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7330 No. 7330
Frequenting this board inspired me to write a story of my own. I've been (trying to) write stories for about two years now, so feel free to throw some feedback. I am still adding to this, albeit slowly, so can you tolerate me?

>> No. 7332
The feeling of deep warmth permeates over your entire body, followed by a slightly chilly sensation. You open your eyes, but immediately shut them again due to a bright white glare. You move your hand and hold it over your face, and open your eyes a second time. All you can see up there are white fluffy clouds, lazily rolling along the blue sky.

You push yourself upright and take in all the sights before you. You see a grassy field, but in the distance, the field is overcome by a forest. The grass is pretty thick and soft, a nice place to have slept in. A gentle breeze is blowing, rustling the grass and the leaves of the trees in the distance.

But why did you go to sleep in a field? There is a perfectly fine and comfy bed waiting at home for you. Why on Earth... oh right, now you remember. There was to be a large celebration in the town, and you were one of the volunteers to gather wood for an enourmous fire.

You were picking up a particularly large branch, when a small object flew from the twigs and behind a nearby tree. You walk over to the tree as silently as you can, leaving the sticks you gathered back by the large branch so they wouldn't give your position away. Standing there behind the tree was a little bird with brown on the back, an almond color on its chest, and black lines under its eyes. You remember one of your neighbors telling you stories about birds that look like this, but what did he call it? A...night sparrow? That seems right.

So, you found a night sparrow. It finally turns around in its nervousness and spots you staring at it. Instead of fleeing again, it stands there, staring back at you, completely frozen. What was it that your neighbor told you about them? Oh yes, they had an amazing singing voice. You wondered how this dull bird could ever sing anything beautiful.

You try and lower you height, so you would seem less threatening to the little creature before you, lying flat on your stomach with your hands under your chin to support your head. You reach one hand out and poke it with your index finger. It stares at your finger and looks slightly confused, or what you can guess is confused. It's almost as if it was expecting you to eat it or something. "Please sing little bird," you think to yourself, as if the bird could read your mind. The bird's attention shifts from your finger straight to you. It voices a small chirp, then hops away, even deeper into the forest.

You push yourself up to your feet and follow the direction it went in. The trek was easy at first, but after a while, the thick canopy of the trees begins to blot out the sun. It has seemingly created an artificial night. You stumble ever forward, but you are pretty sure the little bird has lost you. In fact, you are pretty lost yourself now. As soon as you turn around, (or what you think was turning around) you hear a series of chirps coming from beyond the veil of darkness. You try your hardest to try and walk towards the sound, but this darkness seems to distort all of your senses.

Now the darkness is making you see things, because there seems to be a light shining through the trees up ahead. You slide and shove yourself between two last trees, and you step into the sky exposed area. It is a small grassy area, with only a single tree growing in the center. The tree wasn't overly large like the rest of the forest, but it did have plenty of branches anyway. In one of those branches, you notice a bird's nest, sitting comfortably in a split of a branch. Stepping over the roots and straining your neck to get a view, you see a single egg. It was pretty white, with small pink speckles
scattered on its surface.

Something suddenly jerks you backward and you trip on an exposed tree root. You instinctively throw your hands behind yourself, but as your rear lands in a patch of grass, your hand is scraped by some rather sharp bark on a root. Surveying the damage on your hand, it seemed to only be superficial damage. Looking back towards the tree you were so quickly seperated from, you notice a mysterious character now standing in the space you once occupied.

"Ohh, I really didn't mean to almost kill you like that. Here, let me look." The voice she spoke with was surprisingly soft, yet carried grace within it. She stepped forward, and sat on the ground next to you, taking your hand and tracing some of the scratches with her index finger. "It doesn't look too bad, but I'm sure it hurt all the same." She releases your hand and you draw it towards your chest, clenching it into a fist; it still feels tender from the scratches but it is easily ignored.
>> No. 7333
The girl before you wore a simple knee-length brown dress, with ribbons that looked like feathers running downward in a line. She wore a brown cap, that had feathers attatched to it at the top. There were a pair of wings that seemingly came out of her back. Her skin was smooth and her eyes were a golden yellow that reminded you of the sun.

As you sit there, her eyes are completely locked on you. "Uhm.. I know I'm not in a position to ask you to do anything.. but I was wondering," at this point, her focus shifts away from me, and to the section of forest directly behind her. "I was hoping you could help me with a small problem."

At least she knew that she was causing you problems already, but maybe she would sing you a song if you assisted her first. "I suppose I could, if you promise me some kind of reward." Her head spun around at an amazing speed, causing her silly feathered hat to slightly spin too far. Her eyes were lit in excitement. "Alright! I'll definitely owe you something for helping me with this. Come over here," and she stands up, grabbing one of your arms and pulling you over to area that she was watching earlier. "Further in the forest in this direction lives a particularly nasty creature that has been constantly pestering me. It constantly threatens to eat me and my eggs if I ever let my guard down. I want you to kill it, or at least try to make it leave me alone."

Staring into the darkness of the forest, you wonder just how you would be able to navigate through any of it. "Just how big a creature is it? How would I be able to fight it?" She stared at you with a quizzical look on her face then turned and walked over to the tree in the center of the clearing, and kneeling close to the roots, dug around slightly in the dirt. Under one of the tree roots, she removed an odd stone. She stood upright and raced back over to you, handing the stone over. "This should help you. Try not to lose it, alright?"

The stone was.. aw hell it looked like a plain old rock. Slightly rough and gray, with dark spots on it from the dirt it was laying in. "I dont see how this.."

"Shh, just go find the creature. You'll see what it does. Oh, by the way, you can call me Mystia." Right as you were about to give her your name, she shoved you into the forest, urging you to perform your task.
>> No. 7334
...

It was dark. Very dark. So dark you had to blink harder to be sure your eyes were indeed open. You could still feel the rock in your hand. Was it going to give you night vision or something? Whatever it was supposed to do, it was definitely not helping. You stumble over countless tree roots, and worked your way into what you believe was an area thick with hanging vines. The vines were slightly thick, but the odd part about them was that they were incredibly sticky. You had to pull one down just to get your hand off of it. Finally, up ahead you spied another patch of sunlight pouring through the thick forest canopy. You avoid as many of the vines as you can, pulling one down that seemed to have jumped towards you when you tried to bypass it.

Once you were in the patch of wondrous light, you saw just what you had been walking in to. In every direction that your limited vision saw,
was an entanglement of vines suspended from tree to tree. If you had to guess, these things looked exactly like spider webs. Even when you turn around, there was an entangled mass of webs there too. Whilst you stood there, reviewing your situation, the sunlight was momentarily interrupted. Now you had that feeling that you were being watched. Of course, you were standing in a spotlight, but how could you fight without seeing the thing. Maybe that is what the rock was for..

You pick your way through the least dense web hide behind what seemed to be a tree. Since your sight was limited, you had to listen for any threats. There were sporadic cracks of tree branches, giving away your stalker's position. With one loud crack, a branch fell and landed in the patch of light you were standing in previously. There was also a figure standing over it, with it's head tilted down. You jump out from the tree and throw the rock as hard as you could.

All you needed to hear was a howling rage, a set of four extra appendages, and blood red glowing eyes to make you turn and run. The thing was as fast as it was frightening, with it's foot steps and audible anger catching up to you. As you ran, your movement was suddenly impeded as you ran headlong into an entanglement of webbing. You struggle to rip it down, but unlike the sporadic and hanging webs, these refuse to fall. You can tell that more and more of the web is sticking to you and making your escape impossible. Upon this realization and your cease of attempting to break free, you notice just how quiet the forest was again. You might have lost the creature in your frantic escape. Your legs are still able to reach the ground, so you try to pull your upper body away from the web. Slowly you draw yourself backward and right as you begin to make progress, you feel your bottom bump into something. To make matters worse, it was too soft to be a tree.

"Thanks for your gift squishy thing. As if you running around my home and destroying my work wasn't insult enough." The voice was rough, but distantly feminine. The "thing" grabbed you on your hips and tossed up and forward, which had the effect of you stuck on the web, hanging upside down. Only now, you could see the nasty glowing fury in it's eyes that pierced through the dark. She stepped forward and the web you were caught in started to shake around. Then you could feel it being moved around you. It was wrapping you in a web cocoon! You pleaded for her to not kill you but your begging went un-noticed. She completed her work with great speed, and the tightly wrapped web was beginning to incite a claustrophobic feeling. The cocoon didn't give even a centimeter of freedom, it even made breathing difficult. Your rib flared up in pain as the cocoon you were in was tossed at something hard. Then you could feel the groud moving underneath you, as your "coffin" was dragged away. Panic, dread, and terror were the only emotions flowing through you all this time, but suddenly in the middle of it all, you get the random thought that it was, however much you hoped otherwise, that the rock from before was.. a plain rock.
>> No. 7335
...

After much thought and reasoning, you were beggining to accept death when the cocoon stopped moving. If it wasn't for a few strategically placed parts in the webbing left open, you would have died from suffocation a while ago. But now you were also feeling hungry, the thought still making you shiver as you remember that the creature probably is as well. "Alright squishy thing, time to fatten you up." The voice could echo through the cocoon with ease, and the webbing around your head was slowly slacking and being pulled back. As the last sticky vines were unwrapped from around your head, the creature only brought it down and tightly wrapped it around your mouth forming a gag. You could at least turn your head, and in doing so, noticed that you were back at the clearing with a single tree in the center; the very place you had met Mystia, as well as the nest of eggs. A deep sinking feeling was forming in your stomach and it definitely wasn't hunger anymore. You could also get a closer look at your captor. She was blonde with a black bow at the top of her head, and her dress was brown with two yellow ribbons wrapped around it. She was suspended by four large spidery-looking legs. The legs lowered her down to yourself and she wrapped her human arms and legs around the cocoon, with your head snuggly placed in her chest. She darted across the opening and skittered up the tree.

Straining your neck, you could see the nest with the eggs contained within, but they didn't look as colorful as before. The spider-girl hoisted you up and chucked you out of the tree as hard as she could. You landed on the ground with a loud thud, and you could swear that your rib was broke now. You heard a soft voice react and steps approach you. "What happened to you?! Please be alive!" Your cocoon was turned to the side and you were staring once again into golden yellow eyes. You tried to voice a warning to her, but your gag was proving too effective. Then, you noticed an object fly from the leaves of her tree and pelt her square in the back of her head. "What in the.." she turned and faced the tree, rubbing her head, but he reaction was too slow, as the spider leaped from the tree and tackled Mystia onto you. "What's wrong Mystia? You continuously send feeble men into my abode which only serves to irritate me further. My home was placed in this forest LONG before you came along."
Even though you weren't the one being held down and screamed at, you were still shivering from the hostility in her voice.
"And now, you are giving them things to throw at me? I really am going to eat you now.."

And with that, one of those spider legs rose up and hooked into Mystia's dress under the collar, and ripped it clear off.

--------------------------
That is all I had written so far. Thoughts / suggestions for improvement?
>> No. 7338
I also forgot to mention, majority of this was writen in notepad, so I was minus the luxury of a spellcheck.
>> No. 7343
Mystia, now completely bare, still struggled in futility, as the spider creature began to wrap her arms with some extra web from the cocoon. "No! Yamame, I..." and her plea was silenced with a hand clamping to her throat. "You aren't worthy enough to even speak my name!" and released her neck. Then... Yamame?.. turned around and started toward the tree. "STOP! DON'T!" Mystia's voice was cracking into a higher pitch that made your ears hurt. She continued screaming, making Yamame stop, and in one motion, turn back toward her and hit Mystia in the face with her hand. Yamame then restarted her approach to the tree, and her goal. Mystia tried to stand up, but with my weight and her arms being tied back at a weird angle, she had no hope. You noticed that you could suck in a bit of the web-gag. You tried chewing on it, and it reminded you of some sticky reisen from a tree your neighbor gave you once. It would take a while to chew through though.

Yamame stood before the tree, and pulled the nest full of eggs out of the low branch. She picked one and help it up in delight, which sent Mystia into another panic. "Please, leave them alone! They haven't done anything to you!" Yamame's head turned back toward us, and she walked back with a devilish grin across her face. "I'm not going to do anything to your eggs.." She stood over Mystia, pulled her lower jaw open, and placed an egg in her mouth. "...You are going to do it all by yourself!" and pushed her jaw back up.

Instead of a horrible mess, Mystia spat out fragments of the "egg". Yamame took a step backward, and held up an egg in front of the sunlight. "These.. these aren't eggs?" She tossed the nest aside and gripped Mystia's throat a second time. "Tell me where you hid them!" Mystia struggled against her and stoicly refused to answer. "Silent treatment? Fine, I'll just deal with you now." And at that time, she placed a hand down over Mystia's slit, and began to rub it diligently. "Once you begin to soak yourself, it'll be easy for me to plant my own children inside of you. What a delightful surprise they will have for their first meal." Yamame was working Mystia with all of her focus, and was unaware that you had been chewing through your gag. There was only a few strands left to get through, you had to try anything to save Mystia.

Yamame ceased rubbing Mystia, but now stuck a single finger inside of her, testing and measuring how long it would take until she was ready. Then she added a second finger, continuously causing Mystia to fidget, desperately trying to resist her natural functions. "You're progessing well Mystia. Now I should being to prepare myself as well." Yamame lifted her own dress, exposing her damp crotch. She hers right against Mystia's keeping herself suspended with her hairy spider legs. Yamame kept pushing herself against Mystia, who tried to push herself away, but her legs were losing strength and you could see in her face as fear gave way for lust. Soon enough, both of them were ramming and grinding their cunts together. You finally bite through the last part of your web-gag and yell "HEY! Don't forget me you cold-hearted bitch!" Mystia was too far gone to pay any heed to you, but Yamame merely tilts her head in your direction, still working on Mystia, and gives you another one of her grins. "Don't you worry. I'll need a male after this clutch to start another."

Soon after, both of them were moaning and struggling against each other. Yamame reached down and used two fingers to spread Mystia wide open. At that precise moment, you extended your neck and clamped down on one of her spider legs. Yamame reeled back, dragging you and Mystia with her as you refused to relinquish your bite. The abrupt end of pleasure and all the movement made Mystia aware of the situation again. Yamame raised her leg, and the combined weight of Mystia and yourself made you swear in your mind. The prickly spider hairs were also irritating the inside of your mouth. "You are the second largest nuisance I have ever had the displeasure to deal with." And with a back-handed slap of your own, you open your mouth and land back on the ground. Now Mystia was buried beneath you, but at least she was away from immediate harm. If the both of you would die during this, you at least tried. "I can always kidnap another person to mate with, all of you humans are insignificant!" Yamame reached over to one of her legs and plucked a handful of hairs. She began to prick you with them, and they felt as sharp as cactus needles. "It's too bad I can't reach the rest of your body without destroying my wonderful web. I would love to see you slowly die from having these cause infections." You could feel Mystia struggle beneath you, probably trying to secure some breathing room.

----------------------------
Thought I would hurry this scene. I thought how odd it would be to post a story on this board without the love
>> No. 7349
Noo Mystia ;_; How will we ever get out of this mess?

Good job, like it, keep it up.
>> No. 7351
You know if I wanted to read something like this, I'd go read a doujin, it's at least illustrated.
>> No. 7355
Fucking awesome. I only really noticed a few spelling errors so your fine there, and ignore 7351, he's just being a douchebag for some reason.
>> No. 7370
Proofreading is very important. Do so.
Spell checking is also very important. Do that too. Notepad is gross.
>> No. 7371
>>7370
Were there any specific problems you could elaborate on? Besides the spelling anyway. I can't use anything besides notepad until I can get off this laptop.
>> No. 7374
>>7371
http://www.openoffice.org/
Free, and runs quite nicely on my older computers. Although FWIW, I wasn't driven to distraction by what few typos there were. (Dialogue should generally start a new paragraph, though, especially when it's a different character speaking.)
>> No. 7416
Just asking... is this going to continue or are you done with it?
>> No. 7419
>>7416
I'm still around. It just takes me a bit to write. I look up some details on things to throw into my story (the hairs from Yamame being one. Most tarantulas do have irritating hairs) and I get side-tracked from there.
>> No. 7425
Right right take your time. Just asking.
>> No. 7503
You struggled to keep your face away from Yamame, but even in the back of your head, the pinprick of the hairs were unbearable. Her mocking laughter was the only sound in the area. Mystia was still struggling, but you were too restricted to do anything about it. You could tell though, that she was slowing down. Using your head as a lever, you try to lift your body up but your neck suddenly flares up in agonising pain. Letting out a cry of pain, Yamame's attention perks up again.

"Ahh, I see they are finally kicking in." You see Yamame walk around and stare at you, but another flare of pain makes you instinctively close your eyes. "The pain you are feeling right now is nothing that I have in store for Mystia. Speaking of, she's been awfully quiet." As the pain subsides again, you also realize that she had completely stopped moving. A third pang rises, but it wasn't the same as the previous two. Yamame pushes the coccoon to roll it over and expose Mystia. Strangely, she wasn't tied anymore; she was laying on the ground where you were, both of her eyes closed. Yamame's face was still, but rapidly turning a vivid red. She picked up the corpse, and slammed it into the nearby tree, letting it slide back down in a grotesque slump.

The worst wave of pain yet flooded into you, and you could almost feel Yamame's anger in it this time. It was too difficult to even scream. Your mouth was open but you just couldn't make your voice come out. Yamame was still standing over Mystia, with her arms trembling and her hands clenched into a fist. She turned around, and immediately you noticed one of her eyes were blood red. She only stood there, her murderous nature breaking the last barriers of her personality. The pain stopped surging, but now you wished that you were dead too.

"I'm tired of looking at you." Yamame grabbed you around your face, with her nails digging into your skin. Her hand was tightening, and her nails were cutting you even deeper. You were even getting a headache now, and the world was slowly getting darker. Right before you lost consciousness, you noticed Yamame's head twitch and a small object fall on the ground. She relented her grip instantly, and you struggled to stand upright for a second before falling over. You noticed the bare figure of Mystia leaning against a tree, struggling to keep upright.

"That was payment for before." Yamame growled with the same fury as when we first 'met' and raced toward Mystia. Mystia turned and ran into the forest, with Yamame right behind her, releasing a deafening roar. Soon, the forest dulled and became quiet again. There were no chirping birds, no twigs or leaves rustling when creatures ran across them, only a completely still forest...

-----------------------
I do have a bit more written than this. Just this seemed to be a good stopping point for this part. I really am writing, see?!
>> No. 7518
While I'm liking this so far, I do wonder why this is at /at/.
>> No. 7524
Probably because of the nakedness thing. I like this! You had me a bit worried with the "corpse" thing there though. Keep up the good work.
>> No. 7526
>>7524
You do realise that plenty of stories have nakedness. Outside of this board that is. Hell, the way I see it, this board is for stories that are mostly sex romps and not too much else.
>> No. 7527
Yes yes I realize. I was thinking about something else but whatever. Either it's what I'm thinking of or there's a sex scene in our imminent future.
>> No. 7529
>>7527
Yeah, I'm thinking it's more along those lines. Course, we'll have to see where things go from here to be certain.
>> No. 7530
Mystia did promise a reward for helping her, remember? But I will grant it seems a little low on content to be thrown on here, it was probably my biggest debate with myself.
>> No. 7532
That's a "story will be long(er)" right? Way to go!
>> No. 7614
>>7532
I didn't intend for that to mean "story is over" just "sorry update was short" and "if I added the rest I did have written, it would sound funny."

In other news, my college classes have started, but I'm still writing of course. Slow, distracted etc.
>> No. 7618
Don't worry I'll bump and spam if you don't update for too long. Update ca be as short as you want it to be as long as it's just the right legth
>> No. 8393
Bump! Update!
>> No. 8542
One more. I can't do this forever come on.
>> No. 8565
Alright alright.. Halloween has got me wanting to write something again, and I'm on my good computer.

Still have like 3 essay's due for my english comp class. I'll try for an update by Friday.
>> No. 8578
Yayy! As long as you're still here.
>> No. 8586
I am happy. I knew you would come back.
>> No. 8711
File 128919452931.jpg - (139.77KB , 600x600 , 0a07f5c8debac922dee35ec3fd51852a23ebbdb6.jpg ) [iqdb]
8711
Yeah I know, I suck. I blame the essay I have to write for classes. I am still around, dont worry! Also, I have been playing video games too much lately. And now another picture of Mystia.
>> No. 8725
It's fine, you're still working on it. Just don't give up~ I love this story.
Nice picture. You are forgiven.
>> No. 8732
Aww, no horrible spider ovipositer sex.

What is the world coming to?!
>> No. 9333
Buuump
>> No. 9353
It has been a long time since the last update, no?