[Return]
Archived thread

File 124732431772.jpg - (40.85KB , 468x345 , newgrange-aerial.jpg ) [iqdb]
21231 No. 21231
OK man, I ain't so good at making up intros but I'll give it a shot.


So first, Imagine this big hilly countryside. Grassy knolls, blue sky, little rabbits going to their burrows fuck their ladies. You know that sort of thing. Except, no fucking blue sky because it's raining you follow me? Now there ain't no rabbits either because A. It's fucking raining B. It's the fucking night time and C. They know what's going to happen, like they get the whole story like some sort of newspaper vendor or something.

Next imagine a path, like going through the hills, as in going over them. This path is made of tarmac or concrete or some shit, so it's more like a road. Now it's raining, so there wouldn't be any cars because the road is slippery, or thats what it would be like if we were living in the fucking sixties. But there ain't any cars on this road anyhow. That's because this is a private road. Like one up to a celebrity's house, but it ain't. Because this road leads to Newgrange, Which is like this super old ruin in Ireland. But there's no one there due to the fucking rain and the fact that it's nighttime.

Now there's this guy, and he's walking along this path. What? You don't care about him? You'd best care about him, he's fucking you. No. Not literally "fucking" but he's you. You get the picture. So anyways, you can't see this guy's face because he's wearing a hood. You're probably thinking, "Yeah, hood, shit, dark, emo character." Wrong, smartass. He's wearing a hood because it's fucking raining! You'd wear a hood if it was raining so stop being a faggot.

Anyway, he's walking down this path, heading towards Newgrange. And there's this girl in a red and white outfit following him. Only she doesn't give a shit out the rain and she's not wearing a hood. Her hair is like sopping wet and stuff. She's being really quiet, like sneaking quiet. And she's hiding behind trees and shit. Probably trying not to be seen by the pinnacle of nonchalance that is yourself.

This guy eventually comes up to the main gate of the ruins. What did he look like again? I couldn't tell because of his mac.

[] Description (Name, age, build, Nationality, Hair colour etc.)

>> No. 21232
Fuck you keyboard,

I accidentally hit enter while I was typing. It should read: Yet another story that doesn't have a title.

Doesn't make a difference but whatever.
>> No. 21233
>You're probably thinking, "Yeah, hood, shit, dark, emo character." Wrong, smartass. He's wearing a hood because it's fucking raining! You'd wear a hood if it was raining so stop being a faggot.

Or because he's a nigger.

On a stolen bicycle.

[x] Can't see jigaboos in the dark anyway.
>> No. 21241
[x] Name: Hellshit Carhouse
[x] Age: 777
[x] Build: Robot
[x] Nationality: Ganymede
[x] Hair color: Brown
[x] Danmaku level: Phantasm
[x] Strength level: Oni
[x] Agility level: Tengu
[x] Charisma level: Depp
[x] Intelligence level: Feynman
[x] Luck level: Akagi
[x] Special ability: Manipulation of senses
[x] Favorite color: Red
[x] Primary objective: Sex with Touhous
>> No. 21242
>>21241
I'd much rather have the charisma of Bruce Campbell, but that's certainly Mary Suey enough.
>> No. 21243
>>21241
>Primary objective: Sex with Touhous

There is only one possible combination of paraemters if you have this objective.

[x] Name: Rance
[x] Age: Any age from 18 to 29
[x] Build: Human male
[x] Hair color: Light Brown
[x] Danmaku level: 9
[x] Strength level: 9
[x] Agility level: 9
[x] Charisma level: -
[x] Intelligence level: 9
[x] Luck level: 9
[x] Special ability: Rance Attack
[x] Favorite color: Rance has no prejudice. Girls of all colors are welcomed.
[x] Primary objective: Sex with Touhous
>> No. 21244
>>21243

Ah, this guy, the Epic Douche of Gilgameshes (second only to the Golden King of Heroes himself), with the sensitivity of a sharkcat.

...oh, what the hell.

SECONDED.

Until further notice.
>> No. 21275
[x] Name: John
[x] Age: 20s
[x] Build: Average human male
[x] Hair color: Brown
[x] Danmaku level: Easy
[x] Strength level: Average
[x] Agility level: Average
[x] Charisma level: Average
[x] Intelligence level: Average
[x] Luck level: Average
[x] Special ability: None
[x] Favorite color: Grey
[x] Primary objective: Survival
>> No. 21278
[x] Name: John
[x] Age: 20s
[x] Build: Average human male
[x] Hair color: Brown
[x] Danmaku level: Easy
[x] Strength level: Average
[x] Agility level: Average
[x] Charisma level: Average
[x] Intelligence level: Average
[x] Luck level: Average
[x] Special ability: None
[x] Favorite color: Grey
[x] Primary objective: Survival
>> No. 21286
>>21243
...Sorry, I can't stop myself. Voting for this.

Sure, it's stupid as hell, but damn. Rance!
>> No. 21289
File 124781404617.jpg - (36.76KB , 640x511 , irish-flag-640.jpg ) [iqdb]
21289
If we're in Ireland, why not play the part?

[x] Name: Michael Collins (Mícheál Ó Coileáin)
[x] Age: 1880-1922†
[x] Build: Strong (endurance athlete, soldiering, manual farm labor)
[x] Hair color: Brown
[x] Danmaku level: Thompson submachine gun
[x] Strength level: Guinness for strength!
[x] Agility level: Couldn't dodge a bullet
[x] Charisma level: Inspiring, handsome, tall; the persuasiveness of a demagogue.
[x] Intelligence level: Director of IRA intelligence unit, who almossinglehandedly wiped out the Irish branch of the British Secret Intelligence.
[x] Luck level: Assassinated.
[x] Special ability: Often held in great esteem, by friend and foe alike.
[x] Favorite color: Green, White, and Orange
[x] Primary objective: Independence
>> No. 21290
[x] Name: John
[x] Age: 20s
[x] Build: Average human male
[x] Hair color: Brown
[x] Danmaku level: Easy
[x] Strength level: Average
[x] Agility level: Average
[x] Charisma level: Average
[x] Intelligence level: Average
[x] Luck level: Average
[x] Special ability: None
[x] Favorite color: Grey
[x] Primary objective: Survival
>> No. 21294
[B]>>21289
>> No. 21296
[X]>>21289
>> No. 21298
[Fuck yeah] >>21289
>> No. 21301
Vote called. Revolutionaries are go.

Writing now, Most likely will be finished tomorrow Irelandfag time.
>> No. 21303
>>21301

Hooray!
>> No. 21306
File 12479349091.jpg - (24.40KB , 300x384 , image001.jpg ) [iqdb]
21306
So you see this guy, he is a big motherfucker. Not Schwarzenegger big, but bigger than you I'll bet. The reason that this guy is so big is because he is the fucking minister of intelligence for the IRA! "But no!" You say. "If he's a minister then surely he must be fat, not strong!" Well listen here you little asshole. Look at that picture. Does that look like a guy you should mess with? No he isn't, so go take your pussynistries and leave me alone.

So this guy Micky here, he goes off and climbs over the fence who doesn't know what the fuck is going on and makes his way towards the heap of mud and rock that is Newgrange. Now this girl following her, she's all sneaky and shit and making her way towards the fence. She seems to be following you and doing a pretty fucking good job of it too. She's even floating over the puddles and the fence using Voodoo magic or whatever. That's fucking boss if you ask me.

So anyway, Micky goes up a hill which is fucking muddy but he's fucking Micheal Collins. He doesn't give a shit about the mud so he walks the fuck up the hill without any complaints like a real man. He eventually comes to an entrance stops by it. He's been coordinating guerrilla warfare activities here for a few months now. Those fucking British dogs are surely going to pick up on his scent sooner or later. He resolves to choose a different location next time just to be sure.

So he begins to make his way inside when he is hit upside the head with a blow that would knock out a donkey. Shit's going black and he soon falls to the ground with a thump. For such a huge motherfucker, he goes down like a pint of Guinness on a Sunday evening. He's going to be fucking angry when he wakes up I can tell you.

So it's time for a dream sequence. What the fuck is he dreaming about?

[] Walloping the ass of those Black and Tans
[] The 1916 rising
[] The fuck? It's not time to be sleeping you silly git.
>> No. 21307
[x] Walloping the ass of those Black and Tans

Those fucking Hitler's Youth wannabes? I'll fucking firebomb their motorcade.
>> No. 21310
[] Walloping the ass of those Black and Tans
>> No. 21316
[X] Walloping the ass of those Black and Tans
>> No. 21317
Votes called, Writing has started but continuing tomorrow. Black and tans are getting what's coming to them.
>> No. 21324
Oh God. I'm so nervous. This is the first time I've gone on an actual mission before! Micheal taught me everything I know, but it's not helping my anxiety. Oh God. What if I mess up? What if I get myself killed? I just don't know. When Micky received word that a supply truck was passing through, I prayed that we didn't have to deal with it. Prayers soon shattered by the order he gave. I was good with the dummies. Fast with a knife too. In and out like you're with a woman. That's what I'd used to day. But now....

Oh God. Here it comes, The men in the black and brown uniforms are walking down beside a banged up old van. My mates look on with determination. How can they be so fierce? Where do they get their courage? The captain is giving people the signal. Any moment now and we could die, kill, run, or any number of things. The suspension is murdering me. Tommy gun at the ready Sean, Any minute now...

THAT'S THE SIGNAL OH GOD. WALK, SHOOT. WALK, SHOOT. OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD ARGH WHAT DID HE TELL ME? "The land is your weapon" NO! WHAT WAS IT! "Turf is our flame" NO OHGOD THIS IS NO TIME TO BE THINKING. SHOOTSHOOTSHOOTSHOOT BANG BANG BANG IT HAS TO BE OVER SOON IT HAS TO BE OVER SOON. OH GOD WHY.

"If in panic, shoot randomly in the direction of the truck"

Ow! What hit me? Oh, God. don't tell me they're still alive. I thought I shot them! OhGodohGodohGod.
Hm? "Get a hold ah myself?" That sounds like Mick's voice. It IS Mick's voice! Oh lord thank you! Heavens be praised! Right. Calm down Sean. It's over and about time too. The other guys are already looting the truck. Finally. I'll take this crate of ammo. Right now, Let's head back to the meeting point.
Whoo! That was a thrill. Micky is already there. How surreal. I can already hear his voice.

"Nice work lads, and another job well done for the flying columns."

---------------------------------------

Well wasn't that heartwarming? Well here some news for ya. Yer man Mick is currently hung up with chain and shackles in a fucking stone cell without any light. Hope it doesn't hurt that heart warming feeling. It's cold down here I'll tell ya that. He can't see anything though. What's he going to do?

[x] Call out for help
[x] Go to sleep
[x] Think of a one liner for when your captor comes back [enter it here]
[x] Write in.
>> No. 21326
[x] Think of a one liner for when your captor comes back
-- "Can you tighten the blindfold a bit, just it's coming lose ya see and I don't want to hafta look at ya."
>> No. 21327
Is 'Sean' the first-person narrator? I was hoping that voice would belong to the mysterious girl stalking Mick narrating a memoir, and if not, simply a frank stand-in for the author.

[x] Think of a one liner for when your captor comes back
-- "Can you tighten the blindfold a bit? It's coming loose, and I don't want to have to look at your ugly face."

Edited for diction, since Mick hasn't been using affected speech thus far. Still, the message is perfect.
>> No. 21328
>>21327

Nah, Sean's just a memory. You'll only see him in dream sequences and maybe other things.

The narrator is narrator.
>> No. 21377
vote, faggots, this could be awesome
>> No. 27272
[x] Think of a one liner for when your captor comes back
-- "Can you tighten the blindfold a bit? It's coming loose, and I don't want to have to look at your ugly face."
>> No. 27277
[X] Think of a one liner for when your captor comes back
-- "Can you tighten the blindfold a bit, just it's coming lose ya see and I don't want to hafta look at ya ugly mug."

That would be hilarious if it was Yukari we were saying that to.
>> No. 27279
[X] Think of a one liner for when your captor comes back
-- "Can you tighten the blindfold a bit, just it's coming lose ya see and I don't want to hafta look at ya ugly mug."
>> No. 27291
File 127122861868.jpg - (59.32KB , 300x216 , 1268488528261.jpg ) [iqdb]
27291
>09/07/23
>10/04/13