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45438 No. 45438
"... I don't see any reason not to." You admit.

It's very good tea, after all, and a maid seems to almost glide over with silent footfalls to pour a new round before retreating.

"... In addition. I'm not sure I know the proper way of saying something like this, but keeping in mind the last game... can you run in that, if it comes down to it?"

Rebecca blinks, as though the thought hadn't even occurred to her, and then glances down curiously at her heavy, ankle-length dress.

"... You know, I suppose I can't?" She admits. "Goodness, I hadn't thought of that for a moment."

"I wouldn't say something like 'you have to change before we go', but really..."

"Yes, yes. I'll have to wear something more suitable, of course. Are you sure this isn't your little way of convincing me to wear less, though?" She teases.

Her husband grunts in annoyance, thankfully enough, and you manage to get control of your tongue before you say anything that you can't un say.

"... I'd be a liar if I claimed the idea didn't have appeal. But it's entirely beside the point." You say, carefully choosing your words in a desperate attempt to keep from offending anyone in the room, and at the same time not trap yourself in lies.

"Yes, yes. I'll only be a moment." She says, finishing her cup and rising, to be flanked by a pair of maids as she carefully leaves the room.

Silence lingers in the room for a few minutes, only to be broken when Edward speaks.

"Mind, boy. My wife comes to serious harm? I'll be holding you personally responsible for failing to prevent it." He says, tone carefully conversational, and yet somehow carrying an undertone of 'Public flogging and the stocks, just for a start'. "You understand?"

"I... think I do, yes." You say, grimly.

"I don't think you really know how to use that gun. We have all kinds of resources on tap. She decides to drag you along, instead of any of them." He grumbles. "Personally responsible. Just you keep that in mind."

"I certainly will?" You say, a feeling of doom seeming to settle in your spine. He nods, though, and then simply eases back into his seat to enjoy his bourbon, with a drop or two of tea floating on it.

When Rebecca returns, it's in thigh-high boots that you don't doubt cost a small fortune, and a much smaller dress that ends slightly above where the boots do, accessorized with a subtle belt. The effect of the ensemble is not so much that it 'guides' your eyes towards the thin strip of exposed skin, but that it physically forces them into position. You all but have to wrench your head around to return your gaze to her face, where a sly smile is waiting.

"Shall we?" She asks, as Duncan places a small box in an otherwise empty sack.

"We can leave immediately." He says, addressing you both.

Well then. Alright. No time like the present.

There's some difficulty coaxing Hatate into leaving your presence, even with assurances that Ancelin and Chen are, if anything, more capable of keeping her safe than you are. But eventually, the car pulls away to deliver them back home, and you both turn, inspecting the small, nondescript building before heading to the front door.

It's been left open for you, but it only takes a few steps before it swings ominously shut.

Everything goes a uniform purply-black.

---

When you regain consciousness, you find that your clothes have changed. Where you were wearing suitable business wear, but with some level of a casual air, you are now in a suit.

You are now, in fact, in a very expensive feeling, purple suit. Inspection of such reveals that your hands, rather than their normal coloration, are a chalky white. There's a pistol or two concealed on your person, but neither of them seem to be the pistol. That could be a problem, you worry for a moment, before returning to coloration.

The skin tone seems to extend everywhere you can discreetly check, and doesn't seem to be any sort of face or body paint either. A quick glance upwards, and then a tugging of hair, reveals that it's now green.

There's a stirring around you, as it seems the rest of the contestants are becoming aware of differences. It's like a halloween party in here. There's a scarecrow, a very greenly dressed person in a bowler cap and domino mask, polka-dotted, sort of, with purple question marks, there's a lady dressed entirely in leaves, and a... man shaped crocodile half again as tall as you are, and several other...

Rebecca seems to be right by you still. Only she's now decked out as some manner of latex-fetish court jester. You have to very carefully not look in her direction for a few seconds and think of something else, as she makes a surprised noise and tries to stretch in the outfit, getting a surprising degree of mobility, but...

Now that you think of it, it doesn't seem like you're injured any more, either. You wonder whether or not that'll last, after the game ends, one way or another.

"Welcome. This is a simulated city, but great detail has gone into ensuring that matters remain true as possible to... the source material, as it were. And ladies and gentlemen, the game has begun. Some of you have played before, others are new." One of the Queen's people says, standing in a spotlight. "In either case, the game plays by different rules than the last. There is, on this occasion, no entry fee to be paid. This is because, in all likelihood, none of you will gain anything from this venture. There is one prize, only, and only one contestant... in the case of those who were offered the opportunity to bring a guest, and accepted, one team... may win."

He waves a hand theatrically.

"The game, as it is, is Grand.... Theft." He explains, trying to sound imposing, but accidentally sneezing before finishing the sentence. He rubs his nose quickly, glower, and hurries on in an attempt to pretend that no such thing just occured.

"You must secure two keys, open a safe, and escape with its contents. This will not prove to be a simple task. One key is currently located in the desk drawer of this city's police commisioner. The other is concealed in the office of the man in charge of the local insane asylum. The safe, itself, is located within the manor of the richest man in the city."

Something is nagging at you about everything. It's weirdly familiar, like something... a picture you once saw, in passing, but can't quite recall?

"Naturally, it will be difficult enough to collect both keys and open the safe. However, it is the person... or team. Who escapes with its contents, who is counted the victor. As only one contestant or team can be counted victorious, it would be wise to, from this point, consider every other contestant to be, at best, an obstacle... and more likely, an enemy. For those who fail, the consolation prize is a new outfit, courtesy of the Queen. This will, of course, also be an additional prize in the unlikely case that victory is attained."

It was in a comic book.

Frank likes to pretend he was never into 'that nerdy junk', but you've read more than a few of his superhero comic books back in the day.

None about this one in particular, but it was mentioned in passing once or twice, and you are in a god damn comic book, how are you supposed to plan for something like this.

"However, we cannot simply have you enter a grand melee right away. As such, this room, in this building, is neutral ground and sacrosanct, and upon initially leaving, there will be a ten minute span of time in which turning on another competitor will result in your immediate disqualification, and being turned upon will result in the disqualification of the aggressor. I advise, however, that you do not wait too long. That said... the game has begun. Do have... fun."

The man says the last word like he's reading from a script, and isn't entirely certain what the word means, but it's there and so he'll damned well say it anyway.

---

[ ] What do you do?

Yes, update speed will almost certainly be orders of magnitude shorter than last time, unfortunately.

>> No. 45441
Holy...

[x] Get your bearings. There's no need to rush out. You can always let others do the hard work and steal the keys from them.
[x] Talk with Rebecca
-[x] How is she in this?
-[x] Ask her if she has any weapon on her.
-[x] How does she feel about this Game? Most likely, you will both have to do... unsavory things to win.
[x] Once both you and Rebecca are ready, step out. First, you need a vehicule.
[x] Most likely, police forces and comic book heroes will be after you once things get going. Be discreet.
>> No. 45444
Holy shit, John is the motherfucking BATMAN JOKER! I say we get in character and have as much fun as possible with this.

[x] See if you can recognize any of the other participants.
[x] Get closer to the man and try to ask him, privatly, if people die for real if they are killed in this game, unlike the last game where people woke up perfectly fine but with no memories.
[x] Talk with Rebecca
-[x] How is she in this? Don't forget to compliment her new look.
-[x] Ask her if she has anything on her.
-[x] How does she feel about this Game? Most likely, you will both have to do... unsavory things to win.
--[x] Or maybe fun things~
[x] Once both you and Rebecca are ready, step out. First, you need a vehicle.
-[x] Check your belongings, when out of other's view.
[x] Most likely, police forces and comic book heroes might be after you once things get going. Be discreet.
>> No. 45445
>>45444
Use some deduction. There's no entry fee and we get costume as consolation prize if we lose. So it's not permanent death again of course.

>[x] Or maybe fun things~

I would have imagined the threat from husband and staff would be enough to keep your libido in check. Anyway, this is not the time for that dammit.
>> No. 45447
>>45445
>Use some deduction. There's no entry fee and we get costume as consolation prize if we lose. So it's not permanent death again of course.

Ah, right. I need to pay more attention to things.

>[x] Or maybe fun things~
>I would have imagined the threat from husband and staff would be enough to keep your libido in check. Anyway, this is not the time for that dammit.

Uh, not talking about any libido related matters. Meant the possible interaction with the other participants; you know, stealing, robbing, poiting a gun to their head and maybe actually pulling the trigger. Acting like a villain, in other words.

Anyway, I'm changing the second line of my vote in >>45444 for:
[x] Ask the man if you will receive your stuff back at the end of the game.

Because, fuck, if the pistol is lost forever...
>> No. 45448
>>45447
Again, no entry fee. That means they will most probably be returned at the end.
>> No. 45449
haha, oh WOW
damn it yukari
>> No. 45452
[x] Give the Voice free reign. For everything.

Because, you know, damn if this isn't the time to do so.
>> No. 45453
>>45448

I don't see the relation between one thing and the other.
>> No. 45454
[x]Look around and try to get a full mental list of the other characters participating, guessing and imitating the other contestants' quirks may throw potential pursuers off track.
[x]Once away from the crowd, talk to Rebecca; see what her thoughts on the situation are, inventory check, etc.
[x]First step is to secure plain clothes, and if possible some makeup and some way of covering your hair. A couple of trench coats and a hat would probably work fine for the short run.
>> No. 45455
>>45453
I imagine that he means that, if your stuff is lost, it could be considered an entry fee in and of itself.
>> No. 45456
[x] Talk with Rebecca
-[x] How is she in this?
-[x] Ask her if she has any weapon on her.
[x] Head to the police station, try to find a vehicle if possible.
[x] Most likely, police forces and comic book heroes will be after you once things get going. Be discreet.

I'm a little worried about people turning into their supervillains. Maybe already being possessed will stop John from turning into Joker, and I guess Rebecca turning into Harley won't affect us negatively.

I wonder if we'll be able to recruit henchmen.
>> No. 45457
>>45456
Dunno for you, but if we want to win, getting a key first will just make us a target for everyone else.

Depending on what we have, it would be better to just ambush the key holders. Bit if we have access to everything the Jokey have (SmileX, henchman...), then we could afford to breach the places ourselves.

However, the louder we are, the bigger a target we are to heroes and police forces.
>> No. 45458
It's a shame Rebecca didn't get Catwomen. That would have given her all kinds of leeway.
>> No. 45460
>>45458

It's better she's Harley. They're a better couple, in some many ways~

Just a shame John and Rebecca aren't familiar with the Batman universe.
>> No. 45463
>>45457
go big or go home
>> No. 45466
Priorities... Well, step one is probably getting organised. Even with zero knowledge of this comic book, it´s a pretty safe bet that there will be some sort of superhero after us since we look like an insane clown and will most likely be engaging in criminal acts as part of this game. Finding some form of transport to use would be a major plus since by the sound of it we´ll have to run all over town unless you go and lie in wait near the safe. And since it is highly doubtful that we´re the only one with that idea, the areas around the safe and keys can probably be assumed combat zones. Step one is definitely gathering information; we need to know what's going on, where our objectives are and what will be the likely obstacles aside from other contestants.

Step two: Have fun. We are dressed like an insane clown and we're effectively in a comic book. There is also notably very little at stake here if we lose, so even if we don't win we might as well have fun in the process. Again, we're not familiar with the source material but for any given comic book setting hamming it up is probably a safe bet. The Demon Queen would probably approve, too. Still, showing a bit of moral fiber would probably be for the best so try not to kill people unless there's no other option.

Step three: react. We're not genius planners, and while we're most likely better than some, it is highly likely that at least one other person here will have a much better plan than us. Our overall tactic should therefore focus on reacting to circumstances as they unfold and, combined with step 2, on doing the unpredictable because it's fun and it'll throw other people off.
>> No. 45468
[x] Examine other participants.
[x] See if you've got a new thing in your head.
-[x] And try and get Voice to check in. His advice will probably be useful.
[x] Do you have any supervillain knowledge?
[x] Try to piss other people off so they'll be disqualified when they snap.
-[x] And likewise, don't fall for this gambit by others.
[x] Planning:
-[x] Somebody's covered in ivy. You'll want to steal some heavy duty weed killer.
-[x]First step is to secure plain clothes, and if possible some makeup and some way of covering your hair. A couple of trench coats, a hat, and some non-purple shoes and gloves would probably work fine for the short run.
--[x] And the best thing is you don't have to pay for them!
-[x] Then you'll need a map. And to know where important things are on the map.

Asking if we'll get our stuff back won't change anything either way and is thus a waste of time.
>> No. 45471
[x] Examine other the other participants.
[x] Talk with Rebecca
-[x] How is she in this?
-[x Don't forget to compliment her new look.
-[x] Ask her if she has anything on her.
-[x] How does she feel about this Game?
[x] Once both you and Rebecca are ready, step out. First, you need a vehicle.
-[x] Check your belongings, when out of other's view.
[x] Head to the closest location with the keys, if know where they are/have a map/whatever. Otherwise, ask for directions!

I'm going to enjoy this. Can we listen to the voice and act all villanous now?
>> No. 45472
[x] Don't bother asking the man anything.
[x] Examine other participants.
[x] See if you've got a new thing in your head.
-[x] And try and get Voice to check in. His advice will probably be useful.
[x] Do you have any supervillain knowledge?
[x]Don't fall for anyone trying to piss you off.
[x] Planning:
-[x] First off, you need a vehicle and a map.
-[x]If you happen to pass a clothing store, you'll want to secure plain clothes, and if possible some makeup and some way of covering your hair. A couple of trench coats, a hat, and some non-purple shoes and gloves would probably work fine for the short run.
--[x] And the best thing is you don't have to pay for them!
-[x] Somebody's covered in ivy. You'll want to steal some heavy duty weed killer.

I think our best plan is to snatch a key. With one in our posession, we cannot lose except by having it stolen or forcibly taken from us. Harley used to work at Arkham, so we might be best off going for the Arkham key.

Another option is to spend all our time preparing for our enemies and securing the safe, which might actually work unless the richest man happens to be named Wayne.
>> No. 45473
File 134031068079.jpg - (24.86KB , 240x480 , Evening Friend.jpg ) [iqdb]
45473
You take a quick moment to glance around the room.

Aside from you and Rebecca, the pair of clowns it seems you are, there are ten other people present. You already mentally noted the scarecrow, mister purple question mark, leaves, and the gator man. The rest are....

There's a pale man. Not as pale as your chalk white skin, but still notable. Not nearly so much, however, as the fact that he has no nose, lips, and you think he might be missing fingers.

You're kind of glad you didn't get pulled for that one, however the Queen decided these things. You can't help but suspect she pulled names out of hats.

There's a thin fellow, you're hard pressed to pick up any distinguishing features that are out of the ordinary until he moves his arm, and you catch sight of some scars. They look like... tally marks? Then his clothes shift, and they're hidden again.

There's a man who... all you can say for sure is that he's dressed as a green bug? Yellow features somewhat, but the wings on the suit are very much like some sort of insect.

Another man strikes you as very old, somehow, older even than he appears. But snappily dressed.

The next two are a pair of morbidly obese bald men. They seem to be sticking close together... did they enter as a team, one of them the guest of the other?

The next man is dressed in a concealing red outfit. Kind of like monk robes, maybe something like a raincoat?

Another is a woman with short hair, who bears some resemblance to the old, snappily dressed man, somehow.

The next man has long, wavy hair, and is dressed in such a way that it looks like he just walked off the stage of some shakesperean play, or out of a historical re-enactment. There's a thin sword belted at his side.

The last contestant is dressed in something like a spider-man body suit. You can't make out any real details beneath it, aside from the fact that it is skin tight and he is in very good shape.

External checks done, you look more inward, trying to figure out whether or not there's anyone extra inside your head this is stupid and you're stupid for trying to do this sort of thing.

Well.

Ruder than usual, but it doesn't look like there's anyone in your head that isn't supposed to b-he isn't supposed to be there either.

But no. You're alone, the two of you, in your own head. Which is a good thing. Probably.

Even so, you know things, now you've stopped to think of them. You know that you have more than one type of gun. Real ones, the ones that fire and extend a little flag with 'Bang' written on them... and the ones that do that but, if you fire again, launch the flag like a little spear. And the fun ones, that don't fire bullets, but easily breakable pellets of your special Laughing Gas.

Oh blech, that is a horrible invention, how did you even make that chemical in the first place? You can't remember. And more importantly, you didn't. Line blurring slightly. You remember, sort of, being... the Joker? Vaguely. Dimly. Not well. Just an impression, you guess, of what the man is like in the Source Material.

You remember that you have a hideout nearby. You recall that you have a dozen Henches there, you don't bother recalling their names ever, except for a trio that look similar enough to a comedy routine that you never learned their real names either, but habitually call them Larry, Curly, and Moe, and... stuff, it's foggy. You remember that it's Tuesday, and so the Henches are going to be on high alert, just in case you look a little more trigger-happy than usual. You remember that you have no idea which ones the guns you're carrying are.

You don't keep track of which is which. You keep them all in a pile, and grab two or three as needed. Half the fun is not knowing what, exactly, might happen if you pull the trigger.

You remember...

You remember the bat.

You remember the god damn bat, looming up out of nowhere, always there when you least need him, always ready to introduce his fist to your kidneys, always managing to figure everything out in time, always managing to escape the most perfect, most hilarious, death traps with insufferable ease, it's so, that bat, so infuriating!

... You have to take a slow, deep breath, to cool yourself down.

Alone in your head, sort of, but there's still been some kind of tampering. You hope that stays behind when you go.

But the voice in your head will probably be useful.

... You can not believe you just thought that, perfectly seriously, even if you didn't say it out loud. No, it doesn't matter. You remember.. remember.

You remember the sort of noises Harley makes when you're in a less casually murderous mood, and you-this is hardly relevant information.

You remember there's a joy-buzzer, one of your special ones, hidden up your sleeve, though. You hadn't even noticed that. You also remember that it's a killer of a jape, starts off with a blast and keeps getting more intense the longer you hold.

Unless someone's other fist comes up in the meantime and clocks you right in the schnozz. God Damned Bat.

You can't make anything else show up, no matter how you think.

Disguise. Car. There should be a fabulous Clownmobile, a limousine painted purple, at the Haha... No. No you aren't using that name, that's outright stupidly hammy. At the hideout. But you think it's a bit off. You'll have to either get there on foot, or pick one up on the way. Weed killer, in case leaves ends up being a problem. Lots of things you'll have to steal.

... You didn't think for a moment of buying them.

Could you buy them, even? You think you have a wallet. The wallet feels fat. Just walk up to a counter and casually pay for a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, some cheese and milk, people trying to figure out whether or not they should already be screaming and running for the exit, that would be hilarious, ahahaha.....

You shake off the oddly powerful urge to laugh at the thought.

"You have anything on you? Aside from fetish gear, my dear?" You drawl, trying and failing to keep your voice casual and even.

"I think I might have one or two things, Mister J." Rebecca replies, then pauses to frown. "... How odd. I suppose it makes sense, given that your name is-"

"Might be better not to use it. Just in case we win, or in case someone ends up with a grudge to hold over anything that might go on." You say, forcing control over your voice again.

"Well, yes. Incognito, and all. A J, because..."

"Joker. You're... Harley something?" You say, uncertainly.

"... Quinn." She says after a moment, and smiles. "Ah. An amusing little pun, I see... and I'm your mistress?"

"I... something... like that, maybe?" You say, not entirely sure. Dim, floaty memories pass by your eyes. "... I think I've tried to kill you a few times? Maybe more than a few. And not... you, you, or me, but-"

"Yes, I think I had gathered that much... you're not terribly good at it. I think. Well, not in general it seems that you're somewhat fantastic at that, but in specific... I think you've regularly failed to kill people you specifically wanted dead?"

"That... might be." You say, finding that your teeth are suddenly grit at this failure being called to light.

Crocodile Man and the old guy have already left, the Obesity twins look like they're working out how to fit their unexpectedly ponderous bulk through a normal sized door....

"You might try grease you know, slippery yourselves right up." You say, before you can keep your tongue in check. "I think lard might work out, if it weren't that the problem is that you have too much? Hahahaha~"

There's a glower sent your way, but it might be that your face doesn't quite match up to your words and laughter because after a grunt of disgust, they go back to getting out.

You didn't mean to say that. Much. Well, you sort of did, and while it's a bit mean to poke at sore spots, it's hard to miss a target like that...

You close your eyes and patiently count to ten.

"... Are you going to be okay." You say, once you open them again. "I mean, with this. We'll probably have to... well, the game is theft, after all, so it's likely that we'll have to do unpleasant things."

"Oh, I shouldn't worry about that, Mister J." Rebecca replies cheerily. "Didn't he say that this was a 'simulated' city? It's not as though it was a real place, with real people, then. Why, I think it would be something very like a video game."

That... you guess that's true. Looking for that guy.. oh. He's gone. You don't know when he left, but now that you think, you haven't seen him since right after his speech-y explanation of things...

The Blubbertwins have managed to make their way out, so it's about time for you to go as well. There are, unfortunately, no cars sitting parked on the side of the road, either there never were, or swifter contestants have gotten there first.

No matter.

You step up to the curb, and expectantly raise a thumb as a taxi passes. The driver pretends not to have seen you, and not only does not slow down or stop, he picks up speed and barrels past at at least twenty miles per hour faster than he started down this road.

This is less than pleasing.

The next car, you step out in front of, without hesitation or thought, confident in the knowledge that of course this will work, why wouldn't it?

The car screeches to a halt, barely stopping before the fender touches your suit pants. The young man at the steering wheel is furious.

"What the hell do you think you're doing you... crazy..." He says, stepping out of the car, only to pause mid motion, speech slackening to a halt as he realizes several very important details about the situation. Wordless, he tries to rapidly get back into his seat and inside, only for Rebecca to put a careful hand on the back of his neck.

He freezes, eyes very much like those of a deer caught in the headlights of a semi truck barreling down the highway at significantly higher than the speed limit.

There's several ways this can go.

Remarkably, it seems like they're all easy. The only notable difference, in general, is how this angry young man comes out of things.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 45475
[x] Let the kid go. Look at his ID first and and warn him nobody likes a snitch, though.
[x] Head to the hideout.

I don't really care what we do we do with the kid, but if we kill him in a way that leaves specific marks like the grinning of smilex or the palm burns of the joy buzzer, we should bring his corpse back to the hideout so it can be tossed into the wood chipper.

Regarding plans, perhaps we could set six or so of our henchmen to procuring items of use against our foes while we take the rest to Arkham for the key?
>> No. 45476
[x] "So kid, I'm a bit lost. Would you have a map to the police station, or maybe the asylum?"
-[x] Take whatever he has that seems useful, and go to the hideout.

I only know four of these villains, damn. Holefully someone here knows his Batman lore well.
>> No. 45477
>>45476
>Holefully

Hopefully, you meant to say hopefully.

[x] Let the kid go. Look at his ID first and and warn him nobody likes a snitch, though.
[x] If you don't remember where the three locations are, ask for directions for the police station and just how hilarious would it be if a villain went to face the police like that?
[x] Head to the hideout.
>> No. 45478
[x] Let the kid go. Look at his ID first and and warn him nobody likes a snitch, though.
[x] Head to the hideout.

Turns out already being possessed makes this whole thing a lot worse. John will probably be okay unless he runs into Batman, which I guess goes without saying.

Still, best not to do anything too dastardly, if we can help it. Joker will probably break through and gas people for laughs regardless of what we do to keep together.
>> No. 45479
Oh dear gods we're playing the Joker stealing a safe from Batman.

It's official, we're Yukari's favorite. This is not a good thing.

Well, we should probably find out which gun is which ahead of time...
>> No. 45480
So, of the villians I can tell, in order we're up against Scarecrow, the Riddler, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Zsasz, Ra's Al Ghul, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, and Nyssa Raatko (Short-haired daughter of Ra's Al Ghul). Plus Batman and possibly also the boy wonder, of course.

I have little to no idea about the finger guy, bug guy, red guy, sword guy, and suit guy. If I had to make a guess, I might say the red guy is Anarky and the suit guy is Black Spider, but it's difficult to say without more description. Anybody able to figure them out?
>> No. 45482
Well... I may have a plan. Interested in hearing?

As things are, we'll have to hit one place and hit whoever will get the key to the other place. So we send guys to the police station to just watch to know who ahs the key and go hit the asylum in person. Why the asylum? To get everyone out while we're there and create a monster of a distraction for the police.

Then we go hit the other who has the key, then hope Wayne is out while we got get his safe and that no one else try to jump us. Then again, I have no doubt someone will just wait for a contestant with both keys to show up.
>> No. 45484
[x] "So kid, I'm a bit lost. Would you have a map to the police station, or maybe the asylum?"
[x] Let the kid go. Look at his ID first and and warn him nobody likes a snitch, though.
[x] Head to the hideout.

The banter is one of the most important parts of staying in character here.
>> No. 45485
So, as far as I can tell, we're up against Scarecrow, the Riddler, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, the Great White Shark, Zsasz, Ra's Al Ghul, Tweedledum and Tweedledee, the Monk, and Nyssa Raatko (short-haired daughter of Ra's Al Ghul). Plus Batman and possibly also the boy wonder, of course.

I have little to no idea about the bug guy, sword guy, and suit guy. If I had to make a guess, I might say the suit guy is Black Spider, but it's difficult to say without more description. Anybody able to figure them out?

This post will probably get deleted and reposted as I figure out more villains.
>> No. 45486
>>45482

We should go to the asylum first and ask for a consult, or something. I think there won't be much difficulty for the Joker to enter the place.
>> No. 45487
>>45482
That seems like a good plan, but we probably only need to send one, maybe two guys to watch the police station. The rest would probably be better sent to get stuff to deal with other people's powers and abilities.

Asking where the police station and asylum are betrays our interest in them. We shouldn't mention them unless we have no knowledge of the city's layout.

if the following could be added to my vote (>>45475), I'd be grateful.

[x] If you don't already know the layout of the city, mention you're thinking of turning yourself in and ask where the police station and asylum is.

>>45476
I'm here for ya.
>> No. 45488
[x] "So kid, I'm a bit lost. Would you have a map to the police station, or maybe the asylum?"
[x] Spray some gas on him.
[x] Head to the hideout.

Tell him the Joker thinks of turning himself in, and the boy will spread the word faster than I'd tap Rebecca's ass. Better just get rid of him.
>> No. 45489
>>45485
The bug guy is probably a minor, minor villain known as the Moth. A google seach brings up the incorrectly colored Killer Moth, so here's pretty much the only link: http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Moth_(Earth-One).

[x] If you don't already know the layout of the city, mention you're thinking of turning yourself in and ask where the police station and asylum is.
[x] Let the kid go. Look at his ID first and and warn him nobody likes a snitch, though.
[x] Head to the hideout.

Among other things, we should pick up our fake hands. They'll be lifesavers if we end up getting caught.
>> No. 45490
>>45488
It's pretty obviously a joke, and would be accompanied by laughter, man. Just another instance of the Joker being crazy.

By the way, are you suggesting we just leave the insanely grinning body lying on the street, where anybat can see it and deduce we're on the move, dramatically muttering "Joker" as he examines the smile? I've got nothing against gassing the guy, but we should bring him back to the hideout to be disposed of if we do.
>> No. 45491
Batman better be an adult version of Remilia, or else I will be mad.
>> No. 45492
Plan-maker here (>>45482)

I just got good advice on the current plan: We DO NOT hit the asylum BEFORE someone hit the police station. Else Batman may focus on us first and we do not want that.

Considering the station is probably way closer than the asylum, chances are that someone will hit it by the time we reach the asylum, but we really can't be the focus of the Bat first.
>> No. 45493
>>45491

Either that or other contestants tasked with apprehending as many supervillains as they can.
>> No. 45507
Going back to the hideout is a bad idea. It's the most predictable thing we can possibly do right now, and would be the ideal place for a trap to get rid of John early.
>> No. 45509
>>45507
Hmm, yeah. A trap laid by the absolutely nobody who knows where our hideout is because it's our hideout.

How fiendish.
>> No. 45539
I wonder. Batman has a plan for everything that can happen. Does that mean that he has a plan again a sane (if we can) Joker?
>> No. 45571
File 134064086470.jpg - (19.69KB , 336x434 , How ya doing kid.jpg ) [iqdb]
45571
"So, kid! Great day we're having. Lovely weather. Be a pal and step out of the car."

"I don't..." He stammers, eyes hunted and darting in every direction.

"Harl?" You say, before your mind has caught up to your tongue. Rebecca doesn't miss a beat, though, and heaves him out to sprawl across the pavement. You're not sure she should have been able to do that. Harley would have been, though. You guess that's all that matters.

"See, I've got a joke to tell you." You continue, and he flinches, visibly weighing his odds of getting away if he made a break for it. "I think you'll like it! Y'see, kid, it goes like this. Young guy goes for a drive one day. And then the Joker steals his car and wallet, leaving him stuck walking home."

"That's not... a very funny joke?" He says, slowly, with the air of a man who's just beginning to realize that he's got, at best, a few more minutes to live.

"HAHA! Maybe not. But I never promised you a winner, did I? I'm having a bit of an off day. Of course, if you insist, then I'm sure I could find some way to make you laugh."

"Please don't..." He says, hoarsely.

You hold out a hand, and after a moment he places his wallet in it, with fumbling, seemingly nerveless fingers. You toss it in the back seat of the car and heave yourself in, leaving him shivering and hyperventilating just a bit on the sidewalk.

You're several blocks down, going slightly under the speed limit since you don't want to be pulled over in a stolen car and have to kill who knows how many police officers over it just yet, before you realize that you don't know how to drive.

Didn't, anyway. It wasn't exactly a widely required skill, in the City. There are those whose jobs require it, delivery people and the like, and those who just make a point out of driving, or can afford to show off that they can afford vehicle maintenance and regular refueling, but in general, if you have to go somewhere in the city, your first option, most usually chosen, is just to walk.

But the Joker knows how to drive.

You go a little numb as you think of all the ways this could go wrong, realizing that you're using this machine through, basically, the muscle memory of muscles that do not, technically, belong to you...

It seems to be working out fine, though. You haven't crashed. Yet.

You should really stop thinking about it, though. Maybe it will keep working, just so long as you don't draw the universe's attention to the fact that it shouldn't be.

In any case, you're close to the hideout now, and you need to think. Arkham and the police station... you seem to know where those are. Arkham, you seem to know in more personal detail than the other, though it's still really foggy. It's on an island, a little out, and it's built like a god damn fortress.

Getting in won't be a huge problem. You can go check yourself in, and the workers will no doubt be ecstatic to get you in a comfortable straitjacket again. It's the exit strategy that's going to be a bit more tricky. They might be more wary about letting you get into the janitor closet, after the last time, and you seem to recall there being multi-week periods right when you get in where every guard is on high alert, and there almost always seems to be one or more guns subtly trained on you, just hoping you'll try to escape and give them an excuse to panic and have their pay docked, in exchange for a more visceral reward.

You'll have to think really hard about things, but you also have a plan for the policeman.

And you realize, thoughtfully, that you do. Or he does, anyway, and he's sharing it. And it's hilarious, though you might only like it because the Joker would like it, but... it's bold. Definitely a little crazy and it sets you up with not only the first key, if nobody else has it yet, but also a strong bluff and alibi that might be suspected, but that nobody should be able to tell right off isn't legitimate...

You'll need a couple of the henches, especially if you have Rebecca doing anything else, and you're not sure you're willing to put enough trust in that you'll run with the plan of the voice in your head, of course. Especially since it's being vague about the details, and you suspect a lot of it will be made up on the spot.

Well, it's that or work out something to get in and out of Arkham with, or figure out who has the money in this town. Not exactly a whole lot of options to work with.

You shut off the motor, parked right beside the hideout.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 45573
[x] Enter the hideout, of course.
[x] Listen to what the voice has to say.
[x] Pick your guns carefully, if you can identify which is which. At least two real guns and two guns with the killer flags should suffice.

The asylum is on an island? Well, damn.
>> No. 45576
[x] Enter the hideout, of course.
[x] Listen to what the voice has to say. You don't have a better plan.
-[x] Remind the voice that plans are always the first thing to fall. Does it have alternatives, just in case of surprises like the Bat?
[x] Pick your guns carefully, if you can identify which is which. At least two real guns and two guns with the killer flags should suffice.
[x] Make sure to send one or two guys to watch the police station and that they can contact you when needed. Someone will surely hit the place while you're in the asylum.

Well, I'm a bit wary that Kahi gives us a way to get the first key like that. But how the hell are we supposed to attack a heavily-guarded place made to contain super vilains filled with guards that would love nothing else than kill us on sight then?
>> No. 45577
>>45576

Because not only has the Joker escaped from the place on a regular basis, but has been shown to be perfectly capable of takeing it over?

We're the god damn Joker. Short of Batman showing up, we have the biggest chance of winning this thing.

Of course, seeing as the place we need to get the keys to is in the manor of Bruce Wane, a.k.a. Batman, that may happen.
>> No. 45579
>>45577
So what if we combine John's knowledge with Joker's ways and knowledge?

I mean, the Joker by himself wouldn't think much about it... I think. But we do know that, say, taking Alfred hostage will seriously screw with Batman.
>> No. 45582
>>45581
The problem is that Joker really only recall three names for his minions. So he can't really assign names to tasks beyond those three.
>> No. 45586
>>45582
Looking at it again, you're right. I dunno where I got the idea that the Joker just called them random names. Especially since it pretty clearly states he only remembers fake names for three of them.

>>45579
That could be a plan, but Alfred has been shown to be pretty skilled in combat. Likely not a match for the Joker one-on-one, but definitely enough to prove a fatal distraction in a standoff with Batman if he's being held in the classic 'gun-to-head' position. It might work, but we'd need to tie him up as thoroughly as possible. Actually, no. We'd need to search him for sharp objects and then tie him up as thoroughly as possible.
>> No. 45587
[x] Enter the hideout, of course.
[x] Listen to what the voice has to say. You don't have a better plan.
-[x] What happens if something goes wrong?
[x] Pick your guns carefully, if you can identify which is which. At least two real guns, and one gas pistol should suffice. Unless you have room for more.
[x] Examine other weapons and tools.
[x] Have two henchmen head out and keep an eye on police station and asylum. Make sure that they can contact you when needed.
-[x] Have a henchman look into who has the money.
[x] Whatever vote for having henchmen steal stuff has the most votes.

It's possible someone else will beat us to wherever we choose, so we should get watchers out ASAP. We also should have some leftover henchmen, so they should be out getting stuff.

In terms of needed items, we'll definitely need weed killer, or possibly heavy-duty defoliant. If we go for weed killer, we should pick up some fertilizer while we're at the gardening store.
Scarecrow's gas can be neutralized by scuba gear, so at least fourteen sets of that. Maybe more, to mask our true numbers from the Bat.
Presumably we're good on conventional things like body armor and weapons.

Regarding pistols, the gas pistol is much better than the flag one, especially if the latter only has one shot.
>> No. 45588
[x] Enter the hideout, of course.
[x] Listen to what the voice has to say. You don't have a better plan.
-[x] Remember that plans are always the first thing to fail. Do we have alternatives, just in case of surprises like the Bat?
[x] Pick your guns carefully, if you can identify which is which. At least one real gun and one gun with the killer flags should suffice. Grab one more at random, to make it fun.
[x] Make sure to send one or two guys to watch the asylum or the police station, whichever you don't go to, and that they can contact you when needed. Someone will surely hit one while you're in the other.

Altered slightly for more fun, and to accomodate multiple plans.
>> No. 45589
>>45586
Still, between saving Alfred and going after us, he'll definitely save Alfred first. So we just need to prepare some sort of timed execution for him.

We don't need him to actually die, we just need him to shake off Batman. Hell, it doesn't even have to be Alfred either. Just something to force Batman between stopping us or saving lives.
>> No. 45590
>>45589
Ahh, you meant putting him into a deathtrap. Even better. Though again, we'll need to search him and tie him up to keep him fom escaping.

On another subject, why are people picking the flag-gun? The gas pistol is much stronger, and the flag-gun probably only has one shot.

I also think it's better to send people to both locations, in case someone gets there before us. They can join up with us once we go there, too.
>> No. 45591
[x] Listen to what the voice has to say. You don't have a better plan.
-[x] Remember that plans are always the first thing to fail. Do we have alternatives, just in case of surprises like the Bat?
[x] Pick your guns carefully, if you can identify which is which. At least one of each should suffice.
[x] Make sure to send one or two guys to watch the asylum or the police station, whichever you don't go to, and that they can contact you when needed. Someone will surely hit one while you're in the other.

There, one gun of each, for fun and for lethality.
>> No. 45593
[x] Listen to what the voice has to say. You don't have a better plan.
-[x] Remember that plans are always the first thing to fail. Do we have alternatives, just in case of surprises like the Bat?
[x] Pick your guns carefully, if you can identify which is which. At least one of each should suffice.
[x] Make sure to send one or two guys to watch the asylum or the police station, whichever you don't go to, and that they can contact you when needed. Someone will surely hit one while you're in the other.
>> No. 45594
File 134066495194.jpg - (46.41KB , 800x600 , the best medicine.jpg ) [iqdb]
45594
The plan... the plan.

It doesn't seem to have many firm details. Two, precisely. 'Bluster' and 'Bluff'.

Not really pretending to be sane, but through one reason or another, having entered a different sort of insanity... possibly.

Though as before, it doesn't seem like many details are particularly firm. The act, as it were, will be impromptu.

You ignore the Henches, coming rapidly to what passes for attention and a wary preparation to bolt for myriad exits, if that is called for, as you stalk directly for the equipment.

There's a pile of guns, there. You'll have to check the ammunition of each one manually, if you want to be sure of what you're getting, and it will take a minute, but you probably have enough time.

And you have to think before committing to a course of action. In case of unexpected surprises. Like THEBATTHEBATTHEBATTHEBAT. The main advantage is in making the first move. THEBAT is cunning and clever, but he is not omniscient. He seems to discover things un-naturally rapidly, immediately after the fact, but he cannot always predict that something is going to happen before it does. You will have a time-frame, a window, though it will probably be narrow, between when Things Start Happening, and when he can be expected to poke his pointy ears into things. You should be able to be in and gone before he gets there, and leave him playing a confused game of catch up.

If he shows up too early, of course, that's what a nice big can of HAPPY FUMES and the nearest window are for.

And on the plus side, even if you do muck it up, things will be drastically more difficult for the next moron to take a shot. You have the strong feeling, after all, that you aren't intended to win this game at all. It's all for the Queen's giggles, and you'll get a consolation prize and invitation to another game with better odds later. Probably.

Still, if you can, that would be impressive~

"Heya, doll." Harley calls, picking out the only female hench at random. You think you would call her 'George', if you had to put a name to her face. She seems like a George. Or a 'Contessa Wilhelmina Vladistavok', but George rolls off the tongue easier. "You know how to use the computer, right? Mind looking up something for me, dear? I need to know who has money in this city, their habits, homes, and backgrounds."

"Ah... sure thing, Harl." She says, a wary glance your way, but that's fine, Harley's always been more or less in charge of the minions after she showed up, and they seem to prefer it that way. Less accidents with the Laughing Gas that way, as it turns out, and significantly less in the way of unexpected and premature Termination of Employment, such as it were.

One of each gun. That will do. As for the rest... of course, the back-up can of HILARITY, primed and ready to go off at a moments notice, if you need it. You could grab a couple false hands, those always seem to work to get you out of the BAT's grip somehow, even if he's not grabbing you by the hand, hm, that is strange now that you think about it, but it's probably another one of those things you shouldn't draw reality's attention to in case it stops working. You have a joy buzzer, and oh, Harl... Rebecca has located Harley's hammer, and she's giving it a testing, interested swing. Not hers. She and she are two different people. You and he are as well, come to think of it.

You'll have to keep that in mind, despite that it seems to be proving more difficult than you might have anticipated.

But it seems like you have all you'll know in advance of THIS GUY's plan until and unless you go through with it, so that leaves you with choices. Use the plan of the mysterious, at least theoretically on your side voice in your head and hit the police station, make a plan of your own, and go to either the asylum or the station again, wait for Harlbecca's little search to pull fruit up and lie in wait at the final stretch of things for someone who looks to be a lot closer to winning than you to come along, start picking off other competitors like bugs to better the odds and-

Come to think of it, you have a whole lot of options.

You should probably send people out to keep eyes on things, of course. You probably have some stolen cell phones and walkie-talkies in here somewhere.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 45595
Oh right, the voice's plan is for the station...

So, do we leave the asylum to someone else? Some contestants ARE more suited to assault a place like that than others.
>> No. 45603
Not gonna vote yet, just throwing out ideas.

I dunno if we can take Arkham's security force, even if the Bat's busy at the police station with another contestant. I say we go for the voice's plan, and if the Bat gets us, we can make sure nobody wins anything.

Losing won't, well, lose us anything, so if it comes down to that we just need to make sure nobody else wins. We should develop some kind of failsafe that'll alert the Bat to the objectives in the event we and Rebecca are captured or killed. The a tip to the police through a henchman would probably work, or maybe a television hijack. Former is probably more realistic.

We may wanna conceal another buzzer in our other sleeve for maximum shockage.
>> No. 45604
[x] To the station it is! Grab your stuff, and a few minions too.
[x] Send a couple to keep watch over the asylum.
[x] Send some minions to rob a bank, or something. Anything to draw the police's attention and lessen the number of targets to shoot at. Maybe Harley Rebecca should go too, to give the act some more credibility.
-[x] Have someone watching the way between the station and the decoy location. That person is to warn the minions so they can run before the police catches them. With whatever they have stolen, of course.
-[x] The rest of your minions are to be ready to assault the station, once cop numbers are lower. That's when YOU will strike too, with everything you have.
-[x] Go in quickl, go out quickly. You will search for the key ASAP, with some help if needed, while other surrender/distract the cops and steal shit.

Here's a project of a plan. Distract the police, then go in and steal shit.
>> No. 45605
[x] To the station it is! Follow the voice's plan.
[x] Send a couple to keep watch over the asylum.

>>45604
The voice's plan give a chance to keep our identity secret. Let's not blow it with a distraction like that.
>> No. 45612
>>45605
>The voice's plan give a chance to keep our identity secret.

What makes you think that? There are no hard details given, and nothing's hinting on any kind of secrecy/stealth.
>> No. 45615
>>45612
>And you realize, thoughtfully, that you do. Or he does, anyway, and he's sharing it. And it's hilarious, though you might only like it because the Joker would like it, but... it's bold. Definitely a little crazy and it sets you up with not only the first key, if nobody else has it yet, but also a strong bluff and alibi that might be suspected, but that nobody should be able to tell right off isn't legitimate...

Do remember that if anything, we DO NOT want the Bat to target us first.
>> No. 45638
Yea, out of all the criminals batman face's Joker could be called one of his major arch nemesis's so if we want to win we need to not let on that we're actually doing anything. Which shouldn't be Too hard since Joker is usually such a large ham.
>> No. 45639
In fact, if we can somehow frame the other villains with false crime's up the wazoo. While Batman is busy stopping all the "Important" crimes getting a key that seems to be of little to no importance should be easier.
>> No. 45641
>>45639

Do note that Batman will be able to catch on quick though.

Anything that the Joker is interested in isn't 'of little importance.'
>> No. 45642
True, damnit, Yukari must Really like us to give us the hardest draw of the game ><.
>> No. 45660
>>45642
> ><
No. Stop it. Also, 'really' is not a proper noun. Don't capitalize it.
>> No. 45674
[x] To the station it is! Follow the voice's plan.
[x] Send a couple to keep watch over the asylum.

I'm curious to see what the voice has in mind.
>> No. 45676
[x] To the station it is! Grab your stuff, and a few minions too.
[x] Send a couple to keep watch over the asylum.
[x] Send some minions to rob a bank, or something. Anything to draw the police's attention and lessen the number of targets to shoot at. Maybe Harley Rebecca should go too, to give the act some more credibility.
-[x] Have someone watching the way between the station and the decoy location. That person is to warn the minions so they can run before the police catches them. With whatever they have stolen, of course.
-[x] The rest of your minions are to be ready to assault the station, once cop numbers are lower. That's when YOU will strike too, with everything you have.
-[x] Go in quickl, go out quickly. You will search for the key ASAP, with some help if needed, while other surrender/distract the cops and steal shit.

Yeah, a tie again, sorry. I just think this is a good plan, and it's not like Batman won't discover everything anyway.
>> No. 45678
[x] To the station it is! Follow the voice's plan.
[x] Send a couple to keep watch over the asylum.
[x] Also send a few to burgle weed killer and fertilizer.

Stake it all on the voice's plan, ensure nobody wins if we fail.
>> No. 45679
Called.
>> No. 45681
File 134082791240.jpg - (11.42KB , 300x256 , Related.jpg ) [iqdb]
45681
Your initial thought is to dismiss the voice and handle it on your own. A little divide and conquer. Split up the police, then hit the important point while numbers are down.

It's a good plan. It should, taking any factor the police can probably bring to bear into account, work.

And then the Bat drops right on your head like a ton of lead bricks. Which you will have to keep in mind, there's a joke there, somewhere.

But no.

Potentially regrettable as it might be, you really think you'll have to trust the voice in your head not to steer you wrong, this time.

"Stooges! I have a job for you, my hilarious little blunderers." You call out, the proper henches standing more or less at attention. "I need you to keep an eye on the asylum. Bring something to contact others with. If anything interesting happens. I assume you'll know if you see it, but for now I'll say, use your own judgement, if you can. Miss something important, and you will regret it, though!"

There's a moment of stark horror flashing across their features, at the thought of what that regret may or may not entail.

"You two! With me. Harl, keep up the fort. Onward, Men!"

---

The police precinct is a far cry from the impregnable island fortress that Arkham likes to pretend to be. The fact of the matter, in the asylum's case, is that getting in is easy. Simplicity itself. It's not designed to keep things out, after all.

But as a structure, the building is far less imposing than the asylum. Far fewer heavy stone walls, topped with barbed wire, and not a tower or turret to be found! There are, however, a large number of polecemen with firearms present.

It doesn't seem like anyone has made any attempts yet, as security doesn't show anything intense as you would expect from an attempted robbery, or for that matter a successful one. Plans are being formulated. This is the easier target, but it is not necessarily by any means an easy target. Care should probably be taken.

You saunter up the steps and swing the doors open wide as you strut in as though you own the place.

"Morning, lads!" You call, ignoring the fact that is anything but as you initiate one of the main points of the plan: Inane blather. Rambling. Bluster. Nonsensical as was required, but no more than that, a fine line to be trod. "Here for my appointment with the head shrink. Six sharp, am I right?"

You wave at the wall, ignoring that the clock on it displays anything but the time you stated, and in fact, would have to put in some effort to be any further away from that time. You press on, making it beyond the startled policemen, in many cases with coffee mugs or donuts raised partway to their mouths, and enter the commisioners office, seating yourself before his desk without hesitation.

"Hello, doc!" You say cheerily. "I'm here for one of our Talk's."

"Joker..." He says in a stunned voice, before shaking it off. "... We don't talk."

"Oh, I know! We never talk any more, dear." You ramble, shifting gears to affect a sort of drawling falsetto. "And it's such a terrible shame that I thought I should rectify it right away. How have you been doing, today, sweetheart?"

"It was alright. It's starting to look like it's about to head downhill, though." He said, mustache bristling as he fiddled with something under his desk. Gun? Probably a gun, yeah. Probably aimed at you right now, come to think of it. No time to think of it, you have to keep babbling. The bluff should be starting soon.

"But yeah, doc. I think I need to talk. About my little impulses."

".... What about them?" The commisioner asked warily, playing along until he could either get rid of you, or until you gave him an excuse to pull the trigger. The next bit would be tricky.

There was, in fact, a large chance that you were about to be shot.

"You see, that's just the thing." You ramble, making a point of not looking as one hand snakes out, plucking a pen from a nearby cup. You can't watch this. Can't let on that you realize it's happening at all, or you'll give everything away from the fact that you're doing it deliberately. His eyes lock onto your hand, as it goes down to paper, but he doesn't pull the trigger yet. "Because you know, I don't seem to be having them."

'Help Me.' You write, upside down and backwards so he can read it easily, across what is probably an important form.

"It's just the strangest thing."

'I'm trapped ix xxxs lunatics head and i don't xxxx whats happening and i cant gxx out.' You write, making sure to smear a letter or two into near-illegibility, and mucking up the occasional unimportant word into a completely unreadable scrawl.

"Oh, I have the odd impulse, if you know what I mean!" You say, thinking of tight rubber jester suits as you crack a deliberate leer. "But not the right kind."

'Doing whxxt x xxn to kexx xxx xxmicidal tenxxxcies xxxtrained.'

"I mean, I haven't really wanted to kill anyone for... it has to have been hours now!"

'Hard to xxxx xxth hix xind. Doing whxx I can.'

"It's just not right, you know?"

'He thxxxs he's stxxx xx xhe asylum.'

"You gotta help me, doc! Head-shrink me back to normal. Get my head on straight, so I can be the good old Laughing Machine again."

'Cxn xxly do sx xuch. Prxxxxly keep hxx xxxm kilxxxng anxone. Safxx delusions. But hxrd. Can alxxxy feex xxntrol slixxing. Plxxse play alxxx.'

".... So, is there anything that does still spark your... impulses?" The commisioner says, seeming to be feeling his way around what was and was not any good to mention.

But no good. This is too soon, and you can't not hit this point. You'll just have to keep blustering and bluffing only with a partial set-up and hope that things go well enough.

"The bat!" You seethe, squeezing your hand enough to burst the pen in it, haphazard and spasming trail becoming rapidly spattered with ink, like your hands, as you put as much venom and hatred into the words as you can. It's worryingly easy.. "I hate, I hate the bat, even now, The Bat, I can still get a Roaring murderous impulse going thinking about him doc, Thinking about the Bat, about swooping and gliding around and punching and throwing people in vats of poison and just looming there and I bet he was laughing were you laughing Batsy, haha, AHAHA, WAS IT ALL A BIG JOKE TO YOU, WHILE THE POISON BURNED ITS MARK INTO MY LUNGS, INTO MY SKIN, HAHAHAHAHA, WAS IT FUNNY, BIG DADDY BAT? I hope he laughed. I HOPE HE LAUGHED LONG AND HARD, BECAUSE IT WAS A HILARIOUS JOKE, but I'm the Joker now, and I'm the one who laughs loudest and last, and... and... I..."

You deliberately take on a confused, uncertain air, as you sag back into the seat, looking at the room around you as though you're seeing it for the first time, and can't recall exactly when you got here, and focus again on the commisioner.

"Where am... what am I doing here, at the...? Furniture retail?" You say, hesitatingly, like you're trying to work something out in your head and pieces aren't quite fitting properly.

"Are you...?"

"I'm fine, you customer service sales monkey." You snap irritably. "Just... a bit of a sudden headache is all, it will go away soon. I'm here because... this is a desk? It's a desk I'm looking at. Obviously I'm here because I need to buy a desk. Why else would I be here. I could steal... no, why would I steal a desk, there's no point to it, it's not funny at all. It must be something Harley wanted? I give her too much leeway. I should... do something. Throw her in an ice cream blender. Ice cream. That would be good. I'll get ice cream on the way back, with the desk. It's a nice desk anyway, I guess. Alright, sales-monkey, it's your lucky day! I'll take it."

"You'll take-?"

"Don't keep me waiting, boy, how much do I owe you." You say, pulling out a purple wallet with a little smiley face on it as you count bills.

The commissioner appears deep in the thought of a man weighing a great number of things in his mind. The odds of any of this scenario being truthful, versus it being some bizarre set-up, uncertainty as to what the Joker would want with a desk, what the odds are if it comes down to putting a bullet in you before you set off some sort of gas grenade and give him a wide smile, whether he can keep things talking long enough for the Bat to find out something's up and arrive, and possibly somewhere near the forefront of his mind, exactly how much he paid for the desk in the first place.

"A thousand dollars?" He tries.

"... That's a bit expensive, don't you think, sales-monkey?" You say dubiously. "But fine. I suppose Harley will just have to find some way of making it up to me!" you say, cracking into a deliberate leer. "Boys! I have heavy lifting for you muscleheads."

"Wait! You can't just walk out with all of it, I have inboxes and reports-"

A henchman cuts off his objections by sweeping an arm across the top of the desk, knocking everything off and to the floor, and the commissioner very hurreidly conceals his gun again, before it can be seen and the delusion change in response.

All in all, things went far better than expected, only a couple of minutes have passed, the policemen are still dumbly uncertain as to what's going on, since no actual serious crime seems to have yet taken place, mostly, the henches heave the desk into the roomy rear trunk of the Jokermobile, more than large enough to hide a dead prostitute or six in, hahaha, and everything is well on its way as you ramble with an air of thoughtlessness about ice cream flavors and chocolate syrup and how you'll have to pick up a couple extra bottles, because you're starting to have a plan or two about it.

Then, of course, everything goes sour.

Not with the Batman's arrival, though.

With the crocodile man's dropping from the top of a building to the street by the precinct, head adorned by a jaunty green bowler cap, spattered with blood.

For a moment there, you had almost entirely forgotten that there were other contestants involved in this little matter.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 45683
Well, look like Riddler's out. Sucks to be the contestant who became a bad guy with main strength being brains I guess.

So, Killer Croc. High combat abilities, low brains and animal instinct. But with a contestant's mind, he gotta have more brains and less instinct, depending on how well he can control himself.

So we got two henches and the desk in the car. His focus is going to be either the desk in our car or us. We aren't winning a direct fight, but you guys think we can distract him long enough for the henches to start the car so we hop in and they step on it?

However, he can follow our smell, so returning to the hideout is unadvised.
>> No. 45685
I don't think we should bring attention that we have the desk just in case he just got here and didn't notice us with it. He might just be here to raid the precinct or kill us judging by Joker's hat.
>> No. 45688
>>45684
I'm sorry, but this whole vote is insane.

Talking. To Killer Croc. Are you crazy or something? Riddler must certainly have tried talking and look where it got him. As for threats, hell, we're just next to the station. You think they missed him?

Desk is in the car. If we want to escape with it, we need time to start the car.

Shooting Croc down? Not happening. Scales and high regeneration. Police aren't going to bring him down. Maybe our laughing gas can have an effect, but that's it.

I'll make a plan later if no one post a better one, but this one will get us out of the game for sure.
>> No. 45689
Do remember, I'm pretty sure the contestant has no say in what he/croc's doing right now, so we can safely assume its the normal Croc. Or, We can assume he's gone 100% instinct, in which case I think our laughing gas's are our only hope.
>> No. 45690
Take the key from the desk-> return desk to police-> It's their problem now.
>> No. 45691
>> 45689

That's not true, it's not like the Joker has full control of us. It's more like a head voice he can listen to if he chooses to give into it.
>> No. 45692
>>45688

Well geez, sorry if I don't know anything about Batman's characters. But fine, go ahead and make your plan, I will delete mine later, once you post yours.

Kinda funny that you shot down all three usual solutions (talk, fight, run away)
>> No. 45693
>>45692
I didn't shoot down run away. You were just doing it wrong.

[x] Give the key of the car to an henchman, tell him to start it now and get ready to step on it as soon as you're on board.
[x] Distract crocodile man while keeping your distance. You don't want to get close to the guy. Use gaz gun if needed. If he gets too close, try the buzzer.
[x] As soon as the car is ready, get on and speed away.
[x] After a safe distance has been reached, have the car stopped and search the desk for the key. Do it fast. If you're lucky, you can use the desk as a distraction.

If anyone can make it better, don't hesitate.
>> No. 45694
problem. both henchmen are carrying the desk now. so you're not getting help from them until the desk is put away
>> No. 45696
>>45694

Wait they're still carrying the desk? I thought it was already loaded in the truck.
>> No. 45697
The gas won't work, he's probably resistant or immune to it.
We need to set up some sort of trap, or put him in a bad situation with another enemy that can slow him down long enough for us to get away. He can probably track us down via scent, but by then we'll be prepared and ready to bait him into a better trap, and we'll have the key.
I doubt we're the only contestant here... perhaps we try to bait them out?
>> No. 45698
>>45696
They're not. They were just finished with that when Croc appeared.
>> No. 45704
[x] Give the key of the car to an henchman, tell him to start it now and get ready to step on it as soon as you're on board.
[x] Distract crocodile man while keeping your distance. You don't want to get close to the guy. Use gas gun if needed. If he gets too close, try the buzzer.
[x] As soon as the car is ready, get on and speed away.
[x] After a safe distance has been reached, have the car stopped and search the desk for the key. Do it fast. If you're lucky, you can use the desk as a distraction.
-[x] If Croc turns out to be as fast as the car and you're unable to lose him through fancy driving, do the searching as stealthily as you can while in transit.

If we can search the desk without Croc knowing, giving up the desk in the midst of a high-speed chase will probably work great, especially if we can make it look like a move of desperation in order to live as he's about to catch up.
>> No. 45707
[x] Give the key of the car to an henchman, tell him to start it now and get ready to step on it as soon as you're on board.
[x] Distract crocodile man while keeping your distance. You don't want to get close to the guy. Use gas gun if needed. If he gets too close, try the buzzer.
[x] As soon as the car is ready, get on and speed away.
[x] After a safe distance has been reached, have the car stopped and search the desk for the key. Do it fast. If you're lucky, you can use the desk as a distraction.
-[x] Don't stop before you've gone through at least one carwash to hide your scent, little as it may be.
-[x] If Croc turns out to be as fast as the car and you're unable to lose him through fancy driving, do the searching as stealthily as you can while in transit.
--[x] See if you can lead Croc into traffic.
[x] Make sure you've gone though at least one car wash before returning to the hideout.
>> No. 45730
[x] Give the key of the car to an henchman, tell him to start it now and get ready to step on it as soon as you're on board.
[x] Distract crocodile man while keeping your distance. You don't want to get close to the guy. Use gas gun if needed. If he gets too close, try the buzzer.
[x] As soon as the car is ready, get on and speed away.
[x] After a safe distance has been reached, have the car stopped and search the desk for the key. Do it fast. If you're lucky, you can use the desk as a distraction.

There, changed my vote, as I said I would.
>> No. 45743
[x] Give the key of the car to an henchman, tell him to start it now and get ready to step on it as soon as you're on board.
[x] Distract crocodile man while keeping your distance. You don't want to get close to the guy. Use gas gun if needed. If he gets too close, try the buzzer.
[x] As soon as the car is ready, get on and speed away.
[x] After a safe distance has been reached, have the car stopped and search the desk for the key. Do it fast. If you're lucky, you can use the desk as a distraction.
[x] Make sure you've gone though at least one car wash before returning to the hideout.
-[x] Or ran in circles enough for him to lose your scent.
>> No. 45744
Just so you guys know, Croc can track scent from miles away once he knows what to follow. Car wash will probably be useless, because he'll track US directly.
>> No. 45745
>>45744
Well, fuck. A car wash can only help, though. Will need to prepare a welcome for him. As far as I can tell from his backstory, he's actually a man, albeit one with scales, immense strength, and an insane sense of smell, so he's probably warmblooded and cold things won't slow him down any more than a regular man.

We should hand the key off to a henchman and go into a factory where we can push him into an enviromental hazard. We could wait for him at our hideout with all our henchmen but Killer Croc busting through the wall of a random building wouldn't exactly go unnoticed by the Bat. And then he would know where our hideout was.
>> No. 45751
>>45745
>Well, fuck. A car wash can only help, though.

Actually, not really. Watch MythBuster? Trained bloodhounds can't be fooled by altering or masking the scent. And what we'll have after us? I'll say he's probably quite better than them.
>> No. 45762
>>45745
>>45751

Well, shit. How the hell did Batman defeat this guy then?

[x] Call Batman.
>> No. 45765
>>45762
I think Gordon was already planning to do that after we left. Now he'll do it for sure, with one matter taking priority over the other.

And yeah, fighting Croc sucks and should be avoided at all cost. We need to either exploit crocodile instincts and hope they take over the mind of the contestant to force him away from us or stay away from him long enough for Batman to do his thing.
>> No. 45819
>>45762
Killer Croc's eyes are unarmored.
Killer Croc still needs to breathe. One incarnation of Batman defeated him by half-drowning him.
Also, he's not very smart, and is drawn to raw meat, so he's relatively easy to trick into traps.

This is sort of a cosplayer, though, so I don't know how well intelligence-targeting strategies will work.
>> No. 45837
I know you said update speed would be drastically lower, but how are things going? Can we expect one soon or in a few more days?
>> No. 45863
File 134133970942.jpg - (44.99KB , 640x414 , mentally edit the funny hat on.jpg ) [iqdb]
45863
Right now, spared a moment between things.

"Croikey, have a look at this'n. Gorgeous." You drawl, sauntering in between the car and Croc, quietly flipping the keys through the air to a waiting minion, who stumbles over to the drivers' seat.

"... Joker." Croc says flatly, staring you down. "I can floss my teeth with your spine. Get out of my way."

"Well you see, there's a little problem with that, because-"

You fire a gas pellet at Croc, interrupting your own sentence, and a number of things happen very fast.

First, Croc shifts his position just enough that the pellet shatters against the side of his scaly head instead of in his eye. There's not much gas inside the pellet, and while it can be delivered all right through skin contact, if it got in his eyes or mouth, it's just rolling off those scales and doing nothing. At the same time, the engine of the car starts up noisily, and a number of policemen draw their sidearms.

Second, Croc barrels into an impossibly fast charge, seeming to try to go through you to get to the desk in the back. You don't prove much of an obstacle, and it's only fortune that he's more focused, at the moment, on getting his claws on the desk than ripping you apart, because you wouldn't have time to stop him if he tried. But you go flying from the impact, and land sprawled on the top of the car, wind knocked out of you. It starts to move below you, as the police open fire, bullets chipping at and cracking Croc's scales a bit, but missing any regions where they could penetrate, as he continues his charge. The car picks up speed rapidly, but...

It's not enough, as with a lunging jump he lands on the back, loud crunch signifying the deformation of the exterior, claws stabbing down into the trunk as he makes to rip it loose. But you have an opening, and raise the gun.

He sees it in time, though, and realizes what it will do at this range no matter which gun it is fast enough to release his grip and shield his eyes, pellets shattering against his fore-arms instead of into his vulnerable eyes as he tumbles a step backwards, losing purchase on the vehicle. Speed picks up, and you're starting to have trouble hanging on, but he's rolled to his feet and he's charging after the Jokermobile.

Not fast enough. Not quite fast enough, as you fire pot-shots, hoping to get a lucky hit in until your gas-pellet gun runs out of ammunition. He's fallen behind, though, and though you have to drop the empty pistol in order to hang on as speed picks up further, and he howls in rage, you leave him in the dust.

... can he track you? He can track you, you think. You should just assume that, anyway, with him being an animal person, that he can track you by scent.

You heave yourself carefully around.. you don't think your ribs are cracked, but they're definitely heavily bruised... and tap and smack at the side window until the paper-white, clearly distressed mook rolls it down.

"CAR WASH." You bellow over the whipping wind, though it takes a couple of tries for him to nod that he understands.

You don't brace yourself properly as he comes to a stop at the nearest one, though, and you end up tumbling off the roof in an undignified heap. You take a moment to have the mooks heave open the back and dig through things for the key first, though.

You hold it up in your hand and inspect it. Like the previous games, it looks to be either solid gold or something very like it, weighing heavily in your hand, and...

There's a flicker, and you instinctively close it. The tip of a lash strikes against your knuckles instead of plucking the prize free, but you still keep your grip tight.

"Evening, Jack." Catwoman, you recognize her at least, drawls, stepping out of the shadows. "Care to let a kitten take a gander at your new toy?"

"I'm afraid that I have no intention of letting this out of my possession." You say, not budging. "But don't worry, my pretty little puss. It holds no value or importance to you."

"Au contraire, Jack. You see, unless my eyes are going bad, that little key of yours seems to be made of solid gold. That itself makes the trinket a little valuable. How much more would whatever is behind the lock that the key matches be?" She wonders aloud.

"... I'll only give you so many warnings." You say, trying to impress the seriousness of things and keep your voice from pitching in strange and amusing ways, as you put the key carefully into a pocket.

"Indeed." A new voice calls.... it's the disfigured man. "I don't believe you want to get involved in this at all, young miss." He says, waving a lit cigar. "The Joker and I need to have a little chat. I don't suppose you know who I am, Joker? No, I suppose not. The Great White Shark is, after all, only... a bit character, at most, when compared to yourself. You have the popularity. People know you. You have any number of, I might point out, well known advantages. What do I have...?"

He pauses and blows some smoke out.

"I have... charisma." he drawls. "It's incredible, really. Once, you may or may not recall, Arkham was taken over by demons from a literal hell? The Great White Shark took opportunity in hand, then, and discovered which section of it he would be relegated to when he died, and then... spoke to the ones in charge. Talk at someone long enough, and they'll eventually find themselves realizing that they really do want to do what I'm suggesting. It's great! And it means that, on death, the Great White Shark will spend the rest of eternity un-tormented. But that's neither here nor there."

He takes another drag, and rolls the cigar about in his hand.

"You, now... I don't believe that I'll simply be able to talk you into giving me that key." He admits. "It's a terrible shame. But there are other recourses to resort to, even with you being, admittedly, dangerous enough that I would prefer to keep my distance. I will simply have to have my fortunately located assistant help to retrieve it."

The wall next to him shatters outward, as a mountain of a pale man smashes through it.

"Solomon Grundy!" He bellows.... and you realize that his flesh is dead and, in places, stitched together. "Born on a Monday!"

"You aren't cute at all! I'm definitely not taking you home!" You snap, offering yourself a brief moment to plan as confusion reigns over the rest of the group.

From the corner of your eye you can see.. oh, wonderful. The scaly form of Croc making a rapid turn at the next street over, barreling along the sidewalk on all fours, no pedestrians to get in his way as he charges along, still following you. He'll be here in moments.

---

[ ] A plan would be really good about now.
>> No. 45865
Holy...

Need to get some info before making a plan. Trying an alliance with Catwoman by asking her if she's interested in the safe that the key would open may be needed too. It's not like we can't share, right? Of course, being backstabbed is always an issue but, but we could use her expertise getting the key from Arkham, if no one got it yet.
>> No. 45866
>The Joker
>Plans

Uhhuh. I believe a more appropriate term would be improvisation.
>> No. 45867
The catwoman isn't a participant, is she?
>> No. 45868
>>45867
Nope, thankfully.

Hey, how about we get the two piles of muscles to fight each other?
>> No. 45872
[x] Trick Croc and Grundy into fighting each other. That's the only way you'll survive this and stop them from following you.
-[x] Make sure to stay away from either of them. You don't want them to take you out first to make sure you're staying here.
[x] While they're busy, take out Mr. Great White so he doesn't try to redirect either against you.
[x] Escape, suggest that Catwoman follow.
[x] Propose an alliance to Catwoman. As it happens, you know where the other key needed and the safe are.
-[x] Don't tell her where the safe is yet. You don't want her deciding to try this out all by herself.

Joke idea: While we're not taking Grundy home, what about Catwoman? It's not like Yukari is keeping the game board around after this.

Anyway, a lesser reward is better than no reward at all, especially when the chances of winning are so low. Catwoman's expertise could be useful for this game.

If anyone can make the votes better, be my guest.
>> No. 45873
[x] Trick Croc and Grundy into fighting each other. That's the only way you'll survive this and stop them from following you.
-[x] Make sure to stay away from either of them. You don't want them to take you out first to make sure you're staying here.
-[x] Offer to give the key to whoever defeats the other. No paying up front. If the Croc gets the key, he won't have a reason to stay and fight and will probably go after the other key right away instead of giving Grundy an opportunity.
--[x] You're not actually giving the key to anyone.
[x] While they're busy, take out Mr. Great White so he doesn't try to redirect either against you.
[x] Escape, suggest that Catwoman follow.
-[x] Offer her to join you in your lastest entertainment.

Problem is, we need a reason to make them fight each other.
>> No. 45875
[x] Tell them your story (whichever one works best here), while you remove the desk from the car.
[x] Croc still wants the desk, doesn't he? Well, fine, he can keep it; if he manages to not let Grundy there take it from here.
-[x] That's the interesting thing. You're weaker than Croc, so it should be more appealing for him to let you live instead of the Shark. He has ways of fighting him back, you don't.
--[x] If possible, shoot the sharkman down. And the alligator man too.
[x] Escape throught the way Croc came from.
-[x] Tell the catwoman to come with you. You have a proposal she might be interested in.

Not really different from the proposed plan in >>45872 and >>45873, but I wanted to make sure to not use the key as an offer. The desk, however, might still be useful.
>> No. 45876
>>45875
Except White saw us with the key. I don't think we want him to turn Croc on us in anger because we tried to trick him.
>> No. 45887
[x] You have guns, don't you? USE THEM. Why bother with a complex plan that will fall apart at the slightest thing when a bullet will do the same more faster.
[x] Try to remember who batman is, you've read the comic and that knowledge would REALLY come in handy.

Quoting Yukari here "But yes. It is every bit as possible for a yukkuri to Transcend its current existence as it is for a Human, or an animal, or a rock or plant. Though as I said, they must survive to manage the feat. As it happens, however, mental stability is not required to become something other than what you were."
Suspiciously soon after hearing that we get an immoral voice in our head. Are we turning into a Youkai?
>> No. 45889
>>45887
I am speechless at your vote. Truly.

And not in a good way, just to make sure you don't get me wrong.
>> No. 45891
[x] Try to get the Catwoman to help you. You have a proposal she might be interested in, but you need to be alive for that, and keep the key.
[x] Try to trick Croc and Grundy to fight each other.
[x] Escape throught wherever is easier to escape. Or shoot the shark man until he's dead.
>> No. 45895
>>45887

There is nothing that suggests Youkai have voices in their heads...your logic makes no sense.

>>45891

>shoot the shark man until he's dead.

Where's the comedy?

[X] Try to get the Catwoman to help you. You have a proposal she might be interested in, but you need to be alive for that, and keep the key.
[X] Try to trick Croc and Grundy into fighting with each other.
[X] Keep Great White Shark busy by challenging him to a charisma battle.
-[X] Tell him you will give him the key, if he gives you a good enough reason to do so.
-[X] After he gives whatever reason, agree to give him the key, but kill him with the hand taser when in range.
>> No. 45896
>>45895

Oh, well thought. I had forgotten about Joker's shocking grips.

[X] Try to get the Catwoman to help you. You have a proposal she might be interested in, but you need to be alive for that, and keep the key.
[X] Try to trick Croc and Grundy into fighting with each other.
[X] Keep Great White Shark busy by challenging him to a charisma battle.
-[X] Tell him you will give him the key, if he gives you a good enough reason to do so.
-[X] After he gives whatever reason, agree to give him the key, but kill him with the hand taser when in range.
>> No. 45898
>>45895
>Where's the comedy?

The dead fish and the living clown. Pretty humorous to me.
>> No. 45912
>say you need to keep the key
>agree to give it to someone else

This makes it obviously a trap. The baraining with Catwoman, which I personally think is stupid, will have to be done after GWS.

[X] Keep Great White Shark busy by challenging him to a charisma battle.
-[X] Tell him you will give him the key, if he gives you a good enough reason to do so.
-[X] After he gives whatever reason, agree to give him the key, but kill him with the hand taser when in range.
--[x] If the doesn't work, shoot him in the head. Several times.
[x] Toss Grundy the desk and let Croc attack him to get it, prompting retaliation.
>> No. 45913
>[x] Toss Grundy the desk and let Croc attack him to get it, prompting retaliation.

I'm pretty sure Joker doesn't have the required strength for that.
>> No. 45923
Maybe you can signal Batman? That would be both amusing and a good distraction. Though he'd try to stop you even though you technically havent done anything wrong tonight. Well aside from robbing that one guy...
>> No. 45927
Change mine to
[x] Signal Batman

>>45895
Youkai don't have voices in their head, but notice that he and the voice are overlapping sometimes now.
>> No. 45932
[x] Signal Batman

I like this option.
>> No. 45933
>>45927
That's probably the single most retarded thing we could possibly do.

Also what is it with you and things turning into youkais? Give it a rest already.
>> No. 45935
>>45927
>>45932

Please refrain from samefagging your idiotic vote. If you want a story with retarded Joker then start your own CYoA.
>> No. 45936
Is signalling batman so bad? We paid for the desk after all.

(This is extremely silly, and please don't take it as any real sort of endorsement.)
>> No. 45941
>>45933
You don't like the action, post an alternative instead of mocking ppl. Chose this option because A. We're playing the "stuck in the Joker's head" card and don't think we've actually done anything illegal (yet).
And B. This is Yukari's game and it would probably be amusing.

Also, I was throwing out an idea then expanding on my reasoning on the Youkai thing only included it in two posts so I don't know why you're so bothered about it.
>> No. 45943
>>45939
I already voted, dumbass.

I do apologize about the youkai thing though, I thought you were this other guy.
>> No. 45944
>>45941
By the way:
First, we're not pulling the 'stuck in Joker's head' act anymore, that was just to throw the commissioner off balance.
Second, we did something illegal first thing after leaving the safehouse.
Third, do you honestly beleive that Batman would let the Joker do as he wished because some other guy might be inside him?
And fourth, making things interesting for Yukari isn't our goal. Winning is.
>> No. 45948
[x] Signal Batman

Voting this just to spite >>45935.
>> No. 45949
Did anyone think of HOW we are going to signal Batman?
>> No. 45951
>>45949
Those are troll votes. Just ignore them.
>> No. 45954
Should we also see if there's some Gotham tech for replacing/regrowing limbs just in case we're allowed to keep what we get again? Someone back home would appreciate it.
>> No. 45989
File 134186884476.jpg - (1.00MB , 1000x882 , Close but uh.jpg ) [iqdb]
45989
The solution is obvious, really.

You should signal THEBAT. He does this sort of thing as some kind of twisted hobby, apparently, getting his kicks from pounding the bad guys' faces in. He'd probably jump at the chance to rumble with the lizard man, Mr. Shark, and Grundy all at once, to show who is top dog.

The problem is how, though. There's a spotlight somewhere around town that gets his attention whenever it gets shined up on the somehow always conveniently present clouds. Gotham doesn't exactly have a surplus of clear, starry and cloudless nights. But you're not certain of the location, and it's probably going to be hard to make a run for it.

Well, you could get his attention the way you normally do.

And you did pick up that can of laughing gas. A sudden outbreak of hilarity would be just the thing to catch the Bat's roving eye.

Proooobably not the best way to nudge him into not giving you a knuckle-makeover though, and you get the strong feeling that if The Bat catches you and you can't get away, it's Game Over.

You should probably pass on that, then. Something of a last resort. You're more or less out on your own, without Harley as backup, with three outright enemies present, one neutral party that looks fairly ready to retreat on her own, to leave the meat-heads knocking knuckles to noses on their own, and your assets are made up of...

A car that a panicked minion just kicked into high gear, tires squealing as it shoots down the road. Without you, and with the other hench loudly yelling at the driver, until they leave audible distance. You're probably never going to see that particular hench again.

Because he should know full well that you do not appreciate this treachery at all. Time to improvise, then, as Lizardman slides to a halt, claws leaving deep gouges in the concrete.

"Alright Fine. You win." You say, theatrically waving your hands. "I'd rather not be brutalized tonight, so I'll deliver the key to whichever of you defeats the other in combat. Consider it a prize."

"Do I look like a fool, Jok-" lizardman begins, before Grundy cuts him off with a powerful and punishing right hook. Attention captured, for the moment, the gator person hisses loudly before entering retaliatory assaults against the lumbering zombie.

"... I have an idea, kitten. But be ready to run." You hiss out of the side of your mouth.

"Oh, you can believe I'll do that, Jack. Most of your ideas aren't pleasant for bystanders." She purrs.

"Now, am I forever such a predictable punch line?" You wonder, before strolling over in the Shark's direction.

.... He levels a small automatic machine gun at you from beneath his jacket, and you immediately raise your hands, smile wide.

"Now, there's no need for that." You say, in as friendly a tone as you can manage. "I'm going to be straight with you. Odds are against winning this shindig from the start. So hey, I might lose, but there's no reason to get hurt or make enemies along the way. Maybe you could... convince me to let go of this thing before whoever finishes up over there starts looking this way."

"More reasonable than I'd expect from that face..." the Great White Shark muses thoughtfully. "I presume mentioning that the key paints a rather large target right between your eyes is insufficient? Then the question is regarding restitution outside of this... scenario. In a way... paying you to take a fall?"

"Something like that." you hum, taking another cautious step closer, and coming to a stop as the gun twitches again.

"Perhaps we could meet elsewhere, on a later date, to discuss appropriate repayment?" The Shark says. "I would, of course, prefer not to have to ventilate your organs and remove the key from your cooling corpse. A date and time can be determined following our transaction?"

"Sure, why not." You say, smiling as best you can as you dip a hand into the correct pocket, dropping a joy-buzzer down from your sleeve while you do.

Shark extends a hand, letting the gun point away enough for you to get close, to reach out with your fingers curled as though about to drop something.... and then he grabs your wrist and twists it around, revealing the trap.

"You treacherous-" he starts to rail, but you're already too close, and with a flick, the buzzer in your other sleeve drops into your hand. Which you clamp right down onto his head.

He spasms for a few seconds from the voltage, and you can feel his grip on your other wrist loosening. Then he drops the gun, and his fist comes up, clocking you right in the jaw and sending you spinning away as he gasps for air, clutching at his chest.

His other hand is already reaching for his gun again, and Grundy is breaking off from the battle to come to defend his.... whatever Shark is, probably superior, with lizardman close behind. You could draw a gun and finish the Shark off right now, but you somehow can't see that ending well in any way, shape, or form for you.

"Time to go!" You say, moving from standing position to a full sprint, fueled by your insistent desire to not be torn apart into palm-size chunks.

Catwoman is retreating.

In an entirely different direction than you are, the fiend, having noted that they're all after you. You adjust your path accordingly, following right on her heels, as bullets begin to spray. Thankfully, the Shark doesn't seem the greatest shot, either due to the distance now between you two, or the fact that his muscles are still all twitching from being introduced to a current phenomenon.

That just leaves you with the concern of two lumbering juggernaughts perhaps three steps behind you, as Catwoman looks back in alarm.

"Why are you following me?" She spits.

"Sorry, kitten, but you wanted to see that key? Now you're stuck with the consequences. Can you outrun them both?"

"I just have to outrun you, Jack."

Technically, and despite their size, both of the bruisers are actually a bit faster than you are. But they aren't so quick on turns. Catwoman is well aware of this, and tries to keep going in straight lines as much as possible, to try to let them catch you or to make you break off more. And while you do have to make several erratic and sharp turns, you make a point of continuing to return right to her path as soon as possible.

She isn't at all pleased by your insistence on keeping her in the game at this point, though as your legs burn, you can see that she's also having a bit of fun with the chase, knowing that there's no consequences for her if you get caught. Devilish cat.

She darts aside, into an open door, and starts to close it. You'll have none of that, and throw yourself into a tackling lunge, managing to force it back open and send the both of you rolling end over end across the room. She kicks up and out, heaving you further, and you start to arc towards a huge, ornamental window.

You grab ahold of her before you're completely clear though, managing to drag her through the shattering glass with you and...

Falling. This is the first floor, why are you falling. Why is there a canal here, it looks deep. Why is the house built close enough to it that you could call it literally right on the edge of the canal, with a drop straight down. Why?

You can hear the door smashing open again above, and you know that once you splash into the water it's over, you can't possibly outswim the crocodile man, if he's anything like the real reptile, especially in a heavy and waterlogged suit, and he's already angry with you.

A little hand taps your back.

EYES. EYES EVERYWHERE, ALL AROUND YOU, AND CATWOMAN'S OWN ARE WIDENING IN RESPONSE TO THE INFINITE-you're spit out in the alley behind the hideout.

Yukarin looks a little smug, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Ufu. Mister pervert couldn't get away from this on his own, so now Yukari doesn't have to-"

"Ufufufufufu?"

"... Apol... ogize?" She says weakly, smug look fading rapidly into worry as a pair of similarly dressed arms slide out of A MASS OF LEERING EYES STARING OUT OF A TEAR IN NOTHINGNESS, fingers pinching at her cheeks. The Demon Queen's head slides out a little after, and breathes out against Yukarin's ear.

"... Don't you know? It's very rude to meddle in another's amusement, uninvited." She purrs. "Naughty little girls who do that sort of thing... Must~ Be~ Punished~"

"... Save-!" Yukarin starts, before the Demon Queen drags her back through her own aperture, squealing and struggling.

You're not entirely sure what to make of the entire exchange, and judging by Catwoman's flat, blank stare, she has no idea what just happened.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 45991
Well, I would say we have screwed up, but little Yukari gave us a 'Continue', so to say. Better not screw up again.

[x] Explain things a bit to Catwoman. Everyone's after the keys and the safe those will open that night and the lady she just saw was the one who set up this contest. She expect everyone to fail and did that just for entertainment, but set the reward accordingly should someone actually do it.
-[x] If she still has doubts on this story, tell her you can tell more later.
[x] That being said, ask her if she's in or not. The chances of success being so low, since someone holding a key becomes a target for the others, you wouldn't mind help for this even if it means splitting the prize.
[x] Go inside the hideout. Anything new on Harley's side?
-[x] If her search was successful, tell her to hold the answer for now if Catwoman is here.
[x] Think about a plan for the next key, with voice help and Joker mind. You can't stay here too long in case Croc finds your scent again and comes here.
-[x] Maybe Harley could help with this.
-[x] If Catwoman is helping, tell her where the next key is. Maybe she would have a plan.
[x] Get another gas gun.

No reason to break the fourth wall with her. Yet.
>> No. 45992
[x] Explain things a bit to Catwoman. Everyone's after the keys and the safe those will open that night and the very powerful lady, who seems to be omnipotent she just saw was the one who set up this contest. She expect everyone to fail and did that just for entertainment, but set the reward accordingly should someone actually do it.
-[x] If she still has doubts on this story, tell her you can tell more later.
-[x] Do mention just how powerful Yukari is, and what she can do (that you know of). And how playing this game is the only way of keeping things in...acceptable living conditions.
[x] That being said, ask her if she's in or not. The chances of success being so low, since someone holding a key becomes a target for the others, you wouldn't mind help for this even if it means splitting the prize.
[x] Go inside the hideout. Anything new on Harley's side?
-[x] If her search was successful, tell her to hold the answer for now if Catwoman is here.
[x] Think about a plan for the next key, with voice help and Joker mind. You can't stay here too long in case Croc finds your scent again and comes here.
-[x] Maybe Harley could help with this.
-[x] If Catwoman is helping, tell her where the next key is. Maybe she would have a plan.
[x] Get another gas gun.
>> No. 45993
Oh great. Is Catwoman coming back with us this time?

[x] Explain things a bit to Catwoman. Everyone's after the keys and the safe those will open that night and the lady she just saw was the one who set up this contest. She expect everyone to fail and did that just for entertainment, but set the reward accordingly should someone actually do it.
-[x] If she still has doubts on this story, tell her you can tell more later.
[x] That being said, ask her if she's in or not. The chances of success being so low, since someone holding a key becomes a target for the others, you wouldn't mind help for this even if it means splitting the prize.
[x] Go inside the hideout. Anything new on Harley's side?
-[x] If her search was successful, tell her to hold the answer for now if Catwoman is here.
[x] Think about a plan for the next key, with voice help and Joker mind. You can't stay here too long in case Croc finds your scent again and comes here.
-[x] Make at least one, Preferably more false keys.
-[x] Maybe Harley could help with this.
-[x] If Catwoman is helping, tell her where the next key is. Maybe she would have a plan.
[x] Get another gas gun.
[x] Look into limb replacement/regrowth tech in case you are allowed to keep what you get again.
>> No. 45994
Darn it, cat stepped on the button before I could finish. Was going to add in those bits about Yukari being powerful.
>> No. 45996
>>45993
>[x] Look into limb replacement/regrowth tech in case you are allowed to keep what you get again.

I'm pretty sure that even IF we have the time for that detour, that such tech is probably made and work only on the livings. Regrowth definitely won't work on a dead body. And how are we supposed to link undead muscles with working ones from new limbs?

No, even then, we probably don't have what it takes to use said tech nor the money to pay someone to use tech even if it worked. Chances are, trying to find a necromancer or asking Yukari would give better results.
>> No. 45999
Any chance we could forge/obtain a number of fake keys really quickly? Not total duplicates, as obviously that could probably let whoever had one open the safe anyway, but ones close enough to be used as decoys...
>> No. 46001
>>45991

We aren't the one's who screwed up. Nobody could have predicted he would resist the 100,000 niggawatts taser.
>> No. 46010
>>46001
Actually, given the situation, there was probably no way to hold on on the key and make it out alive. Not with both Croc and Grundy around to pursue. We really should have given up on it for now. Then either Shark and Grundy or Croc would be out of the game, since they would have fought for it.
>> No. 46012
>>45999
>putting sage in the subject field
Stop that.
>> No. 46019
[x] Explain things a bit to Catwoman. Everyone's after the keys and the safe those will open that night and the very powerful lady, who seems to be omnipotent she just saw was the one who set up this contest. She expect everyone to fail and did that just for entertainment, but set the reward accordingly should someone actually do it.
-[x] If she still has doubts on this story, tell her you can tell more later.
-[x] Do mention just how powerful Yukari is, and what she can do (that you know of). And how playing this game is the only way of keeping things in...acceptable living conditions.
[x] That being said, ask her if she's in or not. The chances of success being so low, since someone holding a key becomes a target for the others, you wouldn't mind help for this even if it means splitting the prize.
[x] Go inside the hideout. Anything new on Harley's side?
-[x] If her search was successful, tell her to hold the answer for now if Catwoman is here.
[x] Think about a plan for the next key, with voice help and Joker mind. You can't stay here too long in case Croc finds your scent again and comes here.
-[x] Maybe Harley could help with this.
-[x] If Catwoman is helping, tell her where the next key is. Maybe she would have a plan.
-[x] Make a copy of the key.
[x] Get another gas gun.

You know, maybe we should buy a pair of radios to communicate with Yukarin to ask for help, just in case Flandre wants to play again.
>> No. 46022
There's no point into going into any details with yukari, or even naming her, it would just be counter-productive
>> No. 46023
[x] Explain things a bit to Catwoman.
-[x] That being said, ask her if she's in or not. The chances of success being so low, since someone holding a key becomes a target for the others, you wouldn't mind help for this even if it means splitting the prize.
[x] Go inside the hideout. Anything new on Harley's side?
-[x] If her search was successful, tell her to hold the answer for now if Catwoman is here.
[x] Think about a plan for the next key, with voice help and Joker mind. You can't stay here too long in case Croc finds your scent again and comes here.
-[x] Maybe Harley could help with this.
-[x] If Catwoman is helping, tell her where the next key is. Maybe she would have a plan.
-[x] Make a copy of the key.
[x] Get another gas gun.

Yeah, she doesn't need to know about Yukari. Unless she asks.
>> No. 46025
File 134196555337.png - (79.88KB , 574x600 , what an adorable couple of clowns.png ) [iqdb]
46025
"There's a game being played, kitten. And you aren't one of the players, so you're ineligible for the prize, as it were." You explain. "That woman set it up. And it doesn't seem like she plans for anyone to win."

"And the thing that looked like a little her, Jack?"

"... Even so, the reward for success is worthwile." You continue, ignoring the question. Or at least, you assume it is. You're suddenly recalling that it was never specified what the reward was, in a moment of paranoia. Wouldn't it be hilarious if you pulled it off, only to recieve something relatively useless? Hahahaha. It would be a laugh. You brush the thought aside, uncomfortable with it, and decide not to think about that for the moment. You won't know unless you win, after all.

"She called you a pervert, Jack." Catwoman said, amusement clear in her tone and the quirk of her lips. "What have you and Harley been getting up to, these days?"

"Ah, kitten, if you are so interested, you only need to ask~" You drawl, waggling your eyebrows in a deliberately salacious manner. "But as far as the game goes, you're only an obstacle at the moment. And as I said... the prize is useless to you. But that doesn't mean I can't be grateful for your help."

"Oh, you'll have to talk far sweeter than that to get this little cat jumping in the way of a crocodile's claws." She says in return. "Especially when I saw he was wearing Eddie's hat. But, provided I'm not required to take... well, your kind of risks, I'm listening."

"This is hardly the place to discuss details, though." You say, waving her towards the nearest entry, and delaying further speech until Harlbecca is in audible range.

And a muffled explosion sounds from the speaker-phone on the table next to her, as she flips through print-offs.

"... Anything interesting happen while I was out, darling?" You ask, after a moment.

"The Asylum's already under siege, Mister J." She replies, seeming unable to quite bring her voice to make the 'mist-ah' sound that you recall from Harl. "The boys have sent confirmed sightings of Poison Ivy, coming in from one side and ripping apart the stonework with greenery, and Tweedle Dee and Dum landing a ship on the other, to form an assault made up of, at best estimation, between forty and fifty armed mercenaries. Current position of the other contestants is unknown, but it's safe to assume that anyone previously incarcerated in Arkham isn't any longer, by this point."

There's a static-ey and distressed series of noises from the speaker-phone.

"The Mad Monk has just been sighted draining the life from one of Arkham's security force. Apparently he is a vampire?" She translates uncertainly. "As well, it can be confirmed that Batman and Robin are en route. Location of other vigilantes are still unknown-"

"L-L-L-LOOK AT YOU, HACKER." The computer bellows, shortly before emitting sparks, smoke, and dying.

"... Though it can be assumed that Oracle just noticed our research and has taken offense, for any of a number of possible reasons." She finishes. "And we need a new computer."

"You. Lackey. Handle it." You say, pointing to the goon that looks the most like he knows what a keyboard is.

"But that aside, I have determined who the most wealthy individual in Gotham is, and have printed off what could be considered an abbreviated biography. Though, I must admit, it was probably collecting his police records which tipped Oracle off. They aren't exactly meant to be available to the casual public, I think?"

"Well, anyway, I nearly died." You say in response, trying to keep things a little on track. "The Great White Shark has Grundy, possibly the least attractive zombie I've ever met, and the sewer lizard seems to have reduced competition by one, as he was wearing a rather fetching bowler cap when he tried to get the first Key away from me. It looks like we won't make it in time to claim the second?"

"It's very doubtful, pudding." She replies, shaking her head. "Plans will have to be designed around getting the second away from whoever gets it, instead of getting to it first. But at least we can start to work on the location of the Safe, with this."

"You're targetting playboy Wayne?" Catwoman says dryly, flipping through the printouts. You didn't hear her slink past you. Sneaky little kitten.

On a side-note, you set out a couple extra guns of each type that you've already sorted through, so you only have to pick up a new Gas gun, fully loaded. The thought of making false keys springs to mind....

... You'd need gold for that, you think. And you guess you'd have to make a mold out of clay somehow, and melt the gold into.... no, that would make an identical copy, you probably don't want that, and it's a time consuming thing, as best you can guess....

Ah. Is that the siren song of your poor, abused Jokermobile screeching to a halt outside the Ha-hideout? You think it is. And here you have a gun, right there in your hand.

What magnificent timing, on someone's part.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 46029
[x] Reeducate the Treacherous Minion.
-[x] Bring some backup too, just in case it's not actually the Treacherous Minion.

More to come later? Can't think of anything in specific yet.
>> No. 46031
[x] A second. Why would he return here after ditching you? Something may not be right. Warn the others just in case and wait for him to come inside.
-[x] If it's him...
--[x] Laugh at his horrified reaction, then put some pressure. For Fun. But as much as you may want to kill him, you probably need as many hands as you can get tonight. Just make sure he's fully aware that a second betrayal means you'll take your time having fun with him.
-[x] If his reaction isn't the one he should have from seeing you after he ditched you, deal with him.
[x] It will take some time for the battle at Arkham to be done with. Start planning for the safe and for whoever wins.
[x] ...Can Croc tracks you after a teleportation? Since he probably knows you escaped and still have the key, he's probably searching for you. Maybe you should prepare something for big 'guests' just in case.

No sense in moving now. I don't think we can move the safe anyway and moving there without the two keys is useless (since Alfred will without a doubt alert Batman).

That said, if we have something at the hideout that can give us a chance against Croc or Grundy should they show up, better prep it now. Or an escape route.
>> No. 46037
I would be incredibly paranoid about that happening. Be on guard when you get out there, its highly likely the minion who had the car has either been compromised, or somebody stole it and somehow found the hideout, etc. You've got a lot of people after you, of course.
>> No. 46043
[x] Reeducate the Treacherous Minion. Lethaly, if needed (or fun).
-[x] Bring some armed backup too, just in case it's not actually the Treacherous Minion.
[x] After the reeducation, check your arsenal and your minion's equipment. Maybe it's time to prepare yourself for the battles to come.

Since it's likely not who we hope it is, I guess voting for anything after meeting the mysterious person is useless, as we will probably have to vote how to react then. Still, nothing like a reminder for the future.
>> No. 46046
File 134203553972.jpg - (27.62KB , 184x260 , I'll make you an offer etc.jpg ) [iqdb]
46046
You pick up a gun, and walk to the door, waiting a moment even as you hesitate in paranoia. Why would he come back? Of course, he couldn't have expected you to beat him back, and he probably has something stashed away around here he wants. Money, or something that would make a panicked flight easier.

Or it could be someone else. Could Croc have tracked... the car? There must be hundreds of criss-crossing car trails, even several limousines, networking the city streets, he... you don't know. It's worrying though. But on the plus side, your minions seem to have heavier weapons than you do, assault rifles with, in many cases, smiley faces painted on, or a distracting stuffed animal involved.

But no, it's the gutless minion that stumbles through the door. You could make him more gutless. Instead, you just point the barrel of the gun directly between his eyes, as he comes to a sudden halt, already pale skin going chalk white.

The other minion crashes in after.

"You miserable.... hey, uh. Boss." He says, grinding to his own halt, nose bleeding.

You pull the trigger.

Gutless flinches as the little flag springs out, unfolding to flap slightly. You laugh directly in his face, sending him cringing a little further backwards.

"You know what I don't appreciate?" You note aloud. "My getaway car getting away... without me!"

You take a moment to scowl, then pat the gutless minion on the head.

"On the other hand, I can appreciate a good practical joke." You say lightly. Your voice goes still and heavy as you continue, however. "Keep it up, and I'll show you a few of my own."

Gutless slowly falls over, having both passed out and, embarrassingly, soiled himself. You sneer a little before pulling the trigger again, sending the little flag out to dig into the floor next to his head.

"Alfred isn't mentioned much in these." Catwoman notes.

"The butler? Yes, he's noted in passing, but the primary concern was to gather information on Mister Wayne. It's noted that he played the role of something of a father figure, following his parents' unfortunate deaths?" Harlbecca replies, tone business.

"Yeah, but not much aside from that. You'll probably mess with him if he's a target, but it might nto be a good idea. You can ask the last people that tried to hold him a hostage."

"Oh?"

"Three big men, got a bright idea about robbing Wayne. Alfred got caught when they broke in.... and somehow shanked two, and concussed the third, then tied them up, stitched their wounds closed with medical precision, and served tea and snacks while waiting for the police to arrive and escort the men out."

There is a soft response of approval that you can somehow tell is all Rebecca.

"Efficient."

"He apparently makes very good tea-cakes, too." Catwoman notes, flipping through more papers. "At least one is on record as being willing to go through the whole thing again, including having his liver tickled, so long as Alfred had those ones with the little currants in them available after."

You halfway tune out the conversation as you flip through the papers yourself.

Wealthy. Charming. Rakish. Typical socialite at first glance, but the backstory is interesting. Parents dead in a mugging gone wrong. Angry young man about it, gets himself arrested and imprisoned later on, and then when he comes back out he's the debonair playboy of today.

Pieces click together. You don't need to actually be familiar with the comic series to figure this one out.

Bruce Wayne is hiding something big. In this town, there aren't so many options about that. He never seems to be more than lightly touched by any criminal enterprises, just enough to keep suspicion away from him, as it would be odd if he didn't occasionally get robbed and not get anything back, in a city like this. It adds up.

Bruce Wayne is something to the local Mafia. Maybe just a higher up, maybe an outright kingpin or don. What he loses, he chooses to lose, in order to avert suspicion. The charming socialite might even be genuine, it's just not the whole story....

And the prison. Hoo boy. He goes to prison, and then comes out a perfect gentleman? There's records here of internal fights and violence and punishments. That doesn't quite add up, even if it is true that a lot of it probably wasn't his choice. At least some... but it looks like he got himself locked up deliberately somehow, by a few oddities in the records.

Why would he do that? Why would he arrange to have himself arrested and sent to a high-security prison, then come out pleased with himself and perfectly peaceful?

Your mind turns back to the mugging gone wrong, and that clicks into place as well.

People die in prison sometimes. That's recorded fact. He needed to get in, either to get to a specific inmate himself, or... no, not himself, probably. To have someone else inside deal with it for him. Keep his hands clean. And the other party would stay quiet about their involvement, because...

People get out of prison all the time, too. Let out on bail, released on good behaviour. Wayne is fabulously wealthy. If he wanted a specific person to get a hearing, to get out of the clink, then he could arrange that, and it would probably even be likely that he could do so without being personally tied to anything.

It all makes a grim sort of sense.

Oh boy is getting that safe going to be dangerous. No wonder she doesn't expect anyone to win.

"He has a number of wards...?" Harlbecca asks.

"Oh, that is a juicy bit of gossip." Catwoman purrs. "Lots of wards. No children of his own. Interestingly, you often see Wayne with a woman on one or both arms, but as far as anyone can tell, nothing often happens with them. He just charms them for a few days, then moves along to the next girl, or girls. So there's two main theories. First, that he's impotent. Second, that he's secretly a homosexual, and doesn't want it to get out. Either way, it provides a reason for both the wards, replacing the children he can't or won't have, and the women that he could have with a crook of the finger, but doesn't, no?"

Harlbecca hums thoughtfully at this tidbit. You, yourself, are more worried about munitions. You have a lot of Laughing Gas and can make more easily. It's a bit of an extreme measure, though. You also have a stockpile of cheap, usable assault rifles for the mooks, though they tend to surprisingly be less use than one might expect against Big Names, and have more than a few barrels of gasoline and a few of gunpowder. Cheap and easy to acquire or manufacture things. You think you might have enough materials for a messy fertilizer bomb, too.

But if you want anything better, or more specific, than that... you'll have to acquire it.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 46048
Well, I would say it's time to gather ressources for the break-in and dealing with others contestants while most efforts are probably dealing with Arkham, but I have no idea what to go get really. And if we make too much noise gathering things, we'll be next on Batman's list.

At the very least, we really need something to deal with Croc and Grundy, because the next encounter with them is going to end badly for us.
>> No. 46049
John just noticed Wayne is the Batman, didn't he?

[x] Yes, weapons. You need those heavy weapons. Acquiring them while the bat is busy with arkham should be smooth.
[x] Get another update on the arkham asylum. You need to know if someone else went there and if the bat has already arrived.
[x] A couple of kidnappings could help you escape the bat, if needed...
-[x] Alfred is fine, even if Catwoman said he's dangerous, somewhat.
>> No. 46050
>John just noticed Wayne is the Batman, didn't he?

No.

John thinks Wayne is a mob boss, and that he got himself arrested so he could get a shot at the guy who whacked his parents.

"Secretly, he might be Batman" never comes up, or gets considered.

Just clearing that up.
>> No. 46051
>>46049
Better idea: we take hostages before breaking in to make sure Alfred doesn't try something.
>> No. 46052
[x] Yes, weapons. You need those heavy weapons. Acquiring them while the bat is busy with arkham should be smooth.
[x] Get another update on the arkham asylum. You need to know if someone else went there and if the bat has already arrived.
[x] A couple of kidnappings could help you escape the bat, if needed...

Well, kidnapping Alfred will help us anyway, since we need to get into Wayne's manor for the safe. Still, until something ebtter shows up...
>> No. 46055
>>46050

Yeesh, given that the City isn't perfectly isolated from the outside world, John has to be the least informed inhabitant around to think mob boss is an obvious secret when he's playing the frickin' Joker. Ah well, it's entirely true to his established character.

Batman=Bruce Wayne is something you'd have to be a hermit to have not heard once - and given that the City isn't exactly brimming with tourist destinations, illegally downloaded entertainment must be huge.

At least some of the other contestants must know.
>> No. 46058
>>46055
Quoting Kahi here
"All John knows about Batman, not from the Joker he's whatever with right now, comes from some passing references in Superman comics he read, once.

I am assuming one exists which includes reference to Batman and Catwoman, but not Bruce Wayne in any way.

If not, it is a fictional issue which only exists in some alternate universe.

Assume this is a one-panel throwaway reference, 'something Gotham, something something Batman and Catwoman'. Minimal details."

[x]Ask Rebecca what she knows about the Batman comic books.
[x]Grill catwoman (Ha! there's a thought) about Bruce Wayne. She's a thief, he's rich, she's probably at least scouted out his place.
[x]Sit back, plan, and let things happen, Maybe make something with a bit more kick if you can. If you don't do anything at all then people stop focusing on you and you gain more freedom of movement. (The Joker probably wouldn't like doing this though.)
[x]Watch carefully to see exactly who gets the second key. Once you find out who, head out ASAP and hit them while they're recovering from the fight.
[x] Have the henches start tunneling under Wayne Mannor. Gonna need a way in.
>> No. 46061
>>46058
>[x]Ask Rebecca what she knows about the Batman comic books.

Sure, break the fourth wall in fron of the others, what a great idea. And if Rebecca knew more than us on this, she would have made a comment when the game started.
>> No. 46070
>>46061
You're the Joker, insane is par for the course.
>> No. 46072
[x]Grill catwoman (Ha! there's a thought) about Bruce Wayne. She's a thief, he's rich, she's probably at least scouted out his place.
[x] Get another update on the arkham asylum. You need to know if someone else went there and if the bat has already arrived.
-[x] You need some heavy weapons. Acquiring them while the bat is busy with arkham should be smooth.
[x] Have the minions watch carefully to see exactly who gets the second key. Once you find out who, head out ASAP and hit them while they're recovering from the fight.
-[x] The one with the key will probably be the one being chased by the others.
[x] A couple of kidnappings could help you escape the bat, if needed...
-[x] Alfred is fine, even if Catwoman said he's dangerous, somewhat.
[x] If you don't have the manpower for everything, priorize getting weapons and chasing the key.
>> No. 46075
[x]Ask Rebecca what she knows about the Batman comic books.
[x]Grill catwoman (Ha! there's a thought) about Bruce Wayne. She's a thief, he's rich, she's probably at least scouted out his place.
[x] Get another update on the arkham asylum. You need to know if someone else went there and if the bat has already arrived.
[x] Have the minions watch carefully to see exactly who gets the second key. Once you find out who, head out ASAP and hit them while they're recovering from the fight.
[x] Have the henches start tunneling under Wayne Mannor. Gonna need a way in.
>> No. 46076
[x]Ask Rebecca what she knows about the Batman comic books.
[x]Grill catwoman (Ha! there's a thought) about Bruce Wayne. She's a thief, he's rich, she's probably at least scouted out his place.
[x] Get another update on the arkham asylum. You need to know if someone else went there and if the bat has already arrived.
[x] Have the minions watch carefully to see exactly who gets the second key. Once you find out who, head out ASAP and hit them while they're recovering from the fight.
[x] Have the henches start tunneling under Wayne Manor. Gonna need a way in.

Tunnel in for the lulz.
>> No. 46100
[x] Don't ask Rebecca what she knows about the Batman comic books.
[x] Grill catwoman (Ha! there's a thought) about Bruce Wayne. She's a thief, he's rich, she's probably at least scouted out his place.
[x] Get another update on the arkham asylum. You need to know if someone else went there and if the bat has already arrived.
[x] Have the minions watch carefully to see exactly who gets the second key. Once you find out who, head out ASAP and hit them while they're recovering from the fight.
[x] Keep an eye out for Yukarin.

What a grand series of events we've gotten up to. How come no one's worried about Yukarin, though? She saved us of her own accord, even going against Yukari's will. It kind of hurts, reading how she was whisked away while asking us to save her.

I really hope she comes back after this is all over.
>> No. 46120
>>46100
I would be worried about Yukarin if I wasn't ignoring this story until this subplot completed.
>> No. 46129
>>46120
>ignoring this story until this subplot completed.

Why would you do that?
>> No. 46159
>>46129
The first adventure had us being us, which meant that the things we did could carry over as personal development in the regular quest.

Since we're playing characters, though, it's like this is a side quest where nothing really matters.
>> No. 46162
>>46159

So, in this one, we can add scatology and furryism to John's fetish list while blaming the Joker?

Let's get started then.
>> No. 46163
>>46162

I think he meant relationship-wise. You know, with the other participants? John was John and Jack was Jack in the last subplot, but in this one, John is Joker and Jack is...someone/no one.
>> No. 46179
Kahi? You alright?
>> No. 46182
>>Kahi you alright?

He's been sidetracked by someone elses Ranma CYOA on SB.
>> No. 46183
>>46182
Amongst other things. Last I heard his internet access was a touch on the spotty side as well.
>> No. 46185
I'm just hoping that since he's back on Ranma we'll see more Neverland soon.
>> No. 46186
Well, Kahi start another quest at SB. Though it is much, much, shorter than the one at here.

He does seems rather busy, though.
>> No. 46187
>>46185
Second.
>> No. 46189
I just wished he would get on the Google Doc's chat again.
>> No. 46191
>>46190

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Asol9fbKDJgadG5PLUE2UDFGM01RVVB1RlN0X1FwOUE&hl=en_US#gid=0
>> No. 46192
>>46184
>>46185
>>46186
>>46190
How ever many there are of you, sage your damn non-votes.
>> No. 46197
File 134275610357.gif - (115.08KB , 260x645 , Get Digging.gif ) [iqdb]
46197
"If you'll excuse me, I want a quick.... word. In private." You drawl salaciously.

Harlbecca only has the time for a soft, surprised noise before you sweep her up off her feet and retreat to.... yeah, it's a bedroom. You seem to recall always having a point of one being secured and soundproofed in your hideouts, because things get loud, and.... that isn't the point.

".... You know we're in a comic book, right?" You ask.

"Hm? I had guessed, dear." She says, shrugging. "Is that terribly important?"

"It might be. Do you know... anything at all, about this?" You ask hopefully.

"Ah... I'm afraid, my dear, that I never cared much for western-style comics." She says with a sigh. "I think I read some of that spider fellow, and a couple others... but my interests were generally elsewhere, and I'm afraid that I didn't... And then of course, after the marriage, I began to become more fond of classic literature, among other things."

You curse. In your head, not out loud.

"So you don't know... anything?" You sigh. That's a problem. You start to turn.

"You can't leave yet." She points out, and continues at your frown. "They think we're... you know."

"... So?"

"Well, you could leave, I suppose. Do you mind, terribly, the thought of all those minions calling you 'quick shot' behind your back?"

You don't really see how that's such a terrible... oh. Oh.

You sit down. Several awkward minutes pass, as you hesitantly engage in idle chatter, but she shakes her head as your eyes wander to the door. You wait several more before you can actually leave without incident.

".... Kitten!" You say, noting that she has co-opted one of your minions into a foot massage while waiting. "Tell me, do you know... anything about this Wayne person?"

"Beyond what's listed in these?" She asks, waving at the files. ".... He's smarter than he lets on. Or at least, he figured out my proclivities and mode of operations fairly quickly. I think I could go through the mansion with a fine toothed comb, and not find anything cat-related and valuable that he hasn't already liquidated. Valuables, certainly, but well... that's hardly as much of a thrill."

.... That doesn't exactly bode well, though you couldn't have assumed that he was a stupid man.

A quick check shows that, through Harlbecca's translation of static noise, things have settled down at the Asylum. Batman and Robin have entered. Thus far, everyone is on the interior and can't be observed...

You make sure they know to call in right when someone leaves, and if it looks like someone in specific is being chased.

"We need to dig in from the underneath of the mansion." You decide.

"Hardly like you, Jack. Normally, you would just go through the front door, wouldn't you?"

"Time and Place, Kitten."

"Just saying. It should be fine, though. From what I remember of surveys.... that mansion is sitting on a maze of hundreds of caverns. Like an ant warren. Just keep knocking through stone walls and digging up in the right direction."

"... Well? You heard the lady, didn't you? Onward, my little clowns. Find a shovel and go!"

You point out a few henches, and they scramble to do the hard labor. Such good little minions they are.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 46204
[x] Discuss battle plans while you're waiting for a report from Arkham. You probably won't be able to outrun Croc and Grundy again, so a plan to deal with them would be nice.
-[x] Don't forget the others contestants either. Not everyone else was at Arkham.
>> No. 46205
[x] Ask Harlbecca her opinion: should you try to acquire weapons with more kick to them for securing the safe, or lie in wait near arkham with your full force to try to get the other key?
-[x] Do whichever she suggests. And yes, Catwoman will join in too, even if she moves indenpendetly.
>> No. 46211
[x] Discuss plans for the future now.
-[x] Ask Harlbecca and Catwoman their opinion: should you try to acquire weapons with more kick to them for securing the safe, or lie in wait near arkham with your full force to try to get the other key?
-[x] Do whichever they suggest.
--[x] Catwoman is a better thief than you, though. So that's a bonus point for going after the second key.

Well, making way to the manor is in progress. Now we just need the other key and maybe weapons of mass destruction.
>> No. 46260
High levels of physical skill, able to subtly control large amounts of money, willing to beat up criminals.

It's obvious 'Alfred Pennyworth' is the Batman.
>> No. 46261
File 134333111370.gif - (914.48KB , 245x168 , alfreds batman.gif ) [iqdb]
46261
>>46260
>> No. 46405
So, is Kahi still busy with that Ranma CYOA or something?

Can someone put link to it? Because I have no idea what SB is.
>> No. 46408
Never mind. I found it.
>> No. 46414
This one, I think. His handle is Chibi-Reaper. http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/ranma-quest.228815/
>> No. 46541
File 134521184571.jpg - (97.78KB , 512x384 , doot de doo~.jpg ) [iqdb]
46541
"Alright." You say, keeping yourself as level and serious as you can as you take a seat. "You're good at sneaky things, isn't that right, Kitten? Do you think you could steal the key from Arkham?"

Catwoman stares flatly at you.

"... If I'd gotten there first? Sure. By this point, though, Jack? No chance. Best bet is that someone already has it, and there's a grand riot going on in the asylum to figure out who gets to keep it."

"Tch... could be a problem." You grumble.

The mansion.

"... You could slip into the Wayne's place, though." You say aloud. "Find out where the safe is."

"That depends." She says, shaking her head. "Rich man, and he has a lot of security. Slipping in can be done, but it's not easy. Going in through the tunnel, though... it'll bypass all the exterior security, but there's not much that can be done to hide a tunnel. You'll have until someone finds it, and then they'll know for sure that someone is there."

"Yes, yes... weapons!" You continue. "Harl?"

"Small arms aren't really very good against some." She says, waving a hand at the pistols, and then moves on to point at the assault rifles. "We have options, but even so, there are cases where it would require sustained fire for the right effect. So... a trap, or find superior munitions. We have the equipment for some more basic explosives, along with Smilex..."

"What options do we have for getting more weapons?" You press.

".... Pawn stores and arms dealers won't really have anything much above this. There is, however..."

She pauses, and thinks.

"I believe there's an armory for the national guard located on the outskirts of the city?" She says. "But I seem to recall... something about robots?"

"Most likely automated defenses." Catwoman says, dryly. "Not exactly the best idea to leave a weapons stockpile lightly guarded in this town. Just any sort of person could get ahold of something they shouldn't. I could slip past, of course, but it would be tricky going, and only one person can only carry so much... logistics are a concern. But that's a quiet theft. The louder kind, like you prefer... well there'll still be logistics. You'll have to take out the defenses, and the second you attack, there'll be a distress signal sent out to alert personnel and armed forces. You'll have a narrow window of time to both put the security out of commission and get your weapons."

You frown in thought.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 46543
Yeah... if we hit the armory hard, it seems pretty certain we wouldn't be getting any more break tonight. And we don't have the manpower to fend off an heavy assault. But we do need something to deal with the 'heavier' contestants.

[x] Quiet theft. You just need enough explosives to deal with Croc and probably Grundy. No need to give the Bat a reason to go after you right after Arkham.
>> No. 46545
[x] Can't she sabotage security a little? Like, turn off the power and/or shut down these robots? Spread some gas in the ventilation systems so every living guard dies smiles hysteriously? Or whatever that might help.
-[x] If yes, then have her sneak inside so your forces can go in and take as much as possible.
-[x] If not, then quiet theft might be for the better. Just make sure to grab the really good ones, at least two of them, so you can harley can go croc-hunting.

Finally! You have noe idea of how much I missed this.
>> No. 46546
>>46545
I may be wrong, but I don't think Catwoman would enjoy helping or committing mass murder with Smilex here.
>> No. 46556
[x] Assault the armory and get everything from it. Do get a good amount of explosives and arm them in various locations of the city to keep the bat in check.

This will be fun.
>> No. 46560
>>46556
Dude, we have more or less 10 guys with us. As much as we may want it all, it's simply not possible.
>> No. 46593
[x] Quiet theft. You just need enough explosives to deal with Croc and probably Grundy. No need to give the Bat a reason to go after you right after Arkham.

We have assault rifles for the mooks to kill other mooks, so we only need to get reaquainted with dear Mr. Potassium Chlorate to deal with other villains.
>> No. 46617
>>46593

Eh, I'd love to have everyone armed with flamethrowers and the like. Guess that's unlikely to happen, though.

[x] Quiet theft. Grab the two best weapons she carry.
>> No. 46634
[x] Hit Wayne enterprises and see if they have any tech that might help, this will most likely have the pleasant side effect of making Wayne leave his mannor.
>> No. 46743
File 134626669228.jpg - (279.82KB , 850x1187 , Suitably Animu.jpg ) [iqdb]
46743
"It goes against the grain, but I suppose you're right. We'll have to do this quietly."

"I'm sure it just burns you up inside, Jack." Catwoman says, dryly. "I'll need a getaway driver. Every time I go in and out will be a little more dangerous, and the longer a car is left right nearby, the more chance there is for suspicion to rise. I can guarantee something, but everything after the first trip is a big 'maybe', and I can't grab anything high-risk right off the bat."

"You can't... you know... hotwire the robots, or something, kitten?"

"What, are you kidding? I've had a look at them, and they're set up in an annoying system. Each of them is constantly devoting some processing power to check up on every other robot in the area. I could try messing about with one, but the second I do, alarms go up just the same as if I'd blown it up. If I could tamper with the central server for the whole mass, that would be a different story, but all I know about that is that it's not anywhere near Gotham."

... That does make some sense, you guess. They want the weapons at hand in case they're needed, because this is Gotham, but because it's Gotham, they don't want anyone able to steal the lot without trouble.

You sigh and wave her off, and she collects a minion before she goes.

.... With that one, the two watching the asylum, one still off looking for a new computer, and the three digging, you're down to only five available, yourself, and Harley.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 46745
[x] Get a new report from the minions watching the asylum.
[x] Think of ways of keeping the Bat off you (physically). Take hostages, plant bombs in hospitals/orphanages/etc...whatever is effective against these Good types of guys.
-[x] Or, depending of the report you get, go to the asylum too, either to get the key or to get rid of some competition. Take everyone available with you, armed with everything you have.

I have no idea of what to do now.
>> No. 46749
[x] Get a new report from the minions watching the asylum.
[x] Think of ways of keeping the Bat off you (physically). Take hostages, plant (decoy and non decoy) bombs in hospitals/orphanages/radio antennas/banks/strategic locations... whatever is effective against these Good types of guys.
-[x] Maybe set up some paint sprays or clues about a "new villain" like the "Queen in Purple" or something mystical and Eldritch to throw the Bat off of you in a herring chase. But nothing that would spell "Yukari" and/or piss her off.

Maybe it would be better to stay away from the Asylum until we get some good weapons, the place is now the "hottest" location, Batman is there/is on his way, and going there guns totting might not be the wisest idea (for trying to keep us alive and going).
Also, it might be a good idea to take a page or two from Ledgher's Joker and set up decoys, traps, etc. to keep Batman away, but nothing that would make him lock his sights on us (example, an explosive would be fine in strategycal places like roads, bridges and communication towers, but an hospital would make the bat to drop everything else and go for our head).

The subvote is because in comics multiple villiains working at the same time, means that some kind of "crisis crossover" is up, and everyone of those either has: one of the big fish as their leader (luthor, or in this case Joker would be on the suspects list) or has a cosmic force acting on its whims (which oddly enough is what's going on here, although not in the traditional sense). John (or Rebecca) would know this if he (she) has read any big comics event. If I'm talking nonsense then ignore the subvote as needed.
>> No. 46753
[x] Get a new report from the minions watching the asylum.
[x] Think of ways of keeping the Bat off of you (physically). Plant real or decoy bombs in hospitals, orphanages, radio antennas, banks, strategic locations... whatever is effective against these Good types of guys.
[x] Wait until the kitten gets back before heading to the asylum.

If we're going into a war zone, we might as well go in fully equipped.
>> No. 46757
[x] Get a new report from the minions watching the asylum.
[x] Think of ways of keeping the Bat off of you (physically). Take hostages, plant real or decoy bombs in hospitals, orphanages, radio antennas, banks, strategic locations... whatever is effective against these Good types of guys.
>> No. 47019
[x] Hit Wayne enterprises and see if they have any tech that might help, this will most likely have the pleasant side effect of making Wayne leave his mannor.
[x] Have remaining minions search for and observe the hideouts of the other villains.

We've been focusing on the bat too much ppl. he might be one of the biggest threats, but we still need to get the key from whoever gets away from arkham with it. We locate their base, then when the minion watching lets us know who gets away first we set up an ambush.
>> No. 47020
>>47019
Your argument for logic was lost the moment you posted that first line in your vote.

The second isn't much better. How about you check to see if your minions saw which one got the key or which one left the asylum first?
>> No. 47049
File 134838988992.gif - (41.97KB , 762x1032 , FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.gif ) [iqdb]
47049
Harlbecca dials up the minions and requests a status report, when you suggest it.

She gets static back in response, but strangely, frowns at it. Not like the static which she nodded and paid attention to, before.

"... That's odd. I'm not getting a response. Unless they abandoned their radio, something must have happened."

Well, you could have guessed that yourself.

There's no reason to get snippy and complain about it, though.

After a moment, though a different, and vaguely.... archaic-sounding static comes through. A dark cast comes over Harl's face.

"The Cavalier says that he has removed two of our pawns from the game." She says flatly.

There's a sudden upswing of static and popping noises, and the radio goes dead.

That asshole with the sword.

You take a deep breath.

Then you say something very impolite, very loudly. The minions present sort of shift and shuffle out of your direct line of sight, trying not to catch your attention as they do.

It takes a few minutes and some intense focus, but the urge to go out and indiscriminately slaughter someone fades away. You channel the impulse into thinking about distractions.

Violent distractions. Flashy distractions. Hilarious distractions. If you could get a serial killer, a clown, and a nun to walk into an orphanage, why, that would be just like the start of a joke~

.... There's a loud and heavy 'thump' from outside of the hideout.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47050
[x] Ignore the obvious hint that we should go check outside
[x] Go check outside. Preferably, not alone.

I don't see any real reason for this vote. Filler, I guess.

Also, who's this Cavalier?
>> No. 47051
>> 47050 According to wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cavalier_%28comics%29

Eccentric thief supervillian essentially.
>> No. 47063
[x] Go check outside. Preferably, not alone.

Do we even need to vote this time?
>> No. 47073
File 134870886311.jpg - (16.10KB , 425x300 , Its The Box.jpg ) [iqdb]
47073
The noise could just be Catwoman getting back with the goods.

... Isn't it a bit early for that, though? Unless she set off all the alarms right away, or something, anyway.

You grab a minion before stepping outside and looking around.

Dingy atmosphere, dark, streetlights flickering. Typical Gotham. No sign of anything out of the ordinary, or anything that would make a loud noise like that....

You squint.

A little down that way.... there's a box sitting on the ground. You can't read the writing on it at this distance, but the image of the computer on it is blatantly obvious.

Your eyes flick around, once again seeing nothing out of the ordinary on the road. A few alley turnoffs, no real traffic at the moment, one or two manholes down into the sewers... typical and average things.

Nevertheless, there's a slight itch at the back of your neck, warning of unknown but rapidly increasing danger, from somewhere very close.

We are fucked.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47074
>There's a computer box on the street.
>Earlier we sent a minion to get a new computer.
>No minion.
>Inminent danger.

[x] It's probably nothing
[x] Watch the roofs!
[x] Roll out of the way at the first sign of danger.
[x] Didn't you have weapons on you? Be ready to use them if necessary.
[x] Still nothing? Minion, check that box!

Yeah, caught off-guard is pretty much a game over, joker inmunity or not.
Good to see this isn't dead.
>> No. 47075
[x] It's probably nothing
[x] Watch the roofs!
[x] Roll out of the way at the first sign of danger.
[x] Didn't you have weapons on you? Be ready to use them if necessary.
[x] Still nothing? Minion, check that box!

Well, things look promising. The hideout has just been discovered by someone else.
>> No. 47079
File 134878204912.jpg - (20.61KB , 250x303 , I SEE YOU.jpg ) [iqdb]
47079
You draw a pistol. Normal bullets, you think, but you're a bit distracted by your gaze rising to the roofline, watching for the ambush you know is coming.

The minion seems to suddenly get really tense in response to this, clutching his tommy gun worriedly, but you wave him forward to the box, still keeping your eyes peeled.

No, no you idiot, not the roofs, a Crocodile attack is going to come from the sewers.

... Your eyes snap down, just as a cracking noise erupts, and scaly hands grip onto the minion's ankles.

"Found you." The lizard-man's voice echoes, as the minion squeezes the trigger of his gun, firing haphazardly into the concrete.

It doesn't do any good, and with a scream, he's torn down through a new hole in the sidewalk.

Whatever you do, do it FAST.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47080
[x] Set yourself on fire.
Killercroc cant touch you if you are on fire.
>> No. 47081
[x] Shoot him once and observe if it does anything to him. Then run back to the hideout screaming for reinforcements.

Well, damn.
>> No. 47082
Goddamn called it. Told you guys Croc can track like no one else. And at this point, I'll bet he'll kill us even if we gave up on the key just to make sure we don't try something later.

Anyway, unless Joker gaz can get to him, we have nothing to stop Croc right now. Retreat on a car is the only option, because we all remember how trying to outrun Croc on foot ended.

Funny enough, with our act earlier, we could actually call Gordon for help if we do manage to get to the car. Just by asking him to set an ambush we could drive by.

[x] Back inside, shout to everyone that it's time to run, then get to a car and away from here FAST.
-[x] There's still that car you came here with, right?
>> No. 47083
>>47082

How about ordering the minions to use the gas on Croc?
>> No. 47085
I believe it's been noted that handguns won't do much to Croc beyond tickling him a little, but the gas was still a threat. So, to me, you either run back inside and look for something that reliably shoots gas, or you can take your chances with the box, which may or may not be a trap. And, thinking on it, might be on the other side of the hole Croc just put in the sidewalk.
>> No. 47086
[x] Run back inside, shout at everyone to prepare for Croc.
[x] Try and use our stockpile of gasoline to set Croc on fire.
If the fire doesn't work on him enough to make him run, or we can't actually light him on fire, then.
[x] Get Harlbecca, get to the car, and GET AWAY.
>> No. 47088
[x] Thank him for bringing your new computer, but that you don't really have any tip for him.
-[x] Run back inside and scream for everyone to get the gas weapons and get ready for Croc.

Well, we're fucked.
>> No. 47091
[x] Thank him for bringing your new computer, but that you don't really have any tip for him.
[x] Run back inside and shout at everyone to prepare a nice, warm welcome for our special guest.
-[x] Try and use Joker gas if Croc doesn't take kindly to our hospitality.
-[x] If it doesn't work, get Harlbecca to the car and GET AWAY.

Need to stay in character and keep the puns coming, guys.
>> No. 47094
[x]If you think you can grab the box(or at least a sample of what's inside) and get inside before Croc snags you, do so; otherwise just get back inside.
[x]Warn Harlbecca and the flunkies, and prepare whatever unconventional weaponry you may have lying around(and don't forget the gas masks for anyone still vulnerable to the stuff); small arms fire isn't going to do much to Croc.
-[x]If you happen to have some sort of medium to wide area gas bombs lying around, arm one and chuck it in the hole if possible.
[x]If this place has a second floor, you may wish to move up to it. At the very least, send a flunky down to the basement to keep an ear out for Croc smashing his way in from the sewers.
>> No. 47095
>>47091
I couldn't think of any relating to crocodiles on fire, didn't even think of just doing it just fire based.
>> No. 47137
File 134939723857.jpg - (139.80KB , 500x333 , Bad End.jpg ) [iqdb]
47137
The hole is smack between you and the computer box. Given the stopped screams and the crunching noises, you aren't getting too close to that hole. Not happening.

Fire, gas, something. Use it!

"Thank you for delivering my new computer." You say, spinning on your heel and already sprinting for the door. The pavement behind you explodes upwards as croc leaps through it, claws parting your jacket, but missing the chance to sink into flesh or grab hold. "I'm afraid I don't have a tip though, ahahahaha..."

Croc bellows as you slam the heavy door shut behind you.

It won't hold long. That much you can tell just from his first shoulder-ram into it. You don't have minutes, you have perhaps seconds.

"Croc croc croc croc croc croc tick-tock, no, I don't have the proper hat or hook for that one. Gas! Any kind of gas! Fire! Laughter! Hahahahaha!" You order, as well as you can under the circumstances.

Harl takes up the lead of the minions, and within what seems like an eyeblink everyone, including her, is wearing a mask. Right, the variant you shoot from the pistols works on skin contact too, but the current stockpile, now hissing its way out into the warehouse, is inhalation-only.

A couple barrels of gasoline get chucked haphazardly into the right spot. They crack from the fall, of course, spreading the liquid around, but one remains whole. You take aim at that, with a normal pistol.

Croc smashes through the door, bounding in with the same motion, and collides with it.

You open fire, as do one or two of the braver minions.

There's a dull sound of ignition, and an appreciably large fireball. Much of the walls, floor, and ceiling in that area catches. Well, this hideout is pretty much done for, now, once that gets going properly.

Crock barrels through, roaring. Something is wrong. Some of the gasoline is sticking to his scales and still burning...

No.

Shit.

You didn't think of this.

One or the other is fine, but using both...

The fire won't get him immediately. It's clinging to his scales, but not doing any real, immediate damage. The trick will be keeping him in flames long enough to get some internal damage: smoke, burnt lungs, something.

The laughing gas, though.

That's flammable. This type is really flammable.

It's making the fire spread a hell of a lot quicker than before, and you can almost see the flickering flames travel through the air to opened canisters, blowing the still pressurized contents and spreading the blaze.

It's burning off before the gas can have any effect on him.

Damn it.

The warehouse is starting to come down. The fire is spreading too fast. There's still an exit, but some things have collapsed. Croc could jump through that, sure. There's no way you can.

You're going to die.

Fuck everything.

.... Hell if you're letting the lizard just run free after that, though.

"Get out of here, Harl!" You yell, knowing all of his attention is focused on you. Claws shred their way through your vest, tearing you open.

It hurts.

Normal bullets are just plinking off his scales, cracking or chipping one here and there but otherwise doing nothing.

You switch guns.

The gas bullets won't do anything unless you get a good shot, too. But you're already going to die.

You stick your arm in Croc's mouth.

He bites down.

You still fire, roaring in anger.

He doesn't realize what's happened immediately. He pulls. Your arm tears.

Then he starts to laugh.

Unsettling and high pitched at the same time as it's ragged and sounds like Croc has gargled with gravel and hot tar every day of his life.

He understands.

He's dying too, now, if he can't get the antidote.

You know where he could find it. Harl should too. The Bat could probably synthesize up a dose in minutes.

He won't get a god-damn drop.

Hate in his eyes, he grabs your other arm, still laughing manaiacally, and pulls.

Flesh tears and bone cracks.

It's off.

His laughter is interspersed with choking coughs now. The smoke is too thick. You can feel it yourself, burning at your lungs.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

The roof crumbles down, to the echoing sound of small explosions, as one after another the canisters of gas go off.

You can't breathe, the fire is pressing right into you, your face is melting, your body is burning, it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts.

Eventually, the fire dies.

You're still alive.

Impossibly, still alive.

You can't move.

You can hardly breathe.

You would have bled out, if not for the fire burning all of your wounds shut.

You can barely hear and can't see anything, eyes ruined and ears melted shut.

You can feel the rubble being moved aside, though. Every little motion is like endless torment.

Someone nudges you. You think they might be saying something, but you can't make it out. They're going through what's left of your pockets.

They have the key, whoever they are. Is it, somehow, impossibly, undamaged through all that?

You manage to gurgle some kind of noise, throat howling in agony at the attempt.

The responding crack of gunshot is just loud enough that you can hear it.

---

You gasp as you come awake, dripping with sweat and clutching your heart. There's a phantom ache through your lungs and throughout your body. It takes you a moment to register that you have arms again.

You're wearing a high-quality purple suit. Your normal clothes are sitting in front of you, neatly folded, the gun Rebecca's husband gave you right on top.

You definitely lost.

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47138
[X] Well, so much for this game. Is Rebecca nearby? Is she awake?
[X] What time is it anyway?
>> No. 47140
Finally, back to the real portion of this.

Pocket the gun, write a note and leave it on Rebecca, something like "I lost, sorry, hope you didn't lose too, or at least didn't get killed too hard."

Then get back to managing our Yukkuri restaurant.
>> No. 47141
[x] Well, so much for this game. Is Rebecca nearby? Is she awake?
-[x] If she is, remain by her side until she wakes up. Her husband did trust us to take care of her, after all.
[x] What time is it, anyway?
>> No. 47144
All of this and we lost? Fuck this shit.
>> No. 47145
>>47144
That's why I don't like these game sidequests. We can spend months sitting in one for absolutely no benefit.
>> No. 47148
Are you fucking kidding me? We lost and the key was taken by someone not Rebecca?
>> No. 47150
[x] Well, so much for this game. Is Rebecca nearby? Is she awake?
-[x] If she is, remain by her side until she wakes up. Her husband did trust us to take care of her, after all.
[x] What time is it, anyway?
´[x] Analyze surroudings.

I'm slightly disappointed.
>> No. 47157
Tallying the votes for the previous update:

1 vote for self immolation
1 vote for shooting, then running like a pussy
1 vote for retreat
1 vote for kill it with fire
2 votes for gas weapons
1 vote for pun, then gas, then escape

Exactly zero votes for combining gas and fire.

In addition, I cannot ever recall a single instance (in the DCU or DCAU) of Joker Venom ever being flammable, and I ask you to prove me wrong on this.

TLDR: Nice fucking railroading there, Kahi. Well, back to Yukkuri banging season then.
>> No. 47164
>>47157
You mean you DON'T want to have sex with animated pastry dolls that look like prepubescent children?
>> No. 47166
>>47164

He never said that.
>> No. 47171
[x] Well, so much for this game. Is Rebecca nearby? Is she awake?
-[x] If she is, remain by her side until she wakes up. Her husband did trust us to take care of her, after all.
[x] What time is it, anyway?
[x] Analyze surroudings.
-[x] If there are other competitors besides Rebecca, consider what possible effects killing them here might have on themin the game.
-[x] If there is only Rebecca, then just appreciate how well she looks with her cosplay outfit.

I mad. I don't think Rebecca can win alone. There might still a chance of John salvaging the situatin, though.
>> No. 47172
>>47171
You can't be seriously suggesting to actually kill competitors in order to remove them from the game, can you? You must be one of those people who play CoD and scream about tracking down your opponents IRL to fight them, you psychopath. Let's not be petty about this game, because it is in fact just a game. There's still a restaurant to manage, and even though there's no formal police force in the City, I'm pretty sure someone would care if we became a murderer, and it's hard to manage a business from jail.
>> No. 47175
>>47172
>You can't be seriously suggesting to actually kill competitors in order to remove them from the game, can you?

Not really, but I consider the thought to be amusing.

>You must be one of those people who play CoD and scream about tracking down your opponents IRL to fight them, you psychopath.

lol

>Let's not be petty about this game, because it is in fact just a game. There's still a restaurant to manage, and even though there's no formal police force in the City, I'm pretty sure someone would care if we became a murderer, and it's hard to manage a business from jail.

Actually, think about it. The participants were invited to a game created by the Demon Queen. Would the city's people consider a game hosted by someone called Demon Queen to be safe? I don't think they would be too suspicious of someone dieing as a result of failing to entertain her.

They are probably somewhere isolated from the city proper. The first game's exit was who knows where, and the charaters had to walk quite a bit. If someone goes missing because of the game, who would know? Only the Queen herself, that's for sure.

And maybe one of the participants is one of the people who wants to see John dead for real. Who knows, one of them might even be the owner of that Flandre...

Anywa, if you're wary of killing them, then we could just loot whatever they might have. John's possesisons are with him, the others might have something decent to make up for losing the game.
>> No. 47176
I highly oppose any vote that involves murdering people just so we could win the game.

Going through their pockets for loot, though, that sounds good.
>> No. 47179
>>47157
You do realize that for the us to win we had to funny? All of the votes in this section were terrible anyway.
>> No. 47180
File 134990747844.jpg - (597.19KB , 720x900 , Pic Unrelated.jpg ) [iqdb]
47180
There are two chairs in an otherwise empty room. You're in one.

Rebecca, yawning and blinking and dressed in a very tight rubber harlequin suit, is in another.

"... This is a bit more... immodest than I recall." Rebecca says, uncertainly.

You don't mind. You really don't mind.

... It looks like it's well after dark, but you can't tell the exact time.

"What happened?" You ask. "After... you know."

"Ah, well. After retreating, I located mister Tetch's hide-away, and I'm afraid I rather bullied the man into submission." Rebecca explains. "He attempted to place one of his little cards in my hair... you know, I was blonde beneath the cap? It seems that was a preference... but I managed to turn matters around and place one in his own hat. Following this, his resources were at my disposal, though unfortunately, when we made our way back to the hideout you had already been looted, dear."

"Yes, after that...?"

"Um... well, several things happened, and then we were captured by Nightwing and Batgirl, along with miss Ivy. Batman had relieved her of the silver key, but it turns out that they were other, opposing contestants, with differing goals."

She frowns and rubs her chest.

"I'm afraid that Batman was rather crass, and an argument was started about whether or not it was fine to do as one pleased to people that weren't real. Of course, Ivy and I pointed out that we were real, but then Batman countered that if we weren't, given conditions being what they were, we would claim to be anyway. Fortunately, Ra's al Ghul and the Great White Shark chose this time to make a strike for the silver key while tempers were running high and divisions were showing, and I took the opportunity to escape my confinement."

She frowns.

"It was not long after that... I am not sure of his name. Doctor Freeze? Notified all of Gotham that he had prepared a device that would instantly freeze over all of the city in a miniature ice age, set to go off at dawn exactly. I believe this may have been built in as a final time-limit. I remained for a while, but with no way of determining who held the keys in their possession, and not being interested in being frozen solid, I'm afraid I retreated from the battlefield only a little before dawn. And then the sun rose, and the game was over."

.... You're almost sorry you managed to miss all that.

"You know, I don't think anyone won this game." Rebecca muses. "Still, it was quite an interesting diversion."

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47181
[x] If no one won the game, then that's slightly better. At least you aren't further behind in the contest because of it.
-[x] Next time you will win, for sure.
[x] Collect stuff, make note that at least now you have a suit. Also compliment Rebecca, again, yes.
-[x] Loot stuff, if you find anything.
>> No. 47182
[x] If no one won the game, then that's slightly better. At least you aren't further behind in the contest because of it.
-[x] Next time you will win, for sure.
[x] Collect stuff, make note that at least now you have a suit.
-[x] Try and find your and Rebecca's old clothes. Who knows what her husband would think if she came back dressed like this?
>> No. 47183
[x] If no one won the game, then that's slightly better. At least you aren't further behind in the contest because of it.
-[x] Next time you will win, for sure.
[x] Collect stuff, make note that at least now you have a suit.
[x] Apologize for screwing up. You didn't even have time to do anything together.

>-[x] Try and find your and Rebecca's old clothes. Who knows what her husband would think if she came back dressed like this?

He would probably feel a few decades younger, IYKWIM
>> No. 47812
File 13572466019.jpg - (317.83KB , 1000x1000 , dutch-silver-tea-pot-antique-eagle-spout.jpg ) [iqdb]
47812
Well, if nobody won...

Well, it's not like being one more loser matters much, then. You played your part well enough. And it's not like you came out of it having lost anything, in fact you have a brand new suit now.

A brand new... purple suit.

You think it might be velvet, a bit.

"I look like a pimp, don't I." You sigh.

"... You pull off the look rather dashingly."

"A dashing pimp. Wonderful."

You groan as you rise to your feet, and find yourself one of those little folding screens to change back into your clothes behind. Rebecca's own clothes are right there as well, so you pass off the screen to her when you're through.

... You discover, much to your chagrin, that the screen blocks off obvious detail, but the silhouette is...

Risque? Getting you all hot and bothered, under the collar?

Yes, shut up.

Rebecca comes around the screen with a slight smile that says she had to have known that she was putting on just a little bit of a show, the jester motley folded up neatly and stuffed in her purse.

.... Well, it's kind of dark out by now. Might as well walk her back home, even if the game was kind of.... okay, yeah, a total flop.

"Come in, dear, I'll have the kettle on in a moment." Rebecca calls, from ahead. You guess you still have to return that handgun, too, so...

Hm, you remember this room. The Green room? Yeah. Still very nice.

There's a little noise from behind your chair, and then something drops down on your shoulders, putting hands over your eyes.

"Guess~ Who~" the mystia trills.

"Cus-to-mer~?" the youmu hums, in your other ear?

---

11:53 PM

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47814
Well, we can stay and relax or return now. remember that we already called Frank to take the morning shift next day anyway.
>> No. 47815
[X] While both of you ladies are very beautiful; I must decline with the sincerest of regrets.
[X] Inquire into the possibility of crashing in a guest room instead of walking home this late at night.

Sleepover at Rebecca. Hopefully she is well stocked on Totino's Pizza Rolls.
>> No. 47818
Do we have any unfinished business with yukkuri at our apartment?

Like that bloody grafitti, for example. Or text. Discuss?
>> No. 47821
HOORAY! CQ still lives!

[x] Entertein them a bit. Meiling? Suika, right? Hmm, maybe Chen?
-[X] You're not here for services, unfortunatly.
-[x] Just have some cuddling and hugging, maybe.
[X] Inquire into the possibility of crashing in a guest room instead of walking home this late at night.

I might need to read the past few threads again, as I've forgotten so much stuff.
>> No. 47822
File 135733147437.jpg - (355.31KB , 673x1009 , close enough.jpg ) [iqdb]
47822
Hm. Just who could it be.

"Is it Nitori?" You ask, whimsically.

You're answered, naturally, by giggles as Rebecca enters again with tea.

"Not here for business though, sorry. Though, while I'm here... it's gotten late. I hate to beg a room, but if it would be possible to nap here until dawn."

"Mm... I don't think Edward would be pleased with that, really..." She muses. Then she smiles. "Perhaps we just won't tell him? I'll have Duncan around to wake you and show you out at dawn, then."

Yeah...

You feel a lot better about that than walking home in the dark, after everything today. The room is less lavish, so you're guessing it's spare servant's quarters or something, but it's still a little decadent.

You're asleep almost as soon as your head hits the pillow.

---

... You feel a tongue trailing along you.

You groan, softly, as your eyes flutter open to reveal the red hair... you rub the sleep out of your eyes. The blonde hair of Rainbow, smiling up at you.

"Good morning. Daddy~" She hums around...

Your bedroom is actually completely empty, which is an odd state at this point. It's not like you really have much attention to spare, as she slides up you with a soft flapping noise. Her red eyes meet yours, and you can only groan as she eases you into place.

... Feels wrong. Startling, to notice the difference. Warm, and wet, and slimy yet satisfying, but... not the correct feeling. You blink at her smile, fangs of a predator replaced with a row of even, white teeth.

"Feels good, Daddy?" she purrs, moving your hand into place to fondle at chest and... wrong, also. "You like it... when I do this. You pervert~"

Your whole body feels...

Heavy.

Like you're sitting at the bottom of the ocean, and every little motion you try to make takes the sort of effort that...

"Well... it's not that I dislike that kind of human, though~" she hums softly, wings nestled around you like leathery sheets. "Just lie back. Relaaaax. And look forward to your happy, happy ending~"

... Something is.

Very wrong?

---

[ ] What do you do?
>> No. 47824
[X] Ending? Ending is bad. WAKE UP!
>> No. 47825
[X] Wake Up.
>> No. 47826
Heads up. We have Koakuma on the loose. Might be good idea to ask her about various bits, perhaps? Instead of just waking up?
But hell, this is Koakuma.
[x] Wake up!
>> No. 47827
>>47826

But Koakumas are supposed to be insanely small. As small as Shangai, IIRC.

[x] IRON HEART SURGE
>> No. 47828
Is it going to be a 'thing' for people to just drop into John's dreams now? Do we need to set up a welcome mat or something in his head?
[x]Try to wake up.
[x]If that's not working, resist as much as you are able. Try to keep your mind off of what Koa's doing to you. Make conversation, maybe. Just do something other than focus on the pleasure.
>> No. 47830
File 135734285723.jpg - (144.02KB , 849x1201 , sample-5bcf2950b1d3281d8ca5a934e67faedc.jpg ) [iqdb]
47830
>>47827
Not A Koakuma, THE Koakuma.
>> No. 47831
[X]ending IS BAD awAKeN


Thank god she likes to gloat like pre-watchmen villians.
>> No. 47832
>>47830

Welp, that makes things considereably more serious.
>> No. 47833
This is Chbi's Koakuma. So... yeah.
Edited my vote to:
[x] Wake up
[x] Distract yourself from Koakuma's attempt. Talk to her, talk to yourself, say nonsense, etcetera
>> No. 47834
[X] Punch that bitch in the face.
[X] Another person trying to rape me? Fool. you're 1000 years to early to even touch my dick.
>> No. 47835
[x] Awake. Remember you're not in your room nor in your house this is sketchy.
-[x] Identify whatever is upon you.
-[x] If unsucessful think of whatever, don't let it have its way with you.

It's been too long, maybe a recap or whatever might be helpful. So far I remember the Alices are dangerous if left far too long, we have a Letty, the panther Chen, and the coffee shop is going for a rough start. Besides the apartment is drowning in yukkuris (no votes for breeding new generations). A meeting with his mother. And some psycho trying to kill him.
Something else?

Also, nice to seeing this story again.
>> No. 47836
>>47835
Fairly sure Yukari is interested in him a bit.
>> No. 47837
Almost forgot this existed. It's not been updates in quite a while, though.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Asol9fbKDJgadHhyN1N6MzhfZjN1aWR1clpqM0hlNnc#gid=0
>> No. 47848
For things to do, we also need to collar our Daughter-Tenshi and Daughter-Alice, REAL soon. Maybe as soon as we come back to apartment.
>> No. 47857
One thing that bears note. Yukari made an attempt to save us during the game, and was last seen being dragged off by Yukari screaming for us to save her.

We might want to be a little concerned on that front.
>> No. 47861
>>47860

New thread.