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13780 No. 13780
http://www.sentrygun.com/touhou/threads/others_lawyer_01.zip
It's back.
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Oh damn. I really feel sorry for those who got hit by my stray bullets. I truly am. But let bygones be bygones eh? It's inevitable. I'm a prosecutor, not a trained cop. So, instead of sulking like this I should move on and hope they would forgive me.

Oh shit. Are they going to sue me? If they did I'm pretty much fucked.


I walk to the guy near me, put the cigarette inside his mouth and start to light it. But Eh... Lighting the cig with a lighter is not awesome. Let's try something else.

"Hey." I tell him. "Stay still. Don't move."
"What?"

BAM

I fire the last bullet in my shotgun at his cig. Point blank. The cigarette blows up to the filter. And it doesn't light up. Well, too bad. Woulda been awesome if it succeeded.


I quickly run out of the room before those guards can remember my face. Getting sued is not fun, really.


To my surprise, Momizi follows me too.
"What the hell are you doing!" She asks. Obviously angry.
"I'm just trying to be awesome."
"That was a dick move, sir." She shoves the AK47U assault rifle she scavenged from the dead rabbit terrorist to me and arms herself with another one. "It's a bad joke and you should feel bad."
I dodge the topic by whistling the superman theme music.

Now that I finally escaped and have a gun in my hands, I suddenly feel stronger. It's like I can take on the world itself! With this little boy in hand, I'm ready to go 'yippie-ki-yay, mother fucker' on any terrorist I come across.

I run towards the courtroom to rescue the rest, but at one corner there is a group of armed rabbit terrorists blocking my way.

"THERE HE IS! GET THAT BASTARD!"
It's Tewi. Her face is still red from the embarrassment and also from crying. Yep. I think she did cry. I see a trace of her tears. While I want to make fun of her I need to get my ass out of the bullet's way as soon as possible. A lot of thanks to Momizi who pulls my trousers and drags me out.
"Thanks, hon." I pat her head. She blushes a little.
I quickly poke my head out of the corner and aim and fire. That takes less than 2 seconds! But the first shot misses the mark. And the next 14 shots I fired went upwards to the ceiling, shooting random stuff that is absolutely not an enemy. I try to recover, but am greeted back by ten times the bullets I fired at them just now. Holy batman, I didn't know the assault rifle kicks like a stud!

Saved by the bell. Momizi drags my ass back to the cover again.

"What now, sir!?" She yells at me amidst the hail of bullets.
----------------------------------

>> No. 13783
[x] Hold the gun properly this time. Now that you're expecting a kick and can prepare for it, you should be able to use it a bit more accurately.
[x] Tell Momizi to find whatever she can and throw it around the corner to create a temporary diversion in order to give the two of you time to fire.
[x] Aim to kill the rabbit terrorists.
[x] Aim to disarm Tewi, wounding her at most. We can still make great use of her. You'd be breaking the law performing most of those uses, but eh, laws were meant to be broken and you've already got quite the track record anyways.

Someone can probably do better but this works for the time being in my eyes.
>> No. 13794
[x] Taunt Tewi. Get her really pissed. Keep doing this until she comes after you.
[x] When she arrives, knock her over the head with the butt of your gun.
[x] Hold her hostage and tell the rest of the rabbits to drop their weapons. Have Momizi keep them in aim while you focus on holding Tewi close.
[x] Bust into the courtroom and propose an exchange. The terrorists for the court hostages.
>> No. 13798
[]Adrenaline Rush...fire scorching your veins time seems to slow to a trickle. These poor rabbits have no chance now.
>> No. 13800
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13800
I have to tell you first, guys. Feel free to go crazy, if you think a normal person can do it, please do. There is no bad ends in this story.
>> No. 13846
[x] Taunt Tewi. Get her really pissed. Keep doing this until she comes after you.
[x] When she arrives, knock her over the head with the butt of your gun.
[x] Hold her hostage and tell the rest of the rabbits to drop their weapons. Have Momizi keep them in aim while you focus on holding Tewi close.
[x] Bust into the courtroom and propose an exchange. The terrorists for the court hostages.

Awesome.
>> No. 13945
[x] Taunt Tewi. Get her really pissed. Keep doing this until she comes after you.
[x] When she arrives, knock her over the head with the butt of your gun.
[x] Hold her hostage and tell the rest of the rabbits to drop their weapons. Have Momizi keep them in aim while you focus on holding Tewi close.
[x] Bust into the courtroom and propose an exchange. The terrorists for the court hostages.
>> No. 13952
[x] Taunt Tewi. Get her really pissed. Keep doing this until she comes after you.
[x] When she arrives, knock her over the head with the butt of your gun.
[x] Hold her hostage and tell the rest of the rabbits to drop their weapons. Have Momizi keep them in aim while you focus on holding Tewi close.
[x] Bust into the courtroom and propose an exchange. The terrorists for the court hostages.
>> No. 13962
[x] Taunt Tewi with her panties.
>> No. 13968
>>13962
Damn, I'm actually waiting for this option to come up!
[x] Taunt Tewi with her panties.
>> No. 13973
[x] Taunt Tewi. Get her really pissed. Keep doing this until she comes after you.
[x] When she arrives, knock her over the head with the butt of your gun.
[x] Hold her hostage and tell the rest of the rabbits to drop their weapons. Have Momizi keep them in aim while you focus on holding Tewi close.
[x] Bust into the courtroom and propose an exchange. The terrorists for the court hostages.
>> No. 14648
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14648
I don't know why, but trying to taunt her might be a good idea. Well, poking my head out while the corridor is still filled with lead is not what a sane person would do. So let my voice do the talking. Well yeah. Talking use voice, duh.

"Hey there, Bunny! We meet again! That box is quite uncomfortable, don't you think?!"
They greet me back with a dozen copper-coated lead rounds. Yikes.
"You poke yer head outta that cover, you chicken shit! Let me talk to ya real close with my gun you bastard!" That's her voice. Tewi. I remember it now.
"Oh come on now. We had a good time together! How can you forget our encounter like that?!"
"Good time? If you count me smacking your balls as a good time, that is!"
I borrow Momizi's puff powder and use its mirror to check things on that side. I can see the rabbit terrorist murmuring something about 'whacking balls?' and 'good times?' and 'Hey, do you think like I'm thinking? Consigliere maybe doing--'

Oh ho, it turns out quite well.

"Yeah! The way you jump up and down, riding on me and smacking my balls really made an impression in my mind! I can still feel the sensation of your soft ass on my hand right now!"
"WHAT!?" Now Tewi is getting confused. Way to go, me!
"Ahaha... Mister prosecutor. You didn't really do that, right?"
"Make a guess~" I smile at her. Trying to be as mischievous as I can. Deceiving people is fun. That's why I can't stop being a lawyer.
I continue my charade.
"In a locked room, with me tied up. Helpless. I have no choice but to follow your command, my Tewi. I cannot resist anything while you slowly unzip my pants and stare at my throbbing member... the way you use your slender finger running along my shaft, and oh god when you really take it in. It's almost melting! And after that---"
"That's not true! He's lying! Don't believe him! He's a pro lawyer! He's fucking good at lying! Goddamnit I order you not to believe him! ALL OF YOU!"
Probably no use now, Tewi! All the rabbits stopped the shooting and are now focusing on gossiping about their consigliere's kinky encounter with a prosecutor stud. 'Oh my~ I can imagine the scene just by listening to him!', 'I never knew our consigliere can be that horny!', 'Yeah. She doesn't look like it but she's really a perverted, isn't she?'

Doing good. Continue, continue!

"---and after that, undressing me! Tore my tight shirt to shreds! You know how much I love it? The way you bounce up and down on me like crazy! Clinging onto me and moving like a piston! Every thrust you hit my balls with your soft flesh you send me a shivering pleasure down my spine! You are like a rapturous demoness, my Tewi! A succubus! A sex monster!"
"YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING TRAP YOU FILTHY MASO LAWYER! YOU AND YOUR LIES! ALL OF THEM ARE LIES!"
"Oh my, so back then when you told me how much you love me and my hot rod down there, begging me to pound it over and over... Is that a lie too?" Alright. Time to use my secret weapon.

I take Tewi's panties from my pocket and wave it, making sure my hand is not revealed too much and risk getting shot at. At this point Momizi is blushing red like a tomato. She's gripping her gun so tight it might bend.

"I still have a memento of that moment right here, my Tewi! If you really didn't, why are your cute little striped panties here then? It's the solid proof of our hot steaming love love encounter! Come to think of it... don't you feel cold down there?!"


"You bastarrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!"


Tewi runs straight at me without any escort or covering fire. She waves her gun around like a maniac, as if to hit me with the gun instead of shooting my gut. Poor lady. I didn't mean to embarrass you like this, but this is the most effective method. A lawyer must be shameless to survive. You should learn that, Tewi.

"I'm gonna frag your rotten mouth until you shut the f------?!"

Not so fast, rabbit girl! Me and Momizi already laid an ambush for you. I got both her arms and Momizi got her leg. With our combined effort, yet again the poor rabbit is being tied up. I still have my morals left so I try not to peek under her skirt to check if she's wearing anything below. Oh hey, above too. I already took off her bra.

"Wow, that was quick." Says the astonished security guard. "You tie people up often?"
"It's in the blood Momizi."
I help her up and let Momizi cover me from behind while I walk out of the cover, using Tewi as a meat shield. I try to make myself as small as possible, but I cannot completely hide behind a petite girl like her. If they have some marksman I'm dead meat.

"Your boss is here! If you want to save her, hands up! Throw down your weapons and kick them here! Both mains and subs!" I go by the book. Not like I have any police routine training. I just remembered it from the movie.
The guards are uncertain of what to do. They are murmuring, discussing among themselves. One of them decides to call their superior. She exchanges some words over the phone, and after hanging up, gestures everyone to take aim. Wait, what?!

"Hey hey hey! Chill! You don't care for your boss' safety?!" Now I'm half-dead meat. There's no place to hide except behind Tewi. And I'm quite sure that if they really shoot us both the shield and person behind will be riddled full of holes.
"Eirin's order is to eliminate that useless rabbit who managed to get herself captured two times in a row by the same guy." The rabbit terrorist girl shifts her weight uncomfortably, blushing a little. "And probably doing...*ahem*... THAT... with him already. There's a probability of her being a traitor. So... yeah, any last words, Consigliere?"


Oh my.


[ ] -----
>> No. 14651
[X] "I'm afraid I'll need to take a raincheck on that whole dying thing."
[X] Duck back into the room.
[X] Search for another exit.
[X] Convince Tewi that like it or not, she's on your side now. Give her back her panties as a peace offering.
>> No. 14652
[x] Grin. Big, BIG, grin.
[x] "Oh, a traitor, is she? Well it's not as if she could resist, after all. You all don't know what you're missing, do you? If you want, I can show you the pleasure I gave her, up close and..." whispering the last word "...personal" lick your lips.
[x] Un-gag Tewi. "Or maybe you'll want a demonstration, instead?" unzip your pants.

OR

[x] Tewi to the ground.
[x] Whip out your weapons.
[x] You and Momizi to the ground.
[x] Fill 'em with hot lead. Even the legs will take them out long enough to finish them off.
>> No. 14653
[x] "I'm afraid I'll need to take a raincheck on that whole dying thing."
[x] Duck back into the room.
[x] Search for another exit.
[x] Convince Tewi that like it or not, she's on your side now. Give her back her panties as a peace offering.

Ah Tewi~ Manipulating you is so fun
>> No. 14655
[x] "I'm afraid I'll need to take a raincheck on that whole dying thing."
[x] Duck back into the room.
[x] Search for another exit.
[x] Convince Tewi that like it or not, she's on your side now. Give her back her panties as a peace offering.
>> No. 14688
[x] "I'm afraid I'll need to take a raincheck on that whole dying thing."
[x] Duck back into the room.
[x] Search for another exit.
[x] Convince Tewi that like it or not, she's on your side now. Give her back her panties as a peace offering.
>> No. 14972
File 123615940934.jpg - (12.93KB , 360x360 , ballz.jpg ) [iqdb]
14972
[x] "I'm afraid I'll need to take a raincheck on that whole dying thing."
[x] Duck back into the room.
[x] Search for another exit.
[x] Convince Tewi that like it or not, she's on your side now. Give her back her panties as a peace offering.
----------------------------------------------------


"Uh oh...I'm afraid I'll need to take a raincheck on that whole dying thing!"


With my nimble thoughts, I assess the situation and find that I need to GTFO as soon as possible. Head first, I throw Tewi at the startled Momizi and jump back to cover like Max Payne would do.

The hall is covered by a hail of bullets. Well, I can't pass that way unless I'm Robocop. Gotta find another exit. Momizi is holding them off for the time being.

I turn to meet the damsel in distress, Tewi. I feel sorry for her. She got used by both me and the mob. A sudden surge of pity fills my heart.

As I untie her and go to give her back her panties to get to her good side, a sharp pain forms under my belt.


"You! It's because of you! You are the one to blame!"
She repeatedly kicks me in the balls. As if you didn't humiliate me enough, Tewi. Why, I want to ask you. Why it always my balls? Do you have a grudge against it? Did he ever do you any harm? You shouldn't vent your anger on an innocent person like him!

It's not like I can voice my complaints as I'm sprawling on the floor foaming my mouth and clutching my brother. After she finished tormenting me, she left with my AK47U and ran away, crying. I think I heard something along the lines of "Fuck you, Eirin! How dare you order those rabbits to kill me! You're going to pay for this!"


Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow ow. The pain. The painnnnnnnn!


[]....
>> No. 14975
I don't know what to vote, but I declare this. Tewi is now the love interest. We shall do everything in our power to win her over, no matter what it takes.
She will be ours!
>> No. 14982
[x] "Go after her, Momizi..."
[x] Groan for a few minutes longer.
[x] Search around for another way to the courtoom.
>> No. 14993
[X] Go after her, you're a man!
[X] Obviously with Momizi with you, can't risk her safety.
[X] After you have more or less calmed Tewi down, search a new route to courtroom. She might have few ideas herself.
>> No. 15012
[x] Go after her, you're a man!
[x] Obviously with Momizi with you, can't risk her safety.
[x] After you have more or less calmed Tewi down, search a new route to the courtroom. She might have few ideas herself.
>> No. 15027
[X] Go after her, you're a man!
[X] Obviously with Momizi with you, can't risk her safety.
[X] After you have more or less calmed Tewi down, search a new route to courtroom. She might have few ideas herself.
>> No. 15815
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15815
My loins scream in agony, but I don’t have the time to be a baby about it; Momizi can’t hold the rest of those gunny bunnies off forever. Hobbling to my feet, I bring my .22 Libery back out into the open; pathetic against all those sub-machine guns, but it’s the best I’ve got right now.

For just a second or two I stare at the path Tewi took before she turned the corner and vanished from my sight. She’s a real tough girl, lots of tenacity and resolve. It’s those kind of things that make a good prosecutor; I’d know, I’ve been one for years. Guts and gumption, that ability to put aside your squeamishness and your pity in pursuit of your duty. Wonder how she might have turned out if she hadn’t gotten so deep in with the mob…

“We need to go after the girl, Momizi!” I yell to the guard, still valiantly holding the mobsters back with concentrated bursts of bullets. “It’s a losing battle over here! Let’s move!”

She empties her clip for good measure, then nods to me as we both run after Tewi, my companion loading her last spare magazine into the weapon. Looking at the AK this close makes me feel rather poorly endowed with my puny weapon. Sure wish I’da kept that shotgun from before…

Without all that echoing gunfire bouncing around the walls, it’s not hard for me to hear the tapping of Tewi’s shoes ahead of us on the floor. Pushing my aching limbs as fast as they’ll go, with Momizi easily keeping up the pace, we quickly make some headway on the little rabbit as she wheels around with reckless abandon through the halls of the courtroom offices. It isn’t long before I manage to grab her and wrestle the gun from her hands. I might not be very strong, but having a foot and a half of height over this girl certainly has it’s advantages.

“The helletmego, idiot!” she screams, trying to claw at my face and hands as I use my superior size to pin her to the ground, aided by nudges from Momizi’s gun barrel. “Hate you! Hate you all! I’m gonna kill everyone in this building when it’s all over! Reisen, Eirin, that whore Kaguya, you, your little dog too, everyone! You can’t stop me! I’m gonna slice your balls off!”

She puts up a good show, but I can tell there’s no real heart in it. Defendants do this every now and again. They’ll go on some kind of insane offensive to scare you, when they’re really just ready to crack with one more solid push. There’s only one way to deal with those kind of people: show them how pathetic they really are. They don’t deserve violence or death threats any more than they mean the ones they give, but that doesn’t mean I plan to go easy on ‘em. No, what I’d really like to do is just show them the back of my hand. Obviously I can’t do that in open court. But since this isn’t exactly open court…

I let my newly-liberated AK slide out of my hands as I draw my palm back and slap Tewi across the cheek. That shuts her up nice and good. I glare at her with eyes full of the righteous fires of charisma.

“I just saved your life, you ungrateful little rat,” I explain to her sternly, in a tone that even shouting can’t match the intensity of (a little trick I’ve picked up from years grilling witnesses). “Your mob left you high and dry, and after that little ‘ball game’ you played with me I shouldn’t have cared less if they smoked you back there or not. But I stuck my neck out for you, and you’re gonna talk to me like that? You’re really gonna take on your ex-mob by yourself? Sounds like you just wanna take the easy way out, go down and lose in a pointless blaze of glory. Losing’s easy, girl. Any two-bit fool can do it. But winning is tough. And you’re too tough to lose yet, Little Miss Tewi. So shut up, quit your whining, and help us out; maybe we’ll get out of this alive if we work together.”

Making sure Momizi still has the bunny in her sights, I ease up on the pressure and get up off of her. She eyes the gun cautiously, then picks herself up, keeping her skirt pressed against her legs to avoid…oh yeah, that’s right. I never did manage to give her back her panties. Retrieving them from my pocket, I offer them to her, and she snatches them back like a starving child stealing a loaf of bread from a vendor’s stall. Her eyes are poisonous and her brow furrowed as she pierces my gaze with daggers.

“Cheap words, slick,” she comments. “Bet you’ll say that to any jailbait you get your hands on.”

I smirk. “Just the ones who try to castrate me.”

Suddenly, there’s the click-click of a gun being primed to fire, and I look behind you to see three armed rabbits pointing various sub-machine guns at us, their faces dark and emotionless. Brilliant; this is what I get for turning my back on a hostile party and wasting all my time on Tewi. One of them grins devilishly and mocks me as she aims the gun in between my eyes.

“Court is adjourned, mother fu—“

Fire. Burning. Heat. Screams. Suddenly the trio of assailants burst into flames before my eyes, putting the three of us completely out of their minds as immense pain becomes their only prerogative. The hell is this, now? I watch motionlessly as a torrent of fire from behind them burns their clothes off their bodies, soon followed by their hair and skin, until in mere seconds all three are reduced to limp, blackened corpses on the ground, their guns ever so slightly red from the heat of the hellfire that consumed them.

“Just can’t stand all this foul language you kids use these days,” a gravelly voice says from down the hall.

Amidst the hazy air and smoke from the bodies you see a rather improbable figure standing with what is most obviously a flamethrower in her hands. She’s dressed in a sharp scarlet business suit and oxford shirt with black dress shoes, and her stark white hair goes down to at least her waist if not further. She spits out an expired cigarette from her mouth as she readjusts the wide sunglasses over her eyes.

“And you are, uhh…?” I ask, not really sure what to make of a flamethrower-carrying businesswoman.

“Phoenix. Just call me The Phoenix,” she replies, turning partially away from us as if intending to just walk away. “All you need to know right now is that me and Houraisan have…unfinished business. And if I were you, I’d just leave the building now while you’ve got a life left to live. Some of us only get one, you know.”

While I stand there in confusion of what just happened, Tewi snatches up my Liberty I dropped when I took back the AK and points it at The Phoenix. The woman stands there indifferently, obviously used to this sort of thing. “I’ve heard about you,” she comments harshly. “You’re that lunatic, aren’t you? The one-woman army who thinks she can take down Eientei all by herself, right?” She looks at me for just a second and flashes me a cute little smile. That smile…There’s something in that smile I just can’t pin down. Trust? Humor? Happiness? Whatever it is, I’m glad to see it on her face.

“Sounds like you just wanna take the easy way out and go down and lose in a pointless blaze of glory while we do the same, eh? Well guess what, little firebirdy? Losing’s easy. Anyone can lose. Idiots lose. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather win.”

The Phoenix shakes her head, rippling that long hair across her back and shoulders in a way any red-blooded male would find sexy if she hadn’t just incinerated three people in cold bold thirty seconds ago. “I work better alone.”

“Yeah? Well, we don’t,” I interject, adding my own gun to the threatening mixture for good measure.

She sighs, and swivels her weapon across her shoulder as she walks towards me. “I set you on fire, don’t coming running to me; I warned you. What’s your kids’ plan, anyways?”

[ ] ???

This update is perfectly legitimate business. Kirin agreed; don’t bother her about it.
>> No. 15816
[x] Use music and dance to coordinate together in a frantically flaming frenzy of ferocity.
[x] Go go Disco Inferno.
>> No. 15817
That was awesome, Owen. That's why I love you.
pure awesome. That is all I can say.
>> No. 15833
>>15817

I do what I can, the best that I can. Thank you for the compliment; you're making me blush. It was a fun little short to write. Glad to know you enjoyed it.
>> No. 16006
Wow. Too bad I'm no good with write-ins.
>> No. 16007
[x] "First we were going to gather as much info as possible before busting in there. It'd be suicidal after all to just rush in there without a plan. I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing into a room crawling with well armed rabbits and seeing what happens?"
[x] "If you don't, then let's scout it out first and act from there."

Charging blindly in is stupid after all.
>> No. 16008
[x] "I got a flatbed in the parking garage: Six 55 gallon drums of nitroglycerin that I've been saving for a rainy day. We'll blow the entire fucking courthouse."
>> No. 16009
>>16008

Made me laugh, and Tewi would support it, but I doubt Momi or Mokou would be for it due to the whole hostage situation inside which I believe exists, as well as the possible civilian casualities and property damage
>> No. 16011
[x] Use music and dance to coordinate together in a frantically flaming frenzy of ferocity.
[x] Go go Disco Inferno.
>> No. 16026
[x] Use music and dance to coordinate together in a frantically flaming frenzy of ferocity.
[x] Go go Disco Inferno.

Dancing always solves the most messed up of problems~
>> No. 16029
[x] "First we were going to gather as much info as possible before busting in there. It'd be suicidal after all to just rush in there without a plan. I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing into a room crawling with well armed rabbits and seeing what happens?"
[x] "If you don't, then let's scout it out first and act from there."
>> No. 16238
[x] "First we were going to gather as much info as possible before busting in there. It'd be suicidal after all to just rush in there without a plan. I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing into a room crawling with well armed rabbits and seeing what happens?"
[x] "If you don't, then let's scout it out first and act from there."
>> No. 16569
[x] "First we were going to gather as much info as possible before busting in there. It'd be suicidal after all to just rush in there without a plan. I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing into a room crawling with well armed rabbits and seeing what happens?"
[x] "If you don't, then let's scout it out first and act from there."
>> No. 17054
[z] "First we were going to gather as much info as possible before busting in there. It'd be suicidal after all to just rush in there without a plan. I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing into a room crawling with well armed rabbits and seeing what happens?"
[e] "If you don't, then let's scout it out first and act from there."
>> No. 17056
Gotcha.
>> No. 18984
File 124032965927.jpg - (24.03KB , 572x334 , Liberty8sml.jpg ) [iqdb]
18984
Back by popular demand…or perhaps just because Kirin asked me to.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[x] "First we were going to gather as much info as possible before busting in there. It'd be suicidal after all to just rush in there without a plan. I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing into a room crawling with well armed rabbits and seeing what happens?"
[x] "If you don't, then let's scout it out first and act from there."


The Phoenix’s words make me realize that, well…I don’t have much of a plan. All I’ve got is a few guns and a whole lot of bravado. Works great for all those high-explosion action films. Not so much in real life. But I can’t just leave Momizi and Tewi hanging out to dry, so I start with the basics.

“Well, first, we need information,” I respond, trying to sound like I know what I’m doing. “We’ve got a room crawling with hostile rabbits and hostages, and who knows what else those mobsters have up their sleeves. We bust in there like idiots, and it’s suicide.”

I see the woman raise an eyebrow from behind her glasses. “Right. So basically, all you told me is that your plan is that you need a plan. Nice job there, kid. Way to show them who’s who.”

Clenching my teeth, I send her retort right back at her. “Yeah, well, what about you? I'm assuming since you use a flamethrower as a weapon, you had some sort of plan thought out besides rushing in here and seeing what happens, right?”

She shrugs. “Not really. I just heard Houraisan was gonna be on trial today, and felt like setting ‘Her Majesty’ on fire.

“For being a phantom of the underworld,” Momiji comments skeptically, “It’s a wonder you’re still alive with an attitude like that.” She turns to us all and continues. “If what we need is information, then we’ll need a scout to check up on the courtroom. Volunteers?”

Phoenix busies herself with checking the gas contacts on her flamethrower as Tewi casts me a mischievous little glance. Feeling that I’ve just been forcibly elected, and seeing as how I started the conversation in the first place, I step up to the metaphorical plate.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go check the place out. So long as you’ve all got my back.”

Tewi spins the .22 around her finger like a real pro and winks. “Knowing you, we’ll have to get your front, too. Just leave the fightin’ to us professionals. Also, give me my gun back. You’ll just hurt yourself with it.”

An overwhelming urge to make the bunny dance above a floor of lead rain almost overcomes the control of my trigger finger, but I hold back. Gunfire’s sure to bring trouble if any more of the mobsters are nearby. Grinding my heel into the ground, I reluctantly pass her the machine gun as she hands me back my Liberty. Noticing the exchange of weapons, Phoenix pulls a switchblade out of her pocket and tosses it to me nonchalantly.

“Don’t waste your bullets,” she comments.

Hiding the charred rabbit corpses in a nearby closet, and after a short stop to let Tewi put her underpants back on (waste of time in my opinion; we’ve got bigger problems than her unprotected cooch, but whatever), the four of us move quickly and quietly down the courthouse hallways. Despite the run-in with those three guards, the hallways remain empty, which doesn’t set well with me. Wasn’t there like ten of them shooting at Momizi just a few minutes ago? Something’s up.

At the last corner before the courtroom doors, my three allies stop and cover my blind spots for me. The gun and knife gripped tightly in my hands, I inch around the wall and look. No exterior guards. Hmm...Well, I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. I creep up to the crack of the door and try to squeeze my eye up to the gap. It’s a tight fit, but I manage to get the most of the situation, or what little I can see of it.

The judge Yamaxanadu and my boss Komachi are tied up and gagged near the front of courtroom, as are most of the other witnesses and jury members I can see. I remember seeing the cop Hakurei in there somewhere, but from this angle she’s nowhere to be found. Kaguya’s talking to someone by the looks of it, but I can’t see who unless I actually open the door, and I’m not risking that considering I can see at least four armed guards looking directly at the back of the room; they’d gun me down for sure if the doorknob so much as wiggled. My gaze glides over to the far wall, where—

I see it happen a split second before it actually happens. A figure in a black padded SWAT uniform swings into the far corner window from a hanging rope, scattering glass everywhere and toting a M16 with mounted grenade launcher, which he (perhaps she?) uses to gun down the mobsters nearest the window. Swiftly the SWAT officer tosses a pair of cyndrilical metal cans onto the ground in the midst of the enemies. A muffled voice shouts jovially across the room, “Frag out, ze!”

Wait, are those…grenades?!

[ ] OHSHI-???
>> No. 18985
[x] Find cover FAST!

Isn't a frag grenade a bit... excessive? Unless they're not trying to be suppressive and just slaughtering what they can. Still, feels a bit overboard using them in a room with hostages.
>> No. 18992
[x] Find cover FAST!

Shit just got real.
>> No. 19024
[x] Dash in, grab the grenades, and throw them back out the window.
[x] "YOU IDIOTS!"
>> No. 19025
>>19024

The frag grenades are in the middle of the enemies right now. Do you honestly think it is a smart idea to not only open the door, but to then charge into the middle of them, if they haven't already tried to leap aside to avoid the explosion, and then pick up and throw the grenade? Returning a grenade in this method is moronic when it is tossed right at you to begin wtih, let alone when you have to cross a room to do so.
>> No. 19027
>>19025
So we're just going to watch the hostages get blown away as well?
>> No. 19436
File 12411041083.png - (96.12KB , 499x449 , bb1daaff53caf5446ace56c674d2d1b7.png ) [iqdb]
19436
need moar vote.
Don't fear the bad end, Anon! There is none!
>> No. 19454
So no matter how stupid our action is, it won't result in a bad end? Well then...

[x] Charge in naked.
[x] Use your penis to grab the frag grenade and toss it at Kaguya.
[x] Barrel roll yourself over to where the hostages are, untying their ropes while gyrating constantly.
[x] Flex hard once you've completed this task.
>> No. 19455
>>19454
But that one's just too much. At least use some logic.
>> No. 19456
[x] Dash in, grab the grenades, and throw them back out the window.
[x] "YOU IDIOTS!"
>> No. 19465
>>19454

I can sum all of those up in one choice.

[x] IT IS TIME FOR MANSERVICE
>> No. 19589
File 124159839186.jpg - (268.00KB , 1000x800 , toho10.jpg ) [iqdb]
19589
Under the process of proofreading .Update soon.
>> No. 19592
File 124160576386.jpg - (335.68KB , 660x600 , 1238737101798.jpg ) [iqdb]
19592
[X] MAN IT UP AND FIGHT IT HEAD ON.
--------------------------------------------------------------


What?! That silly cop girl just chuck a hand grenade into the room full of hostages? That is totally insane! There's only one thing I can do to stop the certain massacre that is about to happen if that grenade actually pops in that room. I kick the door with all my might and leap into the room with only thing in mind. The words keep repeating themselves in my head over and over.


IRON HEART SURGE!


I just blindly rush in with a single, streamlined focus with an aim only to perform heroic deeds. There it is. A grenade is rolling on the marble floor. Somehow it looks like a can of something more than a pineapple grenade, but meh. A grenade is still grenade all the same. I boot up the stored data in my brain, trying to figure out what to do once I reach the grenade. The memory from when I was playing for university's football team suddenly spring up. For a second there, I feel like I was back in that field of valor with the audience cheering for me. But when I realize that this place is not a football field and that cheer is actually a scream of terror, I already kicked it.

And god damn I forgot. I wasn't a kicker. I was a receiver.

The grenade didn't go off at my foot, somehow. It flies randomly due to my inexperienced kick and goes straight to Kaguya. Followed by a sudden blam and a blinding light. Someone pushes me down and slams my face into the ground. Ouch. I think I heard something goes CRACK. Probably my nose. My ear is ringing and I can't hear what the hell is happening around me. All I know is that there is a lot of stuff that flew past my head, making a 'whizz' sound while it tears through the air above me. I try to open my eyes. It's still a blur but I catch a glimpse of a long, black silky hair being dragged by a boobilicious person. I deducted from my experience from the case that the girl must be Kaguya and that pair of watermelons must belongs to Eirin, her right hand.


"KAAAAAAAAGUUUUUUUUUUUUUYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"EEEIIIIIIIIRRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!"



I hear two familiar voices, and I quickly register that Tewi and Mokou are following the two, fully armed and whatnot. Somehow they are not getting riddled full of holes by both the assault party and the rabbit terrorists. After the gunfight dies down, my eyes and ears become functional again, and I can see that there're only two figures standing in the room. No, actually there're three.

One is that stupid special force cop, one is Reimu Hakurei the undercover cop, and one is my senior, Komachi Oonozuka. She's standing there with a blood all over her two fists. At her feet there's a rabbit girl beaten to a pulp. As expected from my hot-blooded senior.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing?!" Reimu whacks your head with her high heels. Ow, that hurts! "You nearly jeopardized the rescue attempt!"
The girl turns to the special force cop. "And you too, Marisa! What a reckless move! Where's the backup?! I already told you to wait for backup!" Another whack. Ow.
"Agh! At least all's well, ze!" Marisa respond. "See? the operation's a success! I can take them all silly rabbits just fine, ze!"


Some of the hostages are back on their feet now, and are panicking over all the incapacitated bodies of the rabbit terrorist girls. That Marisa cop is pretty good. She can disable more than five terrorist, or maybe more than ten, without killing any.


=Marisa! MAARIISAAAAA!=
There's a call from Marisa's radio.
"Heyyo Alice! Whatsa matter, ze?" She nonchalantly reply.
=IT MATTERS, MARISA! How could you just barge in like that without any help from your teammates?! If you just made a single mistake, all of the hostages would have been killed already! And call me captain, not just Alice! Captain Alice!=
"Okay, Alice! I'll call you captain Alice, Alice!" And Marisa off the radio before Alice can yell back at her. Well, in my opinion Marisa would still call that Alice girl without using proper ranks anyway, judging from her carefree behavior.

"Alright... Hey you! Prosecutor guy! Help me get all the hostages outta here, would you?"
Reimu gather the hostages in one place and is ready to move.
"I need someone to check the front entrance for me. Any volunteers?"
The way Reimu s glaring at me is just like she had just said 'YOU. Do that task for me. That's an order.' out loud. Sigh...

Oonozuka san caught my shoulder and rest on me. Her leg's probably in bad shape, but in this state she managed to fell one rabbit girl. That's impressive.
"Hey boy..." She pant. "You gotta save judge Sikieiki! She's been taken away by those thugs!"
Komachi point at the door Kaguya and co. just left. Which is also the same way Tewi and Mokou disappeared.


Argh. What to do? Reimu's piercing glare is digging into my back like an eagle claw... If I don't comply, I don't know what would happen to me.



[]________________
>> No. 19594
[x] Fuck her; hero time!
>> No. 19595
[x] Fuck her; hero time!
>> No. 19597
[x] Fuck her; hero time!
>> No. 19614
[ze] Fuck her; hero time!
>> No. 21250
File 124754096288.png - (72.90KB , 480x640 , 123606356549-2347.png ) [iqdb]
21250
[x] HERO TIME!
--------------------------------------------------------


Sorry, Miss Reimu. But this is the time for me to shine! I mean, imagine! Front page news! 'Courageous prosecutor stopped courtroom chaos!'... Uh, that sounds like what judge Shikieiki always does, not me. But besides that, I'm feeling good today and I won't let just a mere undercover cop ruin my chance to become famous!

...That's not the real reason that I want to go out there and risk getting shot at, really. I'm worried sick about miss Shikieiki and those two girls. Even if they're tough (both mentally and physically, any girl that waves a flamethrower around like a water gun is considered tough in my book), I'm a man; It's a man's job to save the day, get the girl, and kick some asses.


Reimu's glare is still fixed on me. But from the rumors I heard about her, there's a sure-fire way to distract the hell out of her.

"Hey, look!" I point at some random direction. "I saw ten thousand bucks cheque disappeared behind that corner!"
"Whahuh--?! TEN THOUSAND!? MONEY!!"
Reimu dashes past Marisa like a fucking fighter jet. I understand that cop's salary is not all that high, but to see her react to my trickery that much... I feel a little sorry for her.

I grab both Marisa's hand. She's quite confused after all that happened.
"Officer, please understand; I have a damsel in distress to save. Detective Reimu is going to ruin my opportunity to save her. No... them, rather. But anyway, I need your help! Keep Reimu busy, please!"

For at least ten seconds no one else says a word. I see Marisa's expression shift to confused, surprised, and finally joy and excitement. She slaps me on the back. hard. Ow, that might even leave a mark!
"Go get'em boy! That was totally manly! And, y'know, I like a manly guy!" She kicks me in the ass. "Now get going! I got your back, ze!"
"Thank you, officer!"
A quick salute, and I'm off. Miss Oonozuka gives me a big double thumbs-up as I'm going to leave. This small act actually gives me enough courage to go back in without pissing my pants. Thank you, senior; I'll buy you a pack of Budweiser if I actually manage to come back.


After following the trail of destruction the angry couple left behind, I finally catch up to them in the long corridor linking the building A and B. Strange... both of them are lying flat on the floor, like they're hiding from something.

"Hey! Whatchadoing----"
"GET DOWN, YOU STUPID!"

For a second there, I thought I was a goner. The windows burst into hundreds of deadly fragments; wood splinters and shards of glass whiz through the air but I manage to survive unscathed. Looking up, I see a gigantic hole on the window; it's probably caused by very high-caliber firearms. I lie face down, covering my head with my arms.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPE---"
"Can you just fucking shut up for a second?!" Mokou hisses through her teeth, trying to keep her voice at minimum.
"Shit, here they come!"

Tewi yanks me by the collar and pulls me away. And in that split second, there's a gigantic hole. Right where I used to be. The small explosion startles me a bit, and after the dust dies down, I find myself on top of Tewi.

"Get offa me, you oaf!"
Even if it's a hissing sound that's nearly inaudible, I can tell that she's quite angry and embarrassed. More so the latter, actually. Not trying to escalate the situation, I obediently comply.


So right now it's a stalemate. We can't move forward and we can't go back either. I try to ask Tewi about the situation. In a whisper, of course.
"So what's keeping you?"
"Are you joking or are you really that stupid? Sniper. On that fuckin' roof. One of the best, at that."
"...Okay?"
"Her name's Reisen. Reisen Udongein Inaba. The most famous sniper in the whole friggin' underworld. Ever heard of 'Invisible Arrow'? That's her."
"Oooooh. Coooool." It can't be helped. I don't know a thing about this underworld stuff, so all I can do is just feign interest.
"She got good hearing, good agility, and good eyesight. If she's locked on to us, we're half dead already." Tewi point back at where the bullet hole is. "She can even hear our conversation now. But she can't pinpoint. That's why I don't wan't you to yell or you'll get a brand new asshole crafted for you, capiche? I can't bail you out every fucking time."
"Loud and clear." Well, it's not any louder than a whisper, but it's sure as hell clear.
"All we can do is just sit here until she's bored and falls asleep on her own."
That's one of the most stupid ways to deal with a sniper possible. But I heard it actually worked before... the guy's name was snake, as far as I recall.
I consider facepalming hard for this plan, but stop after I see Mokou's underwe---no, I mean her note. Honest. I'm not looking at her ass from behind in a proning position.
The note reads, "Tewi is going to circle around her. That conversation was a feint."
Oh ho! So we're going to use the sniper's strong point to get her? That's awesome.


Hey, wait. Good hearing?


I still remember that one imageboard I used to visit back in the days... a lot of people gather there and write some erotic adventures of a nobody just to entertain themselves. I actually liked one of them so much I can remember every phrase.


I don't know if she's vulnerable to this, but it's worth a shot. I mean, damn, There's even a rabbit girl one. She should be distracted, one way or another.



[ ] Don't do it
[ ] Do it (Select scene)
>> No. 21258
[x] Do it (Rabbit girl scene - if it's possible, insert Reisen's name into the scenario)

DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. TO-GA! TO-GA! TO-GA!

*laughs maniacally*
>> No. 21270
[x] Rework Scorn's Sanae story to feature a useless rabbit only good for her sex appeal as she is stalked, kidnapped, and then utterly dominated.
>> No. 21276
[x] Do it (Rabbit girl scene - if it's possible, insert Reisen's name into the scenario)

Because I couldn't think of anything better.
>> No. 21349
[x] Do it (Rabbit girl scene - if it's possible, insert Reisen's name into the scenario)