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31636 No. 31636
Previous thread: >>>134117
Just gonna have this thread for later, when the story is done. Sorry for fucking around eariler.

>> No. 31640
You should probably just delete the other thread. It's embarrassing to look at, and is just taking space.

>when the story is done
Waiting warmly, I guess.
>> No. 31642
>>31640
Would, but forgot the code. I'm making a horrible impession aren't I?
>> No. 31644
>>31642
Ask a admin to do it in IRC.
>> No. 31648
File 129698343482.png - (211.82KB , 700x354 , 700px-Nicole_Hallucination.png ) [iqdb]
31648
Advantages
- has access to some of his arsenal at the beginning
- physically strong
- is able to jury-rig items to fulfill his needs

Disadvantages
- prone to hallucinations that may lead to the harming of another person or himself
- his habit of swearing may lower the disposition of some people
[x] Elite Advanced RIG
- Plasma Cutter
- Line Gun, Pulse Rifle, Javelin Gun
- kinesis module
- stasis module
- x2 small med-kit(s)
- x1 medium med-kit(s)
- x3 stasis pack(s)
A warning before you go on. This story will have spoilers for Dead Space 2, so read at your own discretion.






GOVERNMENT SECTOR, THE SPRAWL
[TIME UNAVAILIBLE]

Tiedmann was on his knees, struggling to pull out a Javelin spear stuck through his throat. “[i]So much preparation… So much research… All of it… Coming undone,[i]” Tiedmann thought. “[i]Everything, for nothing…[i]”
You stood behind him, aiming the newly obtained Javelin gun at his head. All you can do is smirk at the dying Director of Operations; after all. This bastard did nothing but try to kill you the entire time you were on the Sprawl.

“I’ve had enough of your bullshit,” you say as you pull the trigger. The director’s head explodes, splattering brain matter all over the ground and your RIG.

You drop the Javelin Gun and turn to Nicole, the one who helped you end this nightmare. You fall into her and she catches you in her arms.
“Thank you Isaac,” You rest your head against her breast. Everything is over. Everything can go back- “Now… Time to die.
“What?!” is all can you say before an intense yellow light wraps around you and Nicole. The floor warps into a round black platform, while the air around you is replaced with a noxious yellow mist.
“What the hell is this?!” You cry out. Nicole’s voice echoes inside your head, a cacophony of shrill screams and cries accompany it.

Yours is the last body we need to be reborn! The makers must be absorbed!

“The makers? You mean me?! But Stross said we could destroy the Marker!” The voice lets out a harsh laugh.

Not if we consume you first!

“Goddammit, I trusted you!” As you pull out your Plasma Cutter, Nicole appears several feet in front of you; her eyes and mouth emitting the same sinister glow she had before. “Fuck you…” You aim your Plasma Cutter at the apparition. “And fuck your Marker!”




[ ] Write-in
>> No. 31649
Off to a terrible start. As a person who has never even seen gameplay videos of Dead Space, I honestly have no idea what the fuck just happened. I have no idea who any of these characters are, or why any of these events are important.

Your writing isn't exactly stellar, but this wasn't exactly a huge introduction, so it'll slide until more is seen.

As an aside, asking for a write-in right off the bat has rarely ended on a positive note.

[x]Shoot her dead
>> No. 31650
>>31649
Yeah, I thought that it sucked to. You'd have to watch the scene to get it. But I intend to do better next post. Do you want me to provide a link to that scene?
>> No. 31651
>>31650
Nah, it's cool. I'll eventually figure shit out by context.
>> No. 31652
>>31650
Could you give me some tips on the writing? What I could do to improve it, and things like that.
>> No. 31653
[x]Shoot her dead

How many updates until gensokyo?
>> No. 31654
Yea, write-in from the first post is a bad idea. There's no real choice here other than kill her dead. What's usually done in X-overs like this is to wait until we encounter Touhous or get into Gensokyo before giving choices, unless what we're doing now determines where we are going. Also means there's usually a longer intro post so people can get a better feel for your work.

Also, your italics tags didn't work right(not that I know how to make them work either).

That said:
[X]Kill her dead. Neckshot, then punt her skull through the top of the Marker for maximum points.
>> No. 31656
>>31654
Really, I should have said I would write the next part later. I apoligize for that.
>> No. 31657
>>31654
Italics work like so [i.] Stuff you want italicized [/i.] Simply remove the periods, of course.

Same with bold, strikethrough, underline, or even spoilers. Just go hit up the FAQ to see the code.
>> No. 31658
>>31657
I just forgot to add the slash.
>> No. 31659
>>31653
After one more update, then we'll be in Gensokyo.
>> No. 31660
Gonna get some sleep. Will update later.
>> No. 31665
Scratch that update. I need to plan more of the story out before I can continue. Judging from my intro, I am extremely unprepared. So you're going to have to wait a bit. Either that or you could, if you want to, give me some tips. It'd be appreciated.
>> No. 31666
>>31665
There's this.
http://ljconstantine.com/column3.htm

Take your time.
>> No. 31676
>>31675
Thanks for the link. Is there anything else that wasn't mentioned in the list that I should take into account?
>> No. 31681
>>31666
There is a detailed one in /blue/ for Touhou. But it is in the thread to kick hat and Twitty out.
>> No. 32119
Yeah, I don't think I should continue with this. This was a bad idea from the start.
Maybe later on, I'll come up with something more original. But for now, I'll just practice, and when I think I'm ready, I'll be back.
>> No. 32120
>>32119
I can't say I'm surprised. You seem like an okay guy though, so when you're ready let's try this again, hopefully to better results.