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Youmu is naked. She has Hakurouken to her own palm, preparing to cut away her confusion to attain PURE FOCUS on top of her TRAINED WARRIOR FOCUS and MAD OBSESSION FOCUS.
"Lady Yuyuko... What are you doing on my computer?"
You must act now, before Youmu cuts her palm and is too focused to be caught off guard!
Youmu's pale breast aren't much of a target, though they're absolutely adorably sized, and perfectly perky, to boot. You, however, are panicking, and need a target you won't miss.
Youmu's thighs form a gap so wide that her legs are never actually closed, even with her knees knocking. Long have you worshiped those thighs, trained on your WONDERLAND-Brand life-sized Youmu doll for exactly this moment!
Calling upon your Youmulestation training, you take aim.
You do not think.
You do not feel.
In this moment, where your Youmu stands before you naked and armed, you have only one option.
You only do.
Fingers slide into target, splitting folds, resting exactly as intended. Fingers insert into slot. Savor Youmu's blushing face of realization. Lips to pale left nipple serve as support. Lift tiny, light Youmu before Youmu can register. Bend knees 90 degrees and lean back. Raise arm over head, using momentum, tilt neck in sync to provide proper guidance.
The sound of floorboards shattering breaks you from your MOLESTIAL TRANCE.
You remove your lips from Youmu's nipple and your finger from her snatch (training causing you to give her a good luck rub from habit).
You may have applied too much force, as Youmu's head is now located somewhere in the hole in the floorboards you've just created.
Not bothering to check if she's alright, you act now before it's too late.
You run back to the bathroom and grab EIRIN'S SHADY DRUGS.
Reading the instructions on the back, you take out a single pill and take the portion suggested for one ADULT FULL GHOST, three copious, moist and sensual licks, as though upon the neck of your beloved Youmu, then inserted anally up to the wrist at the very least. Oddly specific, but the doctor knows best.
Being a ghost, you simply put the pill directly inside your stomach, as you don't actually have time to work up the nerve to apply a suppository properly. It's a shame, but time is of the essence.
No sooner did the pill hit your stomach when you feel a stirring under your bloomers.
Looking down you screech in terror!
A-A-A-IT'S A... A...
It's too awful! You can't say it! It-
Feels really, REALLY painful. The awful thing is throbbing and feels tight... Reaching for it, youuouou-
This tingling sensation...
... You must use this. You must use this on Youmu. Seeing her with her head buried in the floorboards, the position forcing her gloriously pale rear into the air, you know you must use it on her...
... But you're not entirely sure how. You only just sprouted this thing, after all.
At a time like this, help might be appreciated. You don't deal with icky men at all, they can't experience PURE LOVE, after all.
From your robes you pull a CHINESE GONG. Giving the gong a healthy smack with the medicine bottle causes its haunting tone to echo throughout all of Gensokyo.
A moment passes...
The wall tears as a blonde girl jumps through swinging some kind of instrument around like a wand and making a ridiculous, slightly painful, but nevertheless cute looking pose.
"The summons of a maiden in distress have been heard! Rising from the depths of the long forgotten past, the beloved, but forgotten Third Daughter of Ota, Satsuki Rin has arrived to make all of your troubles go away! No problem is too big or too small for the pure Kirin's aid!"
Her line said, the newcomer took stock of the situation.
She saw a pale naked girl with her head buried in the floorboards and a pale pink-headed woman with something trying to throb its way out of her kimono at about crotch level.
Not knowing the proper response to something like this, the newcomer froze. She could not process this.
You snap your fingers, but she doesn't respond. An incomplete character can only handle so much shock at once, after all.
Seeing that the newcomer probably wasn't going to teach you how to work this thing, you hatch a new plan.
You adjust your hat on the Kirin's head. She sat stock still in that comfy wheelie chair, looking like the worst Yuyuko Impersonator ever, but considering Youmu's current condition, hopefully she won't notice when she wakes up.
Though you tried to do things to Youmu with your new d-d-d...
Though you tried to do things to Youmu with your new 'stick', you couldn't figure out how it was supposed to work. You tried to stick it into Youmu's butt like you heard men do, but then you thought too much about it and grossed yourself out. You tried to stick it in Youmu's clam, but Not-So-Pure Youmu is still a virgin, and you can't get it in. You try sticking it in that little hole under it, just to see if it would work. Regardless to say, it didn't.
If only you knew even the first thing about men's dicks, you could figure this out...
"I can't take this anymore!"
A SPOOKY GHOST hand grab yours with no warning.
Turning, you see a sheet white Youmu glaring at you. Sheet white, like a ghost. Or a GHOST HALF. And, coincidentally, like hospital room walls with no decorations on them.
"You need to lube it up first, Lady Yuyuko! Now spit on your dick!"
Youmu's grip on your dick is like that of a vice. A very cold vice.A vice being tightened by a mad woman who's about to crawl back from the brink of defeat and have your babies if it's the last thing she does. Like-
"Do it now, Lady Yuyuko!"
You're interrupted by Roukanken's blade biting into your neck as Youmu's ghost half demands you do this. How you're supposed to aim your spit properly in a situation like this is problem enough, but then there's the problem that Youmu's COLD GHOST HAND has killed your boner, and with it, the insanity that was your first shady-drug-fueled erection.
And with all of that out of the way, you can finally THINK CLEARLY.
You phase through Youmu, falling through her, then the floor beneath you as you keep falling, then through the ground until you fall out the bottom of the floating rock that houses your castle, then to the border of the afterlife, then through a couple fairies, then to the ground.
From there, you stand up. You ask a nice, if groggy looking slightly-chubby snow woman for directions, then make a beeline for the Hakurei, phasing through everything. Once you arrive, you ask for permission to cross the border.
One box of mochi later, your clutching the air-tight kappaziplock bag with a branch from your tree, wearing a modern outside outfit that is apparently worn by female sailors, and walking across the border.
You are Saigyouji Yuyuko. You're currently teaching at Kessennuma Girl's High School in Miyagi. You're not sure why, but students from your classes keep committing suicide. It's tragic every time, and too painful to bear. To help fight something so terrible, you've begun the Teachers for Students campaign to help improve schools for students everywhere.
Every now and then, before you sleep, you'll go on the internet. You'll get on Tor, find the kappa net, check Youmu's Facescroll, just to see if she's doing alright. She became a PLAYABLE CHARACTER again while you were gone. TWICE. That poor Kirin you summoned is YUYUTWO now, by the way. You almost feel sorry for her.
You miss home. You miss it terribly. But now that you're here, you've founed a better purpose in life.
Making sure Youmu doesn't follow you.
I don't know where all that shit up there came from, but this is the result of getting distracted many, MANY times over the course of one day. I have a tiny attention span.
Well, there we go, that's it. For November's writing thing, I'll write something and link it here. It might be good, it might not be. It probably won't be. But, fuck it, why not?
Happy November, folks!