[Return]
Archived Thread

File 121124102892.jpg - (35.28KB , 640x480 , a char.jpg ) [iqdb]
2465 No. 2465
Alright, continuation of the previous thread. Enjoy these days, as the introduction period nears its end soon.

Oh and there's an IRC channel now #LAE on rizon.net go there to scream at me or something.
---------------------------

[x] Roulette option!

You step out of your room and into the corridor. You try to think of what to do next, having only just reinvigorated yourself. You definitely want to do something, you just don't know what it is yet. Just as you stand there, being the indecisive lout that you are, you hear a series of small noises coming towards you. Turning around to investigate the noises, like the ADD poster child that you sometimes seem to be, you're disappointed by the lack of shiny lights but are surprised to see a small doll flying over towards you. Being drawn to its clumsy movements, you decide to check it out. When you get near it, it stops, seemingly hovering in place.

The doll is dressed in a fairly plain yet cute way. Judging by her appearance, you identify her as one of Alice's dolls. The build quality and distinctive features make this almost certain. The high level of craftsmanship makes it unmistakable. The doll has blond hair and green eyes, you can almost see a determined expression on the doll's face, if such a thing were possible. How cute, she even has an ahoge. While not as finely built as Shanghai, you can tell that a lot of time and effort went into making this doll. Even the clothes are far more than simple rags sewn together, you can tell they have a well defined design and were cut from good cloth. It's a blue skirt with a white blouse with a royal blue-colored colored ribbon on the collar. For some reason it reminds you of someone. As you continue to admire the doll, you notice that it's carrying what appears to be a letter. You take it, and see that it's addressed to you. You open it and read it to yourself.

“Dear Mr. Shirou,

Since you showed such interest in my doll the other day, I'd like to share with you one of my creations. Her name is Albion and I'd like you to keep her. Consider her thanks for such a fascinating conversation the other day. I'd like to see you again soon if possible. Please be well.

Sincerely yours,

Alice Margatroid”

While the letter seemed a bit too formal for you, you feel slightly embarrassed. Surely the conversation you had the other day wasn't that great. You thought that you were boring and came on too strong. In any case, you now own this doll. You look at it again and decide to put her away, since you don't know how to manipulate dolls like Alice does. Well, what an interesting way to start a day. You feel slightly better now and feel like solving your problems like a man would. That means living it up and taking things to the excess!

[ ] Go to town, and drink like a real man
[ ] Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would
[ ] Go find a bear to wrestle
[ ] Go chop lumber with your bare hands

>> No. 2466
[x] Don't do anything stupid.
>> No. 2467
[ ] Go to town, and drink like a real man
ITZ GONNA BE CRAZY
>> No. 2468
[x] Go find a bear to wrestle

"LET'S WRASSLE!"
GRAAAH!
"TASUKETE EIRIN!!!"
>> No. 2469
[►] Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would

MAN-BURGERS:
BEEF
BACON
CHILI
CHEESE
FRIED EGG
ONION RINGS

FUCK YEAH
>> No. 2470
[ ] Go chop lumber with your bare hands

YES
>> No. 2471
[X]Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would
[X] Go to town, and drink like a real man
[X] Go find a bear to wrestle
[X] Go chop lumber with your bare hands

IN THIS ORDER
>> No. 2472
[x] Hotglue the doll

SEEEEEIBAAAAAAA
>> No. 2473
[X]Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would

Impress&feed our NEET, please!
>> No. 2474
YEAAAAAAAAH
>> No. 2475
[x] Hotglue the doll

She doesn't have any connection to the doll anymore right? Hotglueing it while she still has control over it would be pretty bad
>> No. 2476
[X] now that we're a man, ATTEMPT TO MOONWALK
>> No. 2477
>>2476

:Attempting <MOONWALK>
:<MOONWALK> failed
:GAME NOTE: You're more of a TITO than a MICHAEL
>> No. 2478
[x] Read the back of the note.
"ur a faget"
>> No. 2479
[X] Go chop lumber with your bare hands
>> No. 2480
[x] Go trace Excalibur and destroy the Holy Grail's vessel
>> No. 2481
[ ] Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would
[ ] Go chop lumber with your bare hands
[ ] Examine doll... in a MANLY way
>> No. 2482
[x] Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would
[x] Choke
[x] Receive CPR from touhous
>> No. 2483
[x] Hotglue the doll
>> No. 2484
File 121124741362.jpg - (82.96KB , 500x375 , onion.jpg ) [iqdb]
2484
[x] Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts of food and eat it like a man would
[x] Go chop lumber with your bare hands

Feeling absolutely manly, you decide to do one of the manliest things available to you: cook a ton of food and wolf it all down. You rush to the kitchen, ignoring all distractions along the way. Luckily, no one is using the kitchen right now and you can use it to your heart's content. You grab all the pork you can find. Then you grab all of the oil you can get. You apply both into a huge frying pan and start cookin'. Adding other things occasionally, you manage to make (magically enough) eggs with bacon, pork chops (even you are surprised how the hell you managed to do so), delicious Emiya-style sausage, and other things that would make the faint of heart (or those with faint hearts) pass out. Taking the time to make DELICIOUS GOLDEN BROWN ONION RINGS AND ACCOMPANYING CHEESE-BASED finger foods you soon have a meal worthy of the most manliest of men.

You look upon your feast and decide to eat it as fast as you can. After all, a true man should be able to finish all his food fast enough to be able to do something else like breaking cars in half or operating heavy machinery. Ignoring the calls from your body to stop, you continue to eat until there is nothing left. From all the smell and noise, both Tewi and Reisen had come to see what all this was about and they stand now stunned at your manly prowess. Not wasting any time, you decide to get out of there and get to the lumber chopping.

You run outside, using your newfound energy, and proceed to look for suitable lumber. Goddamn, only bamboo as far as the eye can see. Not getting discouraged, you decide to try to chop the bamboo trees. This, of course, proves to be a most difficult task as bamboo tends to be very flexible and durable. But eventually, by using your pork and grease fueled strength you manage to break some bamboo into small bundles. You continue at it for at least and hour, until you feel that you've done your manly deeds for the week. Sure wrestling a bear or drinking yourself all the way to Ireland and back would be just as great, but this will do for now. Your status is fine now, and you've gotten over your previous negative sentiments. You're now ready to face the ordeals that are thrust upon you.

[ ] Go help Eirin
[ ] See if Kaguya is in
[ ] Go have a tall one at the tavern to celebrate
[ ] Meditate
>> No. 2485
[ ] Clean self up
[ ] See if Kaguya is in
>> No. 2486
File 121124769668.jpg - (337.85KB , 870x960 , shirouswords2.jpg ) [iqdb]
2486
[x] See if Kaguya is in
YOU WANT TO SEE CHANGE KAGUYA
GAZE UPON ME
GAZE UPON MY MANLINESS
>> No. 2487
[X] See if Kaguya is in.

Damn it, buddy, we are feeling MANLY. You better be ready to forgive us, just so you can get a piece of this.

There has never before been so much MAN in one place.
>> No. 2488
[x] Go help Eirin

Being in the general vicinity of a doctor would probably be a good idea at the moment.
>> No. 2489
[X] Find Kaguya and show her our manly manlyness, THEN
[X] Take her to the tavern, and try to get her drunk
>> No. 2490
[ ] Meditate
[ ] Go help Eirin
[ ] See if Kaguya is in

In that order, of course.
>> No. 2491
[X] Go help Eirin

Probably be a good idea to tell her we had a KEYAIDS incident yesterday... omitting the Tewi trying to bury us thing.
>> No. 2492
[ ] See if Kaguya is in
>> No. 2493
[ ] Clean self up
[ ] See if Kaguya is in
>> No. 2494
File 121124991241.png - (368.80KB , 500x650 , lookingkindamizukitherekaguya.png ) [iqdb]
2494
[x] See if Kaguya is in

You're a man. You're a man and a half. A berserker-pack packing man and a half. You decide to go see Kaguya. Stopping by the bathroom quickly to wash your face, you head over to her room. You knock on her door and her her reply, telling you to come in. You step in and are face to face with the moon princess.

“Shirou? What do you want?” Kaguya asks of you.
“I came here to see you. I was worried because you weren't here yesterday.”
“I was busy yesterday. I was at a local shrine yesterday.” She nonchalantly says.
“Huh? A shrine? Whatever for?”
“Geez, you're so thickheaded sometimes.” Kaguya states. “I was praying for you. You were unconscious for over a day. So it's only natural that I'd be worried about you. I went to the shrine to ask for your recovery.”
“You lost me. Weren't you mad at me?” You state dumbfounded.
“Sure I was. And I still am a little. But we're buddies, and that counts for more than just pleasantries, right?”

You're absolutely touched. Almost crying manly tears at this selfless show of friendship. How could you have even doubted for a moment that your buddy didn't want what was best for you? That your friendship was weak? You run up to Kaguya and give her a bear hug. She is a bit shocked, but accepts your feelings.

“You're the best buddy ever! Please forgive me for ever upsetting you.” You say amongst what can only be described as manly sobs.
“Now, now. No need to get all emotional on me. It's enough that you understand that I care about you.” Kaguya adds, and smiles despite being gripped stronger than a pacific salmon caught by a bear in northern Canada. You let go and continue to stare at your buddy. “I'd normally love to continue talking to you, but I've got to go back to the shrine and give thanks for your recovery.” She says. “So I'll be back in the evening. We can have fun then.”

Being led out, you are still estatic at the realization that your buddy cares for you. Now nothing can ruin your mood, not even Tewi trying to bury you alive again.

[ ] Go get a drink at the tavern, time to celebrate!
[ ] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.
[ ] Go around trying to flip skirts
[ ] Celebrate with even more manly food.
>> No. 2495
File 121125016038.jpg - (48.53KB , 101x135 , doomguyclose.jpg ) [iqdb]
2495
[x] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
>> No. 2497
[X] Go get a drink at the tavern, time to celebrate!

Might as well go see our arch-nemesis.
>> No. 2498
[X] Go around trying to flip skirts.

"Hey kid, you look pretty upbeat."

"You're damn right I do, Tewi."

"So, what hap- excuse me, but wtf r u doin?"

Shirou fled from battle!
>> No. 2499
[ ] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.
>> No. 2500
[X] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
then we can go get wasted and eat ridiculous ammounts of food again.
>> No. 2501
[ ] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.
>> No. 2502
[x] Go get a drink at the tavern, time to celebrate, whilst offering a sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune!

BEER FOR THE BEER GOD!
BOTTLES FOR THE FIVE CENT DEPOSIT THRONE!
>> No. 2503
>>2494
[x] Don't do anything stupid and wait patiently
>> No. 2504
>>2502
Sounds good to me.
Fusion time?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
>> No. 2505
[ ] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.
>> No. 2506
[ ] Yes

We'll sacrifice the Tavernmaster?
>> No. 2507
>>2506

We'll sacrifice Tewi and get Tavernmaster to help us by saying she drinks tea.
>> No. 2508
>>2507

As long as it's a Bible Black-esque sacrifice ritual, I'd be up for that
>> No. 2509
[ ] Yes
>> No. 2510
File 121125254233.jpg - (28.72KB , 411x288 , tavern.jpg ) [iqdb]
2510
[x] Go get a drink at the tavern, time to celebrate!
[x] Offer sacrifice to the gods for your good fortune.

Considering yourself more fortunate than the average fellow, you decide to give thanks the best way you know how - offering alcohol as tribute to the gods. Your idea seems flawless. Grabbing your stuff, you rush your way down the trail that goes to the human village. You can't wait to down a cold one. And you're sure that the gods can't wait either. Running seems to be no problem, you seem to be in better physical shape than ever. Soon enough you make your way to the village. That must have been a record, and you didn't even break a sweat. Man that man food is a powerful fuel.

You seek out the tavern and enter. Since it's still late morning, there aren't that many people present, but you don't let that deter you. The tavernmaster acknowledges your presence and goes up to you.

“So what'll you have?” He asks in a gruff way. “Our specialty is Youkai's Bane liquor, a local specialty.”

As you're about to order you realize you have no cash on you. Crap! However, you feel like you're on a lucky streak and nothing can stop you, so you attempt to find out if there's any way you can get booze without paying. The tavernmaster eyes you, as if sizing you up and then says his piece.

“Yes - there is a way. You just have to win a series of games we have here, three in fact.” The tavernmaster says. You ask what's so hard about that. “Well, you've got to get a perfect score at three very different games. That's pretty hard if you ask me.”

You pause and think for a moment. This deal sounds good to you, you get free booze if you just beat a couple of games. It would seem that they're simple things like darts. If you don't win, that'll be that. In your heightened state of awareness you most likely be able to clear them. The other alternative is shunning the gods and not getting smashed. Which might permanently ruin your karma.

[ ] This was the only path, I have no regrets
[ ] Back down
>> No. 2511
[X] This was the only path, I have no regrets
this is the true path, so wheres the doll?
>> No. 2512
[x] This was the only path, I have no regrets

We're on a mission from God.
>> No. 2513
[X] This was the only path, I have no regrets

I suspect Tavernmaster is going to kill us.
>> No. 2514
[x] This was the only path, I have no regrets
While our mojo is still pumping.
>> No. 2515
[x] This was the only path, I have no regrets
>> No. 2516
File 121125413784.jpg - (158.55KB , 500x375 , battleship.jpg ) [iqdb]
2516
[x] This was the only path, I have no regrets

You tell the tavernmaster that you'll take on his games. If it's for free booze, you'll do anything. The tavernmaster smiles. “Very well let's get the games started then.” He turns to the people in the tavern and yells out “We've got a challenger!” All eyes focus on you as you can feel that this is a big deal. No matter, you're going to win these games and get yourself free booze.

First up, it would seem that they want you to play something that looks like battleship, except the art depicts something like dragons instead of ships. The tavernmaster explains. “You'll play against me for the first game. Players take there turns announcing where they would like to fire danmaku on the grid. If it happens to be occupied by one of your units, it gets damaged. If all the points get hit, it's lost. The objective is to get all of them.” He smiles and then continues. “A perfect game here would be not losing any units, getting hit is okay.”

You nod, and you prepare for Gensokyo's own version of battleship. The tavernmaster starts. He misses on his first move and it's your turn. You miss as well. The first few turns are uneventful, as you exchange barrages occasionally hitting a unit. However, soon you have the advantage, having destroyed most of his units, and him only damaging your largest ones. “You sunk my battlewyrm!” The tavernmaster exclaims as you destroy another unit. However, it looks like he might destroy a unit next turn. You go for D6, but you miss. Damn only his smallest unit remains and it can either be in E5 or F6 now. Crap you pray that he'll miss as well.

“Hehe I've got you now.” The tavernmaster claims. He attacks a square, but misses. Thank the maker. Well now it's your turn again, and depending on your choice you can either win or lose. Go for broke.

[ ] E5
[ ] F6
>> No. 2517
[ ] F6
its beside F5
>> No. 2518
>>2516
[X] TRACE ON
>> No. 2519
[x] F5
>> No. 2520
FUCK.
>> No. 2521
[x] F6

Lay it on the line. No regrets.
>> No. 2522
[X] TRACE ON
>> No. 2524
>>2523

Replace with
[X] TRACE ON

LET'S DO THIS!
>> No. 2525
>>2524
Are you guys crazy, do you want to pass out without having a single drop of liquor touch your lips? You guys do not please the gods.
>> No. 2526
[X] TRACE ON

We are men today. Key-AIDS cannot touch us.
>> No. 2527
[X] F6
>> No. 2528
>>2526

Truth

[ ] TRACE ON
>> No. 2529
File 12112559508.gif - (13.53KB , 300x255 , darts.gif ) [iqdb]
2529
[x] F6

“F6!” You exclaim excitedly. It's all or nothing now. The tavernmaster looks at you with a stoic face and then goes to pick up a pin. He then smirks at you and pulls out a red pin. You did it! “Congratulations kid.” The tavernmaster states. “You've beaten round one, but round two won't be as easy.” He then gets up and yells out. “Advancement to round two!” There are multiple whispers heard and the place is apparently abuzz with excitement. Why is it such a big deal anyways? Well, you get prepared for the tavernmaster's explanation.

“The next game is darts. But unlike traditional darts, you just have to get the highest score possible, not lower your points. You'll be up against one of our regulars, Smitty here.” A stout bearded man gets up from his seat and waves. The tavernmaster continues his explanation. “Playing perfectly means that all the darts must hit the board, none may land outside the point area. It may not be that difficult, but you've got score to worry about.”

You understand the rules and start playing. You start, you throw and get it just outside the bullseye. “Not bad kid.” Smitty says. “But watch this.” He throws the dart and it lands perfectly in the bullseye. You're astonished at his skill, it looks like you'll have to play better. You throw again, and this time you get a bullseye. And so the game goes on and it's up to the final two throws. Your scores are tied as of now. You throw. You miss the bullseye but get a lot of points regardless. Smitty, on the other hand, also misses the bullseye but manages to get more points and is in the lead. Crap you gotta get a bullseye now to even hope to win. You can try changing your throw a bit to see if it lands a bullseye.

[ ] Throw a little lower
[ ] Throw a bit more left
[ ] Throw as before
[ ] Trace on
-------------------
I've got to go now. 7 minutes, etc (truthfully more like 2 hours at most). Be back with the exciting conclusion.
>> No. 2530
[ ] Trace on

I have no regrets, this is the only path.
>> No. 2531
[X] Trace on.

We are MANLY today, so TRACE ON will work.

I think.
>> No. 2532
[X] Throw a bit more left
>> No. 2533
[ ]I am the bone of my battleship...

Okay really,

[ ] Trace on
>> No. 2534
[X] Throw a bit more left.

This is a test. A test to see whether or not we go for the easy way out.
>> No. 2535
[ ] Throw a bit more left

Going with this just because it's the only non-trace on being voted for.
>> No. 2536
[ ] Throw a bit more left

save our super powers for the next one!!
>> No. 2537
Wow. I go out for a while and return to find Shironymous has been injected with preposterous amounts of testosterone.

PREPOSTERONE.
>> No. 2538
>>2537

TOP SCORE
>> No. 2539
[ ] Trace on
>> No. 2540
Tied between throw a little left and trace on. So I propose to you, should I flip a coin? Or will more of you mongrels vote?

[ ] Yes, determine my destiny
[ ] No, I want to have some sort of semblence of control
>> No. 2541
[X] Throw a little back, and to the left.
Back, and to the left.
Back, and to the left.
Back. And to the left.
>> No. 2542
[x] Throw as before.

Have some manly confidence in ourselves. Save TRACE ON for the final round.
>> No. 2543
[x] Aim for Triple 20.
>> No. 2544
[ ] Unlimited Dart works
>> No. 2545
[X] Fight > Aim > Take Aim

Yay for Archers!
>> No. 2546
You've grown so strong, Fox
>> No. 2547
[X] Unlimited Dart works
>> No. 2548
>Since you showed such interest in my doll the >other day.
>Go to the kitchen and prepare unhealthy amounts >of food and eat it like a man would
MANLY MAN =/= fat hotglue ANONeet
>> No. 2551
File 121128545330.gif - (158.59KB , 550x525 , buckler.gif ) [iqdb]
2551
This might be my last update for now. I was waiting for replies and this is why it took so long. The fact that I was absorbed playing rune factory has nothing to do with it - I swear.
--------------------------

[x] Trace on

You cannot take any chances with this one. Even though you might make it with a regular throw, the odds aren't high enough. You focus your mind and try to understand the basic structure of the dart. You see it in your mind. You instinctively put your essence into the points of the dart which need strengthening. You redefine the balance of the dart. With this you are confident that you can win. However, the strain on your body is pretty heavy, if it weren't for that meal, you might have collapsed from lack of strength. Having focused your energy like this, you won't be able to do anything in the future even if you really need to. However that's a concern for another time.

You breathe in deep and throw the dart. Since you strengthened it and fixed all of its flaws, you know it hits the bullseye before you even launch it. And the result is just that. A perfect throw. Your opponent then throws, but he misses and you are declared the winner. You won by the slimmest of margins. But a victory is a victory. The tavernmaster comes up to you to congratulate you.

“Well done kid.” He says. “But you still have one challenge to go, I'm afraid this is the most difficult one yet.” Handing you a buckler and a net, he leads you down a flight of stairs. “Your final challange is to remove a flag from the back of an opponent, without losing your own.” As he says so he sticks a flag on your back. “Neither of you will be armed beyond what you have, but I must warn you, the opponent is quite strong.” You arrive to what seems to be a small arena beneath the tavern, you are lead through the gates and into the pit. As the tavernmaster closes the door and gets into position to watch he turns around and adds one last detail. “Oh kid, your opponent is a youkai we captured a while back, it's not very strong, but it might have gone feral from the lack of food. But don't worry you've got that shield to protect yourself and the opponent has only one eye.”

Well, shit. It would seem that you've been screwed over by a psychotic tavernmaster and his bloodthirsty clients. Clients, who are now lining the walls of the arena and placing bets. This seems like an extremely bad situation to be in. Not even free booze might be worth this. As you try to see if there's a way out, your opponent enters the pit. A big ugly ogre-like creature. And here you thought that all youkai were pretty girls. Goddammit. That thing looks like it's going to tear you a new asshole and then love you tenderly through it. Well, you can feel your adrenaline rushing and you get ready to go, you've only got to get the flag on its back and you've won.

The big ogre-like thing charges at you. You sidestep, you dodge it, but soon it tries to bear down on you again. It's surprisingly agile for such a big brute. It swipes at you, you block with your buckler. Crap the cheaply made buckler might give way soon. You need a plan and fast. You try to keep flanking the creature, but it proves to be just as fast as you. It swings again. You try to dodge, but get scrapped in the process. Damn, you're kimono's ripped now. Great, now the people at Eientei will be pissed at your treatment of the kimono. At least you're in one piece.

Dodge. Flank. Dodge.

You can't keep this up much longer. You're getting tired. The creature swings at you again, with no time to dodge, you block. This time the buckler gives way and splits in half. Aren't these things supposed to have metal? What the hell did the tavernmaster give you? Well seeing that you've got no defense now, you should try to go on the offensive. The net will stop him for a second, and you might be able to grab the flag if you're fast enough. But it's no guarantee that you'll make it. You might be able to slide under him as well, next time he attacks, exposing his back and the flag. The drawback to that is that if you're not quick enough you'll get cut to ribbons.

As you dance around the ring with the creature, you remember you have your laser pointer. If you use that you might be able to blind the monster for an instant and grab the flag. However you must only draw it the moment you use it, otherwise the creature might knock it out of your hands. This means that you can't combine it with the net, or a slide (which would require your hands to be free for you to get up quickly). However, judging by the fact that the creature has only one eye, it just might be the most effective method. Well, one thing's for certain you can't keep up your current pace. As a last resort you might try your ability, but seeing how it drained you before, it might just cause you to collapse at a most inopportune moment.

[ ] Use the net
[ ] Wait for a slash and slide
[ ] Use the laser pointer
[ ] Trace on
>> No. 2552
[x] Throw buckler remains at it
[x] Then laser pointer
>> No. 2553
[x] Throw buckler remains at it
[x] Then laser pointer
>> No. 2554
[x] Throw buckler remains at it
[x] Then laser pointer

Holy crap man, have we fallen onto the weirdest sidequest or what? Arena combat for a pint? I tell ya' we better get free drinks for LIFE here from now on.
>> No. 2556
[x] Throw buckler remains at it
[x] Then laser pointer
>> No. 2557
>>2555

Haha oh wow... I must've been too busy getting myself busy for work to pay proper attention

[x] Throw buckler remains at it
[x] Then laser pointer
>> No. 2558
File 121129071186.jpg - (10.35KB , 270x500 , pint.jpg ) [iqdb]
2558
Posting another part partially out of guilt, but mostly due to the alcohol in my system. Now I definetely won't update until a couple hours more. I should also have an update to the sidestory thread by then as well.
-----------------------------

[x] Throw buckler remains at it
[x] Then laser pointer

Not wanting to take any more chances on your dodging ability you try an alternate plan. You toss the small bit of buckler that you still had in your hand at the creature. You quickly reach for your laser pointer and try to blind the creature. It's all or nothing now. You aim the pointer at the creature's eye and press the button. Not waiting to see the exact results, you rush at the creature and try to grab the flag. As you rush by its sides, you are sure that your planned worked, since the creature isn't turning. Not losing any time, you leap for the flag. Everything moves in slow motion as the creature thrashes about and you're flying through the air. You close your eyes just as you're about to get the flag. If you don't get it now, your lifespan is surely going to be cut short dramatically.

When you open your eyes, you're lying on the floor. You don't quite understand what's happened. Your senses have been dulled. The creature looks around confused as a group of shirtless buff men restrain it with chains and ropes. The first thing you hear is the massive cheering of the crowd. They seem to have gone while. You look at your hand and you see why. You have the other flag in your grasp. You've won. When the creature is hauled out, the tavernmaster comes running up to you.

“Well done kid. I didn't expect you to be able to do it. You're surprisingly resourceful. You know what, I'm going to make you a member of my 'Buff Workingman Club'. We get together every two weeks and talk about slaying monsters and beating people who drink tea in bars and taverns.” He's smiling rather creepily, but you can tell it's a heartfelt smile. “Anyways, come upstairs and we'll talk it over.”

As you climb the stairs you ask about the deal for the free booze.

“Oh that?” tavernmaster begins to explain. “That was a straightforward lie. There's no such rule, I was just really bored.” The tavernmaster sees your really pissed off look. “Hey now kid, don't sweat it. I made you a member of the BWM club already.” You try to protest but the tavernmaster cuts you off. “Tell you what. Since I made a killing off the bets, I'll let you drink free for at least a month, but after that you've gotta either fight again in the arena or start payin'. How's about that.” You nod and agree that that sounds good.

When you reach upstairs, all the patrons applaud your fine show. Hell, it'd seem that everyone wants to buy you a drink. The gods will be pleased at the bountiful sacrifice. You stay at the tavern, drinking for a long while. You just can't refuse the generosity, even if you still get free drinks. God this Youkai's Bane liquor is fantastic. It's like drinking liquid bliss, but you know it's strong enough to kill small animals. Plus, the tavern wenches ain't too bad either. You also remember to leave a large casket of wine as offering and entrust it to the local priest, who oddly enough, was betting on your match. That as well as the symbolic amounts of booze that you've drank in their name should be enough to appease them.

You're absolutely sloshed and it looks like the members of the BWM club have some sort of plan for you. It's probably not a good idea for you to try to go back to Eientei by yourself, it may only be afternoon but you'd probably get lost in your current state. Despite of your advanced inebriation, you have a couple ideas of what to do. You could always drink more, but then passing out amongst this crowd might be a bad idea.

[ ] Drink more
[ ] Wait it out at the tavern
[ ] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
[ ] Try to go to Eientei anyways
>> No. 2559
[ ] Try to go to Eientei anyways

Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Where ever I may roam
On land or sea or foam
You will always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home
>> No. 2560
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
the whole hotglue thing and becoming an awsome monster slayer will give the character a split personality.
You can't be both at once.
>> No. 2561
>>2560

AWESOME MONSTER HOTGLUER
>> No. 2562
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
[x] Ask her or Mokou to take you to Eientei

Kaguya is waiting, but we should choose the safest route to her.
>> No. 2563
>>2560
We should've used the glue gun on the monster

[ ] Try to go to Eientei anyways
>> No. 2564
>>2562
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
[x] Ask her or Mokou to take you to Eientei

Actually this is better, make sure we insist on getting home. I just hope we haven't been drinking wife beater
>> No. 2565
haha, holy shit, that was awesome
[X] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
>> No. 2566
>>2562
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
[x] Ask her or Mokou to take you to Eientei
>> No. 2567
[X] Go find Keine's and detoxify there

We can have some coffee with her.
Maybe with some milk.
>> No. 2568
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there

Leave. This place is becoming a sausage fest.

Keine will fix us up, while asking as many questions as possible. She can have Mokou take us home if we're still too trashed to walk by nightfall.

Whereas if we tried the forest path now, we'll pass out and wake up in a cave next to Mokou. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, except we told our buddy we'd see her again this evening.

Even if we can't get out of Keine's until tomorrow, it's still a better alibi than being with Mokou.
>> No. 2569
[ ] Try to go to Eientei anyways
>> No. 2570
Never watched House, faggots? Heal your wounds right there!
>> No. 2571
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there.

You think our buddy wants to see us this smashed, this early?
>> No. 2572
>>You think our buddy wants to see us this smashed, this early?

Only if she was getting smashed with us.

That should happen at some point, actually. The two of us getting completely shitfaced, and then attempting to drunkenly make our way back to Eientei. Maybe we'll make it, maybe we'll pass out on the way and have to be carried back by an army of rabbits, or maybe we'll stumble upon a familiar cave where we'll have to take shelter for the night.
>> No. 2573
File 121129561975.gif - (176.72KB , 150x150 , kittan.gif ) [iqdb]
2573
Is this Fig Power?
It's quite something.
>> No. 2574
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there.
Go in with a "This party is gettin crazy!"
>> No. 2575
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify at Eientei anyways.
>> No. 2576
>>2570

YEAH IF ONLY WE HAD REMEMBERED TO BRING THE FOMEPIZOLE AND PICROTOXIN
>> No. 2577
>>2572

Hell, the reason she's been going to the shrine is probably to get hammered anyway
>> No. 2578
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
>> No. 2580
[X] go to keine's carrying a jar of beer and party hard with keine and mokou.
HAY KEINE, *hic* I BROUGHT YA TWO THINGS!
>> No. 2581
>>2580
Both contain drinkable liquid.
>> No. 2582
Teruyo got wasted. Guess we will see him not again today.
>> No. 2583
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
>> No. 2584
[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there
[x] Ask her or Mokou to take you to Eientei
>> No. 2585
File 121133213420.jpg - (171.13KB , 450x625 , keine0.jpg ) [iqdb]
2585
I live. Skittles and beer aren't enough to keep me down.
------------------------------

[x] Go find Keine's and detoxify there

Not wanting to stick around and become the BWM club's plaything, you discreetly leave the tavern carrying a couple of jugs of booze. You don't know where Keine's place is exactly, so you try asking a local villager. You think you ask a local villager anyways, you probably don't make much sense. You get directed towards a lone house near the outskirts of the village. Making your way there the best you can, you pretty much stagger all of the way there. You're surely quite the spectacle, since drunks usually leave under the cover of night, but you left during the afternoon. You can feel the judgmental eyes of the housewives and spinsters on your back. Fuck them.

You arrive at the door and knock. You hear some movement inside the house. After a few moments, the door opens and before you is a very surprised Keine. She doesn't grasp the situation immediately and instead stares at you blankly.

“I brought you some fun juice.” You say as coherently as you can. “Can you let me stay here for a bit?”

Keine blinks thrice in rapid succession. Then she realizes the situation. She motions you to come in and relieves you of your booze. You walk in and collapse on what seems to be a couch. It takes most of your willpower not to fall asleep. Keine sighs at your sorry state, and asks you what you want to do. You must be a burden on her, but she's the only one you could've turned to in the village. A logical course of action would be to either wait it out, and then go to Eientei, or have her call Mokou to take you. You think that you qualify for her escort service, being incapacitated and all. Alternatively you could either get some shut-eye here or even ask Keine to join you drinking.

[ ] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei
[ ] Have Keine call Mokou
[ ] Ask Keine to join you for a drink
[ ] Just fall asleep
>> No. 2586
>>2585

[ x ] Have Keine call Mokou
>> No. 2587
[ ] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[ ] Apologize to Keine.
>> No. 2588
[X] ask Keine to call Mokou, then party hard!
>> No. 2589
>>2585
[ ] Rape Keine.
>> No. 2590
[x] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei
>> No. 2591
[X] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[X] Apologize to Keine.

Moderation is crucial.
The more we drink now, the less we will be able to drink with our buddy later.
>> No. 2592
[X] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei
>> No. 2593
[X] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[X] Suggest she keeps the booze as payment for letting you crash.

Oh, she may be all exasperated with us now, but by the time we finally are at our best, she'll be sloshed.
>> No. 2594
[X] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[X] Apologize to Keine.
>> No. 2595
[X] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[X] Apologize to Keine.
[X] Suggest she keeps the booze as payment for letting you crash.

Gattai da
>> No. 2596
[ ] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[ ] Apologize to Keine.
>> No. 2597
[X] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei.
[X] Apologize to Keine.

"Totally sorry to be leaning on you like this, brah. But now I get free drinks for a month. You ever need to get trashed? I'm your boy!"

But slurrier.
>> No. 2598
File 121133716364.jpg - (65.26KB , 516x338 , keinex1.jpg ) [iqdb]
2598
[x] Wait for your body to recover, go to Eientei

You decide to wait it out until the booze gets flushed out of your system. You tell Keine that if it's alright with her, you'd like to lie around until you can move well enough again. She sighs, tells you it's okay with her and goes into her kitchen. After a few minutes she brings you what would seem to be a cup of tea.

“Drink up.” She says. “It'll help you recover faster.”

Grateful for her gesture, you take the cup and drink up. It's extremely bitter but you gulp it all down regardless. After you're done Keine turns to you and says. “I've got to run quickly down to the schoolhouse because I forgot something there, the bathroom is over there. I'll be back in a flash.” Saying so, she leaves you alone.

You continue to lie on the couch when you get the strongest urge to take a leak. It looks like you're bladder is at maximum capacity. Thank god Keine showed you were the bathroom was. You make your way there and relieve yourself. As you wash your hands, you hear what seems to be a voice.

“Shirou. Can you hear me Shirou?” A omnipresent voice asks.
“Yes? Who is this?” You sheepishly reply.
“I am the god to whom you offered sacrifice today. I want you to listen to me.” You feel kind of skeptical that a god would be talking to you, but you decide to humor the voice.
“Yes, I'm listening.”
“You have done well in getting drunk today and offering me tribute.” The voice states. “While I am slightly disappointed that you'd rather stop drinking in order to get home, I am still happy for your previous actions. To this end I wish to reward you. On the couch I have left you my pendant. It is proof of our covenant. Wear it and you shall have my protection.”
“Protection? Granted by a god?” You inquisitively ask.
“Yes, if you wear the pendant, you shall have slightly better luck at getting booze. Furthermore, you shall never be teabagged by obnoxious college roommates while you wear it.”
“Uhh, thanks that sounds... useful.” You retort.
“That's not all!” The voice exclaims. “You may or may not have better luck with women with it. And you'll be able to spot birds before they attack you. Excrement, Alfred Hitchcock style, or otherwise. In any case, enjoy it and keep drinking. If you serve me further you will be rewarded even more.”

And with that, the voice is gone. How strange. You didn't even get this supposed god's name. You leave the bathroom, and sure enough there's a pendant on the couch. You examine it and see a strange symbol, something that looks like a fraternity's symbol. Ah well, you guess there's no harm in wearing it so you put it around your neck. Just then, Keine comes back.

“Ah, I see you're doing better now.” She says.
“Yes, thank you very much for allowing me to stay. I'm sorry for imposing on you. As thanks, I'd like you to keep that alcohol I brought with me.” You cordially state.
“Ah no need to reward me, I did it because you're my friend. But please tell me why you were so drunk at this hour.”

You proceed to tell Keine all about the trials at the tavern. You add how you were duped into gladiatorial combat and how you eventually won and managed to land free booze for a month.

“Ah that tavernmanster.” Keine says. “He's always looking for gullible people to dupe into fighting. And that creature down in the arena is no youkai. It's Bernie.”
“Bernie?” You ask.
“Yes, an actor, he's part of the Buff worryingman or whatever club. He likes to dress up as creatures and scare the townsfolk.” You protest saying that he had claws. “That was probably just a stage prop, Bernie is committed to his roles. Once he assumes a role, he won't stop until he's defeated. If you ask me, you're lucky they didn't ask you to do anything stranger than that.” She muses for a moment. “Why just last year they forced a poor bastard into mating with livestock. It was really sick.”

Uhh, livestock? You think you've heard enough. You tell Keine that you really should get going now that you're better and apologize for being such a bother.

“Ah don't worry about it.” She says. “However, since you're feeling better, would you care to join me for a drink. It's been a while since I've drank at home with someone. Don't worry.” She winks. “I'm not as vicious as those tavern rats. You can be on your way soon enough. It just gets a bit - lonely at times I guess.”

Man Keine looks alluring right now, she has a slightly sad expression to her, and her eyes seem to be absorbing your soul as you stare at them. You can't help but wonder if this is the power of the pendant. In most likelihood Keine is just being honest and genuinely just wants someone to chat a little with.

[ ] What the hell, one drink won't hurt
[ ] No, I don't care if it's rude, leave
>> No. 2599
[x] What the hell, one drink won't hurt

Haha, yes.
ZUN has heard our prayers.
>> No. 2600
[x] No, I don't care if it's rude, leave
We're going to get carried away, and it looks like the pendant WORKS. We're gonna use it on Kaguya right away.
>> No. 2601
[ ] What the hell, one drink won't hurt
>> No. 2602
>“I am the god to whom you offered sacrifice today. I want you to listen to me.”

Sup Tewi

[x] What the hell, one drink won't hurt
>> No. 2603
[ ] What the hell, one drink won't hurt.

What could possibly go wrong?
>> No. 2604
[ ] What the hell, one drink won't hurt
Nothing can go wrong...
>> No. 2605
[X] What the hell, one drink won't hurt.

Let's put that pendant to the test.
>> No. 2606
DAMNIT i knew it, but since we are where we are
[X] hug her and chug off the jug
>> No. 2607
[x] What the hell, one drink won't hurt
>> No. 2608
[X] What the hell, one drink won't hurt

Famous last words, but whatever.
>> No. 2609
File 121134023971.jpg - (223.95KB , 464x650 , keinex2.jpg ) [iqdb]
2609
[x] What the hell, one drink won't hurt

Fuck it. Who doesn't want to share a drink with a lovely woman? You take her up on her offer.

“Oh, I'm glad that you've decided to share a drink with me.” She says. “I myself am not to fond of the Youkai's Bane liquor that your brought with you, but it'll do.”

She gets two glasses and pours the hooch into both.

“To good health and to friendship!” She toasts. You both drink the powerful stuff and then she pours you another glass. “C'mon, let's enjoy this moment for a while longer.” You can't say no to that. After all, it's most pleasant to drink with company. This time you drink slowly, you both savor your drinks. Keine starts chatting about her daily life and you listen, occasionally commenting on various things. You've been having refills for a while now, so much so that you've come closer to Keine in order to better access the jug of booze.

When you glance at the schoolteacher, you can see that she's quite flushed, and at least a bit drunk. But you're no better yourself.

“So, what do you think about Mokou?” She suddenly asks. “I heard that you two have been through quite an ordeal together.”
“I uhh-” You start stammering.
“Speak clearly, I can't understand you with all that stuttering.” She leans in closer as if to hear you better and you can see her cleavage quite clearly now. “God I feel absolutely hot.” She unbuttons her top button. She's really quite well stacked. She's only but a few centimeters away and you could probably touch her if you just stretched your arm a bit. Just when you're about to test your theory a very loud noise comes from the entrance.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?” A very upset Mokou yells.

Oh shi- this isn't good, it probably looks like you were trying to seduce Keine or something to her. You try to utter an excuse of sorts, but Mokou will have none of it.

“Shut up! Keine, how dare you? After you knew how I felt!” How she felt? You wonder if she refers to any feelings towards you? You didn't realize how serious Mokou felt about you.

“I'm sorry Mokou, but I couldn't help myself, he just came along here and one thing led to another.” Keine apologetically responds.

Oh shit. It looks like this might get bad. Still, a strange feeling of happiness is welling deep within you. It's the first time something like this has happened to you.

“No excuses Keine! What you did is beyond redemption -” Mokou continues but you cut her off.
“Now, now ladies, no need to fight...” You try to say.
“Dammit Shirou, Keine knows how much I like to drink. And to think that she got Youkai's Bane and was drinking it alone with you. It just pisses me off!” She continues.
“Wait wut?” You ask. “You're upset over the drinking I thought that-”
“I'm sorry Mokou, I should have called you, but Shirou came unexpectedly with a couple of jugs full of the stuff and I just drank without thinking.” Keine apologizes.
“Well, how much is left?” Mokou asks.
“About 3 or 4 bottles.” Keine replies.
“Excellent, in that case let's party!”

You try to protest, saying that you should leave soon, but Mokou will have none of that. “C'mon kid, drink up! We're going to finish all of this booze pronto.” Being held against your own will, any further protests are quickly silenced. It looks like you'll just have to drink whether you like it or not.

A while later, the three of you are lying on the floor collapsed as a couple of empty bottles are scattered all over the room.

“Yeesh, that stuff was great!” A very excited Mokou states. “I haven't drank that much in ages.” She drank the most out of the three of you, you wonder if her immortality grants her extra fortitude against alcohol. You soon discard that idea, as you see that she's fallen asleep. Keine seems to be in a similar state, sucking on her thumb and in a fetal position. Great, now you're screwed since you won't have a guide to Eientei. You might seriously get lost if you went in your state. Ah well, at least things aren't so bad here. You're with two very attractive women in a drunken state. Your body is telling you that you should sleep now and your mind is in a state of disarray.

[ ] Just sleep here
[ ] Try poking Mokou or Keine to see if they'll get up
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
>> No. 2610
[X] Just sleep here.

Buddy's gon' be pissed, but I doubt she'd be much happier if we came back reeking of alcohol and half-dead because we got lost in the forest.
>> No. 2611
[X] ...POKE...POKE...PROBE...TONGUE...
>> No. 2612
File 121134057738.jpg - (36.73KB , 640x360 , EmiyaShirou1.jpg ) [iqdb]
2612
[x] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
I trust the pendant, and I trust the powers granted to me by that doll. I AM INVINCIBLE, GOD DAMN IT.
>> No. 2613
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
>> No. 2614
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf

This is where our true trial begins
>> No. 2615
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
BAD END
>> No. 2616
[Z] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf

Sloshed to hell and back, but fuck it!
>> No. 2617
[X] Just sleep here.

God damn, we already worried Kaguya once by going into a coma. If we get ourselves into trouble by stupidly marching into a nigh impossible to navigate forest while drunk, she'll be absolutely livid. I doubt Keine and Mokou would be too pleased if they woke up and found us missing, either.
>> No. 2618
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf.
>> No. 2619
[X] Try poking Mokou or Keine to see if they'll get up

Haaaay. HAAAAAAAY.
HAAAAY YOOOOU GUUUUUUUUUUYS.
>> No. 2620
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
>> No. 2621
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf

~Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Where ever I may roam
On land or sea or foam
You will always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home~
>> No. 2622
[ ] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
>> No. 2623
>>2617
Feh, logic is overrated.
>> No. 2624
[X] Buttpillow.

DO IT.
>> No. 2625
[X] Screw thish, Imma gettin' home by myshelf
>> No. 2626
[x] Buttpillow.

HELL YES WRITE INS
>> No. 2627
[X] Buttpillow.

Fuck yes, nice cushy buttpillows! Keine's got a nice ass for this one.
>> No. 2628
Now to strike some doubt into your hearts: Is it such a smart idea to leave the confort of a warm house for the cruel merciless evening in order to try to travel through a forest while drunk in a land that has many many hungry youkai?

[ ] Yes. What could go wrong?
[ ] No (next most popular option is selected)
>> No. 2629
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

Buttpillows are superior. Must have buttpillows.
>> No. 2630
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
>> No. 2631
File 121134234838.jpg - (100.06KB , 400x310 , Shirou01.jpg ) [iqdb]
2631
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
THEY CAN SEND A HUNDRED MAGGOTS TO FIGHT ME! THEY CAN SEND A THOUSAND MAGGOTS TO FIGHT ME! BUT IN THE END, THEY'RE ALL MAGGOTS!!!
>> No. 2632
[X] No.
NOW GIVE US DELICIOUS BUTTPILLOW DREAMLANDHEAVEN
>> No. 2633
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?

Awesome.jpg
>> No. 2634
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2635
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?

Think of it this way. Sure, the house may seem safer now, but do you REALLY think that was a "god" speaking to you?
Or was a certain someone ensuring that she once again has leverage over you?
>> No. 2636
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
TEWI.
>> No. 2637
>>2636

More likely to run into a revenge seeking Bernie.
>> No. 2638
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

Doing something stupid and maybe getting killed vs. Doing something stupid and maybe getting killed, but first getting to handle some sweet, sweet Keineass?

Not even a choice.
>> No. 2639
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

This butt, it was made to be my pillow.
>> No. 2640
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
I'm not going to fall for Tewi's trap again. Oh no.
>> No. 2641
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2642
[ ] Yes. What could go wrong?
Im not following your logic there
>> No. 2643
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
This would be the second time in a row that we just dicked off and hung around with Kaguya's mortal enemy. Spending the night there would only compound the problem.
>> No. 2644
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

Fuck it. Our NEET's gonna be pissed at us again anyway. May as well make it worthwhile.
>> No. 2645
>>2642

The logic is that we get to rest our head on a hot chick's ass this way.

[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
>> No. 2646
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

Bah, we've already fulfilled our MAN quota with this morning's antics. Time to fill our perversion quota.
>> No. 2647
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2648
File 121134309566.jpg - (202.58KB , 700x568 , tasteofatewi.jpg ) [iqdb]
2648
This taste... it's of a liar!
TEWI.
>> No. 2649
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

I prefer my bad ends to be amusing, rather than just patently stupid.
>> No. 2650
[x] No.
>> No. 2651
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
Tewi's just fucking with us. Now, we're going to fuck with her.
>> No. 2652
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
>> No. 2653
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2654
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

MUST.
HAVE.
BUTTPILLOW.
>> No. 2655
>>2651
If you know what I mean
>> No. 2656
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?

It's okay. We're safe. I believe Tewi has long term plans for us, and will bestow more power, now that we're double-trashed. We also have warning if there's a night sparrow going to attack.

We should meet Alice tomorrow, bringing our little Saber, and maybe borrow a primer on doll manipulation. And she's proximal to Marisa's shed, which is obviously the beer god's shrine, the priest being Beer Spider. RESPEKT KNUCKLES! MORE BEER FOR THE BEER GODS! Fuck, we should some kind of self-defense weapon from Kourindou.
>> No. 2657
>>2656
We're Shirou. We can trace our own weapons.
>> No. 2658
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

BUTTPILLOW
>> No. 2659
[x] No (next most popular option is selected)
ITT, stupidity.
>> No. 2660
[x] No (next most popular option is selected)
This chance, I won't miss it
>> No. 2661
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).

YES ANON, LET'S WALK BACK TO EIENTEI ALONE, AND HEAVILY SMASHED

GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RETARDED WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO TRACE ON BUT WE WONT GET THROUGH THIS ALIVE
>> No. 2662
>“Shirou. Can you hear me Shirou?” A omnipresent voice asks.
“Yes? Who is this?” You sheepishly reply.
“I am the god to whom you offered sacrifice today. I want you to listen to me.” You feel kind of skeptical that a god would be talking to you, but you decide to humor the voice.
“Yes, I'm listening.”
“You have done well in getting drunk today and offering me tribute.” The voice states. “While I am slightly disappointed that you'd rather stop drinking in order to get home, I am still happy for your previous actions. To this end I wish to reward you. On the couch I have left you my pendant. It is proof of our covenant. Wear it and you shall have my protection.”
“Protection? Granted by a god?” You inquisitively ask.
“Yes, if you wear the pendant, you shall have slightly better luck at getting booze. Furthermore, you shall never be teabagged by obnoxious college roommates while you wear it.”
“Uhh, thanks that sounds... useful.” You retort.
“That's not all!” The voice exclaims. “You may or may not have better luck with women with it. And you'll be able to spot birds before they attack you. Excrement, Alfred Hitchcock style, or otherwise. In any case, enjoy it and keep drinking. If you serve me further you will be rewarded even more.”

More 'True Love' referencing? Teruyo, you magnificent bastard!!
>> No. 2663
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?

You people forgot. Tewi's been tailing us the entire trip. She OWNS the forest. Rested assure, if we do run across trouble that even the pendant can't protect us, we'll pass out, wake up in our room, with Tewi standing over us saying "So I hurd you liek took him 2 da bar".
>> No. 2665
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
[X] BUTTPILLOW

Why the hell do you faggots want to leave? Seriously, why? Dying in the forest would be bad, showing up there epically drunk would be bad, IT'S A NO-WIN SITUATION. If they wonder where we were all day just tell them everything up to leaving the tavern and the rest is just a blur. It probably will be anyway.
>> No. 2666
[x] Yes. What could go wrong?
We're not going through the forest alone. Tewi's following us. Did you really think that was the Beer God talking to you? You're so gullible, Anonymous.
>> No. 2667
>>2665
>“Me? I don't want anything from you. It's just that it's been six days and we haven't run into each other. Perhaps that was my luck working for you. I know all about you. I've had the rabbits keep an eye on you.”
>Tewi's been tailing us the entire trip.

Yes, because rather than man the fuck up (which has been the theme ALL DAY today) and walk home, we're going for the "smart" approach and sleep with the enemy, AGAIN! Going home drunk would be bad? How about Tewi blabbing about us hanging with Mokou again, right after Kaguya finally got over it and forgave us!

DRAGON NECKLACE/COLUMBIA NECKTIE END
>> No. 2668
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2669
>>2666
See >>2662

Throughout the game, if the protagonist raises a stat high enough, the God of that status (Strength, Fashion, Luck, Hard Work, Laziness, etc.) would thank him in his dreams, and give his stats and wallet a nice boost. Talking to all of them helps to lay all but two girls in the game on the same playthrough (2 are opposites, so both can't be laid in the same playthrough). Blatant reference is blatant, and YOU need to go play TL95 NOW! Get in touch with the classics!
>> No. 2670
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
Our luck is good tonight!
>> No. 2671
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
Pillow of a butt.
>> No. 2672
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
Stay on target. This is spending time with Mokou we're talking about. Kaguya's not actually all buddy-buddy praying for our safe return. And if Tewi is watching us and sees us not leaving, well...
>> No. 2673
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?

Cowards the lot of you.
>> No. 2674
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
Adventure time!
>> No. 2675
>>2663
Sure, let's put our trust in someone who tried to bury us when we fainted in front of her.
>> No. 2676
[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
Although Kaguya will be pretty pissed if we stay here, she'll be even more pissed if wer'e DEAD
going into the bamboo forest in the evening with no guide?
wtf anon, WTF.
>> No. 2677
>>2675
That was her ass if Kaguya knew it was her fault we passed out for the 20th time that day. Think how worse it'd be if she knew it was Tewi's fault that she let Random Hungry Youkai #492 devour us?

My guess: Have Eirin hunt her down and force-feed her the Hourai Elixir, then strap her up and allow Eirin to preform whatever unnatural and inhumane procedures (for SCIENCE, of course) on her for the rest of her unnaturally long days.

Tewi won't even risk the THOUGHT of it ever happening, which is why she's going to keep watching over us until we get back to Eientei.
>> No. 2678
>>2677
And Kaguya would find out how exactly? The same way she would've found out if Tewi'd buried us?
>> No. 2679
>>2678
The same way Eirin pretty much figured out our entire escapade with Mokou. The hills have eyes... Not necessarily Tewi's, but they're out there.
>> No. 2680
[x] No (next most popular option is selected)

Legendary buttpillow.
>> No. 2681
[x] No (next most popular option is selected).

Attention people who would rather walk around drunk in some shitty forest, instead of pressing your face into a fine piece of ass:

UR A FAGGET
>> No. 2682
>>2681
Attention idiots trying to get us to spend still more time with Kaguya's mortal enemy, thus assuring that we may never be forgiven: NO U and STAY ON TARGET. You can't unlock the Harem Route on the first playthrough!

[X] Yes (Okay, plenty could go wrong, but you gotta do what you gotta do.)
>> No. 2683
[X] Yes
>> No. 2684
[ ] Yes. What could go wrong?
Gonna try this, and pray there is no bad end.
>> No. 2685
>>2682

Hey, dumbass, Kaguya is going to be so much happier if we go and get ourselves killed or nearly killed right after we came out of a coma, during which she spent all her time praying for our safe recovery; that'll go way better than just using the ass of someone she rarely talks to as a pillow!

Idiot.

[X] No (next most popular option is selected).
>> No. 2686
[X] Yes. What could go wrong?
Yes goes in every field.
>> No. 2687
[x] No.

Every field, etc.
>> No. 2688
Yeah because drinking with her mortal enemy, sleeping at her house AGAIN and stumbling home hungover will really enamor Kaguya and all the Eientei girls to us. Unless you'd like to sober up for a day and make them worry where you've gone again?

All I know is, it's fine where we go during the day as long as we always go home to Eientei before sunrise. That shows we know where our loyalty lies.
>> No. 2689
>>2688

Technically, we're sleeping at Keine's, not Mokou's. And we were drinking with Keine before Mokou showed. Really, Mokou's rather incidental to this.
>> No. 2690
[ ] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2691
[X] No
>> No. 2692
>>2689
True. We are, however, still drinking with another lady and her best friend who happens to be mortal enemies with our best friend.

Once again, we are violating the sacred pact of Bros Before Hoes. And after such a manly showing earlier? Frankly, we should be ashamed.
>> No. 2693
[ ] Yes. What could go wrong?
>> No. 2694
Isn't just the afternoon or evening now, anyway? If we just nap, we can make it back to Eientei without any trouble come late evening or nightfall. Not to mention, we can tell the truth without getting in trouble here: "I ran into a friend I made the last time I was in the human village, and we got sloshed together. I would have come back right after, but I didn't want to worry you all by risking getting hurt right after that coma."

Bam, easy.

[X] No.
>> No. 2695
>>2694
We technically told the truth last time, too, if you'll recall. It didn't stop the less-than-favorable bits we glossed over from being found out.
>> No. 2696
>>2695

Yes, but this time we can just claim we were too smashed to remember most of the details. It would be fairly believable with the amount of alcohol we drank, too.
>> No. 2697
>>2696
I think you're missing the point.
Whether or not we choose to come clean about everything has nothing to do with whether or not they know the truth.

We're being watched. Someone KNOWS the truth already. The only effect what we do or do not tell has is on how deep a hole we dig for ourselves. Anything we leave out will be brought up by Eirin in her usual manner, or by Tewi who will use the information to regain her leverage over us. Neither one bodes well for us.

Besides that, if getting drunk with Keine and Mokou is enough to get us in trouble, I would think getting so drunk with Keine and Mokou that we can't remember everything that happened is going to be just as bad for us, if not worse.
>> No. 2698
>>2697

But if that's the case, what do you think they're going to frown on more? Us getting drunk with people who, while not all that chummy with Eientei, are still understandably our friends, then crashing with them? Or us getting drunk with them, then wandering into a deathtrap forest while still too piss drunk to navigate?

At least if we stay, we just upset them a little. Wandering into the forest does the same thing, except it also makes us look stupid, and will likely piss them off even more when they realize we don't care about our health at all despite Kaguya's earnest trips to the damn shrine to pray for our recovery. Hell, endangering our lives at this point is a downright callous disregard for Kaguya's concerns.
>> No. 2699
>>2696

Shirou doesn't lie.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter. The excuse is the same: God told us to.
>> No. 2700
>>2698
[x] No

Fuck it, you're right.
>> No. 2701
>>2698
Oh, I'm not saying we shouldn't stay at Keine's.
It's just that we're basically in a "damed if we do, damned if we don't" situation, and explaining away why we're getting drunk with Keine and Mokou and sleeping over isn't going to be easy.

I think our first order of business after leaving Keine's is to secure more booze and bring it back to Eientei. Everyone will probably be more inclined to forgive us if we come bringing gifts, and if nothing else getting everyone nice and sloshed is bound to be entertaining.
>> No. 2702
>>2701
>I think our first order of business after leaving Keine's is to secure more booze and bring it back to Eientei

I like this idea.
>> No. 2703
File 121139373952.jpg - (41.42KB , 486x294 , mokoukaguya2.jpg ) [iqdb]
2703
>I think our first order of business after leaving Keine's is to secure more booze and bring it back to Eientei.

But Mokou's drank it all. Another blow to the Kaguya fags.

Can't wait for Kaguya's "But why is the rum gone!?"
>> No. 2704
>>2703
Of course Mokou drank it all.
That's why we're going to go get MORE.
>> No. 2705
[X] No. BUTTPILLOW.
>> No. 2706
File 121142096527.jpg - (32.00KB , 500x300 , tombstone.jpg ) [iqdb]
2706
>> No. 2707
>>2706
I live! You cannot kill the messiah. But apparently you can nuke his internet.

After I read through all the comments, I shall resume full force.
>> No. 2708
Goddamn it guys, this shouldn't be that hard.

We stay at Keine's just long enough to sober up a bit, leave, go get ourselves some more booze, get our ass back to Eientei, and get wasted with our NEET.

A night of boozing, gaming, and drunkenly flaming people on the internet will strengthen our bonds like never before.
>> No. 2709
awesome
>> No. 2710
Well kiddies, it looks like the votes are tied, and due to my prolonged absence I feel it'd be unfair if I went for first to x number. So another plebiscite (this is getting old M I RITE?)

[ ] Flip your magical coin of undertermined nationality
[ ] No fuck you, first to x all the way (I am forgoing the careful resoning of all the posts just so my camp wins)
>> No. 2711
[X] but i want my buttpillow ;_;
>> No. 2712
>>2710

[X] Write whichever one will be more entertaining, and less likely to kill or disadvantage us.
>> No. 2713
[X] Flip your magical coin of undertermined nationality

Let Lady Luck decide our fate.
>> No. 2714
[x] Flip your magical coin of undertermined nationality
>> No. 2715
[x] Flip your magical coin of undertermined nationality

I leave it up to you
>> No. 2716
[ ] Flip your magical coin of undertermined nationality
>> No. 2718
[X] Flip your magical coin of undertermined nationality

Though I prefer buttpillow.
>> No. 2719
out of 2 out of 3 flips, tails won, hence buttpillow option. It looks like King Carl XVI Gustaf did not favor you.
>> No. 2720
File 121143431985.jpg - (37.03KB , 320x413 , Tewikeikaku.jpg ) [iqdb]
2720
>>2719
Eintei's going to LOVE hearing about this.
>> No. 2721
>>2719
who?
>> No. 2722
Hey guys, I think I just figured out a way to get on Kaguya's good side...

We have, right before us, her worst nemesis.
Unconscious.
Unguarded.
Vulnerable.

Why, practically anyone could just waltz on in and do almost anything to her.
What better time, then, to go about getting a little present for our good buddy, Kaguya?

We may be a little lagging behind in affection points now, but you could say that something like this would help us get a head.
>> No. 2723
>>2722

Read that as
>We may be a little lagging behind in affection points now, but you could say that something like this would help us get head.
>> No. 2724
File 121143663897.jpg - (16.15KB , 180x271 , Kusomiso.jpg ) [iqdb]
2724
[x] Buttpillow tiem

Ah fuck it. It doesn't look like you'd be able to get yourself through the door, much less all the way back to Eientei. You feel like the protagonist of NI after drinking cleaning alcohol with that salaryman. In other words, completely smashed. You look around for a place to collapse on. There doesn't seem to be many places within reach of your stumbling feet, but you suddenly get the best idea ever. Looking at the two girls, you see that your god has been merciful, and granted you with two places on which you can sleep comfortably on. You try to decide between the two, and you feel that it might be a bit safer to go with the mortal in this one.

You make your way to the schoolteacher, and gently (well as gently as you can in your inebriated state) turn her over until she is facing the floor. She doesn't even flinch as you then lie down and place your head on her gloriously soft cheeks. Oh man it feels as soft as the best of pillows, it's not lumpy at all. Feeling a state of bliss, you thank your god again for his generosity and drift off into sleep. You can figure out what to do in the morning.

You wake up as the first light of dawn hits your face. It would seem that your pillow is gone. You look around as the hangover from hell kicks in. Oh man your head feels like it's going to burst. Goddamn Youkai's Bane liquor, it packs quite the punch. You struggle along, getting up, and look around the room. Mokou is still sleeping, apparently still deeply, complete with little driblets of drool coming out of her mouth. It looks kinda cute in a drunkard sort of way. You stumble past the discarded bottles on your floor as you search for Keine. But that mystery is quickly solved as you find her making a big pot of coffee in the kitchen.

“Oh, you're up.” Keine says upon seeing you. “How'd you sleep?”
“Just fine, I felt like I had the world's comfiest pillow.” You say, not recalling your drunken antic
“Oh is that so?” Keine says while blushing heavily. “I'm making coffee for the three of us, could you wake up Mokou please?”

You nod and go back to wake up Mokou. It's only then that it hits you that you used Keine's butt as a pillow. Oh crap, you better apologize.

“Keine?” You say in a loud voice.
“Yes? What is it?” She replies from the kitchen.
“I'm sorry about last night I err-”
“No need to apologize!” She sounds extremely flustered and is probably red as a tomato. “We were completely drunk last night anyways! Forget about it.”

There would seem to be nothing else you can say as you go wake up Mokou. You at first gently call out her name, but she does not even stir. You then step up your volume and shake her a bit. No response. Getting even louder, you violently shake her. Still nothing. Damn she's out cold. Not wanting to lose out to her, you go get a glass of cold water from the kitchen. You show Mokou no mercy and splash it on her face. Almost immediately she wakes up with a start.

“Guh, geh. Where am I? What's going on?” She asked confused.
“It's just me, time to get up.” You reply.

Looking around, she begins to remember the events of last night and comes to her senses.

“Oh man, my head feels like it's going to split open!” She exclaims whilst wincing in pain.

You tell her that Keine is making coffee and she should wait in the meanwhile. As soon as you tell her that, Keine comes in sporting several cups of coffee and hands each one of you one. You all drink, hoping that the caffeinated beverage will help (you conveniently forgot that caffeine does not help hangovers at all, and in fact may assist dehydration, but oh well). After a short while, you speak up.

“Guys, I've got to get back to Eientei. They're probably worried about me.”
“I understand, I'd take you but I'm afraid this hangover is affecting my sense of direction.” Mokou quips.
“Wait a bit, I'll give you some water and a snack so you can eat something along the way.” Keine adds.

You thank Keine for her kindness and sit down while waiting. After 10 minutes or so, she hands you a gourd and a small pouch containing a few cookies.

“It's not much.” Keine says. “But it should get you to Eientei without collapsing.” She jocosely adds.
“Take care kid, make sure to come drink with me again sometime!” Mokou exclaims as you go for the door. You thank both of them for a fun evening and make your way out. You start upon the path, but you make a small detour back to the tavern. You see that the scene there is one of utter chaos. A plethora of buff shirtless men lie strewn about like straws blown by wind. Some of them seem to be on top of each other, passed out. How disgusting. You knick a couple of bottles from the tavern, noticing that the tavernmaster is passed out in the center and make your way out of there.

You're walking on the path back to Eientei. You start munching on the cookies Keine gave you, they're quite simple but nice. Your stomach thank you for the food, as you realize that you haven't for a while now. As you're blissfully munching on your cookies, you notice that your pendant is glowing. What the hell? It might have something to do with the fact that you feel like you're being watching. Shit - if that's the case you better do something in case you're about to get attacked. Or hell, since you're in the bamboo forest maybe they won't dare to attack if you leave them alone. Shit this is a tough call. If you knew where they were you might even had tried an option that involved your puny brawn, but that's just not an option with an unknown enemy.

[ ] Call out to whomever is watching you
[ ] Try to ignore it and hurry along
>> No. 2725
[x] Call out to whomever is watching you
"UR A FAGET"
>> No. 2726
[X] Call out to whomever is watching you

Because calling out anytime Tewi is even remotely nearby has never had any ill consequences for Anon, anywhere or anytime.
>> No. 2727
[X] Call out to whomever is watching you

HEEEEEEY! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM!
>> No. 2728
[X] Call out to whomever is watching you.

Let's see. Who could it be...

I wonder, I wonder.
>> No. 2729
[x] Call out to whomever is watching you

challenge them to thumb wresting.
>> No. 2730
[ ] Call out to whomever is watching you

We can spot birds before they attack us and I can think of one hostile bird and one annoying bird.
>> No. 2731
[x] Call out to whomever is watching you

Sup Alice
>> No. 2732
Hey, the god said it was an early warning system for birds, right? That means Aya's on the scene.

[X] Shit. Might as well call her out.
>> No. 2733
File 121143855918.jpg - (39.99KB , 441x471 , SHAMEIMARU.jpg ) [iqdb]
2733
[x] Call out to whomever is watching you

You call out to whomever is watching you, hoping that they'll reply. Sure enough, there is movement amongst the bamboo as you call out. A blurry flash crosses your eyes and before you know it there is a girl standing right before you. She has red eyes and longish black hair. She's wearing a white blouse with a black skirt. She seems to have a small notebook in her hands and is staring at you intently.

“Good morning sir, my name is Aya Shameimaru and I'm a reporter. Here's my card.” She hands you over a card that says 'Aya Shameimaru Tengu Writer' for some reason you feel like the word 'writer' is wrong and you feel compelled to replace it with another word starting with 'w', but you restrain yourself and let her continue.

“I'm terribly sorry for shadowing you, but in Gensokyo not all parties are willing to be the subject of a news story.” She says quickly, taking no time to breathe. You're stunned at her fast talking as she continues. “Anyways, I was doing nothing suspicious, just checking out a couple of rumors that an outsider had made his way to Eientei. By outsider I mean of course, from beyond the border, since people do occasionally visit Eientei for other purposes. I'm definitely not saying that the hospitality offered by Kaguya is subpar, oh no I jus-”

“STOP.” You blurt out admist her rapid rambling. She stops and looks at you inquisitively.

“I don't need to know every single detail, I just want to know what do you want from me?” You say.

“Ah yes, sorry, I got a little sidetracked. I just wanted a couple of pictures of you and if possible an interview to put up in my newspaper, the Bunbunmaru. It'll only be a couple of moments, and it sure beats having to take candid pictures from a distance. I wished to do so yesterday, but apparently you were at a private function so I did not wish to disturb you. I know all about your exploits in the village and I'd like to follow-up on those as well.”

Well, she seems harmless enough, and you can't say that you'd prefer to have her tailing you everywhere, taking candid pictures of you. On the other hand, her fast-talking ways do annoy you. Well, you've got a couple bottles of booze, so running away might be a bit tricky, but you could try to lose her anyways.

[ ] Let her interview you
[ ] Run away
>> No. 2734
>>Well, she seems harmless enough

Ah ha ha...
>> No. 2735
[ ] Let her interview you
[ ] Ask Aya to join you for a drink
Time to resume drinking!
>> No. 2736
>>2733
>23:10
>23:42

Assuming you started writing at the fifth vote, you're moving pretty damn fast tonight. I was expecting a much more slowpoke pace. Good job.

[x] Let her interview you
[x] Tell her to give you a ride to eientei

Better to atleast get part of your side in.
>> No. 2737
[X] Let her interview you
[X] Tell her to walk with you

multitasking. pictures later.
>> No. 2738
[X] Agree to an interview in exchange for a lift to Eientei.

It's inevitable, and we're not going to be able to run from Gensokyo's fastest, so we might as well get something out of it.
>> No. 2739
[X] Let her interview you
[X] Tell her to walk with you
>> No. 2740
[x] Lean in close until your lips are only a centimeter or two away from her ears, whisper "Bunbunmaru News sucks"
[x] Run like hell
>> No. 2741
[X] Let her interview you
[X] Tell her to walk with you

Yeah, like we'll really get away from Gensokyo's fastest.
>> No. 2742
>(you conveniently forgot that caffeine does not help hangovers at all, and in fact may assist dehydration, but oh well)

It's more complex than that. First of all caffeine alleviates the acetaldehyde-mediated vasodilation, which is responsible for the headache. Second, its CNS stimulant action helps the morning torpor. It is a diuretic, so yeah take it with water, or better yet an electrolyte drink. Finally, the other antioxidant properties of coffee may save some of those liver cells.
>> No. 2743
File 121144079355.jpg - (236.02KB , 456x602 , aya.jpg ) [iqdb]
2743
[X] Let her interview you
[X] Tell her to walk with you

You agree to let her interview you, but on the condition that she do it whilst you make your way back to Eientei.

“Sure that works for me.” She replies. “Let me try to tell you what I've got so far. You can correct me if I'm wrong. You came here as the guest of Kaguya of Eientei, have been staying with her for roughly a week now, you two are friends.” You nod, agreeing with her summary; she continues. “During the course of said week, you've managed to cause general chaos at both Eientei and the local tavern, damaging property and elevating the security levels of both.” Just who the hell is her source? You try to protest, but she continues unabated. “It is clear that the cause of both incidents rests squarely on your shoulders, as does the debauchery that occurred at both the tavern and at a private party consisting of the subject and two nameless females.” You try to get in a word edgewise, but it's useless, she just continues to talk. “You are being called by some the king of deprivation and sleaze, seducing innocent maidens appears to be your favorite pastime, and you've brought nothing but chaos and disorder, mirroring your own dystopic world.”

Wait, king of sleaze, you? SHAMEIMARU! It looks like she's just going to keep bombarding you with baseless accusations and draw up her own conclusions.

“You've also been sighted interacting with other persons from beyond Eientei, and it is to be assumed that you have tinged them with your loose morals and lack of decency. It would seem that this is an epidemic that can affect all of Gensokyo and the general populace has to warned at once!” She continues. Is this a newspaper or just a trashy tabloid? You start wondering. You've walked quite a bit now, but it seems that Eientei is still quite a ways. If this keeps up, by the time you reach Eientei, you'll have become some sort of monster that corrupts societies whole without warning. You've got to do something to stop this.

[ ] Attempt to bribe her
[ ] Threaten her
[ ] Try to get her to write about something else
[ ] Anemia option
>> No. 2745
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"
>> No. 2746
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"
I love this. BUUUUUUUUUUUURN.
>> No. 2747
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"
[x] Rape
>> No. 2748
[ ] Anemia option

Then...

[ ] Blackmail
>> No. 2749
>>2746

[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"

Oh god, so coldblooded but awesome.
>> No. 2750
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"
>> No. 2752
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"

Agreeing with this.
>> No. 2753
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"
>> No. 2754
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"

then...

[x] ANEMIA
>> No. 2755
[x] Challenge her to a game of tennis. Over there.
SHAMEIMARU
>> No. 2756
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"
[X]SHAMEIMARU/
>> No. 2757
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"

Bloody brilliant.
>> No. 2758
File 121144461491.jpg - (217.86KB , 512x754 , aya2.jpg ) [iqdb]
2758
[x] "So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?"

You decide to try to insult her to snap her out of her endless barrage.

"So I can easily seduce innocent women? Does that imply you aren't one, Miss Shameimaru?" You coolly say. Hearing that, Aya freezes up. “I-uhh, you know, being a journalist and all...” She seems to be at a loss for words, you continue your onslaught of cold words, hoping to dissuade her from pursuing her article.

“Listen here, Miss Shameimaru, IF hypothetically speaking, I were the cold blooded monster that you make me out to speak, what's stopping me from catching you and having my way with you?” You step in closer, leaving scant centimeters between you and the tengu. “I know I would not be able to restrain myself, upon seeing such an alluring morsel before me.” You lean in and start to whisper. “Who knows the kind of things I might do.” You place your hand on her leg, and start to slowly run it up to her thighs. “And if the one in front of me weren't a pure girl, oh my I'd have a field day doing things with a more experienced woman.”

With your other hand, yo open her blouse slightly, exposing her bra. Wasting no time, you also loosen her skirt. By now she's completely clammed up, fidgeting and blushing, as you take your hand that was loosening her clothes and run it through her hair, stroking her face gently on the way. You move the hand that's on her thigh even further. As your fingers reach her inner thigh, you carry on speaking. “But all of this is hypothetical, I surely could not be such an evil creature. To -prey-” As you say that word you move your hand further up her skirt. You're now groping her over her panties. “upon the innocent, such a thing does not suit me at all.” You stimulate her nether regions whilst concurrently fondling her breasts. She is is still in shock and is as red as a tomato. Despite this, she seems to be enjoying it. You step up your work and she starts moaning softly. Her now labored breathing indicates that her body is being most honest with your caresses. Pleased at your handiwork, you go as far as kissing her passionately, and surprisingly you can feel that her tongue seeks yours. She desperately tries to intertwine her own tongue with yours, as her body seeks even more pleasure from your hands. You break away from the deep kiss and note that she tries to kiss you of her own volition. You laugh in your mind but then decide to finish this for now. You turn her head a bit and blow a bit of air at her ear whilst stimulating her breasts and elsewhere. By now, you've got your fingers inside her panties and are directly stimulating her now very moist pussy. She starts moaning loudly, with no reserve, as you notice with your blowing that her ears seem to be extra sensitive. You step up your stimulus, start kissing her neck, purposely leaving hickeys, and then kiss her once more. Her tongue is even more frantic this time as you kiss her as long as you can without stopping to breathe. When you can take no more, you break the kiss, you hear her gasp, and then deliver the coup de grâce - stimulating her nipples and clit as you nibble on her ears gently. She shakes completely and then collapses in your arms. You smile with a devilish grin on your face. Just as planned.

“Well then Miss Shameimaru, it is most fortunate that I am not such a person. Otherwise who knows what might have happened.” You snicker as you start walking away, leaving her lying on the path. “And if hearsay and rumors were to happen to appear in a certain magazine, who knows what kind of monster might be born.” You pause as you make your way back to her collapsed form and then kneel down by her head. You then whisper. “That monster just might come back and find himself obliged to have his way with a certain overly enthusiastic but loose tengu writer.” You walk away confident in your victory. “Let's just hope nothing like that ever happens Miss Shameimaru, it'd be a true tragedy.” You say as you walk away, back turned.

You continue to walk away from a very stunned and confused Aya. It seems you went a bit overboard with the stimulus, but she probably deserved it. You hope that she'll back off now. Heh, you can't believe she was like putty once you took the initiative with her, it shows just how worldly and experienced she *really* is. If she's anything like other women, she'll keep this incident to herself in shame. How predictable.

You continue to make your way to Eientei, content at your victory just now. It's a good sign that you can still win some battles. After a while, you arrive at Eientei. Everything seems to be normal. No one comes out to greet you, but that's probably because there wasn't that much cause for alarm with your disappearance, they must've known you were going to town. You still reek of booze, so if you're going to see someone it might be a good idea to take a bath and change clothes (this kimono is also slightly torn). On the other hand, you can drink to celebrate your recent victory over a certain pesky reporter. You should also offer tribute to your god since your pendant warned you of her presence. Or you can just choose to go see someone right away.

[ ] Take a bath
[ ] Drink and offer tribute
[ ] Go see someone
[ ] Collapse on your bed
>> No. 2759
>>2758

FUCKING AWESOME.
>> No. 2760
[ ] Take a bath
[ ] Drink and offer tribute
>> No. 2761
[ ] Take a bath

Superb. Simply superb.
>> No. 2762
[ ] Take a bath
[ ] Drink and offer tribute
>> No. 2763
File 121144500692.jpg - (49.55KB , 330x246 , Shirouscared.jpg ) [iqdb]
2763
WUT.
I DIDN'T WANT TO SEX THAT WHORE
[x] Take a bath
MUST GET THE TENGU SMELL OFF ME!
>> No. 2764
[ ] Take a bath
And see what follows.
>> No. 2765
[ ] Take a bath while drinking and offering tribute

FUCK YES, YOU ARE THE BEST GOD EVER!!
>> No. 2766
File 121144528188.png - (79.96KB , 214x231 , goodjobrin.png ) [iqdb]
2766
Damn. And to think, before a week of our guidance, this faggot was jerking off on anime toys.

Good show, everyone.
>> No. 2767
>>2758

Well, that write-in went better than planned.
>> No. 2768
[x] Take a bath
[x] Drink and offer tribute

Continue your offering, and receive more gifts!
>> No. 2769
>>2767
What can I say, I got a little carried away. But I did have something similar planned for another one of the options, this just helped it happen better. Also it's kinda my way of apologizing for going AWOL for a whole day. I also feel guilty about playing SD Gundam instead of writing updates sometimes.

Also pre-empting the 'correction' of 'pussy' with 'cloacka'. My 10% and 20% are mostly human.
>> No. 2770
>My 10% and 20% are mostly human

I bet there's a good percentage of Anon that doesn't give a damn.
>> No. 2771
So, wait, Anon just told Aya that if she talks smack about him, he'll have sex with her?

Does anyone else see the problem here?
>> No. 2772
>>2771

..No?
>> No. 2773
>>2758

Wait, so where's my nerdy AnoNEET Shirou?

Also, STAY ON FUCKING TARGET AND DON'T SEX UP RANDOM TENGUWS JUST BECAUSE THEY TALK TRASH ABOUT YOU
FUCK!
>> No. 2774
Let me try again:

1. Aya threatens libel.
2. Anon doesn't want Aya to do that.
3. Therefore, Anon speeds about the bases.
4. Then, Anon threatens to further touch base if Aya does print lies about him.

See, the problem is face three, and the fact that it might influence with decision Aya decides to take. Now, let's see. Not print an outrageous, eye-catching story and not have sex, or print an outrageous, eye-catching story and then have sex?

Hmmmmmmm.

HMMMMMMM.

I WONDER WHICH SHE WILL PICK.
>> No. 2776
>>2774

Except that this Anon doesn't really have a reputation he needs to uphold?

So really, it's as good a threat as any.
>> No. 2777
File 121144726430.jpg - (549.51KB , 726x800 , eirinbow1.jpg ) [iqdb]
2777
>>2774
Hey, Eirin. There's this stupid reporter spreading rumors about me claiming I'll have sex with her is she prints a story about me sexing it up with every female in a 100 mile radius, INCLUDING her. Think you can do something about her, please?
>> No. 2778
>>2771
Eh, despite our words, I think the general message we were trying to get across was more "Stay on my good side, and you'll get more of this."
>> No. 2779
[ ] Take a bath
[ ] Drink and offer tribute
>> No. 2780
>>2773
Fuck you YAF, it's good like he wrote it, we need to sex up Aya more, show that whore whose the boss.
>> No. 2781
File 121144903240.jpg - (11.70KB , 175x175 , note.jpg ) [iqdb]
2781
[x] Take a bath
[x] Drink and offer tribute

You decide to multi task. In a flash of divine inspiration, you decide to drink and bathe simultaneously. You first get your spare set of clothes from your room. You then make your way to the bath and strip yourself quickly. You bring a bottle of booze with you into the bath and leisurely sip whilst enjoying the sensation of the water. You thank your god for the bounty he has bestowed upon you and touch the proof of your covenant. Man, you feel like hot shit. Like that the protagonist of Three Sister's Story after making that pesky security guard 'succumb' to his will. You secretly hope that your god enjoys galge as well. That way you can heartfully spread his word to all those who would listen. If you had known about him before, your days back home would have been more interesting, to say the least.

You really feel like you're on the top of the world. You see Albion amongst your discarded clothes and you decide to play with her in the bath. You lovingly talk to the doll, taking care not to get her wet, and examine her closely. It would seem that Alice included a small retractable string connected to a ring that you can attach to your finger in order to manipulate her. Handy. You stare into the doll's green eyes and feel a hint of nobility. This doll is obviously modeled on some sort of proud warrior or stoic woman of power. It seems that she has a couple more secrets to her, but you instead put her away and resume your drinking. After drinking your fill, you make sure you're completely clean and step out of the bath. You towel yourself off and change into your spare clothes. As you put your stuff away, you notice a note in your clothes. It's written on some very cute stationary.

You immediately read it. It says in very cute handwriting a simple message:

“Come see me ASAP -Reisen”

Hmm, It'd seem like our bunnygirl wants to see you. You could go see her now, she's probably in the kitchen or at Eirin's, or you could ignore the note and instead meditate or go off chasing Tewi (for god knows what, chances are you'll end up as part of some building's foundation or buried alive).

[ ] Go check out the kitchen
[ ] Go to Eirin's
[ ] Go meditate
[ ] Catch that wascal of a wabbit somehow
----------------
I'm kinda busy with IRL stuff right now so next reply might take 7 minutes.
>>2773
THAT WHORE HAD IT COMING TO HER.
>> No. 2782
[ ] Go check out the kitchen
>> No. 2783
[ ] Go to Eirin's

It's a fair guess. I doubt she has anything particularly nice to say, though.
>> No. 2784
[x] Go to Eirin's

Well, we became badass pretty past.
>> No. 2785
>Like that the protagonist of Three Sister's Story after making that pesky security guard 'succumb' to his will.
lol that scene was funny, at least i know where your inspiration comes from.

[ ] Go check out the kitchen
>> No. 2786
[ ] Go to Eirin's
>> No. 2787
[ ] Go check out the kitchen
If we go to Eirin's, we'll end up committing ourselves to helping her if Reisen isn't there. If Reisen's not in the kitchen, then we can check Eirin's.
>> No. 2788
>>2784
>>pretty past

Looks like I deleted one error in time, but missed another.
>> No. 2789
>Three Sister's Story

I already love your taste in Vn/eroge, so I'mma go download this one quick fast.

Also [X] Go check out the kitchen
>> No. 2790
>>2781
Goddamit teru i hope you aren't going to pull a "Tewi saw that and now you're fucked" gig, we didn't want to sex up the whore.
Also

[X] Go check out the kitchen
>> No. 2791
File 121145432646.jpg - (269.92KB , 1050x1500 , moereisen.jpg ) [iqdb]
2791
[x] Go check out the kitchen

That note bothers you, so you decide to try to find Reisen as soon as possible. You decide to look for Reisen in the kitchen first. You don't find her there, but as you're leaving you see her walking down the corridor. You call out to her and she stops and turns to you.

“Ah Shirou!” She greets you. “I was hoping that you'd come back soon.”
“What's up Reisen? What's with the note?” You ask.
“Well it's about Lady Kaguya. She's been gone since yesterday and she still hasn't come back”
“What!? Kaguya has been gone since yesterday? How come no one has gone out to look for her?”
“Well, umm... master said that it was okay, that she probably ended up chatting with someone and forgot the time. Plus, we didn't want to leave this place alone.” Goddammit Eirin, why aren't you worried about your ally? “In any case, I was wondering if you might be worried enough to check it out.” Reisen continues. “It might be nothing, but you never know. The problem is, I don't know what shrine she went off to, so if you go out looking for her, you'd have to rely on your own intuition.”

Goddammit, this situation sucks. You have no confirmation whether or not Kaguya is okay, and you frankly don't know if it's a good idea to go out looking for her. As far as you know there are two shrines in Gensokyo, but you still have a less than 50% chance at finding her considering that she might have gone elsewhere or might be on another path or something. Crap moments like these are difficult. You don't even know the way to these shrines so you'd have to rely on a guide to get to these places. If you decide to go look for her, you should ask someone to tag along so you don't get lost.

[ ] Go find Kaguya
[ ] Calm down and stay put
>> No. 2792
>>If you decide to go look for her, you should ask someone to tag along so you don't get lost.

TEWI
YOUR TIME HAS COME

[x] Go find Kaguya
>> No. 2793
>>2791
[x] Call out for Tewi

The ninja's can get us to Moriya Shrine in a snap! That's half the problem solved!
>> No. 2794
[x] Go find Kaguya
[x] Call out for Tewi.
>> No. 2795
>>2794
>>2793
COULD YOU FAGGOTS AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHOICE OKTHXBAI.
>> No. 2796
>>2795
Fine, Snippy!

[x] Go find the non-NEET

Kaguya's losing her NEETish ways quicker than we are gaining social skills and status.
>> No. 2797
Due to the slowness of this hour, I am going to wait a few hours before posting more, keep on voting (even though it's kinda obvious that go find kaguya will win).
>> No. 2798
[X] Go find Kaguya
>> No. 2799
[X] Go find Kaguya

MUST FIND DELICIOUS NEET

What are the odds that she decided to pull a disappearing act to teach us a lesson?
>> No. 2800
[ ] Go find Kaguya
>> No. 2801
[x] Go find Kaguya
[x] Call out for Tewi.
>> No. 2802
[X] Go find Kaguya
[X] EIRIN, EIRIN, TASUKETE EIRIN!

Seriously, I know Kaguya probably doesn't go out much, but you would think Eirin would have put some sort of tracking device on the NEET just in case she wandered outside and got lost or something.
>> No. 2803
[X] Go find Kaguya, but first,
find Tewi and tell her HAY, LEND ME A COMPANY OF FUKKIN WABBITS! I NEED EM TO FIND KAGUYA OKTHXBAIBAI!
>> No. 2804
[X] Go find Kaguya

More likely Hakurei since she knows that miko better. She says she's been praying for us; how much you want to bet we've been praying to the same god? Probably got wasted like us and fell asleep.

On the other hand she might've been playing the vidya with the only other human outsider, Sanae. Although we might get into a fight with Momizi over what we did with Aya; bringing someone from Eientei along would be bad in said situation, except Tewi, who probably already knows.
>> No. 2805
How the hell do they NOT know where Kaguya is?
They've got rabbits everywhere, and if the damn things could track us to some little cave to peep on us snuggling with Mokou, I find it hard to believe they wouldn't try to keep an eye on their princess.

Then again, that could be why Eirin doesn't seem too concerned by her absence.

Or, perhaps they do know, and this is some sort of test or lesson for us.

In any case, we have but one path ahead of us. With our newfound MANLINESS, we shall set out to reclaim our silky-haired NEET maiden, take her into our arms, carry her back to Eientei, and woe unto anyone who dares get in our way.
>> No. 2806
>>2797
Where are you when you are needed, come here and write until you drop dead.
>> No. 2807
>>2805
>How the hell do they NOT know where Kaguya is?
>They've got rabbits everywhere, and if the damn things could track us to some little cave to peep on us snuggling with Mokou, I find it hard to believe they wouldn't try to keep an eye on their princess.

Obviously, whatever Kaguya is doing, she doesn't want to be found, at least by us and Reisen. Firstly the rabbits only listen to Tewi, who isn't going to let Reisen in on any secrets. Second, Eirin isn't concerned, so Kaguya probably told her something. Kaguya's probably just giving Shirou a taste of his own medicine, and wants to see his reaction.
>> No. 2808
>>2807
All the more reason to track her down, bust down the door, take her into our arms, and drag her back if we have to. Our booze awaits!
>> No. 2809
>>2808

Exactly. Imagine her surprise when she awakens from an alcohol-induced coma to the repeated sound of clinking beer bottles and "Kaguya, come out to pla~ay!".