[Return]
Archived thread

File 121819600764.jpg - (135.62KB , 640x904 , 121652586299.jpg ) [iqdb]
16878 No. 16878
Hello, and again, welcome to /shrine/'s most lazy writefag's thread. We hope that the short stall you had to endure was a pleasant one...

Et caetera, i tak dalej, and so on, let's get to the point instead of making seemingly random references.
Thing is, I am sad to inform you that I'll be putting all of my /shrine/ work on hiatus.

Before you rage or give in to euphoria though, heed my explanation. There is not much left of summer vacation and I'd like to enjoy it to the fullest. According to the bits of my considerations from yesterday I remember, and my constant drunk philosophical serious thoughts from Croatia, I have come to a conclusion that I need to do something. Get my life out of a coma in which I fulfill my fantasies while writing touhou fanfiction.

Blogging aside, I'll allow myself to give a short summary of every story I have the priviledge to write.

This Shrine 4 / This Kazami Mansion - To be honest, I pretty much check&mate'd myself by allowing Yuuka route while having foundations for Reimu Reload already set and devices in motion. That I shall punish myself for by banging my head against a wall later. Back to the point, I realized that while I had a big event upcoming (Transparent Night), all the events I already thought up were made for the character not of anon's choice for current route. I suppose my... extraordinary fanboyism towards red-white miko is just too big to keep it at bay. Yuuka is a hard character to write, maybe I overestimated my abilities, choosing to allow her route. Last but not least, I feel conflicted when faced with the choice of character to start catastrophe events later on in the story. I simply have too many ideas and cannot decide which ones to realize.
-Work will continue: End of Summer Vacation

Ai Ai Akyu - nearing it's end, but snailing around hellishly, this story was supposed merely to train my writing skills in H-scenes and meaningless gibberish. I could easily end it in 3-4-5 updates, but wouldn't it feel rushed? Well, it's not like it was a serious project in the first place...
-Work will continue: when I feel like it / end of summer vacation

Beautiful Killing Chamber 3 - spawn more votes.
-Work will continue: votes / end of summer vacation

Collaboration of Missing Numbers - ah, here we go, my latest piece. Meant to be a darker story, it turns out that my efforts to create a mystery around the main character and her work, my hints that I kept throwing in about them, they all either went unnoticed or ignored. Not much happened, I know, but the information I provided was more than enough to discover the... nature of Fuku. And it all devolved into 'lol Renji' parade. Was it my fault or not, it's not for me to judge. End of chapter 1/prologue is only 1-2 updates ahead, so I might as well kick my own ass and finish the damn thing. Chapter 2 will come back along with the rest of the stories.
-Work will continue: when I feel like it / when I format my laptop's HDD yet again

Now then, to summarize. For the time being, I'll let the newcomers thrive and grow in my absence as I devote myself to enjoying the outside and occasional spurs of work for the VN.

Kirin, Paper Boy, I wish you good luck and god speed. Not many people visit /shrine/, which I suppose is my fault. You're up to a difficult task, and if you prevail, I will personally applause you IRL. By having a drink.

>> No. 16880
>>16878
>08/08/08(Fri)

I should've waited for 08:08, but, well, fuck me.
>> No. 16881
Well at least you're not throwing in the towel and leaving altogether which I thought you'd do based on your drunken slurring last night. Enjoy your summer vacation and don't you DARE pull a Nine or we'll have your head.
>> No. 16882
^
>> No. 16883
ur a faget
>> No. 16887
>>16883

As if it was something new.
>> No. 16888
File 121819971318.png - (16.57KB , 760x760 , pacman.png ) [iqdb]
16888
>>16883
>> No. 16890
File 121820141541.jpg - (330.75KB , 650x643 , Copy of 121302999399.jpg ) [iqdb]
16890
>Ai Ai Akyu - nearing it's end
Dammit, that's my favorite one. Needs more Akyu being adorable and also fairies.

>Beautiful Killing Chamber 3 - spawn more votes.
You have 7 votes. For the same thing. It's unanimous. Are you doing first to 10 or what the fuck?

>the information I provided was more than enough to discover the... nature of Fuku.
awesome.jpg

>And it all devolved into 'lol Renji' parade. Was it my fault or not, it's not for me to judge.
What do you expect when we can't fucking get away from the motherfucker? Either he just shows up again, or we get hit by a car and die of car AIDS. It's your fault.
>> No. 16900
>Kirin, Paper Boy, I wish you good luck and god speed. Not many people visit /shrine/, which I suppose is my fault. You're up to a difficult task, and if you prevail, I will personally applause you IRL. By having a drink.

I will try to stay strong, good sir. Pray for my success.
>> No. 16926
>Beautiful Killing Chamber 3 - spawn more votes.

This one I actually liked--it seemed like a redemption of the disappointing Family Affairs route.

>Collaboration of Missing Numbers - ah, here we go, my latest piece. Meant to be a darker story, it turns out that my efforts to create a mystery around the main character and her work, my hints that I kept throwing in about them, they all either went unnoticed or ignored. Not much happened, I know, but the information I provided was more than enough to discover the... nature of Fuku. And it all devolved into 'lol Renji' parade. Was it my fault or not, it's not for me to judge.

I think the problem is that the readers were expecting someone stoic like R. Shiki or a sociopath like Naya, and when she wasn't, we imagined her character into a contrarian, over-guarded tsundere, which simply doesn't work with the hook you provided (Renji).

As for her "nature" I didn't see anything at all that suggested she was more than human.
>> No. 16930
>>16926
>Family Affairs

Did you mean Familiy Ties?
>> No. 16931
>the information I provided was more than enough to discover the... nature of Fuku.
Obviously, this is a case where the writer's foreknowledge of the events is clouding his ability to see the obscurity for the reader.
Write for the obtuse, YAF. Anon is either too dumb, too ADD, or just too oblivious to what you think is "obvious" to catch the "obvious" clues. Take this into account when writing.
>> No. 16949
>>16931
Only thing Anon can tell is when a writefag, shitty or not, is trying to force a route down their collective throats.
>> No. 16954
>>16949

Did that ever happen anywhere?
>> No. 16961
>Collaboration of Missing Numbers
CoMN?

lol, Renji
>> No. 16993
>>16949
And half the time he's jumping the gun there. Anon is known for two things: Stupidity and paranoia.
>> No. 16994
>>16993

Three. You forgot about the self-loathing.
>> No. 16995
GET BACK TO WORK NIGGER

We all know that you are an attention whore, if everyone cries enough for you to return, you will come back and write like the fist of north star.

So get back to work now, i want to read what shit you write again. It's been s long time already, vacation is over, just get back to work cotton nigger.
>> No. 17008
File 121845869168.jpg - (66.57KB , 550x413 , 0f6ec5fbe0e6be297f23ac4af6004ddcbd8d683c.jpg ) [iqdb]
17008
>>16995
>We all know that you are an attention whore, if everyone cries enough for you to return, you will come back and write like the fist of north star.

All true. I have no intention of denying it.
But there are two problems: vacation is not over yet, and, as for right now, I'm having a friend stay over for a few days, and leaving him unattended just to write crappy touhou fanfiction would be... rude, now wouldn't it? Whatever you people say, YAF is a gracious host.
>> No. 17019
>>17008
Does it look like i care?
Just kick him out and start writing.
>> No. 17030
>Ai Ai Akyu - nearing it's end

This makes me sad. I really enjoy AAA for a number of reasons and the few times I manage to visit this site anymore I always check up on it. Unfortunately it hasn't had many updates as of late but I honestly feel the story could go on for quite a bit longer but it's your call. Enjoy the remaining time of your summer.
>> No. 17741
Somthing I wrote while thinking about the TS - groundhog day-kind of project, having been stripped of the access to internet. Well, I probably won't be starting it anyway, so enjoy.

==

TS-KT, Groundhog Day

Scene: Yuuka, greeting, after Fairy fight
Yuuka's field

You enter the field, leaving the unsonscious fairies behind.

And are suddenly covered by a half-transparent darkness. As if the whole of it was but a giant stage, it bathes in calm, black mist.
A light comes up a few meters away from you, revealing a figure you know so well, wearing plaid, red clothing, holding an umbrella in one hand, and a human skull in the other. You smile. Such a fitting... prop, for both her and this stage. Is she letting you witness a spectacle of sorts? Or were those impulses that guided you here merely a distraction, to make you fall right onto her stage and become an actor yourself?
"I knew," she speaks up, staring straight into the skull's empty eyesockets "That those fairies I made would prove far... inferior in the face of your tactics."
As if requesting an adequate response, a light lits above you as well. You let a small smirk creep onto your lips.
"You summon and kill! Summon and kill." a few steps with your arms raised high in a gesture of disdain "I fail to see the logic here!" You spin around with your fist clenched in front of your face, making your coat graze against the flowers at your feet. Then, relax it and clench it again. "Is... sanity... the price to pay..." and make a wide swing "FOR POWER?"
The light above you goes down, now lighting up above Yuuka again. She's still holding onto the skull.
"Humans..." she almost whispers "They are but weak and stubborn... It takes a journey to hell and back for them to accept and appreciate their inferiority... A fact, that TICKLES" the skull is instantly crushed into white dust by Yuuka's fingers "Irony's judgement..."
She brings her fist close to her lips, then gently blows into it, making the white dust forms a cloud entangling your figure.
"Heh." you spin around, making the coat blow away the mist "And your judgements interest me not. For I am here! To reclaim! What is rightfully mine!"
The light disappears again, only to reveal Yuuka holding up her umbrella like a sword a second after.
"Yuuka's heart!" she shouts "That is what you seek! And that is why," she swings it around violently "I stand in your path!"
You take a short run-up, then fall on your knees, sliding between Yuuka's legs. The light envelopes you just as you finish the bold move and raise your arms high, drunk with adrenaline. For some reason, colourful danmaku pieces scatter all around you, making it look as if someone shot a tube of confetti to crown your undoubtedly breakneck stunt.
"Hahaha!" you give her a short laugh as she stands unmoving "You will fumble in the opposition of my quest! But I encourage!"
Light goes off once more, giving you time to make an unnaturally long leap onto a tall crag nearby. Then it lights up again, showing you tower over the sunflower field. Yuuka turns to you in suprisement. It seems that her own spectacle has gone out of ther control.
But show must go on, as the cliche goes, and you swing your arms with cheerful exxageration again.
"For an opportunity! To battle a being of such GRAAAAAAAAAAND delusion!" you point at her suprised face "As you!" then make a deep bow "Is a sweet fortune!"
Darkness stands victorious again as all the little lights disappear, letting you freeze mid-way through a bow with satisfaction. As if by some sort of magic, the black shroud vanishes without trace, making the sunrays once more flood the field.
Clap, clap, clap.
It seems that your showoff has fulfilled it's purpose. At least Yuuka looks entertained enough to give you an applause before rushing in to crush your head.
"Nice, very nice." she says, calmly "You stole my own stage. That's an admirable thing to do. I didn't expect you to be able to take on such a task. Though, I have to admit," she grips the handle of her umbrella tighter, as you notice lazily "It pissed me off a bit."
Aha, the situation has become clear. No matter how much you impress her, it's all going to end up the same way. Well, no matter. After all, it was what you came here for, right?
With the corner of your eye, you take note of a piece of skull she crushed earlier. Merely a shard, it had to fly all the way here because she used too much force... Well.
"Hey." you pick it up and conspicuously turn it around in your fingers "Didn't your mother teach you not to litter?"
"Silence!" she roars, literally, with a voice surpassing the tones of a human woman.
You dodge a beam of energy that shot at you with ease, then dust off your coat.
"Waha, that was close. Now my coat's all charred!" you make a short pause before straightening up "Very well." and demonstratively flick off your knife "Let's begin the main event."
[end of scene]
>> No. 17742
TS-KT, Groundhog Day

Scene: Akyu, Mokou confrontation
Village park

"Well, well." you raise your gaze towards the unwanted guest "Who do my adorable eyes see?"
Akyu tenses uneasily as you re-use her previous statement in your undoubtedly rude greeting. And who could you be greeting other than the one that interrupted this delightful moment? Of course, Fujiwara Mokou, the ever-jealous, eternal teenager. Dressed in the same red overalls and white shirt, she stands a few meters before your bench, sending daggers at both you and Akyu, who in embarassment attempts to lift her head off your lap. Needless to say, you quickly foil her efforts by putting a hand on her forehead. Then lean back even more, to mock the unreasonably angry girl.
"Why the showoff?" she asks.
Ah, even her tone hasn't changed from... before. Constantly lazy, a bit rude, and unpleasant for the ears voice of a girl in her puberty. Same as always, really. Will she ever grow up? No, it's rather impossible for her to do so.
"Mokou." you say her name, stretching out every syllabe to make it sound as horrible as possible "What brings you here on such a nice day? Shouldn't you be in the wild, playing with rabbits?"
With satisfaction, you notice her left eyebrow twitching a little. Small step for a human, great step in pissing off Mokou. Ah, still impulsive, aren't you? But, that's that, what does she want anyway? If this was about finally getting revenge for what happened back then, wouldn't she be already in offensive? Yet she seems to hesitate for some reason.
"S-surely you jest!" she tries to keep her voice calm, but even now she betrays lots of signs of irritation. Irregular breathing. Higher pulse. Sweating. Even if you're a few meters away, you can still sense them all clearly. Amazing. "I was j-just checking up on you and Akyu, that's all!"
"Oho." you make yet another attempt of Akyu to stand up fail miserably while having your attention turned entirely to the girl before you "Are you sure? Is there a problem, Mokou? You look pale."
In answer, she looks away, trying to make it impossible for you to see her supposedly 'pale' face. In fact, she's more red than pale, but details are details... What counts now, that with every second, she gets more and more irritated.
"It's nothing! Nothing I say! Stop staring at me!"
She cringes under your intensive observation. Nothing, huh? Sure doesn't look like nothing to you. Well, but you know well what is her problem, right? Why not push it a little bit more? After all, what is there to lose?
"I see. Are you sure though? Come on, you know I can give you a hand whenever you need, Mokou."
Perfect. She almost coughs on her own saliva after hearing that. And the fact that she tries to conceal it at all costs only makes it worse. A complete success. Oh, Mokou, you shy girl you. At least be honest with your feelings! This is not life is about! You're missing out all the fun! And the opportunity to play around doesn't happen every day! Savour it!
"Wha-what are you talking about, I wonder?" she turns her blood-shot eyes and cheeks to you again "I don't need your--"
"Oh, don't worry." you interrupt her "I know much about you. In fact, I have it all in my little finger."
You hold back the laugher as she coughs desperately again, to hide the fiery red skin on her face. This is too much! Oh man, this is great! She's so embarassed she could burst on flames any moment!
Speaking of which...
"E-enough! How can you say such things in front of Akyu!" again, you are faced with her angry expression "Isn't she the one--"
"Hahaha!" your entertained chuckle at least escaped the tyranous grip of self-control and sounds clear in the afternoon air "Did I say anything inappropriate? Mokou, you're a funny girl!"
"Shut up!" really, she's so close to exploding you start wondering why hasn't she done that yet "Are you looking for a fight?! In front of Akyu?!"
"If something happens, I'm sure she can lick her own wounds."
Sudden wave of heat hits your face like a flamethrower, sending chunks of benches and flowerbeds past your head, all of them missing it by mere milimeters. You remain still, unfazed by the spectacle of destruction that is now going on where Mokou was standing a moment ago. Now, floating above the ground, two giant, flaming wings sticking out of her back, she screams illegibly while making everything around explode. Everything except the bench which you and Akyu are sitting on.
"NOW YOU'VE REALLY CROSSED THE LINE!"
She screams, directing her piercing gaze at you.
"Haha!" and you only laugh at her show "Check her out! She's got wings!"
Standing up, you finally allow Akyu to lift her head off your lap and sit up on the bench. Well, it's been a long time since you last had a decent fight, but this could be fun. And, you can do whatever you wish to her as well, since... Well, she's immortal anyway, so you could do it anyway, even without those strange events...
"Naya..." silent voice behind you stop your march towards the raging inferno "Will... Will you be okay?"
You glance at Akyu's worried face and wink.
"Well, if I screw up," a loud 'cling!' marks the appearance of your knife's blade "You'll just have to kick my ass."
[end of scene]
>> No. 17758
>>17742
I liked this one a lot more.
>> No. 17884
>>17758

Well it has Mokou so yeah.
>> No. 17902
>>17884
Change your name to YMF. We needs this Mokou-tan.
>> No. 18144
File 122029076990.jpg - (243.35KB , 1024x768 , Dragonforce2.jpg ) [iqdb]
18144
Something I wrote while bored. I had originally planned to come up with my own song, but it turned out I am no poet. Anyways.

==

Five minutes - the voice says.

Five minutes. That's all the time you have. All the time before...

Five minutes. The last five minutes of your life.

Of your ordinary life.

Because after those five minutes, nothing will ever be the same.

The props around you only serve to strenghten your stage fright. This little dressing room someone set in a large tent, just behind the scene, and through these thin walls of fabric, you can hear them clearly. Hear the voices of hundreds, if not thousands. Thousands of people. Of various age. From youngest, to oldest, they all shout in unison. They yell in that loud prayer. The same word, over and over. One single word, that they keep shouting.

"...! ...! ...! ...!"

But it doesn't matter to you. For you, their request is of no importance. Their voices are just a mere nuisance in the air, a mosquito buzzing above, just something that one has to ignore, lest it can really get on his nerves. And so you make yourself not notice the noise in front of the scene, and focus...

Focus. Focus on the blue thing in your hands. The tool that has served you for many years. The weapon that you used to cut and smash your way through the life, through the legions of people who wanted to stop you, to make you fall and dissolve into mindless society, into the very same crowd chanting that one word right now, on the very edge of your hearing. The only friend that never left you, not even once, in all those years.
'
It's strings shine in the weak light of a lone lightbulb. Shine, telling you to grab them, and pluck strongly, to let out it's soul to sound in the afternoon air.
It's call reaches through the barrier of nervousness and hits straight into the very center of your heart. There is nothing you should fear. Nothing you should back away from. Nothing that can stop you. Nothing that should keep you in this cramped place.
Stand up.
Go outside.

"...ex! ...ex! ...ex!"

Now, very calm, you obey it's words. The light of spotlights around is almost like a caress for your skin. Your fingers pat your companion's strings, eager to start the show already.
The curtain is lowered.
You can feel the presence of three more people behind you. Nervous as well, but full of that specific courage people always have before something great. The same as you, four riders of apocalypse, and you are their commander. Drummer Dave, almost always drunk, the kind of man who jumps off a cliff just to see what's there in the mist far below. He spins around his sticks, ready to roll.

"... lex! ... lex! ... lex!"

Fen, bassist. Usually calm and collected, in situations that need it, irreplaceable brother in arms. Even now, faced with the shouts of thusands of people behind the curtain, he preserves his cool face. You envy him a bit. Then, last but not least, there's Dan, same as you, playing a guitar. The youngest and noisiest member of the group, he got you into trouble more than a few times in the past, but his skills make up for it entirely.
And finally, you - the heart and soul of the team. The vocalist of your humble band, the first one to throw an idea of forming one, and the first with enough courage to set everything in motion.
"Boys!" you turn around to face your colleagues "I could make a long speech about this one! I could tell you how much I love you!" It's hard to make your voice reach their ears through all the commotion. "But I won't! I'm going to say just this: this is our last time. SO LET'S ROCK! SU!"
You raise your fist high in the air, in a traditional gesture the four of you estabilished long time ago.
"PLEX!"

The curtain raises, causing the crowd behind to squeal in excitement. Countless, really overwhelming number of people, flashes, flags, signs... Blinding mixture of colours and shapes, all concentrated... All awaiting...

Your arrival.

"WELCOME Y'ALL!"
The first notes come out so naturally it's almost amazing. Following your lead, the others begin playing too, forming the tune so well known to all of you, the one you've spent so much time on, and played it so many times... In long-forgotten unsure times, when the future hid in grim shadows, in happy times, even that one time you had to sing it with tears in your eyes, it always carried you through life. The drums kick in, hinting what you've awaited so eagerly.
"On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light!
In flames of death's eternal reign we ride towards the fight!
And the darkness is falling down and the times are tough all right!
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight!"
The first lines find no obstacles on their way out from your heart, to your throat and mouth. And next second, there is nothing else. No chanting crowd. No spotlights. No flashes. No squealing fans. Nothing else, but you, your buddies, and...

The Great Music.

"Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel!
Through the wastelands evermore!
The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the shore!"
All works like in perfectly constructed clock. Drums, guitars, bass, they all cooperate, sing together with you, sound exactly when needed and keep silent when it's neccessary. Your voice, amplified by the microphone, coming out loud like an army of spartans, striking at the hearts of your fans. It's your moment. It's your heaven. This is what you live for! You're absolutely crazy about it!
"On the blackest plains in hells domain!
We watch them as they go!
Through fire and pain and once again we know!"
Dribbles of sweat run down your face like rivers of fate, and fall down onto the ragged surface of this stage, the sound they make, that tiny, weak noise they make when they hit the ground, drowned in the overwhelming music. And only you, out of all those people, only you can hear their encouraging cries. This is the peak of existence, this is what all men strive for! Tonight is the night, and the heavens shall tremble under the power of your song!
"Tonight we fly ever free!
We're free before the thunderstorm!
On towards the wilderness our quest carries on!
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight!
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls!"
Scream, guitar! Cry out loud, drums! And you, little vocalist, strain your throat as much as possible! Let your howl carry far, to the farthest of fields, to the place, out there, somewhere, where you belong! Let it carry far, and fly over the insignificiant crowd! Let it raise up high, then fall down like a rain of blades! Rush, charge, strike, fall! Tonight you'll make the angels scream and the devils cry!
"So far away we wait for the day!
For the light source so wasted and gone!
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days!"
A thousand cries in an empty battlefield, a chant of your personal army, a legion of soldiers, ready to attack at your command! Squeal, people! Make us hear what you think! The world will burn tonight! And...

"THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES WE CARRY ON!"

Your fingers rip the very fabric of reality on the following notes, your buddies follow suit, their instruments howling like bloodlust animals, begging for more, more, and EVEN MORE! Burn, world! Shatter, reality! Come forth, demons, and devour this stage! Come forth, black hole, and swallow the singer!

And swallow...
>> No. 18145
Suddenly, there is nothing. The ball of darkness that seemed to be just a creation of your rapturous mind, it suddenly grew larger, in perfect symbioze with the rhythm your guitar played and... following your wish...

It swallowed.

All of you.

At once.




Gentle voice brings you back from this dark void, back into painful embrace of reality.
"That's what you get for ripping the Border."
It's words make no sense, but the sheer beauty of the face hovering above yours is enough to make your mind return completely to it's normal processing power. The long hair that girl - undoubtedly a girl - possesses creates a nice tent-like edifice around your sight. There is only her malicious grin that you can see right now.

"To your personal hell." she speaks with voice that could pierce the heavens with it's load of emotions "I'd like to welcome you."
>> No. 18154
That was nice. Weird but nice. That's what you do best YAF; writing what you want to write.

>symbioze

But do you just make up words when you can't seem to think of any that fit?
>> No. 18160
>>18154

No, it seems my headdictionary was wrong. The proper word is 'symbiosis', my bad. It's hard sometimes, without access to a normal dictionary.
>> No. 18456
>>18160

http://dictionary.reference.com/