> No. 24134
[X] Make a tic on your mental list. One ordinary witch get!
[X] Lesse, who else?
[X] Your ol' pal Yuugi hasn't seen the surface in a while, you need to change that. Bust your fellow pirate out of jail!
[X] That red-headed busty amazon shinigami has a boat. You want a boat monopoly dammit! And it might draw out her boss, such a stiff soul needs a drink!
[X] Sniff the panties as you think.
[X] ... Damn, you could get used to this smell...
[X] The school teacher maybe? She's supposed to be a blast on the full moon.
[X] Dangit, keep thinking while raiding!
>> No. 24135
>>24132
>or do I have to bust out the deluxe punishment bag?"
I see what you did there, but Marisa isn't an uncivilized child (well, not literally.).

>>24130
I giggled a lot.
>> No. 24307
File 124409663413.jpg - (55.01KB, 456x611, 93078e6ac94d694d2767642e399ff848.jpg) [iqdb]
24307
Update where?
>> No. 24326
;_;
>> No. 24607
Some of you might be wondering where I've been.
Some of you might want your panties back.
They're underneath the doormat. Bitch.

Writing minus panty-sniffing because I've never been a good bandit.
>> No. 24608
Yes, I have been wondering where you've been.
Now get updating, or I'm going to annoy you.
>> No. 24609
File 124535152322.jpg - (100.26KB, 800x720, sample-658708008cb7693dd5f74e347abbfe17.jpg) [iqdb]
24609
But that's not enough. Not yet. Any good pirate crew ought to be able to strike fear into the hearts of men, women, and children alike! The second we step into a bar, all the others should shuffle on out. But that's lonely. That's way too lonely! Feared by citizens, hated by the navy, all we have are each other and the bottom of a bottle. Even if it is a warm fuzzy feeling inside, in the end, if we can't fill even a single building there's just no point.

Which is why! We need! More! We share a deeper bond, a deeper fate, a deeper drink! We can't be separated by mere iron, or water, or earth, we can break through even the heavens to go on, arm in arm! Yuugi, we're coming back for you, we're gonna run, we're gonna crawl, we're gonna kick down every wall! Oh hey applause. Was that out loud? Well okay then.

"Beautiful, Cap'n! Absolutely beautiful!"
"I don't really get it, so can I just leammmmngh!" Oh no you don't. Shoulda seen it coming...they don't call 'em bird-brains for nothing, I guess. Back to re-education with you.
"Yeeah! I'll show 'em what's what, and it'll be like boom bow shazam and they'll be all whooa what's with that fairy, she's SO STRONG SHE'S PROBABLY THE STRONGEST!"
"And they'd be wrong. You wanna have another go, ki-"
"No." Damn right. That's what I thought.
"Right then! Everyone on deck!" I gotta remember to thank Yukari one of these days for those talking gaps. Really helps, you know? It's like she just always knows exactly when she could be helpful, somehow. Yeah...She's all right. Especially with that one time, with the gravy and the crowbar. Man, I dunno what I woulda done without her.

"Okay, so. For those of you who aren't aware, there's a bunch of people downstairs holdin' up a good old friend o' mine, and we're bustin' her out. Lackies one through three, you're on scout duty. Round up any would-be aggressors so we can beat 'em all up at once. Cirno and Yukari, you're by my side at all times. I want you on the front lines. Lacky five, lackies four and six aren't having nearly enough fun and I am way too sober right now. Remedy this." No sooner do I say it than I have a bottle from below deck. Tequila this time, and with no limes in sight! Blasphemy, but it'll have to do.

"So uh...That's all well and good, but...there's no one downstairs." Cheeky bird. Allow me to shut you up while I explain. Hey, see if you can make it to the worm! You like those things, right?
"Sure there is. See, there's downstairs, and there's down downstairs. You just gotta keep going, there's plenty of down, and this is gonna be doooown. Catch my drift? See where I'm comin' from? Feel me, here? Am I making myself clear?" Oh come on, don't try and pry my arm away like that. You're almost there! So, so close! Get that worm! Get it get it get it get it YES!
"Yeah...Yeah, I get you." That is what she said right? It's kind of hard to tell, what with the sputtFUCK I didn't get any! God damn it.
"Five! Another drink for me, and one for...What's your name again?"
"Myzja." ...Well, it's weird, but at least it's short.
"All right, Myzja. You've earned your name back. Now, Yukari!"
"Yassuh!"
"Can you or anyone else here make a whirlpool big enough to expose the ground? I'm not dicking around with this one. Punchin' straight through."
"Uhh...I dunno if that's gonna work. You do know how thick the crust of the earth is, right?"
"What, you think it's not gonna work? Have you got a better plan?"
"Well, I might..."

>

DOES SHE?
>> No. 24610
Oh yeah. Current objective list.

[X] Sail around the Scarlet Lake and find landlubbers to terrorize. If they run, have Yukari manipulate the border between land and sea, or sea and sky to continue your pursuit, as well as scaring the hell out of them.
[X] Anyone you catch will be Shanghaid onto your crew, and the price for this is to drink until they're smashed! Or else they walk the plank!
[X] Your ol' pal Yuugi hasn't seen the surface in a while, you need to change that. Bust your fellow pirate out of jail!
[X] That red-headed busty amazon shinigami has a boat. You want a boat monopoly dammit! And it might draw out her boss, such a stiff soul needs a drink!
[X] The school teacher maybe? She's supposed to be a blast on the full moon.
[X] Sing a sea shanty with a full crew!

Feel free to add on to that whenever. Just don't be surprised when I completely ignore several for long periods of time in favor of time travelsky sharks earlier objectives.
>> No. 24611
Aren't the pirates sailing through the air already? How'd they get back to water?

...
You know what? I got nothing right now. I'm gonna come back and make some looney idea later when I'm half-asleep.
>> No. 24613
[X] Two words: submersible boat. Or to make it easier: subterranean submarines. Or is that harder? You know what I mean!
[X] Orrrr we can take the boring way in by going through that gigantic hole in the ground near the shrine, like in Subterranean Animism.
>> No. 24614
>>24611
They can sail where they want. They're pirates. They don't give a shit. They're hard like that. Besides, Suika doesn't sweat the details - neither should you.
>> No. 24615
Fine then:

[X] Affix a giant drill powered by hot bloodedness and magic to the front of the ship. Shinki knows you got enough of both to pierce even the heavens.
[X] Fly through the most convenient entrance you can find. In short: Make one. Land didn't stop you before, it sure as hell wont stop you now.
[X] DYNAMIC ENTRY.
>> No. 24616
>>24609
[X]No she doesn't, go ahead and punch a hole into the ground.
>> No. 24618
By your votes combined, I am writing! I also hate to pull this one again, but it may take a little while. Tonight and tomorrow are both gonna be busy days, but damn it I'll try.
>> No. 24622
File 124544595330.png - (48.66KB, 756x525, Suikap'n.png) [iqdb]
24622
"...be able to conjure something up." That's my girl! Always on point.
"Well, surprise me!" Wait wait no I didn't mean that rehokay metal, lots of metal and pipes and buttons and levers and falling and this is more complicated. Are we still pirates? We're still on the water. In the water. We're still in the water, I'm still wearing pirate clothes. I guess it takes all kinds.
"Surprised?"
"Remind me not to ask you to surprise me again." I like surprises as much as the next guy, but when Yukari Yakumo surprises you...
"Don't ask me to surprise you again."
"Captain! Trouble!" Trouble! Just what I was waiting for!
"Where? Is there a fight? A leak? An invasion? Are we out of cold medicine?"
"None of that, no. Nobody knows how to work this thing." Well shit. She has a point. Maybe Yukari can do it by herself, but...
"Don't look at me. I just made the thing."
"Well, whatever. Pick a lever, pull it and pray. It's gotten me where I am, right?"

So. We've got people working on working something that'll hopefully end up working – or at least, we'd damn well better. All that's left to do is find the front and start acting captainy. Stomp on some things, yell, you know. The works! So it's a good thing there's signs and stuff, pointing out places I don't need to be right now. The front's the most important place, so everyone ought to know where it is already, right? That's why you follow the lack of signs. You've gotta see the ins and the outs, the positives and the negatives. That's the kind of thinking that makes me captain! And holy balls what a front it is. I don't even remember putting fairies on my crew, but Cirno's taking care of them pretty well, so that can be her job. Administrator of...fairy stuff. I dunno. Everybody else seems to be lollygaggin' about the windows and staring at the new monument to our being totally awesome pirates, which is not what needs to be happening right now.

"Oi, ya bunch o' bilge rats! Get to yer places, else I put you in 'em! We haven't got the time to be anything less than awesome right now, and that drill could be on!"
"We've tried everything, Cap'n, it looks like it doesn't work."
"Doesn't work? Doesn't work?! Two, it's looking to me like you're the one that doesn't work! Everyone who isn't a quittin' pansy in here, keep trying! We'll make the world move for us!" Ha! What'd I say? Look at that thing go. Someone must have done it right. Just gotta look for the direction of the crowd's cheers...Me? So yelling at it works...It's a ship that runs by yelling at it?

"Yukari!"
"Yassuh!" Good old reliable Yukari. She's nowhere and everywhere, all at once. Craziest old hag I ever met, but you can always count on her. Except when you can't. Even then though you can count on her complete inability to count on her!
"Does this ship run on me yelling at it?"
"Only if you mean it!"
"Yukari, I think I love you!" And I'd keep going if we didn't just hit ground. So would the ship, actually.

Except it can.

"Come on, men! We're bringing this party straight to Hell, and then we're breaking out of it and taking prisoners while we're at it! If there's something that can stop it, let's break it apart, burn it, and dance on the ashes!" Fuck yeah! We're invincible! So why isn't the drill working. Drill, drill, drill, and all I hear is scratching. Boooored. Drilling is boring. Maybe it just...needs some help?

[ ] Not enough drill power? Not enough will power! Rally the men, let's fuck this floor up!
[ ] Punch it the fuck through! We'll figure out how to get back when it comes up.
[ ] There's more than one way to skin a cat. Let's... >

Holy wow I even drew it and everything. Go thank Giddy in /forest/ and that /border/ drawritefag for the idea.
>> No. 24623
[x] Punch it the fuck through! We'll figure out how to get back when it comes up.
>> No. 24624
[X] Not enough drill power? Not enough willpower! Rally the men and fuck this floor up!

Stupid earth, defying the pirates.
IT. WILL. PAY.

With its dirt. And stuff.
Yeah.
>> No. 24625
I should note that in such times that I offer choices, the "most fun" rule does not apply unless someone comes up with one fucking serious write-in, since that would kind of defeat the purpose of offering choices at all.

If I can get a vote or two to break the tie, then I may or may not be able to write another one tonight.
>> No. 24626
[x] Punch it the fuck through! We'll figure out how to get back when it comes up.
>> No. 24628
Writing [x] Punch it the fuck through! We'll figure out how to get back when it comes up.

If you can come up with an awesome write-in before I finish, though, go ahead and post it. Lord knows I've ragequit enough posts, trashing one more isn't gonna hurt.
>> No. 24633
File 124548979994.jpg - (489.18KB, 595x841, 4630516.jpg) [iqdb]
24633
Yeah. I'm not ignoring Yukari's idea. It just needs some help. If it breaks, then, well...it breaks. It's not my fault her drill wasn't strong enough. Besides, we can't keep Yuugi waiting! She's down there being forced to move enormous rocks for ambiguous reasons, fighting other inmates every day for any or no reason, being forced to have sex with strange men, women, spirits, and other unidentifiable creatures...Why the hell aren't I down there?! That's it. Project punch is go.

Even through the noise, every step I take toward the front seems to echo, like the air itself has to respect how awesome this is. Before anyone has time to stop me, I'm already running. Already flying. Already throwing my second punch, windows cracking all around me, sending the drill further into the ground. I don't think I've ever punched something this hard in my life. It feels like my bones are vibrating, which in and of itself actually isn't such a bad feeling. There's just never enough to punch, I guess. Maybe Hell will prove me wrong.

Boom crack sweat smash thud! Not necessarily in that order! Hot as hell in here, but I suppose that's where the phrase comes from. Unless there's another, older hell that just isn't really that popular any more. I'd like to visit there, I think. Oh! Right! Hell! We're here, and apparently standing on a giant drill which has most likely crushed some poor sap, and apparently quite the center of attention.

Center of attention. Which means people. Which means...

Whoa there, buddy! Not sure how you made it up here, but don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself? Don't you know who I am? I mean I know it's hard to tell when you're getting pounded in the face but you're messing with the captain. Come on, now. At least these guys had the good sense to bring friends for my crew. How else are they supposed to have any fun? So inconsiderate. You deserved everything you got. And you! You call that a club? Well...Well okay, yeah, it's a pretty sick club. It's too shiny and perfect though, looks like you've never even used it.

"Wasn't the one time enough? We can't even have a party without you trying to break it up?" ...Do I know you? Wait. More importantly...
"Party? And you didn't invite me?! You know not who you have scorned this day, cur! Yukari, you're in command till I'm done here. Go occupy yourselves."
"Got it. It's pillaging time, girls!" Spoken like a true pirate. Brings a tear to my eye.
"Oh hell no. You break into my home, you insult me, blah blah blah stupid blah blah show you blah blah power!"
"Talk talk talk blah blah blah. Are we gonna fight or what?" Laughter! Lovely. Finally, someone who appreciates a good fight. That's just the kind of attitude I wanted, you know? You can't really appreciate someone till you've fought them. Skinship and all that.
"...Fine. Whether you're stupid or brave, I'll let you go if you survive." Ah! Light! Heat! More heat? It's seriously not hot enough for you in here? Or wait, maybe it's because it's so hot that you make heat? Or maybe it's because you make heat that it's so hot. So if I beat you, will the phrase become cold as hell? Moderately warm as hell? Comfortable as hell? Only one way to find out. Bum-rush spin-tackle Suikaball special, nobody sees it coming! Except her. Still, dodging instead of attacking was a mistake, because now I can proceed to punch your empty air.

Okay, so maybe dodging works for you. To each their own.

Still, it's uh...gettin' pretty stuffy in here. Hard to see with all those glowy balls, too. And why is she so fast? I'm gonna have to take this one a little more seriously...

>input battle strategy

Keep it simple, folks. Remember, no meta-knowledge.
>> No. 24635
[x] Punch faster than she dodges.
>> No. 24636
[x] Smash the hell out of everyone in sight!
[x] You can't stop here, this is Oni-country! And you've got a Yuugi to save!
[x] SUIKA-POWWAAAAH!!
>> No. 24638
File 124553628941.jpg - (135.38KB, 501x717, be1b69324d2deb91acd5518202c2de18.jpg) [iqdb]
24638
Boring, boring, you humans are all boring! Kill yourselves, kill yourselves, kill your boring selves!!!

I'll give you until tonight. You have density control and everything that goes with it, you can do better than "Punch better"!
>> No. 24639
[X] Create two black holes to your side, so it'll look something like this:
----------------- Suika -----------
[Black hole]---------------------[black hole]
---------------Enemy!-------------
That way the blasts will gravitate toward them instead of Suika. With any luck, the enemy'll start being pulled into the hole as well.
[X] Take swigs when you can. Gotta keep fueled!
[X] Belch out flames of your own! If she can do it, then so can you! (Nevermind that she's doing something different)
[X] Two words: gourd grappling hook. Swing the gourd around you like a chain, then launch it at the enemy. With luck it'll wrap around the enemy's limbs, and then you can pull her in toward you, or swing her to slam her against one of the various walls around here. It can't be a good fight without collateral damage, after all! Oh wait, that was more than two. Who cares, this is a fight!
[X] If you can't land a hit on her, suddenly, mini-Suikas, thousands of them! Spread out and swarm her!

Anyone else have ideas to add?
>> No. 24640
[x] Create mayhem. Throw some black holes wherever you please, scatter lots of mini-Suikas to run around and cause havoc, rip bits up off the floor and hurl them about the place. Most of all, don't think about it too hard, take a loooooooong swig from your gourd, relax, and what comes naturally. You're used to this, be an Oni and party hard.
>> No. 24641
[X] Create two black holes to your side, so it'll look something like this:
----------------- Suika -----------
[Black hole]---------------------[black hole]
---------------Enemy!-------------
That way the blasts will gravitate toward them instead of Suika. With any luck, the enemy'll start being pulled into the hole as well.
[X] Take swigs when you can. Gotta keep fueled!
[X] Belch out flames of your own! If she can do it, then so can you! (Nevermind that she's doing something different)
[X] Two words: gourd grappling hook. Swing the gourd around you like a chain, then launch it at the enemy. With luck it'll wrap around the enemy's limbs, and then you can pull her in toward you, or swing her to slam her against one of the various walls around here. It can't be a good fight without collateral damage, after all! Oh wait, that was more than two. Who cares, this is a fight!
[X] If you can't land a hit on her, suddenly, mini-Suikas, thousands of them! Spread out and swarm her!
>> No. 24642
Now that's more like it. Writing nowish, but feel free to keep throwing down ideas if you have them - knowing the way I get interrupted, there's no telling how long it'll take. Not like that's a big surprise though!
>> No. 24647
Hey whoa so I've got a deadline to keep on something else. Priority on ONI is now lowered until such time as I finish this other thing. Shouldn't be more than a day or two, and if I get tired or burnt out on it I'm coming back to this.

If you think I'm being a lazy faggot, good for you. It's either do it now or do it when I have no time, burn out, and produce shitty results on everything I'm involved with.
>> No. 24686
File 124597221438.png - (57.72KB, 756x525, UtsuhOWNED.png) [iqdb]
24686
Ha! Ha! Ha! I can't predict time for shit. Got roped into this summer school thing. Less time to work until Tuesday. Most likely going to end up increasing work ethic against all expectations. Also, would you believe I couldn't find a single picture of Okuu and Suika fighting? Crazy.

---

Well hold on, hold on. I've been going about this all wrong! Anybody can dodge a punch, but I've got so much more! I've got suck-holes and split-mes, I've got bind-strings and heat-spit and I've got a whole prison-city-cave to use with 'em. What's a little property damage in the name of friendship, right? Right. So I mean, it's totally okay if a few floorboards get ripped up. Or if some chunks of concrete just happen to separate themselves from their respective walls. Or if said chunks just happen to land hundreds of feet away in a small crater. Or if a very surprised crow happens to ram herself into a few things while dodging them, unsure of her own steps thanks to my suck-holes.

Such as a gourd! If I can ever remember where I got this thing, I should visit whoever made it and shake their hand. I mean...Infinite production. Of any drink I feel like. Conductive properties, artistic innovation, easy to hitch to a waist for convenience but still not only long enough of a chain to use as a mace but it's actually stable enough to last me as long as it has! This thing, man, it was made for me. Hell, maybe even by me. Been so long I can't remember not having it.

...What the hell was that? Gettin' all sentimental in the middle of a fight like this. Rookie mistake, rookie mistake. Anyways. So there's a gourd and it's big and it's hard and it's mine and I love it, and right about now it's finding itself nice and comfy around a certain someone, who is finding herself nice and comfy in a nearby wall putting out fires. Note to self: Burning hair smells funny. Lay off the sauce next time. Note to self: Glowy balls hurt like a motherfucker. No more victory moonwalks. Seriously, what are those things? They don't really burn, not like fire does anyways, but it's like if an entire spellcard hit you at once. Can't be danmaku, too big for that. Gonna have to experiment later.

"So you can hit me, twice. Blah blah blah whole city blah distraction blah blah blah go easy, but it looks like I'll have to show you your place!"
"Going easy on me? Going EASY on me?! Who the FUCK do you think I am, a kindergartener?! Give me your all, or give me nothing!" And stop laughing already, fuck. I'm serious.
"All right. You want to see my best? Let me show you my best." Damn straight. Wait, no, correction: Damn curved. Very curved. Very not standing on the ground, okay, we can take this to the air, no need to push. Pull. No need to pull. Wait, did she just steal my trick? Oh hell no. I'd punt you right in the cunt if you weren't surrounded by glowy-ball.

Two can play at this game. Oh wait! No they can't! Because the original is SUPERIOR! Because your glowy balls just collapse in on themselves when they get near a suck-hole, for some reason! Go on. Look scared. Apologize. Try and tell me you can't stop it once it's started, fucking try! Bullets? What the fuck are those?! What's this about grievous body wounds? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of that baby someone must have brought in the room! You'll have to file any chain-, blunt trauma-, excessive gravity-, or heckling-related complaints in written format. You'll find I'm very open to the suggestions of crew members.

"What's your name?"
"…" Oh, come on. Do I need to make airplane noises again? Really?
"Neither of us is gonna get what we want if you don't start talking."
"…" Double the glare, double the strikes. Do it again and see what happens.
"What, do you want me to fix your city? Is that it? Or do you want some kind of revenge? You've gotta help me out, here."
"Both." Well, it's a start.
"Tell you what. Let's go one for one. I can fix up this city – for the most part, anyways – here and now. You can join my crew and actively serve, which I can guarantee you isn't a bad deal, and we can work out some kind of a contract for dueling me that won't expire until you win." Right. Pirating isn't just about drinking! It's about brotherhood, it's about talkin' all funny, it's about fighting until you can't tell left from right and then doing all the rest of it over again! And most of all, it's about fun.

So you're just hellbent on not talking today. Great. At least I've got you on your feet for a change. "Where do you want me, captain?" FUCK YEAH!
"First off. Name, please."
"Utsuho Reiuji. Call me Okuu."
"Okuu, even if I did manage to beat you, you gave me a hell of a fight and I can respect you for that. To friendship!" Oh wait. Still chained up. Okay, so! Free hands, this time. Let's try that again. To friendship!

...Wait, that's it? Guess you're not really feelin' it. Whatever, you'll warm up to me in good time. Or else. Promise! Okay, so. Uh. What was I doing again?

[ ] We came here to look for Yuugi. Concentrate, make a system.
[ ] Gotta look for Yuugi! Gotta make good on that whole running and crawling and wall-kicking thing!
[ ] Well, we've got a local on the crew. Let's take a tour!
>> No. 24687
[X]Gotta find Yuugi! Gotta make good on that whole running and crawling and wall-kicking thing!

I needed that.
But now I can't help but imagine Suika in a Zero Suit...
>> No. 24701
>>24687
Funny. I find myself completely able to keep from imagining that.
>> No. 24702
[X] Well, we've got a local on the crew. Let's take a tour!
[X] Be sure to check out any and every place where alcohol, or sex, or onis can be found. Gotta also sample the local cuisine, too!
>> No. 24703
>>24701

Yeah well, that just goes to show you how messed up my imagination can be.
Kinda like imagining Kanako in a Sneaking Suit.
>> No. 24705
[X] Well, we've got a local on the crew. Let's take a tour!
[X] Be sure to check out any and every place where alcohol, or sex, or Onis can be found. Gotta also sample the local cuisine, too!
>> No. 24714
Way to pick the option that involves no fighting or chaos. Writing...I don't know. In a while. Still crazy busy.
>> No. 24770
[x] Gotta look for Yuugi! Gotta make good on that whole running and crawling and wall-kicking thing!

We'll drag her out of the bathroom if we have to!
>> No. 25023
So I drop back in and take a look at the votes, figuring it's been long enough that any extra votes ought to count as well what with my not having written a single word since then, which I really do have to work on and I mean I'm trying to motivate myself and all but things happen and occasionally things don't happen at all which can be even more of a bitch, if you catch my meaning, and here we have a tie. That just won't do! I can't just decide myself what wins, not on a choice vote, that's not how this works or at least that's not how I said it works and damn it I'm a man of my word. So what I'm trying to say I guess is that someone ought to break this tie, here, because my obsessiveness won't let me ignore that vote. Let's go, then.
>> No. 25024
[X] Gotta look for Yuugi! Gotta make good on that whole running and crawling and wall-kicking thing!
>> No. 25034
[X] Gotta look for Yuugi! Gotta make good on that whole running and crawling and wall-kicking thing!
>> No. 25037
It's amazing how often I have to re-read my own story. I should probably take notes or something for these sorts of details.

Or maybe Suika just doesn't sweat the small stuff. I dunno. Either way, writing now for real honest.
>> No. 25065
File 124757923476.png - (23.08KB, 756x525, suikasmash.png) [iqdb]
25065
So once again, just as I get back into writing work is piled on me. Things happen, things don't happen. Getting tired of it, so let's try something a bit different: Updates are gonna look more like this, and I'm going to write every single chance I get today. Checking the topic every 15 minutes.

Let's see how this goes.
---
Looking for Yuugi. That's what we came down here and that's what we're gonna do and I'll be damned if anything's gonna get in my way. Unless it's already in my way. Technically I'm getting in their way, even if their way is not moving, but technicalities never really suited me. I mean, why think so hard? Take a drink, relax, get smashed. Maybe with alcohol, maybe with a fist, maybe with a gourd, maybe with a giant icicle or wait when did you guys get here? "Hey. Don't get me wrong, but aren't you guys supposed to be looting or pillaging or something right now?"
"Sounded like you were moving on to the 'wanton destruction for laughs' phase."
"For laughs? For laughs?! Yukari, you know I have better taste than to turn to wanton destruction for laughs. This wanton destruction is directed at finding Yuugi so we can have some laughs that may or may not involve wanton destruction. It's all smoke and mirrors in the pirate game, babe, you gotta keep your eyes open. One ear to the wall and one to the floor, you get me?"
"I'll take your word for it. I think we're missing a party though." Well. We seem to be at a bit of a conundrum. Passing up on a party is unforgivable, but I really should be looking for Yuugi. Party or Yuugi...Party or Yuugi...or...
"...Question."
"Yes."
"Yuugi is an oni, right?"
"Yes."
"And there's a party going on."
"Yes."
"And it's obviously in a place I haven't checked yet."
"Yes."
"Gap m-" mmmoootherfucker. I told her not to surprise me again, though I must applaud her blinding efficiency. I suppose she also put me on top of the band's drummer on purpose too.

Well, I've got people looking at me, in any case.

>
>> No. 25074
Grab drumsticks.
Perform solo.
>> No. 25077
I suppose I should have expected this, but whatever~ Writing with one vote because I said I would if I had to.
>> No. 25079
File 124761114349.jpg - (134.44KB, 443x600, onirampage.jpg) [iqdb]
25079
May as well make a good impression.

Now let me tell you, I love the drums. I never learned a thing about drums, and I can just play how I feel, and it works. That's beautiful. So beautiful, when I'm sat down at a drum set like this, I don't even care if the guy I'm sitting on seems a little frustrated or a little grabby, I'm gonna play me some drums. It's good clean fun, hittin' stuff and makin' music in the process! All those stringy things, they take too much effort. Nothing sounds good till you learn how. Drums, though, you know, it's just a matter of keeping a rhythm while you hit stuff. It's a matter of pouring love into every fist! That comes naturally! Or at least, that's what I think. The crowd isn't too cool with a 20-minute jazz fusion odyssey performed entirely with cymbals. Pah! Philistines!

Philistines with good taste! Dog piles are fun too, digging your way through a human haystack but there's not really much in the ways of humans here so I suppose it'd be more of a demon haystack or a generally not-very-cool-dude haystack judging from how many are hitting me or an oni haystack, if this girl is any ind"Yuugi! Fancy seeing you down here!"
"Suika! What the hell brings you down here, and why aren't we havin' a drink right now?" Ooh, I love this girl. First thing out of her mouth makes me wonder why we ever split ways.
"Good question. Bottoms up!" There's enough room if I make enough room, I figure. All we're movin' is a gourd and an arm, right? Well, two arms. And a dish cup thing?
"Hate to be drinking without you." Love this girl.
And down the hatch. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her keeping up with every swig – she's the only person I ever did meet who could match me drinkin', one o' the most valuable friends I ever met and the next member o' me crew at this rate. I don't even know how long it is before we both set down our drinks and get to conversatin'.

"So. Now that's out of the way, what brings you?"
"You did, y'old scoundrel! I've been breakin' stuff all morning just to get to ye."
"Is 'at so? I suppose you'd be expecting me to join you on some kind of crazy adventures, too, then." She knows me too well.
"Ye know me too well. Come on, join me pirate crew, matey! It'll be all kinds of fun."
"Not as fun as being in a constant state of partying down here." Always playing hard-to-get. Fine, be that way.
"You're just afraid you wouldn't be as good a pirate! We're pirating the shit out of you!"
"Really now! I'd say I could pirate circles around you!"
Oh no she did not just say that.

>Reaction?

Quick, round up your diplomacy points! Does she join? Does she start her own rival pirate boat? Does she ignore you forever, but end up giving you the secret Yuugi And Suika Moe-Moe Dress-Up Game which may or may not exist?!
>> No. 25080
>Make boat giant.
>Put party on giant boat.
>Have giant pirate party on boat.
>> No. 25083
Bring the party to the boat
>> No. 25092
[X] Bring the party to the boat. Have Yukari make the boat bigger to accommodate everyone, if necessary.
>> No. 25093
Unexpected, but it works. Writing will occur tomorrow, after signing up for college (gasp) and a pirate party. Probably.

Feel free to keep voting until then, of course.
>> No. 25107
File 124775590316.png - (37.97KB, 756x525, piratecopter.png) [iqdb]
25107
No, she's fuckin' with me. Tryin' to rile me up. Gotta take her off guard, make her join before she knows she's joined. But how? How?
"You'd say you could pirate circles around me, but any good pirate knows you can't go in circles. It's all about jagged lines, excitabil-" Rum! What a pleasant surprise!
"Shaddup, already. You get started like that and you never stop." Yeah. Knows me way too well.
"Oh, come on. If you'd just try it once or twice, I'm sure you'd have fun with it."
"I just don't see the point. S'just a waste of breath you could be using on something else, right? Dancing or fighting or drinking or something."
"No, no, no, you've gotta try new things! Always experiment, always be creative! Old things in new ways, sing a new song, fight in a new sty-" Rum! What a pleasant surprise!
"Whatever you say, love. Mean time though, I could still out-pirate you any day."
"Prove it! Let's bust out o' this hell-hole and ye can take me title on me own ship! Yarr!" Rum! What a pleas-hey no fair head start!

Funny thing about getting out of a dogpile, you have to move everyone on top of you at once. If you just edge your way out, you'll get pulled back in before you manage to go anywhere, see? So you just move the pile, but nobody noticed that there was an oni in there so you get this scream gasp thing out of everybody. It always feels really orchestrated, which makes me kind of wonder whether they actually did orchestrate it. Is there a dogpiling community somewhere that I'm not a part of, planning all sorts of dogpiling activities? A set of dog pile rules of etiquette or something? I should ask around at some point, but most o' these folks seem a little too occupied with trying to get me back on the bottom and shit Yuugi's already at the door! Cave! Tunnel, thing, whatever I've gotta catch up! And what better way than to have her catch down. Throw a chain! Have it miss! Pull it back! Spin around! Flyin' through the air! Chuck the chain at her! Pull her back! Now we're on the floor! On the wooden floor! And it's creakin'! God damn it, Yukari.

"God damn it, Yukari."
"I thought you wanted to bring her back to the boat."
"I did, but there was supposed to be a dramatic exit scene. I think you're missing the point of this pirate game."
"Drinking, partying, sailing around on a boat and generally having fun?"
"I think I'm missing the point of this pirate game."

Lookin' around though, this boat got a lot bigger since we started. More crowded too. Almost like a...party?

>Action
>Character

I've never been much of a partyin' kind of guy to be honest, so you can make it yourself. Choose the biggest, flashiest, landslide-inducingest action you can think of! Or don't. I don't know.

Current Crew Members:

Yukari - First Mate
Cirno - Administrator of Fairy Stuff
Yuugi - Awesome old friend
Okuu - Rival to the death
Myzja
China
Marisa
Lacky 1 (Wriggle)
Lacky 2 (Rumia)
Lacky 3 (Shanghai)

A bunch of fairies
Some people that got spirited away from Hell

Objectives:
[X] Sail around the Scarlet Lake and find landlubbers to terrorize. If they run, have Yukari manipulate the border between land and sea, or sea and sky to continue your pursuit, as well as scaring the hell out of them.
[X] Anyone you catch will be Shanghaid onto your crew, and the price for this is to drink until they're smashed! Or else they walk the plank!
[X] Sing a sea shanty!
[X] That red-headed busty amazon shinigami has a boat. You want a boat monopoly dammit! And it might draw out her boss, such a stiff soul needs a drink!
[X] The school teacher maybe? She's supposed to be a blast on the full moon.
>> No. 25108
MISSION: Get the yama plastered.
>> No. 25109
[X]That's one off the list!
[X]Next... How bout that boat Monopoly? A giant board game with boat pieces, and the objective is for you to own them all! Therefore, that busty amazon shinigami and her boat must be captured since you don't want to buy her out!
[X]Oh, and her boss. Nothing like destabilizing the cycle of reincarnation to get heart-stopping fun.
>> No. 25110
All business, huh?

Writing whenever, feel free to keep voting. You guys know me well enough by now that saying "now" would just be a formality.
>> No. 25112
Pff, about as 'all buisness' as a drunk-off-her-ass Oni can get.
In this case it's 'all pirateness'.
>> No. 25140
brb umineko
>> No. 25158
>>25140
In other words, "Back in 07 minutes"?
>> No. 25168
>>25158
Ha ha ha.
>> No. 25285
Hey. Anon.

I'm gonna be honest with you. Writing this story, while it has been lots of fun at points, has also been...kind of a bitch. Since the very beginning, I've been writing for a couple days at a time then littering the thread with "In a little" and "Whenever" and "Short hiatus" and all that bullshit, pussyfooting around the task of actually fucking writing. Some people get away with this, and I know it, but that's not what this was supposed to be. This story, when I made it, was to be the sort of thing HY is famous for. Writing all day, four or five updates coming up in that time.

Obviously, that objective failed.

I'd get away with it if the story was, you know. Good. Honestly, though, I just don't have the creativity or the sheer talent to make it what I want it to be. Now, normally you'd expect to hear about how I'm quitting writing or going on hiatus or whatever the fuck, but I'm not delusional enough to think that everyone thinks like I do.

So this is where you come in. I'm not going to update every day - I don't have the energy, I don't have the skill, I don't have that blend of creativity and madness that would require. In fact, this whole random-breaks thing would probably continue. You, though, are going to decide for me. Are you, the reader, the reason this story can go anywhere, willing to put up with that bullshit? Do you like the story enough for that? If you do, I'll keep on running it without another question, until it is complete.

[ ] Fuck your pussy shit. Go away.
[ ] Man, whatever.
[ ] Keep writing. I like your work.
>> No. 25286
[x] Keep writing. I like your work.
[x] Write a continuation to the Yuka story you wrote in forest.
>> No. 25287
[X] Keep writing. I like your work.
>> No. 25289
[X]Keep writing, this is good.

Good god man, what are you thinking?!
>> No. 25294
[X] Keep writing. I like your work.

I believe in you!
>> No. 25311
[ze] Keep writing. I like your work.

I don't care where; I like your writing all the same.
>> No. 25408
I wonder about you people sometimes.
--

No! Resist! Pirates don't party unless they're in something they can wreck and they just got back from a successful plunder and god damn it we still have places to be! There's gonna be a lot of changes around here, and the first I aim at makin' is to get a monopoly. I won't rest until our ship stands victorious on a throne of skulls and driftwood, until this world and the next knows our name, until I get my shanty! "Yukari, you may have had a good point but I have a better one. Two, in fact! And the first is thaddaway." ...Hey. Turn. Go. You never learn how this whole follow-path-of-arm thing works? It's pretty simple, I'll teach you one of these days. Maybe after a long night in a run-down sea shack, surrounded by the darkness and the calls of the gulls, I can give you a personal lesson.

"And the second is that we're not being very fair, here! Look at our crew and tell me what we're missing."
"Competence?"
"Okay, fair enough, but what else?"
"Couldn't tell you."
"Ghosts! There's not a single ghost, spirit, god, or phantom on this ship right now. You know what they could do to us for that? Have you seen people get haunted? It's horrible! We need to get a few, and I know just where to find some good ones!" Greed is a horrible thing to be led by, let me tell you. You start greedin' it up and before you know it you've got greed around the gills and none of your friends want to hang out any more because they think it's contagious or something. So it's not about a monopoly or having stuff, it's just...safety. Of the crew on the whole. Yeah.

The ride there – wherever "there" was, I can never be sure how far back we stop and then start so that we don't look suspicious – was largely uneventful. Okuu tried to fight me again, but me and Yuugi were arm wrestling so when she made my hand slip it punched her into the opposite wall. There were minor complaints about the working conditions, but we talked about it over drinks and most of the crew is now either pacified or deceased.

That sound good enough for a captain's log? I'm never really sure how much poetry to put in with the really boring type talk, so I'll be askin' anyone who should happen to read this to scribble in the margins and leave your name so I can have you skinned alive for intruding on the captain's quarters.

Flowers! I'll never get used to visiting this place; you get here all at once. Blink, bam! Spirits of the dead wailing at you, creepy fog rolling over a river that doesn't quite look like water, and that old clankety boat. Perfect place to relax and kick back, the tide'll rock you to sleep – just ask the owner, you'll nearly always find her here.

So. How should I do this...

>Approach

With finesse? With a giant novelty net? Not?
>> No. 25409
[X]Approach from the air, we need a dramatic entry and exit!
[X]Jump down with one length of rope tied to something and have another with you.
[X]Is the slacker sleeping? That'll make this easier if she is.
-[X]If so, get some rope and hog-tie her. Sling her over your shoulder if possible and have your crew members hoist you up. If not, fly up.
--[X]If not, dramatic rope entry anyways, but if she's not willing to join challenge her to a duel on top of your ship's mast. Why? No reason. Other than you're itching for a fight and haven't had a good duel on your ship yet.
>> No. 25418
[ze] >>25409
This sounds good.
>> No. 25449
[X] >>25409
>> No. 25516
So hey, just in case someone's wondering. I have been writing when I can, but this bit is giving me some trouble. Ideas aren't really flowing like they usually do, et cetera et cetera bitch bitch bitch. Update'll be up as soon as it comes to me.
>> No. 25534
File 124987052063.png - (41.12KB, 756x525, laziestoneyet.png) [iqdb]
25534
Jesus fuck this fought me. Sorry for the wait.
---

How the hell else am I gonna do it? With gusto!

Tying knots always kind of confused me, though. That might get in the way of things. I mean, there's a knot for every occasion and an occasion for every knot. So that means there's gotta be a "Hoisting yourself from a flying pirate ship" knot, and I don't know how to tie it! It's gonna be an essential risk, trying to sneak up on her like this without a proper knot, but at least if the rope breaks on me on the way back up I have a spare.

Okay, end of the rope. End of the line. The line's ending here and the space is still going and I can hear the heads of every third grade math teacher exploding from here just for that one. Funny though that a line would end before it gets where it's going, you know? I'm at the end of my rope, here, but she didn't meet me. Maybe it has something to do with that distance thing she does, maybe one of my crew needs some extra discipline, maybe I made a mistake. Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe I'm dropping through the air the rest of the way and if she's asleep then fuck it, we'll fight just like I've been fighting everyone else today. Since when does fighting get old? I'll fight every day. I don't give a fuck. It's what I do.

Maybe I won't wake her up after all. This is some high-level sleeping, to withstand that kind of an introduction! And surely the rolled-back eyes and oddly pale skin is an indication of the depth of her sleep. Yeah. She just takes her napping seriously. Either way, she's fast asleep without a peep all through the hog-tying process. Even if she isn't a hog, that's the only tying process I really do know, aside from the turtle-tying process but that's not terribly useful for getting people places. I should know more, I really should, but do you know how hard it is to learn to tie knots? Rope is hard to come by, and only the old sea dogs will really teach you anything you wouldn't have learned by yourself.

Speaking of learning things yourself. What's on the other side of this river, anyways? Always boatin' things back and forth, but all I hear about is the process, not the looks. This sounds like an adventure! Going where no mortal has gone before, but where all mortals have gone after death! This'll be a tale for back home, it will. Assuming I get back home. I certainly hope I do, anyways, people still owe me money. Or a ride. I don't care what people say, nothing's more fun than sitting on someone's shoulders and running around! They only call it kid stuff because there's nobody big enough to carry them.

So. Chain around a boat, rope around a slav woma shinig crew member, and no way aboard the ship I came in on.

"Care for a hand, captain?" Ngyah! Forgot about the speaking holes.
"No, but an anchor would be appreciated. Make sure to remind Yukari we're doing things the pirate way from here on out."
"Aye-aye, sir." Always all business with you, China. Gotta have a drink with that girl when we get a free week. Or...get a free week so I can drink with that girl? Certainly sounds piratey enough. I should look into that.

Right, right. Vibrating ground means it's time to grab on and go but man my legs just fit right around this thing and it's so comfortable and the ride up would be so boring and so the world flips upside down! Blood to the head, whatever alcohol's left in me to the brain, and a new view for you. This's a good stretch too, what with the weight and the pulling up and all that, but oh it's already over and we're all on deck and god damn it Yukari.

"Hey, it wasn't me this time. You know about physics." Shit! You're right!
"So you mean to tell me the anchor was getting pulled up so fast that my momentum flung me aboard."
"Well no, I was more referring to you swinging back too hard and breaking through the wall. Good guess though."
"Well, whatever. We're still going, that's all that matters. Where, though, has to be...

>mmmgnwheremi?

Wait. That's not right at all.

"You're on the ship of the as-of-yet unnamed pirates as-of-yet terrorizing the Scarlet Lake and whatever other areas we feel like pretty much. You're also a crew member of that ship, and you're also going to tell us about the other side of this river."
"Uh...there's a beach, and a bunch of hallways, and my boss. I don't really see much of it." Big help you are. Should have just left you be. Unless...
"How long's it gonna take us to get there if we leave now?"
"I dunno. Three? Four days?"

...Well shit.

>input

If you choose to go after Eiki, input a project to undertake involving your crew. Be it drinking with China to loosen her up, challenging Utsuho to another fight, or something entirely different that I just can't even hope to predict with Yukari, it and the following fallout will take up the entire time it takes to get across. The way back, when you come, will be time skipped, so don't worry about that.

Otherwise, usual rules apply. Input anything, as long as it'd be fun to write.
>> No. 25536
Must come up with vote...

[x]Depart now! That judge is coming with us and getting shit-faced drunk wether she likes it or not!
[X]One of the things we could do is collect ghosts from the surrounding area, then we can not only look like a real haunted ship but be one too.
[X]China~ Drinkin' games~
[X]Have a badmiton match between mini-yous and whoever else. You can't think of a good reason either.
[X]Do you still have those panties? You've got a nifty friggin' fruity eyepatch right there!

Yeah.
I may amend this later.
>> No. 25566
One vote again, eh. I'll keep this running if I have to scratch at the floor till my nails fall off, least 'till the second thread. I'd appreciate a word on whether you want to amend that by the way. Can't write with that insecurity.

And hey, while I'm posting. Been thinking about starting a serious story, since admittedly this isn't the best writing I can do and doing lol random all the time isn't good for me. The shorts are nice, yes, but this particular idea is a bit bigger than all that - and I need something that I can write without sitting down for 12 hours and burning myself out. That and waiting for votes when I'm in a writey mood sucks.

So yeah. Look forward to that. ONI was honestly just an experiment, seeing if I could bring back some of the feeling from back in the day as it were, and I'm not particularly happy with it. Though it's fun for me to write when I get a good flow and all, most of the responses I've gotten have leaned toward it being so hard to follow it's impossible to know what to vote, which has pretty much made me cry for Lighthouse because that story was fucking awesome and so much more trippy than this, god damn.

Anyways. New story coming whenever, voice your protests or your "sure fine but don't do this" or anything of the sort, if you care. Update coming whenever I see that confirmation.
>> No. 25569
>>25566
I wouldn't mind seeing some serious writing from you. I don't hate this story; in fact I like the stream-of-thought narrative quite a bit.

But I'm definitely intrigued by the idea of a proper, long-term story by you, as well.
>> No. 25570
>>25566

I do like reading this; though I'll try to come up with a vote next time, seeing how I have knack for write ins.
>> No. 25577
>>25566

Yes on the serious story, I'd like to see what you do with it.
Especially since I can't keep up the write-ins, it almost literally felt like I crapped that last one out instead of doing any kind of thought, good, or funny like the ones I did before.
I want to see this continue as well, but I don't want to be (or at least feel like) the sole voter.
>> No. 25578
>>25577
Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but that's what mostly concerned me. There's been too many one- or two-vote winners, and most of those have been you. Forget being the only voter, I was getting the impression I only had one reader left. Which, I mean. Considering my update schedule I can't really blame people for giving up on this madness, but I already addressed that little concern so whatever.

Still waiting on more votes and/or confirmation of whether you want to amend that one, but I am working on getting together something resembling a plan for the other one.
>> No. 25579
>>25578

Well it's a bit hard to vote, but I read this story, and I will make an effort to vote more. I'm surprised that anon hasn't jumped on this since this story encourages crazy decisions.
>> No. 25580
Modifying vote:

[X]Go after the Yama! She's getting drunk wether she likes it or not!
-[X]Collect any wayward souls so you can be a real haunted pirate ship. Better to be the hauntee than the haunted after all.
-[X]Brush up on your insult swordfighting, and remember: On the high seas, lake, river, whatever it has to rhyme. But practice the land-based insults as well, you may not get to duel the Yama on the sea.
-[X]So far, only you and Yukari are wearing pirate garb right? We're gonna have to fix that before we get there. Better to be presentable and taken seriously.

I like this far better.
>> No. 25581
[X]Go after the Yama! She's getting drunk wether she likes it or not!
-[X]Collect any wayward souls so you can be a real haunted pirate ship. Better to be the hauntee than the haunted after all.
-[X]Brush up on your insult swordfighting, and remember: On the high seas, lake, river, whatever it has to rhyme. But practice the land-based insults as well, you may not get to duel the Yama on the sea.
-[X]So far, only you and Yukari are wearing pirate garb right? We're gonna have to fix that before we get there. Better to be presentable and taken seriously.
[X] Check to see if we have a fitting pirate flag, preferably something with a horned skull and sake bottles.

Making a bit of an improvement.
>> No. 25590
A few more things:

[X] Loosen up China; since the point is to have fun, and if that super killjoy pad maid comes, I'll have mini-mes take her knives and pads and force her to join as well, we certainly need a maid around here.
[X] Test out that slacker's chest in terms of being a pillow. I know Yukari uses that fox shikigami of hers as a pillow at times; I want one of my own!
[X] I wonder where that nosy Tengu is, since we need someone to chronicle our adventures, and that Wolf-dog tengu that hangs around her would make a excellent look out, pirates gotta have those.
[X] I recall one of those kappa being good with machines and water manipulation... but shy, but nothing that a few drinks won't fix!

I re-read this and decided to add a few things to bring out the crazy spirit of this story.
>> No. 27228
File 125562080325.jpg - (104.12KB, 480x640, Zombie-pirate_640x480.jpg) [iqdb]
27228
Hopped up on cold meds. Celebrating return of FLAT. Too shaky to draw.

Let's see how this works out.
---

Swig. Swig gotta drink gotta relax good time to think. You always look more clever if you think while doing something where you can't talk. Sure you could take a second and think just starin' off into space but hell, why not take a nice long drink anyways? All about the cinematics and the style, pirates. Speaking of style, these ghosts...

"Slacker! First order of business, you're helping to make this home a haunt."
"Sure."
"No compla-wha?" ...Sure?
"Yeah, I can usually only take over one at a time anyways. Win-win." Ghosts work fast, apparently. All rotted masts and oh god skeleton arm? This thing's gonna crack the second I try to punch someone what the shit! I didn't sign up for this! And you, quit laughin' and find your eyeball! That's unsanitary, right there. I won't be held responsible if you catch a cold or somethin'.
"What's the matter, cap'n? Scared o' ghosts?" 'ey. Are you tryin' to pick a fight, maggot girl?
"Nah, just disgusted. Back off, titty monster."
"Ooh, not bad. Gonna have to brush up over the next few days, though."
"What, like painting?" Something tells me it'd be hard to hold the brush with my fingers like this, though, all clackety-clack. Finger painting might work, though. All kinds of fun, that – especially when you loosely interpret "finger." For the best time of your life, get a pint, a tarp, a trampoline, and some paint!
"The pen is mightier than the sword, lass, especially when nothing's got a body to hurt. Around this part of town, we fight with words." Fight with words? That's stupid.
"Fight with words? That's stupid."
"And that's your loss, ya witless cunt." ...Oh. Best sweep it under the rug, then.
"So hey how about that flag? Do we even have one?"
"I whipped up a little something while you were gone, actually. Figured you would like it, but I didn't put it up yet."
"God damn it Yukari, that was supposed to take all week! Do you have any idea how bored we're gonna be? At least sewing takes some time, with all the in and out and piercing that long steel needle through the fabric over and over until the pressure is just too much to keep going and it all turns out beautifully, giving everyone something to admire in those lonely nights on the high seas, a labor of love shared by the whole crew! Now what are we gonna do?"
"I'm sure you can come up with something." Something. Something...missing. Missing like the flesh from this gaping nonexistent hole in my arm.

Wait.

"Titty monster, does this all happen to everyone on the other side? The whole rot and decay bit. I mean, I let it slide because I thought we would be unique this way, you know, identifiable and intimidating and what have you, but if we're all zombies and skellingtons over there we'll all look the same! That just won't do, no no nonono. Have you ever seen a zombie horde? Can't tell one apart from the next unless they're wearing uniforms!"
"Oh, I know exactly what you mean! It's so hard to pick them out, and they always ask about their families and friends and I'm all man I don't know you! Then one comes along with a biker jacket with a big skull on the back or something, or in one of those huge one-man-band getups, right? You remember those types."
"Yeah, yeah! You know exactly where I'm going with this!"
"I'm just glad I can actually talk to someone about work. You know how boring it gets when nobody can relate?"
"Yeah, it's like talking to people who've never had a drink."
"Ooh, you'll hate the Yama then. That woman needs to lighten up, I tell you. You know how many times I've seen her out of uniform?"
"No, but you're gonna see her out of uniform soon enough. Take a drink and start lookin' below deck for fabric. We've got work to do." Arm in arm, shoulder in shoulder (Nifty thing about this whole skellington business, gotta say. No pain to speak of.) and creaks from bones and floorboards alike. The next few days are gonna be fun.

---

"Oi. Wake up." Oh, fuck off already.
"We're here." Don't care.
"Ship's on fire." Cool.
"Party at the Yama's." Fashionably late.
"Rum's missing."
"Which of you soon-to-be paraplegics let the rum go?! I'll fill yer gut with radishes and send you to a rabbit convention! I'll pike ye on an umbrella and let it loose! I'll...I'll...I'll send you to bed without dinner!" Oh, hey. Fell asleep at the wheel.
"We're here."
"You said that already." And what a 'here' here is. All gold-plated walls and moody torches, on a tower so high you'd think it reaches to heaven or something. "Gather up the crew, we're making an invasion plan."

Doesn't take but a few swigs till everyone's on deck, pretty as a picture. Pretty might not be the word for it, what with the horrible dripping blood and half-exposed bones, cracked and broken but still functional, but damn it this is my crew and I'll call it what I want.

"So. We're getting the Yama smashed. Any suggestions?"

>
>> No. 27229
[X] Punch the building over. That'll get her out right quick.
>> No. 27233
>>27228

Ah that might explain the lack of telling who's talking

Also I wonder if those other plans would be considered in the future.

[X] Punch the building over. That'll get her out right quick.

Sounds good for now.
>> No. 27237
Losing momentum killed me before. Taking another dose and gettin' back to work. As per the norm, feel free to toss out a vote in the mean time.
>> No. 27244
File 125563325358.png - (55.70KB, 798x603, Kyan.png) [iqdb]
27244
"Why don't you just punch the building? I mean, it's worked up till now, right?" ...Point.
"Now that you mention it...yeah, it has! Why didn't I think of that? Nyahahahahaha!" And why wait? Jump off and land with a thud slip roll thud bark thud ouch. Rockier than I thought it'd be, and this whole skeleton thing really throws off your balance. The wall is...a wall. It's pretty big when you get up close like this, gotta say. Kind of makes you wonder how it got here, what with all the ghosts being ghosts. Maybe the five elements are different for ghosts! Fog, Zombie, Gold, uh...well, I can ask around. I've gotta be more considerate of others here, anyways. Have a swig, ghosts. Have a swig, me. Have a swig, ghostme.
"That's polluting, you know. Yama probably won't be too happy about it."
"And who're you to say? You don't even have a face." Eh, screw being considerate, I'm a pirate.
"Well, no one yet. You new here or what?"
"Why yes, in fact. I should call out a tour guide." Knock knock! Anyone home?

Knock!

Nobody, huh? Or maybe you just can't hear me over this racket.

Knock!

Come on, if you have a door guard there's gotta be something inside! Maybe I've just gotta knock a little harder?

KnoCRACK Theeeeere we go. If you don't come out now, at least it'll be easier to find you in the rubble.

"Someone had better have a reallygood explan-oh. You." Recognition...? Does that mean...
"Yeah, us. Say it! You know you want to!" If we're known as far as the underworld, that makes us the biggest and most famous pirate crew in Gensokyo!
"I refuse to honor such a band of hooligans with an utterance of your name. Even giving you a title would only be encouraging your behavior."
"Then we shall return the favor, shorty." Twitching already? Weak!
"What did you hope to accomplish coming here? Disrupting the flow of life and death itself? Have you the slightest idea how many souls just escaped with the destruction of this place?" Ugh. So high-and-mighty.
"Yes, they all escaped the fate of meeting you. I'd say this is a positive mark on my karma!" Pfft. This is the easiest job ever. I should be a Yama.
"Your delusions will be the end of you. Before you stands a force greater than even God, and yet you carry on your mocking tone. Are you stupid, or just insane?" ...Gotta think. Swig time. Nice and long, though the rum's got less of a shock to it now. Kind of sad to see it go; it's been one of the best drinks I've had in years and there's no way a place as dead as this is gonna have something as nice. Unless...
"There's nothing delusional about me. Only way to see the world as it is is through rum-tinted spectacles, right?" Face to face, now. How scary! Is she gonna hit me with that little twig shoh fuck that thing is heavier than iow god damn it quiAGH WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY.
"Repent! Recognize your sins, accept them, and repent!" Shit, isn't this against the rules?!
"Titty monster! Help me out here!" Really now! The whole crew is already picking through the rubble for stuff and you're still...

Asleep. Figur-ow!

>get this bitch offa me
>> No. 27246
[X]Force greater than God? Who gives a shit? We'll break time and space if we want!
[X]Chain time! Restrain her and force rum down her throat until she stops resisting! Or stops hitting me with that stupid whacky stick. Whichever comes first.
[X]Steal the stick and whack the titty monster for sleeping on her shift. She'll sleep when I want a pillow dammit!
>> No. 27249
[X]Force greater than God? Who gives a shit? We'll break time and space if we want!
[X]Chain time! Restrain her and force rum down her throat until she stops resisting! Or stops hitting me with that stupid whacky stick. Whichever comes first.
[X]Steal the stick and whack the titty monster for sleeping on her shift. She'll sleep when I want a pillow dammit!
>> No. 27250
[x] Throw Yama at Slacker. Now you're not getting hit anymore and she gets woken up! Genius!
>> No. 27255
[X]Force greater than God? Who gives a shit? We'll break time and space if we want!
[X]Chain time! Restrain her and force rum down her throat until she stops resisting! Or stops hitting me with that stupid whacky stick. Whichever comes first.
[X]Steal the stick and whack the titty monster for sleeping on her shift. She'll sleep when I want a pillow dammit!
>> No. 27256
File 125563964312.jpg - (99.60KB, 1000x770, 1235569800547.jpg) [iqdb]
27256
Shower, sweet sweet medicine, then writing.

Also this pace is so not happening tomorrow because job interviews are scary.
>> No. 27263
File 125564633667.png - (570.60KB, 1400x1200, oh exploitable.png) [iqdb]
27263
Whatever. I can do this. If this old prude is greater than God, then we're...well I don't know what the hell we are but damn it we can take her on any day. Or night! Or...wait, when the hell is it? Blue sun? Well, blue-sun time works too. Go chain go! Wrap around tha-ow! What?!

"I'm not sure you heard me the first time, so I'll repeat myself. I am a force greater than God. You'll need to be a bit more clever than...what was that you were trying to do? Wrap me in a chain? Really, now." ...Hm. This could be a problem. Clever then. Chain is no, buow. But the stick seems to connect just fine, which means I shouow. Which means I should use that somehow, instead of trying to directly hu"Fucking christ, can't you give me like two seconds?!"
"Two seconds won't change garbage from garbage, or dirt from dirt." Pulling the condescending card, huow. So take advantage of conceit?
"And two seconds is nothing in the face of a being greater than God, right? Prove you're better."
"Do you really think I haven't heard that on-KYA!" Stopping for two seconds to talk works too, even if it is less dramatic. Or is it more dramatic if I interrupt her mid-sentence by exploding? Sometimes it's hard to tell with these situations. Not every day I face a being greater than God, and I'd bet you a beer that it's not every day such a being wakes up with a face full of mammaries.
"Haahn...not now, Eiki...so early..." Titty Monster, you dog! And...sleeping straight through it holy shit.
"Komachi, let go of me! You're obstructing the...hnnnngh! Obstructing the pursuit of...oh, for..."

Now...I could tell you right now how hard I'm laughing. I could describe in perfect detail just how much my ribs hurt from getting pounded by whatever muscle it is I've already forgotten the name of, or how sore my throat is. I could also just write "hahaha" over and over here, but...Let's just save time. Pretend there was a poem about it or something. Now, laughing aside, gotta stroll on up to that cute little defeated face. Is she cowering? She's cowering oh my god! With the little tears in the corners of her eyes and everything! Aww, poor little thing. I'm just gonna sit next to you, don't be afraid!

"Just get it over with. I don't know what you plan to do with me, but you've caused enough damage as it is and I'd like to get back to work." Back to work, she says.
"I think we can come to a reasonable compromise." Her little arms are pinned down by Komachi's grip, so she's really in no position to fight the gourd though that doesn't stop her from trying damn hard. I still don't get why some people do that. Don't fight the gourd, love the gourd. Kiss the gourd. Rub the gourd. He'll do right by you.

See, now? Five swigs' time and she's out like a light, all blushing and hugging the titty monster. It looks less like restraint and more like two lovers at this point, which doesn't actually seem too impossible. "Hey, did anyone bring a camera? We've gotta get a picture of these two."
"No, but I could get onawwwww!" Finally, that gap stuff comes in handy and we've got instant memories. But something about this scene seems a little...

Exploitable.

>

Please, please, please tell me you still remember how to be incredibly awesome.
>> No. 27264
[x] Put them in various states of undress
[x] Take pictures
- [x] Take note to have one of The Yama sleeping on the titty monster's chest
[x] Take the whacking stick so when she sobers up she doesn't assault you with it
>> No. 27265
>>27264
Not to prod anon, but you can do better than that.

She's already using titpillows by the way.
>> No. 27266
[X]Cosplay. How many times am I going to have a drunk sleeping Yama at my mercy? Strip her down, dress her up! Make people think she's colorblind, she sees in black and white anyway!
[X]I wonder if Yukari can help 'play' with the situation... So I can take more photos!
[X]Give a full set of extra copies to the Bunbunmaru when we go back, just for the hell of it. Heh.
>> No. 27267
[X]Cosplay. How many times am I going to have a drunk sleeping Yama at my mercy? Strip her down, dress her up! Make people think she's colorblind, she sees in black and white anyway!
[X]I wonder if Yukari can help 'play' with the situation... So I can take more photos!
[X]Give a full set of extra copies to the Bunbunmaru when we go back, just for the hell of it. Heh.
>> No. 27282
Those above, plus
[+] We're pirates, ain't we? We need booty. No, wait, that would be hard to take with us. And messy if that's all we take. So I guess we gotta go with the next best thing - Yama panties! I wonder if they're black or white? Or black and white?
[+] Snag her gavel, too, while we're at it. She's a judge, she's gotta have a gavel somewhere.
>> No. 27313
Good write-in, but I can't really do shenanigans with my grandma on her deathbed. I'm gonna try and get a short out, if I (or you! Open to suggestions.) can come up with an idea for one, but...give ONI a couple days. Sorry, guys.
>> No. 27383
>>27313
Damn.

I'm really sorry to hear that, man. That happened to me as well, a few months ago.

Stay well.
>> No. 27538
>>27313
Hope you're doing fine right now. We'll be here for you.
>> No. 27547
There is a 90% chance that this will be my last post on THP.

I've never much been one for long goodbyes. Goodbye.
>> No. 27551
>>27547
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

I'm certainly going to miss you and your stories.
>> No. 27553
>>27547
;_;

I'll miss you.
>> No. 27563
>>27547
Please don't leave.

We love you.
>> No. 27564
>>27547
Meh, why is it that every community similar to this gathers drama like flies?
>> No. 27565
>>27564
I don't see any drama going on. Just someone stating that they're discontinuing their participation here. Nothing to be done about it but accept it.

That said, it's always a shame to have someone go.
>> No. 27571
I feel bad now.

I always ignored this throughout all the time it's been here and when I finally decide to read it, I get to the bottom and find that the writer is gone.

Damn, this was funny too.
>> No. 27586
File 125626688360.jpg - (952.19KB, 1280x1024, fce5da42ca02e3c51faf5fafe298e5d6.jpg) [iqdb]
27586
>> No. 27597
File 125628532565.jpg - (146.32KB, 650x650, patchy151.jpg) [iqdb]
27597
>>27547

But... we love you! Don't go!
>> No. 27598
>>27547
Hate to see you go, NARH. If you do go, we'll miss you, and I hope you'll reconsider sometime in the future.
>> No. 28148
>>27547

...why must all my favorite writers leave...
>> No. 29795
File 12671176186.jpg - (0.96MB, 1280x1024, 4d6cd31edc68e6a9c92003779dea0edb.jpg) [iqdb]
29795
Forcing my eyelids which are way too heavy for their own good reveals a dark expanse, punctuated with twinkling stars. Night time is a whole other world: When there's nothing in the sky, there's more there to see. There may not be sunlight, but a pale silver washes the land, seeming to give it its own illumination, and a warm breeze wraps around me, offering its comfort. Did I...doze off?

"Have a nice nap?" I thought something was strange about that breeze.
"Mm. On the nicest of pillows." Half a blanket, too. The only thing left to make this perfect...
"I like the way you think. Care to share?" Without hesitation, without inhibition, and with a great deal of relish, I share. We share. Sake tastes better when it's spiced with a pair of lips. Even feels smoother going down, and that warm feeling seems to linger,

and linger...

After a long minute, our relative silence is broken. "So. Any plans for tonight?"
"I'm thinking something quiet. Wouldn't mind sitting right here with you." Oh, is it really that shocking? With the arms, and everything.
"Not even going to drink?"
"Well, I wouldn't go that far..." And this time, it's he who shares. Still just as nice.

---

Still just as nice in the morning, too.

The peace, though, has been shattered in only the most dramatic fashion, leaving cracks in the soil and a small crater where my rambunctious little boy landed after a flip off the roof. It'll heal itself, and so will he.

"Good morning."
"Yeah it is! What are you doing sitting around? Today is an adventure day!"
"Then go and adventure! I'll catch up. Promise." Skeptical? Clearly he's still too young. Then again, maybe I'm just too old.
"I can't tell you where I'll end up."
"Neither can I. If you're having a real adventure I'll be able to find you, though."
"If you say so. Don't be too slow, all right?"
"Yeah, yeah. Go! Have fun! It's beautiful out."

With just one more glance backwards he takes off running, leaving a trail of uprooted trees and a suddenly very nostalgic old oni in his wake.

"Youth, huh." I can see through your smirk, you old ham. You miss it just as much.
"We all had it. We should be proud that he's turning out so well."
"Never said I wasn't. Hell, he's almost as strong as you."
"And just what is that supposed to mean? I'm way stronger than him!"

Our eyes lock.

Our arms lock.

Youth is overrated.
>> No. 29796
>>29795
Nice little short;
>> No. 29797
>>29795

Nice. I'm a sucker for this kind of thing~
>> No. 29814
Awww...
>> No. 29822
Just in case it wasn't already apparent, "The End."
>> No. 29834
>>29822
FFFFFF

I enjoyed it while it lasted. ;_;
>> No. 29844
Thus the adventure was a dream of Suika's back in her heyday. Makes me curious who with since s/he's the other parent of Suika's kid.
>> No. 29856
>>29844
That is a question that will remain unanswered. You pretty much got it right, though.

And for anyone who was wondering, Siki's panties would have been panda print with little ribbons. Any other questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer 'em if I see 'em - including what-ifs.
>> No. 29864
What if you kept writing?

Not necessarily this, but anything. I miss it.
>> No. 29867
>>29864
That's not a bad question. I'd probably run out of ideas fairly quickly, and not much would change from when I was gone. You might have gotten one or two more shorts, in that time.

That of course is the pessimistic side speaking, which may only be a result of ending ONI and therefore admitting defeat in a way. Thinking a bit more positively, maybe I'd have more of a following by now. Thinking in the present, still not much difference.

I think "what if I kept writing" is a question that only Anon can really answer. For me, writing is just a matter of doing it - I'd be spending less time on puzzle games with varying degrees of inanity, otherwise I'd spend less time on actual important things. I doubt I'll get any better - I certainly haven't since I started, and this site won't change that - but if it'd give the site some goodness then I might just throw a few ideas together now and then.

Interesting question, just vague enough to set me off like it has (though that may be in part due to the condition my condition is in) but still specific enough to ignore. Hopefully my answer was satisfactory.
>> No. 29873
>>29856
>Siki
ತ_ತ
>> No. 29879
>>29867
How about we ask you to write again?

"Please write again. Anything is fine."

Like that, see?
>> No. 29881
>>29867

Then permit me to be exceptionally blunt: I don't really care what you write (though awesome Suika would be nice), just write damn you. Not only am I tired of being virtually the only writefag active in /shrine/ but I enjoy your work quite a bit.
>> No. 29905
>>29881
You're the fastest updating Writefag here, and I think the main reason people bother checking /shrine/. Ever since YAF got smited, this section hasn't been the same. The rampant bias against Reimu doesn't help much.

>>29867
We're always looking forward to your writing, such a shame you had to end ONI, since it's a story were Anon could go wild, since who's able to stop an Oni, or better yet an Oni with her gap youkai best friend? If this pirate scenario was updated with UFO in mind things would be even more interesting.

Still I'm sure anon will welcome your ideas warmly.
>> No. 29913
>>29905
Pfft. What ideas?
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